Today we’re going to be talking about one of the most controversial topics in the industry, how to get revenge on your ex.
In fact, the tips that I’m about to share with you today have been used by my clients to successfully not only make their exes reach out and say, “I’ve made a mistake breaking up with you,” but also feel like the breakup was the best thing to happen to them.
Without further ado I introduce you to five best ways to get revenge on your ex.
- Understand Revenge Should Be About You Not Them
- The Frank Sinatra Effect
- Introduction To The Holy Trinity
- Habit Stacking Within The Holy Trinity
- Make Your Free Time Productive
Revenge Tip #1: Understand Revenge Should Be About You Not Them
My thoughts on revenge might be a little different than most people.
Generally speaking you’ll get people out there who argue that revenge is the worst thing in the world and that it can cause people to abandon their future goals and focus their attention on the pain of the past.
And they’re not wrong.
Revenge is an all consuming force that usually ends up causing cycles of retaliation.
But what most people gloss over is the fact that there is definitely a positive aspect to revenge. Sometimes it provides the proper motivation to get things done that you would have otherwise not done.
I recently watched a movie that is dedicated solely to the act of revenge called, The Revenant.
I was so inspired by the movies thesis on revenge that I ended up doing a lot of research on the philosophical ramifications of revenge and came across this quote from the director.
Revenge, once accomplished, just leaves you empty and then the meaning of life simply collapses.
The assertion here is that you become overcome with revenge your entire life becomes dedicated to this one purpose and then once you “achieve” this purpose you’re left lost and for the most part I agree with this.
But one thing I don’t agree with is the idea that “all revenge” has to be bad. My argument would be that it’s simply a matter of intent.
Have you ever heard of Judo?
The beauty of Judo is that it’s all about taking an opponents weight and redirecting it making the “throws” inherently easier. I think revenge can actually be a positive thing if you can harness it’s ability to get sh*t done as a way to improve your life after a breakup.
That’s the way to use your notion of revenge.
Instead of thinking,
“What’s the best way I can get revenge on my ex?”
I want you to think,
“What’s the best way I can get revenge on my ex by showing them they made a mistake?”
This leads us seamlessly to my next revenge tip.
Revenge Tip #2: The Frank Sinatra Effect
My all time favorite quote is attributed to Frank Sinatra and I think you’ll find it particularly relevant,
The best revenge in life is massive success
Everything that I’m going to teach you to do within this article is going to revolve around that as it falls in line with harnessing your revenge motivation and funneling it into something positive for your life.
Lately I’ve been on this kick in my life with “planting a seed every day.”
I’ve never put much stock into astrology but for those of you reading I’m a taurus,
Which means according to astrology I’m,
But also lazy…
And believe me there are times where I’ll go into this self loathing mode because of how lazy I’ve become and it’s all self inflicted but lately I’ve been trying to stomp out this weakness and so far there’s only thing that works.
At the end of every day I ask myself, “How many seeds did I plant today?”
A seed can be anything from,
- Writing an article like this
- Doing a workout
- Spending time with my family and doing something extraordinary with them
- Writing my book
Something that may not yield results right away but will definitely grow down the line. Now, do you notice how all the seeds I’m planting are about improving my own life? That’s by design.
So the first question I think you need to ask yourself after a breakup is what kinds of seeds are you planting every day?
If your answer is none then let me teach you my method.
Revenge Tip #3: Introduction To The Holy Trinity
Imagine for a moment you could divide your life up into three major categories. Most likely those categories would be,
Each would comprise separate entities within them.
- Working out
- Eating healthy
- Sleeping more
- Hydrating properly
- Taking care of your emotional health
- Social status
Each of these three categories has an interesting synergistic aspect to them. For example, when you go through your breakup your relationship category becomes impacted in a negative way and that impact carries over into the other categories as well.
Maybe the breakup causes you to cheat on that diet or lose the motivation to work out. All of a sudden health is becoming negatively impacted which in turn leads you to depression (again your mental health taking a hit.) Pretty soon you decide to call in sick to work because you don’t feel like going and you end up getting fired.
All of that from a simple breakup.
Yet if it’s true that all of the trinity categories are connected then you can use it for your aims as well. In fact, most of my work with clients is actually helping them realize that one of the best ways to get their lives on track is by focusing the areas outside of their breakup and creating positive momentum.
The end goal should always be the same.
Balance the trinity out.
Revenge Tip #4: Habit Stacking Within The Trinity
If there’s one flaw with the trinity concept it’s the fact that it’s nearly impossible to properly balance the darn thing.
As I pointed out in an article I wrote yesterday.
There are 24 hours in a day.
- But you sleep for 8 hours.
- You probably goof off for another 4 or 5 hours.
- You work or go to school for around another 8 hours.
- This leaves you four hours to eat, drive or do whatever else you do throughout the day.
At best you’ll probably only be able to put equal time into two categories and neglect one and that’s the way it often is. For most people it’s their health that they neglect because it really is the easiest one to neglect. Not only will it inherently require the least amount of time to improve (there’s only so many hours a day you can work out or eat well) but it’s often prioritized lowest.
Yet I’ve gotten a hidden tip that I’ve never talked about before that I’m going to give you.
I call it habit stacking.
This is best done with an example so I’m going to use myself as one.
A few weeks ago I got an MRI on my knee and found out that I have something called Osteochondral Lesion on my left knee. Basically a piece of bone or cartilage has begun to tear off and it’ll probably require surgery.
For half a year this knee has been giving me problems and I’ve had to cut out all kinds of physical activity which means that my favorite thing to do, going for a run, was no longer possible.
This meant that my “health” category got completely torn apart within the holy trinity.
So, quite literally half my time was spent on wealth (working) and on relationships (family.)
And then I stumbled across this,
Rebel Wilson one of the most famous comedy actors lost a lot of weight.
What I found so interesting about it is that really she didn’t do some navy seal level workout but she ended up simply walking one hour a day and eating healthier. The I remembered something that David Goggins, famed Ultra runner said,
He ended up finding out he had a hole in his heart (not kidding) and had to get a special surgery for it. He wasn’t able to run for like a year after the surgery but he simply become the “best walker” in the world to scratch that itch.
And so I decided that even though my knee is messed up and I couldn’t run I could at least improve my health category by walking. It isn’t much but it was enough to make me feel like I planted a small seed.
But something interesting happened on my walk. I brought my phone and headphones and ended up listening to this,
I’m actually in the process of writing a fantasy novel and wanted to learn what I could about the napoleonic war from firsthand accounts to improve my writing and so for an hour last night I went walking (health) and cultivated my mind to improve my book (wealth).
And it was here that I realized that what I was doing was habit stacking within the trinity. If it’s at all possible one of the best ways to achieve balance of the trinity is find those areas where it’s possible to create an overlap so that you can check off multiple areas at the same time.
Kill two birds with one stone so to speak.
Which leads me to my final point.
Revenge Tip #5: Make Your Free Time Productive
I’m going to give you insight into my entire day.
- I wake up and start writing an article for this website
- I deal with any coaching fires I need to put out
- I take a break and eat lunch
- I then go upstairs and film a video for YouTube (usually over the article I completed earlier in the day)
- I spend time cultivating time with my family
- I walk the dog (for about an hour while listening to things to help my fantasy novel)
- When my wife puts my daughter to bed I come down and start working on the fantasy novel
- Then I take a shower
- Then I watch television shows, movies or read books to understand scene dynamics to improve my book
- Sometimes I’ll text back and forth with a graphic designer to illustrate things for the book
- Then I go to bed
- Then I get up the next day and do it again.
Sometimes on the weekends I need a break from this routine so I’ll just have a “whatever I want to do” day but what do you notice about my schedule?
Even my free time is productive in some way.
I’ve always been an avid lover of stories and so a few years ago when I decided to get serious about trying to create something I decided to turn my hobby of watching movies and reading books into something productive that can potentially create wealth for me.
The way I look at it is that there’s one thing I have complete control over and that’s my effort.
- I may not be the smartest
- I may not write the best
- I may not be the most talented
But the one thing I have complete control over is how I spend my time and the effort I put into it and it’s there that I refuse to be outdone.
If you want revenge on your ex this is the type of mentality you need to have.