5 Critical Ways To Get Over and Move On After Your Ex Dumps You

786 thoughts on “How To Get Over Your Ex Boyfriend”

Caitlin

March 19, 2014 at 2:00 am

Hi Chris

Really love your site! I require your help though. Desperately.

I think i might have read every article on here its all fantastic info, really appreciate your time.

The situation with my ex is unique. He broke up with me to learn to be ‘independent’ as hes been in constant relationships for the last 5 years.
I think that excuse is a load of crap to be quite frank, but hey who knows?
This is the third time we’ve broken up. Every time hes left me its been for the same reason.
First time we broke up, we got back together in 4 days, I was applying the nc rule (for myself though, not to win him back).
2nd time, we were broken up for about a month, but having contact was what brought us back together that time.
Its been a week since we’ve broke the last time, and 5 days without any contact. I did seem to push him away. Sending messages to him on the day and day after the break up, begging him to come back.
He was being very apologetic at first, and telling me how much he loves me and is sorry he has to do this, but the last thing he replied his manner changed, he said “I’ve told you everything. This is not easy for me, its just not. I just need to do this for myself. I’ll eventually stop replying, don’t let it get to that. I’m sorry” I could tell he was fed up.

So I didn’t reply, and have no intention to make contact with him any time soon.

When he broke up with me (i might add he said this the 2nd break up aswell), he said he wants to be friends in the future, but for us to be friends we need to have no contact so we can get over one another.

I feel like i have to accept the fact that he can’t handle this relationship, and I need to move on.

I’ve done what you’ve said, focusing on myself.
I got a new job! (as i was unemployed for a few weeks) i’ve been working out (not that i need to lose weight, just want to be fit and healthy)
I’ve even set goals for myself, within a time frame. (to be honest even if he did come running back right now, i’d say No I need to reach my goals first, and that’s the honest truth.”

I don’t want to give up, and move on.
But it seems like I don’t have a choice.

The worst part is, in my eyes the reason for the break up was petty. If there was an actual reason, for instance he said ” I don’t see us working” or ” I don’t love you anymore” then fine, accepting the break up would be easier because he doesn’t actually want me, sure it would hurt more, but would be easier.
He told me though, he loves me more than anyone in the world, that this is the hardest thing that he’s ever had to do, and that ‘us’ as a couple were perfect, there was nothing wrong with the relationship << all his words.

That's why its so hard for me to understand and move on, he seem's to WANT the relationship, but CAN'T have one right now.

Iv'e set myself a 3 month limit for my goals.
Once i've done all these things for myself, I was thinking of contacting him then, not necessarily to rekindle things, just to see how he's going with his life. Whether i'm over him or not, and whether he's contacted me or not, that's my plan.

Honest opinion though, say I can't get over him, and do try to win him back, how likely do think it will be? Especially with no contact for 3 months.
I will stick to everything you've said. But is 3 breakups too many to try again?

Also, I'm 20 and hes 23. All up our relationship's' were short lived, roughly 5 months, but we both fell for eahc other hard.

Please Help!

admin

March 20, 2014 at 6:15 pm

I think you have a shot. However, I am not going to sit here and tell you that you will succeed. It is impossible for me to say something like that and know for sure. However, if you stick with the guidelines I lay down I think you have a good shot.

Stace

March 15, 2014 at 8:55 pm

Hi, I need a bit of help 🙁 I was seeing a guy for a couple of months and then he said he didn’t want a relationship and didnt want to mess me around.since then I have had a friends with benefits relationship with him.the sad thing is even with our fwb he is constantly changing his mind whether he wants it or not.one time I went around just for sex and we didnt have dex he wanted me to stay and just snuggle which just confused me completely.i find when I’m with him I want him and am happy being with him but find myself hurt by something he will say or I worry that he will say no to me again.i know it will end with him saying no to me.the thing is I can’t get him completely out of my life because he is living in the same household as one of my good friends and tends to go to town with mutual friends (which hurts as well).what do I do? Do I break it with him first? How do I deal with haing to see pics of him with other people etc?

admin

March 18, 2014 at 4:54 pm

you act as classy as possible.

Have you read my FWB article yet?
Stace

March 23, 2014 at 9:33 am

I ended it with him and haven’t heard from him since.trying to get over him now

skittlesandcombos

March 4, 2014 at 5:51 pm

Hey. I really could use some advice. My boyfriend of about 2 years or so and I just broke up on Saturday. I guess he broke up with me, but I don’t think that was his initial intention, and we were both just discussing problems we have been having, and the conversation sort of steered that way.
He moved away for grad school several hours away. We are both extremely busy. We have been planning on my moving there, but things have been hard with the distance. When we broke up he told me he still loves me more than anyone and trusts me more than anyone, he just worries that marriage and a family won’t happen as quickly as I would like and he doesnt want me to be bitter. That if we were near each other, he would be willing to try to work through things, but he feels guilty and worries what would happen if things dont work out and I move out there. I was kind of a wreck, like unable to keep it together on skype when this all went down. Ive tried talking to him and making him let me just come see him, because I already had a plane ticket and plans to see each other for spring break, and told him I would still move out there and I am willing to be flexible for someone I love to follow their dreams. He just keeps saying things werent working with the distance and he knows its hard. I feel like ive botched it pretty good, and he has to know im sort of falling apart,but just last week he told me to get my RN license there so it would be easier when applying for jobs. Is it still possible for the NC order to work for me? Is it foolish for me to respond to job offers out there if they are something I am really interested in (as I have already applied to several)? Would it be absolutely foolish of me to consider still moving out there, or would that make me look just desperate,as he said he would want to try to work things out if we lived near each other sometime again(because I mentioned that I was interested in travel nursing when I was able experience wise to him, which is when he said that.)

Sorry this was so long. I am sort of lost. I can start with NC, I just wonder if it is too late now, and if it would just seem like a farce you think ..
Lori

February 28, 2014 at 10:12 pm

So I’m struggling with the whole limited contact thing. My ex and I dated for 4 months and he broke up with me 3 weeks ago because he said he didn’t feel a connection. Yet, we go to the same school and are required to interact in class.

A couple days after we broke up, he texted me a couple times to ask if we could meet up and talk about things. I have to admit I did not ignore him. I replied the first time that it probably wasn’t a good idea and the second time I said I couldn’t (that was 1 week ago).

During that week he was very friendly with me in class but I didn’t engage him. Now this week he has been completely avoiding me. He doesn’t act friendly anymore. He even avoids eye contact.

This is really upsetting to me. It’s affecting my school performance as it strains our required group interactions. Also, I miss our friendship and wish we could be friends again.

Do you still advise in continuing the NC for the full 3 months even though he is someone that I see every single day? I don’t want it to continue affecting my school work. Also, do you have any more advice on limited contact?

FYI, I’m not trying to win him back. I just want to be friends. But I am not fully over him, although I have made some progress.
cassie

February 26, 2014 at 3:47 am

okay so my situations is extremely complicated. I live with my ex and we have a 1 year old girl. I am currently pregnant with our 2nd child. Yet he always tells me we are never going to get back together I want to move out, but no one is going to hire me 5 months pregnant and showing. So I have no source of income he takes care of me while I am going back to school. I don’t want to love him anymore and I never want to see him again but with 2 kids that is impossible idk what to do…

admin

February 27, 2014 at 7:25 pm

I hear you… So, you want to get over him? If so, you may have to start emotionally distancing yourself from him.
cassie

March 2, 2014 at 8:09 am

thank you, I am currently trying it is really hard because he obviously is noticing and is always asking whats wrong and that’s what he used to do I just don’t want him to ask me any questions or even touch me I told him this but yet he still does the only thing I want him to talk to me about is our children but that’s it. I feel horrible and I feel sad and mad all at the same time and I know that it isn’t the pregnancy because that how I would feel if I was just by myself I don’t want to feel that way anymore

Sofia

February 19, 2014 at 10:19 pm

I’ll stick to this article for the next months. After an awful breakup I tried everything to get him back, but I did it the wrong way, and he has met another girl already.
Today he crushed me with an email saying stuff like “This shit must stop now. I dont like you, I dont love you, I dont want u as friend. Leave me alone. You’re making my life a fuckin hell”, “Move on and let me live my life. I don’t need a stalker and u have gone too far”, “I swear to god this is the last time I write you”

Hard to believe that he was telling me how much he loved me 3 months ago. I really want to make him miss me and come back crawling only so I can rejet him in the same way he did to me. Any advices? sorry if this comment doesn’t make much sense but right now I’m pissed. Is it possible for someone to turn their feeling from love to hate that fast? do you think he really meant what he wrote? of course I haven’t replied to such thing. what should I do now?

admin

February 20, 2014 at 7:40 pm

He probably didn’t mean everything he wrote.

Julie

February 19, 2014 at 3:24 am

I’m not going to lie but I read this page because I found that my ex blocked me on his phone which pushed me to moving on. I broke up with him after dating for five years he was my first real boyfriend and the only man ( and still the only guy) I have ever been with. I broke up with him because he was physically and emotionally abusive and I couldn’t take it anymore. We saw one another three months after the break up but he started dating someone one week after we broke up. Long story short we grew a connection we slept together and then he pretty much went back to hanging with his girlfriend. This messed me up emotionally and mentally and he thinks I’m crazy because he just doesn’t see how he screwed my head up yet again.

admin

February 19, 2014 at 7:24 pm

Well, sleeping together is a big deal. Someone always gets attached. He seems like he has some issues. HE is the problem not you.

Lisa

February 15, 2014 at 10:12 am

Hi Chris,

So I’m completely in a rut with my ex boyfriend… I have gone to extreme levels to figure out my relationship with him, but it seems like nothing has helped.. I’ve known my ex since 2008.. We had met through mutual friends… We began to talk… He would constantly text me through out the day… And then talk on the phone all night… We werent dating just talking… It seemed as if he liked me more than I liked him… He would tell him about how ‘crazy’ his ex gf was and she might break us apart… So one day his ex gf called… And she had told me that they were still together… So I told her I didn’t know that she can keep him and I’ll walk
Away from the situation, which I did… Couple months went by and we started talking again, but nothing like that just as friends… Then at the end of 2010 he started to tell me again that he cares about me and I still wasn’t interested… So eventually in march 2011 we started to date… Things seemed to good to be true… I was very happy… And by the way he’s my first boyfriend, I’ve never had a bf but him… So into our relationship we started to get into small arguments… And I admit I was that girlfriend that would constantly call and text… So when we would fight he would ignore me for weeks or even months… And I would constantly keep trying to contact him I understand I was very wrong to do that… So in 2012 he ended our relationship… I went ballistic.. At that time I had a lot going on in my life… My parents were getting separated and I was dumb enough to fall for all the nonsense people spoke about him… That was another flaw about me I believed others more than him …. I was very immature as you can tell and I admit to it… Still after 2 yrs I care about him… In these 2 yrs we’ve had our ups and downs at times he’s fine with me and at times hes a jerk… Initially in our breakup he was ignoring me completely… I’ve tried to talk to other guys to move on but they turn to be bigger jerks…. So a couple months ago we met and things were great with us… He even came out for lunch with me and my friends… Things seemed like they were better than ever… Then after a week of talking i told him that I still cared about him… He said he can’t be with me cause we have to much baggage… So we stop talking again… I posted a picture on whatsapp with a guy friend who he also knows but doesn’t like … That day when he saw that picture he told me he has a gf… I thought it was sucha coincidence… I still kept talking to him,,, and he kept trying to make me jealous by asking me advice about his relationship with his new gf… His stories didn’t seem to connect… But I still went with it… So my ex and I study overseas… So before I was going home for winter vacation we got into an argument… But when I was on the plane I missed him so I called he picked up and we had a good conversation….. When I landed in California I had sent him a picture of food I had cooked… And he said why didn’t you ever cook for me… So sometimes I feel like he gives these hints to me as if he cares,… He was also telling me what to cook for my brothers and dad… So I took it as if he cares… Cause none of my other guy friends could careless about stuff like that… So again i told him how I felt about him…. And he said we can’t be together again… So I stopped talking… 3 weeks went by and I thought since the new yr is starting we should start fresh so I msged him and he said yea right… So I took it in a negative way and I didn’t reply again,.. Then a few days later I don’t know what was wrong with me but I msged him again telling him I care and I got the same response from him as usual and then he blocked me on whatsapp… So then I told myself that I can’t keep doing this to myself so I didn’t try to contact him for 5 weeks … And things felt good… I felt better … So when I was on my way back to school I realized he unblocked me on whatsapp I was shocked… And also I don’t get him… When I go over a month without contacting him.. He does things like this which seems like he wants to talk… At times he would even text himself… So I made plans with a friend to hangout who lives in the city my ex lives in which is about 2 hrs from me… So I texted him that I’m coming and if he wants to meet to let me know… No response … I sent him a normal text msg not a whatsapp convo… So I left it… And my ex is a huge gym-aholic … So my friend needed advice so I told her to ask him… So she called him and he figured out she was my friend so he was like to my friend pass Lisa the phone and she said that I wasn’t there… Then after he got off the phone with her he called me about 5 mins later and I answered the call… He was talking to me perfectly fine… But I was giving very short response.. So then later on in the evening I texted him on whatsapp asking him that he unblocked me.. He said yaa… I asked why,.. He said I can block you again,.. I said that was his choice but no response… Then the next day I asked him if he got my msg from the previous afternoon… He said that your coming here… So I was like why would you not respond to that but call me … He said I don’t know… Then accidentally I sent him this link to an application I had to fill out when I was suppose to send it to my cousin … He said stop msging me,,, then yesterday I found out I passed my exams… I was super happy I told
Everyone… I even told him.,. He congratulated me… And then I started to talk about what my future plans… And he was being supportive and was even giving me ideas of what to do… Since our breakup I have matured quite a bit (still have a bit more to do)… I’m ready to do whatever to fix my relationship,… I have also apologized to him about the way I behaved… Even he has apologized… And at times when I tell him that you need to stop playing games with me… He tells me he doesn’t but then he stories never connect… What do you think Chris??? I need your help majorly!! I know I have already done so much damage.

admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:33 pm

So, you think he is lying to you?
Lisa

February 16, 2014 at 5:48 am

About having a new gf yes.. I think he’s just trying to make me jealous and playing hard to get
Lisa

February 16, 2014 at 2:50 pm

Oh yea and FYI when I said I was talking about future plans I was talking about my career. Also, my friends tell me they think he cares about me, but is confused.
Lisa

February 20, 2014 at 7:03 pm

Please help… Sorry for being so annoying
Lisa

February 15, 2014 at 10:17 am

Sorry it’s so long

Lori

February 15, 2014 at 4:02 am

I was with my boyfriend for 4 months. And although that is not a very long time, I still had very strong feelings for him. He just broke up with me today. He ended things because he said he didn’t feel a connection. I feel terrible and although I’m sure that I will be able to get over it eventually, we go to school together. We have the same classes and have to interact with each other several times a week. So my question is, I want to do no contact to get over him, but how can I do that when I see him every single day?

admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:11 pm

You may have to do some form of limited contact. But don’t engage him at all.

Brokenheart

February 14, 2014 at 3:36 am

I just ended a 4 years relationship.
He wanted a breakup at the end.
He is a divorced man with 1 kid when we broke up. After the broke up, I only found out that he in fact has 2 kids already. His second son is born after 2 years we dated, and it’s a son with his ex wife again.
I don’t know what happened in fact. It seems that I’m a mistress all this while and it seems that he never divorce. I called him up to ask for the answer and he told me his second son was adopted. As his ex wife requested him to help her adopt a son for the company of their eldest son. I don’t know I should believe him or not.
Anyway, we have broke up. He lied to me on certain things as well. During the past 4 years, he hides our relationship from colleagues as we work in the same company. He told me he afraid of gossips as he doesn’t want anyone in the office to know about his divorce. So I had been living as a kept girlfriend for the past 4 years. I thought he would give me an open relationship one day but even till we talked about marriage, he was like forced by me to do everything.
It has been a month after we broke up. I still miss him so much as I love him so much.

What should I do?

admin

February 14, 2014 at 6:41 pm

Well, do you want him back or are you just focusing on getting over him?
Brokenheart

February 15, 2014 at 5:32 am

I’m confused. I know I should walk away from this bad relationship as he doesn’t seem to care for my feelings and respect me all this while. But it’s really tough at this stage. I feel so miserable inside as he has broken the trust between us by lying to me. The worst part is I only found out after the breakup. It really hurt me badly. I want to know what had happened in the past 4 years but I know he won’t tell me the truth. I have no way to find out the answer as well. My friends told me to let it go. I tell myself the same thing as well but most of the times I would think back again.

I still love him though I know there is no way turning back as he was the one who let go the ball when I asked him to decide whether to get married or to break up. He doesn’t love me anymore. It has been a month but he never contact me at all. I have no choice now but to leave as well.

I want to get over him for good. I want to be happy again. I want to meet a better man. I am 36 years old I am not young anymore. I deserve a better man than him.
admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:14 pm

Honestly I think you should walk away. Not b/c you can’t get him back but b/c I think it will be better for you in the long run.
Brokenheart

February 16, 2014 at 3:25 pm

You are right, Chris. Thanks!

Bre

February 13, 2014 at 11:18 pm

We broke up a little over a month ago after going back and forth saying he don’t want to lose me he loves me, we never know what tomorrow may bring i told him i didn’t want to be confused and unhappy we were still having sex but he just didn’t want to be w/ me anymore so i told him i give up and if he loves me he’ll come around we didn’t talk for a couple days then i texted him happy birthday he responded saying thanks then the next day i caved i called him he answered and hung up immediately i gnat texted him saying i love him i’m sorry i called i just wanted to tell him i love him and i was gonna start therapy he never responded, i waited a week still got nothing i then caved again calling and gnat texting just asking for closure i even texted his mom still nothing.. I want to end this for good i am tired of this heartache and i want to get over him i know he won’t respond to my texts but i want to give him back his clothes he gave me and his playstation 3 he gave to me that i haven’t touched since the breakup.. Should i just bring it by his house or mail it or just throw it out he told me awhile ago he didn’t want anything he gave to me but i don’t want to keep anything that reminds me of him
Nava

February 10, 2014 at 1:52 am

Love this post! When he dump you, its over. Move on. Why waste time thinking about the reasons. Its pathetic. I was in that situation. My ex leave me, and just after two weeks of no contact, he come back begging. To me, i’m done. Once you leave me, the door is closed. I don’t waste time dealing with a man who treat me like crap. You should’nt too!

admin

February 10, 2014 at 5:57 am

Glad you liked this!

Getting over an ex is tougher than you would believe.

kimora-liegh

January 29, 2014 at 4:15 am

hi,
i seriously need help i feel as though im going out of my mind. My ex n i broke up a couple of days ago and its killing me we were together for almost 2 yrs but he was my first in everything my first love my first romance,kiss and sexually.So there is alot of attachment there. well this is where my story twist my ex and i are actually neighbour’s. so it hurts when i see him with all these different girls leaving his apartment.i cry all day i cant focus on school work or anything i have no other place to go can someone please advise me on what i should do to get over him because if i dont and soon i might lose my mind.

admin

January 29, 2014 at 6:58 pm

Are you currently doing NC?

Melina

January 28, 2014 at 5:00 am

Its been almost six years since I left my first love. We were together for four years before I left him. He beat me and left scars on my body, he stole my money, he was a roid monkey, he cheated on me so much, and lied to me constant. Since he originally started off two months into the relaionship like that, and I stayed because he was captain of the football team and I loved his body so much, I expected him to act that way but got mad when he did. Now that I think of it I was hoping he wasent what he is, and I tried changing him which is wrong even if he does need a brain adjustment. For some reason I cannot get over him. Ive been with some one else and he lied to me, when I actually trusted him. First guy I even trusted and a year later I catch him lying. Completely broke me apart. But I still think about my first love. My second boy firned gives me quivers and disgusts me because of what he did. Why doesnt #1 ? Like his actions disgust me dont he me wrong, but why do I think about him ? Compare every one to him? And all my friends live far so its not like I can watch shows and do things to keep me occupied. And I isolate myself I can’t help it I dont know how to get out of my hobbit. Either I over eat and gain lots of weight, or I starve which is now but thats for the sake of aniamls im a animal activist that is not ex related and im doing it right this time I see the doctor for a veggie diet. Its been nine years almost I have compared dates to. I seen a few guys and they only last a week or so, I get super annoyed with them and I leave them. Ive never been dumped. And I’ve listen to sad songs and I’ve ate pleasure food and I went to college and made friends and dated and he still wont go away… im tired … so tired and I miss him but if he came back I would say no. What do i need to do or should I do

Melina

January 28, 2014 at 5:03 am

Cant help it, dont know how to get this habbit out of my system *
Azalea

September 6, 2014 at 6:05 pm

I have been in a relationship with my ex for almost 2 years…we really loved each other. Not even a day passed when we didn’t say I love you to each other n all that stuff…of course we had problems but we stood by each other each time…m 17 n he is 21…the problem is that he was not at all focused on his career..i always had to tell him that we should right now focus on our career…we knew that we can wait for each other till we were ready to commit…but he always took this for granted. Now, my parents wanted me to have a guy who can keep me happy…just like how my parents did…but this used to annoy my bf…i was so depressed due to his this behaviour that i broke up with him. He was literally heart broken. I feel that i have lost a limb or something. Besides my family, he was the most important part of my life…n i had lost him…but still i decided to move on. It’s been 3 weeks after my break up…i blocked his every number i had on my cell phone, but he texted me frm another no…n said he wants to be friends. I agreed…n i came to know that after the break up, he got pretty serious about his career…he got an internship in a really good company…he said he was doing this only for me…he was ready to wait for me but i am really confused now…i really love him, but m afraid that he will take me for granted once again after i enter the relationship…i don’t think it will be possible for me to break up with him again, then…i need your advice, Chris…please help!

Alvi

January 26, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Hi Chris!! First thing first….Thank you a gazillion time for this awesome article…it was like talking to you in person…a stranger you may be but you sure are a really good counsellor,teacher and above all, a friend. I’ve broke up with up with my bf 4 weeks ago n every single day of those 4 weeks sucked. cried my heart out for day and night…couldn’t eat properly…couldn’t stop thinking bout him and all the memories we had together….spend hours on phone talking to my friends but nothing seemed to make me feel any better. And of all the days last night was just unbearable….slept crying at 5:00am n woke up crying at 2:00pm….I thought my eyes were gonna fall off but before that happened I came across this God-send article…from the first line itself it made me feel better…after I’ve finished reading it…my heart becme lighter and the attitude of “I’m gonna make him regret letting me go” set in…I’m totally loving this feeling and so celebrated my freedom from this heartache by dancing around..haha…but you really are a saviour…Thanks again. Next time any of my friends goes through the same as me, I’m just gonna give them a good hug and say “exboyfriendrecovery.com”

admin

January 27, 2014 at 7:09 pm

Hey, you are more than welcome.

I love hearing from people like you! I really do.

Madison

January 25, 2014 at 8:05 pm

So I am ready to move on but I have one more question and need your help ONE LAST TIME , I texted my text ” hope your doing good and hope your happy here if you ever need anything” witch yeah was a mistake because he never said anything to me, I looked on his facebook hes moving out of state in 2 weeks and the girl I told you about the one I think he is seeing said ” you don’t have to go please don’t ” he never said anything , anyways I think I should send a text to him or I don’t know if I should leave it , this is what I would say ” Hey , so I got the hint you don’t want to talk because you never responded back to my text . but meadow showed me you were moving to your sisters ! and you know what I think that’s great like I’ve said ” I support what ever you want to do ” I just wanted to say that I enjoyed everyday we were seeing each other , I am sorry it didn’t work out and we both made mistakes and I am sorry about how it ended I don’t know what happened there, and I don’t know what you were think because I am not in your shoes , but obviously you had a reason , I kinda wish you would have told me you were seeing someone new I really hope she was worth it all unless you were seeing her as well as me.. I truly do love you ever after all this I don’t know what this was to you but it was something to me at one point . I hope you have a great time ! go to a cowboys game for me !I don’t know if we’ll ever talk again but know ill always be a part of you . goodbye kristian ! ” NOTE ;I have known him for almost 10 years so should I send it even tho he never texted me back or leave it ? if you have an idea on what I should and should not say tell me I really just want to say goodbye and end it and move on .
MovingOn

January 22, 2014 at 8:04 am

Hi Chris
Just wanted to say…you are one super awesome brave man. I know dealing with woman can’t be easy. Your articles have become my bible and I feel so empowered to take my life back. Thanks for taking the time. I’m from South Africa so your website really is making a difference around the world and I am suggesting it to so many friends. Our currency,(The rand) is extremely weak out here but as soon as I’ve saved up enough money, I will definitely but your e-book 🙂 Stay awesome

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:07 pm

Aww thanks for the kind comments!

Ill keep adding content that is really good for you.

Angela

January 22, 2014 at 4:29 am

My ex boyfriend and I broke up about… 3 days ago? I recently moved to another city and we had been attempting long distance (I know, you don’t have to say it). Before i left we had been dating for about a year and a half and were friends before that. I am heart broken to say the least, but I have to admit that the time we spent apart in between visits has helped it hurt just a bit less. Our breakup was really emotional because we both knew that the timing was wrong, even though we both still love each other so much… the distance brought out the worst in both of us and we argued unlike we ever did before. Things are even more complicated because I’m visiting soon… during Valentine’s day. He told me he wanted to see me every day if he could. Only thing is I don’t think I could see him without wanting all of him, and I really don’t think he could resist either. I’m scared since the wound is still so fresh. I don’t want to feel depressed after seeing him and reminding myself what it feels like to be next to him and having to leave again, but I also don’t want to visit and regret not seeing him, after all I think that we owe it to each other after all that we’ve been through. I’m torn.

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Are you doing the NC rule?
Angela

January 24, 2014 at 4:44 am

it’s been a week. and it feels like forever.

first_last

January 22, 2014 at 4:20 am

Hi, perhaps someone can give me some advice.

We were together for 4 1/2 months, and she broke up with me this past October. Long story short, I became a bit jealous (which I had never done before), and I also became a bit more serious about us at a much faster pace than she wanted. Thus, she left me.

After ending things, we did communicate somewhat often, but I did try to push being friends a bit to soon…similar to what many others do. She did, however, come in town during Thanksgiving and stayed at my apartment on the couch. There were no issues during her stay. We were a little distant during her stay, but I was fairly cordial.

Just before Christmas, one of the guys whom I became jealous of, became her boyfriend. As expected, it hurt, and still does. Truthfully, she was only staying over on Thanksgiving simply because his family was in town. I honestly knew that’s what was happening at the time, but she was my friend before everything ended, and she’ll always be my friend (as long as I can stand it).

I had given her some space just before Christmas, and she messaged me during that time. Our texts were fairly brief, but we were each kind to one another and each gave the impression that we were happy and having a good time. New Years came and she did send me a happy New Year’s text, of which I responded the same the following day.

Since the breakup, she had been ‘liking’ many of my statuses and pictures on Facebook (honestly, they were good pictures and interesting statuses), but in early January, I posted a picture of a landscape at a park saying “I’m so glad we decided to come up here today”. I was with a platonic friend, of whom she doesn’t know, and I have no interest in. Since that time, she hasn’t ‘liked’ any of my statuses or pictures – of which, I know she would have. I’m assuming that, since that picture/statement was posted, she might have changed her settings to where she doesn’t see my profile without making an effort to check it.

I sent her a text a week ago, while she was at a conference, saying “I hope you’re having a great time at … I can only imagine how awesome it is!”. There was no response. Nothing since I posted that Facebook picture/statement (which was only a landscape picture – no people).

Regarding the current boyfriend:
She does have a history of doing things with others when she is pushed. i.e. Her ex boyfriend pushed for sex, she left him, had sex with someone she didn’t even like, and regretted it.

I do admit that I still check her Facebook. Neither have added any of each others family (he would have surely added her sister), and there have been no pictures of her and her boyfriend together posted on Facebook (I checked through a mutual friend, in case she blocked me from it). Yes, I probably ‘shouldn’t be concerned with her boyfriend or her life’, but it’s in our innate nature to do so, and I care for her greatly. I have, however, stopped checking her Facebook since my last text message.

I know all the mistakes I’ve made and, for once, I have been trying my best to do something about it. She’s the only person who has ever actually made me want to be a better person; not just for her but for me. I’m working harder, exercising more, eating healthier, volunteering with an animal shelter again (of which she would be ecstatic to know that I do that), working with after school programs, reading books/articles on relationships and jealousy, ect…

I’ve never asked for help before, but I’m at a loss. While our time together was relatively short, it was the happiest time of my life thus far, and I really want to be able to try to start over with everything. I would very much like a new beginning with her.

Any help is much appreciated.

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:03 pm

I am actually writing a new site for people in your situation.
first_last

January 22, 2014 at 9:06 pm

Is there any bit of general advice you could give me for the time being? I’ve read multiple sites regarding things somewhat similar to this, and they’re all different. I know every situation is different, but advice from anyone here is welcome.

Heather

January 19, 2014 at 11:30 pm

I cheated on my then boyfriend and then broke up with him a few days later. I never told him that I cheated because that would crush him. I struggle with wanting him back and being okay without him. I don’t know what to do with my time anymore because we dated for two years and we had been friends for two years before that. I miss having someone to talk to but I don’t feel like I deserve to be with him especially since I cheated.

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