The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,582 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

R

April 24, 2016 at 5:55 pm

Okay, so here is my situation. My boyfriend and I dated for four years before he broke up with me in March. After our breakup talk, I went over there for a few days the next week where we slept together a few times but he was getting distant so I left and we haven’t talked since. I employed the NC rule for 32 days before mailing him a letter. Initially, I was planning to send a text and go through the ex boyfriend recovery stages like the ones suggested above but thought that maybe it was actually more productive for me to move on. However, I still felt like I had no closure so I wrote this letter basically telling him I wanted to say goodbye/get closure, that I was moving on, had no hard feelings, that I was proud of who he was (he struggles with self-esteem issues where he feels like he’s failing those around him), and that I was thankful for all of the time/memories we had had together. I ended it by saying if he wanted to be friends some day, he could reach out to me and that I wished him all the best. Its been 10 days since I sent the letter (so 42 days since he last talked to me and I initially began NC) and I think I really do want him back. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I don’t, that I want to move on, but I do. I’m not sure how I should proceed from here though since I sent a letter basically saying goodbye and more contact at this point might make me seem like a weak hypocrite. What do I do?

R

June 1, 2016 at 4:40 pm

I was in NC for 42 days before he initiated contact with his text and I waited four days to respond, so a total of 46 days of NC after the letter. I had also done 32 of NC before I sent the letter. During NC, I’ve been hanging out with friends, going on dates, picking up guitar, exercising a lot more, and working at a new job I really enjoy. I feel so much better than I did at the start which is why I’m okay with taking a more passive approach, letting him initiate contact if he wants, because even if he doesn’t at this point, I’m happy with where I am and where I’m going. (:
R

May 31, 2016 at 1:18 am

Okay so I was doing NC after the letter and I was planning to wait at least two months before reaching out. However, last Thursday my ex texted me saying he got my letter, had enjoyed reading it multiple times, appreciated my honesty and how I always tried to help him, and said he feels ready to meet up and would enjoy doing so. He also suggested that if I wanted to keep writing him he would really like that and that if I ever wanted to set up a day to talk I could call and reach out. I texted him back a couple of days later saying it was nice to hear from him and I thought meeting up was a great idea. We’re from the same hometown and, even though he’s out of town for the summer, he visits some weekends so I told him he could call me to set something up one weekend when he was home. I haven’t received a response and I’m wondering if, after waiting a couple of days to a week, if I should start using texts to build casual conversation and attraction before we meet. I’m not sure if I should be the one to plan the meet up now that I’ve put that responsibility on him. I put it that way because when we were together, he was very passive and I want him to continue taking initiative, like he did with his text response. What should I do?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 6:43 pm

Hi R,

yes you should do build up rapport before you meet. How many days were you in nc before you broke it? you should continue what you started in it to improve yourself.
R

May 8, 2016 at 4:44 am

Yeah, I’m planning to continue doing NC. I finished 30 days NC before reaching out with the letter and I’m proceeding to do another 30 days, if not more, of NC. I’ve already gotten a lot more comfortable by myself but I guess I want to make sure he’s okay because he seems like he’s in a really tough time in his life and I was really the only close friend he had so he’s dealing with stuff alone. I can’t help worrying about him, even though he’s the one who chose to end things and take away his only real confidante.
R

May 5, 2016 at 2:55 am

had said when we broke up that maybe we could talk about being together again sometime in the future but right now he thought our lives were going in different directions so it would be better just to break up even though he still really cares for me. But I think he’s just going through a period of panic and extreme pressure in his life because he’s about to graduate college with an engineering degree, his dad is really hard on him, he’s kind of depressed, and I think he’s trying to find out who he is, not who his family or anyone else wants him to be. He hasn’t said any of that to me but I just got the sense over the last few months that his life is really overwhelming him. Even if we don’t end up back together, I still want to be there for him because I was really his only close friend. Was sending the goodbye letter a mistake? Will it make me less of an “ungettable girl”? Is there a good chance that with some time apart he’ll want me back, since he still cares for me and since we didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 8, 2016 at 3:13 am

ok.. let’s move on from the letter… what’s more important is what you will do to be the ungettable girl… are you going to proceed to do 30 days nc? Because if yes, use that to be the ungettable girl.. focus on yourself and do new things, make new friends..

being the ungettable girl means having your own life and being ok if he wants to leave because you will understand and you’re not going to chase..
R

April 28, 2016 at 3:21 pm

How long should I wait before contacting him again? Do I revamp a 30 day NC Rule or should I wait longer and go for at least 2 months, if not longer? I’m just not sure how to proceed from here
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 8:45 am

wait for at least jut 30 days before trying to talk to him again.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2016 at 3:54 pm

Hi R,

Yeah, I think you should be consistent with the letter and let time pass before talking to him again. So, that when you message him, he would think that you’re just being friendly.. So, it would like a restart for the both of you.

Victoria

April 24, 2016 at 5:51 pm

Hello,
My boyfriend broke up with me a week ago. We had been dating for 4 1/2 years and were very serious. Of course, we had issues in our relationship, he never showed his emotions and also had trouble communicating about any issues we had. This in turn made me feel like he didn’t care about me and I became self conscious and paranoid. We had those issues from the beginning but it didn’t seem to get very bad until the last year or so. We had taken two breaks from each other before in our relationship but got back together within weeks or a month. But this time it was an actual breakup. Things had been shaky with us for a couple of months, I was preparing to move to a city 2 hours away for a job and he couldn’t come with me because of his job. I was fine with that and we were going to try a long distance relationship. He was scared of me leaving. He worried that I’d find someone else or that we’d grow apart. I always assured him that we wouldn’t. The month before he broke up with me was confusing. We would talk a lot about issues and the relationship and the distance and I knew he got tired of hearing about it but I always brought it up because I felt I needed to know where he stood and if he was going to still stay with me after I moved. He kept giving me mixed signals, saying that he didn’t want to break up and such and then cold turkey just broke up with me one day saying that he doesn’t think he can be the man I need. He said this breakup was permanent and when I asked him more about that he said that maybe in a few years if we’ve changed then we might get back together but as far as the next several months, no. We met two days later so I could get my things from his house and things webby great, we laughed and joked and I apologized for how things ended and asked if we could be friends again one day. He said for sure we could that he didn’t hate me and we left. I’ve started NC since then and plan to do it for at least 2 months since I feel like it situation was more severe. I am still on his phone plan and will have to meet him at some point in the future to fill out paperwork so I can leave his plan. I am going to try to hold that off for 2 or 3 months if I can. Do I have a chance of getting him back? I’m very scared that he is done with me for good.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2016 at 3:51 pm

Hi Victoria,

its’ ok to meet him for the phone plan during nc, as long as you don’t have a small talk and no talking about feelings and the relationships.. You don’t have to restart count from that.. I think you should focus on what he said and then what happened after.. He said it’s permanent and yet, he was open to friendship two days after.. So, nothing is permanent.. Think that after two months it would be a restart.. So, make the two months worth it so he can also see the change in you and see that as a restart from everything too.

Izzy

April 23, 2016 at 6:55 pm

Hi, I was wondering how to get my ex (who is now my friend) to respond to my text. I wanted to buy the texting bible but I didn’t have enough money. I want him to want to text me constantly instead of the other way around, is there anyway to get them to want to reply like a special way to start your text if so please let me know.

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2016 at 1:48 pm

you have to be valuable or present value for him to want to text you.. for example.. if he loves Games of thrones and he knows you know a lot about that or you love it too, he would probably want to talk to you about it.. if you’re doing an activity that he finds interesting he would ask you about it.. you have to be or have something interesting for him

Lourna LA

April 23, 2016 at 6:15 pm

Hi EBR Team!
I am reaching out because my situation is a little different than the usual I’ve dealt with. I was seeing a guy for about a year and a half and things were absolutely amazing, but I knew he was not ready to commit. He has never been in a relationship, and he is very analytical so I think he just sees committing right now as the end game and it concerns him. Because he also started coming to family functions recently. He told me the other day that this “seeing each other” thing had to end, without explanation and I was very hurt. Knowing I was hurt, the next day he opened up. He said that he loves me but what we’ve been doing hasn’t been healthy because he’s just not ready to commit, and that while he thinks it’s great that I want to wait for that, that he knows it affects me and he wants me to be able to be with someone who can commit at this time. He then continued to say that he doesn’t see it as being over, but as a different approach to our relationship. And that he feels we need to start fresh to be in a better place for each other, so we can give it 100% when we get to that. I should mention that we’ve had a very peaceful relationship, we’re on the page with many things and rarely argue, its been incredible and he treats me amazing. He wants to maintain open communication so we can build it to that point together, but this has left me confused about what I should really do. I really do love him and want it to work out but I don’t know where to go from here. Do I go out and see other people like he wanted for me or should i wait without so much saying I am doing that so he doesn’t feel pressured? Because I really do feel as if me waiting is making him feel rushed to get on that page and then he panics. Do I try and build it up with him from here, starting from scratch? Or use the NC rule and see other people until he is ready? I am worried that pushing him too far away will not help him get to where he needs to be to commit. Please help.

Lourna LA

April 25, 2016 at 3:03 pm

I should be specific that he wants to remain contact as friends though. And then when we are both in a better place (him), if we both still have feelings, we would pick things up where they left off.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 5:24 am

well that’s tricky you can end up being friendzoned.. YOu can try but it’s better if you do nc, to create space and make him miss you and to improve yourself.. Tell him you’re not ready emotionally to be friends right now but don’t tell him until when your nc is..
Lourna LA

April 25, 2016 at 2:32 pm

Yes that is what he said, but I am not sure what my next steps should be. I do love him and want him to come back and commit to me but I just don’t know how to go about it.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2016 at 1:20 pm

Hi Lourna La,

I not sure I get it.. Did he say he wants you to maintain talking so that you can build the relationship until it gets to the point that he’s ready to commit?

NODY

April 23, 2016 at 9:47 am

I think I lost him forever
my bf & I were in relationship for 8 month a serious one
we was friends before he tells me he loves me
we know each other for 3 years
a year ago he came & tell me he want me with him then he brake up because he think that my parent will refuse & had a money issue
we get back 8 month ago & my parent agree & we start a serious relationship to get married
but there’s a difficulties ( money & his school & he may go to military as requested in our country)
last month we had a many fights
I was so needy ,so clingy
we had fights so break for days & get back & get fight again
for a month he was in huge stress
last 2 weeks he break up with me because he’s not happy with me
I beg him a lot but he change his number & block me on facebook
I always beg him after every fight & he get back
but we get fight again
some fight in small things
but I think he is so stressed so he get upset for any word
I admit that I was wrong in most fights
I miss him , we have a great memory before
I was turned to someone I don’t like
needy
clingy
talking too much
I think I lost him forever
he’s the one who start the no contact & refuse to be friends
I don’t know what to do to get him back & be happy with me again
I feel hopelees
help me please

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 3:28 pm

Hi Nody,

you have to start with yourself first.. start nc to love yourself more and be more emotionally stable.. find yourself before entering a relationship.. a relationship is there as an addition to life.. not because it’s a neccessity to feel happy… for now, focus in you first.. once you’ve become independent,it will be easier to talk to him later on..

Nita

April 21, 2016 at 12:41 am

Hey! I started the nc over again 8 days ago. Things were going good and I even got him to talk about our relationship and actually get the real reason why he broke up with me. I followed the texting bible strategies and he told me that we never had a strong friendship in our relationship so he thinks we need to work on that before anything is decided and that he doesn’t want to talk about his feelings for me…. I’ve read a lot of people’s stories and it seems like my ex is sooooo different from everyone else… I don’t want to give up on trying to win him back even though he denied me after the first nc. Am I right for doing another nc period or should I try this whole friendship thing and actually contact him.

Nita

April 25, 2016 at 6:14 pm

I just found out today that my ex boyfriend got a gf…. We haven’t even been broken up for a whole two months and he’s with someone…… My heart is broken and I’m hurting so much… A part of me just want to give up now but I love him so much and I think whoever he is with is a mistake. I need advice, I have the ex recovery pro and texting bible, I’m so lost and hurt.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 6:04 am

Hi Nita,

It’s better if you restart nc.. 8 days was actually too short.. Don’t focus on them being together. She’s probably rebound. Focus on improving yourself during your 30 day nc.. YOu need it as a restart and to be more emotionally stable.
Nita

April 23, 2016 at 2:25 am

Thanks so much, that’s what I thought! I’m his determined on trying to get him back…. I really hope this works because I feel it in my heart that he’s the one
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 2:20 am

Hi Nita,

I think you’re right about restarting because you have to establish being the ungettable girl first before trying to rebuild rapport with him.. coz if you started to be friends now, you might be just friendzoned.

Isabel

April 20, 2016 at 11:35 pm

Hi I have miss my ex boyfriend a lot and I don’t know what to do. I broke up with him. 1 1/2 years ago over text. Since than we have become best friends like we were before we dated, the problem is he has feelings for my best friend even though she doesn’t like him at all he won’t give up. Just recently I’ve been trying to get out of the friend zone again but I feel I already burnt that bridge. I have texted him but he doesn’t seem interested in texting back, and to make matters worst my teacher asked him to tutor me. I have no idea what to do to get him back, not ruin our friendship (if it doesn’t work), and not to burn the bridge even more. Please help.

Isabel

April 23, 2016 at 6:58 pm

I don’t want to do limited no contact because since we have been friends so long I think he will feel as though he did something wrong or like I’m super mad at him. Is that what’s suppose to happen?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 25, 2016 at 1:57 pm

hmmm, ok, lets say you’re not going to do it deliberately.. you can’t keep being there because you need get out of the friendzone, try being busy with new activities…that way you’re not ignoring him just because you’re ignoring him.. it’s because you’re really busy.. and you will also grow.. You have to aim to be the ungettable girl..
check this post out. It’s about being the ungettable girl.
The Ungettable Girl
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 2:17 am

HI Isabel,

he finds her being the ungettable girl.. and literally since she doesn’t like him.. she’s challenging for him.. and then you’re friendzoned… do you want to try to do limited nc? You only meet for tutors but you build a new routine, do new activities, have a make over, make new friends, date others?

Ana

April 20, 2016 at 7:46 pm

Hi, Amor! I’m just asking for some advice, because other people tell me constantly that I have to move on. But I’m pretty sure that even in a new relationship I’ll be thinking about him. And I just have to try to win him back. So he has a new girlfriend, they’re dating around a month. 2 months ago I started NC, after that he was responding me distantly. Week ago (after 2 weeks of trying to build a bond between us) I decided to restart NC, but this time I’ll be waiting for his first message. It’s not easy to dating someone new, there will be fights between my ex a his new. Also I got that he texted to our best friend how I was doing while I was in NC. So will NC help me in my situation? We were dating for 3 years. Thank you! Your help really saves us all!

Ana

April 24, 2016 at 12:49 pm

How to prove that I really have changed? Because it seems like he doesn’t trust me for now:(
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2016 at 3:21 pm

You have to start doing things for yourself because he needs to see that you’re moving on and not chasing him because he’s going to protect his new gf if he sees you’re talking to him to get him back. You have to come from a point of view that you’re just being friendly, so when the girl gets jealous, he won’t agree and he will see her as being overly jealous. It’s going to be tricky so prepare yourself to accept if he chooses her… But remember, nobody chases a chaser.. So, keep that in mind whenever you get the itch of getting him back now. Set your standards so, the right people will come along. Be the ungettable girl, maintain yourself.. You had three years together, he will eventually compare you to her, so let your actions now help to make him see that you’re the better choice by being the better you.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2016 at 1:01 pm

Hi Ana,

if you restarted nc be very active now in posting your activities.. it’s your way of being present to him..

Sabrina Dawson

April 20, 2016 at 3:58 pm

My ex has OCD. This was partly the reason why he broke up with me, because it was hard for him to be intimate because of his obsessive thoughts about hygiene. I want to help him get the treatment he needs, but I am currently 8 days NC. Should I contact him, or wait after I’ve completed NC?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2016 at 8:17 am

Hi Sabrina,

if he really wants to get help, he’ll do that in his own will but if he really needs your help..you have to do that first instead of doing nc

DEESHI

April 20, 2016 at 2:39 pm

PLEASE READ THE EMAIL AND GIVE YOUR REVIEWS AND ANSWER MY 2 IMPORTANT QUESTIONS
Please help I want my ex boyfriend back desperately
We had a relationship of 3 yrs.
Yes we have had many on and offs (broken up almost like 10 times)but we always came back
I don’t doubt his love for me.
Yes he has lied to me many times but I never faught for anything and always would let things go. He would always promise me stuff and the break the promise.But this was just the bad part of the relation. When it came to the good ones we have made beautiful memories. He as well as I both were very serious with out relationship. My parents had agreed with our relation so has his parents.
We both are in our 2nd year of Degree college. My parents have decided to get me married in 2020
And he is of my age and still is struggling to come up in life and earn so that he can keep me happy that’s what all parents want too.
Yes he is always confused about everything. One side he will say he doesn’t want me other side he will love me like no1 else can in this world.
HOW DID THE BREAK UP HAPPEN:
in the month of Feb we had decided to study together for our final exams…We don’t share the same stream. And even before this during out junior clg we used to study together so we thout of it again…He was excited first then suddenly he said he can’t cause his mind his heart and all will be on me if we study together. Yes I did feel bad but I said ok np.
Then in d evening I called him to tell him I had passes in a text.. in a very wired manner he said congratulations I felt bad and told him abut my feelings he said sorry I cut the phone…He texted he was out with his mom to meet some pandit. So he couldn’t talk pprly I said k then after that.
No calls no texts.. usually he has a habit to call me after my clg he didn’t at night I sent him a good nite text he replied gn. I thought let’s leave him alone for sometime in the morning will text him I got up there was no text from him I asked him wats the matter HE SAID STAY AWAY. I got pissed when he said that cause I was tired with the on n offs n I agreed to it. Then 2 or 3 days he tried few times to talk I said I didn’t wana. Then we both didn’t talk to each other for a month. On 20th March 2016 he texted that he misses me and our common frnds were going to meet on that day so we meet.whole day he acted as if we were still in a relationship. He didn’t leave me even for a sec. He even came at my place when no one was home. Then at night when every1 left. I texted him. His reply was cold. And I understood he came back to his normal track where he would avoid me.
He kept telling me he is away cause he wants to come up in life and win me…He said he will be back in 3yrs but he can’t give a gaurantee coz he is scared what if he doesn’t earn well…and so he wants to keep me away from him for 3 yrs and then win me back.
Yes he is focusing on his career but he keeps wats dps wid girls and snapchat shows he is partying all the time..
Recently I had called him home to give a parcel he came home first asked me to hug him I told him give me one good reason I should hug you he said coz you are mine! He gave me a forhead kiss and hugged me so tight that I almost lost my balance. He said “it takes guts and lost of pain to make me hate you” he said he feels the same pain but he has to he also said “Dare you get weak in this time , I am gona stay away from you for now but I will be always standing besides you when you need me!” He said this kissed me and went…!!!its been a week he hasn’t called I guess he is enjoying his life.
I am really confused about his behaviour…is really want him back in my life I already took his as my husband when he told him he is already married to me during our relation!!! Should I wait for him for 3 yrs? Can I get him back? I don’t think I will be able to move on please help me get him back

DEESHI

April 23, 2016 at 1:50 pm

i had a word with him, he showed all his love to me…. we spoke about future also he told me even if he comes up in his life he isnt sure about coming back. he said he cant see the future , is really confused things between us are complicated .he also said “i am not telling you i am not coming back” he said he might turn up. he also expressed his feelings to me showed his concern too. from the time he has said this i have been very heart broken. i dont know why is he so scared to commit when i could truely see in his eyes he loves me. i dont know what is stopping him. why is he so confused
DEESHI

April 22, 2016 at 12:08 pm

thank you so much for replying,
i really dont want to loose him… he seems to be enjoying his life…. i know even i should do the same. he is keeping whats app dps with girls. No i stopped stalking him. i am off all social networking sites. i got to know about the dps from my friends. though my friends tell me he still cares for me in some way.
infact i tried to move on in every possible way in these 3 months… hanging out with friends, spending time with family, spending time with myself too…. but every time i ended up wanting him back.
i am confused whats going on in his mind will he come back? and this confusion leads to negative thoughts in my mind whether he truely loves me or no!!!…. Basically i am tired of chasing him and want him to chase me… but forget chasing he doesnt call me also he just wants to stay away even if he misses me. can you suggst me what steps should i take?…. cause its been 3 months and yes he has contacted me once or twice in these 3 months….. just want to try and things as they were
i want us to be like we were i dont know what should i do. and whatever you replied is completely true he wants the same thing you said. according to him if at all he doesnt come up in life then he wont come back and i can easily forget him cause of these 3 years. which i highly doubt i will. i need your suggestions before i push him more away.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 11:04 am

if you really want him to miss you, the greater chance of making that happen is living life like you moved on.. he will not miss somebody who he knows he can go back to anytime
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2016 at 7:44 am

Hi Deeshi,

it’s your decision if you will wait for three years.. if you want to, make sure after three years that if he’s still undecided you wile move on.. 3 years is too long to ask and he knows you will wait for him.. be fair to yourself too.. so in those three years be proactive for yourself, strive to be emotionally stronger and independent from him

Nisha

April 20, 2016 at 8:08 am

Hi Team,
I just want my boyfriend back. The problem started as my parents didn’t accept us to get married. He started feeling bad that he cant keep me happy as he still didn’t a good job and didn’t finish his arrears. It ended in breakup which i am not able to bear it. I miss him so badly because i madly loved him. I tried to speak with him many times but he ends up shouting at me and telling me to get lost. I just want him back. But i wish to marry him with my parents acceptance. I don’t have much time as my parents are forcing me to get married to the guy they choose. I don’t no how to make my boyfriend accept me again with the same love and care. I don’t no how to manage my parents and my whole family. My parents and my whole family are against my love. I feel like staying in hell and sometimes i even feel like to commit suicide. I wish to get married to him with my parents acceptance. Can you help me.

Nisha

May 31, 2016 at 10:13 am

Hai,
I was not feeling well for a week. Hearing that he became so tensed and as soon as he came to know he called me to know how I am. From the way he talked i could understand that he misses me so much. But he is not ready to accept it. Is there any way to motivate him indirectly. He is also trying to improve himself but he is so slow. He has to do it faster. In my house they are forcing me for marriage. Is there any way to stop this marriage indirectly because if my parents come to know that it was me who stopped the marriage then it will lead to a very big problem in our family.
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 31, 2016 at 5:21 pm

that’s hard.. The only way really is through your actions with your own life. The best people, attract the best and the worst, they just decide who they want to stay.
Nisha

April 27, 2016 at 5:42 pm

That’s the problem. I explained all these already to him. But he is telling the same that he can’t keep me happy so I must leave him. I tried many times. So he said lets breakup and he just went away. He shows only his angriness towards me because he thinks that i must leave him to get a happy life. If I try to explain more he blocks me. In this situation how can I get him back?
EBR Team Member: Amor

May 1, 2016 at 5:48 am

well, you can’t force him.. if you already explained that, that means he’s insecure and he has to work on himself or he’s just making an excuse but he really wants to breakup.. because it’s like he already accepted it.. if you beg it would push him away.. so only time can help.. you can still try nc and improve yourself, because maybe by then he will miss you.. but set your expectations.. if he doesn’t fight for you then it’s better to move on because you’ve done your part, he has to do his.
Nisha

April 27, 2016 at 8:59 am

No he can’t bare it. He is telling to get me married to the guy my parents see. But he told that if I get married I must not tell him as he can’t accept me with another guy. But he is telling that he can’t keep me happy because he is not able to get a job and it will take years for him to settle. Till that time he says he does not want me to wait for him and waste my life. He thinks to himself that he can’t do anything. I tried to take that negative feeling away from him but I failed. There is no other way I have. Because no marriage in my family is a love marriage. Every marriage was an arranged marriage. 🙁
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 27, 2016 at 9:49 am

Then assure him, that it’s ok to start at the bottom together.. That’s what partners do… I don’t know if you know Victoria Beckham and her husband.. but before her husband became famous, she stuck by him.. Tell him that life is a journey, and it’s not as if he won’t succeed.. He will, and besides it’s him that makes you happy. Not his job.. YOu’ll work on it together.. Tell him it’s him you need, not a big house. Why make things complicated? Just be together and then work on successes on the way
Nisha

April 24, 2016 at 5:42 am

Hi Armor,
They are forcing me to get married as soon as possible. If i accept they will finish my marriage within this month itself. But they are not ready to accept him on any basis. This is my situation. I want my boyfriend back. But bringing him back will take much time. They are not ready to give me time. But i am trying my best to take my own time. I also care for my parents. I am their only daughter. As i am not accepting my mom she starts crying and she feels too much and because of this her health is getting affected.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 26, 2016 at 12:28 pm

oh that’s a hard one.. is there any other way in your culture?or ask him if he really can bare you marrying a different guy.. I’ll ask Chris for further assistance but if you could, talk to some friends who managed to buy time before marrying
Nisha

April 23, 2016 at 10:43 am

Hi AMOR,

I tried all my ways to convince my parents. But I did not succeed. I am from India. Whatever I say they never understand me. they say what they do is only the right thing and i am wrong. We were in love for three years. actually we are of different religion and he is one year younger to me. He is a HINDU and I am a CHRISTIAN. This is the main reason our parents don’t accept. My parents and family are fully against this and they force me to get married to the guy they see. As I didn’t accept they took me to a psychiatrist telling that i am mentally depressed. Seeing all these things my lover said, “I am not able to bear all these things they do to you so hear what they say and be happy. I can’t keep you happy as i am still jobless. I want you to be happy so just leave me and go. But please if you get married to another guy please don’t tell me and just get lost from me. Don’t waste your life for me.” This is what he told and broke up. I tried to speak with him but he shouts at me as he thinks i must go away from him. I am helpless. What can I do. Please help me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 4:03 pm

don’y say you’re helpless..because if you come from that mindset, you would less likely come up with a solution.. you said you wished to get married with your parent’s acceptance? so that means you can marry him, but they will be angry? and also, when do they plan to get you married?
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 22, 2016 at 6:07 am

Hi Nisha,

talk to your parents first.. try to make them understand.. if they don’t really want him then at least don’t force you to get married. If it’s in your culture, maybe try to bargain about it.. Let’s say ask for time.. When did you broke up?

Meggi

April 19, 2016 at 3:17 am

Hi, i just broke up with my bf but our relationtionship ia a long distance relationship. Do you think if i following most steps, would it work for me too? And other question, what should i do with all the picture with him on the social media? Should i take it all down?

Meggi

April 21, 2016 at 4:19 pm

He said that he still love me but its just too hard for him too keep doing the long relationship thing. Idk, its hard for me too but i love him too much thats why i never give up. Why did he? I still dont understand
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 23, 2016 at 5:09 am

do you have time and money to see each other for at least once a month and a plant to be together? Because if not, it will really be hard to keep a long distance relationship
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 9:17 am

Hi Meggi,

nope dont take it down.. why did you break up?

Hannah

April 18, 2016 at 3:44 pm

Hi Team.
I need major help. I think I’ve completely ruined my chances of getting my ex boyfriend back….
It’s been almost 2 months since my ex boyfriend broke up with me. I did no contact for 3 weeks, felt great, and established contact with him. We’ve cleared the air about everything and are friends. I don’t want to be just friends with him, but I agreed to it anyway. He makes 95% of the contact first. We hang out about once a week. Things have been great.
Today I don’t know happened, I let my emotions take over me and just texted him like crazy talking about the relationship, why he didn’t try to make things work etc….He was very responsive, he tried to make me feel better, but I could also tell he was getting annoyed because he stated i shouldn’t be feeling like this still….
I feel so stupid, pathetic, and mortified. I don’t want him to think I’m still emotional and hung up on him and doing all that just blew everything up now..I really have been good, keeping busy and all that. I don’t know what came over me. He still agreed to going out this Wednesday like we originally planned so maybe that’s a good sign?
How do I get back to him thinking I’m fine without him? How do I increase my chances again of him thinking I’ve changed and I’m better?

Hannah

April 18, 2016 at 11:00 pm

Yeah, i apologized for acting that way and he said it was all good he just doesn’t want me sad that’s all.
I was surprised he still said yes to hanging out after that. Should i reject his invitation to go out next time to recover from that crazy moment? I feel like me doing that just ruined all my hard work.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 7:54 am

if he asks you, that’s your chance to redeem yourself.. to make a dofferent impression about you when you go out
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 6:01 pm

Hi Hannah,
It’s ok, that’s bottled emotion.. I think it helps if you write down so it doesn’t happen again.. It’s good that you’re still meeting up.. Just have fun, so he would want to see you again… no heavy talk.

Krista

April 18, 2016 at 12:26 pm

Hey, thank you for responding.
So yes. I did no contact for 11 days (I was planning on doing 30) and he messaged me sounding interested in getting me back. So I responding back on day 11 of NC.
The first 3 days were awesome we were happy and talking no problem and it felt normal again. Then it went downhill. He said he didn’t want a relationship, and he was worried about what people would think if we got back together. I started to feel like a ‘cushion’ till he found another relationship. So on Friday I stopped speaking to him (day 5 of contact) and he freaked. I stopped talking due to the fact I did not believe he was taking us seriously and we weren’t getting anywhere. I was putting a lot of effort forth and he didn’t seem to care at all. (note: we are long distance and are used to talking to each other every day). Was that a smart idea on my part to stop talking? Probably not. But I wasn’t sure what to do 🙁
So on Friday he said some very rude stuff and told me that he started talking to someone just that day.
I know he still cares because he stated that even when he was being rude at me through text message. However he told me to move on since he was trying to move on himself and that we are just hurting each other.
I brought two books this weekend from this website Ex Boyfriend Recovery PRO and the Texting Bible. I plan on going through them when I get a chance.
However, is it possible he moved on that quick? To be honest he does not have much game although he is funny and can be a sweet guy.
What chance do I really have? I still want to try…but if he already is possibly talking to another girl…
Honestly what do I do?

Also, thank you for taking the time to read all this and response. It is really helping me through all this.

Krista

April 19, 2016 at 12:59 pm

Even though he said he was uninterested in a relationship with me and found a possible new girl already? Maybe I haven’t read enough articles, but he was being wishy washy with me last week when we were talking as friends. And usually wishy washy is not a good sign.
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 21, 2016 at 10:17 am

he mire probably said that out of emotion.. and he got angry because in his mind, both if you were ok but then you just suddenly stopped talking… Give him the benefit of the doubt..weigh your options first so you won’t decide based on negative assumptions quickly.. talk calmly first if you can so there are no misunderstandings..it’s better if you clear things first before trying to do nc
EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 5:18 pm

Hi Krista,

You need to talk to him.. tell him what you feel but don’t come from a begging or pitiful position.. Just explain.. because I think he just said that because he was pissed.

Goldilocks

April 18, 2016 at 5:27 am

Thanks for your answer. What do you think I should do?! Keep seeing him as a friend hoping he will be ready in the future?! And in the meantime work on myself to heal and show him the best of myself?!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 2:27 pm

I think it’s better if you do nc instead of staying as friends

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 2:02 am

Hi Goldilocks,

if he’s still not ready in the relationship, adding the distance as a factor, it may not work.. He has to be in the same page with you for the relationship to work.
Megan

April 17, 2016 at 3:44 pm

So my boyfriend and I were in a relationship for almost a year. However the past few months we have been on and off because he started to catch feelings for this other girl (Probably because he is around her a lot but no offense was not nearly as good looking as me). Then whenever we got back together I kept getting angry that he wouldn’t stop talking to her so I broke up with him a few times because of that but he has always begged for me back and we’ve gotten back together. At first whenever I broke up with him he would say something along the lines of that’s fine I’m less interested in you anyway if you’re gonna act like this but later but miss me. This time I did the NC rule but ended it a bit early because he texted me that he was visiting the city and wanted to move there. I really didn’t want to end it early but I felt like I would be rude and it might make him not want to move to the city if I didn’t respond. Since we have had a few text conversations that have gone really well and he was very responsive. However I was visiting some of my younger friends at a track meet yesterday which he was also at. He came up to me when I was with my friends and was very friendly but I kinda felt like I was giving him the cold shoulder most of the time. I tried to find him later to talk to him but he left to go to work. Later during the meet I did catch him looking at me quite a bit but never approached me (I was looking really good too). I later texted him saying I was sorry for kinda being cold to him I was just busy with my friends and got no response. Then I snapchatted him twice later that day which he also had no response to which was unusual cause he has been very responsive to me lately. I feel like acting like I have no interest in him when I saw him face to face has ruined my chances of getting back together with him cause he was acting like he was interested in me when we were contacting each other on the phone but now I feel like he’s not as interested anymore or angry at me. Now I really don’t know what I should do next to try to get him back. Any advice on that would be great! Thank you!

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 1:22 pm

Hi Megan,

if you were having good texts then suddenly ignoring, it means you’re giving mixed signals..but at least you already texted him and apologized.. of he doesn’t reply then it’s a good time to restart nc…be very active during nc..because it will be useless if you won’t

Jill

April 17, 2016 at 3:10 pm

Hello,

My boyfriend broke up with me about 3 weeks ago and since then I’ve been trying to use the no contact rule but it only lasted about a week. He’s currently been on vacation for the past week and half and is coming back the day of my birthday (next week). during his vacation time he has reached out to me 3-4 times and sent texts that he hopes I’m doing well, asking what i want for my birthday, see you soon when i get back, and just random things to start conversation. i don’t know if this is a sign that he’s thinking of getting back together or he wants to be friends. he also sent me something i didn’t really like when he was drunk.. “you mean so much to me and you’ll always have a place in my heart” …??? this that friend zoning..? and is there any way of telling if a guy is a friend zoning you or wants you back through messaging? I invited him to my birthday event next week and he said he would love to come but I’m feeling nervous about this…im so confused as to if he wants to be friends or wants me back and I’m too afraid to confront him. what should i do in this situation?

thank you for your help 🙂

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 1:12 pm

Hi Jill,

it’s leaning more on friendzoning you.. he has to say it or show more if he wants you back

Coral

April 17, 2016 at 1:24 pm

My boyfriend dumped me two months ago. I tried NC for a month but made the mistake of briefly texting him in-between where I gave him a brief update saying I am doing well (he messaged me several times saying he misses me which I ignored. ). One issue is he has my spare access card which I kept with him incase I get locked out ( more out of convenience). Recently he messaged me to return some of his tupperware (very rudely) and I briefly spoke to him while returning his things in a friendly way. But now I see him post pictures things with another girl which he might be dating (I try not to keep track or ask his friends about such things). Now I am not sure if I should go back to NC and restart the process after taking my access card back or go ahead and meet him over coffee etc?

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 12:30 pm

Hi Coral,

it’s better if you do no contact..but you have to make worth it this time because the more you do it, the less it’s effecr

Valerie

April 17, 2016 at 10:31 am

Hello. My boyfriend and I broke up 3 days ago. He is 13 years older than me. He told me that I didn’t do anything wrong but he feels like he is way too older than me and that if we continue our relationship he might end hurting me more because he will be busy of his business now and that he might not find time for me. I cried a lot and beg him not to let go of me. I always cry everytime we fight. He thinks that I’m so weak and a little bit of immature. I really love him so much. I want to get him back. We talked that after 1 month I will message him and meet up with him. He gave me 2 choices either to accept our break up or be strong enough and love enough myself first and show it to him when we meet. But I don’t how will I show it to him that I’m strong enough to handle our relationship. And that I really want him back. Anyway he is a korean and I’m a filipina. He told me that he is looking forward to my changing. What does it mean? Do we still have the chance to get back??

EBR Team Member: Amor

April 18, 2016 at 9:14 am

Hi Valerie,

it means you have to be independent and ready to walk away when the relationship is not working for you.. You have to avoid being clingy and have a life of your own..

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