The Definitive Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

8,583 thoughts on “The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Darshini

November 15, 2013 at 12:39 pm

He said he cant see any future because of our issues and later he got confused about what he felt for me. I held on to him begging and crying for 3 months but eventually he did not change his mind to stay with me. So one day i asked him to do whatever he wants and i will accept it. After this, he dint call for a week so i understood he so t want me. Now after 10 days, he has started commenting on my pictures and he caller my friend to say he does not feel anything for me but feels guilty if what he did to me.also he called me once and cut it before i pick up and when i texted him back, he said he called me to wish me luck for my exams. I dont understand what he wants but i am following the no contact rile since 10 days. Are there any hopes that he still has feelings for me and wants to get back or is it all just because of his guilt?

admin

November 15, 2013 at 8:09 pm

Yes there is hope just be patient.

Stephanie

November 15, 2013 at 9:31 am

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 5 days ago. We met through university, back then I was 19 and he was 20. Since the beginning of this year, we would have talks (and me crying) and the talks include us being different people such as: he’s an extrovert and I’m an introvert, he’s really sociable and has many friends and I’m a stay-at-home person with 2 closest friends. This lead me to depend on him, emotionally and mentally.

We do have mutual college friends but I’ve always felt they were more of his friends because he went out with them alot. He’d invite me and I’d politely decline. Throughout this cycle, I eventually couldn’t help but feel jealous. I felt he was having a better time with them than with me. He assured me that he loves me and that even though he does have a good time, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have an amazing time with me.

Last week, the day before he was going out with them (on Friday) and we had lunch together (on Thursday). I gave him the silent treatment, not making eye contact, not hugging/kissing. He knew what was going on but didn’t know what to say/do during the awkwardness.

Later that evening, I left his apartment because I didn’t know how to deal with my awkward emotions. We didn’t hug goodbye and had a brief peck on the lips. Few hours later, I texted him to see if we could talk. He said he was at a friend’s apartment getting ready to go out. At that moment, I was really annoyed. I know it was my fault too, like I shouldn’t have given him the cold shoulder. We agreed to Skype the next morning.

Saturday morning, we were ready to talk on Skype. I was at my peak of emotions. I said things that I didn’t mean even though they were the truth such as, “we’re too different”, “we’re not compatible”, “sometimes I think we should just break up”, “it breaks my heart everytime I see you talking to them”. Obviously he knew we were having this “talk” again and said we need to think things over the weekend.

Monday morning we’re in university, had our talk and he basically said, “I don’t see us working, we’re constantly coming back to talking about this. I don’t see a future of us together and we’re going to have different goals in life. Right now we won’t be able to spend time was much because of exams”. I told him of course I understand the exams part because its our final year, and that every couple has different goals but even so they’d try things out (he wants to do medicine, I might be doing a Masters). I said if we love each other we give it another chance, he said no. I asked if he still loves me, he said no. He couldn’t even make eye contact with me until I asked for it (we held it for 5 seconds, I still looked at him but he turned the other direction). Then I asked if there’s a chance of us getting back together and he said, “Maybe, I don’t know because I’m focused on what’s happening now. I don’t want you to wait for me though”. I asked if we could stay friends and he doesn’t know. I was heart broken and couldn’t understand how you can stop loving someone you’ve been with for 2 years in the space of 2 days. He was getting ready to go, I asked for one last hug and he didn’t want that. He walked off, not looking back as I sat there crying.

I’m on day 5 of NC. I still go to lectures despite us being in the same course/lectures/labs. He hasn’t come to lectures since the break up, but I do purely because I need to concentrate on exams and take down notes. I see him at labs, and we avoid each other. I asked a mutual friend how he’s doing and she (she has a boyfriend of 3 years, they also met through university) said, “He’s really sad. He can’t face you if you were in the same room, how would you feel?”. I said, “I’m here because I can do it and if I were to see him, I’d ignore him”. She thinks I’m stronger than him in that way.

Our lectures are finishing and I’m getting worried he doesn’t have the notes to study for exams. Should I text him, “Hey hope you’re ok. If you need the notes let me know”. I don’t love him anymore. Ok well there’s 15% left. Thanks for reading.

admin

November 15, 2013 at 7:51 pm

I think it would be ok to text him that 🙂

jouj

November 15, 2013 at 8:40 am

I have a major break up complication! I will be as brief as possible! We were best frndz for 6 years. Dated for 1.5 years! One day he is discussing a serious commitment and marriage a week later he breaks up with me! I refused to talk to him for 2 weeks then I answer n agree to meet up.he said his family is against us and he wants me to be patient while he try to work things out with them.it drags to 3 months! He kept avoiding talking about it.. until one day I insist on discussing where we are at. Are we together or not. He says I need to focus on my work and career for the coming 3 years! He asked me to wait, I told him I can wait but while we both r in a relationship.. he said he doesn’t want to give me promises! I refused and walked away! Kept ignoring his phone calls for 3 weeks. We ran into each other at this party.. i acted like i’m so cool with it.. he got mad that I was ok with us being away! I told him let’s not talk and be distant to think straight for at least a month.. 2 weeks later he calls me again! He keeps saying he loves me and misses me and doesn’t want to lose me!

My question is… if he doesn’t want a relation why does he keep popping up?????

PS I come from a culture where family approval is quite crucial to a relationship.. n its not ok to date for too long without a commitment.

admin

November 15, 2013 at 7:41 pm

B/c maybe deep down he wants to keep that option of a potential relationship open.

Tyler

November 15, 2013 at 4:07 am

Hi Chris,

I’d like to tell you my situation and have your feedback. So my ex broke up with me about two weeks ago. He said it was because he wanted to be independent but I found out the real reason was he wanted to date this girl he cheated on me with. He started dating her five days after breaking up with me. He said he would ask me out if they didnt work out but he didnt. She broke up with him last night. He says he just wants to be friends and he is happy he broke up with me. He said our relationship was good, but it was a little confusing and his feelings changed. I do believe he also got bored and found me less attractive towards the end of our relationship. Even though he cheated I still want to be with him. My reason being is that I love him. We were together for a year. We know everything about each other. I trust him a lot still. I got along well with his family. We were able to work out any arguments. I was utterly happy. I feel happy just being next to him. I love making him smile. Also, I still see a future with this boy. I am willing to accept our differences, in fact, I already do. We’ve brought out a lot of good things in each other. I am not saying our relationship was perfect, I know it wasnt. And I know that there were things on my end that needed to change. I have thought them over and I am now adressing these issues I have. This is someone I care about dearly. I want to see him be the best he could be and I want to witness him succeed in life. I just really want to be by his side as his significant other in the process. If we do get back together, I dont ever want to break up with him. I admire him and appreciate him so much. I dont ever want to hurt him or make him sad. If we do get back together, I dont want the relationship to go back to what it was, I want it to be better, and even more amazing. We rushed it, but this time, I want to take it real slow. Just date, and text, and see each other here and there. Love each other in the moment and not talk about the future.

As of right now we are friends. He said he only sees me as a friend he can talk to and hang out with. He doesnt think we will ever get back together. He said he will still attend prom with me in April, and he will come to my graduation in May. I am scared to do the NC Rule because I am scared of becoming a nobody to him. I want to stay important. But after hearing my story, if there’s a good chance I can get him back using your method, I am willing to. I’ll do anything. I am determined to make it work this time. If I cant get him back, I know I’ll still stand by this person as a trustworthy friend, because I love him in my life.

I am supposed to see him tomorrow just to hang out. Right now I think he has bad blood towards me because of everything that happened. I am also seeing him Sunday to give his little sister her birthday present, then he and I are planned to go jogging together.

What steps should I take at this point?

I would also really, really, immensely appreciate it if you could email me and I keep in contact with you? I commented here before and I can’t find my post. I want to make sure I actually see your reply and advice.

Thank you so much for your time.

-Tyler

admin

November 15, 2013 at 6:52 pm

I have had to stop emailing people unfortunately. Theres just way too many for me to get to. But if you want to keep in touch you can contact me here in the comments.

Have you read the what to do on a date guide?
Tyler

November 18, 2013 at 5:52 pm

Hello Chris,

Can you send me a link for the What to do on a date guide?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:32 pm

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-to-do-on-a-date-with-your-ex-boyfriend/
Tyler

November 20, 2013 at 6:35 am

He cheated on me with one girl. I accidentally put a plural. He cheated on her twice with me. So she dumped him. He wants her back, I want him back. Right now we are good friends. I still.go.over his house, we still laugh and talk. As I said on Sunday we even cuddled and we greet each other with cheek kisses. He doesnt do that with anyone else. If and when he does get over her, how do I show him I am the better option? Ive forgiven him, I am here for him, still trying to make him happy. He says he cant see himself being with me though. Ill check out that link you attached right now. Ill keep you updated. Thabks for following alo ng with me. Pleace give me any thoughts or feedback you may have. Thanks Chris.
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:49 pm

Definitely keep me updated.
Tyler

November 18, 2013 at 6:16 pm

Oh, and these days already happened.
Friday I went over and practiced Guitar,
His brother wanted to hang out with me for a bit,
My ex suggested finishing a movie that we hadnt when we were dating.
Saturday I saw him during his break.
We had lunch, then went over to his house to grab things.
Yesterday I brought hia sister hercard and cupcakes,
No one was home, so we hung out, and practiced dancing for prom. He initiated the slow dancing. It was a lot of fun. Im surprised he enjoyed it.
After that we began talking. He knows Im trying to get back with him. He said he is trying to get back with the girls he cheated on me with. (She and I are friends now actually, she reallydoesnt want to be with him. Ahe made that clear.) So he and I are in the same boat. Triangle. I want him, he wants her, she doesnt want him, he doesnt want me.
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:36 pm

Lovely… what a lovely triangle.

Again, how many girls did he cheat on you with?
Tyler

November 18, 2013 at 6:23 pm

Commenting on here is tough.

Anyway, after the talk, some things were said and I started crying. I cried om his bed. Surprisingly he came to.comfort me. He covered me with the blanket, then came under them with me. He pulled me closer and we cuddled. Just layed there talking. At the end of the night, we established kissing each other on the cheek before we leave. So thatll be something we do from now on? Idk… After that I walked him to his friends, said bye=more cheek kisses. When I got home I called my new friend aka the girl he cheated on me with. She wants us back together, she wished me luck and offered any help she can give, which I dont think is anything. Will he get over her? And when he soes, do I have a chance? She made it very clear that she doesnt want a relationship with him. But he’s still trying? Sort of like me right now? Do you possibly know what he’s thinking maybe?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 5:42 pm

He will get the hint eventually BUT you need to work to show him that you are the better option. If you can’t do that its unlikely he will see you as the one.

HH

November 14, 2013 at 10:44 pm

could u please delete this comment after giving me some advice?

HH

November 14, 2013 at 11:06 pm

sorry for this comment again…i hope didn’t rube you the wrong way about wanting to delete the long previous comment i am just nervous of it being out there if you know what i mean…
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:57 pm

Ok I removed it.
HH

November 15, 2013 at 11:51 pm

Thank you so much…just wondering if you had any advice for me and was wondering if this reply from you was for me or not? And if so he contacted me because there was a shooting at my work yesterday just to say he is glad that no one got hurt….what do u mean work like what kinda of work? and i am going to start the no contact now (and i did reply to is text last night to tell him i was ok) Thank you so much for your advice!!! I really do appreciate it
admin
November 15, 2013 | 5:56 pm
I don’t think its hopeless.

But I do think it will require some work.

Can I ask you if you have ever done a full 30 day NC period?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:27 pm

I have and I have mentored a lot of women who have done it with great succeess.

Coco

November 14, 2013 at 5:37 pm

Hi Chris!
I waited two weeks to talk to my exboyfriend like you told me. I sent him a text saying guess what? And told him how I got a friend we have in common addicted to the show game of thrones. It’s his favorite show as well as mine. I told him if he remembered the times when we would talk about the show and how we were always waiting for the next episode to come out. Then suddenly I remembered he has my book of GOT. I lied and told him my friend wanted to read it. He replied “ok. I will give you back the one I have when you want it.” I just told him “when you finish reading it you can give it back to me :)” I finished the conversation as you said in your post I should do… But I have no idea what else to do… Should I wait a few days to contact him again? Or… What should I do after this? Try to engage him on some other conversations of what we used to do together?

Thank you for you help.

admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:14 pm

Game Of Thrones = GOT

Please tell me thats what you meant.

Yes wait a few days to contact him again.
Coco

November 15, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Yeah I meant Game of Thrones hahaha one of the best shows I’ve seen.

Normally how many days should I wait to contact him. Like every 3 days, a week? And should I engage him in other conversation trying it make him remember the good times we had before asking him to meet me?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 7:38 pm

Yes Mam. The red wedding completely took me by surprise. If you have read the books don’t spoil anything for me. I am not reading them because I am enjoying the show so much.

No just at the beginning you want the spacing. eventually you want to be talking every day but you have to kind of lead up to that.

maggie

November 14, 2013 at 5:36 pm

we have almost all friends in common. (yeah, i know, great conditions to keep NC rule but i’m hanging there;) should i ask them not to tell my ex what i was doing, who i was hanging out with etc?

admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:13 pm

No I wouldn’t sometimes its good for your ex to get updates to get jealous.

Anonymous

November 14, 2013 at 5:01 pm

We dated for 6years, he broke up with me in april because he says i dindt trust him enough. I am in love with him still, we dont see or talk often anymore and he says he’s dating another girl now.
How do i get him back as i truly love him and it has been 7 months since we broke hope?
Is there any hope?

admin

November 14, 2013 at 8:20 pm

I think there is but there is no guarantees you will get him back.

Lyn

November 14, 2013 at 10:49 am

Hi! I’ll start a new thread , our last thread is getting longer.

After me and my ex bf broke up, we had this conversation wherein we had an agreement that i can win him back. In short, he knows i’m winning him back. In your opinion if you were at his shoes where you broke up with ur gf and then you had a talk that she can try to win you back, why would you do that?? Are you playing? Are you confused or what?

Lyn

November 15, 2013 at 8:47 am

Do you think he is confused about the break up iif he really wants it or not?
He said i could surprise or persuade him. Is it ok to try that?
admin

November 15, 2013 at 7:50 pm

Yes but I would wait a while to do that and I wouldn’t do it the way HE wants it done.
Lyn

November 16, 2013 at 7:36 am

You mean 30 days of NC before doing anything to get him back even though he’s expecting it? I think you are right. But would he think that i’m giving up if he is expecting it and i’m not doing anything?
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:04 pm

Yes thats what I mean.
Lyn

November 17, 2013 at 2:48 pm

My ex bf texted if i already thought about what i want or if i want more time. Should i reply to this?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:04 pm

Only if you aren’t in NC anymore.
admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:49 pm

Most likely confused.

Jaci

November 14, 2013 at 10:13 am

Hey Christian I really love the advice you’ve given above. I dont know whether I should really classify my relationship with this guy as a break up. We had a good thing going for three months and one day he just got so distant and busy at work. He would go a whole day without calling or texting and when he did call,he’d cut the conversation and say he would call when he got home or in the morn which he never did. He called once after four days and said he was sorry that he was going through a hard time at work and that the grandma wasn’t feeling well,I explained that he had to learn to communicate with me. He cut short the conversation again saying he’d call me and we’d talk about it later. The next day I called him and he actually cut the conversation again. It felt like he was hanging up on me. I was really angry,and I thought it was a really abusive and controlling behaviour so I told him off and cut communication.
It’s been a month one week now and I miss him sooooo much,I want him back. I feel he’s my forever and I might have lost him. PLEASE HELP ME!!

admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:45 pm

Have you implemented a NC at all?
Jaci

November 15, 2013 at 6:00 am

Yes….it’s been 37days now…no communication at all.
admin

November 15, 2013 at 7:24 pm

Well you can contact him now.

Lee

November 14, 2013 at 2:22 am

So I’ve been trying to follow The Magic of Making Up (which I feel like you’ve read judging by some of the things you said in here).
We were together for 2 years. We were both about to move to the same city and university, but two days before the move he decided to break it off. He said a lot of things, but the most important being that he didn’t want a girlfriend anymore and he was sick of arguing.
So now we are both living here in a new city. I implemented to NC rule and (contrary to what YOUR article said to do) I called him and asked if he wanted to go to lunch the following week. During NC he did not contact me once, and I did NC for 7 weeks. He said yes to my proposal and we went to lunch for about an hour. I looked my best and was in the positive mindset.
He seemed happy with his college life and didn’t seem to care much about me anymore. I feel like he is just indifferent toward me. I don’t know what my next move should be at all, but we had a really awesome relationship and I feel like there has to be some way to ignite the spark again. What do I do at this point?

admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Have you read this guide: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-definitive-guide-to-making-your-ex-boyfriend-love-you-again/

holidaygirl

November 13, 2013 at 8:51 pm

Hi, could really use an opinion on this

I had planned on sending my first atb text tomorrow as its been 48 days since we were last in contact , I’m in a much better place emotionally, I’ve been doing loads to make my life better and happier, going out, dating(that was a hard one), sorting out debt I’m in, a few home improvements, changing my look, and finally learning to drive, I feel great, to all those that are feeling a bit hopeless like I was a few weeks ago, this goes to show you can feel better :).

So I was ready to put my plan into action and get my ex back by sending my first atb text but I’m now starting to think that Friday will be a better day for the following reasons
the day before I would have been on a 3rd date and also on my first 2 hour driving lesson, will be my 8th lesson( going well and enjoying it).
Friday is payday – I’m getting my hair done, buying some new dresses and shoes to go with my new look and a few more things for the house.
So as you can see even though I’m already in high spirits come Friday afternoon I’ll be feeling even better.

My atb text is – just sorted through some boxes and came across the mini golf scorecard from that place we went to in Dublin, made me smile, was a fun day. Hope your doing great :), not sure wether to leave the smiley.

He’ll be in work (10am -9pm), he might also tell the girls in work that I text, they’ll say it’s nice (always helpful), and if all goes to plan I’ll get a positive response (ever optimistic).

I’ll be going out in the evening so will have 2 options with the next text, if he replies before I go, I can say ’ just heading out, more later :), again not sure about the smiley, he likes them i just don’t wanna come off as overly keen.

If he replies after I can wait till the next day and say ’ sorry I missed your text, was out…. Will add more to this but that depends on what he texts.

What do you think, replies and any opinions are greatly appreciated.

Also good luck to all of you.

Xxx

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:29 pm

Def use the smiley!

You want to come off as pleasant and happy.

I like your plan I say go for it and tell me what happens I am really interested.
Anonymous

November 16, 2013 at 11:48 am

So i sent the text, yesterday at 7pm, got no response, am I little disappointed, what do you think?.
admin

November 16, 2013 at 10:14 pm

Wait a few more days to see if he response. If not wait a week and try again.
holidaygirl

November 17, 2013 at 5:01 pm

So it took him 24 hours but he responded and I think the text was a real positive response, he remembered the day, brought up something else that was good about the day and asked how I was.

Is it bad that I got really excited, I’ve been talking to other guys but I defiantly got more excited when he text :).

Also was I right in not texting back last night, it did take him 24 hours and I was on a night out with the girls, think its better that he knows I’m out having fun and not waiting around for his texts, is this right?

And as its still the weekend and I could still be busy having fun am I right waiting till tomorrow to text him back or am I leaving it to long?

Really appreciate all the help.

Also good luck to everyone on here, this system as helped me not in just getting in touch with my ex and getting the response I did but it as also changed me into a much more confident person :).

Thanks Chris 🙂
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:50 pm

No its defintely not bad.

Hey glad things are progressing for you
holidaygirl

November 18, 2013 at 12:30 am

Thought about sending the following reply, ‘well I had to beat you at something lol, thanks for joining me on that, was a good laugh. I’m great thanks :), glad your ok to’.

Or should I leave that last part.

Also what could I add to get a response so that I can send another text to end the conversation.
admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:11 pm

No I think its solid actually!
holidaygirl

November 18, 2013 at 8:08 pm

So I sent that text but also added, Heading for some food with a friend. Hope you enjoy the rest of your day :).

What do you think?
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:01 pm

Hmm… interesting tactic.. let me know how it goes.
holidaygirl

November 17, 2013 at 10:10 pm

Thanks 🙂

do you think I’m right in texting tomorrow, so it’ll look like I’ve been busy all weekend?, I actually have as well lol.
admin

November 18, 2013 at 5:59 pm

I do think you are.
Anonymous

November 16, 2013 at 8:41 pm

Scrap that it took him 24 hours but he responded with the following text. ‘ lol, was a good day, you kicked my ass on the dance machine, yeah i’ more good, how’s things your end?, does this class as a positive response, was thinking it was because he mentioned something else from the day, also he’s a man’s man so was a big deal him going on something so girly but he didn’t cause of wanted to.

Is it bad that I’m really excited about this :).

Also am I right in not texting him back tonight, he didn’t rush so I shouldn’t, and also I’m on a night out and want to him to know I’m busy having fun and not waiting round for his text?
admin

November 17, 2013 at 6:58 pm

I think you are. Stick to your guns and trust your gut.

Jennifer

November 13, 2013 at 7:55 pm

I am truly grateful for this article. This will hopefully help me in the way that I need it to, as far as He and I getting back together after him breaking up with me. We currently live together, which makes it really hard for me. Especially when we break tradition/habit. Not holding eachother at night, and he leaving the house at random hours and showing up late and stuff like that…. I really do want him back… I guess I have to start with the 30 day no contact, which is hard when we are living together.. but according to your article I should just treat him as a roommate and stay as positive as possible, always smiling when he is around. and also i think he is talking with other women, which is hard for me to accept, but you also say that they are probably just booty calls, and he will hopefully see what he is missing out on, by not being with me. Any other suggestions, in specifics to my live-in situation?
Thanks!! I really appreciate it! 🙂

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm

Well, mostly just realize that this is not going to happen overnight. Be very patient.
Jennifer

November 18, 2013 at 11:54 pm

Okay, Thanks!! Keep writing! You are an inspiration!
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Hey, you ladies are the reason I keep writing so it’s all good!

Nancy

November 13, 2013 at 6:41 pm

My ex is very stubborn and probably wont even notice the nc. If I do not hear from him over the next 30 days does that mean he doesnt care and does not want me back?

admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:05 pm

No it just means he is stubborn. I talk about this in the male mind in NC guide.
Nancy

November 14, 2013 at 3:10 am

He messaged! Should I really ignore him. What if this is my only chance and he gets mad and never talks to me again?
admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:17 pm

Ultimately what to do is up to you but I say ignore him and it won’t be your only chance.

Lina

November 13, 2013 at 5:18 pm

Hi Chris,
here is my story. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we know each other for 5 years, we’ve been very good friends before and for the past month we agreed to move together to his place. Last week we had a fight because I spent some time on Facebook and he was very jelous, but in our entire relationship I have never cheated on him or so. He said that he won’t forgive me although he still have feelings for me and he broke up with me and asked me to move from his place. Since than It’s been a week since I haven’t contacted him and I didn’t answer to his texts although he texted me repeatedly. Now he doesn’t talk to me either and tries to hurt me by posting different things on Facebook and so on. I really love him and do want to get back together but I really want him to realise that he did a mistake. What should I do next?

Thank you!

admin

November 13, 2013 at 9:19 pm

Have you done NC?
Lina

November 14, 2013 at 7:32 am

Yes, I did but anything I do he keeps doing something worse just to hurt me, mainly because I’m not responding in any way..
admin

November 14, 2013 at 7:38 pm

Give me an example.
Lina

November 14, 2013 at 8:19 pm

He texted me a few days in a row but I haven’t responded at all, and it has been a week since NC initiated by me. He then suddenly stopped texting me and last night he gave a party and was emphasizing how happy he is with his friends (also girls)..
admin

November 15, 2013 at 5:25 pm

He is just trying to get you to break and feel bad…. Don’t.
Lina

November 15, 2013 at 7:02 pm

I won’t break, but I really really want him to be the one who texts me next.. I hope in the end we will be together and fine.. Thank you so much for all your advice!
admin

November 16, 2013 at 7:59 pm

No problem. Keep me updated.
Lina

November 18, 2013 at 2:57 pm

Hi Chris, it’s me again..
This is day 11 since NC initiated by me immediately after the break up, and it’s been a week since he stopped texting me. I feel that it is harder and harder for me to continue not talking to him, as I feel he is forgetting me everyday more. He even started dating other girls, and I think there is no hope for us in the future although I didn’t made anything that bad for him to break up with me and I know that deep down he knows it. What’s your opinion on his attitude? What do you think I should do? Do you think is there any hope for us?
admin

November 18, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Sure there is hope. He is just going through his phase of not dealing with his emotions by getting other girls.

Katherine

November 13, 2013 at 5:17 pm

Hi Chris,

My boyfriend broke up with me saying “Can we just be friends?” on the phone on Oct. 8th. He told me that we don’t match and that our personality are different. He said find a better guy, better than him. He said he doesn’t want to drag me down. He told me to plan my life without him. On the 12th I tried to convince him that we were perfect for each other and he said lets not break up yet.This was a long distance relationship, he lives in DC and I’m in Philadelphia. This was also a secret relationship too where he didn’t want anyone to know that we were together. He is a very private person. He told me that he doesn’t want others to gossip about our relationship. We were secretly in a relationship for about 9-10 months is he is not the cheating type.
He recently moved to a different apartment and a couple days before he moved, he gave me all the extra stuff he didn’t want anymore (chairs, lamp, keyboard etc.) on the 16th. That was the last time I saw him. We didn’t mention about the breakup, we just had dinner after giving me the stuff and he left. He also looked uninterested in me the whole time. After that day, I called him many times for several days but he didn’t pick up and said he was busy. The last contact I had with him was on the 28th of Oct. where he gave me back the stock account he was helping me with. He said that I’m busy but I’ll call you back but he never did and it’s already 2 weeks now. I have a feeling that he will never call me back and wants me out of his life. He also believes in horoscopes and it said that saggitarius guys are not compatible with my sign of gemini-cancer cusp.

Right now I’m working on myself, trying to be happy with family/friends, date others and not focus on my ex anymore. I’m trying to do all of this but I’m still thinking about him and all the common mistakes I did (had boring conversations, emotional with tears, called multiple times etc.

Does the NC 30 days work for my situation where I’m in a long distance relationship and a closet girlfriend?

Should I also ignore his birthday (Dec. 5th) coming up and not text Happy Birthday? (it’s not part of your steps)

What are you thoughts about secret relationships? (He is not the cheating type) Some of my friends said it’s a red flag to not continue.

For the past 2 weeks of no contact, I signed up for Okcupid and met a lot of guys online. It made me happy again knowing that many are interested in me. Should I keep doing this even though I still think about my ex a lot?

admin

November 13, 2013 at 9:17 pm

Yes NC should work I actually wrote a LDR guide you should check it out.

Lolyn

November 13, 2013 at 1:51 pm

By the way, before we had an arguement and decided to go on NC, we had a date on where he told me he still loves me but he’s not yet ready to take me back. Whenever I remember that, I really feel i screwed it up and now we are on NC. I’m just really confused on what to do right now.

What do you think about what he said to me?
Should I continue NC?

admin

November 13, 2013 at 8:37 pm

Yes absolutely you should.

Sally

November 13, 2013 at 10:26 am

My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago. I am still really struggling to cope with it because it was very unexpected and out of the blue. For this reason, I have had some contact with him, which he has been fine with (or so he says). Is it too late to start the ‘no contact’ thing, or will that not work now? I figure it has only been three days and we are best friends so it has been had to not contact him.

admin

November 13, 2013 at 8:19 pm

Sorry you are having such a tough time. No you can still do NC.

Sophia

November 13, 2013 at 5:32 am

The guy I have been dating on and off for over a year now, broke up with me because of my mother. It hurts because we really liked each other and I feel as if we were forced out of our relationship. He’s words were to me “I really liked you but I’ve done this before and I can’t do tjis again, I need to date someone more independent.” However, after a week he xalls n tells me he is dating someone n couldn’t talk to me anymore. After, two weeks he calls me and asks for my advice on his relationship (basically the girl he is dating has trust issues n dumped him). My advice to him was to give her some space n if he really likes her, prove it to her. I still have feelings for him but I didn’t tell him that. I felt as if that was my opportunity, but I want to fix myself before I get back with him. However, I feel as if I will eventually lose him and I don’t want to.

admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:51 pm

Well, have you done anything this guide suggests?
Sophia

November 13, 2013 at 10:49 pm

Yea, the concentrate on myself part… but I’m going to try the NC rule. I mean its hard because he will text me n I’ll be so eager to text back. Like today, he texts me thanks for the advice, n I just respond and told him I missed him… then he just says ok but he n the girl worked things out… do I told him thats good and bye… I’m going to just continue to concentrate on myself n try not to answer him nor text him back anymore.
admin

November 14, 2013 at 6:49 pm

Solid plan! Definitely go with that.

Jen

November 13, 2013 at 3:21 am

OK so for limited contact means that im happy and confident when he sees me which is like every day. does that mean when he talks to me and cracks jokes and stuff i laugh and smile while talking to him? or should i do the cold shoulder as much as possible.

admin

November 13, 2013 at 7:33 pm

Yes laugh and smile. Don’t make anything awkward just try to be normal.

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