He Said "It's Over For Good-" What Do I Do? Does He Mean It?

65 thoughts on “He Said It’s Over For Good… What Do I Do?”

JF

February 26, 2018 at 3:50 am

I was dating a guy 39 years old I am 46 we have had some up and down moments yes a bit toxic.. long story short the other day we went on a day trip out of town .. he tends to be controlling and didn’t like I spoke my mind about something that bothered me.. Hevbecame very loud in restaurant and I asked him to lower his voice he became louder and told me we are over for good and find my own ride home which is over two hours away and left me in a big and strange city .. that being said I feel very sad that he was able to set all feeling aside and abandon me without feeling bad if you love another person why would they do that ? I am questing everything right now .. why I can’t speak my mind if he even loved me how he has no empathy and I don’t know how I can get over him I thought he was my soul mate
Sarah

October 29, 2017 at 11:17 am

Me and my ex were together for 4.5 years and he suddenly broke up with me 2 weeks before starting uni together. Since then it’s been about a month and I have been texting him none stop (which is stupid!) but I can’t help it and I know I’m ruining my chances of getting back together by doing that. I don’t know what to do cause I’m still so in love with him but he’s told me to find someone else and that he doesn’t love me anymore 🙁

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2017 at 9:14 pm

Hi Sarah,

Do you want to do the no contact rule?

Camille

October 27, 2017 at 8:03 am

Hi Chris, it’s been a while since the last time I visited your site. Way back then, I remembered clearly how desperate, eager and obsessed
I am to get my exBF back who happens to be the father of my 9y.o. son (we are not married if incase you need to know). What brought me back here is that I remember how sincere, realistic your advice is. It’s more of valuing your self and getting back to knowing your worth, more than chasing someone who forgot to value your worth. Honestly, I’m no longer sure if I really wanted to win him back. It’s more on, wanting him to win me back. How can I be able to do that. By the way, it’s been 3 weeks since I talk to him, but the last time I check, even we talk to each other we seems distant, especially him. Just a brief sharing, he hurts me a lot of times (he had relationships with other girl while we still live together) yet I try to stay with him but then time comes that I just got tired and want to live a life away from him. The story of our story is to many to mention, if incase you want to learn about it, just email me back. Help me out.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 30, 2017 at 8:13 pm

Hi Camille,

It sounds counterintuitive but the more you care or want someone to win you back, the less ungettable you are.
Because ungettable girls know the guy should win her back if he wants to be in her life.. If he can’t do that, he’s not worth it..

Joan

October 16, 2017 at 6:43 am

Hi! I broke up with my ex bf last 2013 for the reason that i fell out of love.. and I just initiated a text last week for ua to meet and talk so that I could apologize. He’s still mad at me and refuses to talk to me. He said “it’s over” but he didn’t tell me directly that he has no feelinga for me anymore. My feelings for him started to return. I want him back. What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 16, 2017 at 11:44 pm

Hi Joan,

Check this one:
Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back After Years Apart

Annie

September 6, 2017 at 5:37 am

Hello am helpless here
Relation of 6 months.last month with ups and down bcs of our lately sickness.a month ago he went for vacation that was the time he asked for a break.but i was in his place for some reasons.when he came back.it was smooth and got me a gift.since we went to the beach and i saw pics of naked woman that he slept with.that day we had huge fight(he know am so jelous) he kept appologizing.till i accepted the appology.
It was ok.last time was 12 days ago we went to the sea he was so nice.and we kissed passionately.but bcs i was so confussed bcs of him saying i can know new ppl.and talk with other.plus the kiss and the pics i saw.the next day we went to the sea.there was a guy he spoke to me.and i allowed just to see his reaction with me.guess wt.he got soooo furious and fought with me.i didnt expect it.but he asked not to see me again and that even he had the slight feeling of being back now he is done.i left.after 5 days i tried to meet he was still down.tried to call him many times that day nothing.i made 3 attempts during the 12 days just to make it better.nothing.he seen my texts but nothing
The last attempt was last thursday.THEN FRIDAY HE MADE LIKE ON MY PROFFILE PIC.honestly i didnt do anything at all.i decided NC after the like.on sundaySOMETHING WEIRD HAPPENED.I FOUND HIS NUMBER CALLING ME.I ANSWERED IT WAS ALL SILENCE.I HANG UP AND CALLED TO CHECK.NO ANSWER.HIS NUMBER CALLED AGAIN.THIS TIME IT SOUND IN HIS POCKET. so i didnt do anything from sunday after this.
But am confussed. For the like on friday and the unexpected call in sunday.wts his purpose?distruct me? I decided NC
But the like and the call confussed me
Should i continue the NC? Or try later ? Or was enough with last attempts?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 9:02 pm

HI Annie,

restart the count of nc, stick to it and be active in improving yourself and in posting. Do at least 30 days. Don’t reply nor answer his phone calls. You can only break it if he literally says he wants you back.

Annie

September 5, 2017 at 7:14 pm

Guys in 6month relation. Recently we broke up for good. was 12 days ago. 3 weeks ago he asked for a break and we agreed. but he asked me to stay at his place for some personal reasons. anyway when came back by chance i saw his phone. he slept with someone there. im so jelous for him. so we had a huge fight. from me specifically. after some attempts for appologizing from him i dealed and forgave.
We went on stable phase. but he was telling me i can know people for friends and ok if i know someone. it felt like he didn’t care. one day we went to the sea. it was awesome. and kissed
So that confussed me more. the next day we went again to the sea. and by chance a guy came to speak. we spoke. when he came he seem bothered. but wt really anoyed me he had a huge fight with me. and told me to end it this time and doesn’t want to see me anymore. which i didn’t expect it bcs of wt he told me bfr.(idid it cnciously) after 5 days i tried to reach. but nothing. during the 12 days i tried 3 times. notjing.. last time was Thursday and i decided the NC rule. Friday he made like on my profile pic. which amazed me
Last thing that happened was yesterday i found his number calling me. i answered.. few seconds he didn’t speak so i hang up. i called je didn’t answer. and 2nd time he dialed but was in his pocket. guys am confused of the call thing on Friday..
Bcs it happened bfr to send me on messenger cat faces. and when i asked him he said. oh sorry it sent by itself and he started talking
Is he trying to destruct me? Wt to do? will he contact me?

EBR Team Member: Amor

September 7, 2017 at 9:02 pm

HI Annie,

restart the count of nc, stick to it and be active in improving yourself and in posting. Do at least 30 days. Don’t reply nor answer his phone calls. You can only break it if he literally says he wants you back.

Rachael

August 18, 2017 at 5:19 am

my bf of 5 years finally broke up with me about a month ago. we were incompatible from the start and i knew it wouldn’t last forever but he became my best friend. the breakup was mutual and respectful and for a full week afterwards we were still texting like best friends. but then i admitted to him that i had been cheating on him at the end of our relationship and he immediately wanted nothing to do with me. of course i don’t blame him for that and i don’t think we should ever get back together as boyfriend and girlfriend but i do miss my best friend. do you think it’s possible he will ever want to be friends again? should i bother trying to find out since i know that he thinks it’s unhealthy for him to even talk to me right now?

EBR Team Member: Amor

August 18, 2017 at 5:38 pm

HI Rachael,

Yeah someday when much time has passed.. It depends from a person to person but a safe bet would be maybe after 6 months or a year he would have moved on..

Aisha

July 1, 2017 at 9:57 am

My ex broke up with me nearly 2 weeks ago via text after 9months together.

I have not contacted him since in any way. He has tried to break up with me before but we end up back together. Normally I would be more open and would talk it out but this time, I’m standing my ground for my self respect and dignity with no contact. But a few days ago he liked my social media post and commented with a congratulations because I got a new job.

What could his action mean and why?

EBR Team Member: Amor

July 4, 2017 at 8:36 pm

Hi Aisha,

Check this one:
My Ex Boyfriend Liked My Pictures And Status On Facebook

Farah

June 30, 2017 at 4:41 pm

Hey,
My ex and I have been together for six months now, we haven’t said that we love each other but it was obvious, we were so into each other and the attraction was mind blowing….two months ago we have been going through ups and downs, he was giving me mixed signals, and we weren’t talking that much
Few days ago, I called him after a month of not contact rule, he was super excited and asked me out, we met and it was really good and then before leaving, he said he wants us to stop meeting because he can’t control himself around or resist me, and he does not like that and he does what that to continue. I said nothing but agreeing with him and left
He blocked me everywhere after that.
What I know about him is that he is one of the good guys, he does not know lots of girls and he is all about his family and work.

Does that mean he did not love me all this time even though it was obvious, and he only wanted me for sex?
Do we have any chances?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 30, 2017 at 5:12 pm

It looks you met too early..for me, you should wait for him to initiate contact and then slowly build rapport and dont be fwb again

Hopeless

June 17, 2017 at 2:40 pm

Hi Chris & Amor, I broke up with ex boyfriend 3 weeks ago, after a 1,5 year relationship. I really regret it but he thinks I moved on and that I’m back with my ex boyfriend which is absolutely not the case. I really want him back but when we talk, all he says is how much he hates me and that I’m a stranger to him now. He tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore at all and doesn’t care for me. I’d like to believe that he’s saying these things out of anger or hurt but he also blocked me in every way possible. In the beginning I made every mistake possible but now I’m trying the no contact. It just hurts so much cause he’s following, liking and flirting with so many new girls now. I really don’t know what to do, do you thinks it’s hopeless and I should give up?

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 19, 2017 at 6:56 pm

why does he think you’re back with your ex? what did you tell him about that?

Please help

June 11, 2017 at 5:07 pm

Hi Team,

I could really use some guidance. I separated from my husband around six months ago due to cheating on my part. I messed up badly I admit. I’ve been working on myself and started working a job, made friends etc. My ex started dating someone seriously with a kid shortly after we went our separate ways. I was surprised with his decision to start a new dramatic relationship with a girl with extra baggage. Not necessarily her child but she has a crazy ex husband lurking around. I know he is the type of guy that believes in the fantasy and we broke up because I chose some other over guy which I now regret. I have been taking your advice and have left him alone and was hoping things would go south with him and his gf. I had been having intense dreams about him and to my surprise we ran into each other last week and had a positive talk. No mention of his gf and I kept my cool and didn’t reach out after our run in although I miss him terribly. To my surprise (again) he reached out yesterday and we went on a long walk and talked about several topics. He reached out because he’s having gf problems (shocker) and she is choosing her ex husband over him in terms of their daughter together. I did not bash her and said I was here for him and that I respect him and his relationship and hope he is happy. I felt very strong and know I want him back. I think the fantasy bubble has burst for him and his gf in his mind and I think problems will keep coming up. So what did I do? My family thinks I should tell him how I feel but I think slow and steady wins the race. Obviously I don’t want to get friend zoned either. Should I reach out? Give him space? What happens if he wants to meet up again? I am predicting that he will stay with her for now but I want him to see me in a positive light again and I think appearing drama free and happy is my best bet. The situation has rebound written all over it. I hope I can change his mind about me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 14, 2017 at 10:08 am

Even if you left him alone if you weren’t focused in improving yourself and being active in posting, that’s not a no contact period..especially if you reply when he reaches out

Jane

June 9, 2017 at 7:51 am

Also when I asked for the documents back he seemed kind of stunt I wanted it back? (I had to ask for it back cause I needed them and I couldn’t get a new copy, I tried) He paused before saying he will make arrangements. I don’t know why

Jane

June 14, 2017 at 7:54 am

Im not sure if my previous reply got posted. Anyway I’ll try to retype it here.

He said he will drop the documents off but he hasn’t yet and he didn’t say when. He called me out of the blue 2 days ago asking me how am I and stuff. He also said I was the biggest mistake of his life ( lol i don’t know why i found that funny). The call lasted about an hour and he was just saying things like how Im the only one in the world that truly knows him and he still respects me and if i ever needed help I could ask him, but thats it. Then he also told me to not call him again? He said he doesn’t believe in relationships and marriage anymore after this and we can never be together again. He also mentioned that I didn’t even text him on his birthday haha. And that he has to be hostile towards me because thats the only way he will get over me? He told me he admits that Im still in his heart and the breakup was hard for him but its getting easier now. I can’t really gauge how or what he feels. What do you think? Oh he also said that he misses my dad the most. So yeah, Im just confused now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 16, 2017 at 6:54 pm

it means he keeps talking to you so he can slowly move on by slowly getting used not talking to you
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 13, 2017 at 5:40 pm

Are you going to get the documents in person? If yes, when?

Jane

June 9, 2017 at 7:17 am

Hi 🙂

Ive successfully completed NC for 30 days, and I’ve definitely grown from where I first was – I would have never thought this. Now I want to reach out to him again and Im so afraid. I haven’t seen him in 2 months. Ive read all the articles about texting guides etc but I can’t come up with anything good I can say. Andddd it would seem like he’s still quite hostile towards me. His ego is the size of everest. I called him and we spoke today (nothing about getting back together, I just needed some important documents back and all he said was “I’ll make arrangements”) but he was being really distant and stuff. It was civil, but cold. Doesn’t seem like he missed me at all. I just tried to keep my cool as well, not reacting. I guess the bright side is he didn’t hang up on me lol. I don’t expect us to magically get back together instantly. Im just afraid to make the next move that would ruin everything. I love him and I really want to make it work. Other guys have been asking me out but inside me it just doesn’t spark up anything. Could you help me please? Any advice? Thanks in advance.
Laurie

June 8, 2017 at 3:31 am

My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We have a few bills together so I can’t just not talk to him since he owes me money. We broke up cause his ex, they broke up 11 months ago, told him they have a baby together. She didn’t even tell him she was pregnant. When he broke up he said he wanted to try and work things out with her for his daughter. I told him to refinance the car just under his name and take himself off my phone bill. Initially he agreed. Hours later he text me saying he didnt want to cut contact cause it help him realize if he made a mistake. For the first week and change he’d text me first and I’d answer when I could. The texts between us got less and less but he texts her constantly. I reached out to him a couple of times cause he owes me money and I kind of flipped out on him today cause my friends keep telling me he’s using me. I don’t know what to do in this situation. I need some guidance

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2017 at 7:16 pm

restart the count of nc and only talk to him about the payments, nothing else..

Laurie

June 8, 2017 at 3:30 am

My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We have a few bills together so I can’t just not talk to him since he owes me money. We broke up cause his ex, they broke up 11 months ago, told him they have a baby together. She didn’t even tell him she was pregnant. When he broke up he said he wanted to try and work things out with her for his daughter. I told him to refinance the car just under his name and take himself off my phone bill. Initially he agreed. Hours later he text me saying he didnt want to cut contact cause it help him realize if he made a mistake. For the first week and change he’d text me first and I’d answer when I could. The texts between us got less and less but he texts her constantly. I reached out to him a couple of times cause he owes me money and I kind of flipped out on him today cause my friends keep telling me he’s using me. I don’t know what to do in this situation

EBR Team Member: Amor

June 10, 2017 at 7:17 pm

restart the count of nc and only talk to him about the payments, nothing else..

Moa

June 6, 2017 at 12:04 pm

I slept with my ex bf, have I sabotaged my chances now?

Moa

June 7, 2017 at 6:17 pm

About a week after we broke up, now it has been about 5 weeks since then and we haven’t talked at all for 5 weeks.
EBR Team Member: Amor

June 7, 2017 at 5:28 pm

when was that?

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65 thoughts on “He Said It’s Over For Good… What Do I Do?”