How To Get Your Ex Back When He's Moved On To A New Girl

3,819 thoughts on “Has He Moved On? How To Get Him Back If He Has A Girlfriend”

Jessica

November 6, 2013 at 12:06 am

hi Chris,
Your website has given me a little hope. About a year ago my ex and I started dating (in fact our anniversary was supposed to be next week). we had a good relationship, we got along really well, we complimented each other and were very affectionate at times. We got married on April because we were in love and because he wanted to help me with some paperwork for university. I moved in with him to see how the relationship grew and to help the cause. We knew that a marriage after such little time was a crazy idea but it would help me, so he proposed it. anyway, last month he broke up with me. We had our arguments like any other couple but it always seemed to revolve on the same theme: miscommunication. he would have no filter in his mouth whatsoever, and a few of those things would make me really upset. he would tell me he didn’t mean to hurt me or make me cry and confide with me that he felt like he was hurting me and that everything he did was wrong.
You see, although he is 6 years older than me (we are in our twenties), i am his first girlfriend, he had had sex before i came around but i think with only two women. This as all new to him, this was the first time he fell in love, the first time he lived with someone else, the first time he thought of “us” instead of “me”. he used to be very overweight and that is because he couldn’t get a date, when in reality he is a very considerate, helpful and generous person.
Anyway last month, he broke up with me after we argued (again a miscommunication) and he saw me cry. We have broken up 6 months ago for the same reason and got back together less than a week after. This time it was for real, i got depressed and went out drinking, got so drunk he had to take care of me. he told he loved me while i was drunk and told me he didn’t wanna leave me and cried next to my drunken ass (i am still embarrassed). the next day we acted like acquaintences, very respectful and considerate; he would hug me and kiss my forehead when he saw i was feeling down. after 3 or 4 days the sexual tension was too much, he asked me if i really wanted to do it, because he didnt wanna give me any false hope. i accepted and from then on we had sex until this halloween. we would act like a couple again, although not officially, we would go out, hold hands, kiss, he even told me again he loved me; i hadn’t heard that in a while. he had told me to move out, which was a heartbreak but we agreed for me to move out when we got some money to purchase a whole set of furniture for myself, which i really needed in order to move.
but the again he and that unfiltered mouth of his… he saw me upset again and asked me to really move out ASAP, no more sex, no more kissing, no more nothing. he got extremely cold and started to go out a lot with his brother and coming home at 4 or 5am. before i moved we had a big fight, and i lost it. i apologized and said that i wanted to end things on good terms but he was being a real dick to me. during the last two days we didn’t talk on the phone or text or anything. two strangers. he put our pictures in drawers and i even saw him flirting with a girl for a second.
I left some stuff of mine in his apt because we are supposed to live together still (part of the paperwork). but now my mom has told me she has heard that he is going around partying with many women. and i just moved out yesterday.
i am starting the NC period…

admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:12 pm

Sweet! what do you plan on doing during NC?
Jessica

November 6, 2013 at 7:26 pm

I was thinking about MC, since we still have to a lot of paperwork together… Is that fine as long as I talk extricly about those papers and one text at a time? How should I approach him? Sweet Nd to the point?
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:20 pm

I think it can be yes.
Jessica

November 7, 2013 at 5:52 pm

“That’s your problem”… Do you think that if I give him time he will realize he is acting like an asshole to me? Not long ago he was in love with me. I just can’t believe how he is acting
admin

November 8, 2013 at 5:34 pm

I think he will but the real question is do you even want him back after that time.
Jessica

November 8, 2013 at 6:35 pm

Only time will tell, I guess. He has never been like this. EVER. I have been thinking about if I wanna deal with all of this again… And I realized I don’t want us to break up ever if we get back together. He has made me so happy and I know I have made him happy too. I hope he is not proud enough to not reconsider our relationship.
admin

November 9, 2013 at 11:43 pm

Just keep on keeping on. Try to make progress one step at a time.
Jessica

November 15, 2013 at 11:34 pm

Hey Chris!
I have been on the no contact rule since the 4th. After I contacted him on the 6th about the info I needed and he told me to not bother him unless it was something important, I have seen him twice on Friday, once on Wednesday and once today. Our work places are really close and these times I have seen him, he has seen me as well! I have been pretending I don’t see him bc I have panicked, afraid he might not return a smile back or a hi back. Today he sent his brother with a letter that arrived for me to his apt. His brother told me I looked good and then left.
I am confused as to why he is acting like this. I read your guide on the male mind during the NC period, (In my case MC) and he is either stubborn or angry. Thing is, I haven’t done anything to make him act this way!
Please, Chris, I need some insight!
Jessica

November 17, 2013 at 2:29 pm

I am eating healthier, focusing on school and work. His aunt has taken me out a couple of times. He found out and started asking her about me and if I have talked about him. I found out he is not talking to his grandma bc she was giving him a hard time bc he broke up with me. She likes me a lot and she and his aunt told him he made a mistake.
I am going to a spa day today with his aunt.
admin

November 17, 2013 at 9:05 pm

Have fun at the SPA I hope you have a great time with the aunt.
admin

November 16, 2013 at 9:19 pm

Some guys just act this way because they want to play the victim. What are you doing during NC to evolve?
Jessica

November 16, 2013 at 6:11 pm

I am thinking it could be because of out fight two days before I moved. He was acting like a dick and got me so upset and angry at him that I told him I should have slept with this other guy that wanted to date me when I had the chance. He said that was my issue, not his. After that I apologized, realizing what I had said.
Today was supposed to be our anniversary..,
Jessica

November 6, 2013 at 11:52 pm

I texted him because I needed his license number for some paperwork. He refused and told me to not bother him unless it is something important… He screwed me over and now I can’t do the paperwork we need!
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:46 pm

Tell him that it is important.
Jessica

November 6, 2013 at 12:17 am

when he said goodbye, he just have me advise for living with my parents again, told me call him if anything and left. not even a hug. i havent contacted him since.

Bella

November 5, 2013 at 7:38 pm

It’s been over a year now that my ex has left me. It hurts every single day and I can’t even legitimately think about it or explain it to a friend without crying despite the time, and despite how hard I try not to. At first, he was snippy with me. He was stressed out and upset about school and work so I was trying to just be there for him and be understanding, and for a few months after the final break up (there were three) we would still get….close, he would flirt and make moves on me, then suddenly one day he just stopped like some switch was flipped and said he’d “met this girl”. Even though he was very tense and would even get harshly mean with me at first, he would always go behind her back to come to me. Even to this day, despite there being periods of him getting hostile with me as if I were the one coming on to him every time (when it’s always him making the moves) he always, always comes back to the “I miss you”‘s, and recently he’ll start a flirting session I’ll try and elicit a different response from him and get “I love you” instead, leaving me totally shocked yet hopeful. I’ve been trying so hard to get him back, and there was even one heart to heart one time where I confronted him about how the stupidest, littlest things drove a wall between us and he shocked me yet again by admitting I was right, then became very uncharacteristically hard on himself and tried to take the blame for all of it. He’s also told me more around the time of him getting together with the other girl that he missed me enough to come “crawling back” (his words) to me. I can tell in the way that he talks to me and especially how he acts in those rare moments we get to be face to face that he still loves me no matter what he may say later on. I had a relationship before him, and when it was over, I felt it. It was just done, and I felt so hurt and alone. But this time around, I don’t feel like he’s totally gone. It’s something in my heart telling me to keep fighting for him, and I intend to do this. But every time things get so great that I’m actually excited and feel as if I’m on the verge of getting him back, suddenly things spiral and either he’s regarding me angrily again and I won’t hear from him anywhere from a few days to several weeks, or he’ll say things like it’s wrong and he’s happy with the other girl (even though he’s only ever said to me he’s happy in a way that makes me feel as if he’s trying to convince himself of it to, or described his relationship with her as “okay” when he’s admitted ours was “great”). I can’t stand so much heartbreak on a daily basis anymore, and I’m thinking I need advice. What should I do when things get good again and want to prevent him from pulling away from me so harshly and suddenly again?

admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:47 pm

You know, thats an interesting question. I am actually thinking about creating a guide on that.

Linda

November 5, 2013 at 6:36 pm

I knew the guy that I was dating for 2 and a half years before we actually went out on a date. He is my bestfriends husband’s friend. He was in a relationship during that time but I found out from my friend that he liked me and was attracted to me during that time. he was faithful to his girlfriend. They broke up last fall and he wanted my number but my friend told him it was too soon. She finally gave him my number last june and we had awesome conversations, an amazing first date etc. July was amazing. My friend heard him talking to her husband about how he really liked me etc. Then in August I noticed he became distant then in September he began ignoring me. He finally responded to a text and said he just doesnt have the time right now for a reationship and apologized if he wasn’t totally upfront with me and if he had been a jerk. I couldn’t believe it because he was totally into me and wanted to date me for so long. But then a week after that I found out that he was dating someone else. His friend told me that he is just dating this girl just because she has money and that she isn’t attractive. (He has had some serious money issues)I implemented the no contact rule and initiated my first text last thursday. He responded positively and I kept the conversation very short. Today I found out that in a few weeks he’s going away with her for a few days. I have totally lost hope. Do I still have a chance of getting him back? Should I continue with the texting system that you suggest and initiate another text?

admin

November 6, 2013 at 4:43 pm

Yes definitely continue with the text system. BUT only after NC.

Amanda

November 5, 2013 at 12:37 am

I’ve read your guides and I followed most of them, I even created a plan on how to text him after the NC but sadly he found a new girlfriend before I could take action. We talked once about a week ago and we were talking about why the relationship didn’t work out, well actually I did most of the talking and now I know why it didn’t work out, I decided to polish my bad habits an change my old ways. The only thing is I hardly meet and I probably can’t because his girlfriend might be jealous. I really want to get him back, I mean after all we’ve done and promised we’ve made, I really want to be with him. I don’t really know what to do now. I am afraid of texting him because I think I am annoying him and I dare not ask him out because he may bring his girlfriend along and I do not want to see her. Please help me

admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:43 pm

How long have you been in NC for exactly?
Amanda

November 6, 2013 at 5:02 am

about 27 days including today

Robbie

November 4, 2013 at 6:06 pm

First of we are guys. We had an undefined relationship. We started as friends and we were straights a year ago. We used to hang out a lot and developed a relationship. I bought a house that close to me as I convinced him. I had always thought that we were fwb and we would move on once either of us dating a girl. However, 6 months ago, he told me he just loved me too much that he felt he didn’t want to stay straight any more, he started to talk about our future. At the time, I kinda refused all that. Couple months later, he told he he came out, told his family he’s gay. I loved him too, I wanted to be with him but I was scared to do the same. We were still meeting everyweek and everythjng seemed fine but a month ago he told me he’s been dating another guy. At first, I fell ok with that and then later I realized that I just loved him too much and I decided I could just come out and to be with him but when I told him about how I fell and about that I’m wanting to come out and be with him as a couple. He told me, he’s sorry, he’s already in relationship with other guy and that guy was too sweet. He told me he’s never expected me to come out for him. He told me he still love me, but he’s in a relationship. He told me that I am not losing him, we are still together and we are bestfriends from now. That’s way we can never lose each other. He wants me to be haply for him and he want me to marry a girl and be straight guy. He said this will be good for both of us.
We are currently still texting everyday and still plan to hang out in the weekend. We help each other when needed and we live close to each other.
I lost him but I realized that I loved him to much and I really want to him back and be more than just bestfriends.
Any advices, would be greatly appreciate. I don’t know if I keep talking, meeting up with him, texting…. like what I’m doing or I should limit those. What should I do when I meet and hangout with his new boyfriend….

admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:00 pm

Oh sorry if I assumed it was your girlfriend.

Well, part of the problem is you are in a position where you need to do NC but I don’t think you want to.

Gizzygal

November 4, 2013 at 12:24 pm

I just read your new article and WOW it’s amazing. I am trying to follow all of your advice from here on out. Unfortunately, I did not stumble across your website until recently. My story: My ex and I dated for a year and a half. Fairy tale beginning of course. We had some breaks here and there because he gets scared of commitment. He ended up getting a house earlier this year and I was supposed to move in in June. Talked about getting engaged, married, etc. I had half of my stuff there and then it’s like everything started going wrong. Fighting, etc. We went about 2 weeks without any contact then he came back begging me to give me another chance and saying he wanted to start over. I was still on the untrusting side, needless to say, it didn’t go well and we never rekindled. About 3 weeks ago we started texting again and he was telling me how much he missed me, wanted to hang out etc. I had heard through friends that he was interested in someone but she was in a relationship and wasn’t showing signs of interest. He and I ended up spending the weekend together at this house and then texted nonstop the next couple of days about how amazing our time together was. However, I have to see him once a week for a sport we play. When I saw him that week he completely ignored me and was glued to his phone. So I left without saying goodbye. He ended up calling me 4 times that night and then the next day texted me. I told him I felt like he was interested in someone else and he assured me there was no one and he wouldn’t do that to hurt me more. Anyways, I found out later that day that he and the girl he was interested in had started talking and hanging out. Now he is telling people he’s completely head over heels for her. I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore and that I wasn’t going to be texting him. I’m on the 6th day of NC. But I just am wondering….what is going on and if he really is happy??? and if there’s a chance for me?? Any advice or opinions would be so appreciated!!

admin

November 4, 2013 at 6:19 pm

Ahem “guide” not article hahahahaha.

Keep on keeping on in the NC!
Gizzygal

November 4, 2013 at 10:07 pm

Sorry! “Guide”! and I will!
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm

No problem hahaha.

Ada

November 4, 2013 at 9:08 am

hey chris. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and he got a new girlfriend about 3 weeks ago. I’ve done NC already and he talked to me about a week ago because one of my friend asked him to and my ex told me that he won’t get into another relationship with me. I know I shouldn’t beg him or anything but I asked whether he will give me another chance and he said he wanted to but apparently because I said I didn’t want to be friends with him made him change his mind. I haven’t talk to him since then. I saw him during the Halloween party and he seems to be avoiding me. I know you’ll probably ask me to move on and I did try but it seems like I can’t. Since I knew what went wrong ( I was clingy, over-protective, rude and other stuff), I changed my attitude like the way he would like it but since I won’t be seeing him till next year, I don’t know how I am going to show him the new me : and I am also not sure whether he is in a rebound relationship, I think he has moved on already when he met that girl. From my experience, even if they are about to break up, my ex will try his best to save it. Now I’m just waiting for them to break up so that I can attract him again :/ Any tips to get him asap?

admin

November 4, 2013 at 6:11 pm

Just be patient at this point and really spend most of your time looking inwards and figuring out how you can evolve and improve yourself as an overall human being.
Ada

November 5, 2013 at 2:37 am

Ok so other than improving myself, what else should I do. I get upset day after day knowing he has a new girlfriend and I am worried they may never break up T_T
admin

November 5, 2013 at 5:50 pm

The odds are in your favor that they will breakup!
Ada

November 6, 2013 at 5:05 am

But I’m worried that they won’t break up or not so soon. Next year is a important year so I think its going to be hard to get my ex back 🙁 I can’t seem to convince myself that they will break up and I keep having thoughts of them hugging and kissing. My head is going to explode soon.
admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Well, you need to get your mind around it so it’s not that scary for you and you can remain logical instead of emtoinal
Ada

November 7, 2013 at 2:25 am

I’ll try but it really seems impossible to get him out of my mind. He just means a lot to me, he is my best friend, my listening ear, he gave me so much and it hurts to watch him leave
admin

November 7, 2013 at 5:54 pm

Do you best thats all anyone can ask of you.

madesol

November 3, 2013 at 11:03 pm

So me and my ex had broke up not even officially. Then about a week later I went to go see him and talk things through and we made up and he said that he wanted me back, but we never talked about it and made anything clear. So it’s about 4 weeks later and I find out that he is dating his old girlfriend has for about 2 weeks, but I would like to tell him that I still love him but I don’t live near him anymore, and I’m scared to think if I try talking to him again that I will seem like a despite idiot… what should I do?

admin

November 4, 2013 at 5:25 pm

Well, don’t talk to him until you are comfortable doing so.

He does seem like he used you a bit and I really don’t like that.

Help

November 3, 2013 at 6:47 pm

My ex and I have been apart for 15 months, we have a 19 month old baby. He is currently in a relationship with another women (they’ve been together for over a year and they live together in the home he and I shared). Recently my ex has been telling me he “doesn’t know” if he and I will ever be together. He spends an hour at my home when he comes to pick up our daughter. He tells me that he still thinks about “us” but doesn’t know if he’ll ever want me back. When he is drunk he is always very nice, he calls me, texts me, etc. but when he is sober he is cold and very distant. I was healing and came to the realization we were over, but then he started saying these things about a month ago. Since then I have fell back into the “hopeful” state of mind. Can you shed some light on this, from a man’s perspective?

admin

November 4, 2013 at 4:55 pm

Sorry about the breakup. Maybe he is having second thoughts and misses you?

I would still do the minimal contact rule on him if I was you.

Washington

November 3, 2013 at 10:35 am

Washington,
I have read a lot on your site and I truly believe in your advice. I do however, have a unique situation. My husband told me one day that he wanted a separation so we separated, he then had a girlfriend within 17 days of our separation so I left the house and have been living at my friend’s. I wish I could do NC but we own a business together and we work everyday together since we can’t afford other employees right now and we would be able to make it financially. At first I would have to deal with him talking to her for hours at at time everyday but it seems like she ended the relationship. Music is his passion but I have never heard him play so many love songs and a lot of them talks about I apologize, why can’t we find a way to make things work etc. now when he talks to me he stares me in my eyes and gives me his undivided attention and speaks very soft, but in the same token I saw him working and his phone is set right in front of him with her pictures flashing, I don’t know what to make of the mixed signals. We’ve been married for 20yrs and we’ve broken up twice before and I implemented the NC rule and we didn’t work everyday together then and on both occasions he came back, he had girlfriends then as well, but this is the first time I’ve seen him so into someone. I think we were both so messed up before but we are in different places now mentally and we both agree we want more from our relationships
I am willing to give this one last chance with the mindset I have now, but what do you think are my chances and what can I do given that we have to work together.

admin

November 3, 2013 at 6:13 pm

Have you read this page yet?

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-your-ex-husband-back/
Washington

November 4, 2013 at 5:24 pm

No, but will do that now. Much thanks.
Washington

Lynn

November 3, 2013 at 8:07 am

I apologize in advance for this being so long–but I thought the more detail, the better the potential advice…
My ex and I started our relationship in high school, and it would have been 10 years this month, but I moved out in the beginning of August after living together for almost 7 years. Things had gradually been getting worse and worse for the past 3-4 years in terms of communication, but there were still plenty of good times sprinkled in there too. I blamed everything on him and decided I couldn’t take either of us being unhappy anymore, so I left because I couldn’t figure out what was going wrong. The first two months were ok and he was actually pretty cordial with me and we even went out to lunch and to a movie on a different day. (We are both in the same professional degree program at the same school, but he is in the class behind me, so we see each other pretty much every day in between classes regardless…it’s a small school, so yeah.)

Starting about 2-3 weeks ago he started being more curt and avoiding me. Last Sunday during a phone conversation, he informed me that he was now in a relationship with a classmate as of a few days prior to that. I was actually surprised how sad/angry I was to hear about it and signed onto fb only to see a different classmate had posted pictures of them holding hands and hugging from the day before. I have never spoken to the new gf, but I am aware that they met a year ago because they happened to sit next to each other in class and she was part of his circle of friends that all hang out together. She was also engaged to a long-distance boyfriend up to the day before my ex asked her out.

[I am just going to preface here–while I know it is super cliche to want an ex back after they start dating someone new because you are jealous or whatever, that is NOT the case. Hearing about it did shock my senses, but it was more like it brought together: 1)what I realized he had been trying to tell me about how I was making him feel for the past few years, with 2)what I had been learning about communication patterns in class. I realized I had been hurting him by being self-absorbed (caused by not realizing how much stress I was under with school) and not respecting him as a person, all the while refusing to admit any fault as far as the cause of our break-up. FYI: I have put a lot of thought into why we should be together and I have many legitimate reasons, so no need to address that.]

Fast-forward to Wednesday: I ask him if he will talk with me in person–he asks why. I tell him I would rather talk to him in person. He says no, it won’t accomplish anything. So I write a letter that night explaining the aforementioned revelation and wait til the next morning to message it to him to make sure it is what I want to do. He calls me that evening. Paraphrase summary of conversation:
EX: I am trying to move on, what do you want from me?
ME: I just want you to know that I’m sorry for hurting you. I was arrogant and wrong to put all the blame on you. I wanted you to know that I take responsibility for my actions. They were not on purpose, but they happened. I love you and I know if you gave me another chance things would be different, etc.
EX: I am with [new girl] now, what would I tell her? She makes me happy and makes me feel good about myself. She was the only one I could talk to about [a tragedy in his family that occurred in April] when I didn’t feel comfortable talking to you. I believe that you think you can change, but I am not willing to ruin what I have with [new girl] to find out.
ME: It makes me sad to hear that. I hope with time you might feel like you could trust me again. I know we still love each other.
EX: I don’t know. Maybe in a year…I don’t know. I need time to think. Please don’t contact me anymore. I will contact you when I am ready to talk or be friends or something. I need some space.
ME: Do you accept my apology?
EX: Yes, I am not angry with you.
ME: Will you really think about what I have said?
EX: Yes.

I also asked him why he had seemed so cool about chatting and hanging out for the first month or so, and he said he thought it would help me, but that it was really hard on him and he couldn’t do it anymore.

[I know there are a lot of things wrong with the timing of the whole deal and I said some things that didn’t help me any, but hindsight is 20/20. This conversation with him (which lasted over 90mins) was the most open he had been with me in a couple years–I was emotional pretty much the whole time and he also became emotional a couple separate times.]

My questions are:
Am I totally screwed and he was just saying things to make me feel better temporarily?
(He seemed very open and sincere, but he did say he was worried about me and I found out he sent a text to my best friend afterward asking her to call him–but she got his voicemail when she called him back…so not sure what he was going to say)

It seemed like he had been waiting a long time to hear me say I was sorry and acknowledge that I had been hurting his feelings for a long time. He just sounded really shocked and not sure what to think because I finally had. Does he really just need time to process my apology and he really will contact me when he works up the courage to trust me not to hurt him again?

What about this new girl? While I am actually really relieved to hear that he had someone he could talk to about personal stuff, I am worried that it is a bad sign for me because he is not the kind of person that opens up easily to new people. Is he going to fall more in love with her while he is thinking? Are they rebounding on each other? Should I wait 3-4 weeks and contact him again or just respect his wishes in order to hopefully gain more of his trust?

admin

November 3, 2013 at 6:10 pm

You are not totally screwed at all.

He was probably making you feel better but there was also a hint of truth I think.
Lynn

November 5, 2013 at 11:57 pm

I was doing good respecting his wish for NC (day 5) until today he was walking in the opposite direction of me and made eye contact and (coincidentally?) decided to turn around and make a neutral comment about something too loud to be talking to himself just as we walked past each other. I was so surprised that he spoke in my presence (considering our last conversation), that I said ‘What?’ while I kept walking and he started walking kind of behind me and to the side and he repeated himself and I just responded neutrally and just kept walking and didn’t turn around to look at him.

Does this count as breaking NC? I have read most of the guide on here and I don’t remember reading much about rules for verbal exchange during NC. I mean, did he forget that HE is the one that asked for NC?? I don’t get it.
admin

November 6, 2013 at 5:11 pm

No I don’t think it does.
Lynn

November 24, 2013 at 1:59 am

Soooo…it ended having to be limited contact because I basically have to interact with him professionally every few days, but I did not text or call for a little over 3 weeks. Today I invited him over for lunch and he actually showed up…we talked and laughed about normal stuff like we used to for about an hour and then he asked how I was doing and wanted to hear about how my counseling sessions were going and what I had been learning about myself. All of a sudden he just decides it’s time for him to leave, so I asked him if him coming over to talk with me means we can start talking again, and he says no. Then I could tell he was trying not to cry and he said he doesn’t think I realize how bad things were for him in the last couple years of our relationship, and basically he is afraid that if he was willing to try again it wouldn’t work. He said all of his friends comment on how much happier he seems since I left and he said his life has been so much easier, but all of my friends and family that know him well tell me that his ‘happiness’ looks forced and fake. So at this point he has been with the new girl for a month with no sign of dumping her in sight…do I try doing another month of limited contact and then texting him things to remind him of the good times?
admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:29 pm

Limited contact is ok! Do you feel like you need another month of it?
Lynn

November 25, 2013 at 2:32 am

I feel like I am pretty close to being zen about the situation at this point, but he is obviously not at peace with how things ended yet, and certainly not ready to commit to giving our relationship another try….yet….especially since his new girlfriend is still in the picture. Does it sound like it might be okay for me to just wait a week or two and start trying to get a positive response through texting?

I just don’t want him to think that I’m ignoring the fact that he is “with someone”, which he always makes sure to let me know. On the subject of the gf, I did not say anything bad about her to him, but I did mention that I feel like she is always giving me a eyeball laserbeam guided death stare, and he said she told him that I was doing that to her, so I guess I’m not really sure who is responsible for starting that. I just thought she was jealous because he is still fb friends with me and has left himself tagged in all the pictures of us kissing and hugging which I’m positive she has seen.
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:54 pm

Zen! Such an important thing to achieve.

Wow the fact that he hasn’t taken your pictures down is really interesting isn’t it.

Chick

November 2, 2013 at 5:41 am

He is not an ex of mine. It started thru friendship and he liked me first, I began to like him but a bit too late. So, While we were dating unofficially through internet as we are in different countries, but childhood friends, he stopped and fell for another girl close to him. I spoke to him and he said I’d always remain in his heart and he will always treasure the memories,but he is happy with this girl and they were talking about settling down next yr. What can I possibly do … I want him to come back to me please …

admin

November 2, 2013 at 7:10 pm

When was the last time you talked to him?
Chick

November 2, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Last night on the phone. He asked me if il be going home this xmas I said I might not I went home twice already since he started dating her but he never came see me. He told me he thought of seeing me but something stopped him. What should I do? It seems like he and this new girl are really hitting it off. Should I tell him if there is a chance for us I would leave everything and go home? Bec im ready to do that.
admin

November 3, 2013 at 5:25 pm

The new girl probably physically stopped him hahahaha.

No don’t give him anything that seems like an ultimatum.
Chick

November 3, 2013 at 6:01 pm

I think il just learn to move on. This is too difficult. .. im so far away and he already wants to settle with her. Nothing I can do ..
admin

November 4, 2013 at 4:46 pm

🙁 sorry to hear that. In any case, check out this: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-get-over-your-ex-boyfriend/

Queen

November 1, 2013 at 11:29 pm

So like me and my ex have been friends with benefits and he used to visit me or text me but ever since the new girl taged along all that is gone but then he gives me that impression that he wants me and the next day his cold… I dont know what to think anymore i’m trying to move on but i just cant seem to forget about him bcz the gf works with me and he’s soon getting retrenched to another place and the worst pain is watching their love grow infront of my eyes :'( do u think its time i moved on?

admin

November 2, 2013 at 6:36 pm

FWB never works out in the end.

Have you tried NC yet?

judy

November 1, 2013 at 1:49 am

What if he is not like any of the men any relationship coach talks about and NO contact is actually a killer – he is the type of man who wants to know he is loved, needed, etc. The more contact the happier he is – AND he has said that to be with her he is “settling” and not all that happy but he doesn’t want to hurt her by putting her through a break-up???

admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:27 pm

I still think you do it b/c that would only intenisify his need to be wanted by you.

Joana

October 30, 2013 at 3:36 pm

Hi
Do you think I should break No Contact to wish him “Happy Birthday”?
*

admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:56 pm

I do not.

sugimura

October 29, 2013 at 8:27 am

So my story’s happening as it is now. Remember I posted multiple times about me and my ex boyfriend work together and his new gf in the office as well. So I posted before that I was to visit his family who were close to me and he was off the same place too. I acted very cool around him. We went out for some fun and stuff that day and he didny let his gf know that I was there coz he didnt want any fights. I showed him the old.me he used to like which he did recognize and miss. So we talked a lot and even when he keeps inserting stuff about his new gf and them moving together, I played it cool. We got to say what we wanted to in the end. He did miss me. So after our rainy getaway in their town, we got back to their house. Ate dinner that we cooked together and tucked into bed. I was facing the other side and wanted to sleep. He kept calling my name and ask questions. In the end he wanted to hug me, as a friend. Then later he wanted me to kiss him. I said only if he wanted to I’d give him a quick kiss to send him asleep. He got confused and started to be nervous. He made out with me and then stuff happened. Later on we fell asleep. The next morning we had to hurry back to the city. His gf kept calling him asking what time he’s arriving n stuff. He told me if I were to visit their again, he would have to sleep in the other room coz he said it would make him do things he cant control. I told him it was my fault. And we were cool about it. He still wants me to come and visit his family once in a while like once in a month if I wanted to. We only talked back after a month or so. Right now, we’re back to the usual no contact as his gf is jealous of me, she keeps control of his phone and his facebook. It’s hard though but I was happy I got to hang out with him once after some time. Though I feel.he just wants me there to be his friend for keeps. What’s your say on this?

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:47 am

Hopefully he will realize how crazy his gf is. What she is doing is unattractive.
sugimura

October 30, 2013 at 4:06 am

Well he does leave it so that they wont fight over me. He kinda spoils her coz I think he really likes her. They were flirting when we were on those last few weeks together. It’s just sad that he doesnt even feel that I am hurt by everything he’s doing now. We never had a big fight. He just left me for her. He even admitted that he wanted to visit me and have a chat but then his gf would make the drama and so he couldn’t go. 🙁
admin

October 30, 2013 at 9:15 pm

Man that is so cold…. Just up and leaving like that.

Eventually the new gf will start to get on his nerves.
sugimura

October 30, 2013 at 11:49 pm

I hope so. As the days go by, I’m actually losing more of him than him missing me. We could barely communicate anymore.
sugimura

November 1, 2013 at 6:15 am

So my ex boyfriend and his new gf are moving in together now. And im also moving to a new place. Does this mean I have to totally move on and forget about him? He told me the last time we met that I should not disown him nor forget him. He calls me his best friend but he cant even txt or call me nor spend 15min on our short breaks. It’s either he’s being restricted or he actually doesnt care anymore. Or both. I guess things dont just happen overnight, but the longer it takes, the harder it feels and the harder it is to get him back. But I do want him back. I’ve been busy doing all those things in this guide and even getting more info all around the web. I feel like it’s not working. What else should I do?
admin

November 1, 2013 at 6:43 pm

No it doesn’t mean that but it does mean your chances of getting him back just lowered. Its up to you whether or not to move on now.

mimi

October 29, 2013 at 2:32 am

Hi I have been in a relation for 2 yearswith this guy..evrithingseemed perfect he was teling me hes in love he wants to merry me that I was the one..how ever 2 monts ago we went on a vacation we came back he started work and just never came back for 1 day . (I was pregnant) he came back the next day anr sed I am sorry I was with friens.. fall a sleep I love u .. I was mad I left the huse for a day I came back the next day and find him with a girl in our bed ..he was working with her..4 years a go they had somthing but she had turnd him down..n9w she was redy to have a realation with her..w3 hadend had sex often the last couple of months ..finally he adm8ted to me he has a blockage and he was thinking of her during our relation this is why he had hard time to get (hard) he told me now he wants to be with her he dosent have this issue in bed with her..I tryed to talk and to see if we can work thing out.. he d8dnt want ..I had a miscarage I lost the baby…I told him fanaly I wished him good luck with her ..and after he text ke told me I want to try again with u I am confused..so we went a weekend ..in a hotel..and once again in bed it didnt work so he told me it dosent work I miss u but its not normal this.. I want her back so he went back to her.. I am so confused…

admin

October 30, 2013 at 3:36 am

Have you tried a full NC yet?

Mary

October 28, 2013 at 10:21 pm

Hi.before anything else,me and my boyfriend started as friends for 2 years. I had a boyfriend and he had also. I don’t have any idea that he fall in love with until he proposed to me. I didn’t notice that i am also falling to him until the day came that I broke with my boyfriend because I didn’t know that he is married. So we became us without our friends idea until they notice. I always tell them that I don’t love him but deep inside me,I really love him already. We have in relationship for 1 year and 9 months. I don’t have any idea that because of our to much fighting’s and arguments, and not showing him my support and love but my trust is still there,will lead him to find another girl.He hide it to me until I just notice that he blocked on Facebook. I saw it by myself.I really dont know what to do. That day I decided to come over their house to talk it over. I pleaded and say sorry just to save our relationship but he just told me that he already love the girl and he found something on her that is not present in me. I just stood up and wanted to cry but no water is coming on my eyes. He told me we can still be again friends where we started as before but for myself I can’t to become only his friend. But I realized that I don’t to loose him because i really,really love him a lot and he is the one I need for the rest of my life. I didn’t get angry or anything else but to accept the fact. The days past,I cried and i cried. Soon I realized and promise to myself that I will get him back. We are already on one week now as best-friends and still hurt me but i have to control my emotions for him. We still have a communication after we broke up. My question is, “can i get him back even we are friends and even he has a new one?”. I am far away to him but the new one is with him on the same city. I really,really do love him and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I really need a BIG HELP.. Thank you.

admin

October 29, 2013 at 3:06 am

Well you might want to take a look at the LDR post!

Emily

October 28, 2013 at 8:58 pm

I was with this guy since i was 15 and he was 16 we were together for 5 years we were madly in love and we lived together for a bit but neither of us have even been in another relationship, we were on and off a few times during the relationship but we always got back together. we recently got into a huge fight and he broke up with me saying that he didnt like me anymore but that one day he wants to be together but for now he wants to be young and free… I was always kind of mean about him going out with his friends all the time and partying, but within 4 days he was seen on a date with another girl and introduced her to his family within 2 weeks, im beginning to think that were never going to get back together and im going crazy. Im trying not to contact him but i have a few times with upset text messages. What should i do, do you think its over for real?

admin

October 29, 2013 at 3:03 am

Well are you doing a NC rule?

anonymous

October 28, 2013 at 5:35 pm

Hy I am girl and I had a a relationship of 3 3years but was a long distance realtionship but we used to meet very often.Few months back we broke up and its been 6-7 months nw and d reason he gave me for breaking up was dat der is no future so he said we will nt b together as I m 1 year elder to him n he knew dat thing since starting n it happened all of sundden n I luv him alot I am nw in his city n staying very near to his place he knws dat I m here wen I msg him he replies back with one words only I m nt in contact with any of my frnds n if my frnds talk abt me to him he ignors n change d topic. Recently he introduced m wid one of his office frnd n he keeps lyking her pics on fb dat scares me more I have a feeling dat he has strted dating her and nw I dont knw wat to do its been months n tried alot but dont knw wat to do I totally have cut down myself from socially can u plz suggest me sumthing I really luv him alot I tryied nt contacting him for 15 days but kuch nhi ho paya but those 15 days I hve totally cut myself socially I realy want him back plz suggest me sumthing .

admin

October 29, 2013 at 2:45 am

Well, you are halfway there you have another 15 days left.

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