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Betty
September 6, 2016 at 10:27 am
Hi Chris and team
So I dated my ex, who is also my coworker for 3-4 month, we work in the same department.
But nobody knows about it. He wanted our relation to be hidden.
About 2 months ago he became suddenly cold and distanced. I felt him drifting away.
Before that, everything was normal, we were texting all day everyday.
So I kept my distance too. Didn’t bomb him with hundreds of msg asking him why is he ghosting me.
until one week later I couldn’t stand the silence and coldness anymore, i finally confront him that I felt something was wrong and ask him if he needs some space to figure things out.
He said we were too different, with two different lifestyle and personality and so on….
I was very confused and upset. Because when he started chasing me. He said the exact same thing, but it was the reason why he found me very attractive. And our different personalities would make us good couple.
So before he said he wanted to breakup, I said it first, I told me it might be the best that we split up.
And then I went on NC for more then 30 days. He didn’t reach out to me at all. We avoid eye contact and kept our conversation strictly work related.
After NC, I sent him a text msg asking him about a address of a restaurant that he once took me on a date.
I got a weird respond. He answered ” So you are talking to me now? ”
I don’t know what does that suppose to mean. Do you think its a proof that NC is really working?
What should I do next?
Im seeing him at work everyday. He is still acting very cold to me. And won’t even say hi or good bye.
How do I know if he still has feelings for me or not?
Betty
September 18, 2016 at 4:19 pm
Hi Amor
It me again…
So we have been flirting and talking a little by text recently. But things aren’t going anywhere.
I think he still has doubts … or maybe he’s seeing already someone else.
Should I go back on NC for a while or stick to the program texting him?
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 20, 2016 at 3:57 pm
nope don’t do nc.. if you want, just be less available. Rest for a day or two
Betty
September 10, 2016 at 4:40 am
Dear Amor
Thanks for the reply!
I have an update!
Yesterday while at work he suddenly start flirting with me via text msg! It was his first reach out after our break up. And I don’t quite know how to react. Should I flirt along with him? I don’t want him to feel that he got my attention back either!
Well what happened exactly was we were going upstairs and instead of taking the elevator with him I took the stairs.
He send me a text ” Am I such a bad person that You won’t even want to take the elevator with me anymore?” (I was dressing quite sexy that day)
I replied: “You with I was in the elevator with you?”
Then he gave me a emoji, the one with the monkey covering his mouth with his hands.
Should I start flirting or stay the same way in limit contact?
During NC I have start doing sports, got tanned and even went out on some dates. I’m surly improving.
Now that he start flirting by text, how do I know if it means he really wants me back? Or he was just attracted to my outfit that day?
Thank you Amor!
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 12, 2016 at 7:06 am
I think that’s too soon to assume that he wants you back. Take it as it is, he’s flirting with you because he found you attractive that day.
EBR Team Member: Amor
September 7, 2016 at 7:29 am
Hi Betty,
how much have you improved since the no contact rule and are you still continuing to do so? If he’s still avoiding you, that might be because he still has feelings for you, or he doesn’t know how to be friendly again. So, take it slow. If he’s being cold even if you initiate, then it can mean he needs to see that you have really moved on first before he becomes civil with you again.
Angie
August 28, 2016 at 3:36 am
My ex is a Japanese and I’m Indonesian. He’s 25 and I’m 27 years old. We have different religion. We work together until now, in same division. we start dating 2 years ago with on and off relationship and nobody in the company knows this.
Last month we had a fight. then he start ignoring my text and took distance from me.
Last week i persuade him to talk in his apartment, he said he had enough of my complains about him. He know that I sacrificed many time and effort for him already but he said this is his limit. He said he tried his best to love me but I keep complaining that his attitude don’t show like he love me so much.
He said he decided to go back to japan end of this year. What intrigues me is how he said that I’m still important person to him and he still mentally support my dream of studying in japan. He even ask me to stay in his apartment until I’m calm down and able to leave the apartment because I cried a lot .
Since then he avoid talking to me and even hand over some works to other person while he supposed to give it to me. He looks fine and work like normal. He can talk and joke and laughed with others just fine.
I heard he start doing tinder. He don’t post anything in FB but he post somethings in Instagram hinting that a girl supports him when he feel down.
Do i have chance on getting him back? He said he feels fine without me and he think I should be with guy who can treat me better.
He said I’m still important for him but he look like he don’t care.
How can i do no contact rule in this situation?
Angie
August 31, 2016 at 2:54 am
Hi Amor,
Yes, I’m trying the alternated NC. I’m already 2 and half weeks in NC. In the middle of NC, I went to holiday trip and also showed through instagram how much I enjoy it, and even I gave a soft hint that there’s someone trying to get close to me.
However is his attitude really shows like he’s not going to contact during my NC.
He do communication about work only through emails, even though we sit side by side , and there are many times he could have talk to me directly about work especially if it’s urgent, but he really avoid talking to me as much as possible. Sometimes he even forgot (or maybe on purpose idk) to send some emails related to my work.. He also dont say greetings like good mornings or “see you” to the team anymore because I was there (maybe). And whenever coworkers try to make a joke together and when I join them, he become silent or moving backward.
I feel like his attitude is cold to me but he still able to maintain normal attitude whenever other coworkers is around.
He open his phone a lot and he strictly hide his phone and laptop screens from me. Somehow it’s quite scary and too much that I even think whether I should change my job or not.
I really wonder whether he really move on already or not..
EBR Team Member: Amor
August 30, 2016 at 2:53 pm
Hi Angie,
do you want to try what Chris advised above?
Silly Girl
May 22, 2016 at 10:32 pm
Hello Chris (and team)!
Here’s a messy one… I had a really cool guy coworker (for reference sake, I’ll call him JC) I was getting to know on a more personal level over the course of about 8 months. What I already knew about him should’ve been enough to discourage any further interest, but unfortunately, it didn’t. In fact, what I discovered, with the help of a female coworker, seemed to intrigue me! When I revealed to that female coworker that I would be interested in JC if he were not married (yes, the part that should’ve discourage me) I was informed by her that he was already being claimed by another female at work. Of course, this news caused me to observe their interactions closely, and sure enough, they had, what I like to refer to as, a “work marriage.” They were always together, talking, eating, next to one another, etc. I even witnessed a “lover’s spout” one day when she was obviously very pissed off with him. At this point, he and I were only friends and mildly texting back and forth, so I felt comfortable enough mentioning to him, via text, that I’d noticed he had a territorial lil “work wife.” He “lol” at my comment and dismissed it describing her as his “lil academy buddy.” The two of them had spent about 4 months at a basic academy “together” (absent from her boyfriend/children’s father and his wife and children), and I would later find out how close the two of them actually got during their academy, that would dictate his conscience from then onward. At some point towards the end of 2015, their relationship grew apart and communication between he and I increased to a point of obvious flirting. Why I chose engage in such foolishness, knowing about a work wife AND an official wife, is still beyond me, but obviously I did, thus finding my way to this site. January-March 2016 consisted of he and I sharing pictures via texting, making sexual remarks, and even planning a hang-out. These interactions between us were noticed by his “work wife” and prompted her to intervene. She showed up to an outing amongst a group of coworkers for the sole purpose of keeping an eye on him, as she was aware that he and I were attending the event quasi-together. The day of that event is when he first kissed me and claimed that he wanted a deeper relationship with me and I’d be the only one, outside of his wife (yes, sick, I know). Well, to speed things up a bit, for he and I, the entire month of April consisted of tons of mushy text exchanges, makeouts at work, and oh yeah… a few sexual encounters. But, I also noticed how there seemed to be an attachment between him and “work wife” that he just couldn’t shake. So, when I pressed him for an answer, he revealed a huge bomb shell secret that involved a pregnancy and an abortion! Finally, it made sense! So, why am I writing? Well, I grew tired of her bold interventions between us and his conscience not allowing him to put her in her place. I’d already, on several occasions, suggested that he and I go our separate ways without hard feelings before things got ugly, because I was pretty sure someone was guaranteed to get hurt in the situation and I was afraid it was likely gonna be me. But, each time I suggested, he declined the “out” and insisted they were just really close friends and said “we’re gonna be fine, Baby.” Well, we were aware that some changes were about to take place at work that were going to seriously decrease the amount of time he and I saw each other and likely increase the amount of time he and “work wife” saw each other. And what happened next is where the s**t really began to stink and piss me off. He seemed to be pulling away from me, looking forward to the change and had the audacity to tell me that the two of them had already compared work schedules to see how often they were going to be working together! WTF?!? Needless to say, this arose some insecurities in me. I questioned him further, made my presence around him more pronounced, and insisted that he handle her. To make this already long story short, she went too far one day at work and I couldn’t take it anymore. I immediately turned off the method of communication he and I were using (IM on the computer) and left the job without speaking another word to him. That was followed by silence until I sent him a furious text the next day telling him everything I’d thought about doing over the course of the night including fillingling “work wife” in on every detail of he and I. This seemed to upset him terribly and he pleaded with me not to tell her that we’d been intimate because he’d lose her “friendship” forever after breaking an agreement they’d made about not getting involved with anyone else at work but each other. He then shortly followed that up with he loved her and didn’t realize it until he knew he’d jeopardized losing her. WHAT?! I asked him then why did he pursue the physical relationship with me claiming to want something genuine if he knew he wasn’t over her. He claimed they were on an “off” period as they’d been growing apart and he found himself attracted to me during that time. But, when she noticed him getting close to me, she decided she wanted to rekindle their affair and he answers her every desire; but I think it’s his conscience after what they went through together. So, I’m writing because I’ve concluded that I was obviously the “rebound girl.” Our thing only lasted physically for ONE month! I don’t even want him, I just don’t like the way he went about using me and then ending it to return to her. Since the ugly fallout, we’ve had a couple of friendly conversations, but he’s mostly concerned that I’m going to let the cat out of the bag to her and coworkers about everything, including their “big secret.” Not to mention, I could go to his wife with everything, so I think he’s just trying to maintain a friendly stance with me. I don’t call or text him. I made an attempt to agree to his friendship request via IM at work one day recently but he pissed me off by stating he needed to implement some “strict stipulations.” “Uh, eff you and your stipulations!” is what I wanted to tell him. Instead, I just told him to disregard my attempt and said no more. A few days later, he entered the breakroom where I was sitting with other coworkers and I ignored him so incredibly bad he must’ve thought I just didn’t realize he was there. He stared at me, stood next to me, left and immediately re-entered the room, tried to make conversation, everything he could think of. Later, he sent an IM saying “well, hello to you too.” I replied “I just hope you’re happy, that’s all. You got what you want, my silence = your happiness, right?” He comes back with “no, I want your friendship also.” That’s when I basically told him how that friendship had suffered major collateral damage as a result of him using me like toilet paper and then expecting me to remain quiet so that he and her could have a blissful reconnect. I then immediately signed off IM. My questions to you and your team are: 1.) Did he use me as a rebound or was he ever genuinely interested? 2.) Why didn’t he take one of the clean “outs” I offered him before things got ugly? 3.) Now that he’s out and back with the girl he claims he loves, why is he insisting on a friendship with me knowing how she feels about me? 4.) Why do I want him to want me back even though I would never put myself through that again? 5.) How should I proceed from here having already blown the NC rule when I responded to his last IM? 6.) Should I just be his friend and expect it to remain as that? Please help; I value you all’s opinion and look forward to getting another view point.
Sincerely,
Silly Girl
action
October 28, 2016 at 7:38 pm
Hey silly girl just wondering how you managed your situation specially having to see him everyday
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 26, 2016 at 11:58 am
Hi Silly Girl,
He’s cheating on his wife and he’s playing you two girls. There’s no such thing as just friends with him. If he really wanted to be friends, then make sure you don’t flirt with him. And I think you’re just justifying his acts by thinking that he’s acting out of conscience. He’s not. The fact that he aborted he’s own child and rekindled his affair and added another one just clearly shows he doesn’t respect women. Move on. You’re hooked to a very dangerous game and it will do you any good.
Jasmine
May 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm
My ex broke up with me less than 2 months ago when we had a fight because he said that i was trying to control him. I was also a little bit needy. At first he was trying to be distant and a little bit angry but i can see him coming closer lately as ive been playing hot and cold. He was my good school friend and he still is. Were both 23. When he comes to school he sits next to me. Sometimes when he greets me he kisses me on the cheek. Few days ago he and his friend came to school with attractive girl that i dont know and i became nervous because i tought that its his new girlfriend then he noticed this and smiled and showed me that its his friends girlfriend. The next day i went to a schools party and he was also there. He tried to hug and touch me at the waist and danced with me while holding my hands. I just accepted. He seemed to be happy while hugging me and his friend applauded us. There was also a guy who was flirting with me at the party and my ex protected me from him. Now its weekend 2 days after the party and he didnt text me neither did i. Is there hope for me? Is he testing me if ive changed or hes only doing ego stroke?
Jasmine
May 10, 2016 at 3:54 pm
He never actually told me lets break up he just distanced himself from me. Should i keep drifting away or should i start acting nicer. I tried to forget about him but i cant and i dont want to. I simply believe that he will be back soon but maybe im lying to myself. Is there a possibility for him to be too much proud boy?
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 14, 2016 at 12:09 pm
YOu should start limited no contact and start to improve yourself and focus on yourself this time.. it means you don’t initiate a talk, and only answer politely direct if ever he approaches you..
EBR Team Member: Amor
May 9, 2016 at 3:21 am
Hi Jasmine,
I think he’s warming up because he sees you’re drifting away.
Sarah
March 31, 2016 at 9:47 am
Hi Chris, thanks for writing so many informative articles, they’ve helped a lot…
I was with my ex a few months last summer, still work with him now though.
We were friendly enough for months but then I found out about a FWB thing he was having with someone at work which started before I even worked there I think, ended just before I worked there, whilst I was seeing him and only reoccurred 5 months after we split. He ended their FWB because she went a bit psycho and demanded a relationship.
Anyway, I just kept my distance.
We text a few times and I ended it on a high like you recommend and then one night he text me and asked me to the movies. (I didn’t dress to kill or anything because I didn’t want to seem like I was trying too hard). He text me twice the next day before I’d replied saying he had a really good time etc…
Now, because we’re friends, I casually asked him to a different movie very subtly because we both wanted to see it..he goes out with the guys instead on the one day and then he didn’t mention the other day we’d provisonally planned (he said Monday OR Tuesday)…so i said do you wanna just make I another night? And he agreed like yeah sure sounds good 🙂
Now I only work with him once, maybe twice a week but yesterday when I did we didn’t say much to each other… I don’t really know what’s going on now, considering how far we’ve come in terms of talking/texting/hanging out again.
I’m guessing I hang back, don’t txt him or anything and wait for him to contact me again? Or do I invite him out in a group with our work friends when we go out? I’m thinking just see him the once a week ish in work and don’t txt him so he won’t see or hear from me unless he makes an effort to?
Thanks again and sorry this was so long!
Sarah
April 3, 2016 at 6:08 pm
So you think I should keep texting him (generally, not in a creepy/stalkerish way), and ask him if he does want to come or not?
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 4, 2016 at 12:27 pm
Nope, it’s like a cycle..repeag from.step 1 of texting contnue to build attraction..be a little bit more flirty this time
EBR Team Member: Amor
April 3, 2016 at 10:54 am
Hi Sarah,
sorry for the late reply.. Yeah, just continue texting and calling for now until he asks again.
In Desperately Need of Your Advice
January 30, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Chris,
I’ve also left you voice mail I’m desperate and am running out of time so I will be really appreciated if you can give me help.
My boyfriend and I are working at the same office and we’ve dated for 8 months. Our relationship started by his request of wanting to get married with me but at the end he broke up with me by saying although I was what he wanted and doesn’t sure how he is going to be happy with his choice, he has to obey his family’s expectations and marry someone more suitable. Which actually was a bit of an excuse since I have changed a lot during the relationship due to his expectations. After the breakup I strictly applied the NC rule and he came back but just for sex. I gave in at that time but then I again cut him off completely for 2 months. Then he came back again but unfortunately it was just for casual hanging again. After a month of chasing period, at a business trip we went together I gave in and we end up being stuck in a FWB situation now for 1.5 months. He is such a good player and now he knows that no matter how many times I say I’m done unless we are committed I will return to him if he plays it cool and keep ignores me at the office. He’s in a very happy place right now with what we are having but it doesn’t lead to a relationship no matter what I do. Since he can get married all of a sudden with an arranged marriage, I am running out of time and I don’t have any option to keep him close. Please help me even though I know the situation is really messy and seems impossible. The NC only keeps him coming back for casual hanging, I know that he is really attracted by me and wants me but I cannot turn this situation for my own good. What should I do know?
In Desperately Need of Your Advice
February 4, 2016 at 6:33 pm
Yes I was talking about using sex like a bait. However, we had a final argument yesterday, he told me he probably won’t sexually desire me anymore since all I did was caprice and my decision has an emotional motive which he clearly doesn’t need. He claimed he can do anything with anyone and doesn’t need me. His attitude was so disrespectful and he didn’t even seem to take me serious. Therefore, I guess NC is my only option now because if I do the opposite and text him he will continue this attitude and keep seeing me in his pocket. He is so good at making me feel guilty and needless I even regretted and questioned my decision. I actually has lost my hope and unfortunately my self-confidence. Yet, I still get power from your motivation. Any final advice?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 5, 2016 at 9:52 am
Focus on building self esteem.. And respect for yourself. Though I understand that you did those out of desperation to get him back, but those actions itself is what’s causing him to disrespect you. I hate to reiterate, but we get the respect we show ourselves. Even the people who has high respect for themselves get disrespected but they know when to put a stop to it and cut ties.
In Desperately Need of Your Advice
February 2, 2016 at 8:29 pm
I made my claim and at first he reacted with such an understanding and kind manner he even attempted to buy me a small gift out of the blue. Then after he realised that I am serious this time, he has gone mad. He had an argument with me ending it by saying that he will never commit into a relationship and he is not the kind of guy who would beg or fit in these structures, then he lost his seriousness again and ended the conversation with some “funny” sexual stuff. Such incredible mood shifts. My final question is, should I apply the NC again now or just friend zone him dangling sex? He was so serious and clear about the commitment part so I guess there really is no turning back. There are some other male co-workers he didn’t want me to talk and I haven’t even after our break up which has been on-off 6 months now. Should I talk to them now as a declaration of “I am moving on (finally)” ? I am writing it such detailed because may be it can help for other readers too. Thanks again 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 11:18 am
Thank you for taking other readers into consideration! You can do nc but remember that the more you do it, the less the effect. What do you mean by dangling sex? stopping it or make him want it?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 3, 2016 at 11:19 am
as in make it like a bait?
In Desperately Need of Your Advice
January 31, 2016 at 10:00 am
Wow Amor thanks for the supportive reply it really gave me the motivation I need. Although I know it’s not what I want, I could never show the restraint due to the fear of loss. Whenever I put the relationship card on the table he never compromises since he is preparing himself for the marriage situation which I cannot show myself as an option again. I guess I have to be strict about it this time and if there is another game plan offer for me please share it with me. Appreciated already thanks again.
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2016 at 1:57 pm
You’re welcome! 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor
January 31, 2016 at 4:10 am
Yes you can turn this situation around girl. This cycle will only stop if you want it to stop. If we experienced maltreatment for the first time, it’s taken as a lesson but if we let it happen again several times, there’s a problem with your standards. He sees that you’re okay in being FWB, so why commit?
Keisha
December 30, 2015 at 4:49 pm
Great article, thank you for your help.
I have a question, what does it mean, my ex said after we broke up: “I love you as a friend, not a lover”.
it’s really confusing for me..
I still love him anyway..
Chris Seiter
January 16, 2016 at 11:14 pm
Have you tried staying friends after the breakup? Is that when he said this to you?
P
October 20, 2015 at 12:45 am
I dated a coworker on and off for about 6 months, but it never progressed into a relationship. In fact, it kind of just dissolved and we never had a conversation about it. Obviously, major communication issues (and I’d say immaturity) there. But for some reason I really want to be in a relationship with this guy… am I just being very dumb? We would have been in a relationship by now if that’s what was ever gonna happen, right?
Chris Seiter
October 20, 2015 at 2:16 am
Why do you think it didn’t progress and how did you end up not talking?
Alexa
October 1, 2015 at 6:01 am
What does it mean when you ex avoids you like the plague? Every time I enter the room he gets very quiet and almost nervous. I always act the same but our mutual friends/coworkers always complain he acts weird/depressed/not himself not happy, especially when I am in the room. Sometimes he will get up and go home, other times he will not talk at all. If co-workers ask him about me he usually says “she is a very nice girl and I loved dating her, it just did not work” ( A month of fighting leading up to mutual breakup)
I am in second week of no contact as best I can be. No texts from him and I ignore him at work as much as possible. Sometimes when he talks to the group it seems like he is addressing me. He says he has a lot of changes he has to make for himself. Last time we did speak, he cried to me saying he is not happy with his life, he is worn out and stressed??
Megan
September 14, 2015 at 6:04 pm
Hello 🙂 so, I am 18 and my ex is 20. We are working together but I think I screwed at no contact. See our relationship was awesome, and ended because of his fear of commitment. We really get along and I am deeply in love with him, buthé has a lot goint on in his life, his future really depends on his grade this year, and probably was scared of all responsabilities since he has never ben in a longer relationship than 7 mounths (in hight school it was awfull). It has been almost one mounth. Since we are good friends, when we see each other at work we talk a little about life, but I never texted him or called him exept once for my phone charger. Actually, it probably looks like i’ve got over him because im so busy, always hanging out with New friends and clubbing. Last time we saw each other hé told me I was pretty, that no one was as good as me, that single life isn’t always as good as is looks, gave me a hug intentionally quothing the notebook. What can I do. He talks about how ive moved on to our mutual friends, but tells me that he doesn’t regret, but I know he wouldn’t tell me he was wrong because of his ego and everything. He really wants us to stay friends (he told me when he broke up) actuelly he said I was the best person he’s met on this earth but then doesn’t make anything to have me back. I am lost.
Megan
September 14, 2015 at 6:05 pm
Sorry for my bad English my phone is in french ?
Beautifull
August 12, 2015 at 2:02 am
My ex and I recently broke up , we haven’t spoke on the phone via texts,emails or phone calls BUT we see each other at work , every time he see’s me he stare at me and yes he is speaking to me every time we see each other and I wasn’t / didn’t expect that , I was looking for a non speaking , no contact vibe from him , but now I’m like , “why is he making eye contact ,speaking to me? , we’re not together anymore . I don’t know what to do ….. FYI : we broke up bc we work in the ship yard , I’m very attractive and many other men are attracted to me , I know what I was doing that he didn’t like , ‘socializing with men ,leading them on knowingly and they like me ‘, he didn’t like that now I’m just moving not even stopping to socialize and he’s seeing that . He seems happy and smile when he see’s me
Chris Seiter
August 19, 2015 at 3:19 pm
So they best thing to do is when you get back together be a little more cautious with his feelings (try not to be flirty with other men when your with him) Your doing all the right things it sounds like so far. I think you’ll get him back pretty easily.
Help
July 3, 2015 at 1:26 pm
Hello. I am having a hard time. I really love my ex. He said he doesn’t love me anymore. We dated for two years. He is now seeing this girl who was suppose to be a friend of mine. What do I do. How can I win him back
Very
June 25, 2015 at 7:39 pm
Hi Chris,
So I am new to this and I needed some advise. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and we both work together! he has told me he cant be with me right now but hes in love with me still. The other day he found out I could potentially be meeting a guy for a drink and he did not like it one bit infact he walked out of work. He keeps telling me to move on as it will never work out and its gone too far and he does not want to see me to talk and I need to get over it (he expressed how much he does not want to see me.. although when I tried and was due to meet someone he text me straight away saying its funny how quick things change!! ARRGGGGG how do I work out what he wants?!
Chris Seiter
June 29, 2015 at 6:24 pm
Have you tried the no contact rule yet?
Kaylee
June 9, 2015 at 4:54 am
Hey Chris, first off thanks for the great advice you give everyone. I’ve also purchased / read PRO. Me and my ex guy are musicians together. We see each other 5-6 times a month. Together approximately 2yrs. Didn’t really have any break up talk. I had to read between lines… so 2 weeks ago decided to start no contact. The past 2 times I saw him I kept it cordial and brief when he spoke to me. the end of both nights he sent me a text message but I did not respond the last one being he hated not having me around to chat. Funny since he cancelled plans twice on me when I wanted to get together. I’m sure he’s dealing with baby momma issues. Anyway today when we were together he got me alone and told me he knew I was ignoring him and would not be sending any more messages that he could take a hint. I didn’t know what to say but I just said okay and that we probably shouldn’t talk about it. I plan on continuing no contact, but I’m not sure how well it will work for me since he will try to talk to me just to get me talking to him. And we have to talk business. What do you think? Will no contact work when its only part time?
Brigid
May 14, 2015 at 6:57 pm
Chris,
My 30 days of no contact went well. He contacted me multiple times, and I never called or texted back.
He even asked me in person if I was getting his calls and texts after every one.
I’ve been professional at work, happy and friendly.
Crossfit doesn’t hurt either.
He came over today to say hello and see my dog. It was friendly, but I didn’t want to be overly friendly. Cautious.
I just got a text that said thank you from him.
I don’t really know where to go from here. I still want to get back with him, but I also don’t want to string myself along if I’ve been friend zoned.
Chris Seiter
May 19, 2015 at 5:26 pm
I think at this point its a smart idea for you to work on building some attraction with him through text messages. Go slowly though.
mandy
May 4, 2015 at 2:58 am
Chris,
My ex and I work in the same industry. We don’t work for the same company, but we do go to the same events. I just started NC five days ago, but there is a huge event coming up on Friday that I’ve been planing on going to since before we broke up. There is a 50/50 chance he will be there. I don’t want to not go since I’ve been looking forward to this event, and there will be a huge group of people there.
I am super serious about doing NC and am concerned that this could throw a wrench in my plan. As of right now I am planing on going to the event and bringing a few work friends with me to act as a buffer and to run interference for me. Do you have any advice? Should I go and just not interact with him? Should I make other plans? I just love this event so much, but I don’t want to ruin my NC.
Thanks!
Is there hope?
April 27, 2015 at 8:01 pm
Hey Chris,
I am wondering if there is a chance it will be harder to get my ex back after NC if he is focused on his (possibly) dying mother. I have confirmed that she is doing okay for now, but will this make a difference in him missing me or deciding to take me back? I see him everyday at work and I feel horrible for not asking about her. Will he think I’ve stopped caring?
jess
April 26, 2015 at 8:57 am
Hello Chris! Does the same concept, flirt and friend zone him, apply when he has a girlfriend?
Chris Seiter
April 27, 2015 at 10:29 pm
Hmm… I don’t think it will be as effective.
Moon
April 25, 2015 at 6:38 pm
My ex, I don’t know what’s on his mind. It seems like he always tries to be nice with me. When I text him, I can feel that he doesn’t care much about the conversation, but he still replies. Today is an example. I texted him about Fast 7 – his favorite movie. I knew that he saw my message because he was on mobile all the time, but he hadn’t replied me yet. But after 3 hours at the middle of the night, he texted me a goodnight message. He is trying to be nice right? He is afraid of hurting me or he still have feeling for me and still confusing about the relationship (I mean he is having an idea of coming back)????? Of course I am really afraid that he will be cold to me, but I really want him to show his attitude clearly. He’s unclear now. He makes me keep hope and I don’t want to be disappointed.
Moon
April 28, 2015 at 6:15 pm
Yesterday I sent a ‘goodnight’ message to him, used some nick name we used to use. But he didn’t reply anymore. What does he want?????
Chris Seiter
April 27, 2015 at 10:15 pm
I wasn’t as into Fast 7…
He is trying to be nice and its going to take baby steps to get him back but you are making progress slowly but surely.
Meo
April 25, 2015 at 3:34 pm
I have done 30 days of NC. Today I texted him a ‘celebrity comparison’ message but he didn’t reply. I am really upset now :-< He had replied positively many message of mine, but this time, he didn't. It seems like I reached his limitation that he can't be nice with me anymore :((
Chris Seiter
April 27, 2015 at 10:11 pm
I guess he wasn’t in to the celebrity comparison, huh?
What celebrity did you use?