Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

79 thoughts on “Why Did My Ex Boyfriend Break Up With Me”

  1. Victoria

    February 4, 2017 at 2:10 am

    Thank you for the amazing articles they are really helping me get some clarity during this rough patch. My boyfriend of 3 years decided to break up a few days ago and I have been devasted. Our break up has been a neutral one. Essentially, he is having many personal problems with his family, and who he is as a person. In his own words he said that he could no longer be with me as he needs to find himself and become a better person. In the best way I could I told him that I understand and that I will support him with his decision. He told me that he loves me no matter what and would like to remain friends and stay in touch as he manages with himself, but told me not to wait for him. I appreciate that he has broken up in respect to me instead of dragging me down in his soul searching.

    However, I’m not sure if I can ever play the ‘just friends’ at the moment. He wanted to see me the day after the break up and he got angry when’s I didn’t reply back fast enough. I would like to try the no contact technique to help me move on and to see if he is willing to keep our connection that we have. I love him and miss him dearly we are best friends, and I know he feels the same. I’m finding it hard that it’s over and I would take him back once I see noticeable changes in his life and he is doing something for himself and is happy to look himself in mirror. I guess it’s not that easy.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 4, 2017 at 12:33 pm

      Hi Victoria,

      I Answered your first post, I think your plan is good..

  2. Victoria

    February 4, 2017 at 12:16 am

    My boyfriend and I have just ended 3 year relationship. We had amazing 3 years together, we were in some ways different people, we never clashed heads or fought. And when we did fight we would resolve the argument straight away. Before we broke up I made a small suggestions of ways our relationship could improve. After that conversation he came to see me as because he is becoming depressed – not because of me but other personal/family reasons. He told me he needed a break to find himself as he is at a loss at the moment. I told him in the best way I could and that is I understand what he is going through and I would support him by giving the space he needs. Following this almost a week later – we broke up.

    It’s been only a couple of days. Upon refelecting this he broke up with me because he respected me and would like to remain friends while he works things out, but still wants to see me regularly. He doesn’t want me waiting on him either, which I get. But I love him and miss him extremely (my heart aches and my head hurts) and he loves/misses me as well, it was such a neutral break up. I would like to try the 30 day rule and completely ignore him then try to do the ‘friends’ thing, and maybe try to meet some new guys to see if he is the one that I want. Does this sound plausible?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 4, 2017 at 12:30 pm

      Hi Victoria,

      yes, that’s good!

  3. Macey

    January 31, 2017 at 12:13 am

    we were each others first loves and everything was perfect. We were madly in love with each other until school started. He was working more and I was studying a lot so we didn’t see each other which started fights that didn’t need to happen. He broke up with me because he didn’t feel the same way anymore and kept telling me that he wants us focus on his studies and once school ends we can try to work things out again. He gave me hope and one night he said that he wants to know what it’s like being with someone else. My 30 days of no contact is coming up and I want to contact him. I feel like some of the stuff he said about what it’s like to be with someone else was because I kept trying to convince him to get back together with me. I want to start talking to him to build rapport. Do you think I have a chance?

    1. Macey

      January 31, 2017 at 5:24 pm

      He’s likes football so I was going to say something to him the day of the super bowl for our first contact which is this weekend and was going to build from there. Should I extend it? What if I posted on social media while talking to him? So I would indirectly be posting about my improvements while increasing our communication to rebuild attraction. Or would you still stuck to an extended contact? The last time we talked was when he told me about maybe we should see other people and then I started no contact to improve myself and increase him missing me.

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 11:06 am

      ah..I still think you should extend so, that when he gets curious after your first contact, he has something to see.. and after 45 days, you should still be active in improving and posting while building rapport with him

    3. Macey

      January 31, 2017 at 3:47 pm

      I’ve improved a lot. I’ve gone to therapy to deal with my anxiety through the whole situation. I’ve started yoga and have been hanging out with friends. I feel like I’ve changed a lot! The 30 days also gave me a lot of time to think of ways we could of worked around all the fights. Honestly on social media I deactivated my Facebook the day after he told me that he wanted to see what it’s like to be with someone else. I didn’t want to see any pictures if he did find someone. I still have him on snapchat and I’ve posted probably 3 stories in the past 30 days. We both are following each other on Instagram still but I haven’t posted any pictures and he rarely gets on but his best friend and sister still follow me.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2017 at 4:43 pm

      actually you have to be active in posting in social media.. I think you need to extend to 45 days..because that’s your indirect way of showing your improvements.. and when did he tell you he wants to try with somebody else? is it during the nc period?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      Hi Macey,

      how much did you improve in the last 30 days and were you active in posting in social media?

  4. Jesse

    January 30, 2017 at 4:26 pm


    My ex and I had a good conversation on the phone last night. We talked for over an hour. We both said that we’ve cried everyday since breaking up two months ago and that we only really remember the good things and he said we were really great friends in the relationship. We also said that we didn’t really want to talk about the past. But he also said that the relationship was super stressful and that we aren’t right for each other. I agreed that it was good for us to separate. He said it was risky to meet up next week to see what it would like to be friends, but he was willing to take the risk as long as we were honest with ourselves and each other about how it made us feel. But he clarified that it was only as long as we agreed that it wasn’t a meet up to get back together. He said we could probably never get back together.

    But I guess I feel like I am ready to start dating again and still DO want to be together, taking things very very slowly, especially now that we have a clean slate. What do I do? Should I text him to cancel and let him know that I still want us to work? Do I meet up with him and see how it goes and say at the end that talking to him on the phone and now seeing him has made me realize that, while I’m glad we separated and wasn’t sure what I wanted, I’ve since realized that I want him as my family, not just as my friend? And that I’ll probably never want only friendship from him? Do I tell him that this separation has provided me with the power to believe in us again?

    1. Jesse

      February 1, 2017 at 4:30 pm

      But how do I keep it short, light and fun, while still talking about couples counseling? How do I do both? Based on our conversation, how much of a shot do I seem to have?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 2, 2017 at 4:10 pm

      honestly it’s small because he said he doesn’t want to go back together..So, he has to see you in a different light first.
      don’t overthink.just be normal. Dress well, smell good, smile, greet him, talk about what’s current in your lives and what’s happening around you at that time

    3. Jesse

      February 1, 2017 at 1:16 am

      (Though I am the bottom)

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 2:18 pm

      owkie! No worries! I think that’s a good convo. Look your best when you meet up and keep it short, light and fun

    5. Jesse

      February 1, 2017 at 1:12 am

      Our counselor texted me today so I let him know about it and this is how it went:

      Did Will text you again?
      No, did he text you?
      Yeah. Why is he being so persistent? You literally said no. Is he that strapped for cash?
      What did he say?
      “Have thought about our work and what you would like to do?”
      Which, thanks for full sentences
      Did you reply?
      Not yet I wanted to touch base with you first
      What are you thinking? What do you want to do?
      You want to just talk about it in person?
      Sure, we can do.
      Alright, I’ll just relay the sitch

      What’s your advice? Also, I’m not a girl. I’m gay.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2017 at 1:03 pm

      Hi Jesse,

      if you want him back, you have to use this opportunity to start out as friends and then slowly reattract him.. like what he said, the relationship was too stressful, he doesn’t want to get back together now,.so agree.. He has to think that you’ve moved on and he has to see you in a different light, better and attractive for him to think you’re not the same girl he used to know.
      don’t say you’ve changed.. that’s so obvious that you’re just trying to convince him..

  5. Ola

    January 29, 2017 at 6:43 pm

    My ex and I broke up few months ago. I had done the no contact rule, than I started texting him. We are seeing each other right now ( sometimes we have sex) I know that he feels something to me but he is afraid of getting back together, he prefers to be single in case he finds someone better. Besides he is very ambitious and he has good grades at his studies so he said that he doesnt want a relationship with me, because he has to be focused at this. Right now he has a lot of exams and since 8th January we haven’t seen each other. I offered him a meeting 4 times but he didn’t want to meet, because he hasn’t got free time. I don’t know how to act, should I offer him meeting in future or wait? How should I behave to convince him that I can be the best girl for him so he could get back to me? Please help me

    1. Ola

      February 1, 2017 at 10:16 am

      Unfortunately there is another problem. Yesterday he told me that he is dating someone. He decided to stop friends with benefits but we can stay just normal friends. I will do the nc contact again but how to win with this other girl? What if after 45 days he wouldn’t want to meet with me?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2017 at 3:20 pm

      dont ask to meet right away after 45 days.. set aside thinking about the other girl because what’s more important is that you raise your value in his eyes

    3. Ola

      January 31, 2017 at 7:57 am

      Yes I am, but I don’t know what to do next.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 31, 2017 at 4:05 pm

      ok..first, stop chasing and dont ever sleep with him again if you’re not officially back together because he only views you as his friend with benefits right now.
      Since you already did nc, it would have lesser chance of helping you but it’s still better to do it again to get out of the cycle.. Focus in having your own life. Do new things and make new friends, after it slowly rebuild rapport again and refuse sleeping with him coz there’s a high chance he will try again since that’s how he sees you.. Refusing and continuing on improving yourself is your way of raising value while rebuilding rapport. You don’t convince somebody to be attracted to you, it’s the physical looks, character, actions, and values that attract a person..do at least 45 days..

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 30, 2017 at 1:37 pm

      Hi Ola,

      You have to stop sleeping with him first.. Are you going to do that?

  6. A heartbroken fan

    January 26, 2017 at 2:03 pm

    Chris chris chris…I wanted to tell you how amazing and empowering your articles are for womens going through the toughest time in their life. I myself is seperated from my husband at the moment & he has decided he wants to end our marriage. I don’t know if I will ever get him back, but I wanted to thank you for writing all this amazing articles, they have taught me so much about relationships.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2017 at 8:50 am

      Thank you! I’ll forward this to Chris

1 2