Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

129 thoughts on “What Your Ex Boyfriends Age Can Tell You About Him”

  1. Brandy

    April 10, 2015 at 12:55 pm

    Hello Chris

    I’m hurting right now and could use some advice. Me and my ex were together for 13 months. He has always hated me drinking and I have become way more settled now than I have ever in my life. We went away about a month ago and I got drunk and when we came back he asked me to give up drinking for the rest of my life. I told him I would but then realized that it was unrealistic to promise that. He told me it was over because I couldn’t commit to that so I left, I waited for him to contact me after three days, he asked me how I was feeling and then I just said I’m sorry, I miss you and I will do as you wish, you win, I quit! . He wasn’t really reply back to me, then he messaged me saying he needs to focus on school and work, he just started a new job and is studying after work for school. So I went to get my things and ended up staying the night asking him if we were ok he just said we need a break and I told him I loved him and he said I love you too. The next day I asked him if we are ok, he says we need to take a break and we will see. I know he cares about me but he’s being so distant . What do I do ? I miss him so much I am willing to quit drinking forever and he knows that.

  2. Brandy

    April 10, 2015 at 12:54 pm

    Hi chris do you still reply on here or do you have another page ?

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 16, 2015 at 4:38 pm

      I still reply here.

  3. sabrina

    February 8, 2015 at 8:53 pm

    hi there,
    my ex is 28. the problem is he has no job and no idea what to do with himself. i think in part it contributed to breaking up with me, even though he told me he doesn’t love me or miss me and tat’s why he’s breaking up with me… ( the night before it was a different story… i’m confused and don’t know what i want in life an don’t want to drag you into the rabbit hope as it were…). if the real reason is confusion are my chances to get him back better or worse? i’m so confused… don’t understand if that the case and he loves me why not work through it together?? we were together fo almost 2 years. we’ve been though a lot f changes…
    any incite??

    1. admin

      February 9, 2015 at 4:47 pm

      Have you done NC yet?

    2. sabrina

      February 10, 2015 at 7:17 am

      i held my ground for 3 weeks. broke and texted him. he was cold and distant with his replies. it seemed that he had allready written me off as history…

  4. Rachel

    February 2, 2015 at 1:00 am

    Can someone feel like they haven’t found “the one” and then eventually change their mind?

    1. admin

      February 2, 2015 at 2:34 pm

      Yes, happens all the time.

  5. bewildered

    January 30, 2015 at 7:14 pm

    I’m not sure if this is the right place for this, but I need to vent/ask the internet….I’m in day 5 of NC after my boyfriend broke up with me. We were together for 7 months, 4 months of which I was pregnant. After I had a miscarriage he started to pull away. We had some strong conversations – never a fight per se – after which he would give me the silent treatment and I acted….clingy and needy, calling and texting then realizing it wouldn’t work and gave him some time and then he eventually called. The third time this happened I did stop calling, but I texted him once a day: pep talks (for his new job), things that I thought he would find funny (I know! I know! still needy and gnat-ty). Finally last Saturday he sent me an email to breakup, this is what he wrote (I’ll note that I hadn’t called him in 2 weeks):

    I am sorry that I am not interested in continuing a relationship with you. I wish I knew a way to put it more tenderly, but deference is not my strength. The relentless texting, calling, and gifting must stop. I have repeatedly told you this. Don’t lie. It is disrespectful. Unfortunately I do not think we can be friends either. I find your behavior offensive, and I feel my only course of action is end all communication and all contact.

    Is there any chance for us? Has anyone been able to recover from this level of antagonism?

    1. admin

      January 31, 2015 at 3:45 pm

      Good news!

      You came to the right place.

      Sorry abou tthe breakup.

      Was there an age difference or something with you and him?

    2. bewildered

      January 31, 2015 at 9:56 pm

      no – I’m 37; the pregnancy was an accident but he told me he was ready to settle down. After the miscarriage I was really freaked out and I think that freaked him out and he started to pull away….then it was just this vicious cycle of me being needy and him getting more and more distant over the course of 3 months. Even with only 6 days of NC I can look at my texting and see it was over the top (don’t worry, I’ll stick to 30 days), and I’m so disgusted with myself. I’m worried that it isn’t something he will forgive me for and I hate that he things so poorly of me (my “offensive behavior”). ugh

    3. admin

      February 2, 2015 at 1:47 pm

      How over the top are we talking here?

    4. bewildered

      February 5, 2015 at 12:09 am

      how over the top is what I described? I’m almost two weeks in, and he hasn’t tried to contact me, do you think based on his email he will forgive/forget?

    5. admin

      February 5, 2015 at 3:26 pm

      I think he will forgive but I don’t think he will forget…

      No one really forgets to be honest.

    6. bewildered

      February 2, 2015 at 3:36 pm

      1-2 texts a day (without replies), no begging or pleading. reminders that I believe in him to be able to be able to make his business work, a couple unanswered questions (about insurance that he said he would send me earlier), and a couple saying that I was okay with him taking as much space as he wanted (which was why I wasn’t calling). looking back on them now, it was like I was having a conversation with myself – so I feel like it was a little cray-cray. I hate read notifications – I could see that he was reading them so I kept writing….

    7. bewildered

      January 31, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      one more thing to add: I haven’t tried to contact him since the day he sent me the email, but I did reply to that email by text that day to tell him he was a jerk (yes, mature) and he has read notifications on so I could see that he read it. So, he didn’t block me (phone or text) and we’re still Facebook friends (he didn’t unfriend me). And no, I haven’t messaged him on Facebook or otherwise acknowledged his existence.

    8. bewildered

      January 30, 2015 at 7:37 pm

      also, the reason I posted it here, he’s 40

  6. Jane

    October 1, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    All he does is party. He is apparently dating some new girl, and im pretty sure she is a rebound. 1) because he didn’t even break up with me just cheated and started to ignore me and 2) all he does is go out to drink and party, with her and without her. He has technically cheated on her with me and then also on multiple others. We never drank or went to parties ever, the rare occasion, we thought it was pointless. Oh does it change the fact im pregnant and due in a month. My question is why is he just partying, and then that all they do?

    1. admin

      October 3, 2014 at 1:58 pm

      Wait, your pregnant with his child??? And all he wants to do is party???

    2. meriem

      October 5, 2014 at 11:19 am

      hi chris it’s me again about this guid my ex is 27 he was talking about our future together but the few last months he got a new job so for 6 months they didn’t pay him so he is without money literally because the last time we saw each other i payed fo lunch because he hadn’t any money.so he told me i’m lost and i can hold you now because i don’t know where i’m going it’s not clear for him when he will be ready to get married so he broke up with me and started playing around.my question is what do you think is it real that his situation is the reason that made him broke up with me or he just isn’t ready to commit to meso he made that up!!!!!!

    3. Jane

      October 4, 2014 at 2:27 pm

      He’s also in university and ignoring me for two months now, hanging out with this girl (supposedly dating but cheating on her with others, and apparently he was cheating on me with her and her with me.)but constantly partying, and talking badly about me. I don’t know why he is lying about me, and also partying non stop with this girl, and others. I don’t know what I can do, besides no contact but I honestly don’t think that will help anything?

    4. admin

      October 6, 2014 at 11:57 am

      And you want this person back because???

    5. Jane

      October 18, 2014 at 3:00 pm

      Which is also why he completely ignores me like I don’t exists? Will that ever stop?
      No contact doesn’t work since its been two months and he hasn’t said a word to me.

    6. Jane

      October 4, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      pretty much my question was/is why is he partying non stop and ignoring me while im preganant, rather then to work things out and figure everything out (im due in a month) and to why he is lying and speaking badly of me and sleeping around.

      we are also in our early 20’s

    7. admin

      October 6, 2014 at 11:57 am

      He is probably afraid that his life is going to be over once the baby comes…

  7. B.

    September 18, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Hey Chris! I got a random question.

    Is it easier to get back an ex who may not have as many options when it comes to women?

    The way I see it is a guy who can get any girl he wants may not be in a hurry to go back to a girl. Where as a guy who may not be the best with women (socially awkward, not as attractive. etc.) probably will be more open to getting back together. I’ve dated gorgeous men and uh less gorgeous men and I have found the better looking they are the less often they came back. I’d probably say 7/10 relationships I’ve had they came back. Whether it took them a week or 2 years most came back.

    Maybe you can write an article about it.

    1. admin

      September 29, 2014 at 12:43 pm

      I would say yes, it is probably easier to get someone back like that.

  8. Artemis

    September 10, 2014 at 11:23 pm

    Its been 6 months and its me again! I had a wonderful relationship traveling the world for a year with my now ex, aged 25, (I’m 26). I now am settled in a town near him because of work. I made the mistake of text messaging him a month ago saying I still loved him and missed him. He replied that it had been 6 months and that he couldn’t “be a part of my life” until I was completely over him. Our breakup 6 months ago was sudden, unexpected and we still loved each other. But he absolutely wants nothing to do with me now. I don’t understand his complete 180 of being “in love” with me, to not wanting any form of communication. I tried to do NC for 30 days but at the end of it I may have texted him that I missed him… Obviously I got no reply as that was a bit too strong. I’ve become the ungettable girl, I have plenty of guys who want to date me but I’m still stuck on my ex. Give up or give NC another go?

  9. A

    September 3, 2014 at 2:22 am

    Hi, Chris! I’ve actually never been more confused in my life:

    I’ve been reading your guides for a while since my bf of 5 years dumped me in October for no describable reason. I’ve pretty much been in NC since February because every time I tried to ask questions about why the hell he broke up with me he acted like I was stabbing him. I think it was because we were getting ready to move in together and he panicked.

    Somehow despite all of this it was really hard because I felt that he was not only my best friend, but my soulmate because of how deeply we connected, and how we had the same values and wanted the same things in life. Dating other people only solidified this belief, and made me sadder because I couldn’t talk to him. Even though I wanted him back I didn’t try because even after months of NC if I contacted him he treated me with this intense suspicion, like he thought if he allowed it I would somehow trick him into being my bf again. It was strange because he contacted me and showed up at my house whenever he wanted, and I didn’t like that, so a few months ago I finally told him I never want you to contact me again, and I will never contact you. And that’s how it was even though I missed him.

    So, I’d given up on him, and actually had an existential crisis because I KNEW he was my soulmate, and that meant at age 30 I’d resigned myself to settling for either being alone or being with someone I didn’t connect with or deeply love and understand. This was like a big deal that lasted for weeks and made me extremely depressed. I almost lost my faith in everything, and then one night I decided to pray about finding love one last time and then let go of any effort on my own part. So I did, and I finally felt a sense of peace and happiness again.

    Within days I was checking Missed Connections, because they’re hilarious, and I’m obsessed with them, but not in any serious way, and I saw that he’d written one for me. It said he loved me, missed me, regretted breaking up with me, was sorry for the pain he put me through, was sorry that he lost his best friend, that his soul was scared, that the city felt empty without me, and that he was having a hard time trying to keep from contacting me. So that’s a VERY strange situation because I kind of feel like that’s pretty much ALMOST everything someone in my situation would want to hear. I didn’t know how to respond because the only thing he didn’t say was that he wanted me back, and I didn’t even want to allow my brain to go there. After a couple of days I called him, and I was like, “so what was that about?” and he just said his life truly sucked without me, but he didn’t want to toy with my emotions. And I was like, “oh yeah, I miss you too,” and then we talked for a couple of hours like old times.

    So, we’ve talked a few times since then, but he’s not making any effort to reach out or move things forward, and I’m afraid if I ask, “did you want to get back together,” that he’ll panic and retreat, or act like I’m trying to trick or manipulate him, but it’s been 10 days since I read that message, and I thought I’d have clarity if I was patient, but every day I’m only more confused. I’ve been reading your guides, but I can’t find anything that explains how to handle this situation.

    Should I bring it up or ask him? Or just give up?

    1. admin

      September 3, 2014 at 3:42 pm

      I think he wants you back… His actions are clear about that.

    2. A

      September 5, 2014 at 3:15 am

      As usual, you are the best, Chris! Thanks for your quick reply.

    3. admin

      September 5, 2014 at 12:37 pm

      No problem!

      Anything else?

    4. A

      September 7, 2014 at 10:23 am

      You are awesome. Thanks for asking! Here’s an update:

      Friday, he texted me incessantly to find out if I’d heard about a job I’d interviewed for – an interview that he apparently got me. I didn’t find out until after my 1st interview, which was a surprising revelation from the HR manager considering that we hadn’t spoken for months at the point. After MUCH anticipation I was told I won’t find until next week. He found out I was unwinding at the park and volunteered to come up. He found out that he did not get a job he’d interviewed for earlier, and we were discussing how taxing the search can be, and I put my head on his shoulder, and he put his arm around me.

      I ended up telling him about how I was a badass in Krav Maga, and he somehow persuaded me to come to his house to try his punching bag. But I realized I was going because I wanted to be with him, not because I felt like boxing, and I didn’t want to follow him around like in the past, so I told him I didn’t really want to go and I went home.

      Saturday, I spent the day reassessing my life and trying to figure out what I was going to do if I didn’t get the job. At the park we’d both talked about how we wanted to move to a new city and start over and how we had the same career goals. Given that conversation and what he said in message about still loving me I needed to know if he was thinking about doing that together or separately, so I called him and just very casually said what I just told you. I didn’t think I was too invested in his answer because I’ve been planning my life without him for a long time, but when he said, “I’m in love with you, and I’ll always love you, and I want to be here for you, and I won’t push you away or read into things when you put your head on my shoulder, but no, I can’t be the person you need me to be.” Well, that felt like… there are no words… but I played it cool on the phone, and I didn’t try to reinterpret or convince him otherwise.

      He’s not in a good place with his career, and I think he needs the freedom to pursue, live, and travel wherever, and not feel like he has to worry about taking care of me or miss opportunities. I understand that, but I’m beyond devastated. I’m honestly surprised by my reaction because I didn’t think I even cared.

      He texted me NON-STOP after we had our talk about my linkedin profile (which I did not ask him about), and 1-second after he said he had to stop texting me and get back to work he called me and talked to me about job hunting for an hour. I kind think he feels guilty about not being able to be who I need him to be, so he’s trying to help me move my life forward in some other way. My career is my priority and I look forward to it, but I guess I wanted to share my journey with him.

      He’s always been my best friend, and he’s the only friend I have who understands me, cares about what’s happening day-to-day, and is supportive, so it’s hard for me to lose that again since I just got it back, but his answer was pretty clear. Do you think I should cut off contact and finally let go?

    5. A

      September 3, 2014 at 2:36 am

      Just read this guide in more detail. He’s 31, and he broke up with me after months of financial instability during a career transition. He was desperately seeking a comfortable career. He’s doing better, but he’s not where he wants to be, comfort-wise his career is still unpredictable. But he thinks I’m the One. So I don’t know where that leaves me. SOL?

  10. Clarissa

    September 2, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Here’s a simple question.

    How come my ex still tells me he loves me and cares about me but doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me? Yet every time we talk he only has good, positive things to say.

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 2:31 pm

      Because he doesn’t want to hurt your feellings most likely but the fact the he is positive is a good sign.

  11. Mashrura Chowdhury

    September 1, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My names Mashrura. My boyfriend and I have broken up on August 6 and he decided on the no contact rule-he doesn’t want any virtual conection with me but if we bump into eachother we shall say hi. I have broken the no contact rule and talked to him on many occassions and have met him once then had to restart the NC rule all over again and its extremely hard not being able to contact him. Hes blocked me on Facebook and instagram and shall unblock me when he has forgotten his feelings for him. He gave me a condition for his return- if I change and he thinks and Im worthy and hes not with someone else, he shall take me back but due to our issues during the relationship, he wont be able to trust me. Hes all the way in Canada (he recently left for college) while im here in Bangladesh waiting to go off to college soon. Since hes in Canada, he has changed his number, and i dont know how to contact him other than using the app snapchat. This is very diffult for me, because i truly love him and want him to understand that im extremly sorry and im waiting for him. I do want him to come back, remember what we had once but hes very stubborn and hes mindset on forgetting me. I really need to know, how to win him back and change his mind towards all this. What should I do? Thank you

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 1:46 pm

      Well, the no contact rule is a great place to start.

    2. Mashrura Chowdhury

      September 2, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      Well how long shall the no contact rule go on for? One time or another shouldn’t we try communicating and start mending the broken bridges and get back together? Im very confused right now about all this. I really am trying to win him back since I believe we truly love eachother but we need a time off to realize that and go on with other important things. What else can I do for him to realize he still loves me and im the one for him. I also want him to feel attracted to me again and see a change. Is it possible to make him see me differently and come back?

    3. admin

      September 3, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      21 days -30 days depending on your situation.

  12. Joanna

    August 30, 2014 at 5:29 am

    It’s apparent that my ex and I have strong chemistry. We spend a lot of time together. He kisses my cheeks and hugs me a lot. He does everything for me that one would do in a relationship except for making out etc and is extremely sweet. But he says that we are friends. Maybe we need some space. It’s been three months since the breakup (he left me).
    I didn’t contact him at all for the first month. I dont understand where he is going with this. He’s probably confused himself. So the question is, which move to play next?

    1. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 12:18 pm

      Yep you hit the nail right on the head, more space might be great for you.

    2. Joanna

      August 31, 2014 at 12:09 am

      Today he asked me to move on because all that happened was in the past and we need to focus on new beginnings and people and that relationships aren’t on his priority list anymore. I feel crumbled..

  13. Brittany

    August 28, 2014 at 1:58 pm

    Hi Chris,
    My ex boyfriend is 27. We only knew each other for 3 months and we dated for 2 of those months. This month he just started a new job and he is also coaching so he works about 14 hour days Monday-Friday, plus he plays basketball for fun in his free time. Well when he broke up with me he said it was because he did not have the time for a committed relationship and that he basically wanted to be alone. He said that he wants to be friends and that we can still hang out. And I don’t remember if I asked him this but he said that if his schedule gets better or something like that, that maybe we can try it again later. I texted him the day after we broke up basically saying that I was sad and missed him and how I wasn’t going to text him again unless i heard from him. I told him to text me when he wants a relationship with me and that I don’t want to be toyed with. If he is not interested with me to please let me know bc as much as it would hurt id rather deal with it now instead of sitting here hoping and waiting for something to happen that you don’t want. I need to know if this is truly just a break or if this is the end . I am really hoping you want a relationship with me down the road, but if you don’t think you will please let me know. Well his respond to that text was Hi. I think we can have a relationship in the future. I am not leading you on.
    So i guess my question is what should I make of this? Should I believe him since I gave him a way out in that text?

    1. Brittany

      August 28, 2014 at 2:06 pm

      Oh and the day he broke up with me i texted him saying would you say this a break or are we just done? and his response was would you like to call it a break? and I said yes I would like to call it a break and he said ok.
      I am not really sure what to think of the whole situation. I don’t know if he is just trying to be nice or if he really means what he is saying bc he said this the day before I sent him the long text about how if he isn’t interested or doesn’t want a relationship with me down the road to let me know.

    2. admin

      August 29, 2014 at 11:47 am

      Did he seem sad/upset to be going on a break?

  14. Joanna

    August 21, 2014 at 11:30 am

    He says he loves me but he doesn’t do enough to make the relationship work. My question is, under what circumstances is it advisable to go into no contact again?

    1. admin

      August 25, 2014 at 11:58 am

      I think now would be ideal!

  15. Missing him

    August 21, 2014 at 1:42 am

    Hey Chris!
    Great article!! So on my other comment you told me the other girl he was looking at was the ” ungettable girl” and you are probably right. But how do I come over her in that? Is there a way? Well the other day my ex favorited a tweet saying ” isn’t it weird that some up at two am missing someone and there’s other people asleep with no idea there being missed” this through me of a bit cause I didn’t know if it were about me or not.

    he also favorited another tweet saying
    ” if a person wants to be apart of your life, they would make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who don’t make an effort to stay.”

    Ya I’ve got to admit he does have a point. But is all of this towards me? Is it me that he misses? Am I the person he isn’t reserving a place for? I don’t know where to go from here.. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like him. I don’t he has openly said to her oh I like you. Every thing runs through my mind all day but I don’t know what to do. Every picture, status, quote he favorites really kills me inside because it leaves me wondering. We dated for 3 years and have been broken up for 10 months

    1. admin

      August 25, 2014 at 11:58 am

      You mean overcome?

      Well, you probably have to become more of an ungettable girl than her. Therefore you are the more attractive option.

    2. Missing him

      September 1, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      How can I become that over her? And I have found out that they have the same lake house next to each other and they hang out a lot what can u do with this? Does he even remember me?

    3. admin

      September 2, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      Of course he remembers you. Why do you think he doesn’t?

    4. Missing him

      September 4, 2014 at 3:28 am

      It just feels as if he doesn’t want anything to do with me. It’s really heart breaking and I just figured out a few days ago we will be having a few classes together in school. I just feel like he is really over me..:( and not going to lie I was sorta excited to have him in a few of my classes but I really don’t know. I was excited because maybe something would change between us because we haven’t spoken to each other in about 11 months. Do you have any advice about reatraction?
      Thanks for all your help Chris!!

  16. ABrokenGirl

    August 18, 2014 at 8:08 pm

    hey Chris,
    my ex is 17 years. we broke up since 3 months but he’s so stubberned to get back. I tried everything didn’t beg except once though in a time I thought it was ready to beg 😉 tried no contact, even recently I tried to test him by blaming him for hanging a lot with an other girl though I know she doesn’t have feeling for him, I think nor does he lol. but when I act upset of him without yelling or anything he explained himself and he asked me why do I think this, and he cared if I am still upset or no. only reason for the break up was that he lost interest and ah he said it’s a final decision..:(
    when I begged for him he said sorry I can’t take you back even if I want. because I feel I won’t be commited and I never want to dump you again.
    please help I still love him a lot think he does too.
    what should I exactly do now?
    and do you think he’ll ever change his word? or it doesn’t worth to try more.
    any answer would be appreciated, thanks a lot for your work! 🙂

    1. admin

      August 19, 2014 at 2:26 pm

      17 years old eh. I think you are being too available for him. Thats your issue.

    2. ABrokenGirl

      August 19, 2014 at 7:05 pm

      oh thanks for the fast reply, yes I think you are totally right, but what should I do to don’t be to available for him? can you please give an advice for this or if you get time to write a topic about how to act with EX’s who are so stubberned to get back after regaining there trust and renewing there feelings?

    3. admin

      August 25, 2014 at 11:22 am

      Well, I have learned that it takes incredible discipline and you have to put yourself in his shoes a lot.

    4. ABrokenGirl

      August 21, 2014 at 11:43 pm

      hello Chris, it’s me again, wanted to update something.
      I think I made a big mistake:( a guy asked me out he treats me real good I think both of us doesn’t take the relation seriously though and I explained to him everything about my ex before the relation. but now I don’t feel so good being with someone else, should I end it or what? and about my ex I am not sure if he got angry, but he made a joke “no I wouldn’t eat you anymore” because we used to always have a joke “I’ll eat you” (cuz im short and fit haha) well anyways my questions are:
      1. should I end this relationship now?
      2. did I now ruined all my chances to get hmy ex back? and what should I do and behave?
      please help Chris this became so hard… thanks

  17. Kelly

    August 18, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    I have been meeting men that are in there late 40s and 50s that want a younger (much younger) girl..midlife crisis time…. Hollywood sucks. .they tell u whats pretty, want to eat, how to dress,&so on! Why are men at this age wanting younger girls or Hollywood beautiful. Im 45 and attractive not perfect body wise (but working on it).but I want a man to realize we get older. We cant stay pretty. Alot say” I want to date but nothung serious.” They wont even get to know you or spend quality time. So I quit looking but younger ones want me but im no cougar. And my kids are grown so I look for alittle older so I dont have to deal with kids. Im a grandma now..lol..wish men can be realistic.

    1. admin

      August 19, 2014 at 2:22 pm

      Probably the midlife crisis type of deal. They are growing bored of their marriage maybe…

      They know they can control someone who is younger maybe.

  18. Kristen

    August 17, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    Great article here! I really like this one, especially for the comfortable career part. My ex broke up with me after a time when he quit a job that was too stressful for him. He was jobless for a few months and then got a new job that was still stressful but nothing like the previous job he had. He moved in with some friends around this time and his financial situation wasn’t the greatest at the time when he broke up with me. I can’t be too sure exactly, but part of me thinks that this is the reason that he broke up with me. He would tell me he is going to marry me some day, he wanted to buy a house together, and he wanted to have kids with me someday. I can’t help but wonder to this day if the reason he broke it off was because he was uncomfortable with his career and financial situation. This could very well be a reason to break off a relationship after a year, no?

    1. admin

      August 18, 2014 at 1:00 pm

      It could be… There is probalby more to it than that but I feel this could be a contributing reason.

  19. Lia

    August 16, 2014 at 3:50 am

    Hi Chris, I must say I have learned much about male psychology from your blog. So thank you!

    My ex and I were in a long distance relationship, then he broke it off because he couldn’t trust me (he has trust issues as he was cheated on in his previous relationship). I had tried to talk to him but he always ignored me. So I eventually went into no contact with him. 2 weeks later, I updated a profile pic with a kid on whatsapp. Then he messaged me angrily saying that I have found a guy who has a kid! I didn’t respond because he was so angry. But when I messaged him back after a week to tell him I have not found another man, he was very angry because I ignored him by not responding before….and then he has blocked me on whatsapp. I mean, he was the one to walk away and ignore me for weeks, then he suddenly appeared and got mad that I didn’t respond immediately to his delusional remarks. Why is acting like this??

    1. admin

      August 18, 2014 at 12:49 pm

      What spawned his trust issues? Like what caused him to have them?

    2. Sam

      August 18, 2014 at 2:29 pm

      I have almost the exact same issue. Met my ex on WoW 2 years ago, dated for a year long distance blissfully, and he broke up with me for cheating on him when I truly didn’t.

      As the relationship progressed he became possessive and controlling to the degree of not wanting men to look at me and if someone texted me, all hell broke loose. He assaulted one of his friends for messaging me on facebook (saying hello) and wound up in jail with charges pressed against him.

      His trust issues began by me texting and engaging with other people (groups) while I was home (aka not with him in Chicago). One particular guy in this group of friends he HATED, absolutely hated him, and fought with me everyday for months about how I’m cheating on him with that guy. It wasn’t true, I absolutely never cheated on him. I told him I’d go to the grave before I admitted to something I didn’t do.

      Now he hates me, tells me to die, etc. etc. total hatred. Still logs into my social media accounts to “monitor” but won’t speak to me. Has me blocked and all e-mails blocked.

      This relationship was like heaven on earth before he snapped. Our sex melted the paint off the walls and we are totally and utterly best friends in every way you can imagine. He is my BEST friend.

      WTF do I do? We’ve been broken up since January 2013 and haven’t gone two days without speaking and fighting. He told me to fuck off Thursday and I’ve left it. So it’s day number 4.

      I want him and always will, I’ll wait forever–but what if he never sees that I was faithful and it was all in his head?

    3. admin

      August 19, 2014 at 2:08 pm

      WOW as in world of warcraft???

      How old was he?

      He sounds a bit crazy… I am a little worried about him he has some maturing to do.

    4. Sam

      August 18, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      I am 23 and he is 24. When we met I was 20 and he was 22.

  20. Courtney

    August 16, 2014 at 1:07 am

    My ex boyfriend and I are both twenty years old, so as you stated earlier he is very,very immature. I know he wants to have fun, and party and maybe be with other girls, I can understand that because he is still growing and learning. But if you truly love someone, do you wait on them? Do I wait on him to get out of this phase, and come back to me? Do I move on with my life? I truly love his guy, and I feel like he is the one. So do I let him “find himself” and have fun, and be a 20 year old typical boy, and wait for him?

    1. admin

      August 18, 2014 at 12:36 pm

      I think you need to ask yourself is if he will ever get out of this phase?

      Remember, a womans time is much more valuable than a mans.

1 2 3