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Kim Elaine
October 10, 2019 at 1:18 am
Hey EBR team,
I have begged and pleaded my ex for about 2 months now. Attempted NC once and failed miserably. I’ve sent many texts to my ex telling him something along the lines of “come pick up your things so I can move” or asking if we could talk so I could get some closure from the break up and attempt to move on. He’s already responded with either “I’ll come get them when I can” or “We’ll talk when I’m ready”
I just don’t quite understand why he won’t talk to me when I’ve asked him so we could finally stop all the back and forth. He insists on wanting space and coming to my house to talk “when he’s ready” but what is there to talk about later when he’s ready versus now when he has made it clear that there is no second chance for us to work on our relationship or that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?
Could he still want to be in this relationship with me but us stubborn to admit it? He has told me that he still loves and cares for me but doesn’t want a relationship with me and that maybe it’ll be something or an idea he’ll be okay with later down the line. His actions confuse me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 12, 2019 at 8:16 am
Hi Kim, so you really need to give him the space he needs. It is hard to do but it is needed after a breakup. It gives him some head space to think and sort his emotions out. This seems scary and you imagine the worst, but the worst has happened at this point and hes ended things. Now you need to give him the time to miss you. NC him for 30 days and work on your emotional control so when / if you start having conversations again you will be in better control of what you do and say. At this point I would listen to his actions not words because he will try to lessen your hurt of the break up because he feel bad, but at the moment he wants the break up to happen. Which is why you need to do NC and work on yourself, and read as much as you can on this website that applies to you!
em
October 9, 2019 at 3:55 pm
My gran died at exactly same time he ended a 3 year relationship so he had reached out a week later to see how I was. As it was a death I did reply and we had a pleasant couple of texts back and forth. I now start no contact again but have I ruined my chance by replying ? Thanks
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 9, 2019 at 8:11 pm
Hi Em, you not ruined your chances just go back into your Nc from day one.
Georgia
October 9, 2019 at 3:24 pm
I’m Full NC. We were together 4 yrs, best friends years before dating. We own separate houses but spent every night together at one or the other. We integrated children and family. What happens with NC if there is a death in the family or with one of our pets?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
October 9, 2019 at 8:19 pm
Hi Georgia, as your children are not together you do a full NC and if the case of a death then you can do limited NC to send condolences and thats it.