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39 thoughts on “What To Do When You Miss Your Ex Boyfriend”

  1. Tasha

    October 29, 2019 at 4:27 am

    Hi there,
    I dated my boyfriend for right at a year and we were starting to get closer. Suddenly, he started pulling away. Next thing I know he was breaking up with me, telling me that he didn’t want kids or to get married. I was devastated and didn’t understand why, especially since we never really had those conversations before. At the time he told me that it was because he wanted to focus on his career but he said that he loved me tremendously. I couldn’t implement NCR. It was to hard. But whenever I’d text or call he’d always respond. The last time we met in person, he revealed that the “real” reason for the break up is because he didn’t agree with my family (who have been nothing, but nice to him but he’s morally conflicted due to differences in beliefs). He felt that we were getting closer to marriage and he knew this would be a conflict and he didn’t want to put be in a position to have to choose. This was like a knife to my heart. He also admitted he felt like he was making a mistake and he’d probably never find anyone he’d love as much as me. He admitted that he was having doubts. This gave me hope that he could change his mind. So I began calling & texting more, thinking that we could work on this. I never gave him the space he needed. We had one last meeting, after which, he pretty much said his mind was fixed and he wouldn’t budge on his feelings for my family. Again, still stating that I’m perfect for him, telling me I deserve the world and professing his love for me but washing his hands with it and not wanting to prolong the “inevitable.” I didn’t want him to leave. He stayed. We laughed. We cried but eventually he said I had to let him go. I love him and I feel that he’s the one. And I know that he loves me and I don’t think there’s anyone else. He basically gave me 4 different reasons for the breakup. Regardless of the true reason, the inevitable could be that he doesn’t want to be with me. On the other hand he could be just scared. Do you think that we can be restored or should I just move on?

    1. EBR Team Member: Shaunna

      October 30, 2019 at 1:27 pm

      Hi Tasha, it can work but you are going to have to do some real work during the NC to be the best version of yourself so he feels like hes missing out. As far as children and marriage talk – something has brought these thoughts to his mind even if you were just passing comment on someone else. Work on becoming the Ungettable girl and reach out after your 30 days a happy confident where you are indifferent to the past relationship

  2. May

    June 20, 2019 at 5:29 am

    My ex broke up with me 4 days ago as he told me that i fight lot and he cant withstand that anymore he told me that he still loves me and he will not love anyone like he loved me , i cried a-lot and told him that i will change but he didn’t want to be back also so i decided to not call again and i left the city for vacation, as i knew from my friend that he is missing me badly but still he doesn’t want to be back , i am missing him badly and crying every day , what should i do and do you think he will come back or even text me ?? , i am on the no contact rule now for 3 days and i will complete it . But i am suffering a-lot pls. I need your help and support

  3. Michelle

    June 7, 2019 at 11:23 pm

    Hi Chris…my ex broke up with me during a fight about him helping me move out of my house into an apartment. I was overwhelmed with all of the craziness surrounding it and i asked him to stop talking about my situation. it hurt him and he shut down. Then on the way home from the market he said he wanted to break up. He was done with our relationship. We got back to his house and he got out of my car and went upstairs. I followed up and he was gone. He walked out the other side of the building. (There are 2 entrances) He called me 5 minutes later saying its over and i can get my stuff and go but he was not coming back to the apartment. So I stayed thinking he would calm down. He didn’t. He came back 20 minutes later and said he was sorry but that its over. He was very cold and sat in the front room while i sat in the bedroom for the next 3 hours silent. When i left all he could say was “bye”. It’s been 2 weeks now and he has texted me mindless stuff. Almost everyday. He offered to give me a ride for 2 days since i was without my vehicle that was being serviced. On the 3rd day he loaned me his car. We went to dinner 3 times and a Dodger game. He held my hand and acted as though we were still together except with out all the kissing in public. After all this…he still wants to help me build shelves in my storage. Although i gave him an out…he wouldn’t take it. All of the I love you’s stopped. Before we broke up even 2 hours before he was telling me he was so in love with me and i was the love of his life and his other half and he would never leave me and has never been so happy. I went by his apartment when he was not home and he had taken down all the pictures on the walls of us together. He loved all the pictures. And all of the bathroom toiletries i had there he put in a bag. It’s all in his closet. I’m not sure if it was in a moment of anger or what. How does all of that just stop? I’m confused. He has not given me my stuff (which I didn’t take that night he broke up with me) and I still have his house keys, gate clicker for his house, car keys and his favorite jacket. I did reply when he texted but he has initiated 99.999999% of the texts or calls. I do want him back but I feel that it’s a lost cause. I think about him all the time. I’m not sure what my next step is. When we are together there is always talk of getting together in the future for some project or something. I feel like he doesn’t want to completely sever our tie. Help!

  4. Max

    May 27, 2019 at 2:36 am

    My ex and I have been “just friends” for about 6 months as he was seeing another woman. He would say his new relationship was “like the movies” and it was so great. I’m going through a lot of family issues and need him as a friend (he had been very supportive) at this point so I didn’t care. We normally text every night for about an hour; and it had been a little flirty lately. I ended up having a panic attack (family issues) and freaked out when I hadn’t heard from him in 24 hours (he said we would chat that day/normally gets back to me as it is a weekday). I swung by his place, he answered his door and said he was with his gf, that he would text me later that night. I then got a text an hour later from him saying that I messed up his relationship, he spent the last hour consoling her, and now in order for him to continue with her they decided he cannot talk to me ever again. He blocked my phone, not FB. I did the whole begging and pleading on FB messenger for 2 days, he read the messages with no response. I deactivated FB and went into NC. I did notice that he unblocked my phone as old messages went through. I also received “drunk dialing” from a mutual friend a day after I deactivated. I don’t think I want him back, I miss him as my friend, but I think it’s maybe more of the idea of him. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just wanted your thoughts. Thank you.

  5. Dionne Graham

    May 22, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    Hi Chris, the relationship leading up to the break up was just like normal. We had been together 5 years. I came home from work one day and he said that he doesn’t feel connected to me anymore. He had already packed his things and then left and i haven’t heard from him since. He has even changed his number. That was 5 weeks ago. After the break up i spent alot of time with friend, family and reconnected with old friends. I booked a holiday and have been going to the gym. I do feel alot better now tham i did at the begining but because i dont really know why the relationship ended, because i wasn’t aware there were any issues in the relationship and the fact that he can just walk out of my life and never want to speak to me again after 5 years makes me sick to my stomach. I know i deserve better than the way he ended the relationship but i still can’t help feeling worthless and used. Any advice on how i can move on?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 22, 2019 at 10:29 pm

      Hi Dionne….you are are worthless. You not being in his life is HIS loss. Check out some of my Podcasts on my website that deal with the ex recovery process. Also, my Special Topic eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” has a lengthy section in it that deals with healing and personal recovery and growth. So give that a look.

  6. Amanda

    April 2, 2019 at 12:06 am

    Hey Chris,
    My ex broke up with me a little over a year ago. We were best friends before we dated and then after we dated for 6 months, he told me that he never loved me to begin with and he was slowly realizing it more and more. He asked if we could go back to being friends and I was so emotionally distraught that i decided that maybe we could. We tried that for about 10 months and it went downhill VERY quickly. The fighting was insane and we could never have fun together anymore. I cried constantly, but I still loved him. We finally broke it off a few months ago because he found a girl that he apparently can’t live without. He and this girl both live only 20 minutes away from me and I feel suffocated. It’s been incredibly painful!

    1. Chris Seiter

      April 2, 2019 at 4:18 am

      HI Amanda…I am sorry things have been so rough, but there are opportunities for you to explore another path that should be about putting yourself first. It’s your healing, recovery, and personal growth that should take precedent and I have a lot of material on my site that can help you. Who knows what will come of this other relationship and right now, that should be far from your thinking. Explore my website or any of my resource to help your efforts going forward. You will get thru this and there are many recovery activities you can partake in…many of which I discuss on the site and in my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”

  7. boybye

    November 4, 2018 at 4:19 pm

    my bf just broke up with me. his reasons were that it just wasnt working out because he didnt love me anymore and he was faking his love for me for a while now. i agree with his reasons and i am glad we broke up with but i miss him. as a person in my life. how do i make sure ill stay friends with him. he wants to stay friends too so thats no issue but i dont see it happening…

    1. Chris Seiter

      November 4, 2018 at 10:30 pm

      Hi there!

      Sorry this just happened to you. Maybe the space will do you both good. Have you considered No Contact? Visit my home page for more info!

  8. Chantelle

    September 8, 2018 at 11:00 am

    Hi Chris, my fiance’ broke up with me around two months ago after a 9 year relationship. His reasons were that it didn’t feel ‘right’ anymore and that he needs to find himself because our relationship has resulted in us becoming codependent on each other and losing our individuality. We stayed in contact after the break up and tried to stay friends but he felt that we are not going to be able to move on if we keep in contact. He still loves me and he told me he misses us but he doesn’t see us getting back together, although he’s keeping an open mind about the possibility that someday we might find our way back to each other again. I’m 26 and he’s 25. What should I do? Thanks

    1. Chris Seiter

      September 9, 2018 at 5:24 am

      Hi Chantelle….my quick answer is to pick up my eBook and follow the ex recovery program I lay out because you guys have a solid chance of getting back together. His reasoning around co-dependency just does not make much sense to me. He might be chasing his tail on that one.

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