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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Ananomous
June 27, 2019 at 11:39 am
Hi Chris,
I’ve been blocked by by ex-boyfriend every where he deleted my number on his phone. He is currently dating someone else in the mean time. He started dating as soon as we broke up just like 2 days after our breakup.
I miss him terribly. Please help!
Marcia
June 26, 2019 at 10:34 pm
Dear Chris,
Finally I pressed “ignore” my ex too, so now he can’t message me on fb. Which is exactly what he did to me for 3 months. So I will “give him a taste of his own medecine”. I wonder what effect this tactic has on men! Even if he has decided to move on! It worked perfectly whenever he applied it on me, so l hope it works vice versa š
Kathleen
June 24, 2019 at 6:04 pm
I was dating a guy
And he then all of a sudden went abit depressed & down
I tried to cheer him up with things like Iāll be there for you stuff like that. On his birthday I surprised him with a gift weekend away I allowed a few days till I asked if he received a gift at all from me and he blanked me for 2 days. I said that was rather rude and uncalled for and that his acting a dick when all I wanted to do was help bring him up again. And he said to me were over your behaviour is ridiculous. Was like what! He wouldnāt speak to me face to face or on the phone. And he then blocked my number then unblocked my number. I left it 2 days ā I asked if he was all ok and how come he unblocked my number did you wanna talk. He then blocked my number again. :-/ not really sure what to do from here.
Shale I just leave him?
I donāt wanna message him on Instagram or anything incase it pushes him away further. Shale I leave him alone and see what happens? Is that the best option. Advice would be appreciated. Thank you
Marcia
June 22, 2019 at 9:14 pm
Dear Chris,
finally after NC I messaged my ex. I thought, he unblocked me a month ago, so let’s test the waters, on level 1, small talk. I was playing with my sister’s baby at that moment, so I sent him a cute photo of the baby’s toys! Tiny bears and cats! Not sexy, I know, but I am original š Here is to my surprise:
Photo sent yesterday but still not delivered, although he is online. That means I am on “ignore messages”, just like I was before he blocked me, and then unblocked me!
Why would an ex unblock me on messenger but pressed ” ignore messages”? To tempt me to message him and then humiliate me further?
Would a man bother to use such game playing for a girl he wasn’t even in love with?! My mind feels paralyzed after this experience.
sarah
June 17, 2019 at 6:02 am
iād say my situation is different than most, we have been broken up for about 9 months and dated other people. recently we had a very nice conversation in which he apologized for how he treated me post breakup and asked how I was doing. about a week later I find out he is dating one of my close friends. this was some serious betrayal (for the most part by her as she knew how I felt about the situation and him but he also couldāve been respected and looked elsewhere besides one of my friends). well come to realize the mutual friends this girl and I have tell me the two of them met by him badmouthing me at a party to them. both of these situations clearly hurt me as itās been a long time since the breakup so iām not sure why he would go up to my friends and start bad mouthing me (he left me and iāve been doing much better than him). but also because immediately after that he starts dating one of my friends. and this whole story sounds as bad as it can get already but no. just the other night while iām out with my friends at the club a girl grabs me, starts asking me very personal questions about myself and him. itās his ex girlfriend. the one he dated after me. she starts looking through my phone and sees that I had a conversation with him in which he said he was glad they broke up because she was by his words āmean and pettyā. of course I felt bad for this girl because for all I know she could be wonderful and heās just bitter. but then she calls him, she starts screaming at him and texting him profusely. my friends and I leave the situation and try to forget about it. but by the next day iām over the top anxious by everything he seems to be causing in my life and I text him. along the lines of I donāt know what to do anymore your decisions keep making my life worse you talk shit about me then date my friend and now iām being forcefully interrogated by one of your exes. it may have been harsh but I said that I shouldnāt be relevant in any of this and I shouldnāt be dragged through this crap when iāve done nothing for the last 9 months but just living my life without him. he apologized for her behaviour and said it wasnāt right of her to do. I said that I understand youāre not directly doing anything but youāve caused a drama filled situation in my friend group (all of my mutual friends with this girl hate her for dating my ex, which I did not ask them to they just donāt think itās okay) and now I feel targeted by a girl iāve never met before who is somehow angry at me for dating you before her. I respectfully said iām not trying to attack you in anyway I am just very tired of being put through this stuff and I donāt know what to do anymore. did he read the last part? iām not sure and now iām blocked by him. honestly it doesnāt really make a difference I didnāt follow him in the first place and I certainly do not want to be with someone who would have such little respect for me.
ps. my (now ex) friendās last boyfriend started hitting on me after they broke up and I ignored it because I could never do that to a friend knowing what they went through. and my exās best friend also started hitting on me after our breakup and I politely declined since he was my exās friend.
Marcia
June 15, 2019 at 10:34 pm
Dear Chris,
it’s now 5 weeks since I was unblocked by my ex (oh yeah) and I haven’t reached out to him. Neither did him. So I did well with my NC š Also I want to congratulate you, as you are the only mentor whose theory caught and worked from the root, for me!
I am thinking to initiate now and see if I may build up just friendly contact with him. I decided I don’t want a boyfriend in my life, but would be rather happy with a pen pal. At this stage I won’t mind even to hear about his current dates etc. That’s what buddies do, right? I won’t play with his heart.
Is it a good idea to try to build just friendly contact with an ex? Or will I look like a time-waster, in a man’s eyes? And if he wants more, I will explain to him that I am happier to be just email friends. There is fun in that too. Do you believe in keeping an ex as a pen pal friend? Life is weird! š
Chris Seiter
June 15, 2019 at 10:46 pm
Sometimes what seems like a good idea in the mind, doesn’t always play so well in practice. My concern is you will get hurt if you are his pen pal and he is telling you about his dates. Not sure that is the path you want to take.
Annette
June 11, 2019 at 11:51 pm
I appreciate your honesty. It seems you are growing and maturing. Not there yet, but promising. The article helped me to see things from a better perspective. Thank you
Marcia
June 7, 2019 at 10:12 pm
Dear Chris, Marcia here, to make your day, just like you make our days (of all your readers and followers) happier! I’ve watched your video, where you and Jennifer both talk, and you are indeed such a cute and charming couple! Actually I can tell that you are so suited to each other and still in love with each other! How amazing and bravo!! š
By taking the test “how likely am I to get my ex back” I got slightly above average. So that’s hopeful, but after being ignored, then blocked, then unblocked, I no longer care about my ex.
If however I do implement your powerful strategies, I am sure I will get him back, to begin with. If I do that as an experiment, and not out of genuinely being interested in him, is that a sin? Would it count as game playing? Because I am thinking to get him back, then drop him, just to teach him a lesson and help him form a better attitude to women. Just wondering š
Chris Seiter
June 8, 2019 at 1:48 am
I would not advice getting him back just to drop him. You will end up hurting yourself in the long run.
Paige117
June 6, 2019 at 8:51 pm
Hey Chris! I love all the information youāve given! Itās helped me understand a lot. However I do have a few questions. My ex and I have been on and off for 4 years. We both love each other a lot and would do anything. We decided we both needed to work on ourselves in order to have a happy functioning relationship. We both wanted to one day end back up together. But for now to only be friends. Heās dealt with PTSD and I have as well. We were two broken people trying to make it work. Heās blocked me before but that was because I freaked out and ttexted him that his new girlfriend looked like jimmy nutrons dad! (Old cartoon I watched as a kid) which she indeed did resemble him! But I was so furious because at this time we were in between the on and off stages. We were friends but friends with benifits and trying to make it work. So long story short he blocked me. They broke up, and he started talking to me again. Well this time he blocked me completely. I moved to Florida to take care of my grandmother and we decided this was the perfect time to finally focus on ourselves and become the person weād wanna date. Weāll be dropped me off at the airport. Anxiety and tension was high on both ends. I was known for never being on time and he was freaking out saying if I were responsible Iād of made my flight. I missed it but he said he wasnāt coming back because he had plans and Iād have to figure it out. Weāre weāre fine after that day. Talked and texted quite frequently. Then about 2 or 3 months in I was completely blocked in alll aspects. I went into panic mode. Iāve tried contacting him numerous of times. And still find myself wanting to reach out. Iāve become so fixated on him not wanting me because heās always loved and wanted me. We both had our share of our wrongs. More so me. I know I messed up and was given more chances then I should have been. But heās never stopped loving me. And Iām so scared that heās gone forever. Iām moved back. 2 more months and itāll be a year since he dropped me off at the airport and kissed me goodbye. I havenāt been with anyone. Believe me Iāve tried. Iāve went on 1 date. Hated every minute of it. I havenāt been intimate with anyone but him. Iāve tried tinder but delete it more then I find myself using it. I just wanna forget about him, I try and heās there in the back of my mind. Every. Damn. Day. My heart aches for his presence. For a call. Anything. I just wanna know why or what I did for him to completely vanish on the earth as I know it. I mean here I am reaching out to a total stranger to try and find some closure to this madness. Whether we become lovers again or just friends Iād be happy either way. Heās made a huge impact on my life. In a good way. Taught me a lot about myself and life. Things my parents should have but never did. Early on in our relationship I resented him for this. And now all I wanna do is thank him and give him back the love heās given me. I donāt wanna trick him into loving me again or play any game to try to get him back. I want him to comeback because he wants me in his life. Iāve been focusing on myself and bettering myself the best I can while dealing with this. Iām just so scared I pushed him so far away that come my 85th birthday Iāll blow out my candles still wishing for him. I want to know if heās gone for good. I want to just ask him why. Thank you for your time reading this longgggg sad comment. If you have any advice for me Iād appreciate it!
texasgirl123
June 3, 2019 at 3:41 am
Hey Chris,
Iām not sure how many of these you are able to get to, but I hope you can offer me some insight. I was with my ex for 4 years. We were high school sweethearts and continued our relationship into college. Now, we will both be graduating college next year. Our relationship became rocky when we had to go long distance. I was beginning nursing school in a different town and he was pursuing his degree at another university. During our first semester apart, it was quite difficult. Both our workloads were extremely heavy and the rigor of both programs was so stressful. Time passes, and on my finals week he comes to me and ends our relationship. His reason being, he needs to be on his own and make his own decisions and that I was too controlling. As you can imagine, I was extremely hurt. A month has passed now since we have been broken up. We were still texting, however it was more so me pleading to fix things. We even met up a few times and I explained how much I love him and how willing I am to work on our issues because I truly believe that things could be better. In my mind, after being with someone 4 years there is a level of respect and I thought at least giving it a chance would be realistic. He constantly kept saying āmove onā, ādonāt wait for meā, āIāll always love and care for you but I donāt think Iām in love with you anymoreā Anyways, my pleading has pushed him away. He has blocked me via phone. I reached out through his brother because I understand that blocking me was needed in order to give us both an emotional break, but I did not want to leave it on a negative note. He responded to me through his brothers phone and said that he felt that blocking me was necessary for us both to heal and feel better and that he will unblock me when he feels the time is right. I guess what I am asking you is, do you think Iām stupid for having hope that we can fix our relationship? Or am I better off moving on and not even considering that as a possibility? I do love him with all my heart and I canāt blame him for wanting to be alone but I just am not sure what to do from here. Thank you for your great articles, they give me a lot of insight.
Chris Seiter
June 3, 2019 at 3:25 pm
Hi Texas Girl….so sometimes the best medicine is No Contact. It can help in many ways…help you with your healing and recovery and also help create the space that is needed for him to perhaps see things differently and come to better appreciate your value. That is what my Program is about (EBR PRO).
Belle
June 2, 2019 at 4:55 pm
Hi Chris, Iāve been waiting for your reply before I make a do something stupid like text this guy that I miss him,
But itās almost been 2 month since I asked you what I should do. But Iāll tell you how everything started.
This perfect guy came out of the blue and he was too good to be true, he was just like me but, a male version kinda. Then it got little annoying when he texted and starred to ask a lot. I took some break from him but he came back. And I was still little annoyed by him. Cuz he cared to much about me. And then I became mean to him for no reason, I donāt really know why or how I could be so rude. So I blocked him for few weeks. And then started to give other guys some chance cuz I feel like I never give guys much chance to talk to me. After around 3 weeks I unblocked him and he to added me right away. And I felt so bad it was like he have been waiting for me to unblock him, like everyday, cause the moment I unblocked him, he added me.
But I though Iām gonna be nice to him from now on cuz I missed him little. But then he ignores me and he blocks me for three days. I tried to ad him back cuz I though this behavior is so ridiculous and maybe we can be friends , but he didnāt add me back I donāt know if he was it or something so I deleted him after few hours, But I really like him cause he was such a good guy, I just didnāt saw it then, and I feel so bad. Iāve been crying my heart out since then. I donāt know why I act like this.
I have never been in love or even liked some one this much.. I donāt know if I should let it go or try to talk to him? Cuz everything was my fault in the beginning. I mean I got so much attention from other guys I just though this guy is nothing. I was so mean to him.
Jojo
June 1, 2019 at 1:56 am
Hi Chris! Love your website. So I was together with my ex since last Christmas. And these past 6 months has been amazing for us and I knew he always cared and took care of me always. Weāve been to so many trips together and all. But the issue was that weāre always fighting. Mainly it was my fault cause I had depression and tend to push him away when Iām sad or hurt cause I didnāt want to burden him. We met just 3 weeks ago and everything was lovey dovey and suddenly we had this fight again and as days passed by I pushed him away more and I feel heās been distancing from me. My close friends tried contacting him to ask what was wrong and he told them that he was hurt that I kept pushing him away and he said he needed time to āfix himselfā. So I gave him space for about a week and we met up again. But this time he looked different and I started crying n begging him to come back but he said he couldnāt and I was so so hurt. He kept insisting to be āfriendsā cause he think we could understand each other better that way. And I asked him whatās the possibility of getting back together if we were to stay friends? He said ā90%ā. So I agreed to be his friend but few days later I found out from his colleague that heās been starting to see someone from his work. I donāt understand? Just after 2 weeks of being all lovey dovey, he found someone else?!! So of course I spiralled and for one whole week I been begging him to give me a chance. And yesterday when I asked if I could meet him next week, he blocked me on WhatsApp. I was so so upset. That same night I found out he blocked me on Instagram too. I wasnāt sure if his new gf was there that time and told him to do so. But thankfully he did not block me on Facebook yet. So I really donāt understand:
1) how could he just break up with me so fast ?
2) how can he find someone new just after a week of break up? Does he really love her?
3) why did he block me on Instagram? Now how am I gonna show him that I can be happy? Is he gonna unblock me back soon?
I really miss him and want him back but Iām not sure how and whatās going in his mind right now. Sigh. But the best part is that Iām going to see him in July as we booked our holiday tickets with our group of friends. (Which is exactly 1 month from now and itās best to try the NC Rule) but when we meet, should I start pouring out my feelings to him and confront him ? I just want to win him back!!
Chris Seiter
June 1, 2019 at 3:57 am
Thanks Jo Jo! I am glad you are enjoying the site! So it seems NC would be the right medicine. Sometimes guys will go chasing after foolish notions. Time and space can be a teacher in many ways for you both.
Marcia
May 31, 2019 at 10:34 pm
Dear Chris,
20 days after being unblocked, and he still hasn’t contacted me š
I am being strong, posting about my career projects on fb but without my picture, as I want to shock him suddenly, having lost 6 kgr! But now I have a sad feeling he will never contact me. Although he had blocked and unblocked me again in the past and was always flakey. Maybe he never felt emotional attraction for me… I thought men fall in love gradually, and that’s why I kept it going on for 2 years, but maybe I am wrong. If he had indeed felt any connection, he would have run back to me by now. He seemed a sensitive soul before, but now he looks so cruel. I don’t understand it…
Maya
May 29, 2019 at 4:32 am
Hi Chris! I’m Maya from Philippines. Me and my ex been together for almost 6 yrs. Our relationship was great. We even have a same tattoo. We always talk about our future. I am very insecure person. My ex didn’t post anything about us. Thou his family knows me. I usually stayed in their house every weekend. One day. I don’t know but I texted him I think he has another girl. He got really angry at me. I tried to talked to him but he doesnt want too. He blocked me on everything. As In everything. It’s always 3 weeks now since the breakup. But I went to their house last week. But he is soo angry and doesn’t want to see me anymore. What would I do. I love him. Should I fight for him or give up??pls help me
Latisha
May 28, 2019 at 4:13 pm
Hi Chris,
this was a good read hopefully you can give me some advice. my ex and i broke up well be blocked me on EVERYTHING but whatsapp. I went into panic mode and messaged him crazy on the first day and he was really cold and was like you should know what you’ve done wrong and its not my place to tell you (hes nearly 30) by the end of the day i told him i’d give him his space and will contact him in a couple of days once hes calmed down (think 10 days). but before this all happened i spent the morning with him at a football game and within 22 minutes i was blocked from what i understand i 2 missed a calls. he said i disrespected him and he doesn’t deal with disrespect but ive missed many calls in the past we both work full time jobs and have hobbies so naturally i cant be available 100% is there any saving this
Ellie
May 23, 2019 at 11:16 am
Hi my name is Ellie from the uk Iām new to this and I just need some help with the ex boyfriend situation it all started out fine we were getting along okay having a laugh and then a come Christmas time last year it started to go abit wrong he started to act funny and not wanted to meet he would always say Iām busy or what ever to me I felt like he was advoiding me and then all of sudden he goes and blokes me with out a reason he never told me why he just went and block me he did this on WhatsApp and Facebook, Instagram not to mention my actual phone number see all I wanted to do was find out why he block me I mean no man should not block you with a reason it silly and the fact that i canāt talk to him it hurts me because he left me in this mess to clear up so all Iām saying is how can I tell my ex to talk me about it his situation and why he did it.
Chris Seiter
May 23, 2019 at 11:55 pm
Hi Ellie form UK! So blocking is sort of a childish reaction, though sometimes people will block to protect themselves. What matters going forward is that you have a sensible ex recovery plan. I can help with that. Feel free to check out my Program (EBR Pro Bundle)!
Marcia
May 19, 2019 at 10:33 pm
Dear Chris,
As you so wisely predicted, I am now unblocked, a full week has past and weirdly, no message from him.
I am puzzled. Why would an ex unblock you on messenger, if he doesn’t plan to message you! Another big mystery for me š
Chris Seiter
May 19, 2019 at 11:17 pm
Hey Marcia….so guys can do things for tactical reasons to thaw things out. Maybe he is inching up to a time where he will entertain some communications.
Ughoh
May 18, 2019 at 1:23 pm
Hi.
So my ex and I broke up end of February because he was annoyed about me making a
Comment about him doing
Things for his ex who had hurt him so deeply.
We kept in contact and every time we saw one another we still had intense chemistry, it started turning into fwb which made me feel crap as I wanted a real relationship with him.
He said he needed time for himself before committing again as he was still messed up, but then I found out he was on a dating
Site ālooking for a relationshipā I never contact him, I always leave that to him and he would text and call me every day…after a few days of thinking I decided I need to go into no contact. He asked why I was ignoring him on the first day, I text him and told him how I feel about fwb and that I need to take time not speaking to him or seeing him, so I can get over him, once Iāve done that, I hope we can continue our
Much valued friendship without physical/emotional attraction and enjoy that friendship again. He never replied then 3 days later he blocked me from Facebook and Instagram. Iāve carried on no contact for 2 weeks so far, Iāve been doing things for me and Iāve been on dates with 2 different guys, but I still canāt stop thinking about my
Ex. We are both in our 40ās and Iāve never connected with someone so well in my
Life….I really miss him. Do you think the āno
Contactā will work in this situation and since I canāt contact him apart from email should I leave it open so he eventually (might) contact me and go from there? Iāve read a lot of your stuff but Iām kind of stumped with this one. I really donāt want to lose him from my life for good but Iām in love and I need that real relationship from him reciprocated. Thanks!
Chris Seiter
May 18, 2019 at 11:08 pm
Implementing No Contact can accomplish a lot. It is one of the success factors for my clients. You can take a deeper dive into learning how it all works by picking up my EBR Pro Bundle.
Ann
May 16, 2019 at 2:25 pm
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend and I had a rough/distant week and at the end of the week, Friday we got into a bad fight and in the heat of the moment he told me to leave and move out of his house. That Sunday he went on a trip for work and since Monday I have been blocked on whatsapp, the app we use to comunicate when he is traveling or home. I havent tried to get in touch with him in a different way and have my days im doing OK but sometimes I freak out and want to know how he is doing, he never send me a message letting me know he arrived well! He has blocked me before on whatsapp and after a while unblocked me without asking him (and comunicating via email). I think he blocked me out of revenge/to get back to me, but Im not sure. Next week wednesday he is back from his trip.
I want to stay in NC as much as I can as long as I can because i think he should be the one to re-initiate contact (specially because he kicked me out of his house), but my broken car is parked at his place. I can survive without it for a while but would like to get it back as soon as I know I can repair it….What should I do??
Chris Seiter
May 16, 2019 at 9:52 pm
Hi Ann….its good that you want to carry thru with your NC plan. There are many elements to an effective no contact period…things you can do to heal and recovery and things you can do to reinforce you value and seek personal growth. Feel free to explore my site for its resources.
Aria
May 12, 2019 at 4:50 pm
Hey,
So I had a fight with my bf in which at the end i cried. My bf hates when a person crys so basically he just screamed at me the whole ride back home to shut up which made me even cry more. he was just really aggressive and by the end he even got violent towards me. The next day i wrote him how he was and he didnt replied so i kept writing him he than got so annoyed that he blocked me. the following day he unblocked me and i wrote him again which was a mistake so he blocked me again. I dont know what to do. I really think that he was the one who misstreated me and the fact that he was violent is not acceptable for me. but he still acts like I am the bad person and he does not even consider to apolagize to me.
Should i block him to? and how should i act when i see him because of the sports we are doing i see him quite often
Chris Seiter
May 13, 2019 at 3:32 pm
Hi Aria…I am not a fan of blocking, but its best to have a sensible ex recovery plan. Check out my Program I call, EBR Pro Bundle as it has an array of resources aimed at helping you out!