What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

Jane

November 16, 2015 at 2:01 pm

Hi Chris! So glad I found this site! I am over 40 and I met a man through his friend (I had dated his friend for 2 months then he broke up. While I was with his friend he was flirting a lot asking me to go out, get my number, etc, never had this happen before. So after one week he approached me on the same dating site I met his friend, asked me out. We met for drinks, it was really just a meeting not a date, I was still hurting. He talked about his friend and some of his life. So he drove me home and came in for awhile. He said hes very busy with catering until xmas and his ex has him in court trying to take his home, and other issues. So we texted then a few days later I said why don’t you drop over sometime and he said I can come today after work. So he came over and this time the chemistry was electric and he was smiling a lot. Hes very down to earth like me. So he and I talked and later ended up having sex (which I did not want to happen so soon but the energy was amazing). He still compared himself to his best friend a lot, maybe he thought I wanted his friend back I don’t. So then he said hes busy with work etc and he will be taking down his dating profile, he has no time to date. I asked if he was seeing anyone he was with a woman a few times but they broke up due to tight schedules (single mom). So the next day I noted his photo was gone from the dating site but he was still in there talking to women 30 mins or more a day. We kept in touch. He kept saying he wanted to spend time with me ‘when he was not busy”. So after 5 days or so I lost it and got upset. He said “I only like you as a friend for now. I did not make you any promises and Im a busy man.”. We kept in touch but the texting dwindled and about 1 week later his total profile was deleted. I never had his cell number or any other way to contact him but he knows my number and address (plus his friend does!). He had admitted hes too busy til xmas working long shifts and has no time for me or any other woman (plus he does not make a lot of money and his expenses are high!). So I was brokenhearted. Its now over 6 weeks I have not heard from him. I found his facebook but its setup you cannot send a friend request to him at all. I have looked around his site (hes not on there much only every few months). So I tried to message him and don’t think it went through. Yesterday I went in and a message came up and his profile is gone! So I know a friend of his and he checked and he’s his friend, he said hes still on his, so I know I am blocked by him. The thing is why would he do this after no contact over 6 weeks and I have not seen him either? The only thing I did was asked his sister to go for a coffee sometime as I met her a few times, she did not respond back. What do you make of this? Does he still have feelings or has he totally moved on and perhaps he has a new relationship and she is behind this! Have no clue. All I can tell you is we got along very very well when we were together and hes always smiling hes kind of a shy guy too…..
G

November 16, 2015 at 10:49 am

Will the no contact work if he says he doesn’t love me anymore?
Annie

November 15, 2015 at 4:09 pm

Hi Chris love the articles I read them when I have weak moments in NC. It’s been about 22 days and I’ve heard nothing. We lived together, had a big fight or something very small, and he moved out and I never contacted him and he never contacted me. We had fights before and his pattern is to leave and usually he comes around in a couple of days, we talk things out and try to make solutions and move on. Not this time. The breakup is not clear as in, who broke up with who is not clear. I was having a really rough time, many things in my life popped up and I tried not to lean on him too much. But perhaps I did? However the night before he left we were intimate and he said that he was there for me and that I should sort out things, take my time and he would be supportive. It was very confusing the day he left, he was quite angry at me for such a little thing so I know there is something else going on. At this point I feel like he picked a fight to be able to leave. Will no contact work in a situation like this?

Annie

November 25, 2015 at 9:02 am

Hi Chris, please respond…this is an upate to my post above. I used a couple text message after 30 days of no contact. I asked for the name of a restaurant we once went to and had so much fun. He responded quickly but said “Why are you texting me?” I said I just want the address because I want to go and I remember it was so delicious. He got upset and said “Are you trying to show me you are ok and that you are dating again?” And I said, I just wanted to let you know I’m not angry anymore and that the decision to break up was a good idea, I learned alot. I thought we could talk again but if you don’t want to I understand. Hope you are well.” He said that he “Is not ok. He is so hurt and sometimes he misses me so much, and that a lot of time has to pass before we can be friends.” I never suggested friendship. I just said I thought we could talk and be friendly. What does this mean? I am assuming I have to start 30 days all over again. He seems pretty hurt still, but he is the one that broke up with me. I don’t understand. I said Ok. Hope you are well. and then he responded and said “Anyway, I hope you are well too. Take care.” and then I didn’t respond.

Tasha

November 9, 2015 at 9:37 am

My Ex and I have been on and off for three years , it was always me to break things off and initiate no contact for awhile. We’d always end up talking again with him trying to win me back and I was always hesitant . I took advantage because of how much I knew he loved me and never thought he wouldn’t be there . This last time was different though , I wanted to give him my all and for us to finally be together. Although he moved back home to Ny and I still live in Va we kept in contact . We talked everyday , with I love you’s and plans for a future together. Everything was great , so I thought . I arranged a trip to go visit him and we were so excited with plans on what to do when I got there . So the day I’m suppose to catch the bus to come to him he sends me a txt that morning “don’t come up here, everything fell through” I immediately called him and he didn’t answer , I sent txts and still no answer. Long story short I went crazy and called him over 50 times with txts and voicemails also and he didn’t respond to any of them. So I’m on day 3 without talking to him, in this case is it even worth a NC with a possible reconciliation ? An I being stupid he obviously made it clear he doesn’t want me anymore and he used this trip to get back at me
Lea

November 2, 2015 at 6:26 pm

Hi Chris, my ex broke up with me told me he didn’t want a relationship but when he was ready he would tell me but then said he no longer had any feelings towards me what so ever it got really ugly and I became clingy until he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. I have finally decided to do the no contact rule and it’s been a few weeks and I have not heard a word from him, he has told me over and over he would never want to get back together, am I over my head with thinking I could ever get him to reconsider
Loya

November 2, 2015 at 11:11 am

Hi Chris,
I broke up with my LD boyfriend 5 days ago. When he didn’t cared about the break up, on the 3rd day of my NC attempt, after seeing some new intimate photos of him with some girl (thanks to my stalking talent), I texted him that I hated him and blocked him from my all social media accounts out of anger and disappointment. I’m pretty sure he still doesn’t have any idea why I texted him that and he’s the most stubborn ex I’ve ever had. I’m not sure if it will be cool to reach out to him after 30 days of NC if he doesn’t contact me. I’ll appreciate any kinds of help.
Sun Shine

November 2, 2015 at 1:52 am

Hi Chris,
My bf brokeup with me since last month bcoz i cheated on him with his bestfriend…I was guilty i begged of him to stay….But he blocked me….I am doing NC since last week..I even deactivated my account….I dont even what to do ….Please help me…Thanks in advance.

Sun Shine

November 2, 2015 at 7:50 pm

I was in a relationship with my ex bf on & off for 3 years….This year in june we had a fight over something & we brokeup we didnt talk for atleast 2 months…& during that time my ex’s bestfriend and i bcme v.gud friends…&i was friends with benefits with my ex’s bestfriend..But it was a mutual consent…After that we didnt get along together so we finished it and stopped talking to each other….Meanwhile my ex bf and i started talking to each other…We decidedti be in a relationship…After sometime he got to know everything about my friends with benefits with his bestie…As he was having my fb pass and evrything was ruined..He thinks that i and his bestie cheated on him….Please tell me what shud i do?? I want my ex bf back at any cost! :/

Sun Shine

November 2, 2015 at 1:44 am

Hi Chris,My bf brokeup with me last month..bcoz i cheated on him with his bestfriend…And now i want him back…I’ve already started with the NC rule…He blocked me after breakingup with me…and i deactivated my account..What should i do next please help me.Thaanks in advance..
Pamela

October 30, 2015 at 6:43 pm

My boyfriend after 11 months into the relationship in which we were very intimate suddenly said that he never felt for me and never loved me and now he has fallen for someone else and dumped me. This was on the 10th of november and on 12th he was roaming around with another girl and he seems to be in love with her completely. I have not talked to him since 10th but we are in the same class in college and have common friends. I ignore him fully but since the past few days he has been trying to start a conversation with me but I am not replying. I just am not being able to understand how I should behave in such situations.
Mon

October 24, 2015 at 7:43 am

Hi Chris,
I am on day 25 and he has not contacted me. We had the type of relationship with both felt was like a dream in every sense and we were both so happy. But during our 10mths he was working on getting his exgirlfriend out of his system. He had broke up with her after 3 yrs of a toxic relationship, he said he felt sad, angry and argued with her everyday but felt she was the love of his life and he had given up everything (got divorced for her) in his life for her but they couldnt be together. We had an relationship which was the total opposite and she couldnt believe how great it was. And all of a sudden his ex wrote him an email saying she was sorry for all the pain and hurt she had put him through and that after 1yr she realised she still loved him. So he broke up with me saying he had to try it again with her eventhough he did not know if it would work (3rd time trying to get back with her) and that he was willing to loose me. As i said, i am on day 25 and have been told by a friend that he has asked her back but she has asked him for time…. Should I make the first move to contact him once the 30days are up? Or should I continue to wait?
Claudia

October 23, 2015 at 9:14 am

Hi Chris,

I have a particular issue I can’t seem to find an answer to and I’ll keep this short.

Basically we were together for 7 years, I left because he wouldn’t treat me as a priority after all this time but I still love him dearly.

This was my first serious breakup and I didn’t know about the NCR or all the other stuff people do to get their ex back, so when he started texting me one day after the breakup he pulled me in a sick spiral (I was decided not to initiate contact)

For almost 5 months I’ve been in contact with him, sometimes from his side and sometimes from my side and I feel like I blew it, I blew all my chances with making him miss me even slightly and that he slowly got used to the life without me and I helped him with that unknowingly.

For a week now I started NCR, after I tried to have a serious talk with him and he just treated me bad when I initiated the talk.
He always gets angry and refuses to discuss and then just shuts me out completely.

Can you advise me if the no contact will still work after all this time?
Cam

October 20, 2015 at 11:35 pm

Chris,

I have been doing NC and i actually finished my 30-days 10 days ago so I am currently on day 40. I am really hesitant to contact him because 1. he has made no effort to contact me, 2. I have been checking on his social media and he seems to be interested in a girl who “was nothing to worry about” during our relationship. I am scared he has moved on, and my text will only solidify my desperate nature. What do you feel I should do, should i still contact him even though he seems to be moving on to another girl? It has been 2 months since our break up and the last time we spoke he did not respond back to my text.

Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:50 am

Is he a stubborn type? No your text will not solidify your desperate nature if you send the correct text. You need to get him chasing you. What was the text you sent before? Why did you break up initially?

Lauren

October 19, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Hi Chris,
I love your page- you offer great and practical advice. My question:
I have been on and off for about 3 years with my ex. Things have been up and down- long story short, I do believe he loves me very much, and I of course, love him. We got into a stupid fight and I have not heard from him in two weeks, which is the longest we have ever gone without talking. I broke this weekend and texted him, as I was so upset to not have heard from him. I’m back to NC, but he always comes around by now. Is it too late?

Lauren

October 20, 2015 at 2:14 pm

Our last conversation was terrible- lots of fighting and arguing.
Chris Seiter

October 20, 2015 at 2:23 am

No it’s not to late but you will have to do no contact for 30 days and start over. What was your last conversation about?

Sarah

October 19, 2015 at 12:12 am

When/If you have to be the one to make the contact after the 30 days, what should be the first text you send?

Chris Seiter

October 20, 2015 at 9:34 pm

Check this out,

https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/texting-an-ex-boyfriend-the-new-rules/

M

October 17, 2015 at 8:26 pm

Chris, quick help!
I started NC 25 days ago. He didn’t try to contact me even once. After he broke up with me he said he wanted to be friends because it was too painful not to have me in his life etc etc etc. Initially I said yes because I was desperate. But the next day I called him and told him I couldn’t do it and I needed to not be in touch to be able to move on. He said whatever, that it didn’t matter to him. Did I fuck it up because I said I wouldn’t stay in touch? I followed all the other recommendation from the PRO book though…
Should I still text him on day 30?
M.

M

October 29, 2015 at 12:36 am

Hey Chris! M here again.

So I followed your advice and contacted him after 30 days. First response was positive and so was the second one (he even said thanks for texting me!). I told a short story (didn’t wanna push it) and he followed. Two days later I start a friendly conversation to get to the memory part. But after like six texts he sends me a neutral “true” after I sent a text about halloween costumes. I couldn’t even finish the conversation, it felt so awkward… Now I don’t know if I should go back to NC for a while? PRO says that after a neutral we should, but I didn’t even get to the memory part… Is it going bad? Any quick advice?

Thanks!
M.
Chris Seiter

October 18, 2015 at 11:34 pm

I doubt you messed it up because of that.

I would still go ahead and text him.

Miriam

October 11, 2015 at 11:43 pm

Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me exactly 4 weeks ago. We have been together for almost 1.5 years and we lived together. He said he feels like he needs to be alone at this stage of his life and that we are too dependent on each other. He said he loves me so much and even cried but he made up his mind and that was it. I cried and begged him to think about it but he just said he made a decision. He moved out 2 days later, blocked me on facebook and didn’t contact me ever since. I was devestated for a week and didn’t stop crying. I could’t eat couldn’t sleep couldn’t work. But I knew it wouldn’t help contacting him so since he moved out I did NC.
I feel much better now. I got myself together, went out, kept myself super busy, met with friends and picked up a new hobby. But still I am thinking about him aaaalll the time.
I know that you said it doesn’t have to mean anything if he didn’t contact me. But still I feel sooo horrible about the fact that he didn’t speak to once since he broke up with me and even blocked me. He gives me the feeling like we had a huge fight and he just never wants to see me again. But nothing like that ever happened. He just decided he didn’t want me anymore.
So now 30 days of NC are almost over. Should I really contact him now? I want to so badly, but one of his reasons of breaking up was too much dependance. I am afraid that he will think that I still can’t live without him. Which I know is not true. But I don’t WANT to live without him.
Kerol

October 1, 2015 at 2:28 pm

Hello.!y boyfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago, when he first told me i was quite happy cause i wanted to break up with him too. Well for a week i was okay, hes in the same college as me. I see him everyday cause his class is next to mine. Well the day of my birthday i was waiting for him to wish me happy birthday but he didnt. So i texted him and told him wow thank you it was really nice of you. He texted me the day after asking me who i was (he broke his phone. We kinda argued and i ignored him. Yesterday i found out that he had cheated on me, while i was in albania. (Btw i havent contacted him much during that period). He said he did it cause i disappeared and cause he got fed up. Today we had a very bad fight at school. I got really mad and even slapped him cause he was laughing at me while i was talking. I still love him but im afraid that i have lost him for good. Do you think i can still make him miss him and make him want me back? And if so how, cause its difficult to ignore him when hes always next to my class talking to his girl friends and looking at me sometimes. Thank you x
MsLady

September 28, 2015 at 10:26 pm

Hello Chris,

I’m not a cougar LOL but the guy I was seeing is younger than me. I’ve been going thru the NC Rule since the guy that I was dating or suppose to be getting to know decided to give me the silent treatment. We only talked because I can’t consider it dating but it had only been 30 days for us. He was back and forth talking to me before our last time talking, he’d tell me Good Morning everyday, I was taking him dinner to his job, and we went on one date. Then an incident happened and by the end of our disagreement he told me I didn’t need to text him anymore and since then I haven’t….
WOW……IS HE KIDDING ME WITH THAT????
He’s very stubborn and it’s hard to get thru to him and I don’t know if that’s just the kind of guy he is since we only talked for 30 days or if he’s intimidated by me because I’m older than he is and he’s not use to a woman standing her ground to him. The way he started treating me kind of hurt because he claimed he liked me alot and he adored me so much but I thought that if a man likes a woman alot and he truly adores her he wouldn’t act the way he did. The way things ended between us was awkward for me because I’ve never dealt with anything like that before from any guy. He ended things because we had 2 silly disagreements twice that honestly could’ve been worked out had he been mature enough to sit down face to face with me and talk about things like adults usually do sometimes instead of throwing a silly Man Tantrum like a 4 year old. Now I really think he hates me because he told me not to text him anymore and on top of that when we were having our disagreement he had the nerve to block my number like a high school boy LOL but it wasn’t that big of a deal for him to go thru all of that.

Since then I’ve been using the NC Rule but I’m wondering if I need to start over. Here’s why I ask that question. On September 27th I was on my way to run errands and I had my grandkids with me. Because we were already out and I knew it would be awhile before I got back to my house I stopped at a store to get them some snacks and this store was on the way of making my first stop to take care of important business. Need I mention his family owns the store and sometimes he’s there to help them. As we entered the parking lot I was hoping he wouldn’t be there and just my luck I saw his vehicle but I knew what I was going to get. So, we went in the store and I got my grandkids some snacks. I didn’t speak to him heck I didn’t even acknowledge him, I didn’t look at him, heck I didn’t speak either. I was into my grandkids getting what they wanted to keep them a little busy while I take care of business and run errands and anyone with kids or grandkids know those between ages 1 and 6 are something else and keep you very busy LOL. Anyway, back to me, what I want to know is by me not giving him any kind of eye contact, not speaking to him, and I didn’t acknowledge that he was even there do I have to now start the NC Rule over? I’ve been actually doing great with the NC Rule but I do know this if it doesn’t help me or work for me I plan to just move on because one thing I’m not big on or a fan of that’s making a fool out of yourself especially when my method of trying to get him back didn’t work.

How do you get thru to a very stubborn guy? I thought I’d get my answers on the NC Rule and other things from a guy’s point of view. Also, does the NC Rule even work on guys who are so darn stubborn and throw Man Tantrums when things don’t always go their way? Say it isn’t so LOL. At then end of my NC Rule it would be nice if we can work things out and start over because we didn’t get to really know each other because it was only 30 days but I think if this NC Rule doesn’t work for me it’ll be easier to move along because we weren’t seeing each other long so there wasn’t alot of time put in with things. The funny thing is early on he said he just wanted someone who’d like him for him and not the things he have and his status and he honestly had that in a woman like me because I did like him for the person I was trying to get to know not for his status and everything he had but like alot of guys out there he was one of those that was 2 blind to see that but as I told him it’s unfortunate because I really am a great person and I truly value my friendships and relationships with any of my family and friends I have.
Roxy

September 22, 2015 at 6:45 am

Hi Chris,

The guy I was seeing for just less than 3 months broke up with me due to communication issues and constant arguing. He said he wanted to just be friends, that maybe in the future we can be more. (Not sure if he meant it or was just letting me down easy). and we haven’t contacted each other in 4 weeks. We liked each other for 2 years before I agreed to go out with him.

Seeing that he hasn’t contacted me, I was gonna reach out to him for his birthday next week, making 5 weeks of no contact. I have been studying your technique and read your E-book regarding texting.

I don’t know if he hasn’t contacted me because of his stubbornness or that he doesn’t care to hear from me. The day he broke up with me, I called and texted a few times, and he ignored me. I stopped that same day and went into no contact since.

Also, when we were seeing each other he only initiated contact with me once a week claiming he was really busy.

Will 5 weeks of no contact have worked on him still?

Thank you.
Linda

September 21, 2015 at 6:32 pm

I didn’t follow the no contact rule when i first broke up with my ex. Will it still work now? i can’t follow it for the full 30 days as i have to see my ex every fortnight as we attend a meetup together. He last messaged me last Thursday in reply to a message i sent him the day before but he was off out and he ended it with have a good evening so it didn’t think it warranted a reply as he was just replying to my message and it didn’t contain any questions. Anyway i decided not to reply and since then i haven’t heard from him and i haven’t contacted him as i thought i would try the no contact rule. Is it too late for that and will it work given our situation?

« Previous 1 … 33 34 35 36 37 … 59 Next »

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

2,699 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”