What To Do If Your Ex Doesn't Contact You During No Contact- How To Make Him Talk

2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”

April Eastman

March 3, 2022 at 2:46 pm

My bf and I were together over 6 years. We lived together and got along very well. Things got hectic with my daughter, her fiance and child moving in with us with my 2 sons who also live in my home. We were not at full plus capacity and we began bickering with each other. It became more fight then friends with us. We did not communicate well at all or I feel would could have recovered. He left. I tried to reconcile with no avail. I am doing no contact but he had already been pretty silent. I have heard nothing. Its been a week, probably not long enough. How long do you recommend I do no contact before reaching out?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 10, 2022 at 8:15 pm

Hey April I would say that you need to complete 30 days minimum or 45 max before reaching out

Assunta

February 22, 2022 at 6:16 pm

Hi, we have been together for 8 months. He broke up 3 weeks ago. We had few text in the first 10 day then I have been silent for the last. I told him I felt hurt and I would have contacted him when I was better. Is why he would not contact me? Or it definitely etely over for him? We both have been in rough relationships and on top I lost my daughter more than 2 years ago. He has said from beginning that he wasnot ready to committ to a relationship. I did not wanted really get committed too soon in a relationship and would have preferred to take my time too. I never told him this. He said he had to let me go as he can’t give now me the love and care I deserve. I have tried to walk at his speed, as it is fine for me. How do I tell him all this for a second chance? I felt he is worth waiting for but he think it won’t work between us.has he made his mind forever? Shall I give up or can I tell him I am here? Can’t understand what is going on. Thks
Assunta

February 22, 2022 at 12:41 pm

Hi, in a relationship for just less than I year. He broke up 3 weeks ago. We had few texts in the first two week, then 10 days ago I went silent. I told him that I felt hurt and I did not wanted to make things worse between us, so when ready I would have kept in touch. I believe this is why he has not texted? Or maybe for him is over? In y case both damaged by past relationship and on top 2years go I lost my daughter. He always said he was not ready to committ again. It is OK for me as I need time to trust again and want to know him better before embarking in a new relationship. He said I deserve better and cannot wait. Last text said his job was giving him a good distraction. Shall I give up on him or just be patient and give him the time. I have thought he is worth waiting for. Thanks

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

March 1, 2022 at 11:09 pm

Hey Assunta I am sorry but that is only something you can decide. I am happy to advise on either path that you choose, but you need to think if this is a person who is worth your time and effort.

Rhianeu

January 20, 2022 at 2:04 pm

Love your honesty, made me really think about my actions and his. Would highly recommend to anyone wanting assurance and a little bit of female guidance from a different point of view.
Best read since Lord of the rings was released.
Xo
alice

January 10, 2022 at 10:11 am

After four years of still broken relationship, we decided to move in together. However, I still did not feel confident as a woman, I did not feel that we were planning the future together. I said that I am a normal simple woman and I would like to have family, that I would like him to propose to me. And if he doesn’t feel it, then maybe he just doesn’t love me like he would love another woman. I left. He wanted to meet and said that he understood that he loves me but is not ready to propose. I said ok. And I left again. He called after a week that he wants to talk about his feelings and wants to focus on starting a family. It was the day before New Years Eve. During this conversation, he did not mention a meeting or anything like that. He doesn’t speak until today. I have covid, he saw my photo in instagram and he didn’t even ask how he was doing. What to do .. speak myself?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 10, 2022 at 4:41 pm

Hi Alice, I think you have been clear with what you want from him and he has said he is not ready for that commitment yet. I would suggest that you allow a 21 day no contact before you speak with him again. Hope you get better soon.

[email protected]

December 23, 2021 at 11:12 am

It’s been 5 months and no contact. I think he follows my posts but never reaches out. We were together 5 years with a 9 month break at the beginning. Didn’t even explain why he ended it
Brittney

December 16, 2021 at 1:20 pm

Holy wow the resentment part made a lot of sense. I miss him and I was blowing him up bc I didn’t want him to forget about me. And I think he is talking tonight girls trying to o get over me and find someone to replace me. But I know if someone truly loves you then u shouldn’t be easy to be replaced. Last thing I told him was I want to hear from you but only if you want too not bc u felt you had too. The waiting and watching phone and not knowing what he is doing is killing me.
Feeling confused

December 10, 2021 at 2:23 pm

My ex is currently going thru a divorce . We have been living together for 6 months, except that in the last 2 months he has broken things off and went back to his wife and son only to return again a few days or weeks later. ( its the 3rd time now) he suffers from depression
Today is a week that he has left and not a word from him yet. There are utilities still in his name that we share together, didn’t return the keys ??
Will he return or was this our final break up?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

January 16, 2022 at 9:54 pm

Hey there, it sounds as if your ex is unsure what he wants (divorcing his wife) and keeps changing his mind. Honestly, I would suggest that you take away the option to come back to you so easily when he changes his mind back. Don’t be his safety net if he wants you then he needs to realise that he cannot treat you as an option. As you share some utilities I would suggest that you request him to transfer them over to your name and request your key back. Stand up for yourself and what you want from a relationship from someone, knowing you deserve better than this.

T

November 29, 2021 at 7:45 am

My ex has said he will contact me when he is ready, he has health issues at the moment – it’s effecting his hypothalamus and he stated he can’t control his emotions but seems to be only with me, says it’s an internal response he doesn’t get angry or anything ( I’m hoping this is what caused our break up and once sorted we can work things out aswell) I’m only 9 days into no contact but we also have a 8 month old that he has seen for 1 hour since he broke up with me 8 weeks ago. Up until I started no contact I was the one who started conversations about our son, and always turned into being about him and then would stop texting me. If he doesn’t contact during the NC, should I just extend it until he does since he stated he would contact me when he is ready ? I’m so lost and feel so guilty for our baby.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 27, 2021 at 11:47 am

Hi T, so I would say that you need to be OPEN TO limited no contact, but you should not be chasing your ex to see his own child! If he reaches out to ask how baby is then you reply, but other than that do not reach out to him at all.

Avery

November 26, 2021 at 8:49 am

Hi I was in a 9 year relationship and ex broke up with me on the phone 8 days before our 10 year anniversary… he hasn’t reached out in 45 days . He said we weren’t on the same page and he wanted me to work towards being engaged and wanted me to show more commitment even though it’s been 10 years. I’m left confused what should I do

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 26, 2021 at 1:05 pm

Hi Avery, by the sounds of things your ex wanted more commitment as in taking the “next step” in a relationship, living together? Talks about getting married? Children possibly?

Ai

November 6, 2021 at 1:49 am

I been dating a guy for more than a year now and he just broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I know that he loves me and cared so much but he broke up with me because of stress and he told me that I dont deserve someone like him who cant commit to me because he is not ready yet. I know this sounds crazy but I want him back. I understand that he is having trouble with his life now and wants to fix himself but I still want him to be part of my future. On the first week of post breakup, he still somehow replies on my messages but after I bombarded him with calls and messages, he muted me on messenger and blocked my number. I saw articles before about no contact rule, which I just started a week ago and probably made huge mistakes. He started ignoring me 2 weeks ago before I started the no contact rule. Can I still fix this? Will this work? I love him so much I dont wanna lose him.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

December 27, 2021 at 12:10 pm

Hey Ai, you can but it really does start with No Contact for at least 30 days and working on yourself in that time, read up about being Ungettable and apply this to yourself. But also keep in mind that if he is not ready for a relationship then it will take time for him to change his mind the key to this situation is going to be patience.

Em

November 5, 2021 at 6:42 pm

What if he broke up with you, doesn’t contact you during or after the 30 day no contact period, and maybe he just isn’t interested anymore? I think that’s a huge possibility. He has watched my Instagram stories many times though but doesn’t follow me.

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

November 17, 2021 at 10:26 pm

Hi Em, you are supposed to start reaching out to your ex after the 30 days NC, using the texts examples that Chris suggests in his articles and videos adapting them to your exes interests.

Kayde

October 23, 2021 at 11:37 pm

What do you do after he contacts you, after a period of no contact.
How do respond and do continue to engage days afterwards.
Nisha

September 20, 2021 at 12:16 pm

Hi
I have a 1 year long relationship.he was so much into me for initial 6 months then got busy due to his work .we met rarely .he replied nicely to my calls but didnot initiate calls much.we met very few times in last few months.gradually he took me foregranted many times .even when I texted that it was urgent he didn’t pay much attention.now I m in 12 days of NC .he called me once on day 4 but I didn’t respond. On day 6 he asked common friends regarding me.i didnt reach out or called him.after that he neither called nor tried to enquire about me. V were at a meeting,I ignored him n he also didn’t bother to come to talk to me. For how long should I continue nc.will my silence make him realise that he repeatedly took me foregranted.will my circumstances change as I really want things to work out between us.
Nicole

September 5, 2021 at 6:42 pm

My ex just recently broke up with me over an email. I asked him if we could talk about things when he got back from his trip and he said yes. When he got home, I tried for a week and a half to get him to come and talk to me about things. He said he had a lot of bad things happen and he and his ex have been fighting about her moving back home, so he just shut down completely plus he was always having his kids when he was not working. After trying to text him for 4 days trying to get him to call or come and talk to me, I finally gave up and decided (after doing a lot of research) to do no contact with him and I have been struggling really hard with it. We were only together 3 months, but it felt like forever and I know he’s struggling about finally being on his own after a shitty marriage (he’s in the middle of a divorce and his ex is making things really hard for him). He said he needs to learn how to be by himself, but he could have handled the way he broke up with me better then he did. I am trying to make changes in my life because I do take some responsible in the break up but I don’t think I’m ready to move on from him just yet. How can I get him to notice that I am trying to change? How can I make contact with him after the no contact period is over because he is way to stubborn to reach out first? Also I am not sure if I am blocked on just messages but I refuse to call because I don’t want to make things worse
Angie

July 25, 2021 at 4:23 am

I made the mistake of begging and pleading over text messages for the first 3 days. I have since sent 3 more texts over 3 different days after my bf broke up with me 9 days ago. I found your site today and am starting the no contact today. He has ignored every text I have sent so far and unfriended me on Snapchat. iMessage is our only open form of contact. How do I show my best self if he can’t see it?
Áine Bunyan

July 23, 2021 at 5:30 am

My ex & now apart 6 months . Did meet up up with him in May for chat .He was very upset he has moved elsewhere for work . I told him he needed show me commitment if he wanted me back . I followed no contact for 30 days .
I did reach out to him day 8 .
Just got casual reply from him .
I asked him ring me & he did not .
Any advice please?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

August 6, 2021 at 11:18 pm

Hi Aine, so you say you completed a 30 day NC but reached out to him on day 8? This is not the no contact rule… you need to read the articles and follow the information.

Ka

July 21, 2021 at 11:58 am

So we got into a little fight Saturday and then we said we would forget about it but he got really upset and low and he broke up with me the next morning so I went to his house to try talk and couldn’t fix it but he was calling me babe and giving me kisses still and then we slept and he cuddled up to me then I we fell asleep and he woke me up “ babe I got McDonald’s” and we cuddled and watched a movie and then slept again and then we woke up and he said “ good morning beautiful” and we were saying like what we would love to do if we get back together like where we would go and all and he said I do hope we get back together I would love and I want to im just confused becaue he doesn’t want me now but I think his feelings were a lot that it made him think he doesn’t want me ygm . I just don’t no what to do like even when I left his he gave me a kiss and said I love you and when I was taking my stuff back he was like you can leave some and then when I was like if you do move on I hope your happy and he was like I’m not moving on so I’m really not sure
Teresa

July 9, 2021 at 1:26 am

So this is my first time on your site and I really like your content btw ☺️ so my only lingering question is this: what should I say when I “make the first move” and text him first after the NC period? Because I REALLY want to yell at him and tell him how much he sucks for not saying anything for 30 flipping days! but deep down I know that will be counterproductive. But I also don’t want to tell him how much I missed him because then it’ll come off as desperate right?

EBR Team Member: Shaunna

July 11, 2021 at 10:02 pm

Hey Teresa, there are a number of articles and videos to help you create your first text after your NC is complete

Breezy

July 4, 2021 at 3:29 pm

Hi,

Not a woman here. However, my ex girlfriend did break up with me. We talked a little bit following the breakup but I always had to initiate. She said things like “I love you as a person, you’re my bestfriend, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with you” and even went as far as keeping a box of all our keepsakes instead of throwing it out. I know she is on tinder doing god-knows-what. I am 5 days into my no contact period. She has not reached out and I doubt she will. However, she views ALL of my Snapchat stories promptly and likes ALL of my Instagram posts. I am not sure what this means as she did say the breakup was permanent. After the 30 days (which I’m assuming she won’t reach out), what should I say to reach out to her? All of her social media engagement with me makes me think she misses me. However, I think she may supplement that loneliness with shallow tinder guys instead. What do you think?

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2,697 thoughts on “What If He Doesn’t Contact You During No Contact?”