Exactly How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

2,742 thoughts on “How To Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back”

Jade

November 27, 2013 at 5:51 pm

Ok. My ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for 4 months and 8 days and I broke up with him because he cheated on! I heard it around school and asked him and he denied until the 12th he said he had to tell me something I asked if it had to do with the rumor he said yes but not what they were saying. I heard they had sex he says if was just a kiss. Then I broke up with him after he told me that. Then I did some research asking the other girl what happened, turns out they had sex. Told him I found out the truth and he said “sorry I wasn’t man enough to tell you”. He had been texting me and I reply but I didn’t text him first. He had been replying to ‘my stories’ on snapchat (which aren’t for him to reply to) and I didn’t reply back to 99.9% of them just like one or two. I had been going and watching movies with a group of friends(yes boys were there) every weekend since the breakup and posting it on Facebook and Instagram and putting it on ‘my story’ on snapchat and saw that he viewed it. last week he asked me what I did for the weekend I told him bout everything I did (which was very fun ) and he replied with “..you were busy..” in the text. Now it’s been 9 days since that text and he hasn’t texted me but he snapchated me replying to ‘my story’ and that was it. We had been talking in person at school but I didn’t talk first except for two times . He hasn’t contacted me since after the basketball game yesterday. And I want him to realize he made a mistake in cheating on me because right now he has no one! not even the girl he cheated on me with cuz she was in a relationship when it happened! But I want him to see what he lost ( I’m not trying to sound like I have a big head or anything but I’m mad and want to see him want me back) !! P.S. – he said he wanted my forgiveness and he asked for God’s forgiveness and he admitted that he was wrong but he lied to me before so I don’t know what to believe.
CONFUSED

November 25, 2013 at 1:49 pm

Hi.. I seriously need help getting back my ex. We dated for 5 months and everything was perfect until he started seeing fault in everything I did,accusing me of seeing other guys and having an affair.He also told me that he had started communicating with his ex and when I asked him if he would like to get back with her he said he doesn’t know.He started being really distant to the point where I decided to end the relationship,which was two months back. after two weeks I decided to call him,surprisisngly his ‘ex’answered the phone and told me to back off. meaning they decided to get back together. To cut a very long story short,he doesn’t really contact me but instead he tells me (when we run into each other – we live two houses apart) how much he misses and wants to get back with me and he once initiated being friends with benefits,which I said NO to. How do I get him back when he is back with his ex and they have dated for about 3 years before they broke up. When he sees me with other guys he gets angry but he expects me to be fine with his gf. I told him I will be his side chick. please help!

CONFUSED

November 25, 2013 at 1:57 pm

SORRY..I meant I told him I will NOT be his side chick and he said he knows that and he will work on it and that we will be together very soon.
admin

November 25, 2013 at 8:37 pm

I agree.. You shouldn’t be his second choice. YOU should be his FIRST choice.
CONFUSED

November 26, 2013 at 9:48 am

ok. So what I want to know is that is there a possibility of our relationship being restored? could he ever leave her again or should I just forget about him and move on?
admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:17 pm

There is a possiblity of course.
CONFUSED

December 5, 2013 at 3:02 pm

Ok. Today he just texted me saying he’s been thinking about me lately & doesn’t know why. I just replied by saying ‘I see’.. then he said have a lovely day. and I said ‘u too’. Hope I’m playing it right.

melissa

November 25, 2013 at 2:21 am

is it bad if i already broke the no contact rule??

admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:49 pm

No actually pretty normal but its not a good thing either.

Zoe

November 24, 2013 at 5:05 pm

Does NC get any easier? 2 of my guy friends said ill probably need to contact my ex first

admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:42 pm

You probably will and no its not going to be easy BUT its going to raise yoru chances.
Zoe

November 25, 2013 at 9:07 am

Thanks so much I’ll keep you informed

marie

November 24, 2013 at 1:33 pm

OK, so I was in a relationship that was going perfect but then he broke up with me the first time when we broke he didn’t say anything just walked away. Two months passed we were still talking once and awhile during that time, a message here and there, and ended up back together. After 6 months or so he felt a need to ended once again. The conversation during the break up was civil and mature wasnt yelling and screaming. He stated that he cares for me that I mean everything to him but he felt that I give him more then he can return. He was speaking emotionally but that he wanted to still talk from time to time. I told him no its not fair to him. We broke up on the 21st. And he keeps sending me messages like things we talking about when we were OK. But more so a message that he will not take no for a answer if I need help in anything to tell him but I never replied back. He is almost begging me to let him know. He is a fixer if there is a issue he finds a way to fix it. He thinks I’m all torn apart because he mention it which I am but not showing it to him or his friends. I restricted him and his friend on Facebook. I’m not sure if this no contact is helping or hurting us overall….I love the guy but I want him to realize how I can’t be his friend if I care so much for him

admin

November 24, 2013 at 8:16 pm

How long have you been in NC for?
marie

November 25, 2013 at 3:02 am

About 5 days he been panicky texting
marie

December 1, 2013 at 5:06 am

Btw question should I delete my Facebook or just delete him or just leave my Facebook page alone all together
admin

December 1, 2013 at 6:44 pm

Leave FAcebook alone. I even wrote a guide on this site about how to properly use Facebook.

Nelly

November 23, 2013 at 9:57 pm

My ex broke up with me because we fight to much and he dadted another girl for 2 months then they brake up. He txte me askin about my boyfiend and i told him we broke up and he said “sorry i missed you for some reason today but ill leave you alone”. Whats my next move? I dont wanna make it seem like inwas waitin for him i wanna play hard to get.

admin

November 24, 2013 at 7:08 pm

How long have you been in NC for?
Nelly

November 27, 2013 at 5:51 am

A couple weeks till he txted me whick was 5 days ago. He hasnt txted back after that and neither have i..

Jamie

November 23, 2013 at 6:22 am

Hi Chris,
I’ve dated a guy for 2 months and we both had a great time together. However, he wanted to just be friends at the end because I was going too fast and he wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. He said we should just be friends. At this point I just want to continue dating him because we go so well together! I haven’t contacted him for 3 weeks since I told him I’m not ready to be friends yet. What is a good first text?

admin

November 23, 2013 at 8:04 pm

Why don’t you use some of the examples on this page…

Sille

November 21, 2013 at 8:37 pm

I need advice about my situation… My ex and the father of my two kids and one on the way of five years broke up with me 3 weeks ago and has been living with a girl he used to work with ever since. I’m devastated over this break up and just want him back before he falls for her more than he already has. How do I do the NC rule with kids and 2 holidays coming up?

admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:16 pm

You can’t you are going to have to do LC it looks like.

Honey

November 21, 2013 at 3:09 pm

I want him back and how

admin

November 21, 2013 at 8:19 pm

Well have you implemented any of the advice on this site yet?

Rinichin

November 21, 2013 at 5:22 am

Hello,

So I have been doing the NC rule and my ex messaged me last night asking how im doing. I aplayed it cool and he seemed like he’s not ok.

I saw his photos on his fb and he looked sleepless.
I got worried so I phoned him and he sounded kinda weird IDK. I am not sure what to do after. Should I keep initiating the NC rule? I am very confused of our situation right now. What if he’ll fall out of love? Will he fall out of love? I want him back in my life and he said there’s a chance for us to get back together. I’m initiating the NC rule though. Will it work?

admin

November 21, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Can’t say 100% it will work BUT what I can say is tha tit will drastically improve your chances.

Zoe

November 20, 2013 at 3:12 pm

Ok so my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me 3 days ago. We met up that day and talked it out for 3 hours, we were both crying (he hadn’t cried on front of me before) and he was saying he didn’t want to do this but it was the right thing. We both have mental health issues (depression) that we had put to the side while we were together, and we’re both in college so we’re quite busy, but it recently got too much and after fights and outbursts from both of us he says he cant open up to me anymore and needs time. However I know he loves me because he said I was the one on the day we broke up. I’m struggling so badly because he was my best friend and the one I told everything to. I have been doing No Contact and I’m finding it so hard, but we both have tickets to a concert in 3 weeks time, should I wait till just before it and contact him? I just know that we should be back together and that it would be so much better the next time around, but I don’t know what to do? please help, its ruining my life

admin

November 20, 2013 at 6:06 pm

Maybe make the NC 2 weeks and find a way to work the concert in.
Zoe

November 20, 2013 at 3:15 pm

Also he begged me not to disapear from his life a few times during our break up conversation and I told him that it wasn’t fair on me and that I couldn’t do it. After 2 days I blocked him on facebook because it was too tempting, Im just freaking out over what the next step should be, I dont want to ignore him for so long that he moves on and gets over me!
Kari

November 21, 2013 at 6:51 pm

Honestly this stuff really works. It’s like guys need time to play and I’ve been there. The first time I went on the psycho EX GF mood. I text like a mad woman and got no answer. Once I got out of my depression and started going out. Posting pictures of me having fun ignoring him. He started calling me, and within a month we were back together. He waited the about 1 month to contact me before he realized that he missed me, and he would call me over silly stuff. Like if he left stuff at my house. Then he facebooked me telling me he was sorry and messed up, and then it went from there.

Now 2yrs later he broke up with me. Its been 3 days, and I have not contacted him. If he wants to be with me then he can be but this time. I won’t sit around waiting for no guy. I could be wasting all my time on Mr. Wrong while I’m passing up Mr. Right.

All though it hurts just remember you don’t wanna waste your time on someone will keep hurting you. I know I tell myself this but its so hard not drop everything and pick him up and bring him back home when he is ready.

Now my question is? I’ve been here with this guy before. We broke up 2yrs ago for 2mo he went did his think found a GF, and realized the grass was not greener on the other side, and come running back. Now this time he is facebooking and trying to find other girls to hang out with. Do guys go threw this ever so often they need to find “strange” and come running back? I hasn’t deleted me off facebook. I haven’t deleted him either, because I don’t care what he see’s. I have his fb pw and he has mine. I do stalk his facebook don’t get me wrong and he deletes the messages pretty quickly. Except ones that don’t matter, but ones to other girls are gone quickly. If he didn’t care about me why would he keep them a secret? I don’t keep none of my stuff a secret. Let him read all the guys hitting on me trying to take me out.

What you think?
Zoe

November 24, 2013 at 8:13 am

This helps a lot in just finding it so hard right now like it’s been one of the toughest things in my life because we were best friends and now there’s no contact… Why do you think he hasn’t contacted me? When we were leaving after the break up he was crying and hugging me and then said maybe we shouldn’t talk for a whole…. It is driving me insane I seriously need help with this!
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:04 pm

I am not sure I completely understand.

Need to find “strange” to come running back. Could you explain that part for me?
Kari

November 23, 2013 at 7:45 pm

I was trying to put it nice but find other girls to have sex with.

Sarah

November 20, 2013 at 6:40 am

Everyone has that one guy you’ve always tried to slip by，but end up in each others path. For three years I’ve had this guy who was really into me, but I’ve never been as interested. We hung out and became each others rebound while at the same time falling madly in love, but never able to admit it. We belonged together and hated each other for it. Then one day, he did. Told me he loved me and I of course got scared and ran. Finally after three years of rebounding I decide to give this guy a shot. I fell head over heals almost instantly and the feeling was mutual.He always told me he was afraid to show how much he cared because he claimed it was over rated. That people say it too often and sometimes mistake their true emotion with something else.So, he never told me he needed me or why he loved me or that I was beautiful. As a woman, we need that affection and attention, but I loved him so much I never let it bother me too much. Just as long as I reminded him. He did however buy me a promise ring. He told me that even though he can’t say it, he will always show it. He made me feel like I was the world. He promised me his everything. He was supposed to leave for the army this fall, but decided to wait another year to go so that he could be with me. We were together a year. During the middle of our relationship he started doing a kickboxing class and began studying Satanism. Even though we’re both raised in Christian families, I’m very open minded and never questioned it. I began showing support by reading about meditations rather than Satanism itself. As where I wasn’t as comfortable with the idea yet. I guess I loved his boldness. The way he was unafraid to question our famlies ethics. The way he had no boundary. Then he me told me that we needed to get out and explore the world. That we had so much ahead of us. We didn’t break up though. Then two weeks later he tells me the other lame excuses, and trust me they were lame! One about a war, he was afraid I’d die in the war? And another was “Every time I make a decision to do something drastic, there’s a Chinese accent to my thoughts. Making everything seen simple. So I need to go and focus on the things that are important in my life like kickboxing and Satanism.” Then finally called it quits. This was about a week ago. I’ve never been more crushed and utterly confused. I have tried talking to other guys, flirting, and getting out, but my mind is so fogged. I just want him back. I’ve written so many messages, but never decided what was absolutely perfect, so I erased them every time. I need something to make him remember that no woman will love him like I can. No one will understand like I did. I just don’t know what else to do. How do I get him back?

admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:50 pm

Have you done the NC rule yet?
Sarah

November 20, 2013 at 7:31 pm

I have, it’s been only 5 days and I feel like I am ready to do this, but I am worried that he’ll move on or that after the NC rule ends, the feeling will not be mutual. And the idea of being without him makes me crazy.
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:08 pm

Ok, thats a common worry. You might want to read my other NC guide?

affie

November 19, 2013 at 4:53 pm

Recently I told my boyfriend that when we broke up earlier this year I started talking to another guy. He usually text/call me everyday, but he hasn’t since I told him which was 4 days ago. I know it doesn’t mean long but I’m use to waking up to a message from him EVERYDAY. He said he forgave me, so why am I not hearing from him. What should I do?
PLZ HELP ME, I LOVE HIM

admin

November 19, 2013 at 7:52 pm

Hearing what for him?
affie

November 19, 2013 at 10:10 pm

He hasn’t call/text me since I told him about the other guy. Why is he avoiding talking to me? Its not like I cheated on him. What can I do to make him talk to me again?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:30 pm

Have you read any of the other guides on this site?

Jess

November 19, 2013 at 4:26 pm

My boyfriend of one year told me he cares about me a lot etc but has too many things going on to commit to a relationship atm. He asked to stay friends, which I agreed to at first. A week later I text him to say that we have had many good times and we are good in each other’s company but I cannot stay friends with him as I still have feelings for him and it would not be fair on either of us. He ignored that message until I said that I hoped he was not upset with me for making that decision and that I deserved more than that from him. Anyway, his last message to me was ‘I’m not upset with you, just don’t know what there is to discuss’.

We had great chemistry and got on from day one so naturally feel disappointed. I also think his feelings throughout the relationship were genuine. I have now been in NC for 2 weeks which I plan to continue, but I miss him. Have i ruined any chance of him contacting me again?

admin

November 19, 2013 at 7:50 pm

No way just keep doing what you are doing and you will increase your chances.

Ropnz

November 19, 2013 at 12:47 pm

Hi My boyfriend dumped me for the third time last night. At first when it happened i apologiest then we got back within a day, the second time he sent a massage 2 days after and we got back. So he did it again yesterday, he says is because he is confused and he is even going to a psychologist because he is not happy with his life, i told him i dont mind sticking with him through this process but he insiste that we break up. we both end up crying but i let it go. What are the chance we might be together again. My friend think he is going through a face and i should just give him space

admin

November 19, 2013 at 7:21 pm

Yes go into NC give him that space.
Ropnz

November 20, 2013 at 8:58 am

now i am not sure if i should delete his pictures on face book, i went throght his facebook and i see he hasnt deleted my pictures yet even the 1nce i have tagged him in, do you is because he still care or his waiting for me to delete them first. i still have him on all my social networks but we dont talk should i delete him as well. Thanks
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Not all but most of the pictures. Have you read my Facebook guide?
Ropnz

November 19, 2013 at 12:59 pm

by the way after last night i saw him this morning at work since every1 knows we dating he acted like nothing happened we smilled and chit chat for few second cause people where there then i left. havent spoken to him since nd usually during the day i used to check up on him. Please advice what to do

Christina

November 19, 2013 at 5:25 am

Hello!

So my ex and I were together for about 5 months. He wanted to marry me, saying I was the best girl he’s ever met. Problem was, his mother was disrespecting me by not wanting to meet me simply bc we were different cultures. He would try to convince me to just leave family out of it for now and “run away” and get married. Anyway, I broke up w him 3 times. The first time, the next day I literally begged for him back, even pretending I was contemplating suidicide (which I wasn’t…dumb move.) Anyway, we got back together and all was well. About a month and a half later, sadly when our love was at its strongest, I let my aunt mess with my head and she made me send him a text saying that we shouldn’t talk anymore until he gets his mom on board. Two weeks later I sent a message on fb reiteratting and he send me a message back saying how I deserve the best and he will work on a plan to change his mom’s mind. Well, I ended up texting him and we got back together. Days later, we both mutually realized getting back together wasn’t smart, and split again…I had told him my mom was trying to pressure me to meet this new guy. Anway, days after that I saw him responding to this comment on fb of some other girl, and he liked her profile picture, so I got all angry and sent him an official message on fb telling him off and signaling that we’re forever done. He blocked me. About a month later, I did the begging crap again and we got back to speaking terms, but he said it’s best to be just friends. His keeping emotions out of our convos drove me insane. Later, I made it look like to him that I was dating another guy, and he began calling me during our “date” (it was made up…it was a ploy) over and over, and I never answered. Next day, I texted and he played nonchalant. From then on we talked casually off and on, then fought, then I would reinitiate contact by sending loads of texts when he wouldn’t respond. The last real convo we had, he said it’s his circumstances that won’t allow us to be together (distance, his mom, and now, he says he needs to be working 70 hrs a week)…it got me so upset. He stopped responding to my texts, so I just let it all out, writing him a very well-written, memory-lane love letter signaling I was full of hope for our future and didn’t wanna give up on us. I texted him after I sent it asking if he got it, and he pissed me off sooo bad by not responding. So I sent him like 50 more texts, some angry, after that, to which I got no response (I figured.) I knew right then and there I’m not gonna be a fool like that and initiate contact w him ever again. I felt like I lost respect by all those times of chasing him. But I still want him back. He left me as a fb friend…I’m wondering why? Also, I was thinking of using fb to my advantage (later on, I can post an attractive picture of the “new me”)…I was thinking, if this time I don’t fall into my old habits (of contacting every month since the break up)…and go w.o contact for a good 3-6 months…what do you think will happen? Just so you know, he is a VERY stubborn person w an ego. Though I still love him…

admin

November 19, 2013 at 7:02 pm

Have you read my guide on the male mind during NC?

Jess

November 18, 2013 at 9:27 pm

My boyfriend of one year told me he cares about me a lot etc but has too many things going on to commit to a relationship atm. He asked to stay friends, which I agreed to at first. A week later I text him to say that we have had many good times and we are good in each other’s company but I cannot stay friends with him as I still have feelings for him. He ignored that message until I said that I deserved more than that from him. Anyway, his last message to me was ‘I’m not p***** off with you, just don’t know what there is to discuss’.

We had great chemistry and got on from day one so naturally feel disappointed. I have now been in NC for 3 weeks which I plan to continue, but I miss him. Have i ruined any chance of him contacting me again?

admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:13 pm

No I think you just need to be patinet. Do you have any idea what your text is going to be like?
Jess

November 19, 2013 at 8:31 pm

It would have been our one year anniversary in a couple of days so was going to text him a reminder of our first date – which was the best first date either of us had been on!

I am just worried that he will be too proud to respond or contact me first. Is it better for me to stay in NC for a while longer?
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:21 pm

As long as you think it takes…

ioana

November 18, 2013 at 7:53 am

Hi,
My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately and 2 days ago, I found out he cheated. I told him I know we’be been having our issues but I won’t take this. He told me he is going to think about it and let me know but from what is he saying and from the fights, I think he is going to dump me. Any advice on how I could prevent that now? Thanks a lot

admin

November 18, 2013 at 7:02 pm

If he is going to dump you I don’t think there is much you can do. BUT there is something you can do if he does indeed dump you.

Christine

November 18, 2013 at 1:17 am

My ex and I had been on and off for the past month. We had been dating for a little over 9 months at the time, and we just broke up for a third time a couple of days ago.

He says he’s been going through a really difficult time lately. We’re at college and he has so many commitments and leadership positions in several school orgs, but he is particularly unhappy with one and feels really stuck with it and regrets joining. Plus, he has some family issues going on back home (the impending death of a grandparent). He now talks often about how cluttered his life is.

In the beginning, he was so sweet, and we spent so much time together, and even spent the entire summer together abroad, but when we got back to school, everything changed. He would no longer make time for me and would choose to hang out with his friends and get wasted and go to concerts a lot of the time. He never really tried to schedule any special time together, except for sleeping over at my place at the end of the day.

I was obviously unhappy about this. I started nagging as a result, and we would get into fights about how unequal things were and how he wasn’t giving me enough time. Even though he had a demanding schedule, he still had time to be with his friends and he always chose them over me. He said “I always felt like I had to choose between you and them last year, so now I just want to go to everything.” He has been extremely neglectful lately, and I just know this isn’t how he usually is. Even when we had hard times over the summer, he would still fight for us. But now he just runs and doesn’t spend time with me. Needless to say, things have done a 180 turn since the beginning of the relationship – now I’m the one that loves more, and I’m the one that’s always texting, etc.

We have broken up three times now – the past two times we got back together, I had made conscious efforts to change. While things were always good the first few days after making up, he always fell back into being distant, kept neglecting me, never responded to my texts or couldn’t/wouldn’t keep a text convo going, would leave me hanging, and would even forget about time we planned out to spend together. It’s like he would only hit me up whenever it was convenient for him. I decided to be patient and give him space, and just be there for him, but I did tell him I didn’t like that he blew me off the one time that he did.

This past time, we broke up a few days ago, and it caught me off guard to be honest. I knew that things were getting more intense at home with his grandparent situation, so I dropped everything to be with him and comfort him the night before we broke up, and everything seemed fine.

Then the following day, he told me that he had to fly back home because of that situation the following day and that he “just couldn’t date me right now.”

I was blindsided. I knew we had problems, but I had already decided to just be his listening ear and be there for him. It hurt because of how abrupt it was, and I had just literally dropped everything to support him the night before, and how casually and how inconsiderate he was to do it that way.

We talked afterwards and it was more civil conversation, where he again explained again how “cluttered his life was” once again, as he did every time we broke up. I told him he didn’t have to worry about me this time around and that I just wanted to be there for him, but he said he can’t be committed right now. He feels like he’s being pulled in so many directions and that so many people are telling him what to do like his friends, and he just can’t date me right now, even though it “doesn’t have to be permanent.”

I love him so much, and I wanted to be there for him through this really difficult time, but he does not want my support or me at this time, so I agreed and told him if I really loved him I’d have to let him go.

It’s weird because when we parted ways we still said I love you and hugged, with forehead kisses. He just looked really sad, and I was crying and I told him to take care of himself and to let me know if anything urgent happened.

I can’t help feeling that my bitchy behavior in the beginning of the year helped push him down this path to where he now needs to cope by going away to drink and get high and go to concerts all the time. I wasn’t there for him, but now that I want to be, he’s already so fed up and just wants to be clear of me. At the same time, his neglect of me wasn’t fair either.

We haven’t been broken up for long at all yet, but of course I’m concerned for his well being, especially since he’s got a dying close relative to think about.

I guess I’m just confused. It sounds like he wants me to wait for him, but at the same time, not wait for him. Am I right in thinking that he wants to straighten his life out before deciding to get back into a relationship with me? Or could he possibly be just cutting me off for good/taking the time to decide whether I’m worth it or not? It doesn’t help that winter break starts around the time the NC rule would end for me, so reconnecting in a sense would be hard since we live on opposite coasts.

And I suppose my biggest question is, if he contacts me seeking comfort because of his grandparent’s death, what do I do? I know I should do the No Contact rule generally, and I will definitely not be reaching out to him (I haven’t texted him yet, and I certainly do not plan on it). But I don’t know what to do if he contacts me regarding the family tragedy, especially because I told him that he could contact me if anything happens (I did this before reading this website too).

I understand that I shouldn’t talk to him because he’s the one that pushed me away and didn’t want my support, but in this instance, is this an exception? I’m not really sure what to make of the situation.

Your help is very much appreciated 🙂

admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:25 pm

I think in this case you can.
Christine

November 19, 2013 at 11:25 pm

Thanks for your reply 🙂

So he actually returned to campus, and he posted some throwback pics on instagram, changed his profile pic to something really fratty but made his facebook cover photo a pic I took of him when we were together during the summer. He seems fine over social media – I found this all out through scrolling down feeds, and I have now blocked my feed from viewing his posts. He hasn’t contacted me at all either since the break. Do you think maybe he’s happy about the break up and he’s moving on…? He didn’t seem that way when it happened :/
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:35 pm

Most guys think they are right after a breakup. It usually takes a while for the regret to kick in.
Christine

November 21, 2013 at 8:35 pm

Thanks Chris.

Another thing – a friend told me he looks like shit right now. Just very tired and haggard and beaten down, so he’s definitely putting up a front. I saw him yesterday, but pretended not to notice him, and he definitely saw me. I heard afterwards he was acting overly happy (likely overcompensating).

It’s been 8 days and still, he hasn’t contacted me at all… I’m really worried for his wellbeing. But should I just keep on with NC? I don’t want to be a bitch and leave him out to dry because he is going through an extremely rough time right now, yet at the same time I want him to be the one reaching out to me if he needs it. I’m not sure what to do because in this situation, he’s got issues going on at home, and I still do care about him.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:17 pm

I would keep up the NC yes.
Christine

November 24, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Hey Chris,

So, I effed up big time.

My ex posted a pic of him going to a semi formal with some girl I’d never seen before on instagram (a formal he had invited me to before we had broken up). I got fired up, packed his shit up, and met with him to give it back the following day.

I asked him how he was and he was acting normal, but had a grim outlook on life. He said he just accepted that his grandmother is going to die eventually, he may have thanksgiving break/christmas break, but everything eventually comes to an end, and you “have to love what you’ve got while you still have it.” HAHA the irony!

I was being too nice. Probably seemed clingy and desperate to get back together by being so supportive. I stupidly said “sometimes I’m lying there and ask why he’s not there next to me” and I asked if any part of him feels that way, and he said yes while looking away, but he can’t do anything.

I asked him if he was intentionally being cruel and pushing me away, because I saw the Instagram picture and he said he was drunk and it was late when he posted it, so he wasn’t even thinking. But that was SUCH a douchebag move regardless!!!!!!!!!! He said he’s not intentionally fucking with my head.

And still I was too nice. After more talking I told him I missed him, and he said it under his breath too like maybe he was just being nice. We hugged and it was very one sided.

He said he’s not looking to hook up with other girls or anything, but he just goes to everything.

He said he wants to hang out, but doesn’t want to hurt me while we hang out. And I agreed, but I texted him back later that day saying that I couldn’t do it, and that it would hurt too much knowing we wouldn’t be together at the end of the day, and that hanging out would feel too much like dating. I told him that wasn’t healthy for me, and that I was going to move on and do me.

He never responded to the text, but he liked a pic I posted on Instagram yesterday… he’s just being so disrespectful and tactless and stupid. He seems almost apathetic about me right now…

What do I do?
admin

November 25, 2013 at 7:17 pm

What do you want to do? Do you want someone like this back?
Christine

November 26, 2013 at 6:01 am

Also, i just noticed he is slowly deleting all of our pics together on Instagram/Facebook. What does this mean? 🙁
admin

November 26, 2013 at 8:07 pm

Mean he is doing what you are supposed to do after a breakup.
Christine

November 26, 2013 at 1:48 am

Honestly… this isn’t like him. He’s so much kinder and warmer, and is actually a considerate person. I really think this is as a result of his current circumstances… but I suppose time will tell.

I feel like he just needs time and space to think and work on himself. Since we broke up and got back together twice, it’s hardened him a little more to me and has made him kind of skeptical about the relationship/me. I guess the real question for me is, how long should I give him space for?
admin

November 26, 2013 at 7:46 pm

However long it takes!

I usually recommend a month.

KB

November 18, 2013 at 1:01 am

Hi Chris.
I’ve been talking to my ex via text message and had sent a memory text which went very well. He was very flirty and very much the person I had been talking to before we started dating. I ended the conversation without replying and proceeded to wait a couple of days. So this morning I sent him a “reminder” text and got a neutral response…
Me – “Morning. The Ford day is on this weekend at Queanbeyan. I saw signs on my way to work and thought you might be interested”

Him – “Thanks”

Me – “Your welcome. Hope you have a great day :-)”

He’s a mechanic and loves cars. Did I hit a nerve? What do I do now?

admin

November 18, 2013 at 6:23 pm

You did good! Now I think that you wait a few days and try another conversation extending it a little longer.
KB

November 18, 2013 at 10:15 pm

1. But isn’t that a neutral response, so I should wait a week?

2. I think he’s catching onto the spacing between texts though…

3. I haven’t used the “I have a confession” text yet. Could I use this to strike up another conversation?

Thank Chris.
admin

November 19, 2013 at 6:17 pm

1. Not a week just about 5 days I would say.
2. Then do a better job of spacing them haha.
3. Absolutely!
KB

November 19, 2013 at 9:26 pm

1. Ok cool. Thanks.
2. I’ll try lol but its hard!
3. Can you tell me yay or nay for this confession text – “Everytime I hear “mind your manners” by chiddy bang it reminds me of you and how you used to sing and point your two fingers to do a little dance. Makes me giggle! You and your extreme diverse dance moves 😛 I think I need some lessons”

He can’t dance for crap lol. But everytime that song came on he would sing it to me and do a little jig! He’s hopeless lol.

Thanks chris!
admin

November 20, 2013 at 5:29 pm

Yay on the confession text!

P.S. I can’t dance but I am going to make my next girlfriend teach me hahaha.
KB

November 20, 2013 at 10:00 pm

Thanks for your help! No doubt I’ll pester you again 😛

P.S. Get a few drinks in ya and you’ll be shakin your tail feather in no time! lol
admin

November 21, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Hahahahahaha I doubt it.. Ill more be laughing at everything.
KB

November 21, 2013 at 10:02 pm

I was the one who added you on facebook the other day too. I hope that was ok :-)Girl from ACT.
admin

November 22, 2013 at 7:21 pm

It was more than fine. Just I have had to cut back on talking to ppl on Facebook b/c even taht is getting too overwhelming..

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