Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

April

January 30, 2015 at 12:36 am

Hi I need some advice here really badly. I have read almost all your articles on getting an ex back and I still need help. So I was seeing this guy for about 4 months. I really liked him. I felt like I was in love with him, but I did not realize that he felt the same way. Our plans would not work out. However we worked together and saw each other frequently. I was also taking the same class as him. We would talk every day for the course of the four months. But he completely stopped talking to me from one day to the next. I could not figure it out at first what had happened, but then a mutual friend told me that he felt like I had played him with another guy. He thought that I was two timing him.according to a mutual friend he was heartbroken and does not want anything to do with me. But what he thinks happened is not true. I was hanging out with this other guy because he was easy to make plans with but I did not like him the same way as I liked this guy. So after 5 weeks of him not talking to me, I sent him one long heart felt message basically apologizing if had hurt him in any way and that I am not together with the other guy I also told him I miss him and all the great times we had together. (I know now that was a mistake). It has been a week and no response. I unfollowed him on social media because I could not take it any more. I am miserablle and I want him back. Please give me advice on what I should do.

admin

January 30, 2015 at 4:39 pm

Well, you messed up by sending that long heartfelt message.

You shouldnt have done that at that stage.
April

February 5, 2015 at 3:20 am

I know, I regretted sending it immediately after, but I was just acting upon emotion. Should I just continue NC now? Or have I messed things up too bad?

fyn

January 29, 2015 at 7:57 pm

Hi, read this post and it really make sense to me. However I’m dealing with another another situation here and I really need advice. I met this guy in a club and we hooked up, He’s a good friend of my friend and my friend all told me He’s a nice guy however he just broke up with his ex gf of a year plus. After the club incident we continue to contact and I’m really interested in him but I wasn’t sure about him. One day he was drunk he texted me saying he really like me but He’s afraid of getting hurt again and I told we should know each other better instead of they usual hook up. At first things went really well but Suddenly he grew cold, he don’t text me first Anyone and I’ll be the one who text him first. I confronted him and he say It’s nothing He’s just not ready I asked him if he wants me to leave him alone to give up on him he said no he wants me around.I though things would get better after I confronted him but no he grew colder and colder so I confronted him again this time he told me he don’t know what he want and the next day he kind of ended things with me (we’re
Flings ) he told me we should just be friends and we should Stop doing wrong things again and again. One day I broke off contact with him completely and he deleted my social network account but when he’ll drunk text Me Asking if I miss him and stuffs like that but when He’s sober he’ll ask me to ignore him. I cannot understand his actions and I really want things to work out between us, any advice? Sorry for the lengthy post

admin

January 30, 2015 at 4:00 pm

He seems to be kind of hurt by his ex girlfriend but he really does like you.

He is still working those feelings out in my opinion.
fyn

January 30, 2015 at 4:23 pm

So What should I do? I texted him yesterday but he did not reply, if I start the NCR would it work?
admin

January 31, 2015 at 3:19 pm

Go ahead and start it.
fyn

January 31, 2015 at 4:06 pm

Thanks!
fyn

February 8, 2015 at 6:33 pm

I implemented the no contact rule , he got a girl he like now and they few days ago he posted on instagram with a photo with her in bed and then he blocked me on instagram. That girl was a mutual friend of mine and I found out that he asked her to be together with him. I’m still going to continue the NCR. Can tell me about your thoughts?on his actions I mean

laura

January 29, 2015 at 3:29 pm

Hiya Chris,

Love the site, very helpful, however I have a situation with my ex. We broke up about 6 months ago over a misunderstanding (he thought I cheated, I didn’t, he didn’t raise his issues and but went cold instead so I ended it) but then we talked about it after and now we’re really good friends again. Did the full NC rule straight after the break up though mind (honestly).

When we have our weekly lectures together we have a lot of fun and its just likely old times, like we flirt and have loads of inside jokes that only we find funny but when he sees me round uni he blanks me, any thoughts why?

Id like to give it another try because we broke up for essentially no reason and we really click. Any tips would be great. Thank you!

admin

January 30, 2015 at 3:30 pm

Have you initiated contact post NC yet?
laura

February 1, 2015 at 5:41 pm

I don’t but he pops up on facebook around every 2 weeks with a jokey comment often an inside joke that only we find funny. But like I said he ignores me when he walks past in uni. I’m relatively attractive so I don’t think he’s embarrassed of me..? But I’m not a bloke so I don’t know haha. Any thoughts why and what to do now?
laura

February 1, 2015 at 5:52 pm

2 other facts: 1. He definitely sees me! Haha

2. And he’s told me he hasn’t done anything with anyone else since me, and I believe that. What does that normally mean?

nener

January 29, 2015 at 6:02 am

me and my ex broke up after 5 years of serious relationship. he said he didnt feel compatible to me, thats why we broke up. right after 3 weeks after break up, he already chase new girl. it’s already 4 months of break up, he didnt contact me now and ignore my chat because he said he want to focus 100% on the new girl.

What should i do?
i’ve done NC but it is not working
Shud i try another NC? what should i do if the girl become his new GF during my NC?

he said i should not contact him if later the girl become his new girlfriend, and he will blocked me if i contact him.

i beg and cry, i am not controlable

admin

January 29, 2015 at 3:12 pm

How do you know its not working?

How long have you been in it?

Elle

January 28, 2015 at 1:21 am

My ex boyfriend and I began dating this past summer. All was splendid in the beginning, however, he soon became a slave to his work. With his career pressures ever-rising, the dynamics of our relationship suffered greatly. Late one evening when I was delivering nourishment to his lab we became embroiled in a heated discussion. We both left in tears. It was unlike any conversation we’d had prior. I sent him one text and left one voicemail in the week to follow. Both were ignored. Thus, I refrained from any further attempts to communicate. Fast forward 1.5 months: my ex suffered from a nervous breakdown. He appeared at my apartment at 3:20am one morning seeking a place to stay, but, as I was asleep and didn’t hear the commotion, he was met by my roommates. Both declined his request, and he slipped away into obscurity. A missing persons case was opened for a total of 48 hours. He was found in the same location where I saw him last – his lab.

My ex and I dated for six months. I had accomplished 45 days of NC when my ex appeared at my door (exactly 23 days ago). Hopeful and doubtful, I sent my ex a brief email (2 days ago). I no longer have his phone number, as I deleted it in a rage after our fight. Also, I was told that during his hiatus he lost his phone. Thus, I determined email my best means. Light and reminiscent I alluded to a comedic and didactic moment we shared. The message, all of four lines, was fun and wished him well. I stifled the urge to contact him sooner out of respect for him. Psychological trauma is never seamless, and the best thing for him is to allow him the space he needs to heal. Nevertheless, my selfish curiosity and desire to speak with him got the best of me.

I want to believe that my ex sought out my home in his time of need because he still cares for me. I want to believe that we still have a shot, that no situation is insurmountable. But, nothing can be accomplished sans dialogue.

What is your advice? Should I again begin NC? Should I again attempt to communicate with him? Should I liaise with his best friend, a third party, to determine his present state and my odds?

I miss him dearly. I miss our conversations; I miss my friend. I have to try…and, if I’m unsuccessful, I know I’ll have to take the necessary steps to move forward.

admin

January 28, 2015 at 4:40 pm

I think maybe your problem lies in how you are contactin ghim.

In the past how exactly did you contact him?

What words did you use?
Elle

January 28, 2015 at 11:59 pm

Texting and phone calls were once our primary means of communique.

Words? For him, it’s not so much the verbiage as it is the feeling of engaging in a dialogue tethered in truth. I can’t recall succinct language, but I can mentally reference subject matter. He typically steered our dialogues, as he is the more verbally savvy. I was often the sounding board. We talked a great deal about his work and the struggles that accompanied it. I attempted to reassure.

In my most recent attempt, I referenced a comedic shared moment (I read your text conversation suggestions). Have you any other suggestions? He’s the type to ignore, express disdain for the “You’re not going to believe…” message. How do I conquer the man who knows too much (ha)?
admin

January 29, 2015 at 2:56 pm

Check you out with all the ten dollar words.

Well, I think the best way going forward is to think up a message that is intriguing yet wont cause him disdain.

What about the I have a confession message?
Elle

February 1, 2015 at 4:14 am

Ah, yes, haha. I seem to be adept at manipulating words…just not the right ones.

Therein lies the difficulty: composing the perfect message. I want to incite a dialogue while demonstrating an understanding of, respect for his person. He finds emotionally leading questions (manipulation of any kind really) repugnant. To provoke with a ‘confession’ would irk him.

This is a difficult person. He’s brilliant with a knack for anticipating the intentions of others, something I’ve both loved and hated. I’m sacrificing my pawns to someone who’s robbed me of my queen in one move.

I’m wary of sending too many messages and making too many attempts because of appearances. Never have I been (nor will I ever be) that needy, desperate girl. I don’t send multiple messages to those who ignore me. I don’t send multiple messages to those who don’t ignore me. Also, I’m skeptical of my capability to drive any change.

My mom and friends believe he’ll come back in time…on his time. They’ve each a hypothesis for what’s keeping him at bay. I waver in my belief their assertions may be true. Also, I mentally debate the connotations associated with such a return. At what point is inaction the most powerful action?

Megan

January 27, 2015 at 10:59 pm

*long message coming through*

I have been dating this guy for nearly a year (he dumped me 4 days before our first anniversary). he just turned 18 the other day and im 20. we’re both in our college and im his first girlfriend. We’re both on our college and he’s one of those “skinny pale gamers that hasn’t had a girlfriend” type. He said that I looked like the ungettable type and there were loads of guys on our class who actually are interested on dating me and also, he said that i was the prettiest and classiest out of everyone and it doesn’t even look like he’ll have a chance on me. I approached him back then because i have a secret crush on him and we started hanging out and eventually just went out. He discovered my problems with my family and how they’re always trying to kick me out, how I lied to my parents on summer, commit suicide on summer, how i got involved with the police on summer, how I have to leave my job because I hated it and things like that. For me, the relationship was pure bliss but it has it’s ups and down. During the course of the relationship, we would be together 24/7 except on Sunday because he’ll be with his family doing his stuff and I would get jealous because I wanna be with him. I started staying at his place even more and more. Everything went boring and the sex was getting extremely better on the last bits though (I lost my virginity to him and i was his first with everything). I was thinking of going up north and tried to threathen him to break up with him if he doesn’t want to be with me. I thought it was horrible but I was just afraid of losing him that’s why I said that. I also tried to break up with him around halloween in which he called me and told me he doesn’t want to end up as one of the guys on my list (i had quite a few bf before him) Fast forward, a week before we broke up, his dad gave me a lift home and i saw my stuff on luggage bag. I thought my parents are going to kick me out AGAIN (they do it almost every single time and my parents are literally forcing me to live at his place and this is not the first time this happened and his parents said that he shouldn’t experience this because he’s way too young) and I saw a note and i thought it was a threat from my parents. I called him and panicked and he told me to call the police so i did. Then i read the note and it’s actually an address letter. He asked for a picture and i confessed that i made a mistake. he got proper mad and his parents and his brother said they don’t trust me because im not honest. I apologize that night because I genuinely didn’t read it. that night i felt that it was over, i don’t know why but i felt like he’s had enough. His dad told me that he doesn’t wanna talk to me so I didn’t talk to him for a week. He told my friend that he’s fed up, he’s had enough, im too clingy and needy, mean, and now he knows the true me, he doesn’t wanna be with me anymore. He’s also angry because i would ask him to turn off his PC and i’ll still be on my phone so thats like attention seeking for him. I was called on the office and acted cold to him at first then he told me it was over and he’s not happy and ran away. I started crying and screaming (he’s not on the room) because I wasn’t able to contain my emotions. I’m not allowed to talk to him at college because that’ll be harassment if i do. I chased him after college and begged him and stuff and acted desperate thinking that i can change his decision. He said that he cant take it back and that im manipulating him again and stuff. I was kicked out of college that day. Then when i got home i called his friend and asked him to help me and he said that my ex doesn’t like this but it has to be this way. my ex then asked his friends not to talk to me and stuff. I went mad and gave him around 45 missed call that night and sent him 2 long messages on his what’s app. I messaged his brother but his bro just ignored me and told me to fuck off because im crazy. I mesage his dad if we can talk and shit but i didn’t get any response. I didn’t message him and when we saw each other on college, he just ignored me and acted like i never existed. It was the holiday so i was abe to get sometime away from him. i messaged him on the 22nd to say that i agree with the breakup and apologize for everything. haven’t greeted him nor talk to him. we attend the same course so we see each other but he ignores me. i’m acting all genuinely happy, cheerful, confident, and everything. I look much more attractive. On the other hand, he looks isolated and physically unattractive. He looks like he just doesn’t give a fvck and he’s turn really bad. Im aware of what happened and im trying to improve not just for him but for me and my next relationship. I have surprassed the 30 days NC ( 36 days now which is really hard) because he made it clear that he doesn’t want to talk to me and that there’s nothing i can do since i don’t have any contact with him anymore outside and im not allowed to talk to him on college. It’s funny because at home i can’t stop but think about him and the events just keep on replaying on my head. My friends has been there and i’ve been much more sociable than i was.I’ve been doing loads of activities and i feel good about myself. one of my friends said thta he doesn’t look happy right now and he would steal glance at me (im not sure but it might be just because he moved seats behind me as he used to sit beside me) and he looks like he wanna go back to me but it looks like there’s something stopping him. he also bought a drink that i normally buy (which is my fave) which kinda gave me false hope. I did some mistakes though because of the neediness at the beginning and also i started talking to my friends about this guy that i met on holidays (just a fling) when everyone can hear cause i was trying to rub it off on his face how happy i was (which i wasn’t and that was wrong). now my friend says that he’s started to dress consciously and that he’s actually quite good. I actually felt good when he was worse because it made me feel like i was winning but now i feel like im losing even though i want him to be better. I know i shouldn’t be scared but im still genuinely vulnerable. I love him enough to let him go but like at the sme time, i know he told me that he wants to end up with me and get married with me, have kids, and this guys introduced me to his extended family when we were going out so i know his serious. He told me way before that he’s only going to break up woth me if i cheated or did something horrible and talking to his ex would be weird because they’re exes (he is also stubborn and he knows it). I know it’s impossible but at the same time im hoping and im currently lost. i need help.

Like what I said:
-Im a bit aware of the problem, i think
-I’m on a strict NC and i can’t really talk to him or break it since im not allowed to talk to him
-being happy, confident, independent, and the old me
-making good physical changes

Sorry for the long post

admin

January 28, 2015 at 4:26 pm

1. Glad you are aware that is always good.
2. Good that is what I recommend.
3. What steps are you taking to do this?
4. Same questions as above.
megan

January 28, 2015 at 7:16 pm

I’ve been doing things that I love and being sociable. I’ve been going out with friends, doing some shopping with them and sleepovers. I play games that I love and enjoy and I just started doing yoga and meditation and I regularly work out. I’m quite cheerful in class and my friends says that it looks like I’m back to my old self and some people in our class are actually approaching me because im one of those people that you can easily and happily talk to. I have a new hairstyle and a bit fitter, I have some new bags and cute stuff and I have a couple of new tops.

I’ve read ALL your advice and they just don’t fit me when it comes to my ex. sorry. It’s because I’m not allowed to talk to him on college and I’ve been blocked on all social media and my phone so I’ve got no way of communication with this person. He did it like on the night of our breakup but he unfriended me on facebook the day after I accepted the break up and messaged him on steam (hhave to unfriend him on steam because it hurts seeing him online).

I really wanna influence him on getting back with me because I know it’s what I can do. I don’t wanna come off as desperate but I do want to be with him before we both move on because I don’t NEED him in my life but I still want him and I do genuinely love him and I know he was crazy about me when we’re going out.
admin

January 29, 2015 at 2:31 pm

But I talk about what to do if you are being blocked…

Did you read that page?
megan

January 29, 2015 at 3:57 pm

I have. Well it’s been about 2 months since the break up. I approached him this afternoon and talked for a bit and told him a bit about me but not a lot. I told him if I wanna catch up but he said his mum is picking him up. My friend also said that he posted a relationship post last week about two couples who were tickling each other and started kissing. I’m just going to improve myself and hope it’s for the best. I’m extremely happy now because I felt the spark when I approached this guy with positivity 🙂
megan

February 7, 2015 at 12:56 pm

Update. I do text him occasionally and he replies in a fun way. I reply to him after like hours. We’re classmates btw And rarely talk in class. Lat night, his seat mate (new close friend) started talking to me And said that he doesn’t hate me. He said that my ex still likes me but not like like me and not how he used to. I kinda cried on him and he told my ex that were talking about him and that I cried. his friend then started telling me that if my ex would like to be friends if I wanted to but I don’t really know since I don’t wanna be stuck on being friends. He also said that if I want my ex back, I should approach him and ask why he broke up with me but I told him that’s not a good idea since he might think I’m needy. He also said that it’ll be helpful for me and that it might just be stress that caused the break up. My ex still goes to where we used to eat at lunch beforehand and his friend said that maybe he misses me. I really don’t know what to do.

Lyn

January 26, 2015 at 3:30 pm

I need some advice. I’m living in Korea and I dated a guy and the relationship really surprised me. I’ve never been so happy with someone. We were always honest with each other, had so much fun, and were so connected. Just genuinely happy, I actually believed he was really my match. But without warning it was over. His parents didn’t approve of me because I am white and he is Korean. They threatened to disown him if he did not stop dating me immediately. I was even there when they called screaming at him on the phone. He came over to my home and told me that we had to stop dating. He didn’t want to lose me, but his parents had to be more important in this case. Within two days after that he went cold, but asked that we stay good friends. We talked nearly everyday. Which I admit probably wasn’t the best idea.

Needless to say I was and still am in so much pain from our breakup even though its been months. I wish I could have went cold like he did. Its like all of a sudden I meant nothing to him just because of what his parents wanted. I am trying to move on and date, but I feel really broken and hopeless. I just can’t find anyone I’m really interested in even though I’m putting myself out there. I don’t understand why he went so cold so quickly? I’ve honestly done nothing to him. He told me before that its his personality to go cold after a breakup that he doesn’t get sad for long. I just need some advice from a guy’s perspective? He also does this hot and cold thing. Where he will be really into talking to me and asking me where I am, what I’m doing or who I am with. Then he will be cold the next day. Its so weird. Thoughts?

admin

January 27, 2015 at 2:14 pm

Ok, what specifically would you like me to answer?

The hot or cold thing or just advice on how to get him back.

NCN

January 25, 2015 at 7:08 pm

Hello, you seem to provide fairly sound advice, but I have a question: does the age and history of the couple factor into anything? Like if they’ve been together previously (first loves for each other years ago). And, can you recover and implement NC after a break up when you’ve spent the first week visiting CrazyTown? Long story short, we broke up, then the next day he said we should take a break from each other instead, then I said, No, we’re broke up because I didn’t want to be “strung along”. Now he won’t speak to me or answer my texts. Can we recover from this?

admin

January 26, 2015 at 3:51 pm

I think it does but I would say the history of the couple factors more than age.

Ashley

January 24, 2015 at 10:08 am

My bf and I dated for 2 years until recently. Things weren’t perfect but nobody is. We’ve taken breaks a few times to find ourselves and managed to make things work before. Last Sunday he decided it would be best if we went our desperate ways BC we are fighting too much and well he had cancer and said he just can’t do it anymore. That he had mixed feelings that sometimes I’m the best thing that has happened to him and sometimes I make him so upset. I was devastated. He said he would like to remain friends, talk and he would love to help me move into my new place. ( no we don’t live together) I have since then realized how selfish I have been the past two years of our relationship and I have deeply apologized to him. Monday we text back n forth all day. Some good some bad. Tuesday I asked if he was okay and he said yes and that was it and now he won’t respond at all. I’m not so focused on getting back together but he was like my best friend. A missing puzzle piece. He hasn’t blocked me, hasn’t moved or uprooted. Just won’t respond to my efforts. Is there any hope? What am I supposed to think at this point? Its not even been a week.

admin

January 26, 2015 at 3:17 pm

Yes, there is hope but you need to stop pressing so hard it’s kind of hurting your chances a bit.
Ashley

January 25, 2015 at 10:59 am

Update: I just wanted to say that I decided to tell him that I was going to give him some space and move on with my life until he was ready to talk and apparently that woke him up. All of a sudden 4 text messages came flying in and it took me forever to read them BC I was so nervous. But things are appt more peaceful and I have my sanity back. Were friends for now until we can figure out a better option 😉

Nikita

January 24, 2015 at 7:37 am

I don’t know if this is gonna work, but like he told me that he loves me even after breaking up, then every day he started chatting a bit less. Like that killed me. I started texting him coz I was worried, before I read this I realized that I should probably ignore him till he speaks first, but what if that is never. I hate being weak or ignored. I just wanna know what I did wrong man!!!!

admin

January 26, 2015 at 3:01 pm

Ok, think back to your relationship. What exactly was he feeling or did he say when things started going awry.

Jodie

January 23, 2015 at 2:41 am

Hello,
I have read and re-read over the last few weeks many of your blogs, and they are fascinating and for me, educational.
I do however find that my situation seems a little different to most of your commenters here, as in, there was no animosity whatsoever between me and my ex boyfriend.
Everything was going great, although we had only been dating casually for 3 months but were facebook and over-the-phone friends for about 3 years. All of a sudden one afternoon, after going to the cinema together, we got back to my place and he changed instantly!
We were booked to spend the night in the city together, but after arriving at my place, he took my suitcase out of his car, placed it on my bed and I started to cry, so he held me tenderly, kissed me on the head, and just left, he said he was “going home, cos I want to”, I got upset even more, and said “oh, is this a eff me and eff off situation now is it?” and he said it wasnt, and he promised it wasnt. It was later that afternoon i discovered he blocked me on Facebook, and on his phone. He cut me cold right out of his life, no explanation, nada.
Its been 3 weeks now, and on the first day, i tried texting/calling him with no reply and emailing the next day after, no reply.
I don’t understand what happened, why he changed from loving and kind (HE was talking about moving in with me in 12 months time if things were still good, HE was telling me he was falling for me, only the night before he left)
If he was just not interested anymore, then he should’ve said so, sure it would’ve cut me deep, but not as long and deep as just disappearing has done.
I have no clue if I will ever hear from him again.
Thanks for any advice you have on this.

admin

January 23, 2015 at 4:27 pm

Glad you find the fascinating!

I am thinking of coming out with a podcast soon too!

My money is on the fact that you will hear from him again.

Yasmin

January 22, 2015 at 11:16 am

Hello,
Can you please help me. Me and my ex were in relationship for 1 year and a half. I know him since 5 years. 2 years ago when he broke up with his ex, he came in a relationship with me 2 months after his break up. There has been ups and downs in our relationship throughout but we had quality time together. We used to meet everyday and he truly loved me. 1 year later I found out that he cheated on me and still use to talk to his ex. I forgave him. And he didnt speak to his ex for 2 months. I started speaking to his ex to know what exactly he did while he was in a relationship with me. They made out I had proof but I trusted my bf. One day he got back in contact with his ex and found out I spoke to her. He couldnt bare that fact and broken up with me. He blocked me for 3 days. But we are in contact with each other everyday. He has push and forth feelings. We made out, kissed and met each other everyday after the breakup. He told me to trust him and dont mention break up or relationship with him until he does. I cant bare this bcuz he talks to me less everyday and with his ex more. His doing everything I hate. What shall I do? He said I can never be honest. He made me feel like the worst person on earth. We broke up like 1 month and a half ago. Is there a chance he will come back? Ive never left me and forgave him for everything, even cheating. He said I can never leave him. Please help me. What shall I do?

admin

January 22, 2015 at 5:13 pm

He said you could never leave him?

Like, insinuating he owns you?

Aleshia

January 22, 2015 at 12:23 am

Me and my ex/baby daddy were together for almost 4 years when things went down hill. He kicked us out in September and we still hung out every weekend up until about 2-3 weeks before me and our daughter moved into our own place. He is bad with money and I found out he has a this girl who he claims in a just a fiend and 6 years older then him who helps him pay his bills, she takes him places and I know he has stayed there a couple times. It’s wierd because she is married… Any ways I would call myself a “text gnat” I do all that and he ignores me and it sucks cuz of our daughter she never sees him. I ask myself what did I do to push him away but when I look back he always picked to go out and drink with his “boys” and spend time with us on Sunday’s when he was hung over, not to be conceded but I was a great gf pretty close to a wife I did it all cool clean take care of our daughter u name it I did it. I moved to my new place December 1st and since then we have seen him maybe 5 times. Every time he is here he says how he still loves me and wants to be with him but he has to figure things out. Not sure what he means by that but when he comes over yes we have sex he’s the one I am attracted to and if I am going to have it I want it to be with him. He just came I over on Monday 1-19-15 and things were different at first. Of course I got all dolled up I was so excited to see him and I want to look stunning so he can see what he is misses lol. After sitting there for 30 min awkwardly I told him if this is how it’s going to be we have to meet in public cuz I can’t just be friends with him. We ended up cuddleing and then having sex I knew he had to leave so after he said ” I don’t want to go cuz I don’t want u to think I came here for sex” we hugged and ya I cried cuz of emotions and I said I feel like it won’t work out he held me tighter and said don’t worry its going to work out. He called me later cuz of course he wanted botty and I said no I’m driving there lol we talked for a little bit but we had to go go bed he then said I realy called cuz I wanted to say good night I was full of butterflies and I said I love u, I could tell he was smiling when he said it back we had sex the next day he called on lunch and said he was going to do something with his buddy after work when I tried to call he said he was working over time I didn’t believe him and became a “text gnat” about him lying. Now what? Can I get him back he ignores me and idk why I need professional advice my friends suck l

admin

January 22, 2015 at 4:53 pm

How big of a force is this girl who pays for his bills?

Sounds very fishy to me.

bre

January 21, 2015 at 10:47 pm

My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 weeks ago. Before we started dating, we were BESTFRIENDS (for about 5 years). Even though we were “bestfriends” we were still “together”. You know? Like, we have always had a “thing”. After we broke up it was really hard for the both of us to just let go.. so we started to have a thing again. That lasted for about 3 days. Now we are at the point where he is talking to another girl… About 5 days ago we got into a bad fight… I found out that he was talking to another girl and i confronted him about it. My exact words were “So you and taryn, huh? i dont know why you’re doing this… you’re just going to use her” and he FLIPPED out on me. I understand how that was wrong of me and i could of done things in a different way.. but i was just so upset! Anyways, now we wants NOTHING to do with me. He ignores my texts and doesn’t say anything when we see each other in school. Its almost been a week since we’ve talked! i can’t handle it! Hes my bestfriend! I love him to death. He’s the world to me. I dont understand how this is so easy for him.. he moved on so fast and now wants nothing to do with me. How do i know this is for real? Can a guy honestly just leave like that… after everything we’ve been through the past 5 years? i just dont understand how thats possible… i spend my days crying while hes talking to another girl and he doesnt even care how i feel… what do i do…

admin

January 22, 2015 at 4:57 pm

I think your number one task from here on out is to focus on yourself.

You need to focus on putting yourself back together and being strong not just for him but for your own sanity.

Rohan

January 21, 2015 at 10:06 pm

When he asks ‘what’ in response I don’t have anything to reply with as I’m only 14 and had only been dating him for about 3months. And even if I did NC he wouldn’t notice a difference as I was bombarding with texts anyway. Should I start to make the difference more noticeable?

admin

January 22, 2015 at 4:49 pm

What do you mean he won’t notice if you did NC?

Lucy

January 19, 2015 at 9:58 pm

Hi,
Me and my ex broke up around 3 months ago, and we were together for nearly 2 years. He broke up with me because he said he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t miss me as much as I missed him. Although we said we’d still be friends, as we’d become best friends and were considered part of each others families.
We we’re speaking for around 2 weeks until we bumped into each other in a bar after a night out, he came over and asked how I was and I just said ‘I’m fine thanks’ and turned away (I was quite drunk and upset).
After that we didn’t speak, until I text him to tell him I was going back to work to help out over Christmas (I’m a student and we used to work together before I left work for my studies).. He replied to this and we had a short conversation.
When I went back to work (I only worked around 5 shifts) he was really moody and didn’t seem to want me to come back, although after that first shift we started speaking a bit. Though sometimes he would speak and other times he wouldn’t.
I went to the staff Christmas party and we ended up having a drunken conversation about it all, me telling him that I know we’re over but I just want to know where I stand as it’s completely mixed signals.. He said that he didn’t text me as he thought I’d get the wrong idea, but I lied and said I didn’t love him anymore. After the conversation he said he’d text me tomorrow so we can talk about it sober. But at the end of the night we ended up sleeping together and I stayed over at his, we both said it didn’t mean anything (which I knew it didn’t mean we’d get back together or that he’d suddenly love me again because that is very unrealistic)
But a month has passed and he still hasn’t contacted me, I haven’t contacted him either and have deleted his number, snapchat etc, just so I don’t start over-analysing anything he writes.
Does this mean he’ll never contact me again, or is it because he thinks I’ll think us sleeping together means something? I’d really like to get back together, but I want to get over our past relationship first, though if he meet contacts me and moves on it’ll be very unlikely. Should I contact him or just keep waiting for him to contact me? I don’t want to seem needy.

admin

January 20, 2015 at 3:41 pm

His actions of sleeping with you do indicate he still has feelings. However, he is very messed up emotionally and probably doesn’t like handling them.

Monika

December 30, 2014 at 4:23 am

I was in a relation for 3 year and suddenly he stopped contacting me for 2 month
and now he is saying that we can’t go with this relation we can’t take it to next level
i love him alot and i dn’t want to lose him
and he is ignoring me
plz help me wat should i do to take him back in my life by giving him a good lesson.

admin

January 5, 2015 at 2:44 pm

Any reason for the reason he stopped contacting you?

Missy

December 16, 2014 at 4:49 am

Hi there,
I have a question for you. I have already moved on, but part of me still curious. My ex dumped me 2 years ago. We were best friends for 5 years before the relationship and we’re together for 1.5 years. I kept contacting him for 1.5 years after the break up and finally moved on, went out and have fun 6 months ago. Will he ever contacted me? He responded to me initially for like a year, but stopped since June. I kept contacting him bc I really didn’t want to lose our relationship esp we had 5 special years together. I lost a best friend, but I guess he was seeing me as desperate and stopped talking to be. I am just curious if he will ever contacted me again since I annoyed him for more than a year post break up.
Nahida ali

December 15, 2014 at 6:34 am

My boyfriend and I broke up 6 weeks ago. He had been dropping hints that he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore since August so I took the liberty in breaking up with because I felt it was unfair to stay with him especially if he wanted out. The overall message he sent me during the break up was that he needed space and we would get back together after. I started off by doing the no contact rule but my boyfriend kept texting me reminding me that we would never stop talking to me and that I’m very special to him. That lasted for two days until I started my desperate act of always texting him. We still met up frequently even after the break up and he would tell me he loves me but I knew he only wanted to see me cos he was horny. I realised that but because I still want him, I continued to see him when it was convenient for him. He kept sending me mixed signals, until about two weeks ago where he made it clear he doesn’t want to talk anymore. I’m truly heartbroken and I’m handling this in a very unhealthy way. I don’t want to give up on him but I know by constantly bothering him for the last 6 weeks has made him not want me. He moved away last week and although he promised to say bye in person, he never even told me and I found from his friends that he’d already gone. I also think he’s talking to other girls and I really pissed him off when I added the new girl he’s talking to on snap chat so he blocked me. He says I mean nothing to him and we aren’t meant to be but I don’t want to give up I want to try once more cos what we had was special and I think I just need to remind him. What do I do?
Kat

December 14, 2014 at 5:46 pm

Hey. My boyfriend told me he just wanted to be left alone for a while. It happened after I acted like a crazed psycho on my texts, emails, and voicemails. Anyway, we had been NC for 13 days. But yesterday, I got desperate and sent him a long email explaining why I acted that way on my emails. Still no response.

Do you think he’s done with me? He didn’t have any balls to tell that he was turned off when I got too clingy and anxious?

Should I just leave him alone? I know if he wants to contact me, he’ll find a way. I miss him a lot. But I don’t want to keep chasing him. So, should I just start the NC rule all over again? I’m scared being NC works for him… may be it’s just his dark way of breaking up with me. I think he was scared if he tells me it’s over because I might get crazy and too emotional.

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