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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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How A Secure Handles An Avoidant Pulling Away
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fyn
February 12, 2015 at 6:57 pm
Hi It’s me again. I’ve talked to you about me and my fling and that he drunk text me and stuff. I’ve implemented the NCR. He got a new girl now and she’s my friend, I found out that he wanted to be with me at first but because I kept posting negative things on facebook That’s what made him change his mind. I’m still going to continue the NCR. They got a history together so o think my chances are low to get him back but I’m still going to try. What do you think?
admin
February 16, 2015 at 10:24 pm
I think you are doing the right thing.
Dani
February 11, 2015 at 1:42 am
this is my first post here but I’ve been reading your articles for quite a while and they have been super helpful 🙂 im feeling kind of lost and at this point I feel like I need another opinion.so my bf and I were together for a year,we had a lot of ups and downs during that time mostly because of jealousy,however one way or the other we managed to make it work.last week I found out he talked to a girl from work (we work at the same place) and he had never mentioned her,which I felt it was suspicious.when I asked him about her he denied talking to her and kept lying to me for like 3 hours.he finally admitted it but after a huge fight we we both said a lot of mean things.i changed my whatsapp pic (for one where we were not together) and he went crazy at that point saying I didn’t care about the relationship at all,just for changing the pic.anyway,next day after the fight he was super mad at me and said some more mean things and broke things off.he blocked me on Facebook,whatsapp,and Instagram and ignored all my calls and texts from that day.i went NC with him for a week and today I decided I should give him a call and try to work things out,now that we’ve calmed each other down to show him I do care about him and us.not to my surprise he didn’t pick up the phone when I called him and he hasn’t called me nor texted me back.at this point I just feel like he has just deleted this whole year and me from his life as if I had never existed…I do think blocking me everywhere was childish and done out of pure rage.is it possible that he’s just over this already and that he will never show up again?he did tell me he was going to come that same day to pick up his stuff but he hasn’t shown up here nor made any type of contact in the past week.i just don’t get how you can cut someone off like that.any advice?what do you think I should do?what do you think is going on in his mind?oh by the way he’s 25 and I’m 23.thanks for the reply 😉
admin
February 11, 2015 at 2:07 pm
Glad to have you comment!
Question about his stuff…
Is any of his stuff essential?
Like, does he absolutely have to have it?
Dani
February 11, 2015 at 3:34 pm
well…not essential cause he can live without them haha but I have like the last 3 seasons of friends and other 2 seasons of his favorite show,which I was watching,and another movie.and he also gave me one of his sweaters which he said we wanted to have back as well.
Dani
February 11, 2015 at 7:44 pm
hey it’s me again 🙂 so….remember how I said I called him yesterday and he ignored me?he just sent me a text to ask me if I could take all his stuff and give them to his brother at school.he didn’t even mentioned my call nor anything else.thats all he said…
and last week I told him that he could come pick it up from my place cause I don’t have a car and don’t really want to be carrying around all his stuff through the city.yet he still asks for the same things a week later and doesn’t even mention my call.i haven’t replied and I won’t take his stuff to school.any thoughts?
Lee
February 10, 2015 at 8:43 am
My bf of 5 years broke it off after I found a message in his phone from a girl he works with asking for sneaky hugs. She had only been working with him for 2 weeks. When confronted he went mad and threw me out his house. He has now been seeing this other girl for 3 weeks. I have kept up NC since then but the last few days she has been posting pics on fb and Instagram of them both saying how much alike they are , how she is off to work with him – so basically she us staying over. He hasn’t liked or commented on her pics – is it worth me hanging on with NC or just walk Awsy with my dignity in place. Since we split his fb status has remained single . Advice please
Amy
February 10, 2015 at 1:41 am
Hi Chris,
My LDR boyfriend of 7 years hasn’t spoken to me for 2 weeks after a fight. He didn’t say anything about breaking up or taking a break, just disappeared. I apologized the day after but didn’t get any response.
This isn’t the 1st time he’s stopped talking to me, 2 years ago he ignored me after a fight and 3 months later contacted me again. After that we came up with ways to avoid fights, give each other time to cool etc and it seemed to be going well until 2 weeks ago.
After all this time and everything that we’ve been through I don’t understand why he’s ignoring me again. It was a pretty bad fight and we were both hurt but the least he can do is just tell me if it’s over. I haven’t tried to contact him after my apology but what if he comes back after a few months again?
He’s only completely ignored me twice in the 7 years we’ve been together. The 1st time I gave him the benefit of the doubt and treated it as a once off but it’s happened again. Do you think that once a guy has established a pattern of ignoring that he will do it again? (I suppose that’s if he even contacts me again?) Neither of us are perfect but this is something that I wouldn’t be able to deal with for the rest of my life, especially if we have a family in the future.
Thanks.
admin
February 10, 2015 at 3:54 pm
You should check out my long distance articles.
Amy
February 10, 2015 at 7:39 pm
Thanks Chris I’ve read your articles about LDR and silent treatments. Last time he ignored me for 3 months, by then I’d already given up on the relationship. Do you think a guy will change his habits if he’s done the “disappear after a fight without saying whether he wants to break up” routine a couple of times?
admin
February 11, 2015 at 1:50 pm
Be more specific…
You kind of lost me there.
Amy
February 11, 2015 at 8:02 pm
Sorry, what I’d like to know is if guys who ignore their girlfriends for a long time after fights will keep doing it for the rest of their lives even if they get married etc. It may be a bit difficult for you to answer, but many people contact you so I was hoping you can provide your perspective.
At the moment I still want to be together with him (even though he’s ignored me for over 2 weeks now) and I want to believe he won’t do it again but I’m afraid emotions are affecting my judgement. I have friends telling me to just move on and others saying he just needs to mature. Because he never told me he wants to break up I’m unsure about what to do.
Amy
February 10, 2015 at 1:47 am
Forgot to mention, we are both 28. He’s been temporarily overseas for a year, coming back in a few months.
sam
February 9, 2015 at 2:37 pm
Please help! I’ve been reading your articles for over a year I think but this is the first time I have been so desperate to write to seek advice. My bf and I were together for 6yrs. He proposed in Dec 2013 but in 2014,he got some new younger guy friends and seemed to become less interested in marriage etc. He would fight with me over them and put them above me, he would stand me up to hang out with them even overnight. He would plan weekly events with them and forget about me entirely. He chose to go to the beach with them and movies and all sorts of things I had to beg him to do with me, and he never stayed in contact with me. But if he took me to the beach, he would be taking pics and sending it to them and he was constantly on his phone. He grew more impatient with me last year, and would just curse at me and walk out on me anytime I calmly tried to express to him how I felt about everything. On January 14th I told him I couldn’t take it anymore after he stood me up again for them. I went NC. He msged every other day to basically blame me or be mean but I never responded. He msged up until day before yesterday to say he was depressed about his birthday and that I didn’t care. Yesterday was his birthday and for the first time in almost 1 month I texted him happy birthday and he didn’t reply at all. I’m so lost PLEASE ADVISE
sam
February 9, 2015 at 2:50 pm
Btw I forgot to mention he’s 34 and I’m 27
Shreja
February 8, 2015 at 9:47 am
Hello,
i really need help,what happened is he was my friend we met through facebook by common friend and he was from same college from where i was studying senior but we become good friends after he passed college out he shifted to another city for job,
but after sometime he asked me out he had disturbed past his past girlfriends left him for no reason when he asked me out he told that he dont want to rush into anything and was afraid to commit to me he said he liked me much i mentioned him that i wanted someone to get into serious and not into flings he said he respect that.
Then things were going well though it was distance relationship we met he kissed me and stuff i am virgin he didnt did anything more as i had disturbed previous relationship with man who was interested in getting into physical relation only maybe because of that reason he was afraid to do anything more he told me several times he dont want to hurt me and i am way to sweet person so he dont want to hurt me but with this man i wanted to take it further he kissed me and stuff told me that he loves me
but after few time he told hes just not sure about his future and wants to be alone and not bounded by anyone its not that i am clinger i never disturb him. he never initiated sexting or anything like that i was not able to judge him i respect him alot and i love him alot i just want him back
after he said he wants to be alone i textd him so manyy texts he got irritated as he didnt wanted to be with me i just dont know what happend i asked if anything wrong with me or what but he said everything is perfect with me he need to be alone and dont want to be in relationship after that i tried to be friends with him he always answered with short texts man of few words ,that tempted me to talk more that whats wrong.
afer we decided to be friends but that i couldnt do i end up saying him that i love him much and stuff ,i just love him so much not from past weeks i am having no contact with him he is not texting me no calls nothing i am deep down waiting for his texts or calls
want to meet him i have told this to him several times but he said he is busy maybe he is actually busy but he promised he will meet me but after that i stopped contacts with him nor he is contacting me i want him to contact me its weeks now
i wonder if he is thinking about me or not.
should i continue to not contacting him or should i text him ?
please let me know i am so in pain i just love him so much i have never loved any man before like this i want him back in my life.
admin
February 9, 2015 at 4:26 pm
Continue not contacting him!
Shreja
February 10, 2015 at 4:32 pm
i will continue to do so,he havnt contacted me yet ,what happened after this NCR will let you know.
Take care,
Thank you.
Shreja
February 18, 2015 at 8:04 am
Hello ,
I tried to not to contact him around 20 days then i breaked NC texted him but not much texts he conversed formally,then as i said he doesnt stays in same city where i stay he said he will call me when he is here to meet me.
after that when i texted he didnt replied back so i didnt contacted him. He told for this upcoming weekends.
but didnt contacted me anything after that so i am waiting for weekends should i not contact him and wait for his call ??? And if he doesnt then should i call him as he told he will be here.
after breakup we havnt met and i need to meet him once atleast.
please reply i love him much and want him in my life.
Thanks.
Shreja
February 8, 2015 at 11:18 am
i tried to not to contact him before also but i got weak and contacted him then in talks i asked him in bit lighter way that he didnt missed me even ? to that he answered that he was helping me to get over so that i can forget him but i am not able to forget him after that we tried to be friends and as i have mentioned that i cannot be friends. so now i have not contacted him for week and few more days i wonder if he will ever contact me back.
have read your posts of NCR now i am trying to get bit firm but i miss him alot and love him much.
Thank you for posts.
Awaiting your response.
kanary
February 7, 2015 at 1:06 am
My boyfriend and i have been dating for 11 years, he’s 28 and I’m 25. He broke up with me about a week ago. He is currently deployed and won’t be back until august. We argued a lot because he cheated and lied to me before the deployment. He left on bad terms and we argued almost every other day while he is deployed. (this wasn’t a regular iraq deployment, he is on a small island where he gets to go to the beach, gym, movie theater, concerts, festivals). Prior to the breakup, he told me we were going to work things out together and to have a fresh start when he come back but we continued to argue. He was also stressed out at work and I’m sure he couldn’t focus on his job because of me. Anyways, he broke up with me and told me he was unhappy and wasn’t in love and this relationship isn’t something he wants. He told me we were not good for each other and that we were toxic for one another. I told him i won’t be contacting him anymore because i was going to give him his space (yes, i just read that i shouldn’t have done that) so now what? i love him and i miss him. He was gone for 3 months before the breakup and i was waiting for his arrival to do things and now I’m just heart broken. I want things to work out. please help.
admin
February 9, 2015 at 3:56 pm
You know, I think I should write something for army relationships and dealing with them…
I seem to get a lot of them.
kanary
February 12, 2015 at 7:08 am
i would appreciate that I’m just having a hard time coping right now. Maybe the distance is making it harder on me
kanary
February 7, 2015 at 8:26 am
i forgot to add that he won’t be back from his deployment until august
Sally
February 6, 2015 at 10:37 am
Hi I’m looking for some advice. My boyfriend of almost 2 years just broke up with me 7 days ago. The breakup did not occur over an incident like a fight or small issue. It appears to stem from a commitment problems on his end. He even told me that he loved me as he drove me home.
Any who during the breakup he also told me he would call in a couple of days because I have some of his stuff and he’s got some of mine. I told him I would not be contacting him at all out of respect. Its been 5 days and still no call? If he really wanted to get this over with why has he not called yet? Its not fair to me I want the door shut on this relationship or some sign that he wants me back? Why would he take so long to get back to me?
I should also mention I handled myself quite well I did not yell or freak out in any capacity. So he should not be scared in theory.
admin
February 6, 2015 at 2:35 pm
I wish you hadnt of told him you weren’t going to contact him.
Sally
February 6, 2015 at 3:40 pm
Drat is that going to make a difference? At this point I’m wondering why someone who so suddenly broke up with me would want to drag this out. You would think he would want his stuff and be done with me
Amy
February 6, 2015 at 2:33 am
HI,
Really would like some advice. MY bf for over a year broke up with me over 2 weeks ago now. When we broke up I went back to him pleading and begging and he was really angry with me at the time. The reason we broke up was because I asked him whether he sees a future with me and literally asked him if you don’t why are we wasting time with each other. He thought about it and decided that he didn’t. He said before I asked him he never thought about it and he was just happy being with me, wasn’t that enough? When I went back begging, he said that he now sees an end to it before he didn’t. How can something change in 2 days? He also said it wasn’t just about the future anymore, it was as if we have become really good friends.
His birthday was 5 days later and I sent him a message ‘Happy Birthday’ and he wrote back a long message saying how much fun we had together, all the things we did, how he was sorry about what happened. He can’t forget how sad I was that night and wants me to go out and enjoy life. He wishes that we can be friends a few months later if I want then signed off goodbye and take care.
Do you think it is really over? I haven’t contacted him since and don’t intend to until a month later to ask for my stuff back. I just can’t understand how things changed so fast in the course of a few days. He hasn’t contacted me since then either. Is this a bad sign?
Thanks!
admin
February 6, 2015 at 2:24 pm
May I ask your boyfriends age?
Amy
February 6, 2015 at 3:07 pm
He just turned 29. Either hes not ready to settle or maybe hes just not ready to settle with me? Thanks for your help
Amy
February 6, 2015 at 3:59 pm
Should I bother trying? Or just let it go…. 🙁
Janice
February 5, 2015 at 3:11 am
I’m in desperate need of your advice. I was in a relationship with a 30 year old man me being 23 for 2 months. We hit things off very quickly with him asking me to be his girlfriend just two month of us talking. He met my parents and everything was going great until I let my emotions get to the best of me. We got into a heated argument and I go so mad that I initiated breaking up ( I didn’t mean it at all ) I said it to simply get a reaction from him. Well it simply doesn’t end there after I said that we decided to actually talk through our issues one of them being Facebook and meeting his daddy was coming into town. As far as the dad I felt there were no initial plans for us to meet more so assuming since It wasn’t a topic he brought to me. As far as Facebook we weren’t friends and when I asked him why he simply said because he didn’t see where it mattered. Despite the fact of his feeling he still decided to request me which i didn’t wanna take because I thought he was merely doing that to make me happy. So we continued to argue via text and I broke up with him again ( Never meaning it) he then replied with ” I no longer desire to be in a relationship with you”. A couple of hours passed and I texted him stating I wanted to meet to discuss and talk about the situation like mature adults he replied with an ultimatum “We can meet when I get off from work or He could contact me after running his errands for the day” I replied with contact me when he finished his errands….and I haven’t received anymore contact. I called later that night got no answer and texted 4 times apologizing and stating how much I wanted us to get back together. Its going on day 3 where I’ve used the NC rule…I miss him and want him to know I analyzed the situations and how stupid they were. I really want us back. I would really appreciate your feedback.
Thank you so much.
admin
February 5, 2015 at 3:39 pm
Day three of NC..
Still super early and I think NC can really have a positive impact on you.
Janice
February 5, 2015 at 5:32 pm
Thank you very much, I hope and pray the outcome is positive…
Janice
February 5, 2015 at 3:13 am
I meant to say two weeks** correction in the second sentence.
dawn
February 3, 2015 at 9:03 pm
My finance broke up with me 4 weeks ago pretty abruptly after I thought we were working on our relationship and doing well. I found out he was seeing another woman immediately. Then I found out she has a horrible reputation and lives 3 1/2 miles away. I tried to be positive and friendly but I was on an emotional rollercoaster and ended up sending him numerous emails chewing him out big time. If I was him, I would hate me. So I haven’t had any correspondence with him in a week, however, he owes me alot of money and it’s due. I sent him an email this morning basically saying that the money is due and please pay it asap. I haven’t heard anything. I think I completely ruined my chances of talking to him or even getting my money back from him because of my wacked out horrible emails to him. Let’s just say, I was literally having a nervous breakdown and wasn’t thinking at all. I DID send him a handwritten letter a few days later and mailed it and told him how sorry I was about my emails and that they were unacceptable and I was basically lashing out because I wanted to hurt him as bad as I was hurting. So, the 30 day rule should go into effect immediately on my part. What about the money he owes me and it’s due again on the 15th? How does the NC rule apply when there are ongoing financial things that are happening?
admin
February 4, 2015 at 2:10 pm
You are entitled to work out the financial things before NC!
Thats my recommendation.
dawn
February 3, 2015 at 9:04 pm
she lives 3 1/2 HOURS away not miles
admin
February 4, 2015 at 1:46 pm
That is a long time!
That bodes well.
dawn
February 6, 2015 at 6:35 pm
What do you mean that that’s a long time and it bodes well?
Sarah
February 3, 2015 at 9:50 am
Hi,
I need your advice desperately. I broke up with the guy I had been dating for over 4 months. He seemed he was very serious about me. He texted me day and night, said Good morning , Good night and asked my day. He initiated to make plans. I had never had a boyfriend before and he asked me why .Then I told him i didnt want to be attached. Honestly I regretted that later. He asked me to be his girlfriend after one month dating by saying that he wanted to get married soon. He asked me to think it over about it. He was my first man whom I was very close and attached. We hung out, made fun, tried new things but no sex and passionate kisses apart from peek kisses on lips from him cos he knew I am a virgin and I even have not kissed anyone passionately. I am an Asian in early 30s and He is a Caucasian ,35 year old. We seemed very into each other. We tried to meet twice or three times a week. he was really nice to me . Everybody said we seem like a couple (hugs, cuddles and sweet things…) even in public.
He talked about having kids and asked me about it. I said I dont want kid now unless I was with the man I love most. sometimes he asked me about marriage and I said I prefer being stay single until i find my right man regardless of my age cos he said I am old enough to get married. that time I just focus on happiness, not want to go for relationship or marriage so soon. He visited my country with his friends and he texted me day and night and sent some pics. I was really happy that time. but he never said he missed me. After his trip, we met for dinner and I said him first I missed him while he hugged me so tight and long and said he missed me everyday. After that time, he just texted me, did not ask me out for almost 10 days .but sitll texting and i just mirror him and take it easy. One saturday , he said he wanted to see me tomr. I had a class and asked him to pick me up there . He agreed and I remembered it was our 100th day dating. He took me to restaurant and we made dinner and i let him know it was 100th we had been seeing. And he looked like he did not want to lose me and hugged me so tight the whole time. He talked a lot about having kid after marriage that time .I was about to go back my country after exam to see my parents that time. When he said he is going back to his country for x’mas and My face was like so small and he said öh no, come with me to his country.”I just smiled and felt so happy. After that, we still met during weekend and he helped me to study for exam in cafe shop. He was very caring and kind man though. we went for a movie and made dinner and he told me that he liked me so much. we had not had any title until that time. Two days later on my birthday, he made me surprised by taking to the concert i want to see deadly and said Happy birthday in my language. I made him surprised by writing down on the card that i want to be his girlfriend what he asked me to think over. He did not seem too happy. just normal and he hugged me and said good to hear that I was not taking too long to think it over. I kissed him on that day and he said just thank you. After we did not see for one week and we met at coffee shop again. he looked unhappy and i asked him why. He said very tired. he did not treat me like his girlfriend and when i asked to go for shopping to buy things before going back to my country. he said guys are not good at shopping. he was not like that before. he used to go with me for shopping almost the whole day.He really let me down and i asked him whether he would send me to airport or not. he just asked the time of the flight. After that We did not see and i just gave him space and never nag or text him a lot , just mirror him. But no more flirt texts from him later. just causal texts. on the day i left for my country, he texted me good morning and asked what i was doing. It really made me get angry and i ironically responded and he replied like a jerk that i am in city area , if you were there we can meet. then we can do when you get back here. He did not ask me about my trip, and I really got angry and replied him “ÿou are so sweet. I wanna see you too. where i gonna come to meet you for a coffee”. Then he replied he was going home ( he stays near by my place) and we could do around there. i didnt respond him and expected him to call me but no calls instead , he texted he was going home, though I were having a nap ,he would do the same. going to a barbecue party later.” My angry was on the top and cried so loud. and i did not respond him. he could see i had seen his texts cos it is whatapps. i didnot use my mobile during my stay with parents and when i was back , i was really sad he texted me just two : one was have a good flight and the other was “Hello?”. It really made me sick. i did not respond his texts for two days and i missed him so much. then I initiated text him that have you missed me ? i miss you. He replied “Hey, “welcome back how was your trip? i just replied ok. so sad. 🙁 he did not say he missed me. i got a hint. but he still texting me gmoring, gnight, sometimes off to dinner with colleagues.., I responded sometimes. I could not stand anymore. when he was still texting but never asked me out to meet after we did not see for 3 weeks. then one saturday night, i initiated him to go out for dinner before he flew back to hi country. he replied my text at late night. and said “Maybe we can do a lunch or coffee instead , gnight for now” morning i replied him Ök, 4.30 pm for coffee”. Then he replied me “That is good for me and i have to tell you something”. Honestly i feel panic because i got a sense that he has been seeing and living together with the other woman. Then i insisted him to tell me that sth by text or call. and said if it is going to be a bad news, we better dont meet. then he replied long text and said ‘” you are a nice….lady and a good person…I have been recently talking with my ex and she was my real first love and we want to give another shoot and I want to try with her again. I did enjoy spending time with you…… “ it made me really pain but I replied him “thanks for telling me honestly and wish all the best”. he replied me “thanks all the best to you too”. we ended up. i blocked his number first and now i unblock it. i don’t text him. But it makes me really hurt. It was my first time. I dont want to get hurt anymore. I can’t believe that he changed suddenly. He never talked about his ex during those 4 months dating. I got hear broken. Sometimes I am hoping that he would come back to me. i know that is crazy. 🙁 I didnot try to contact him. he even did not say “Happy new year”or “X ‘mas ” wishes. I did go for over 1 months No contact with him until i saw him accidentally (He did not see me) . I missed him deadly .(P.S we met from online dating site) and i checked that dating site again where i hided my profile after i decided to be his gf. but i still could check he is online or not without knowing him.Sadly he is active online almost everyday. then last week, i initiated texting him and kept conversation simple like telling him i am excited about my coming exam result out. he took a few hrs to rely my texts and after a few topics we stopped conversation again and no text from him at all.Last sunday i bumped into him on the train and i said hello to him. we talked about our jobs. and sometimes he was making jokes. And he sounded like still caring me. i told him after gym, i m gonna watch movie …. it is a thriller movie like the movie last time we watched together.asked him he remembered the movie name or not. he straightly said the movie name correctly.And late he asked me about my exam result and then i said next sunday it is coming out and if the result is what we expected , then we should celebrate .he said “OK”. He alighted the one station before me and he said “dont work out so hard” coz i was on the way to the gym .and he used to tell that when we were together becoz he knew my knee got hurt long ago and cant work out v hard. He did not text me at all after accidentally bumped into each other . then next day (Yesterday) , i initiated texting him again and saying “Hey, the movie “the boy next day is really good like Gone Girl , I bet you would like it too. should go and watch it. ;)” Then he read my msg in whatasspp and took long hours to reply me just saying ” I liked that movie. thanks for the tip 🙂 ” and I replied later “that is my pleasure 🙂 ”
And he never texts me anymore. Know i realized that i should not hold on it. I must move on. i removed him from my contact list and Dose he lose interested in me at all, right? I do not have any hope he is coming back to me? Sorry for long story. Did I do anything wrong? Did I get used when he was lonely? I liked him a lot. I really appreciate for your advice in advance .
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:41 pm
That gone girl movie scared me…
LOL
Have you tried reaching out again?
sarah
February 4, 2015 at 12:54 am
thanks for your reply.
No, not yet tried reaching out again.
should i try? still any chance ?
admin
February 4, 2015 at 2:16 pm
Yes, you should try reaching out.
sarah
February 6, 2015 at 1:01 am
i have no idea how i could try reaching out again.
I am so scared that he would reject. 🙁
Mary
February 3, 2015 at 5:23 am
Hello I broke with my fiance of 4 years a year ago and were both in rebound relationships. I have tried to reach out to him but my feelings were crushed. A few months later he tried to talk to me. I just said hey and didn’t really entertainmen . What he had to say because I was still hurt from the last time I reached out. So after that he shows up at my house and on one occasion he tried to surprise me at my graduation. Presently I feel bad about how I treated him at the baby shower and I’ve been waiting for him to reach out to me again, but I feel as if he’s given up. What are your thoughts.
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:30 pm
Why did you break up with him?
Ella
February 3, 2015 at 3:11 am
Hi Chris, is the no contact rule suitable for men of all ages? I mean even teenagers?I was just wondering ,,
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:27 pm
Yep!
arleen
February 1, 2015 at 11:42 pm
Hi i broke up whith my boyfrend a month ago i send him 2 times letters and he haven’t respond i regret breaking up with him for
a stuped reson what can do
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:33 pm
DO NOT SEND LETTERS….
Tee
February 18, 2015 at 12:13 pm
If you made the mistake of sending a letter… thinking it was a good idea at the time to get your thoughts out there… does that mean its all ruined? no hope at all?
Tammy
February 1, 2015 at 3:06 pm
My ex and I broke up about 4-5 months ago. I’m not sure what I did wrong and felt completely blind sided by it. We had been together for 2 years and he said things like, “I don’t really know you.” “I want to enjoy myself this year.” Etc. He initially asked for a break, but the break sounded like he wanted to sleep around with random women then come back to me when he was done and I mentioned if that was the case we should just break up so, we did? I put a question mark because that conversation was the last we had even though he said he would rather talk about it in person. Fast forward to now: When we see eachother around town I usually say hi, sometimes he speaks sometimes he doesn’t. Usually when he speaks it’s if I’m around a bunch of my friends. Most of the time he tries to avoid eye contact. Often, when we end up in the same bar if he’s closer to the door he’ll leave. It annoyed me in the beginning, but now it’s a little funny. I’m not really sure why I want him to talk to me since I don’t think I want him back. Something inside me just really wants to be able to talk to him again. Anyway I’m just wondering if I’m in a case where he wants nothing to do with me or if there is hope there.
Also, I should add since the break up my group of friends has changed. In that group I have new male best friend who is gay and we’ve become really close. A few people thought we were dating and I noticed him staring at the two of us dancing at the bar once. Could this be a problem?
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:14 pm
What your new gay friend?
Tammy
February 2, 2015 at 3:47 pm
Yes, could that be a problem or causing him to not want to talk to me?
Tammy
February 2, 2015 at 3:49 pm
Clarification: I noticed my ex staring at my best friend and me dancing at the bar.
Stephanie
February 1, 2015 at 9:30 am
My ex blocked me on facebook. We were together a year and a half and broke up in September. We ran into each other at a bar. I was with a guy friend and he was with two girls I never met. They were from his gym and he never told me about them (which was something that led up to our breakup, hidden friendships). Anyway,I tried to talk to him and he wanted nothing to do with me. He took me off facebook at the end of October and then I found out in December that he accused me of vandalizing his car. I was really hurt because I loved him so much and would never do something like that! All of his friends and family dropped me from social media around that time too. Anyway, I haven’t tried reaching out at all and I saw yesterday that he blocked me on facebook. It’s so extreme! Why? I didn’t even do anything to him! I have forgiven him and I do want to start over because I miss the good. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
admin
February 2, 2015 at 2:08 pm
Wait… he was with TWO girls and got mad at you just for being with a guy friend???
Ann
January 31, 2015 at 12:03 am
I haven’t contacted my ex in seven years. Yes I know that’s been very long. Anyway we parted on terms up to this date I do not understand since he just stopped calling me and stopped taking my calls. After a few months I finally gave up and moved on. I heard he was married and his wife found out about us. But I never confirmed that.
I am now married but after all these years I still wonder what went wrong. Sometimes I still feel a pain in my heart when I think about him, which is rarely by the way. I even think about Texting him just to ask ‘why? Hence I found this site. I think our breakup was a major blow to my selfconfidence that’s why its still on my mind. Do you think I should text him? I saw his name as suggested friend on my Facebook page a few weeks ago and I took a peek at his profile. That’s why he came into thought again.
admin
January 31, 2015 at 3:55 pm
Hmm….
Well, first things first. If you are married is there something going wrong with that relationship?
April
January 30, 2015 at 4:22 pm
Hi, my ex boyfriend has been under extreme stress over the last few months which was causing issues in our relationship of 2 years where he started to pull away and I wanted him to spend more time with me, although we didn’t fight I could feel the tension. Eventually he said he can’t commit to anything and I deserve someone who can commit to me, he wanted to stay friends and said he doesn’t know what the future holds but for now wanted to be on his own.
I was upset by this but stayed cool and said I will respect his decision as I can’t make him want to be with me.
A few days later he contacted me just to say Hi at which I replied, a week later he asked if I had seen a mutual male friend when I replied YES he went quite on me, a week later he contacted me again to say hi and again ask if I have seen this friend and quickly said it not his business, this time I replied NO so our conversation continued nicely even him giving me compliments. A week later he contacted me yet again and asked if we could catch up in person, I agreed however I did give into his advances and we ended up hooking up.
When we parted he hugged me and said he would talk to me later, I said ok take care of yourself.
3 days later no contact from him, so I sent a quick message to ask his help with something at which he ignored, the following day I sent him another message to let him know that I had sorted it out and no longer needed his help, he replied straight away” ok I am glad you are ok.. I am sorry”
I went to reply but not ask why he was sorry as I assumed it was because he had not replied to my previous message, instead I replied its ok.
He has not replied to that message which is now over a week, I have not attempted to contact him again as I feel if he wants to talk to me he will contact me.
Why has he suddenly started to ignore me? I do want my ex back how do I save this relationship?
I should mention that when we caught up in person his sister was there too and was very encouraging that we were together talking etc
Please help me understand what is going on
admin
January 31, 2015 at 3:25 pm
There could be so many reasons…
Specifically, it seems like you didn’t do enough to captivate him or command his attention.
April
February 4, 2015 at 6:33 am
My Ex is still complimenting me saying I look stunning etc or he will still encourage and support me to reach my goals, he will still open up to me about the stresses he is still under and then half way through a conversation he suddenly ignores me not replying anymore, however I never follow up on why he didn’t respond etc.
I do want my ex back is it likely we will get back together or is he trying to tell me to move on?
Lila
January 30, 2015 at 2:47 am
I really like your blunt approach about No Contact. Its extremely important that we better ourselves in these situations before trying to resume again.
My boyfriend and I were friends for two years and he was actively pursuing me the entire time. I finally relented. He was one of my best friends and he grew on me. Im now in love with him.
We had been dating a year as of last week before I broke up with him. yes. Im the one who broke up with him. I did it because his emotions have recently been volatile. Although we are both in early 30s, he lacks the relationship experience that I have. This was getting very real for him yet he had so much fear.
I decided to pull the plug because i didnt want to endure anymore waves yet be tied to him until he finally ‘figures it out’. he loves me very much and was extremely upset that I ended things yet said he could understand why I would feel this way. ever since, according to friends he claims that it still hasnt hit him yet and is kind of isolating. We were soo close.
He tried to make contact to let me know he missed me and wanted me to come out with him but didnt know how to ask me. I didnt respond because I didnt feel it was sufficient following a break up especially with being that communication was in fact our recent problem. and I refuse to have minimal contact leaving me feeling like we are in limbo again.
It has only been 5 days since I have not spoken to him but during this time, I have gone to the gym, reverted back to my healthy habits, scheduled therapy and have started reading positive literature that can help me change my negative tendencies while in our relationship as well.
I love him and know he loves me but felt I was taken for granted. I have chosen No Contact and have not spoken to him since the break up for peace of mind and to get back to myself but ultimately I would love for us to reunite. i hope this will be a case where No Contact helps rather than destroys.
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:41 pm
How long have you been in NC for?
Lila
January 31, 2015 at 7:38 am
1 week now