Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

Kaydee

March 27, 2015 at 8:03 pm

My boyfriend and I dated for awhile and had the most romantic, book like, movie should be made relationship. We really enjoyed our time together and are probably soul mates scorned forever…. and yes, there were some trust issues majorly on his part (I believe due to his exes) but yes, I had guy friends who I ended up telling I wouldn’t spend time with or talk to anymore to be completely dedicated to boyfriend and show him he truly has nothing to worry about. Turns out he was cheating which I didn’t find out until I ended up pregnant towards the end of the relationship and he manipulated me emotionally into getting rid of the baby(way against my morals, will regret that every day). Anyways, after I lost the baby which I did out of my blinding love for him against my morals, he split, blocked me on all social media and phone. Like literally I am still in the process of losing the thing and he says hes going for a drive and never comes back. He blocked me on all social media sites, blocked my phone everything. I did go a little heart broken crazy there like you mentioned and now I just feel really stupid re-iterating all of this that I even let it get that far. He had said things like he was there for me and we had even talked about marriage etc. But nothing. Just silence and it caused a lot of pain on my part. Least to say I did text him, I was heartbroken, and felt so disappointed in myself that I was broken too. I was looking for the support from the love of my life, where was he? Did he need space too? No answers. Just silence. He blocked me but now he contacts me here and there saying he loves me and how sorry he is and how much he misses me and wants to get back with me (hes in training for a couple more weeks states away).. we haven’t been together for almost a year and I still think about him almost everyday and what I did. But it makes me so angry and confused when he contacts me because obviously I loved him enough to go against my own morals and I think I will always kind of love him.. but I love the person I used to know, the innocent him…and I don’t know how to tell him to leave me alone because he texts me and sends me messages saying his unrequited love and then goes back to blocking me. What do I do with this kind of guy? Its hard to completely move on from the situation when someone like that keeps tapping in on you from time to time and then disconnecting a way to contact back. He even called me a couple weeks ago. #ugh. help
Gabi

March 27, 2015 at 4:16 pm

rebound girl?? is he over me PLEASE HELP.My ex and i broke up a 2weeks agotogether 5 months?
4Days after we split he got with some girl shes eveything he didnt want me to be they have been dating maybe a little over a weekand he’s already had sex with her same week they started dating then he took her on a date the day before i texted him, then other day he put on fb”see i would do a Wcw but she doesnt get one today lol but you understand right??” Ik the last part was about me because in the beginning of our relationship he constantly posted about me then he stopped doing it as much and i started nagging saying he didnt care which led to our break up which we were always talking about a future he was going to move in with me later this year but after we broke up he moved baxk in with his mom who is 20 mins away he doesn’t post about her as much as he did about me, he has me blocked on fb so why post about me. Then his work called me today and he thought he was fired well i called him expecting him not to awsner but he did! Why did he awsner because like 6 days ago he told me to lose him number he was kinda crappy on the phone Well i texted him asking if he was keeping the job and he told me but he kept the convo going? i said at 1 point well im glad things are going good and he said yeah so far then asked about my trip And then i told him he said thats good so i didnt text back but later that night he miggt have been sleeping Idk i sent him and 2of my friends a picture of the cars i want and asked which one and he hasnt replied why reply earlier and not then.
kat

March 26, 2015 at 12:54 pm

Hey there,
I was seeing my tutor for three months and our relationship was very secret because of the issues of him not being able to date his students.. We never went on dates but he told me he has feelings for me and that we would be together after I finished my course. But we did hook up and text all the time.
I found out that he was seeing his ex gf.. who is also an ex student while he was with me. We weren’t exclusive but he told me he wasn’t seeing anyone else except me. I broke it off with him over a month ago. He barely has been in contact with me and he’s been mostly worried that I would report him and make him lose his job. I told him that I wanted to give it another shot after my course is finished which is in couple of weeks and I’ve asked him what he wanted to do. Whether he wants to end it or get back together but he has not answered me. This was almost two weeks ago. I have not texted him since and only time I’ve seen or talkes to him is during course which is every day of the week. I only talk to him about course related stuff. He ignores me most times.. but tries to help me out with my course work here and there but I feel like he is only doing it so I won’t report him.
In the beginning I might have been angry and resentful and a tad cligy and attacked him with many texts and one letter but I have made no contact for two weeks now. and I have not heard anything from him. He has never explained to me or given me any reasons as to why he did those things or what he wants to do. Is he just being a coward and ending it without telling me or is he just confused and trying to sort through his feelings? I feel as though he is just ignoring me and hoping I would just leave him alone but I do have feelings for him and really want to give it another shot. What should I do to win him back?? help!! 🙁

admin

March 31, 2015 at 8:38 pm

When you have had contact with him what have the conversations are like?

ashley

March 25, 2015 at 3:12 am

Me and my ex were together for 8 months . We had our problems and arguments just like any other relationship 5 1/2 months ago he broke up with md I begged him to stay and told him i would do whatever it took to get him back but he told me he didnt love me anymore so as much As I loved him I decided to let him go .just a week ago for the second time in months we texted just a short conversation and then no response . Then last night out of the blue he texts me saying hey . I reaponded back and no response . Then i sent him a long message and now its the next day and no response . Why did he hurt me again ?

admin

March 31, 2015 at 7:52 pm

Well, what was in the long message you sent.

Clarra

March 23, 2015 at 10:41 am

I have a bf who has introvert character. We lived for 2 yrs under 1 roof. We were separated for a month already because we went back to our own home country. Due to distance apart and religion differences, he ended our relationship with no fighting happens. Right now, i stop sending him email for 3 weeks already coz i get mad at him for not fighting for our love. Is 30 day NC rule applicable to this case?

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:48 pm

That is really crazy but I plan on writing an article about introverts vs. extroverts.

Chan

March 22, 2015 at 10:18 pm

Me and my boyfriend dated for almost four years. He broke up with me a month and a half ago out of nowhere. He acted the complete same as he always did and told me he loved me up until that very day. I was heartbroken. I did the NC for 30 days and then decided to use one of the texting strategies you have given, but he never answered. I then waited about two weeks to send him another friendly text and he still hasn’t answered. There has never been any cheating and no animosity toward one another so I’m confused. I don’t know why he’s not answering when I have only sent him two genuinely friendly texts and nothing else. I’ve never felt so comfortable and happy with someone in my life so I really would like some help on what I could do.

admin

March 24, 2015 at 8:14 pm

Which texting strategy did you use exactly?

Can you give me the texts you used exactly?

Kat

March 22, 2015 at 12:35 pm

I acted desperate and needy for a whole month after a breakup. The no contact rule drove me batty (to me at the time) it states you have no value. I was very intimate with this man for two years. Two weeks after the break up he said I texted way to much and that he is going to block me. He said he was very sorry to hurt me and that this will be his last response, take care. After that I text and emailed for another three weeks. I am not crazy but when your in love you think with the heart not with the mind. I didn’t want to accept it ended. I hardly ever called (maybe twice) didn’t try to visit or find him but I did text massively. Now i just want to say I’m sorry. Not as a ploy to get him back but a genuine I’m sorry for becoming a emotional wreck after the break up. I was 110% in love. Now I think back and feel embarrassed. Why do we chase people who do not want us back? Never again will I act this crazy, learned a lesson. Life is too short for bitterness and I don’t blame him for blocking me. Now it’s been 2 months and I have more clarity. Why was I being so desperate? I have no desire to be with someone who doesn’t want the same We are all worth more than that.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:53 pm

The NC drove you batty?
Kat

March 24, 2015 at 7:24 pm

Yes not hearing from him dove me batty. I don’t think I would ever forgive him for that. It’s a mind game I don’t care to play.

Josey

March 21, 2015 at 6:47 pm

I am in need of some help, obviously. My boyfriend and I were together for 2 1/2 years and were very close. Around the 1 1/2 year mark we went through some changes and began getting in meaning bless fights. Towards the end of this relationship, it seemed that we were beating the dead horse regularly discussing whether or not we should stay together. About a week prior to the break up he was crying!!! Had told me that he knew he would be making a mistake losing me, someone that would always be faithful, and was the best thing to ever happen to him.. Texting me the next morning letting me know that he knew I was the one. A week later we got in an argument, he didn’t text me he loved me when saying goodnight, he didn’t text me good morning or talk to me the whole day.. So finally I texted him and he told me he didn’t think he could do us anymore and he had been thinking about it for months.. Of course, I did all the wrong things including begging and pleading which didn’t work.. Duh and then I found out he had tried to contact his ex…… The next day I texted him and apologized for my wrong doings in the relationship and that really didn’t get me anywhere.. We went about a week without talking and then we talked again and things seemed to be okay until I brought up us and if he missed me and he retreated and just wanted to get off the phone. I’m in a place where I feel if I don’t try I’ll lose him and if I try too hard the same but I can’t shake the feeling that we are meant to be, I feel it in my faith and heart but everyone else seems to think I should just not talk to him for awhile and leave him alone. Help please!

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:26 pm

I agree with everyone else at this point.

Some distance can be a good thing.

Curly

March 21, 2015 at 5:58 pm

Hi Chris, my ex broke up with me 3 months ago saying he doesn’t want relationship. I left him alone straight away. I didn’t cry, beg etc. I did 30 days no contact and he contacted me on day 30. I see him few times a week at my work place. We started to chat and he started to chase me again. I received few messages, he intiated few conversation. Then few days ago he walked in to the bar near the office with his friend, looked at me, ignored me completely and left!!! I got so angry! I didn’t do or say anything but I will see him soon in the office again and I dont know how to behave around him anymore. Why did he ignore me?
Sevannaa

March 21, 2015 at 9:32 am

Me and my ex had argument and after that stopped talking it’s already 3 weeks. Today I texted him because I had question about our common friend my text was basic like this “hey A, sorry to text you this late (10:22pm) but after we stopped talking some wired stuff happened with our common friend if you have time please let’s talk I want to clear this out so I can feel better) it shows that he read the text right the next minute, 4 hours passed now is 22:29 did not get anything back from him? Why would he ignore me?

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:02 pm

Aren’t you supposed to be ignoring him after a breakup?
Sevannaa

March 24, 2015 at 10:10 am

Lol He answered to my text the next day he said ” I’m busy when I get time I will let you know” should I do the same to him when he texts me to meet up should I text back with “I am busy when I get time I’ll let you know” text?
admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:30 pm

No go back into no contact. Technically since you broke no contact you are supposed to start over but just add 2 weeks to your no contact. If there was no cheating on your end during the relationship try a jealously tactic but don’t go over board.

Camilla

March 19, 2015 at 6:22 am

Dated about 6 months, I initiate the break up.
As we seems drifting apart, I thought he would hold me back but he did not.

I just hate him because it seems like I meant nothing to him.

After I told him, I hate him for ignoring me.

Why he cant just continue to ignores me. Yet he apologized & spend time talking to me over the phone for 1 hour+ .. He told me he did tried to be with me and said just the way we wanted to be love is different.
Then he admit rather selfish & want his freedom.

I asked for another chance, but he said too early.

What am I suppose to do now?
He told me, I still have him.
He used to be the one who initiate the contact first, almost always.
We haven contact each other for 4 days .. I know pretty short ..

I want him back.
Christy

March 17, 2015 at 4:50 pm

My husband and I have been together for 17 years, and we have 3 children. We seperated for about a year and 5 months ago decided to give it another try. Well we live together but he has met someone at work and has started seeing her. He says he has no feelings for me that he doesnt love me and never has. He also says he has no feelings for this woman which is 8 years older than him but he likes that she buys him whatever he wants. I love my husband and really want to figure out how to get us back on track. Right now he rarely talks to me, we sleep in different rooms, we are like roommates. I have started the nc but we see each other everyday but spend our time in different rooms. Please help me to know how to get our communication back and start from there.
Thanks for any advice

admin

March 18, 2015 at 8:57 pm

Wow, 17 years is quite a long time.

I highly doubt that he has no feelings for you. I just think he has forgotten them.

You are going to have to alter your NC rule on him into a limited contact one.

marra

March 15, 2015 at 6:41 am

Lived in for 2yrs in other country. We were both foreign. I’m working while he was in the final month of his PhD. Studies. We both went back to our own country as his request to me coz he wanted me to see my family too. I noticed that this will be the end of our love story but I still assume that our love will make a away. Strange happened when he never calls nor message me. I emailed him what happened, he said his father died a month ago that his family made it secret from him. For that he said, he felt guilty for he hasn’t went back sooner and he cannot come back to me again due to family decision. I offered myself to come there just to be with him. He said his family cannot accept me. He pushed me to find someone else and even suggested to find new bf in my own country. I don’t know how will I handle this. I made emails and told him I’ll just give u time to mourne and fix things and I will set aside ours. He replied me. He never wants this to happen and thanking me so much to understand his difficult situation. He is giving me freedom to find a new one. It hurts me a lot coz our relationship was really fine.

I know he is confuse coz He has to come back to his country, family and establish his career.

My question is No call/email rule is advisable still in this kind of situation? My last 10 emails telling him I feel destroyed, blaming him that he just used me, telling him unfair, liar, cruel, player , coward and lastly i have ask him to fight for me and will he regret if he lost me in his life forever? He don’t reply after I emailed that. Now I’m still in my country and my situation is more harder.
Tess

March 12, 2015 at 11:12 pm

I just love this blog. although I’m going through a break up, all my questions have been answered and everything makes sense since I found this website. It gives good insight to men during a break up! I wish I did find it before we broke up so maybe I could’ve fixed it a little better than the outcome I gave. Emotion really does over power logic at some point. after being the crazyemotional girl, I’ve decided no contact is in play. thanks!

admin

March 13, 2015 at 8:46 pm

Thanks Tess for the kind words.

Lauren

March 12, 2015 at 6:12 pm

My boyfriend and I of 3 years broke up. We were a blended family with kids. We would always constantly fight over the little things. He lived in my apartment with me. We are in our 30s. When we broke up, he had to move back with his mom. I know he is mad about that a lot. I am doing the NC. But here is the thing, I don’t think he cares about me any more because he constantly got his mother and brother in his ear probably talking bad about me. And maybe his work buddies too. How do I try to get him back when his friends and family are always around and most likely telling them negative stuff about me?

admin

March 13, 2015 at 8:24 pm

You had kids together?

Is that what you meant?
Lauren

March 14, 2015 at 12:12 pm

No. I had 2 and he had one. Blended family. I have been doing the NC and this morning he sent me a text. I will copy and paste it. Can you tell me what it means. I think he has another girl because I found conversations between them on a video game. Here is the text-

U ruined our future. I want the best for us and begged u to change. Why couldn’t u do that for me?????? I’m enjoying not having u be ignorant and bossing me around but I do miss my family soooo much!!! I won’t text u again BC I done a lot I mean a lot of thinking. And from everything uve said after this went down. I know that u knew what u were doing. Sabotaging our relationship and our family on purpose. I can’t figure out why u would do it but do know that I don’t want a wife like that. I love u still and only wish u would a thought before u spoke. U truly destroyed the trust. I tried to be a good family man I really did. But it was never enuff. I hope u and the kids are doing well and continue to do so. I will PUT THIS ALL BEHIND US and won’t bother u again. Good bye babe
Lauren

March 15, 2015 at 2:00 pm

We have been broken up for 2 weeks when he sent this.
Lauren

March 15, 2015 at 6:01 pm

Please tell me what that message means

Marie

March 5, 2015 at 4:58 am

I didn’t realize until reading this, that I had been sending too many inquiries regarding a breakup. The breakup was sudden and with no explanation. I sent a “love letter” followed by three text messages asking him to please respond and asked what happend? Feeling at least an explanation was in order. I have, as suggested in your comments, reviewed our 3 months and can’t find a thing that would prompt this breakup. We have not been intimate or even kissed! I wrote in my letter my feelings though and wondere if that was the turn off. Felt it was ok to take that step and express myself. Interesting that you use the word “needy”. I find that I’m more of a “wanting” person. Thank you for enlightening me. Had no idea that my contacts may or has already, pushed him further down the road.
samantha

March 3, 2015 at 6:08 pm

Hi me and my partner split at the start of the year as he struggles with commitment. We agreed to part friends and give it a few weeks to see where we were. I didn’t hear from him so after 6 weeks I dropped him a text asking how his exams went and he did respond. I asked him how a hobby of his was and he didn’t read it.
I waited a couple of weeks and dropped him a message saying I didn’t want to get more serious and I liked what we had but was good with being friends as I loved hanging out with him. He read it but didn’t reply. A week later I text him asking if he fancied a coffee as it would be good to catch up, again he read it but hasn’t replied. I am not sure what to do, he seemed really keen on being friends when he ended things, as I say there were no arguments or shouting. I am not really sure what the right thing to do is, I want to give him his space but I do want to speak with him as I miss having him in my life whether it is as a friend or more
I found out
red

March 3, 2015 at 7:16 am

I want to thank you cuz your blog help me a lot. I was doing well till I messed up last weekend. And I don’t know what to do now.. please,help me??

I broke up with ma ex 6 month ago, we are on good terms. We dated on and off for two years. He’s ma first and I was his. Last Saturdays, I break the no contract rule and I send him a text inviting him to church cuz I missed him lot, it was my excuse to c him. I waited for him to reply but he didn’t! The next day, I email him saying i want to know if he’s going or not, in polite way I know, and still,he didn’t say a word, after one hr, I said “ are u mad at me or something??” then he said he’s busy with work and he won’t make it. after that I regret what I did so I apologize 4 bothering him saying it won’t happen again!

I messed up really bad, right?? I feel like I was NEEDY, DESPERATE, I WAS TOO MUCH RIGHT?? OH MA GOD!

Please help me!

admin

March 3, 2015 at 10:08 pm

Hahah whoa its not the end of the world.

Just go back into NC and stay there for the FULL 30 days. No more mess ups, ok.

You can do this.

Nada

March 2, 2015 at 4:09 pm

Mr and my ex met last october he was so in love with me and me also even he isv16years older than me. We were very happy in the beggining but suddenly he started ignoring me no call until i ask hom to call me,no text until i text him first.
I started asking him whats wrong why he changed but he always say nothing wrong he is just busy.. He ignored me the a whole month whivhh was january util one day i asked him to calle but he texted me instead sayi.ng that he is married and father of two kids and that he wanted me to know that then never meet me again.
Iwas shocked as hell and I said really bad things that really hurt and then hebsaid all that is not trure he only wanted to trst me. And the stupid me didnt stop and continued cursing but he stopped answering i removed him from facebook and then he blocked me from whatsapp
i decided to hate him and move on.
After a week i went ou with my frirendsbut i was thinking of him all the time so i decided to cal him but i found out that he blocked my number so i sen him 2messaages with no answer. I dicided to forget him and move o again.
After 3weeks i changed my phone number then decided to cal him. He answered me cause he didnt recognize the phone number ince its ew . So after i told him who i am amd why im calling he said that he is busy at work and lets talk later,
I sent him a msg and asked all questions i want. R u really mrried? What was your real reaso for broking up with me but no answer as usual.b
After 3dats i called him and realized that he blocked my new number as well so i got rreally angry so yesteday i sent him tons of messages about 25 msg from 9pm to 4am i soundeed pathetic and miserable and desperate
please tell me what to do. I do realy love him. Hel me pleaaaaase.
Im counting on you to give me a useful methode to get him back
April

March 2, 2015 at 5:39 am

Hi I really need your advice. I have read almost all of your articles and I have found them to be very informative and helpful. Now I have a situation that I need your advice. I’m going to try to keep this short and summarize. So I was seeing a guy for about 4 months. The guy thought that I played him and completely stopped talking to me from one day to the next. We went from talking every day for 4 months to nothing. It really hurt me. We were actually really good friends before we started seeing each other, which is probably why I miss him so much. So about 6 weeks after he stopped talking to me I sent him one long emotional message. I told him I was sorry if I made him upset and how I miss him. I got no response. After reading your articles I now know that I should not have done that. But anyways now it has been another 6 weeks of strict no contact from my part. I haven’t heard from him either. What should I do now? I really want him back in my life as I miss him dearly. Please give me advice. It has been a total of 12 weeks since we have had a conversation.

admin

March 2, 2015 at 9:58 pm

Have you reached out at all since you have implemented the NC rule?
April

March 3, 2015 at 12:19 am

No I have not because I am worried that I will just receive no response from him, just like the first time I texted him before implementing no contacts. He is definitely the “stubborn guy” you talked about so I feel like getting a response from him will be difficult. I see a mutual friend of ours twice a week as he is in my class, but I don’t talk about my situation with him. That’s just added info. But do you have any advice on what I should do now?

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1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”