Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

Suspian

May 10, 2015 at 7:19 pm

My ex broke up with me 1.5 months ago. I made a super stupid mistake by begging pleading him to get back to me right after that but I realized it and stopped immediately. I applied the no contact rule for a month and finally today I mustered confidence to send him a text
“Ohh Legend of Korra is on tv! Made me think of you :-)” (this is his fav of all time show).
3 hours later he responded “haha. Enjoy (with the jerk smiley)”.
I was out so I only replied to him back after 3 hours “aw how am I supposed to ask you for help with my visa with such convo killer :p” (I really need his help with visa as I’m flying to europe in June)
I know he didn’t read my message on purpose (as he is with hisphone on fb all the time), 1 hour ago he read it and completely kept quiet. Now what do I do? I’m feeling so confused right now.
Michelle

May 8, 2015 at 4:36 pm

My ex and i had an emotional break up after his bday, i was the one who decided to part away, both crying, but because i was going to married someone else this summer, but i didnt. i realize i still love him. I would text him after we broke up he would respond, and one day in the studio, he texts me and i did to and never hear from him again. 7mos has passed i texted him two months, telling him how much i love him and I miss him, never got a response. I texted him like three weeks ago and he has not responded. So at this point, i feel he hates me for parting away and because i was getting married. But i had to choose between him and other one, i realize i wanted him. Now, i miss him alot and i want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Sara

May 6, 2015 at 10:49 pm

My ex and I had a great relationship up until about the last month. Thats when he started to pull away and didn’t talk to me as much or want to see me as often. I don’t know if it was because he was having a lot of financial trouble and was having a hard time getting on his feet or what? I had a conversation with him about it and he seemed very upset and didnt want to break up. A couple days later I got mad at him over something dumb and broke up with him. I then, of course, pulled the crazy harassing ex girlfriend role. I called him and texted him non stop and was very mean to him. This resulted in him telling me to leave him alone and ignoring me since then. I started the NC but broke it within a week and a half. I restarted and am now on day 7. I am really close with his family and I still see them often. They have told me that he thinks I cheated on him (I didn’t) and that he thinks I have been driving by his house (also not true). He said some very mean things to them about me. He said he was looking for his way out anyway and was not upset about our breakup which I feel like is a lie. The think about him is he turns every emotion into anger. Sad, upset, hurt, or anything turns into serious anger. And he is the MOST stubborn person to walk this earth. That being said, he treated me better than anyone ever has. We literally got in 3 arguments in the entire year of us being together, but once we broke up it went crazy and we pretty much acted like we hated each other. I just want him to talk to me again and I want to work things out. I know I have acted crazy, but Im worried he won’t ever speak to me since he is so stubborn. He will literally go to his grave having never talked to me again because he has so much pride. Please help me!! I am desperate here!
virgo91

May 4, 2015 at 11:14 pm

when i text my ex he replies me so fastly… what does it mean ?? he is with a new girl but when i ask him .. hows your life going he says … just going :/ i mean isnt he happy with the new girl ?
becky

May 4, 2015 at 4:12 pm

My boyfriend and I have a complicated relationship we’re from two very different cultures me western him eastern sometimes we fight because I do something he considers wrong or vice versa but just recently we’ve been making plans and he’s been letting me down on all of them and ignoring my calls a d messages I love him so much and he says he does too but when we’re in work he’s all over me like a rash when we finish work he seems to forget I exist what should I do?
Jennifer

May 3, 2015 at 10:18 pm

I was in a relationship with my ex for nearly five years. He’s an alcoholleague been through a lot. Early in the year his grandpa passed. Soon after that he totaled his grandma’s car while wasted. He was looking at serious time but got out on work leave and is now on an anklet to monitor alcwasted After he totaled his grandma’s car he broke up with me. He said he wants nothing to do with me. He’s given me multiple reasons why the main one being because whenever he sees me he wants to hurt me and me put him in jail (which I never had done). Another thing he said the day he broke it off was to please promise him I’ll never date another alcoholic. He also said that hes no longer leading me on (I would tell him that if he wasn’t into the relationship that he needed to leave me). I’m so confused and hurt. I try so hard to do the no-contact but it’s hard when he was my main for so long. Please help?! Any insight would be appreciated.
Miranda

May 2, 2015 at 4:58 pm

My ex and I were 4 months when we broke up. Its been a week after the break up. I know i know 4 months whats that to it…but we were so inlove, I still am! Everything was perfect, our bond was great my family loves him, the sex was amazing we really clicked. He mentioned to me a couple times how he never knew what jealous was, until he started dating me.. the looks i’d get from boys and girls. I didn’t dress trashy, I dressed well..Its just he wasnt used to getting those “looks”.. He starting feeling insecure because of the attention i’d get. I understood and I did everything to make him feel secure. He broke up with me for the most stupidest reason, but that reason also made it clear that he needs help as in his insecurity is bad. I wish I can tell him I could help him through it but I’m honestly afraid he wont text back or reject me. I love him so much and I cant stop thinking about it. I constantly battle with myself on whether to text him or not. I’ve bumped into him at my moms work twice this week and we saw each other both and he didn’t say anything to me. Ease my mind please, I truly believe he’s the one for me and can’t let this slip out of my hands!
victoria

May 1, 2015 at 11:50 pm

My ex and I have been broken up for about give weeks. We’ve been together for a year and a half but this is our third break up and I feel final. The first time we broke up he said he needed space and three weeks later slept with someone I knew. The second time we broke up is because he found out o was hanging with an ex. This time I initiated the break up and instantly regretted it. For the last three weeks He’s been giving me mixed signals. One day he tells me he can’t look at me or be around me because its too much for him. Today, hes avoiding me and told a friend he’s taken himself out of the situation. Also, he’s been flirting with an older woman. I haven’t really stuck with the NC rule and I feel like I’ve pushed him away for good. I told him numerous of times how he’s hurt me and how h talking to that girl hurts me. Oh and to top it off he’s been only texting me back to come over to have sex which I haven’t done since we broke up. What do i do move on?
Alice

April 24, 2015 at 6:05 pm

My ex and I were in a complicated relationship… I broke up with him after a year, it was a rash choice and I was not in a good state. we didn’t see each other for a month, then we got back together for the semester but we weren’t labeled as together. In addition, another guy was talking to me during this time, but I strictly hung out with him AS A FRIEND, and cut him off when he said he wanted more… And when I realized I still loved my ex the whole time, he told me he didnt know if he wanted to do a relationship, and now he said he can’t do one. I tried giving him little gifts to show him I cared and wrote him a letter (it was our thing to write letters to each other) which all, I now see, came off as desperate. but he said he needs space and time and that I should try to move on. I’m trying NC but it’s eating me alive; he’s acts like we never dated. Summer break is in a week and a half and I won’t see him. Is there still any chance? I know I made my mistakes but I feel like he is the one.

Ashley

May 8, 2015 at 4:49 pm

I broke up with my Ex two days ago, after I confronted him on his hot & cold personality these past few weeks. We had a long distance relationship, but we talked every single day..it was constant communication. We broke up a few times, but we would always make up in matter of days. So far it has been 2 days and I havent recieved a text or call from him, I also see where he unfriended me on facebook. The break up was Nasty with alot of yelling over the phone. He told me repeatedly that he Loves me and that doesn’t want things to be this way, before we got off the phone. Now, there’s complete silence. He hasn’t contacted me at all. Do I still have a chance at getting back with him?
Alice

April 25, 2015 at 2:22 am

Thanks for the quick reply.

I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, and my imagination gets the better of me. Why is he ignoring me and acting so cold to me? Will he forget about me, should I wait for him to contact me first? I don’t want to get my hopes up, and he’s acting like we never had something special… He’s not the guy I fell in love with, he’s not acting like himself.
Chris Seiter

April 24, 2015 at 11:10 pm

Sure there is.

And it’s eating you alive?

How so?

Maybe I can help.

Toni

April 23, 2015 at 4:11 am

This was so helpful! My ex of 3 years and I broke up two months ago. We’re long distance, both in college. I implemented the no contact rule because he was on the fence between me and another girl. (I think the other girl is dating someone else now) Two hours ago I broke my own rule and texted him “hey I know its been a few months but I just wanted to see how you’re doing.” and no response. I think its pretty rude to not respond, but I do get it. I feel like he has to respond eventually, but until then I’m so proud of myself for trying. Gotta move on and get closure somehow and sometime!

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 1:04 pm

Why should he respond to that?

There’s nothing in there that entices him to respond.

Kaitlyn

April 22, 2015 at 8:29 pm

My boyfriend (now ex) have been dating for a year and a half. He is my first love, but I am not his. We had the crazy relationship where we fell in love immediately, had crazy love/hate fights, etc. We broke up last september for about 2 months (2014), i went crazy (not overboard) and made the mistake of texting him. He texted back maybe 1 or 2 times but only to say that he needs his space. After then I started the NC rule, and after a couple weeks i recieved more than 1 text from him accusing me of having a new boyfriend. This happened 3 times (he thought I had 3 new boyfriends), and we eventually reconnected after 2 months and got back together.

Fast forward to now, April 2015. We broke up a few days ago, again. Same reason, he said he feels we are growing apart and needs to learn to love himself and blablabla. Dont know if this is true or if he is sparing my feelings. We ended on the “i love you, and you love me too” note. Not a fight, more of a mutual heartbreak. He texted me the day after saying “Happy 420. Keep on smoking”, I waited a couple hours and replied “You too.”

I am now on day 4 of the NC Rule. It is driving me insane but after reading your article, and after our first break up, I have decided it is the best thing to do.

I want him back… and i realize it may take some time. I am willing to do the NC rule for 30 days. We have had our ups and downs but I love him, and I know he loves me too. Please give me some input on this, and help motivate me to keep the NC Rule going. i really need some insight on the mind of a 24 year old boy and how the NC rule is going to effect him. Help me get my ex back.

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:54 am

If you do the NC rule it should drive him insane if he is actively trying to get your attention.

Amy

April 17, 2015 at 3:36 pm

So after like a week of the break up I did text my ex and it’s been almost a week later and he never responded.
I did absolutely no wrong to him in the relationship, and he is the one who called it off. We’re still connected on social media. So now I don’t know what to do, of course I’m angry and want to send the hate. And no I didn’t text him again after the last message, I left it. So now what do I do? Why would he ignore me and will he ever say anything.

diane

April 22, 2015 at 7:43 pm

We are going through the exact same scenario. He has cut me off completely or ignoring everything and i did nothing drastic. The difference form us two is i was with him for four YEARS. I was loyal and committed but i was a jealous girlfriend so thats why. But he knows I’m devoted to him. It really hurts and I can only feel your sorrow because when i was with him for only two months, the thought of parting from him already wasn’t easy for me. It’s another thing when you actually grow fond and truly fancy a person. It’s a really unpleasant feeling to be ignored.

Hali

April 16, 2015 at 4:23 am

I dated someone for nearly 2 months (I know a joke, only 2 months!), but I have not had a lot of experience with a serious relationship, only casual dating for about 15 yrs. I have had either all physical relationships or all mental relationships, but never both. He was married for 10 yrs and then had 2 relationships after his divorce..both ended badly. He explained how the one right before me was needy and he stopped responding to her texts and that I was nothing like her.
We both really liked each other and were both so scared that the other shoe would drop and it would be scary because we couldn’t believe how easy and comfortable things were. We were in contact daily. We would see each other several times a week. I introduced him to my friends and we had sleepovers. He introduced me to his best friend and she kept telling me (as he did too) how much he liked me. We made future plans together.
He claimed he liked that I wasn’t needy or clingy, but as we were approaching 7 weeks, if I went a few hours without contacting him he started to send me texts expressing how he was concerned that I was going to “get good at relationships and run away” and was concerned that I had “one foot out the door”, He sent me an article about dating in the city (NYC) and how people miss “the one” because they are too busy waiting for “the one”….kept asking me more about my past relationships and telling me that I needed to open up more in order for things to work…also expressed that he was willing to take a chance on me and was so scared that he “could easily fall into this”…also noted that these were his issues and that he just wanted me to know where he was coming from…I kept asking where it was all coming from, but figured I had time to work things out because we were both all-in.
Long story short, we were texting one morning at 8:30a.m. I told him I was heading out the door for work and that I’d talk to him later…I texted him at 10p.m. that night and he didn’t respond, so the next morning I texted him again and he responded 1.5 hours later with short abrupt answers…(I knew something was up) I asked if he was still planning on coming over that night and he responded with “No, I don’t think we should see each other anymore” and said that there were differences that he couldn’t get past no matter how hard he tried to and that his outbursts that week were him trying to get past them and that it was better to end things now, if he wasn’t feeling it, before it progressed and got worse later.
I responded to his text twice that day and asked him to talk to me. He did not respond. I did send an email the following day since I was not able to convey my side and by the end of the weekend I saw him trolling the dating websites. I sent him a text that night basically telling him that I saw him trolling and will respect his decision and disappear.
I really have no idea why he was so insecure about things and why he choose to dump me rather than try to work things out. We both clearly liked each other and (I thought) things were progressing so nicely…he had sooo much baggage, but I never thought in a million years he would dump me!!
I haven’t cried like this over a guy in 15yrs…I am crushed and wish I understood why he did what he did. Do you think I will ever hear from him again?
Michelle

April 14, 2015 at 3:11 am

So my ex boyfriend (we were together a year) went into the air force and before he left for basic training we agreed that we were going to stay together. However, when I went to his graduation from basic training (which he wrote me inviting me to) he was shocked to see me and it was uncomfortable the whole weekend. When we finally sat down and talked, he said that we should break up because he couldn’t think of a way to make things work since he’d be in California for a year at his tech school learning Persian and it was going to take all his time and focus and he wouldn’t have time for a relationship. After that he said he still wanted me in his life and that he wanted to be friends. He said that if we both felt the same way when he came back during his leave and before he left for his duty station, we could maybe pick up where we left off (While still saying that if i met someone else i should move on) He also said he still loved me and would take any opportunity to talk to me when he could. He had been in California for 2 weeks when he finally reached out to me to me. He said that he hadn’t been very busy but he made a lot of friends they spend all their free time together. He started to get busy with school and i understood that he couldn’t talk much during the week so i’d wait until the weekend to start a conversation. (we talk over FB messenger). Although i know he isn’t busy with school he still ignores me because he’s spending time with his friends that he spends everyday with and ignores me. He also gets on Facebook and rather than connecting with people that he hasn’t talked to in months (like our other close friends worth keeping in touch with) He only talks to his new friends. For example everything he posts relates to them in some way like inside jokes or pictures, tagging them in everything and conversing with them in the comment section all while ignoring the messages I’ve sent him. This past weekend i said hello and asked if he was doing anything fun that weekend and he didn’t reply the whole day although he was on a few time Facebook throughout the day liking and commenting on things so i know he saw that i had messaged him. I had a question so i let him know that if he saw my message i would appreciate it if he’d let me know. around 10:30 his time he responded saying “Whats up? Ive been at the beach” and i asked him how it was and he was very short with me about it so i tried to start another conversation about it and he ignored me again. His friends tagged him in photos and he was liking and commenting and talking about it with them. I was a little confused that he spent the entire day with these people and still all he wanted to speak to was them. When we talk, its very forced on his side and he never starts a conversation or says hi, i always do. He told me he was going to be too busy and not concerned with making friends because its not what he was there. But now he spends all his free time with people he just met, going to the beach or rock climbing. And when ask why he ignores me he says that he doesn’t have time on the weekdays and he needs to focus on his studies so its not his fault. But during times that he could be talking to me when I’m just trying to maintain a friend ship, he ignores me. When he does speak to me its as if I’m a stranger. He barely brings up his friends and when i ask about them he ignores me. Once even i texted him a few times (A mistake) He replied that i was ruining his night because he was out with his friends. He said we should go a week without talking to each other so i could take the time to get over him since he was over me. Im hurt and I’m confused that a person who told me he loved and wanted me in his life could tell me he was annoyed by me and was over me and wish that i would move on and do the same because i was ruining his night out with people he barely knows.
Kristie

April 11, 2015 at 5:36 pm

I work with my ex, not in same office but the same building. I walk past his office every day several times as we share kitchen facilities etc. I was having an affair with him for 5 months, and tried calling it off several times, only to return the very next day. I then had a medical operation and was away from work for 3 weeks, so went into NC the day after the operation, I blocked his number and blocked him on social media etc.
I needed the space and time apart to get my head sorted, as I was in so much emotional pain (having fallen for an emotionally unavailable guy). And I know I did wrong there
This week I have returned to work, and continued with the NC. He messaged me within 30 mins of my return via our work email lync facility. I ignored it. And I have continued to ignore it… he probably doesn’t understand, but the fact he is married and I have tried ending it before, I am hoping he works it out, that I cannot continue in this situation.
However, yesterday he walks past me ignoring me now !!! and when we did catch eyes, he gave me such an evil glare…. it upset me… I wanted to go and see him, but resisted.
Today, I am very very tearful at home. Still in love with him, and feeling bad for ending things… but for my sanity and for other reasons I could not continue as before. I really thought I meant something to him, but its like he can ignore me and make me feel bad… Please let me know why he is behaving like this. thanks Kristie
Lovee

April 9, 2015 at 6:06 am

Hello, my ex boyfriend of one year and I broke up for almost 2 months. Long story short, I was being a mess with my living (being so negative and let myself fat for almost 6 months) and became offensive to him on all conversations we had.
One day I got really drunk and talked to other guy at the party that I wanted to look for the new boyfriend and he heard it and that hurt him so much and he cried.
He didn’t say anything but he’s changed a lot, after that for a month he broke up with me said he doesn’t fancy me any more. However, I believe the real reason was from that night. I knew it.

After broke up we met few times by him initiating and we kept in touch mostly texting and he called me once.
The texts we sent mostly casual things not serious topics. Most of the time he initiated it and we also talked about meeting again. (it’s been 3 weeks since our last meeting for a drink)

But I wonder why sometimes he doesn’t response my text after day or few days? Then out of the blue he sent me casual texts again and plan on meeting but we never made it.
He said he’d love to see me again but never initiates it and I don’t want to be the one who asking him out.
I am working on myself and I have obvious improvement physically and mentally and I want to see him so bad that he can see my change.

I still hope to get back with him and never act needy. I live my life keeping busy but still love him so much.

Should I be patient on this situation or should I just confront him asking about whether he wants to get back together? I don’t want to push him away…
Lenora

April 8, 2015 at 10:08 pm

My bf and I have been together for 5 1/2 years basically we broke up about 2 weeks ago and but we still love together. We have a child together..he told me he isnt I’m love with me anymore and he didn’t want to be with me as I basically told him he was a lousy spouse which he was.. We never spent time with each other I told him he had gotten too comfortable. Anyway long story short, he doesn’t communicate with me and when I ask him things whether in person or over Texts he ignores me.. I am in love with him still even though he doesn’t love me. He is about to leave soon for Maine for a year bc of his job but he will be back in a year. He says he needs to be by himself and get himself together financially which I completely understand he also said that if we work then we work but if not then not. I’m so confused idk what to do.. I do believe we need our space so when he goes to Maine I think that space is going to be good for both of us but idk what he’s thinking bc he doesn’t talk to me and when he does answer me it’s always with an attitude.. But again we live together he sleeps downstairs and I sleep in our room.. We both try to stay clear of each other I think he tries so he don’t have to talk to me. He always with his friends too..idk I love him and would like to marry him but if he doesn’t love me then what’s the point. I feel like it’s harder bc we live together but like I said he leaves in about 5mos.. Please help me bc I’m confused what should I do?
Josey

April 5, 2015 at 9:43 pm

I had sent probably 3 texts over a month period and got no response. I then noticed that he deleted all photos off social media. I think texted him and asked for some specific pictures and he replied that he did not have anything on his phone anymore. What does this all mean?
Kee

March 30, 2015 at 11:37 pm

Please please please help.I’m new to NC its only been 20 hours…my last series of horrible crap talking he asked why I’m still texting,please please please dont text or call and that doesn’t make him want to come back…I’m in live with this man deeply.He told me I will Marry him.I think he loves me but I hurt his pride.I’ve prayed and I dont know what to do!!!!<<Chris you are so smart and helpful!!! My ex and I ran back into each other after not seeing each other 8 plus…we've been together sine Jan…day before yesterday he ended it after an arguement…I dont know why I went so crazy and so ugly.Do you think he'll stop being mad and contact me?! Im only guilty of talking mean when angry that's not right but I was just hurt.Please I just want my family back together.I didn't mean the bad things I said.
Rene

March 30, 2015 at 3:41 pm

My ex and I started a 9 year relationship online. After 1 year I quit my job and moved down to be with him. For a long time we were very happy, despite some hard times (work) we went through. About 4 years into our relationship I found out he was flirting with some other girl, After a confrontation we worked things out and moved on. Well a month ago he comes to me and says that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants to end our relationship. But he wants to help me financially until I am on my feet again and he is doing better at work. We still have a joint account which he keeps funded to pay auto payments that we both still have and honestly he is not that good with money and I still keep track of everything. It is hard to enact the nc rule when we are still financially connecting and at this point I can’t just stop talking when I still need help (having hard time finding a steady job). I still love him but don’t want to seem to desperate. Can you tell me what I should do?

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1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”