Understanding Why Your Ex Boyfriend Is Ignoring You- And How To Get Him To Stop

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

nkp

October 30, 2015 at 7:47 am

Hey

i met a guy over chat in facebook about 2yesrs ago.And right know I just wanted to say I am going through a very hard break up right now.And last 3 week i did’t any contact like fb,phn,mesg.And i m really scare right.And so much impotant is i didn’t focus on anything objects.so what to do please suggestion. And i know this girl is never come back in my life.
Jane bodily

October 27, 2015 at 8:47 am

After 2 months I now need some answer before I send myself crazy!!!
I was seeing a guy for 3 months it could not of been more perfect.but then it just stopped. Nothing. It was like he had fell off the face of the earth.
4 weeks later I had a text saying it wasn’t me and it was his children they got very upset when they found out their dad was seeing someone (the first time since the break up of his marriage 2 years ago)
Since then just nothing. No closure which I have asks for so many times but he won’t give it to me. My friend has texted him to which he has replied completely ignoring anything to do with me.
So confused because I know that he was so happy as happy as I was. I understand that children come first but why won’t he just give me the closure I need?!
Waiting

October 22, 2015 at 6:44 am

So ex boyfriend and i broke up 5 years ago, first 2 years i emailed text alot . Then i stopped emailing and making contact . Out if the blue he emails saying i crossed his mind , he wonders how i am . I emailed back the next day im fine and hope hes happy . No email since from him. Why did he make contact .
Lisa sexy cooper

October 21, 2015 at 10:40 pm

I need help after 7 years one year married confused …..

Angie

November 6, 2015 at 3:05 pm

Hi Chris!
You’re site is being so helpful to me, thank you so much! However I’d still like to have some opinions on my situation..my ex dumped me a month ago. At first we decided to stay friends, but he was always so sweet to me, he even texted me at night..and I just couldn’t bear it! He told me that he did it because I said that we could stay friends. So I started to implement the no contact rule. At first it didn’t seem a problem to him, he always saluted me politely and with a big smile on the face. But now he completely ignores me..we go to the same university so we see each other everyday in class and we take the same way to go home so it’s impossible not to bump into each other, but he does everything to avoid seeing me. Does this mean that he’s over the whole thing? I’m still of the idea of continuing the no contact rule but..I fear that it’s useless. What should I do? And what does his behaviour mean in your opinion?

Thank you in advance!!!
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:24 am

Hi Lisa, If you can overlook the appearance I have another site strictly for married folks. It’s called http://www.mymarriagehelper.com

Amanda

October 20, 2015 at 5:07 am

Hi Chris.

Here’s my story. I would really like some advice from you.

We broke up about 2 months ago. I didn’t take it very well and so I became a text and call gnat. He blocked me off of Facebook and refused to give any form of response. 10 days later I called him again and he answered. I couldn’t take it when he said he was just busy and therefore couldn’t find time to reply me. Since then I’ve been on NC and I’m proud to say that today is day 26.

He has tried to call me several times from day 1 – day 15 of NC but I refused to answer. He hasn’t contacted me since then. You mentioned to contact the Ex once the NC period is over. But I’m thinking that perhaps it might be better to never contact him at all unless he contacts me again. I am emotionally tired of all this drama between us and I’m afraid of getting hurt and repeating the process. What should I do now? Or should I extend NC to 45 days? Is it actually worth doing this?

Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 1:13 am

No don’t let it go. It’s best if you contact him after the 30 days. You are in a good spot trust me! Did he leave any messages?

Dina

October 20, 2015 at 12:01 am

Hi Chris, thanks for the article! I found it refreshing to read a guy’s point of view, and the bits about desperation and neediness are helpful. The tendencies are all too familiar, but it seems I’m doing a pretty good job restraining myself so that’s something… It’s tempting to keep wallowing in self-pity (yes he has behaved like an asshole) and overanalysing everything, but it’s time to look at what I want and need and what I can do to help myself grow from this.
LaurenS

October 18, 2015 at 11:57 pm

Hi, I just wanted some advice from a male.
Me and my ex boyfriend were together for 7 years. We broke up 3 months ago, because I told him some bad news, which shocked him about me being sexually attacked. Ever since then, he hasn’t spoke to me. I’ve tried contacting him and I hear nothing in return. I don’t believe he has gone forever. But I also don’t understand what else I can do, I still love him with all my heart and it hurts more knowing he isn’t with me, by my side. I know he needs time to understand everything that’s happened, but what else can this mean?
At first I deleted him off all social media because I was so upset that he walked out of my life…but recently I re-added him on Facebook and he accepted straight away then moments later posted a tweet saying “Some things are impossbile to forget…”
I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if he still loves me and theres hope for the future.

Chris Seiter

October 20, 2015 at 9:36 pm

I think you shouldn’t have added him back until you were more indepth in a conversation with him. You gave him confidence that you are into him.

Donna

October 17, 2015 at 7:48 pm

Hi Chris, I love your site and even bought your guide. But things haven’t been working out for me. I was in a long distance relationship with my ex and am about to move to his city for a new job. Yet he is moody and ignores me when he wants to. Why do men do that? Sometimes an answer and sometimes they ignore for a week? What’s that about?! I know he’s mad at me because I blocked him during the NC rule; would his on off behavior be due to that?

Chris Seiter

October 18, 2015 at 11:32 pm

Thanks!

I enjoy hearing things like that.

Personally speaking, when my wife texts me and I don’t respond or I am moody it’s because of two things,

1. I am super busy
2. I am thinking about something else at the present moment.

Satori

October 16, 2015 at 2:15 pm

Me and my ex have been broken up now since November 2011 (I know I know, loong ago) now his family is still really close with me,they even help me with my son(not his) even to the point my son calls his dad papa, his sister kids call me tt, like all that. Since we broke up, I never really applied the NC rule, but I did TRY moving on. I was in a relationship or two,that didn’t work, and I know he had at least one other gf as well as essential he just felt with. …now we live in the same budding while I’m in school and stuff, and it’s driving me crazy lol. I have friends, so do he,but we still spend time together….I fee like a lot of the times when he has a women over, it’s only right to me, bc he knows others….or to get back at me for me having company….childish stuff. Considering he’s about to be 30 in 6 days And I’m 27; I feel we should be past the kid games. I still really love him, like a lot, and I feel he feels the same SOMETIMES, then sometimes I feel it’s just all a game….is it too late to try the NC rule and other things to “win him back” being we’ve been broken up and “friends” 4 years now?? Or should I let go of that guy feeling of him “being the one” and completely move forward??? I’ve had people say they think we’re meant to be just not at “this time” I’ve even talked to a psychic lol actually two, who gave some actually “good news” but…IDK he doesn’t have a gf, just a couple of women he sees. But it’s crazy bc they only go to his house, he never takes them out, buy them dinner, go on a date…..nothing lol so I’m sooooo confused bc we still time to time go out to eat,catch a movie…..please HELP LOL
KB

October 16, 2015 at 10:13 am

Hi Chris,

Although my story seems like everyone’s story in terms of NO contact from the ex, but I sitll would like to have your opinion.
My ex was a colleague of mine, who lost his job in really a bad humiliating way, then the only offer he had was abroad and he had no choice to just take it up as he has already a family to look after. Just before he leaves the country he stopped seeing me and said he need to stop as I wont cope. I tried to persuade him that we should give it a ago, we met one last time where he didnt stop saying he loves me and I wont cope with his character during this very ricky period of time he is going through. He was indeed very sad to leave the country. STill after that encounter he stopped seeing me and didnt even say proper good bye and said he wont be able to tell me good bye. It will be hard to see me…. I still believed this is all noble and all….
Once there he stopped completely contacting me, two weeks now, I did text him hello and how are things, his answers where sallow…. a week later I started having the same issues he had at work and was threatened for dismissal … long story… the first person I contacted (by text) was him, not because I only wanted to talk to him when I was desperate, but because we both belong to the same Union and I wanted advise. He answered me straight away, saying I should leave the place as they wont leave me in peace and bla bla bla.. I told him I am waiting for the sack so I can go legal actually… then he left the chat and didnt even ask for the last three days how did it go and what did I do… nothing… I texted him saying that was not nice of him, especially knowing what Iam going through… I did go abit over the edge when I had no answer, saying I wished he deserved all I did at work for him and I wished he deserved being my friend at first place. His reply was only one sentence, ”Yes Iam not man enough to you , Iam not man enought to listen just leave me….. and that was that….. deep inside me I do not understand why all this distance and anger while as a couple we did have problems at the contrary, we had a gorgeous story…. and why turni ng his back to me when I needed him as a friend…. was I that wrong about the guy???? may day 🙂

Chris Seiter

October 17, 2015 at 5:49 am

Ok, I am dying to know.

How did he lose his job?

Cynthia

October 13, 2015 at 5:23 pm

Hey Chris,
Just before my ex and I broke up he had a nasty habit of ignoring me for long periods of time (I would text and he wouldn’t reply for like a day or two and I had to push for a reply). This went on for a couple of months and basically I became a text and call gnat due to the fact that he was ignoring me. He would lie about stuff like saying he didn’t see my message or that he “forgot” and then get mad when I questioned it, saying I didn’t trust him enough. He said he wanted space and I tried my best to give it to him. When we broke up he was saying stuff like he didn’t feel the same and he wanted some space so I decided to do a 45 day NC rule. I am actually quite seriously ill at the moment and I very much need to talk him so I sent him a text (not stating that i’m ill just that I need to talk to him and asking when he might be available) but no reply! He knew I wasn’t well to a small extent but doesn’t know that it got worse and I would really like him to be around as I recover. Aside from a couple of fights I have never wronged him on a deep level and overall our relationship was very good so I don’t know why he is STILL ignoring me. How can he still need space after 2 months?
jane

October 13, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Nice, punitive article! I just finished a text gnat (:P) and bumped into this article, when i was googling… ‘why ex-boyfriends go cold’… anyway, i have a weird story, we were about to be married, 4 year long relationship, he was my best friend(im one of those independent ‘alone but not lonely’ types) and he came into my life and made me happy. Now we are in the same company after college, but he is posted in a different city..and i couldnt cope with his female ‘friends’. i broke up. And then i tried like a maniac to make up(our motto was no break up unless cheating) but he vehemently refused. I went for NC, it had a reverse effect, he became angry on me.. and i am like in modes :crazy, NC,crazy,NC,crazy…Last time he called, he said i was crazy to believe that he didnt care blah blah…and AGAIN, he went stone cold. I am going crazy actually. i lost my best friend, my only friend in the world. I was better with my company before we were together,,,but now getting back to my old self is draining every optimistic drive from my mind, body n soul.
P.S. We had the real deal. Parents knew everything,marriage fixed, and then poof. DOES REAL LOVE COME BACK??? DO YOU NEVER END UP WITH YOUR FIRST?? Enlighten me CHRS!

Chris Seiter

October 14, 2015 at 1:12 am

Were you engaged?

Imelda

October 6, 2015 at 2:09 pm

He ignores my texts but then still texts me “good morning” and “good night”. Even still after I began the NC rule. It’s only day 2 but he is texting me that. Why if he ignored all my other texts before the NC rule was implemented???

Zaahidah

November 9, 2015 at 5:22 pm

I have the same problem with my ex boyfriend Hamza he ignores me and says the f word and swears at me but I still love him.

Jane

September 30, 2015 at 7:45 pm

I just wanted to say I am going through a very hard break up right now and your articles have really helped! Like most women I have read everything from “how to forget him” to “how to get him back”. I am implementing no contact (2 weeks so far) and he has not tried to contact yet either. Sob story aside, it came down to a communication flaw which blew up in our faces resulting in a irrational break up. Everything besides communication and his workaholic nature has been wonderful. Of course right now I am hoping to hear from him but I’ll just learn to live without him like I know I have too. Not my first heartbreak so I know the motions. I care deeply for him like no one else which makes this really damn hard.

Thank you for your blunt opinions.
Lauren

September 30, 2015 at 11:29 am

Me and my ex broke up a year ago. However at first we were seeing eachother like nothing happened then it became clear we were nothing. Friends with benefits. We didn’t speak too much for a couple months (however we had some contact) then we met up again and things were looking hopeful. And I went crazy. Talking about the past. Didn’t stop. He told me to just leave him alone and he will contact me. I didn’t. I went too too far. He now blocked me from everything other than facebook (which he doesn’t really use). I called obsessivly off a private number. Says he is done. Will never speak to me again. No one has ever gone this crazy. Too many times iv done this and he doesn’t want to know anymore. He actually begged me not to call him again. He says I always get in touch I can never just leave him alone. Even if I do no contact I think he is serious this time. Do I have any chance? I didn’t do him wrong. Ever. He did me infact, but he says I don’t listen. Ever. And he’s right. But now it’s too late
Amanda

September 22, 2015 at 11:56 am

Hi Chris.

I’ve been spending a lot of time on your site, reading up on almost everything that seems applicable to me. Also, I’ve failed the NC rule for about 3 times, and this is the 4th (and i hope it’s the final) time. I’m currently on day 10 of NC.

My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. I managed to achieve 15 days of NC after that, but failed because i wrote him a letter and somehow that made me want a response from him, and then i called him on the phone. We met up to talk things out and then things got really ugly. We agreed to remain as friends but then he also said that he doesn’t want any communication between us. The next day after we met up, I became a text gnat and sent him, i think 30 text messages within a day. I seriously wasn’t in a good state of mind. I also found out that he blocked me off of facebook and refused to answer my calls. I understand that I’ve gone overboard with texting him, and honestly I couldn’t control my feelings at that time. I do regret my actions now, and i did apologise for doing so.

I’ve set a target for doing NC for a period of 50 days, which would end in November. Do you think he hates me now? And how long does he want to drag this? I am emotionally exhausted and I just want to be friends with him again.
yADY

September 16, 2015 at 2:37 pm

HOLA ME ENCANTA TU WEBSITE

Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 4:44 pm

Gracias!!

Camille

September 11, 2015 at 5:21 pm

So, my situation is a little weird…

I met a guy over email about 2 years ago. He was in another country, and we wrote back and forth weekly (that’s all he was allowed). After a year, we were able to Skype, and we both clicked. He admitted that for some time he had had feelings for me. Well, eventually we became LD boyfriend and girlfriend. It was wonderful, and he always sent me little gifts, and I did the same. We wrote a lot of letters and shared a lot about ourselves and our goals and hopes, etc. He is shy, from a small town, very independent, and sensitive. He doesn’t have much money and doesn’t speak English.

He made plans to come to the US to see me and to study English (I didn’t help him in any way except to find him a place to stay and offer to pick him up from the airport), but suddenly, two weeks before he was coming, he emailed and basically broke the relationship off. He said he had enjoyed the time we wrote, but that my parents were right, that we shouldn’t have gotten into an LDR (my parents did not approve, he was worried about that), and that he had a lot of hardships and things coming his way. He hasn’t seen his family in a while, and is homesick. He mentioned that he needed some time to relax from his current duties and reorganize his life a bit. He said maybe things could be different after we met each other. But for now, he had made other plans on where to stay and had someone picking him up from the aiport. Well, that sort of broke my heart.

I wrote back and told him I was confused, but that I respected his decision, and if he needed anything, to let me know.

He got here to the US (I’m one of the only people he knows here, btw), and ended up calling me because his plans fell through on where to stay, so I had to set something up and pick him up. I could tell he was shy and probably embarassed to see me. I did my best to set him up with anything he needed in his first few days here. I called or texted the next few days to make sure he was alright and see if he needed anything, but it may have come across as needy. Because he suddenly just stopped responding to my texts, and now, when we see each other in public, he avoids me. I can tell he is uncomfortable when I approach him. I am very concerned about him having a good experience here, since he doesn’t speak English, and I don’t want him to think I don’t care. I want to know if he is doing alright. But, though he needs it, he doesn’t accept my help anymore, and tries to do it himself, and he doesn’t respond to texts.

He’s been here three weeks now. In two weeks, I haven’t texted or called unless it was necessary (English school fee deadlines he was unaware of), and in the last week I haven’t called or texted.

I’m not sure if I annoyed him or did something wrong, if I was needy, or if he is beating himself up and embarrassed, has a lot on his plate, is scared of my parents, or if he thinks I am upset with him… or maybe just needs space.

What’s the best path of action to take? Did I lose him?
Jenn

September 10, 2015 at 4:14 am

Hi Chris,
It’s been 4 months since my ex and I have been broken up from our 3-year relationship. The actual split was due to his decision in no longer wanting to put in the effort needed in having a serious relationship. He apologized for being selfish with his decision since he knew we talked about marriage and children with each other (that was pretty much the next step), but that he just wanted to make it through grad school with no distractions. During the actual break-up, he did not want to have any physical contact (acted like a machine), and thereafter, he requested no verbal communication for a while. I recently finally completed a legit NC rule that lasted little over a month. I decided to reach out to him with a sarcastic, playful text that he would have loved getting before when we were together. It was a picture illustrating the distance between the sun and the moon, and I went jokingly said it was referring to the distance between he and I. He responded with a fitting, sarcastic response and goofy smiley face. Now, I know this only a simple text message, but it’s the first one that he has responded to that isn’t about the apartment that we shared or his advice on physical therapy I’m currently receiving (he is a PT student). I guess, I’m wondering if there is hope for us to communicate again on a non-business level? He has yet to ask me how I am doing and it’s hard not to analyze. He is also fine with me still using his and his parents’ furniture until I don’t need it anymore. It’s confusing…
Thank you in advance for any advice you may have!!!
Lucy

August 28, 2015 at 11:03 pm

I’d just like to thank you for taking the time to write this article. I’m not going to write out my sob story because clearly everyones circumstances are different. You don’t know anyone personally, so any advice is just speculation. My point is, thanks for not sugar coating this topic, and for caring enough to articulate the males point of view in the break up. It was actually rather helpful. 🙂