Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

1,959 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Boyfriend Always Ignoring Me?”

  1. Erika

    February 8, 2016 at 9:59 am

    Hi I need some help! I’ve used the no contact rule and then sent a text. It worked. After a few days we had s phone chat where he said he had been thinking of me and that was basically all he said. We texted every two days or so then every day. He then met up with me to look at cars. He spent the whole day with me. No kiss goodbye nothing. Two days later we texted again and kept that going. Then he suggested we meet up again (3 weeks from last meeting up). He seemed interested. When we met up he gave me a peck on the lips and we talked about general things for two hours. We said goodbye again peck on lips. Then bam nothing. I texted him that night to see if he got home ok and response was just yes. I replied about something else to see what’s up and very distant. Replied again and he just stopped answering. What is going on ????? I only said to him I wanted to see him again. Please help.

    1. Erika

      February 12, 2016 at 6:08 pm

      I think you’re right. Surely there is something there making him keep talking to me. Can this pulling away stop to eventually him fitting me in his life? What else can I do? NC again ! Or take longer to reply back ?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 13, 2016 at 11:21 am

      If he reakky doesn’t want a serious relatiinship because if his daughter, that means he will stop pulling away after she’s 18, the only thing you can do is decide whether to keep your relationship to him to minimal or stop at all..

      It’s easy to attract a person, in shirt just aim being the ungettable girl but if that’s really his priority, can’t do anything but respect that

    3. Erika

      February 12, 2016 at 11:45 am

      There was more to the breakup. We went away for the weekend. He felt guilty leaving his daughter 16 at home. He also had a so.n 20 His wife left him and the kids 16 months ago. I was his first girlfriend. So the reason was “guilt and maybe not ready”. After the NC 30 days he said to me in a phone conv he was not seeing anyone whilst he was talking to me and maybe when he starts to sort himself we could see more of each other. He texted me last night and was more engaging. Then as usual pulls back. This is what drives me nuts. I’m careful what I text. I don’t bother him about feelings. If he was not into me why keep texting ? I leave it to him to start the texts. Baby would he travel over an hour each way to see me if he was not interested ? This man is a human rubber band. I forgot he also said at the breakup he needed to concentrate on his daughter until she is more independent (18). I’m confused. All this post NC. Do I stay and be patient ? I really like him.

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 12, 2016 at 3:38 pm

      Oh so that’s why…For me, let’s say he’s telling the truth, that he wants his daughter as a priority right now, then by that way, you’d know how to set your expectations or until when you would wait or if you should wait…

      Because if I keep that reason in mind, maybe he really doesn’t want the relationship to go deeper… He ‘s preventing himself when he pulls back

    5. Erika

      February 10, 2016 at 7:12 am

      Hi. I hope I replied to your question in the right spot! I said to him. I’d really like to see you again. He said well not tonight its late (it was late) I said well no not tonight. Since sending my last post he replied, 48 hrs later. Said he had just got back from a sport he plays. I didn’t reply. 30 mins later he wrote again said what he did during the day at work. He is a cop. I didn’t reply until the next morning. I said hope your day was good and that I had attended a funeral of a mutual friend. Then he just replied asking how it went. I’m so confused. If I mention anything relating to seeing him or about my exercising to lose some weight he shuts down. Like I said the no contact worked wonderfully in day 31 I texted him and we started talking. Saw each other twice but he seems to run away all the time. Has he out me in friend zone or is he still sorting himself out. He broke up with me because “he was not ready” for a serious relationship.

    6. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 11, 2016 at 9:52 am

      Hmm, that means he’s avoiding to go deeper because still not ready to be in a serious relationahip or (sorry to say this,)sighs, he does’nt find you interesting enough to commit

    7. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2016 at 6:34 am

      HI Erika,

      Hmmm.. he stopped replying when you said you wanted to see him again? How did you say it?

  2. Mia

    February 8, 2016 at 4:24 am

    Hi Chris,

    My ex bf just went totally m.i.a last week. Out of nowhere he has blocked me from everything, we were just talking about our future the night before he disappeared,talking about marriage,kids and we were btw engaged,we were even trying to have a baby… The next morning we got into a little fight because he didn’t know im going out of town with my friends and there’s some guys with me. But we were in good terms at the end of the day,we both calmed down..he was mad because of my double standard,i agree i have been controlling, needy .. We are in long distance relationship..the next day pooof gone! Since i was blocked out i did what a freaking gf would do.. Contact his friends from home and friends at work on fb. But nobody would help. Maybe he has given them a heads up. After almost 2 weeks he unblocks me on skype and ask help tech related. I did and was able to help him, i tried to ask him what went wrong he said i hurt him really bad. He said he just couldn’t go back to the way it was before and after all this has happened do i really think i wouldnt be worse than before.. So i told him i definitely learned my lesson.which i really did.. He said it has not been easy for him and is hurting more than he thought possible. I ask if theres no little love left told him how hurt i am too but is ready to do anything i can to fix this this ..he said he cant and he is just hurt and ask to not make things any harder he said he let me stay on skpe but ask not make it anymore painful..so i calmed down and try to make things lighter.. He would still response but not as much and quick as it was before.. But im the one who always ask questions and try to keep the conversation going..which there isnt much because he would response longer than usual. I dont know what to do now. Should i still try to do the nc rule or no? I mean he’s back and promised he wont block me on skype anymore..

    1. Mia

      February 9, 2016 at 7:36 am

      I could do that.. But Does it really seem like my situation is hopeless?

    2. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 10, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      I don’t think it’s hopeless.. but you need nc for yourself to have a fresh start

    3. Mia

      February 8, 2016 at 11:18 am

      He didnt tell me specifically why but he knew about thr trip.. What he doesn’t know is who im going with. He said that i lied about telling that my friends are all gay.. But he misunderstood and i havnt been clear who are straight and gays among them. I tried to make that clear.. And he met them already.. But that’s all the response i got when i tried to open it up..he said he let me stay on skype so we could chat but He is asking me not to make things more painful than it already is..im really confused about that now.. Also I think i choke him a little bit by being really controlling and i would always question him who he is with and what is he doing all the time.. Since we are in ldr that’s the least thing i could do to build trust.. Ask. But i think i was a little too much to the point it shows that i really dont trust him.. I dont know what got in to me but i wasnt like this the first 8 months of our relationship..

    4. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 9, 2016 at 7:15 am

      Yeah, maybe it is that control issue. SO, yeah do nc. Do nc more for you than getting him back.

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 8, 2016 at 10:31 am

      HI Mia,

      I’m sorry I dont’ understand. He said you’ve hurt him so bad? How? by not informing him of the trip?

  3. Jessica

    February 1, 2016 at 5:06 am

    Hi! So I broke up with my boyfriend because of long distance. We had been fighting for about 2 months about it because I was overwhelmed by not seeing him and I would bring it up very often. He got distant because of it and I couldn’t handle having a LDR + distant boyfriend. He cried and told me he loved me and said he was sorry, but then 2 days later I texted him to see how he was doing and tell him I missed him and he told me that he was actually comfortable with what happened and after thinking about it and he thought I made a good decision. I asked to stay friends in hopes that we could get back together in a few months when there is no more distance, but he said he wanted to move on, that he didn’t think we only broke up because of distance and we probably simply weren’t meant to be. I texted him a couple times since then to ask how he was doing and he always responded in a friendly yet cold an “to the point” way. I still have to wait 2 more weeks to end the NC rule but he isn’t texting or contacting me at all and that makes me feel like he simply really does want to move on. I’m scared to text and get another one of those friendly and cold responses that leave no room for a conversation… is that how it’s supposed to happen? I’m just very worried I’ll do something wrong.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      February 1, 2016 at 12:43 pm

      Hi Jessica,

      Though we can’t guarantee that Nc works 100%, and this situation, we don’t know what your ex is thinking. So, don’t jump into conclusions. Make your first message very ineteresting for him to reply, soemthing that a best bud would send to have a good convo or to laugh about.

  4. Jessica

    January 26, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    Hello,
    I usually don’t do this, or obsess over an ex that dumped me, but this one has me caught off guard. We dated for a little over 4 months. Everything was great, he was really into me. He introduced me to his family and friends, and they all loved me and even friended me on Facebook. We never had an argument or disagreement, while there were things we didn’t completely agree about, we could compromise but no fights. While we were dating I was in law school. I made a difficult decision to quit, even though it was my dream, but it was getting way too expensive. When that happened I was really down, but always expressed that I still had feelings for him and didn’t ignore him and he was right there to pick me up and make me feel better. He was a great guy, he hit everything on my list that I was looking for. He was taking another job about 2 hours away but said repeatedly that I would like the area there and until i moved down there he would commute back to me, since his family was by me too, and of course I would go to him too. Then one day, about 4 days ago, he said that we just couldn’t communicate and he didn’t see us having a future in a relationship. He expressed that his head was spinning because of the move and that he really liked me and wanted to remain in my life. I was completely shocked, however I respected his wishes but expressed that my heart was broken. I quit contacting him completely as I don’t want to come off as desperate because I am not, I have guys that would love to take me out, but I had a connection with him. I unfriended him on all social media,however his friends are still friends with me. I just wonder if there sounds like there is any hope or if I should just face it that he will not come back. I know he really cares for me and he even said this was the hardest thing he’s had to do. It was hard on me too. Now I’m just looking for advice and I will continue to do the no contact as I feel like he may just need time and space to think about things.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 27, 2016 at 10:45 am

      Hi Jessica,

      It’s too early to say that he’s not coming back. You even said that this is hard for him too and you had a very good relationship. Maybe he’s just overwhelmed with the move but try out doing the steps first and if your gut says he just needs time then why not have faith in that?

  5. Mia

    January 21, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    Hi Amor,
    Thank you, your words did help a lot. You know the whole commitment thing, I actually brought it up to him that day we saw each other. I asked him if that’s what he didn’t want for the moment. He seemed to have gotten a bit offended and told me I’ve been with you for ten years, why would the reason be that I don’t want a commitment. Well, we’ve still talked to each other. I’ve been a little more distant just because that previous text he had sent me about us not talking anymore. He has been the one initiating contact though. I am still like confused with him and I’ve been wanting to have a straight up conversation with him about what he wants and what I need. I love this guy with all my heart but I honestly can’t be like this anymore. Where one day he loves me and the next he doesn’t even text me. I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t seem to be able to and when I stop talking, he talks to me. I asked him if we could meet up yesterday but he was at his parent’s house. He told me he would let me know if we could today. I honestly didn’t believe he would try for today so i jst replied with a “yea okay” and he text me back telling me I am completely serious i will try my hardest and i will let you know. I don’t know if it will happen. But if it does, I don’t know what to say to him anymore. I feel like I’ve tried every way imaginable to get him to open up to me and tell me what he’s feeling, why he still talks to me if he doesn’t want to be with me. I don’t know what else to say to him.

  6. Kristen

    January 21, 2016 at 4:22 pm

    I went through a month of no contact with my ex, who dumped me, then had neutral/positive response from the first text I sent him. A couple weeks after, I ran into him at a party and he completely ignored me. He wouldn’t say hello, or even look at me. Do I take this to mean he hates me? or that he really just doesn’t care or ever want to talk to me again ? I don’t know whether I should continue with texts and see if he will talk to me

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 23, 2016 at 11:40 am

      Hi Kirsten,

      If he’s not replying in multiple texts, I’m sorry. that’s a sign you have to move on.

  7. Elizabeth

    January 20, 2016 at 6:00 am

    I need some advice. My boyfriend broke up with me on April 2015. We didn’t do anything wrong to each other, it was just long distance and he said he couldn’t do t anymore. He wished me well and said it was the best relationship he’s ever had. Afterwards we talked, and I guess I was how you mentioned, desperate and texted a lot… Ending of May2015, he said he couldn’t have this conversation anymore. We haven’t been in contact since… A friend told me that he had a few flings here and there. But will I ever talk to him again? I want to accept this breakup and move on, but I feel like I can’t get closure. I still feel deep down that he cares.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 11:45 am

      Hi Elizabeth,
      So you have totally no contact since May 2015? Then you don’t have to do the NC period. Why not try to do a test text?

  8. Mia

    January 19, 2016 at 6:58 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I’ve read and reread your articles. I was with my ex for ten years and we’ve been apart for 3months. The first month and a half were torture. But after NC he started talking to me. The most we go on now with no talking is maybe 3 days and he’s always the first one to text. We have seen each other, hes kissed me like before and we’ve talked but when we begin to get into us, he stops. He will be the one to start the conversation and then jst stops. I’ve tried my best to move on, even though he continues texting me. I’ve actually been okay with talking to him and not feeling that desperate need to talk about us. Now, recently we went out. We went out to dinner and then hung out talking like normal. That night he kissed me and then he told me he was sorry and he would never do that again. Then we jst stood there and he held me again and kissed me. He then told me he missed me so much and that he doesn’t want anyone else ever because he only loves me. And that he loves me so much. So I told him then if that’s the case why can’t you be with me. And he told me he thought we fought too much and he didn’t want to go back to that. He also told me tht he felt if we were meant to be, we will be. That he doesnt plan on being out of my life or having me out of his. I understand him in that sense but the fighting was mostly on his end, I would push his buttons and bring stuff up from the past but I would do it at times when he would be upset and fighting with me. We both had our faults and I understand them. Coming back to my encounter with him, we both cried that nite and told each other we stilled loved one another. As he left he still kissed me and told me the following time we would see each other, he would plan everything. We text each other the next day, he did send me a message n I didn’t see it so I thought he never replied so I didn’t. The day after I realized he had text me, so I txt him and apologized that I had not seen his text. He became distant n told me it was ok and never replied. The following day he text me about a show. Maybe an hour later he tells me that he’s realized I have so much going for me and that he knows I’ve moved on n that I will meet someone soon and that we should stop talking. I am like heart broken again. I did tell ask why every time he opens up to me, he backs away from me. He doesn’t give me a reply all he did was tell me to stop and that no he doesn’t want to stop talking to me. I am so confused. I haven’t text him right now but I am back to being in major pain again. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 21, 2016 at 2:19 pm

      Mia,

      haaah.. men who are afraid to commit. I understand it’s frustrating. He has to move on from the past and it’s not like you’re not going to have arguments in the future. But the good thing about your situation, is that he’s clear he doesn’t want to stop talking to you.

      I think when you see each other next time talk to him in the calmest and heartfelt way possible. About what you really feel and that his fears should be left in the past together with the memories. If he hasn’t noticed, you haven’t fought yet right? Better if you write what you’re going to say before that and then read it and memorize. So, that your emotions on that time won’t get in the way.

      Because honestly, when he confessed he doesn’t want to commit because of the previous fights, and you agreed in your mind, and you showed him you did when you agreed to meet again, that kind of was sealing the deal on both of you that the relationship is an open relationship. It’s not exclusive. You’re fine on it having no labels. But then after the no reply event he thought you’re moving on. Maybe start your convo by saying that you remembered what he said and you’re wondering how does he picture life proving to him that you two were meant to be?

      But honestly, I believe life is so much easier if people just make up their minds and stop blaming life why this and that happened to them. Because there are things in life that we really have no control over, so when you the power to do so, do it. Otherwise, you’ll live a life of regrets.

  9. mc

    January 16, 2016 at 2:31 am

    Chris, I really neee your opinion on something. I am in a five year relationship with my boyfriend. He asked for space last year and I implemented NC and he begged me to take him back after a month. We were happy for several months and I changed my character. I only texted in the evening and make him text first. However, I was still a bit jealous and during November to December I was so emotional always since I am having my own problems. I needed someone to talk to and vent my anger on him. We were still okay since I was not desperate or anything. We are in a long distance relationship. And by the time I was going to come home for vacation, I acted distant since I am mad at him. Then he got worried and became vert sweet to me. Then when I arrived I kind of demanded his time since we rarely see each other. Then on December 23 I said hurtful things to him. Then when I got home I texted him a long apology text. I did not know that hr also texted me “eat well”. I have not read it until I sent my apology text. After that he acted so distant. I wanted us to be okay for Christmas. However, I appeared kind of needy. He has tried to break up with me 3 times already and avoids me. Sometimes we are okay. But when I ask him “do you love me?” He starts to get distant again. What should I do?

    Chris, I’m really a fan of your work and I even recommended it to my friends. Will NC still work this time? Or can I not implement NC since we have not broken up yet? I am sad since we were okay then I began to be needy and controlling again. How can I change his perspective of me? Thanks a lot Chris.

    1. mc

      January 19, 2016 at 12:57 am

      I have read from the prevent a breakup that the solution is communication. And yet I am doing nc. Am I on the right track?

    2. mc

      January 18, 2016 at 2:26 pm

      Thank you so much amor! I am planning on doing nc on him and ignore him for a while. I am planning on going to the gym and finding boxing classes. Ill talk to my friends more frequent also since I have been fcusing on him lately. I have been waiting for your reply and thank you so much. I will follow your advice and be brave without him. 🙂

    3. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 8:30 pm

      You’re welcome MC 🙂

    4. mc

      January 17, 2016 at 8:31 am

      Hi amor, thank you so much for your advice. But I really dont know what made him this way. Is it my neediness or controlling attitude. If it was my neediness then I am guessing I have to implement nc on him but if it were for my controlling behavior then I will change and show him that I have changed. What do you think amor?

    5. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 18, 2016 at 10:40 am

      Welcome 🙂
      Yes on both of your ideas but if you’re going to show you changed, don’t do it in a desperate way or too direct that you are indeed doing something together just to show you’ve changed.

    6. mc

      January 17, 2016 at 5:40 am

      I begged him to stay and we are still together. But he doesnt text much and doesnt want to talk over the phone. He has also been a jerk lately. Why is this? What can I do?

    7. mc

      January 16, 2016 at 6:03 am

      Hi amor, yes I have told him those things. I apologize for controlling him. So yesterday he was acting kind of okay. But I guess he again sensed desperation since I’m super cautious with what I will text him. Then when he got home I would usually call him but what he said is he wants to sleep already. And today he doesnt answer any of my calls. I have called several times already. I know I have problems but before Dec 23 he was still very nice to me. It is only when I went home that I acted needy. I tried to go NC today but I cant since I dont know what our real status is. Should I still push through wuth NC? Whats the best thing to text him before going to NC? Is really my neediness that make him act this way? He told me he doesnt want to be in a relationship yet just last year we were still very happy. I browsed our convos. Thanks amor. I need support at these times. I want to text him hate texts. But Im controlling myself. I really am mad at him but Im not sure if its okay to send him hate texts. Cause I have been super emoional. I dont know what to do.

    8. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 17, 2016 at 7:56 am

      Hi again MC,

      You’re welcome. No, it’s not okay to send hate texts because you will regret it afterwards. Anything you do in anger, you will regret someday.

    9. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2016 at 4:49 am

      HI MC,

      I’m amazed how you’re aware of your mistakes and you’re admitting them. I myself am not that aware of my shortcomings. It’s the first step to change it. So, kudos to you! It’s good you haven’t broken up. So, before doing NC, have you really tried telling him what you just told us? It helps a lot when he knows you acknowledge it and you’re willing to change. If you have sincerely talked about that with him and he’s still distant then give him time. That’s when NC can be beneficial for him to think and for you to relax because you know you’ve already said what you need to say. You don’t need to break up to implement NC. You can do it while still being together. Gauge how long you will do it based on how you know him and of the situation then stick to that. When you feel the need to control; stop, breathe and smile that you know yourself enough to notice and stop it.

  10. Miss Dee

    January 14, 2016 at 6:56 pm

    Hi Chris, lovely article. I was wondering, would this strategy work even if he says he wants nothing more to do with me?

    An old friend and I started dating. We went out a few times and he used to come over and hang out when he has time off from work etc. At first he was not interested in dating anyone with a child but he slowly became interactive with my 4 year old son. Things were great! We were really into each other but I’ve always felt that he was holding back on me. When i asked why he said that he is very attracted to me and he has to try with all inside him to not be sexual with me because he wants us to build something real, which i appreciated.

    Then, an incident occurred. There was a concert we were supposed to go to together and the plan busted because he had to work but he was going to come see me after work anyway. However, on the night his battery died and I could not get on to him. I called him 4 times that night and sent 2 messages. The next day when we spoke he said he got mad and went to the concert because when he got home to charge his phone and call me he saw my message. It read “hey trying to get on to u but not getting an answer. this has never happened before. i hope u r okay.” An hour later i sent another message asking if he was at the concert and couldn’t talk. Anyway, we had a long talk about it and i let him know how i felt and that i thought it was a juvenile response and it made me uncomfortable as i felt that my feelings were ignored. he owned up to it, apologised and tried to make it up to me over the next few days. Then, a picture surfaced on instagram of him at the concert holding two drinks and I found out he was hanging with this girl who I have been very suspect of. We spoke about her before and it was agreed that if he had to chill with her he would tell me. He didn’t, and I was angry and hurt. Before I confronted him about it I spoke to a friend who was also there with them and that got back to him before I had chance to talk. So eventually when we did talk he was upset and told me he was no longer interested in us going down an intimate path because he felt like he would not have peace. Thankfully we did not sleep together. Yet there was an emotional connection that was real, so we still stayed in contact a bit. He helped me pay my rent and make groceries etc but i still knew from the frequency of contact that he wasn’t as interested as before. Over the next few weeks things were pretty strained because I was not ready to accept the change and I acted desperate and needy. Still, he used to open up to me about things he would not tell anyone else like how he was feeling about his dad’s illness etc. Then his dad died about 2 weeks after and I confronted the girl at the funeral because she was at the house watching tv at 1 am while i was still there (and everyone else was gone!) and the next day he said he did not want anything more to do with me, and that she was only there because he asked her to stay in case I needed a drop home as I do not drive. We have not spoken since. It’s been 3 weeks. I messaged him yesterday to ask how he’s doing and he responded “im cool for the while” and i left it as that.

    Is this a situation I should just let go or is it possible to get him back?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 16, 2016 at 9:16 am

      HI Miss Dee,

      Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. It is possible to get him back. But it should be clear what the real score between the other girl and you is.

  11. Ella

    January 3, 2016 at 1:28 am

    Hi Chris, I read all your articles about getting back an ex, no contact rule etc..

    My ex and I have been together almost 2 years now, we were engaged and I’m 4 months pregnant. He keeps saying I act like a narcissist and I need help. When we’re together he is the perfect gentleman but then they’re times when he throws my past in my face. He keeps accusing me of cheating on him, which I admittedly did before in previous relationships, but I have NEVER cheated on him. I keep telling him I want to settle and commit to him and have a family. If he’s having so many doubts why get me pregnant….twice? We had a really bad breakup before this one and I physically attacked him causing him to get stitches. Every argument we have he gets his friends and parents involved, he’s a bit of a momma’ boy, her only son and she hates me. None of his family even knows I’m pregnant. When we’re in public he doesn’t hide me or anything, I’m even introduced as his fiancĂŠ, but as of late that has stopped too. We argue a lot now, he sneaks me to his apt claiming his landlord doesn’t want me there when I feel it’s his mom cause she lives across the street. Long story short, he’s been acting distant lately since our last fight, I hit him again, but he says he still wants a family with me and wants us to go to counseling. I didn’t get any contact from him for Christmas until I went back to work, as he works next door. I bought him new shoes for work and gave him money for lunch. We had another fight later that day and I told him to f*** off. We haven’t communicated since. Not even to wish Happy New Year. I don’t know what to do, as I’m pregnant. I’m trying the NC rule but I think our relationship might be too far gone. What do you think?

    1. EBR Team Member: Amor

      January 19, 2016 at 9:44 am

      Hi Ella,

      Congratulations on your incoming baby. That’s a blessing. If he knows you’re pregnant and he wants a family, there’s a good chance he’ll remain in contact but once you talk again, definitely go into counseling. Your relationship has gone toxic plus other people got involved too.

  12. BONNIE

    December 23, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Hi Chris,
    I have been reading article after article all over the internet, to learn the truth about breakups, texting to much the no contac thing and thank you so much for your honesty.
    I’m going to now teach that little bastard, a lesson armed with your teachings. LMAO No really thanks man
    Bonnie

  13. Tahlia

    December 23, 2015 at 8:52 am

    Hey Chris. Can I still apply the NC rule and succeed if I’ve told him its best we stay out of each other lives for now? About a month and a half after the break up (yesterday) I gave him an ultimatum and said that he can either have me romantically or we can’t talk anymore so I can get over him. He said that he won’t take me back (for various reason) and if its best for me then we won’t be friends or speak anymore. He said that to him I’m still his best friend and he still really cares for me, and I know he does. But he still seems adamant that we won’t ever be getting back together, he’s pretty much convinced himself that the relationship won’t work out, though I believe otherwise. Is there still a possibility that if we don’t speak for a month that he will start to miss me and become nostalgic about our relationship? We were together for 15 months and it was quite a serious relationship. Is it at all possible he could change his mind about the break up?

  14. Lynn ci

    December 22, 2015 at 3:30 am

    Dear Chris .. I’ve known this gur for over 16 yrs, he was married then girlfriend for 14yrs. We never had anything during this time except friendship. After his 14yr breakup he sought after me about 5mnth into his breakup. We lasted 6mnrhs with some drama – 1st mnth he couldn’t complete sex 4th mnth my mother passed we ended up breaking up 6mnrhd in. I asked to talk he sent me a text. I haven spoken to him since. He’s sent me 2 text within the first 2 wks. I never replied. It’s now been 20 dys no contact, I’ve been good! He has now stopped texting/calling I get that I was the rebound, I’m now saving face with the n/c. I’m cool letting it all go, If that’s where it needs to go but I’m interested in your thoughts. Do you think the n/c will work??

  15. Allie

    December 22, 2015 at 1:52 am

    Hi Chris, I really like your posts, i appreciate this article because it stopped me from sending a desperate email to my ex-fiancee. We broke up 2 months ago and in between, we’ve been in contact like 6 times but the last month I texted him just to see how he was doing and his response was I’m ok thanks you? And I told him I’m fine, just wondering have a nice evening and he didn’t reply, one day I was so upset that I decided to send him a long hurtful text and I told him how he never loved me and that I didn’t want a response from him, it has been 2 or 3 weeks and no contact… What should I do? 🙁

  16. Michelle

    December 10, 2015 at 10:16 pm

    Hi Chris,

    It’s been over a week since my ex hung up on me after an argument and blocked me on social media. I called his phone and it is still not blocked. It rings once then goes to vm. I am not good at all at the NC, and I’m afraid the damage has been done by all the texts to him. However, I can’t be sure if he has blocked me from text messages. Is it too late to go NC now and what are the chances he’ll contact me again?

  17. Charlotte Maison

    December 9, 2015 at 12:03 am

    I don´t want him back we were trying to be friends after the break up but he broke up with me and hurt me I was and still am in love with him I found unhealthy being friends he said when we broke it wasn´t our time and that he still loved me, I couldn´t take this fake friendship anymore where I had to act like I was doing great when in fact I was falling apart I wanted to do what´s best for me and move on with him on the way I couldn´t so….I sent him a letter telling him I did the best I could to save our relationship and I did my best to still be friends but I was still in love and that hurt too much that no matter how hard I try it´s hard and that in a long term being friends with an ex will be bad if in the future we end up dating other ppl I also wished him all the best and if he really has something important to tell me he can always reach my email I will answer him and I said thank you for all the memories but I had to let him go otherwise I won´t be able to move on…..I text him telling him to check his email box whenever he has the time that is very important to me and I was as honest as I could. ( btw he asked me to marry him and then broke up out of the blue imagine my pain being friends) i´ts been almost 2 months after the break up and 17 days after I sent him the letter and he hasn´t replied not even the text he didn´t even say ok, he never blocked me from any social media but I did block him , I don´t want him back I feel away better after I did this…..even tho it means losing him forever but I still feel it was rude he didn´t even say ok to the text message. What does it mean?

  18. Zaire

    December 7, 2015 at 5:18 am

    I’m doing the minimal nc method because we have kids together.my battery went dead in my car so my ex says I can use his car until I get mine fixed.should I use his car?i need it to get the kids to school.only thing is I have to ride in the car to drop him off.would this mess up my nc?fyi he knew about my battery because my dad told him so my ex came over to check my car

    1. Chris Seiter

      December 7, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      If you have no other choice but to then I supposed you should.

  19. Ellie

    December 5, 2015 at 9:15 am

    Hello there. I’m a 23 year old gal, and I previously dated my ex for almost 5 years. We got together after befriending during a church camp when we were 17 years old, and we were each other’s first serious relationship. Despite us being very young, we were very committed to each other, and we decided to get married after we graduate from university. I broke up with him in May last year, because we were fighting way too much, and I felt like we both needed to find ourselves. I can honestly say that we were perfect up until the three year mark, where my brother passed away, and I got into depression trying to take care of my mom. It was a very dark period, and I changed a lot during that time. Our relationship dynamic changed completely because I suddenly became needy (I was suicidal and depressed, whereas prior to that, I was an-all around independent person, and he admired that), and we were always fighting. I was partially at fault, because I failed to see it was my depression that prompted me to be so needy and get angry at him when I felt that he failed to make time for me. He felt that he was never good enough for me, and our fights were always nasty. Perhaps I did not notice it, but looking back, I think that he too was in some form of depression because of his job and failure to get into university (after he stopped his previous course), and he was seeking me to fill the hole inside of him as well. Somehow, this perfect relationship where we inspired and supported each other to become better people had turned into us hurting each other constantly, and we became the very thing that I hate the most – distant, bitter, and unwilling to change. It felt like I was my mom, and he, my dad – my worst nightmare. My parents’ marriage was hollow and they were always fighting while I grew up, and that was the one thing I vowed that would never happen in my marriage. I was scared and stressed out, and it was affecting my studies immensely, so I decided if we were hurting each other so much, maybe we should break up. I told him that we needed to grow up and find ourselves, and if it’s meant to be, we’ll get together again. We were both devastated, but we were pretty civil about it.

    After we broke up, we still contacted each other maybe every other week or so, and he’d always say how much he missed us and wanted us to be together. I said that I have no problem with us getting together, but we would need to find ourselves, communicate effectively, and make time for each other. I told him that we had fought so many times and broken up before, so I want to make sure that if we really do this, then we’d have to resolve our issues. As months wore on, he started drinking and smoking, and he begged me to be with him. Only God knows how much I want to run to him and to be with him again, but I don’t want us to get back together just for the sake of feeling a temporary satisfaction, only to fight unhealtily again, you know? After I told him that we’d need to get our attitude in check first, he’d always get hurt and create a bigger distance between us, instead of listening to what I had to say and remedying it. I always hoped that if we could just address this communication issue, we’ll be okay, but it seems like as the months and now year wear on, I’m not sure what we’re doing here anymore.

    You see, I was very happy with him when he started to pick up his act and he was starting to improve, and I too was getting the medication I need for my depression. Again, for me, if we can communicate effectively, control our temper, and make time for each other, then I would not mind, and he tried very hard to win my affection. We were talking more and more again, when suddenly, he said, “I want to do anything I can to win your heart”, and I automatically kissed him because I missed him so much, and I was moved by his gestures. We got back together unofficially for a few days. Then out of the blue, perhaps a week after we started spending more time again, he said that he was not sure about us, as he felt that he was very fragile, and although he still loved me, he felt like we were moving way too fast. I said that I totally understand, but suddenly he said that he doesn’t want me to take things the wrong way, that all of his efforts for the past few months were because he wanted to be a good friend. At that point, I was utterly pissed off, because he is simply backtracking all the words and actions he has done for the past year, and I felt that he was toying with my feelings. We contacted less after that, and he apologized for all his faults, and said that he will always love me. I took it as him saying that perhaps he didn’t want us to try any more, and I felt that I should let him go as well. But the thing is, whenever I post something, he’d get offended, and when I deactivated my fb because I had to study, he totally lost it and started saying things like “I wish I never met you, love is shit,” and a lot of things along those lines. I really don’t understand him.

    I’m trying to establish contact with him, because I genuinely care about him, but I don’t know if it’s possible any more. There are times I ask myself why I am doing this, but then remind myself that life is short, and if I knew I’d die tomorrow, I’d want to know that I loved while I can, and I’m grateful for the time that we had.

  20. A

    December 2, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Hi Chris,
    So I have been reading your site and I have been in many long term relationships but have never done any research until recently on breakups. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years and were planning on moving and starting a life together in the next couple years. We got into a huge fight while I was over intoxicated and I said some horrible things to him. He wanted to take a couple days and then he broke up with me. Very unexpected cause our relationship was almost perfect. The only issues we ever had were insecurities that came from past relationships. We haven’t spoken in three weeks and I sent him a letter telling him how we need to talk again. I know letters aren’t the best thing but I didn’t want to blow up his phone with messages and calls. Is it common for someone that is telling his friends that he still loves you and misses you to ignore you and never speak to you again? Since he hasn’t reached out to me, should I move on?

1 … 12 13 14 15 16 … 38

Popular posts

Recent posts

Post categories