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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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Post categories
Niccy
May 6, 2014 at 2:16 pm
Hi Chris
I’m still not sure if getting back with my ex is the smartest thing I could do but while I still love him and want him I’m going to try. and try hard. My question is about becoming the UG, it may sound stuck up but I in no way mean it that way, but I am genetically blessed, I work out I do a lot of things to look good on the outside and take pride in looking nice. While still in NC I’m implementing a lot of things to try and change things about myself, not being so clingy, not being freaked out and ridged if plans don’t turn out how they were supposed to etc. But the one thing I really want to change about myself is bitchyness. I don’t want to talk bad about the girl he is rebounding with (I am 100% sure its a rebound btw) I don’t know her, I don’t know what she is like, but I am finding it really difficult not to have these assumptions and talk shit about her. Am I heading in the right direction with the UG thing because that aspect of it I am finding really hard
admin
May 6, 2014 at 7:15 pm
Why don’t you think its the smartest thing?
Niccy
May 7, 2014 at 2:10 am
Because he has hurt me pretty badly in the past, he knows he hurt me really badly and the guilt of that is what caused him to end things with me. I do as a side note have to say that yes he did hurt me but I took my time and thought about it and forgave him and I didn’t bring those things up again, and that was last October so like 6 months ago
Still in love
April 21, 2014 at 10:58 pm
Sigh. It’s me again. I am tired of being the UG. I don’t want to run anymore. The attention from men (other than him) is almost depressing. I can’t do NC successfully. I still desire this man! Going out with other men is out for me. All that does is depress me because they are not him. Then of course, he makes sure to stay in FB contact. He asked why I was STILL single. I replied that I was focusing on me. He says great, then immediately asks if I miss him. A lot, I say. He asks more questions, but doesn’t say if he misses me right away. So I ask if he misses me and if he’s still single. He says yes, he misses me, but he’s not single. I ask who is he dating, and his answer let’s me know he is not dating anyone. We chat some more. THEN I SPILL MY GUTS and ask for his honest feelings. FB tattled that he saw my spilled guts. But he hasn’t answered positively or negatively. He proposed last year. Now what? Try NC again?
admin
April 22, 2014 at 4:46 pm
He proposed last year and you what? Turned him down?
Still in love
April 22, 2014 at 6:11 pm
I didn’t turn him down exactly. But I didn’t say yes or no. Out of fear, I said “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” So, I guess to him that meant no. It sucks. I got cold feet and I’m still paying for it.
Antonella
April 8, 2014 at 5:33 pm
He called me very angry and said that other day he remembered all the stuff he hated about me. I just said I’m sorry. He said that he stills care about me but he doesn’t want to be with me anymore because all that aspects of me and because he want to be alone and free.
admin
April 10, 2014 at 1:30 am
Have you tried anything on this site on him yet? NC rule? Anything?
Antonella
April 8, 2014 at 3:03 am
He delated me on Facebook. WHY? WTF!
admin
April 8, 2014 at 5:24 pm
Check out my guide on blocking to understand why.
Antonella
April 7, 2014 at 7:12 am
So I had to see my ex yesterday after like 10 days of NC because he insisted in give me my stuff back. I acted really animated and bubbly and even made him laugh, he did a comment about the brakeup in a humoristic way, I think I had the control of the situation and said goodbye first.
Now I have to see him again in a few days because I have to go to the office where he works. What should I do?
admin
April 7, 2014 at 5:15 pm
Keep it up. You are doing great. Do the same thing. Be super bubbly.
Sammy
March 31, 2014 at 12:51 pm
Hey Chris š
My boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me almost 12 days ago. The relationship was lovey and all was great. Until my ex decided to study abroad for a couple of years, a few months ago. And we were going to break it but we decided to stick together and try long distance and see what happens and all was great again. He was so attracted to me through most of the relationship looks and personality and whatnot and said he found me something very close to the ‘ungettable’ girl, which is all swell, FAST FORWARD to the last 2 months, my biggest and worst downfall reared it’s ugly head and I became more and more emotional each day. I started picking fights almost daily I admittedly was very bitter and used to argue and bicker alot which eventually drove him away, totally stopped being anything close to ungettable about a month ago. I screwed up pretty bad.
Now, I actually do wanna fix myself 1) My own good 2) To get him back. But I’m worried it’s too late for him, and that I put too much pressure on him that it’s irreversible.
Doesn’t help that he’s kind of stubborn and detaches his emotions from his decisions (As proven by how he didn’t text til now) Doesn’t help that he said I am not the one for him and he sees absolutely no future with me, and that if we can’t last a week without a fight, how would we last a lifetime.
He did also say that he forced himself out of love and now he really thinks long distance will NOT work.
In his defense, he had to deal with a lot of crazy.
But I still hope there’s a chance to fix things.
I know you’ve seen much more, but do I gotta ask, do you see any potential? š
He leaves in a a few months and I really am worried, so please do help me out
Thanks in advance,
You’re awesome š
Sammy
March 31, 2014 at 12:52 pm
seen much worse*
Antonella
March 28, 2014 at 12:10 am
My ex boyfriend and I were dating for a year and a half, he is 28 and I have 20. He broke up with me a week ago.
He is in a very very bad economic moment and very stressed out about.
Our overall relationship was pretty āin the downhill periodā but however we were still having a lot of laughter.
He told me he was breaking up with me because he need time to rearrange his things and his mind, he wants to be alone and not worry about anyone else than himself. Also he told me that he doesnāt love me anymore, not in the way that he used to in the beginning of the relationship, and also that he thinks that we donāt have anything in common anymore.
I tried to apply the NC rule bur I just couldnāt. I texted him the day after the brakeup telling him that I wanted my stuff back and he answered me very calmed and told me to wait a few days for him to return them. I answered with an OK.
The next day I called him crying and asked him if he still sure about his decision. He told me that he was very sure, even when the split wasnāt easy for him either and everything keep reminding of me. Maybe in a couple of years when he and I have grown and mature more we can be together.
The day after that I called him again and asked him the same and he told me that he needs to be alone for one or maybe two years and that he thinks that if he ever have a relationship again he doesnāt thinks it will be with me. (I know that it sound very obnoxious but I asked him AGAIN) and he told me that is the way he thinks now.
The next day I didnāt call him but yesterday I couldnāt resist and called him again he told me that he started in a new work and was very happy and felt very good alone, like he took away a weight off his shoulders. I asked if he miss me and he told me āyes, sometimesā, however he still very happy (he sounded quite annoyed).
And thatās all for now, I plan to follow the NC rule from now but I really wish to know your opinion about him and what do you believe he thinks. Im so sad right now!!
And Iām sorry for my English but it is not my origin language.
admin
March 28, 2014 at 4:36 pm
I definitely think NC is a smart idea.
Vanessa
March 26, 2014 at 1:55 pm
I’m not clingy, not needy, I never let guys spend for me, i dont ask for anything – i don’t give that thing if you know what i mean. I’m very romantic, sweet – always happy, joking, laughing around, serious when he has problems , cares to the highest extend, a very good listener, not UGLY but not perfect BEAUTIFUL. I’m not FAT, NOT SELFISH! not OVER EMOTIONAL. Acts STRONG – VERY UNDERSTANDING, CONSIDERATE , VERY SUPPORTIVE – IMAGINATIVE . VERY HONEST, DIRECT AND SINCERE. DO NOT GET EASILY JEALOUS. IS NOT CHILDISH, mature in handling RELATIONSHIPS. CONFIDENCE – CHECK! Demand only sometimes but only time and love.
(ALL THESE ARE MY ATTITUDES towards RELATIONSHIPS but I STILL END UP WITH CHEATERS!)
What did i do wrong CHRIS ? ? !WHAT DOES A GUY REALLY WANTS ? this is crazy…
admin
March 26, 2014 at 5:55 pm
You are doing nothing wrong. THEY are the problem.
Their issues aren’t a reflection of you.
Vanessa
March 27, 2014 at 2:21 am
Your right Chris. Your simply the best and amazing, it’s really hard to find good guys these days. š
admin
March 27, 2014 at 11:52 pm
Wow thanks!
Vanessa
March 26, 2014 at 1:57 pm
and ALSO I DRESS WELL, fresh smelling, flips the hair thing – always SMILING. and these GUYS STILL CHEATS ON ME ? I NEVER FORGIVE THAT.
Help Please :(
March 19, 2014 at 4:05 am
If I ignore my ex boyfriendās text message after a few months of no contact will he try again to contact me? Iām confused why he texted me after 2 months of not seeing/talking to him, and Iām so afraid by ignoring him that I ruined any chance of restoration.
Thanks so much! Youāre the best!! Best Ex Advice out there! (And believe me I’ve looked at it all)
admin
March 20, 2014 at 6:08 pm
Aww thanks!
That is what I am going for. To be the best in my field.
Yes if you ignore he will generally try to contact you again.
Help Please
March 25, 2014 at 6:01 am
Thank you so much for the reply!! That’s good to hear he will generally try to contact me again after I ignored his attempt after a few months of no contact. Is there an average time frame he will wait to contact me again? Its been a little over 2 weeks as of now.
Also his birthday is Saturday, should I send him a text or just “ignore” his birthday? I’m not sure which approach is the best to get him back.
You are great Chris! If You ever need a testimonial or anything I would be more than happy to write something!!!
Taryn
March 6, 2014 at 4:16 pm
I believe I am becoming an ungettable girl. My confidence has boosted so much. I’m not conceded, but I’ve always had guys telling me how beautiful I am and how attractive they find me. I have been asked out even before my ex and I broke up. I am already in shape and already was going to the gym and getting looks. I’ve walked though the mall and had guys ask for my number.
That was before. But after reading about becoming an ungettable girl, I upped my status by doing more. Now I work out every other day, as opposed to once or twice a week (I have a fast metabolism and I’m tiny naturally ). I’ve been posting some gym pictures on instagram and Facebook, which has caused a few guys I know to flock to me more than before. My ex and I are long distant, and are not friends on social media right now. But I have a feeling that he has checked up on me and can see my progress.
I’ve also been doing more in general. I’ve gone to nice restaurants with my girlfriends and posted some pictures. I’ve gone to the movies and “checked in” on Facebook.
I’m trying to find a new and better job doing what I love! Graphic design. I’ve designed some greeting cards and posted them on Facebook that people love. I’ve been getting back into my hobby of drawing and posting it. I used to draw him pictures while he was in the Marine Corps. He love it.
Bottom line is, I am becoming an ungettable girl and I want him to see (when he checks up on me) that I am not sitting around, eating ice cream, getting fat and out of shape, moping.
I have a life and it is fun and I live it. That is the kind of woman he’s want to have. A strong godly woman who loves her life :]
Thank you Chris for your articles!
admin
March 7, 2014 at 6:41 am
This is my favorite article I have ever written.
It’s my favorite because of messages like these.
Loving the confidence! Loving it š
vangirl007
February 26, 2014 at 7:39 am
I did NC as instructed. I send him texed today but not same as the examples from the ebook. Itexed him bec my grandmother pass away.
no replies form him. Im hurting already and because of no response
Ally
February 21, 2014 at 8:04 am
I just wanted to say thank you for this post I reade everything and anything on the break up subject lately but there is something simple yet real and comforting about your website And ungettable girl is probably your best post. Funny often when you are an ungettable girl you don’t even know it. Also if you fall for someone too deep you might loose this quality and not realise it until …. you are reading the break up posts š
admin
February 21, 2014 at 6:25 pm
Hahaha you think this is my best post huh?
Well, the one I am working on now is pretty darn good too I think. It might rival this one.
Ange
February 17, 2014 at 8:28 am
Does the ungettable girl add her ex-boyfriend on facebook, or does she play hard to get and wait for him to add her?
He tried to add me when we broke up but I said no because it would make it harder – seeing pics of him with other girls.
But now I think having access to his life on facebook will make it easier for me to text him back… knowing what’s going on in his life.
admin
February 17, 2014 at 7:27 pm
In the grand scheme it doesn’t matter to be quite honest.
Sofia
February 8, 2014 at 10:46 pm
do guys dislike when a girl is aware of her good looks,or do they see it as arrogance? it is a turn on if she knows how attractive she is?
admin
February 9, 2014 at 4:51 am
I think they don’t like it when she is arrogant about it.
Quiet confidence is best. You know, someone who knows she is good looking but doesn’t feel the need to brag all the time about it.
Sofia
February 8, 2014 at 7:06 pm
your site is becoming my bible hahahah.
This is really interesting, while I know my looks are 9-10, it made me open my eyes that I need to work on my attitude during the NC period. I’ve lost a great part of my confidence during the last months/the end of my LRD. He made me feel so good in beginning that I’ve developed a sort of vicious circle: I’m sad because I want him back, contact him while being and emotional wreck, he pulls away even more, I get sadder and more desperate.
This made me realize that I’ve became withdrawn and lost my sparkle, even though I fear he may never talk to me again, I need to go back to be the person I was before I met him. Plus it will affect my looks as I’m having trouble sleeping/eating.
I’ll stick to the NC for my own sake
Shan
June 5, 2014 at 9:49 pm
You sound like me Sofia! Exactly same problem.
admin
February 9, 2014 at 4:48 am
Love it!
Getting back to the person he fell for in the beginning. Now THAT is what I am talking about.
Evie
February 8, 2014 at 12:49 pm
Hi,
I need your help. I went out with this guy for a year, we were madly in love. He had chased me for 3 years before we got together. I was the Ungettable girl. At 8 months we started arguing and we had a break but ended it after 3 days. He was always paranoid about me and other guys, and we always argued because of it. Then a day before my birthday he mentioned that things weren’t good between us. I told him to stop because it was my birthday tomorrow. Then two days after my birthday my grandfather died. I was devastated. Two days later he tells me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore, he wants to experience other people, (I was his first girlfriend) and I tell him I love him more than ever and that I need him & he makes me happy. I couldnāt take it and I cried and tried to walk away. He followed me, I tried to give back his necklace, but he refused to take it. He apologises for everything and says I didn’t mean it. I said to him that if he wants to end it do it now. He cried and I dropped everything and held him and told him I’m sorry. Two days later he ends it. I was hysterical for 4 days I couldn’t hold it together in front of anyone. Then we argued (and told each other how we feel) and 2 weeks afterwards we had a massive argument… it was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I needed to apologise. All I wanted to say was sorry but I ended up telling him how I feel and he told me he still loved me and I smiled for the first time in weeks. That night I call him up after talking to my best friend who seems very keen to help me move on, I asked him whatās going on between you two. He tried to change the subject but I stopped him, I told him if he ever cared about me heād stay away from my best friend. He said THATS NOT FAIR and I was crushed. Then he said we’ve been texting and I like her. He said I need to move on, I said I donāt want to because I still love you and he said I canāt do anything until you move on. I was heartbroken all over again. I said go for it but I wonāt forgive her. The next day I told him Iām over him and Iām looking at someone else (which isnāt true) and asked if we can just be friends. I’m so confused and I canāt stop talking to him and Iām scared because my best friend is prettier and sexier and nicer than me and sheās desperate to do something. I don’t know what to do because I still love him and I can’t stand to see him in a relationship with someone else but I see him every day so itās hard not to think or talk about/to him. Should I confront her, should I act cool? What should I say to him about the situation? Iāve already broken the NO CONTACT RULE. I’m worried I’ve blown my shot by looking desperate by telling him how I feel and can’t stop talking to him and I want him back but I’m scared if suddenly stop talking to him he’ll forget about us and if I don’t stop talking to him he’ll hate me. All I can think about is my best friend and my ex texting about how horny they are and flirting and saying how they canāt wait to do stuff and how annoying I am constantly texting him and how they both wish Iād get the message so they can do stuff. My whole world is upside down. I want to know what to say, how to act about the whole situation, how to make him regret breaking up with me and how to get him back.
I REALLY NEED YOUR HELP, PLEASE I DONāT WANT TO LOSE HIM FOREVER,
Sincerely, Evie
Evie
February 10, 2014 at 5:34 pm
Please help me out I broke out in tears today when he told me he was going on a date with my best friend. She hasn’t even talked to me about it she’s acting all innocent it’s so hard. Can’t take much more…
Shannon
March 14, 2014 at 2:46 pm
Honey, she isn’t your best friend. Simple.
Betty
January 30, 2014 at 6:55 pm
Hi Chris, how come you didn’t mention anything about the height?? Isn’t it important for men??
If a girl is very pretty, has an almost perfect body, is very big on personality but 5 feet 2 inches tall, wouldn’t that minify her points significantly??
A man once told me that a short woman is less of a person.
admin
January 31, 2014 at 6:31 pm
Actually hahaha I like shorter women. Not like 4 feet short but anywhere between 5’2″ or 5’5″ is perfect.
anonymous
January 28, 2014 at 5:37 am
This is interesting. I didn actually read this guide in such depth till now. Reminded me of how i met my ex. He used to always comeby my office and we’d exchange glances but never actually talked. For 4-5months it went on till he finally approached me and asked for my name! And i gave a short reply. And he searched me in facebook. And the rest is history. So it made sense to me, he had the day dream effect for 4-5months eyeing me almost every other day. When we first got to know each other, he even admitted that he rated me a 10 in looks even brought his friends over to my office just to point me out to them. and they all agreed, i’m a 10 in looks. (Sorry i’m not very modest hahaha)
Anyway my qns is, since things btwn me and him ended on a bad note, my ratings to him in terms of personality may have dropped low š if i do nc for the second time, what r the chances of him noticing me as an ungettable girl again? Do any of your ex girlfriends went frm being an ungettable girl, to and “easy” girl (after breakup, she went desperate on you) and then back to being ungettable?
admin
January 28, 2014 at 6:35 pm
A 10 in looks hahahahaha….
Personally, I think I am a solid 8 but my personality and commitment puts me over the top I think. (I’m not very modest either hahaha.)
The NC can help but obviously your best bet is to do some work to shift his paradigm on how he views your personality.
anonymous
January 29, 2014 at 3:43 pm
If men do not settle, and they want the best they can possibly get. Will it ever come to the point when they realise that their ex girlfriend was the best they ever had? i have a hunch that my ex boyfriend is back on the dating field in search for the perfect woman; probably thats why he doesn want to settle or commit just yet. What can i do to convince him that i am indeed the best lady for him? If he doesn even want to entertain my msgs and calls. And mind you. I was not a gnat the last convo we had. 3 short msgs i sent, in btwn i called him 5times. I took the hint that he just wasn interested to talk to me anymore. So i’m bck in nc.
I was thinking after nc, of sending a short video of me saying hi, (making use of my looks to my advantage. Hahaha) but will that be coming on too strong after nc?
M
December 24, 2013 at 7:27 am
Hi Chris,
Before anything else, Iād like to thank you for all the insight you have given us āclueless girlsā from all over the world. Iām not from the US, but the issues are apparently universal when it comes to women and their men. I chanced upon your website jus yesterday and Iāve been glued to it since because I have not found a more thorough and in-your-face-brutally-honest advice written by someone credible enough to dish out the sometimes painful truth. I suppose thatās my long way of saying āThanks!ā Haha.
Iāll try to keep my story short but I donāt know how because our story covers a few decades. Iāll map out the salient points so I donāt occupy to much space here. ļ
Thereās this guy Iāve known since we were kids. He was 11, I was 12. We werenāt close but my bestfriendās sister was his girlfriend back then and he used to hangout with us everyday after school while we waited for his gfās and his sisterās class to be over. Throughout the years, we bumped into each other in this or that party or school affair. We move around the same circles and we have many common friends and I know a few of his cousins, he knows my brother, my cousins, ex boyfriendsā¦you get the pic. I was never attracted to him although he was a very popular guy and he pretty much was a known player, but he told my bestfriend once that he wanted to try to court me. I wasnāt interested, so I just ignored it.
Fastforward to when we were in our twenties, he owned one of the most famous clubs in our country with a few business partners whom I also knew. I frequented the club, still was not attracted to him, he dated famous local models, beauty queens, actresses, that kind of thing yāknow? He, as youād guess, has a past. Heās the ābad boyā of our party scene society. Got many women pregnant, cheated on them and all that stuff that goes with his lifestyle. But he comes from a very old-fashioned conservative family and with me, he was always decent ā no sleaze.
Fastforwad to last year, saw him again when I was at his bar with my friends and his cousins. Itās been several years since we saw each other. In my true fashion, I didnt even notice he was there, so after walking past him a few times, he tapped me on the shoulder to say hello, and I was warm as always and we had this ābuddy hugā but I knew just by the way he was looking at me and holding me, he was attracted. Again, I was not. I let it go and enjoyed the night. Here is where it gets sticky: I see him again months after at his new bar. Thing is, things took a turn for I donāt know what. He offered to take me home, but first he asked me to join him for a drink in his other club, so I said ok bec I lived near there. He held my hand and that was it —electricity. Took me by surprise and it scared me. Problem was, I only have 2 drinks whenever I go out, that night it was a post bday celeb, so I had more. I told him I had to go bec I was feeling woozy, ran and left him on the dancefloor bec he wanted me to stay and he kept putting his arm (gently) around me stopping me from leaving. I just fled and he ran after me to take me home. Long story short, I did an Anastasia Steele and threw-up (asked him to pull over first of course). I know itās gross, but this is crucial to the story. I kept telling him sorry as I was bent over by the cardoor, he said, ā(My name), itās just me. How could you be embarrassed? It.s me!, (his name)ā¦ā Then he held my hair to keep it from getting soaked and he rubbed my back until I was done being gross. Haha. Then I asked for a tissue and he had none so he got my yucky sticky hands and he rubbed it with his own hands and on his jeans, he said,ā Iāll just wipe it for you.ā āHeās a keeper,ā I thought. We ended up sleeping together, but before we began, after we were kissing very slowly and gently (still not sleazy like he is with mot women),I told him, it was going to be the first and last time and that I never wanted it to happen again. Said this before we started. It was my first time to be with a guy in 10 years. I thought I was old enough, we were old friends, and I could just walk away from this after. I ran out of is condo as fast as I could when I woke up. I left him sleeping. I was a mess for two weeks after. He was the last guy I wanted to get with because of his past and reputation even if he treated me gently. He messaged me on FB after saying he did not get my number. I gave it.
Two weeks later, I go to his club, the sees me and hi s face lights up smiling from ear to hear, he leans over peck me on the lips and says, Iām so happy youāre here and he holds my hand. He is not like this. Women fawn over him. Even those models and actresses he dates. But I didnt trust his nature, so I told him harshly, āNo decent girl like me would take a guy like you seriously. Can you blame me? Look at how you treat women.ā He looked sad. Anyway, I had feelings for him, so we didnāt stop kissing. We fell asleep on the couch at his club after it closed. Then I found out that the night before, his gf just gave birth. I didnāt even know he had one. He didnāt say anything when I asked two weeks ago even when I asked. After that, I avoided him like a plague. Then we see each other again, and the chemistry is so strong, heās always kissing my hand, telling all our friends he likes me, that he was jealous of his friend that was flirting with me, accused me of flirting with his friends which I wasnātā¦ I told him he had no right to be possessive. He said, āBut I thought we had something.ā I said, āYou canāt have your cake and eat it too where Iām concerned.ā He even held my hand in front of his gf. I kept pushing him away verbally but it was obvious we were smitten. Everyone at the party scene hates me bec he has a baby and I seem like the one breaking up their relationship. I keep my distance, but I know he fell in love. We did. He would gather all our old friends and scoop for info about me, talk to my exes, people I used to date, ask around about me but he didnāt call me after I told him he couldnāt have his cake and eat it too. He was torn between his daughter and me is what I heard from common friends bec his gf threatens to take the baby away from him each time. He is SO IN LOVE with the baby that he is willing to do anything — his cousin told me.
Hereās where I messed up. Please know that Iāve no prob with NC. All of my attempts happen after 2-3, even 8months in between. But I think I messed up. I had my friend talk to him, but the timing was bad bec the gf was there watching him like a hawk. So, he tells my friend to tell me it was ācasual and friendlyā after I texted him an apology for being mean to him pushing him away and and telling him it really meant a lot to me. So basically, if I am following your drift here, I handed him over my power. He pushed me away. I left it at that for 8 months. We were FB friends so it was easy to see how he was trying to make it work with his gf. But every now and then he would post something about us or referring to us or a song. I resolved to let him as long as he was happy. But there were giveaways he wasnāt. He even asked advice from a very well respected actress here saying it is really me he likes but he doesnāt know what to do bec he wants to keep his baby. He took a 6 hour drive to a city to find me once. But the entire city, our circle of friends, are against me and him and are trying to make him stay with his gf for the baby and bec she is ok and she loves him. So, I let it be. Until it was getting too painful to see all their family pics together on trips and all and I decided to unfriend him on FB. I wrote and told him but no reply. That was Nov. 25th. Dec 7th he is hospitalized. Dec 17 heās in a coma for 4 days. I freaked out (internally). His life was hanging on a thread and there was nothing I could do. I couldnāt visit bec is gf and baby and everyone against us was there too. I had to suffer silently. I contacted his sister and cousin and sent my well wishes. I sent him a PM on FB and I thought on the 4th day of his coma, I should throw caution to the wind and tell him how I felt. See, coz the last time we were together was Sept and we were kissing all over his club like we invented it. Not sleazy, sweet kisses, he kept hugging me, telling me that he doesnāt know what to do with me, he canāt help himself, he would close his eyes and rub his face on the palm of my hands nonstop like a purring kitten, he even said ā(My name), I just gave everything up for you.ā But I ended the night when he took me home telling him I canāt do this anymore with him, not like this, that I was looking for the real thing, not this (I meant he had a kid and a live in gf) I didnāt want to be the other woman. Anyway, I broke all the rules now bec I thought he might die in a coma or after and I needed him to know how I felt. I told him that I just want him well and happy, told him no more partying, to eat well, less alco, etc then I said, āI never said it, but I do love you. Forget all my old school beliefs, I miss everything about you. But I want you to be happy whatever your choice is.ā
Sorry itās long. Almost DONE! It gets worseā¦. His gf was the one holding his phone while he was unconscious at the hospital and she tells me to stop harassing him, called me a lot of bad name. I learned she did not know the whole story and bec she was vile, I gave her the gist which I know hurt her. But sheās not a nice person. Sheās always insulting women in her Tweets and she is using their baby as leverage but she serves him to keep him and he is learning to appreciate it bec he is given to peer pressure. Iām not possessive, so if I saw that he was with a girl that was nice and worthy, Iād genuinely be happy for him. Itās happened to me before. The girl was great and so it was easy to let go. But this timeā¦itās different. The gf blocked me from his FB account and I found out she read this without him seeing it .Iām sure she deleted my messages and her FOUL responses. I donāt even know if he knows this and allowed it. Iām worried. So, now Iām trapped. I have no way of communicating with him. He came out of his coma 2 days ago. I wanted so much to visit but I did not. Iām not sure NC is the right moveā¦I donāt knowā¦itās pretty tragic, huh? But Iām sane even though the girl called me a pycho. Lol. All this, and right before Christmas! Iām ok, but I have to admit, it sucks bigtime. I love the guy, but I donāt know what to do next.
admin
December 24, 2013 at 7:30 pm
NC is the right move in my opinion.
M
December 25, 2013 at 4:39 am
Ok, that’s what I’m doing.I can go for months with NC, no problem. But I am wondering about men, do you guys prefer to settle for what is convenient but tolerable or really go for that girl you want?
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:50 pm
I can only speak for myself here.
I refuse to settle…. I want the best girl I can possibly get.
M
December 28, 2013 at 4:20 am
I suppose every guy has a different idea of what’s best for him. Best of luck to all of us!! Nothing wrong with shooting for the best! haha
M
December 25, 2013 at 4:46 am
I should add too that I’ve been an ungettable girl to some of the most eligible bachelors here for years. One of them even made me the heroine in an international novel. Just thought I had to inject that since I’m dealing here with a popular ungettable guy. Thanks for your time!
admin
December 26, 2013 at 5:50 pm
What is the books name? I want to see this haha.
Louisa
December 19, 2013 at 3:41 am
Chris – Firstly, thank you š
I commented on one of your posts a few months back in desparate need of your advice, and I’m happy to say it worked!
When we first broke up. I was an emotional wreck, tried the no contact rule but then breaking it within hours. This went on for a couple of weeks until I decided to cut all ties and block him out of my life completely. We’ve had no contact now for 8 weeks, and I can positively say it’s one of the best things I have ever done. Not only am I spending more time with friends and going out and making new ones, I’m actually happy! I’m not saying it was as easy as that! In the first few weeks I would go out with friends, and most of the nights would end with me in tears over my ex. But I’d spend the following week recovering, and go back out that weekend, tried again. Eventually it became easier, and I love it now!
During this time I have been able to look back at my relationship and clearly see it’s flaws. I was the one fighting for us the entire time, while he avoided any problem we had. Texting other girls for attention then letting me back in when he felt like it. It’s so clear now, whyyy did I put up with it? Haha.
I have managed to work on myself inside and out. I have become the ungettable girl – proudly! When we broke up I thought I was the problem, that no one else would want me. I don’t mean to brag, but I would be lying if I said at least 20 guys haven’t asked me out since I have been single. I haven’t gone out with any of them but it’s a nice feeling I must admit.
But guess what? My ex wants me back! I’m not even sure I want him back now, I guess the one thing I wanted more than anything was for him to regret ending us, and it seems he’s doing just that. Mission accomplished!
I’m not ready to be in another relationship right now, I’m enjoying my independence. But I’m happy you’ve helped me gain back the confidence I lost a few months ago. Add another success story to your list š
admin
December 19, 2013 at 7:33 pm
I am totally adding this!