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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
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desi
May 26, 2014 at 5:40 am
Hi Chris
I ran into my ex after a month and a half of no contact and we hugged and he said we should catch up soon. He texted the next day but both of us kept our replies short
(I didn’t want to look too anxious) and the conversation just kind of died out. Should I wait for him to text again or should I try to talk to him again?
Thanks so much
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:29 pm
Wait 2 days and then text him again.
Abi
May 26, 2014 at 4:15 am
Hey Chris,
I have 10 days left of no contact, made it the first 20! Woot woot! However, one of my ex and I’s mutual friends kept in touch with me for the first two weeks of no contact. I figured out that she was telling him everything we talked about. Do you think I should extend my no contact because of this? I feel like her telling him everything completely cancels out those first two weeks. I stopped communicating with her for the time being. He has yet to try to contact me. Also, I feel like I am not quite where I want to be to achieve the ungettable girl status. I was doing really well and felt really good until I got on Facebook today and started obsessing over my ex’s profile. I just deleted him as a friend so I would stop. Out of sight out of mind kind of thing. I am still angry and hurt about the whole thing. I feel like I need more time and space. I’m kinda down he hasn’t tried to talk to me yet but I do realize it’s only been three weeks. Some days I care and some days I don’t, I have been staying off social media for the most part, and spending lots of time with friends. Any suggestions? Should I extend my no contact?
Thank you so much,
Abi
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:29 pm
I have to say.
When I thought up the ungettable girl stuff I had no idea people would take to it so much. Its kind of awesome to see so many women like you wanting to achieve that status.
Don’t extend it. Tell me what makes you feel like you aren’t quite there to an UG yet?
Abi
May 27, 2014 at 10:07 pm
Thank you. I’m really trying my hardest to accept the break up and “get over him” like you suggest. But I feel like if I talked to him I’d just want to fight with him and that’s why I think I’m not there yet. I’m still very hurt and emotional about the breakup. Some days are better than others but I still feel like I need time to calm down. It also hurts me that it has almost been thirty days and he hasn’t tried to contact me. I know it’s dumb to say but I feel like he doesn’t even care or miss me. That being said I don’t think an UG would care what he thought or felt.
Abi
May 26, 2014 at 4:17 am
I meant I deleted my facebook completely not him as a friend. I just figured it was better if I dropped off the grid for a while.
Suzie
May 24, 2014 at 9:38 am
My boyfriend for 2.5 years recently broke up with me coz of financial reasons. We were already living together when he decided to move in with me the moment i found a job in the city. He explained that it was his first time dealing with the real world, meaning his first time out of his comfort zone. We were doing great until the past months came and i saw he was already having a hard time dealing with finances like rent, bills, and stuff. He begged to go home with him but i refused. Last month, when i resigned, he suggested that i should go home to my mom and rethink my career and decisions. A week after my short vacation, i surprised him without telling him that i was going back. He was really furious seeing me and wants me to go home again and rethink everything. He said i was another mouth to feed and that i was his problem and he never wants to see me again. Now im back to my hometown to my mom, and its a week since we had no contact. Actually, he did left a message to me saying if i was online and if i invited him to chat which i never did. I wished i replied to that message but said to myself ’twas for my own good. I became a recluse for the first few days but my friends saved me. I admit i really loved him i wanted to get back again but then i bumped on to your website and to my surprise, gotvhooked up on your articles. I can really relate on most of them especially this one since one coz i really felt awful, ugly and disgusting when he broke up with me. I pitied myself coz i thought i was the bad one. But thanks to you i had an eye opener. I’m still halfway on your articles hope i could find answers to my question why he left me and gave me up easily. Thanks!
admin
May 25, 2014 at 2:29 pm
I don’t get it.
What were the financial issues?
Suzie
May 25, 2014 at 4:21 pm
Like paying rent, doing the grocery, gas, etc, which is, according to him, his first time since he wasn’t doing any of this when he was still living with his mom. He’s used to not worrying about all of this way back. He also has a 5 year old daughter from his ex but is not with him. During the breakup, he said a lot of awful things, that it was my fault that he is having all of this problems, that i was the problem. He said he doesn’t want me anymore and out of his life so i needed to move out. Everyday im reading a different article from your site to console me coz i, even our friends are not convince of his reason of breaking up. We broke up May 14 but he angry texted me for another 2 days which i replied to clear my name then after that no more contact. His birthday is on May 30 and i was planning to surprise him before our breakup, but now, i’m thinking of not greeting him in any form.
admin
May 27, 2014 at 2:23 pm
Hi Suzie,
Really sorry abou tthis.
Your in NC right now correct?
Suzie
May 27, 2014 at 3:03 pm
Hi Chris,
Yup. The last text conversation we had was 2 days after we broke up last May 16. He dropped a chat on google hangouts middle of last week but i didn’t replied. I’m trying to fight my emotions that i missed him. My other friend whom i just told what had happened to us today said that if a guy falls out all of a sudden means he’s seeing someone. I’m already getting confused with people’s reactions but still cling on to your site. My other friends also advised me to track him of his whereabouts using this certain app. I dont want to but somehow im curious. I dont want to look paranoid and desperate. Another concern is i want to get all my stuff from our apartment and i had authorized him to get my last pay cheque from my previous company. I really want to move on with my life but the other part says to cling on.
admin
May 28, 2014 at 2:37 pm
You are allowed to break the NC rule to get your things.
Suzie
May 29, 2014 at 9:11 am
Hi Chris,
Texted him today about getting my stuff with a positive aura and all his replies were cold. It was a one-text-one-reply conversation but then i called him just to clear the air. He then said we were done for good. I guess I’m not going to get him anymore since he made the closure himself. And i think he is seeing somebody. Anyway, thank you for all the help and I’ll still continue to finish all your articles so that I could apply them in the future. (If ever there will be. 😉 You’ve been a great help and made a big contribution to me, and all the women’s perception on dealing with exes.
Kudos and keep it up!
Suzie
May 25, 2014 at 4:36 pm
I just crossed paths with her mom a while ago at the mall and she was pretty surprised when she saw me. She asked if her son, my ex, will be here and i told her he could not leave work. She then asked me when will i go back to the city, i lied and said maybe in a month. I had a feeling that her mom doesn’t know. Im not that close with her mom eversince last year when i had a miscarriage.
Suzie
May 25, 2014 at 2:21 am
Forgot to memtion that he had the best proposal last december and now everything’s gone.
MH
May 22, 2014 at 4:32 pm
I NEED HELP! back to NC. I asked him if can talk just to clear the air. He replied with: “No, we can’t and stop fucking texting. Don’t reply.”
ANY ANALYSIS??
admin
May 23, 2014 at 4:26 pm
Ya stop texting right now haha.
Brad
May 22, 2014 at 10:19 am
Hi
I had a big fight with my girlfriend and she wanted to break up. Things had been pretty tense between us before that. I told her to take some time off and take her decision only when she was able to think calmly and clearly. I then went into no contact for a month.She texted me after a 34 days.I talked very casually to her.like a friend.We talked for about a week after which i felt she was going cold so i went into no contact again for 2 weeks.
I have to leave town in a month’s time for my job.I want to make things clear between us.We haven’t even broken up ‘officially’. I also wanna tell her a few things for closure. I just don’t know how to start a conversation with her on this topic. I want to know from her very clearly if she wants to get back or should we just call it quits officially.
admin
May 22, 2014 at 4:08 pm
Hey Brad. Why don’t you hop on over to Ex Girlfriend Recovery and ask me a question there. You can type it into google and find it.
Chloe H
May 21, 2014 at 3:25 pm
Hi,
I was in a relationship with someone for 2 years and then they ended it because they were depressed and didn’t know what they wanted. 3 months after the break-up they came back asking for a second chance. Then in January of this year they said that they couldn’t be in a relationship because they were depressed again. So they asked if we could be friends and I said ok, but that was a bad idea. We met up over the weekend and had dinner and they said that they still couldn’t be in a relationship. However, we made out and I could tell they still had feelings for me. He got flushed when he first saw me and was watching me all night.
He is very hard on himself and doesn’t want to be in a relationship until their “head is straight”. We had a very intense connection and were best friends and extremely close. He said I was the closet person to him in the world.
I told him I was cutting him off and he said “so that’s it? You don’t even want to be friends?”. I got really angry and told him he ruined the relationship and to never speak to me again. We haven’t spoken since, but I do want to be with him. What do I do? Do we have a chance? Help!!! I can’t even picture being with someone else.
admin
May 22, 2014 at 3:41 pm
What is making him so depressed?
Chloe H
May 22, 2014 at 9:25 pm
Thanks for the response. He has a stressful job and has been struggling there the last year. He was recently demoted and has gained a little weight. He tends to shut down when he gets like this.
Esi
May 20, 2014 at 3:36 pm
My guy broke up with me.from all indications,he has a new girl.i still want him back and I have not contacted him for about a week.with the no can tact rule,can I talk to him when he calls and sends me text?
admin
May 21, 2014 at 2:15 pm
What makes you think he has a new girl?
Shelby
May 20, 2014 at 1:26 pm
Hey! So I’m 23, and was seeing this guy for almost a month now. We haven’t fought or anything up until this past weekend. We have great chemistry, it’s overwhelming. But anyways he decided to end things after saying “three days of barley talking to you, you question my every move all weekend it’s just too much.” After that he hasn’t been responsive. I’m unsure if the nc rule applies to me or what I could do instead. Help?!? Do you need more detail?
admin
May 21, 2014 at 2:10 pm
Are you broken up?
Shelby
May 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm
It’s only been one day since everything and I haven’t texted him today..I was going to schedule a time with him to sit and talk it out but I don’t want to mess this up, he’s perfect for me and I let my jealousy take over. Please help ASAP
Joanne
May 20, 2014 at 12:29 pm
I split up with my ex after i found out he was talking to someoneone else. We lived together. after 3 days of a few missed calls and texts On his part which I ignored. Today he text to say answer me one question please can we make it work. I replied no. Then he said i havent meet anyone else or done anything. I told him to delete my number. He replied with i think your confused i dont want you back, i just care about you. I didnt reply. I dont know what hes doing.
riya
May 20, 2014 at 4:29 am
I and my ex broke up 3 weeks ago… reason for break up was I had talked with his mom in anger…. after break up I pleaded in front of him but he didn’t reply n aftr that he blocked me on every social networking sites…. few days ago I saw tht he unblocked me on whatsapp… den I saw ur website n yest I blocked him on whatsapp…. my question is did I do right thing by blocking him????? plzz do reply….
Didi
May 20, 2014 at 3:30 am
My husband of 8 years and I drifted apart. He began an emotional affair with an ex who lives on another continent but still, much of his time was spent on her. We argued over this for months. Eventually other infidelities were revealed and we had a huge fight. He walked out and said I’d never hear or see him again. We have kids but he said he wants a divorce and to deal with kids through the courts. We were together 13 years.during this time I did everything from shopping, cooking, cleaning, clothes shopping, pay bills etc. Would NC work?
admin
May 20, 2014 at 9:18 pm
Did you read my ex husband section?
Didi
May 21, 2014 at 2:12 pm
No i didn’t. Where is it? We just split very recently. We have 2 kids. Today he separated all his finances. Got his own accounts and credit cards and has been chatting with other women.
Minnie
May 19, 2014 at 5:05 am
Hi Chris, I’m on 16th day of NC. My ex broke up with me because I don’t communicate & prioritize him. During these 15 days, I spent most of my time reading your articles, hanging out with friends, exercising and work.
I still cry occasionally at night thinking of night and wake up in the middle of the night having negative thoughts about us.
He has not contacted me and I don’t think he will because he is stubborn and will be on vacation for the next two weeks. I was on holiday last few days and I bought some gifts for him. I am planning to ask a favor from a friend to pass the gifts to him and also return the things he left at my house to him after he comes back from his vacation which will be our 30 days of NC, hoping that he will contact me first. But I am also preparing to contact him if he doesn’t.
However, I am not sure if I should be this or should I just contact him after 30 days NC without passing him the gifts and returning him his stuffs? I’m confused.
admin
May 20, 2014 at 9:08 pm
Just keep focusing on healing!
You are doing amazing. Keep on keeping on with that no contact rule.
Minnie
June 3, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Chris, I’ve just contacted my ex using Whatsapp as per your first contact guide. His first reply was “hey, what’s up”. After an hr, then I went on sending him the good & sweet times message. His reply was “ok. random”. I stopped replying him after that. Is this a positive, negative or neutral response?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:30 pm
Neutral
Minnie
June 12, 2014 at 11:07 pm
Chris, my ex and I are back in contact for the last 2 wks but not everyday. I feel that he doesn’t really wants to talk to me but just reply for the sake of politeness. He also sounded stress from his current job too because he told me it’s killing him. So that might be one of the reason for him to talk less? I’m trying to be more positive. I’m not sure if it’s time to ask him out yet. Could you please advise? His birthday is next week. Should I get him a gift?
Minnie
June 3, 2014 at 1:45 am
My 30 days NC ended yesterday. I don’t think I’m fully healed. I still feel sad but not as much as before. Now, just having the urge to want him back as soon as possible but I know I shouldn’t be showing neediness/desperation.
I’m having doubts on whether I should contact him today because I don’t feel I’m ready. Should I wait a few more days or just go for it?
admin
June 5, 2014 at 5:12 pm
Up to you completely.
Personally, I think its ok to contact him BUT not if you don’t feel right about it.
Violet
May 17, 2014 at 5:33 am
What if I broke up with my bf bc I was really hurt by him, and he said he wanted to be friends but I said maybe in like 5 years…but I didn’t mean it?. I was just angry in the moment. So I texted him after 18 days saying…sorry for cutting you off..,I want to be friends..and he hasn’t responded after a week. So I started no contact and it’s day 4 now. Does he hate me?, in scared he never wants to talk again 🙁
admin
May 20, 2014 at 8:41 pm
What did he do to hurt you?
Violet
May 21, 2014 at 2:03 am
I guess time after time he made me feel bad around other girls. I read your articles and realize that boyfriends are gonna check out other girls sometimes. But a lot of times I would be out with him and he would just stare at other girls for a long time. Or we would be watching a movie with nudity in it and he would be like “wow she is so beautiful. Like really wow. ” and I would get so mad inside but didn’t say Anything. Like I’m fine if you do that but not in front of me. Idk like when I first met him he had his favorite p**n websites saved and had all these nude pictures saved in his comp so I was like uhhh okay that.makes me uncomfortable. I know guys do this..but idk :/ everyone is making me feel bad for saying it hurt me but it did, and it wasn’t just one time it was a lot so the reason I broke up with him is because I found out he bought..BOUGHT a subscription to a p**n ( yes I’m censoring haha) website . Like you love it so much you pay for it.And I was just tired of feeling like I was competing for his attention. And I hate when people just tell me to have better self esteem and that none of it should bother me. I didn’t trust him at all because I felt like he would. Cheat on me because he was so into girls. Like. (He said he never would). But this was like obsessive. More than other guys and I would know because I have a brother and I know he does t have a secret file of girls…. I just wanted my bf to love me and not feel like I’m just another girl. I love him but I wanted him to be.more loyal I guess and treat me special 🙁
admin
May 21, 2014 at 2:34 pm
Yes, they will check out other girls sometimes but its usually very harmless. It only becomes an issue when you make it an issue.
veronica
May 17, 2014 at 2:18 am
i am using this NC method but my situation is rather unusual,first,my ex was not my bf,he is my coworker with whom we had sex regulary for last 6 weeks.I am married,live with my husband in same house but no sex for many month.So i was having affair with coworker and last monday he told me he doesnt love me and still cant forget his ex,and looks forward to be with her again.I freaked out and we told many really bad things to each other and he said all finished between us.I immediately decided use NC method to let him cool down and think.He offered me stay friends,but asked not to try get him back using it.I stopped calling or messaging by wassup,yet at work he keeps talking to me asking how things,sits next to me when free space available,etc.Yesterday,i was in my bus going home,and he took it though it wasnt his bus,kept asking if im doing ok,took my sunglasses off and made many compliments about my eyeshadows.I also noticed that he checks his wassup at times when we usually chatted. My friend advices me stop using NC and call him this weekend,do you think i should??
admin
May 20, 2014 at 8:39 pm
I think he is missing you especially if he is checking his whatsapp that much.
Anon
May 15, 2014 at 9:39 pm
How does NC work if you work together? He wants to be just friends and we’ve hung out since but at first he still liked me. Now he doesn’t but I want to try NC. Is it possible?
admin
May 20, 2014 at 5:47 pm
You may have to do some form of limited contact in this particular case.
Anon
May 21, 2014 at 7:30 pm
Do you have any basic guidelines for limited contact? I haven’t talked to him outside of work. We don’t always see each other at work so it does make no contact easier. Does the 30 day rule change in limited contact at all?
admin
May 22, 2014 at 3:33 pm
Ya… basically he has to initiate all the contact first.
MH
May 15, 2014 at 2:51 pm
Well, I texted him yesterday stating that I wish him only happiness. He responded yesterday in a positive way with “Ok, thank you”.
Does that mean anything? How long should I wait for the next text? (I dont want to push him away anymore.)
admin
May 20, 2014 at 5:27 pm
Sounds like he is just being difficult to me.
Clary
May 14, 2014 at 11:27 am
Hey chris,
I’ve been doing NC for three months now after my boyfriend of four years dumped me. Recently he’s asking one of our mutual friend how i am doing. He had also told our mutual friend that i was a good girlfriend and encouraged him to go for me. After we broke up he blocked me on all social media including Whatapp. Two weeks ago i found out that he has unblocked me on Whatsapp. I’ve tried sending him a text after two months of NC but i got no response from him. Also he’s reason for breaking up was because he has no more feelings for me and i was too clingy towards the end. I did NC after a month of begging and etc. I couldn’t believe that he moved on so fast afterall we’ve been through so much for the past four years. My question is, why is he asking about me only after three months of NC? And why did he asked our mutual friend to go for me since he knew i was a ‘good girlfriend’ to him? Has he moved on? Do i still stand a chance to win him back? Thank you so much in advance for taking your time to respond!!! I really need your insight on this
Nicole
May 13, 2014 at 6:30 pm
I’m not sure there was enough of a foundation for this to work for me. My “ex” is in the military and when we met he was temporarily stationed near me. At the time, he was under the impression he would be back and forth between his home base and where I am quite a bit. A few days after we first met he went back to his home base. We spoke on the phone and text almost every day. A month later I went out to visit him (his invitation and he pain for my ticket) and we spent an amazing weekend together. He was deployed for 5 months the following week. When we saw each other last we agreed to see each other when he got home and he was hoping he would get stationed out by me again. For the 5 months he was gone we emailed back and forth and I sent packages and card to help cheer him up and not feel so lonely. About a week before he came home I sent him an email with a picture of me and told him how excited I was to see him. The email I got back was him telling me that the craziest thing happened and he ran into his ex gf overseas and she is being stationed with him at his home base. She wants to try again and he feels he should at least try with her. It turns out he is no longer getting temporarily stationed by me either. He mentioned that I have been so amazing and sweet to him and he’s going to regret saying it, but our distance is too much. I responded with an email saying I was disappointed for me, but wished him luck, and let him know I supported him. That was a week ago.
Will this NC method still work even without that much of a relationship foundation to start with plus the distance (especially since there were times I didn’t hear from him for 3 weeks because he was out in the field)?
And will it still work if he is actually seeing someone else that he has history with? I read your other article about what guys are thinking, but I’m not sure he would even be wondering why I’m not contacting him if he’s busy with her and his job.
admin
May 14, 2014 at 3:56 pm
I think it would be less effective in your case…
Nicole
May 15, 2014 at 2:22 pm
Is there anything I can do? Is there anything that might make him want to reconnect with me?
Stacia
May 13, 2014 at 3:41 pm
Hi Chris,
Quick question…the ex and I only dated a few months. He ended it but kept in touch with me and we have remained friends, mostly through text, speaking nearly daily. We have both expressed that we have feelings for each other, but it doesn’t go beyond that. Five months after a breakup, will the NC rule work? Or, has too much time passed?
Thank you for all of this advice!!!!!
MH
May 12, 2014 at 7:22 pm
So, what suggestions do you have for a first text?????????
admin
May 13, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Have you read any of my guides on that?
MH
May 13, 2014 at 4:57 pm
Where are they?
admin
May 14, 2014 at 3:51 pm
All over the place. You might want to check out “how to get your ex boyfriend back Version 2.0”