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Ana
March 16, 2016 at 4:42 pm
Hi there! I’ve done my NC very well. It was right after break up, and he wrote me just once (it was 9 day), I didn’t answer. So after ending NC I didn’t write him yet, because I’m afraid he won’t write me back. He was the one who initiated our break up, and I promised that I won’t contact him and if he want to talk, I’ll keep the conversation going. So what you think, should I leave the message? Or I have to wait for his will to contact me?
Ana
March 17, 2016 at 6:44 pm
What should I text? “Remember that…” or something funny like “that dog looks like you”? I’m so scared!
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 5:15 am
Lol! if the dog really looks like him, go ahead! Hahaha! Just kidding! Think of interesting topics for him first or what’s current today that interests him.. But go with the funny texts as long as it doesn’t sound sarcastic
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 12:12 am
Hi Ana
It’s ok to initiate, he may have been waiting for it too because of his text during no contacy
Jess G.
March 16, 2016 at 10:31 am
I need some advice please!
Exboyfriend left me almost 2 mths ago. Just last week we went ahead with our trip to HK that we planned months back everything was great during the trip he treated me like his girlfriend theres spark between us and we have intimate moment felt like we are back together again but i know we are not.. Right after the trip we are back to square one as if nothing happen during the trip and he treated me as a friend again. That night when we came back i decided to give him a call i ask what are we he says for now he still think we cant work out.. I told him i cant treat as thou nothing happen and i cant be friends with him now he repected my decision. It has been 5 days since we last talk, i have removw him from social media and i had alot of thinking i tried to cut him off tried to move on but deep down i know i want him back i thought he will give it a thought too to let us work out he has been reading my blog but i have yet to update any. Just now i realise he has cut me off from social media too my friend show me what he posted on his twitter just last night he posted midnight thoughts then few hours ago he posted i live in the presents now.. What should i do.. Should i update somethg on my blog or talk to him or continue to ignore him.. How do i make him mine again..
Jess G
March 20, 2016 at 10:04 am
I have decided not to talk to him. I updated another blog post. An apology to him. In there i apologise to him on how i have hurt him n apologised with sincere and i hope he will consider for us to start over. Maybe he don wish to do so for now. Sometimes he is quite an indecisive person he might say this but act different. Like he says he wont something be soft hearted or he don care anymore then why is he still reading my blog and respond to it? I apologies because i know i need to now i wish i could stop thinking how he will think because its quite hurting to keep on thinking of the outcome but i know i cant help it.
Jess G
March 20, 2016 at 12:28 am
Well i have posted the blog and i saw his response on this twitter mu friend showed me.. He says he will not be soft hearted anymore he says i am hurt so does he. I just don get it. I donknow if i should have a talk with him instead.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 20, 2016 at 9:06 am
if you are, why and what are you going to say to him?
Jess G
March 18, 2016 at 9:48 am
This is actually the second time he broke up with me the first time i did use NC but he told me he did not think about us at all because he was focusing to move on and he has someone else in mind and the reason why he came back is because he says that i did or say something to convince him and i do not rmb what was it. I wanted to blog about my thoughts and feelings is because first its my blog its where i express my thoughts and i thought i would wanna do it for the last time and leave it to him whether or not he wants to come back. I’m still thinking if i should some friends are telling me to just do it some tells me not to. Im confused.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 19, 2016 at 2:21 pm
Yeah I understand.. You know if you’re open that you would want to leave it to him after you blog about your feelings go ahead.. at least, you’re being open minded
Jess G
March 17, 2016 at 11:31 am
Is it okay if i blog about my thoughts and feeling for the past few days. He might read it thou but i wanna let him know what i have been thinking but im afraid i will push him further.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 17, 2016 at 2:36 pm
Hmm..I don’t want to hold you back from expressing your thoughts but it’s not good if he will know what you feel, that would contradict the purpose of nc
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 10:21 pm
Hi Jess G,
if he cut you off in social media, it’s better to do nc since you already talked to him too.. It’s ok to update your blog while in nc too..that’s like posting in social media as well
LCK
March 15, 2016 at 9:03 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me after 4 months of relationship. We felt like knew each other already when we first met. First date was 5 hours. He told me he only loved once with a women although he has been with a lot of women. He felt like we are like married couple, that’s not the right feeling. He’s super busy with his business, so we only saw each other once a week. He did not talk/text much during the week. But everytime we were together, it was great. We never fighted or argued. We had amazing sex together and we are very compatible in many ways, even he admitted that I’m more compatible than any girls he had. We had sex right after the broke up. He texted me the day after to tell me that he’s thinking of me and hope I’m ok. I did respond but did not hear back from him for a week. I decided to not to contact but it’s hard. I called him and went to his place to meet him. He was so excited to see me and tell me he really misses me. he said he signed back on the dating site just because he’s bored and he saw me there. He asked me for dinner and drink. We had some drink and talk. He even told me I’m the best he can find. And I’m the only girl he liked in 3 years. He likes my humor and sex. But he still need to find the specific love feeling he had with the only one girl in his life. We had sex again (that’s 1.5 week after the breakup). He said he did not want to hurt me, because I want relationship. He sent me home the day after. Since then, I texted him something funny that we both liked. He also respond. But he never initiated anything. I feel really sad because we are really good for each other in a lot of ways. We both have the culture mix and speak two languages together. We like the same movies, music, humnor. and we are really in bed. I started no contact for a 1.5 weeks after saw him the last time. I decided to try the NC rule again. although his birthday is coming up. I just hope he did not already move on or meet someone else. I really think that’s something in his mind telling him the initial feeling he had with someone 10 years ago is the right feeling when he choose a girl, no matter how much we like each other, or compatible…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 16, 2016 at 8:03 pm
Hi Lck,
first you have to stop the sex if you’re committes to each other.. secind, if he didn’t feel the love with you but the sex is great, then that means he’s a nice guy because he’s not using you for sex.He broke up with you so he won’t hurt you further. I think you need take things slow after nc.. build a connection as friends first.. get to know him more instead of jumping right in..
T
March 15, 2016 at 8:18 am
We had a good relationship but more recently we were arguing. He said he still loved me but it was affecting his happiness, so he needed to put that first. He ended it over a whatsapp message and I made it clear it wasn’t what I wanted but the arguments were draining. He said again I think it’s not working and I don’t think it will so after this I never replied as I had asked to speak to him on the phone to which he said no and he had nothing to say. I accepted his decision and started no contact. I started going out, seeing friends, going to the gym and being positive. I have some bad days but I am focusing on myself. About a week after we broke up it was his birthday and although I thought about him all day I didn’t contact. He unfollowed or unfriended me off of social media the same day and set himself to private. I was really upset as I thought he’d removed pictures of me. It’s been 12 days now and he is back to public so my pics reappeared. He text me yesterday saying ‘you’ve been getting with old men, that’s grim.” I never replied. My friend and her boyfriend invited me and my other girl friend to a mansion party to their friends house, an older man owns it but I would never get with anyone for money, at the moment getting with anyone else is not on my mind. The man did ask me on a date but I declined and said I wasn’t over my ex anyway. But my ex knows I am not impressed by money or status (he met
Me when I worked abroad as a hostess for celebrities and holiday makers) and it is something he really liked about me. It did upset me because I thought he knew me but I also didn’t reply because i felt I didn’t need to explain myself. He’s now blocked me, maybe because I never responded. I’m also annoyed because when I was with him he had his ex he was with years ago for a couple of months and she tried to cause trouble between us, for example she sent him a message one time insinuating I was naked on snapchat with a guy so he was really upset when I was just in my underwear dancing around – my friend had taken this snap without my knowledge when I was drunk and a few people advised they thought it was his ex who said I got with an old man, she even went to the trouble of taking videos on another phone in the past to send to him of me to try and cause a rift until I stated his ex couldn’t keep causing problems and he chose to block her, his decision but now it seems he’s unblocked her and she’s carried on. Thing is she has a boyfriend and is always saying how happy she is!! Can you explain his behaviour ? Did I do the right thing?
T
March 22, 2016 at 11:17 am
Hi, it’s coming up to three weeks now. I’ve been doing the no contact and I must say it works for me. I’m feeling better. I have down days but overall I’m positive. It’s helped me to heal a lot and I can definitely do the 30 days no problem, for myself if anything. Just a recap -A week later he unfollowed me off of social media (I have an app which tells me this) a couple of days later he texts me angry at me getting with other guys (I haven’t been) I didn’t respond to him. He then removed all our pic and set his to private, my friend told me. He then made it public again so one photo reappeared on my profile that I was tagged in which is now gone again. he then blocked me on Twitter, my app informed me! He’s always viewing my social media as well. I don’t understand what he’s doing. It’s been three weeks now, I’ve not deleted any pictures, said a bad word, blocked or contacted him in any form. I’m just trying to move on. If I’m honest it’s put me off him a lot as it’s quite hurtful but I’d love to know any thoughts or what he’s doing? X
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 31, 2016 at 6:03 am
Hi T,
sorry for the late reply. He might doing that to get your attention because he’s not used to being ignored.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 15, 2016 at 3:29 pm
You did the right thing! I think he’s just saying that to make you respond because he knows that will tick you off.
Wishful thinking
March 13, 2016 at 4:56 pm
I was with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I moved across the country to live with him and we have lived together for 9 months. We just got a dog together a couple months ago, moved into a new house, the works! Then he broke up with me out of the blue a few days ago telling me he wasn’t happy anymore and he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. I was completely blindsided because we had been fine, he wasn’t distant we would argue but they weren’t blow out fights and I was really working on some of the trust issues I had. Well we got into a small fight one morning and he blew up on me and cursed me out and broke up with me. I was completely devastated and cried to him for a day and a half to please take me back. He said maybe in 6 months of were both miserable we could try again but if we stayed on the path we were on that we would have ended 10x worse with no chance in the future. He told me he just wanted to work on himself, get his business up off the ground and get back into the gym. We had also been having a lot of money stress because we were both In between jobs at the same time. But within the last 2 months he has talked to me and my family about marriage, we just had an encredible Valentine’s Day, we’ve planned so much in the future and then out of no where BAM! This. I’ve been NC for 3 days so far and I was so heartbroken I packed what I could in my car and drove across the county and now I’m back home with my family. He knows I have to come back to get my stuff though too. I just don’t know what to think, I feel so lost. Do I stand a chance of getting him back?? Or am I holding onto false hope.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 14, 2016 at 3:51 pm
Hi Wishful Thinking,
Nothing that serious is just overnight of sudden. Either he made that decision out of the height of his emotions and he’s being stubborn or he has long been thinking about it.. Let’s hope you’re nc will make him realize it.. I know it can help him but of course I can’t guarantee that he will certainly realize it because of nc.. So, do your best to heal and improve yourself too, so, just keep in mind that you only have a month all for yourself before you try again to talk to him.. so make the most of it..
Lauren
March 11, 2016 at 8:11 am
Hello,
My boyfriend, now ex broke up with me 5 days ago. We are best friends and both still love each other. I lost it emotionaly and I’ve begged him to stay and cried and cried. He just keeps saying ‘sorry’ and ‘I have to go’.
I sent him an angry text telling him I wish I never met him etc… I was really mean.
Our relationship was amazing and ended with one fight… I guess my question is, before I start no contact, should I apologise and leave him with a positive memory of me? Or start NC on such bad terms?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 11, 2016 at 12:30 pm
Hi Lauren,
why would you apologize? is it because of the angry text or of the reason of the breakup?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 11, 2016 at 1:40 am
Hi Terra,
so you didn’t do nc right? But last week whem he called, I think he thoughy you don’t want to talk but he wants to… You can tey to initiate a text, check how each other is doing and then when everything is clear talk about the relationship..
Patty
March 10, 2016 at 2:18 pm
I am only on day 4 of no contact. It really stinks. I want to call him but I know if I do it will make him angry. He is the one that wanted space and I am the one that said no contact unless it is an emergency. I am now really regretting it but I think he really needs the time to get a grasp of what is in his head. What should I do when I really want to just pick up the phone and call him? We agreed he would call me on the first of April to set up a time to talk. I don’t know how I am going to get through the next 3 week. I have already made my schedule as full as I can to think about other things.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 11, 2016 at 12:14 am
Hi Patry,
think about how you would come across as needy.. think about being more in control and true to your word if you don’t call him
Michelle
March 8, 2016 at 10:39 pm
Hello,
I have a unique situation and I hope you can. Its confusing me because there are a few different factors at play. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your reply and to respect your time I will try to keep it as short as possible.
1. I had a great relationship with my boyfriend and was very happy. We talked about moving in together but it was too soon in my opinion. I wanted to move in together, but I had insecurities about it so I mentioned more than a few times maybe it wasn’t a good idea. I guess my less than positive attitude about it got to him and as soon as I decided that YES I would move in with him he tells me “maybe it’s not a good idea”. I was shocked because now the tables had turned on me. I went from being heavily pursued by him, to him telling me “maybe we should wait” and “I want to make sure we do this right, maybe it is too soon”.
2. In hindsight I understand that maybe these were normal and legit concerns he had. BUT in my emotional female state all I heard was “I don’t want to move in with you”. What he said wasn’t that he didnt want to move in with me, it was that he was concerned it was a bad idea. I was so shocked that the tables had turned on me I began to keep rejected and thats why in my mind I took what he said and felt like it was rejection.
3. The next morning after he says he thinks it’s too soon to move in together I am feeling EXTREMELY insecure. I thought about what he said all night and my feelings amplified in the morning. I let the feeling to ahold of me so bad I acted irrationally and sent him a break up text. I was a complete B word to him. I told him “I can’t be in a relationship” and “don’t worry you’ll find someone”. As if that text wasn’t mean enough, I defriended him on facebook and instagram (yes I know, totally wrong of me) I have beat myself up enough over it believe me. I took it to the extreme and I know now that my reaction was a huge mistake and next time I am feeling rejection or over emotion in a situation like that I need to calm down and think things through.
3. After I send the break up text he was nice and told me he understands.
4. The next day I realize I went too far and I text him saying I was sorry for overacting. The truth is that I really love him and that he made me feel rejected and turned the tables on me. I didn’t send him a break up text because I wanted to break up with him. I sent him a break up text because I was feeling rejection from him changing his feelings on moving in together and in response to that rejection I overcompensated by rejected him more. Bottom line was I wanted it to go back to when he was the major pursuer in the relationship. Breaking up with him didn’t make him pursue me more. It made him hurt, and now he says he is afraid to get back together with me because he was so hurt by the feeling of rejection he is afraid I may hurt him again. Furthermore, he says he thinks I really meant it when I broke up with him. I have tried to explain to him that it was my insecurity and fear of being rejected first that drove me to overcompensate and reject him more. I told him I never wanted to break up and that I love him and never meant the text I sent. The break up text was a poorly thought out and over emotional response on my behalf with the goal of trying to make him go back to being the heavy pursuer and wanting me to move in with him.
5. Since he didn’t believe me and thought I really did mean it when I sent the break up text I jumped into “fix it” mode and sent a ton of text messages telling him I love him and I didn’t mean what I said. I told him I wanted to be together and I went to his place to talk. He genuinely seems hurt so I have told him time and again how sorry I am and how much I miss him and want to be with him. I have visited his place twice in the past week and we were intimate twice. Things are not going back to normal and he is not chasing me. I feel like he is so hurt he either doesn’t trust me or doesn’t want to be with him. At this point I don’t know. Which is was brings me to your website.
6. Since coming to your website I have started NC (two days now)
What category does he fall into per your description above? What do I do when he sends me a text? Any advice for me?
I feel VERY confused because I AM THE ONE who broke up with him and started this entire mess.
Please Help!!!
-Michelle
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 6:33 pm
Hi Michelle,
I think he was just hirt and it was his ego talking to you when you took back what you said.. pretty much the same reaction you had when the tables turned on you…
Give him time…it’s good you apologized..so for now..give him time, if he contacts for a serious talk.. break nc..and talk calmly.. if not continue nc and talk after it
Liz
March 8, 2016 at 9:58 pm
Hello. So I’m on day 14 of no contact. Upon entering into NC, my intentions were (and still are) to get over him… Because honestly I don’t think I could get him back. I think he has some serious commitment issues that have nothing to do with me. Part of me is still very curious if there would be any chance of reconciliation. After I saw him the last time (15 days ago) I decided that I didn’t want him to have power over me anymore in continuing with our friends with benefits scenario (after break up Jan. 24, 2016). So I cut off contact without officially telling him. I haven’t heard from him since, with the exception of him reaching out after 5 days to ask for his belongings back. He is definitely the “stubborn” type. I just don’t know what to do. Should I try to contact him again after 30 days? I highly doubt I will hear from him otherwise. The thing I am afraid of is… If I do reach out… I have a serious fear that things will not work out the way I hope they will. and I will be back to square one with my feelings regarding this break up. This has been the hardest break up I’ve had to go through. I just don’t think I could handle going through this heartache with him ALL over again. Any suggestions?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 9, 2016 at 6:19 pm
First, how have you been active in nc? Second, think about what to text when you’re in the last week.. and lastly.. you’re here to try.. so if he’s negative..that’s okay.. at least you can move on knowing you did what you can
Barbara
March 7, 2016 at 2:56 pm
Hi there,
I was in 1 1/2 year relationship with a man (38 years). Every time there were conflicts he just ignored them, not that there were too many.
One day, he gave again the silent treatment for the entire day, the day afterwards I planned to be away for the weekend. While I was away, he moved all his things out of the flat and left without a word and that was it. I still can’t believe it and have so many questions but no sign, I only sent a couple of messages and the last one let him know in an adult way that I find the way he’s ended the relationship immature in respectless. No sign from him now since 3 weeks. Not sure if the NC works in this case.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 1:51 pm
Hi Barbara,
I’m not sure it will work too but with his attitude, contacting him will do no good
Mar
March 7, 2016 at 11:19 am
What if I am done with the no contact rule and try to text him again. What if he asks why I did not contact him for a month or why I did not reply to his texts? Also, what if during the no contact rule he texts me if we can talk again or says sorry or asks to get back with me?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 1:28 pm
Hi Mar,
if he texts constantly to talk, for example he reached 7 times.. break nc and talk to him.. with the reason, it depends in how you broke up.. with unblocking, it’s better if you do it after nc
RSamy
March 4, 2016 at 9:17 pm
I tried online dating for the first time, and out of a number of men i’ve talked to, I met this amazing guy. He is soooo funny. He hunted me for a month day and night. He flirted. Most importantly, he was able to see through me without actually seeing me in person. I challenged him, and he liked it. He used to tell me that I was a cute person at heart and sometimes mysterious and rebellious… I like that.. I liked the fact that he was never intimidated by my character or career. He is secure. & encourages me to grow in my career…
I also like that he puts his family first; he cares for his mom, son, grandmom, cosines. They are all part of his life. He is very smart and challenging too & he knows a like him.
He asked me out several times ever since we met online, but every time something happens (on his part, and only once on mine). He knows I don’t like the virtual connection. He insisted that every time it was out of his hands, and I believed him. In fact, I went very blunt once telling him that I have this gut feeling that u don’t want to see me because every time something happens. He insisted that my feelings are baseless, and he wants to see me sooo bad.
6 weeks after we knew each other, he added me on facebook saying that “it is about time,” and we finally set the date, hour and place to meet. It looked serious this time. Then, he cancelled 30 minutes before our first date for something “urgent” that has to do with him mom. i was on my way to my car.
He cancelled with an sms, and i did not respond to that message. He was very very furious that I did not respond. I told him I have every right to be unhappy and disappointed, but I got nothing to say really, and that’s why i did not respond… Just went home disappointed & speechless. He said ok “fair enough.”
I thought he is keen on keeping the “us”; otherwise he won’t be so angry. If he does not care, there is no reason why he would he be so furious. Anyway, I swallowed it the last time too and decided not to talk about meeting again expecting that he would take the step.
Right after this incident, we talked like nothing happened for a day & then he disappeared for 2 days. I contacted him, but he said that he has been having a lousy day and apologized. He called me the following day, and he told me he has some troubles, but we laughed and things were fine. He even wanted to talk more and more, but I had things to do with my family.
Then, he disappeared for two days, and i checked on him to make sure he is fine without even asking how I am. The next day, he texted me, & he did not sound ok. (it seems he does have troubles), but he was super nice to me. He asked how I’m doing, flirted, and even said he wanted to visit one of my favorite restaurants that I recommended. He is going to tell me what to do with my sinus problems that he used to suffer before… We had nice conversations with future promises, but still i could sense something in his voice that was different. He was not happy, and I think it is due to the problems he has been going through.
Then, he disappeared for 6 days, and I went crazy. Hearing his voice and the text messages is like an opium. I want to hear his voice; i want to talk to him, i want to laugh with him or even argue. I don’t care. I want him close.
On the night of the 6th day, i sent him a message on FB checking on him, his problems and wondering if I could be of any help. It is both a funny & a serious supportive message.
I know I defied all the hunting/being hunted theory, but I wanted to know where I stand. I wanted to know if I could move on or wait for him. There were five options:
1- he is in real trouble, and he needs support. I would have felt so guilty had this been true and I haven’t been there for him
2- he is one of those people who- when in trouble- prefers no to involve others, in which case I should give him a space
3- he could be uncertain about “us” and therefore, he needs space & time
4- he was never serious about the relationship, and he chickens out every time he gets to know me more. (the same problem I had with my ex. )
5- he could be moving away from me but does not want to hurt me going blunt about it… He is dumping me even though he hasn’t seen me yet
I thought that i should not keep wondering. I have to roll the dice and take my chances. I need to find out. I hate game playing, ambiguities, and I love being straightforward, upfront and confrontational about everything. This is how I built my career, succeeded in my studies, organized family relations and friendships. Plus, 6 days is too much
But this I cannot handle.
I could see on facebook that he saw the message. FB also revealed that he checks his fb regularly… I could see him logging in and out, and he has not responded at all.
I was deeply hurt and decided to move away. I removed him from my facebook friends list and started the grief phase. Finally, after almost 3 days, he responded back to my earlier message calling me “sweet” and apologizing for disappearing and said that he is finally back to life. I’m not sure if he noticed that I unfriended him or not. I have not responded to his message yet (more than 24 hours now)…
Part of me wants him back, but really, I am so furious and I don’t know if he is playing games. Maybe he has taken me for granted because he knows I want to see him.
Weeks of talking and flirting and we haven’t seen each other yet. This is so abnormal. I understand that he might have problems, but i need to feel that he is making an effort and taking the time to see me, but instead he disappears.
Now, I have to finish what I started. I’m in the NC phase, but I pray that he calls to sort things out. So pathetic ..How long do you think i should wait (if wait at all)… I have a gut feeling that he is a decent man, but maybe he has taken me for granted. I don’t play the be-hunted games. If i am available, i am available to meet him. If I’m busy, i cannot see him. I’m very honest about it.. What really annoys me is that he is not taking any step forward nor is he taking any step forward. He is too lazy to make an effort, and i cannot do more… Now, he needs to get the sense of how furious I am…
Help 🙁
RSamy
March 7, 2016 at 9:15 am
Thank you for your insight.. You were absolutely right. In fact, we had a closure yesterday. It was such a relief, a painful one though. All of a sudden I see this pathetic self-centered soul naked before my eyes. He refuses to be faced with who he really is. I discovered that I MUST be nice and caring to him, and he should be able to choose when when to be considerate if all, and I’m not even allowed to feel bad about him ignoring me… I’m glad we haven’t met and we haven’t gone further with this. I’m in pain now but at lease I know where I stand and that I’m on the right track. This is what emotional abuse and manipulation feels like.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 8, 2016 at 1:30 pm
well, at least you’re on the path of moving on now
RSamy
March 4, 2016 at 9:23 pm
nor is he taking a step backward.. sorry
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 5, 2016 at 9:55 am
Hi Rsamy,
Most of the time, we are the same online compared in person.. he may have been the perfect virtual boyfriend but that’s the thing.. he doesn’t want to make it a reality.. He feeds you enough to keep you wanting more and holds back so you won’t get full..If you’re straightforward.. looks like he’s the opposite..
He’s constant avoidance of meeting up is a red flag.. let’s say he really does have problems..but if you were in his case, wouldn’t understand if he gets angry after you stood him up many times? His anger after you got angry about that is a way of control..
You’re smart.. I think if you read back again and assess his actions, you would notice he’s not serious
shameen
March 3, 2016 at 3:56 pm
Hi,
I wrote to you before, but my comment didn’t get posted.
I’ll try again.
I did a no contact for 3 months. At first he started by turning off chat on FB from me and then I blocked him off FB.
I knew I would run into him at an event and so I waited until then.
Prior to the start of the event we did see each other. He came over hugged me, offered to buy me a coffee and then we sat in a group with other people and had a conversation.
After the conversation it was time for the event to start. I was participating in the event. He sat next to a young lady
Then it was lunch. I think he deliberately waited to see where i would sit and then he sat somewhere else.
Afterward he came over to say goodbye and that it was nice to see me and to come back.
What do i do now. Please advise me.
EJ
March 1, 2016 at 9:34 pm
What do you say if he asks directly (after the NC is over) “why did you ignore me?”
EJ
March 3, 2016 at 4:17 am
Hi Amor, Do you have email I could send details to?
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 3, 2016 at 1:35 pm
Yep! You can send it to support@exboyfriendrecovery.com
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 2, 2016 at 3:45 pm
Hi Ej,
it depends on why you did nc and what was the situation before you did nc..
April
March 1, 2016 at 9:02 am
HI Amor rate/Chris/Admin, Before i stumbled to your page online. I had bought 2 other dating books online which i couldn’t relate to, since i bought the EX RECOVERY PRO sometimes in January 2015 i discarded all other books on dating as ”EX RECOVERY PRO is indeed “The holy grail” on getting your EX or distancing boyfriend back. lol. The NC worked and still works like Magic. From experience, NC works better in making my points than nagging or quarreling. I have known my BF for 3yrs now and we have been dating for 2yrs, although we never really break up, i have told him several times i want a breakup because of his attitude but he never wants a breakup. The major problem i have with him is, him not keeping to his words or leaving important things for dying minute. I have nagged, quarreled and talked to him nicely, he sometimes change for a week and them revert to old ways. Whenever i feel he is taking me for granted, i implement the NC and he comes back to his senses. Rather than improving myself, be confident, be happy and calm like the girl he once could do anything for, I realizes each time he comes back, because of the new power i feel i have over him, i act in some type of way like i nagging or demanding from him which makes him want to distant himself again. Now to my question, how often can one implement the NC rule, is 3rd time in the space of 14months too much? I am beginning to get tired of this circle, but i still love him. Im CURRENTLY IN day 4 of my 3rd NC, and im determine to drag this up to ninety days beacuse this time i feel sad and hurt as he didnt keep his promise on something he knows i need, and i interpret this to say he no longer cares. What if he contacts me before the Ninety days elapse, should i communicate with him? Should i tell him the reason for my NC when we reconcile or let it go? Please advice. Thank you.
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2016 at 4:28 pm
Hi April,
if it’s done consecutively, he may just see it as a pattern and wait it out til you’re done..
so, the answers to your questions..
nope don’t answer during nc, and yes talk about the reason in a calm way to sort it out..
Darcy
March 1, 2016 at 5:47 am
My ex boyfriend from high school came back into my life after 26 years. We had both been married divorced and experienced bad relationships along the way. We seemed to pick up right where the fire left us. Then he started to pull away and tell me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship of any kind. He said there wasn’t anyone else. But he made himself so busy and told me he needed to keep me at arms length. We reconnected in December just before the holidays and he kept telling me he was busy with work and family. He wouldn’t ever invite me to his home or to see his friends and family which I had once known. He claimed to talk about me a lot to them. It was all very confusing to me. I pulled back to give him space and he seemed to take more and more. We went from talking and texting and making plans to barely speaking by text. I started the NC 2-17-16 and haven’t heard a word since his text the day I decided to start this all.
Friends tell me to give up and walk away. But, my heart has kept this love for this man through all the years we kept each others photos and letters. I really thought this was a fairy tale to come true. Now I feel very disconnected and wonder if I will ever get him back in my life again….
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2016 at 4:03 pm
Hi Darcy,
sometimes all we have is the best memories and then people change or we really didn’t get to know them that much when we first met them… Right now, you’re matured and have gone through a lot in life and have responsibilities but those are not enough reasons to neglect a relationship because others are in the same situation and yet they make it work… So, for now take nc as a time for yourself, reflect and heal.. if you’ve done that and after it you feel the same, go ahead and try to initiate contact, so, you’ll see what will go on from there
Layka
February 29, 2016 at 3:17 am
My Ex Contacted me 5 days into NC, He called me a couple times, a lot of text messages. Saying he misses me, and that he wants to see me. But is very confused. We texted for a while and mostly it was him bringing up good memories. Like our first kiss, dates we had, sleepovers etc… I told him I would think about it. And didn’t text him afterwards. He then texted me an hour later saying that we have to be careful because he doesn’t want to play with my feelings. I never responded to him, but I just want to know what to do when he text me again. Or calls me, He usually calls me when I don’t reply to his messages. And Usually it’s always late at night…By the way this is the second time I attempted to apply NC. But I guess I will have to start again…
EBR Team Member: Amor
March 1, 2016 at 7:34 am
Hi Layka,
did he say he’s really willig to work it out? If so, let him.. let him ake the effort.. if texts.. repy minimally at first..engage but make it short..be the one to end the convo
Karen
February 28, 2016 at 4:10 pm
Hello,
So i was in this relationship with this guy for 2 years on and off and 4 years together with no breakups. A year and half living together. We recently broke up the 30th. Actually he broke it off and am still confused why. I havent spoken to him at all since that day. No social media interactions as well. And just yesterday he sent me an email asking for us to meet one on one. Asking that we both need closure, that was in the morning and i didnt respond. In the afternoon i get another email telling me that there is something wrong with our dogs and that he doesnt know what to do. To contact him please. I still havent done so. Of course am dying to talk to him. But in a way i guess am too hurt and i feel am not ready to talk to him. But i wonder what is he thinking? What can he do next? He is the one that broke off the relationship and he is asking for closure?
Thanks
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 29, 2016 at 6:28 am
Hi Karen,
maybe he wanted to tell you why he broke up with you..if you’re not ready, of course don’t talk to him yet
Sarah Michelle
February 27, 2016 at 8:10 pm
Hi,
I am not sure what to do, I only dated this guy for two months but I really liked him. He was always calling, texting telling me he was interested and I think he was but he said he thought I wasn’t because I wasn’t calling or texting him much. One time he was coming to see me but I cancelled because I was tired, he took that as me not being interested. One day he started pulling away, not calling as much or texting or even ignoring some of my messages. When I saterted calling more and texting him he said it didn’t feel right before he knew I wasn’t like that. I called him the day before Valentine’s day and we talked fine, he said we could see each other on Valentine’s at night. On Valentine’s I wish him a happy Valentine’s day in the morning and he ignored me the whole day until about 6pm he replied just saying hi, at that point I was mad I didn’t say anything and he hasn’t tried to contact me since. I know it was short, only two months but he was very special. At this point Idk if maybe he met someone else and I should move on or should I reach out to him? I haven’t contacted since Valentine’s day and he hasn’t tried contacting me either. Please advice, should I continue NC even though we were just dating for two months?
EBR Team Member: Amor
February 28, 2016 at 1:39 pm
But technically, you were not really together right? if you reach out now, it would like a friend just asking how things have been..