The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Daria

August 31, 2018 at 5:00 am

Hi Chris, I’ve been reading your articles and seeing some of your Youtube videos and I am so glad I came across you. My problem here is that I can’t really seem to identify my type of ex >< we were together for about 6 months, we had some disagreements of things along the way but he called it a break instead of a break up. He still wants to be friends and he still texts me almost daily.. He told me he would want to try rekindle things after a while but I am afraid he will forget his "promise". I haven't started the nc rule yet but i am planning to do so starting today. I am just worried he might think I am done with him.

Chris Seiter

August 31, 2018 at 2:28 pm

Hi Daria…glad to hear your are enjoying my website content! You can give him a heads up that you need some quiet time to heal, reflect, and focusing on being the best you given his need to take “a break”. Then begin NC but do it the way I teach as no contact is an active process. Probably best to pick up my Ebook (Pro) or “The No Contact Rule Book” so you are well grounded on how it works!

Dee

August 30, 2018 at 8:54 am

My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me over text message. I tried to call him/text to get more of an explanation. He never responded to any of it. He just said he didnt want to talk. I was the last one to send texts. So I started NC. However, I’m worried it will not work because he is the one who started ignoring me first by not responding to my texts. I dont think he is even aware I am doing NC on him. I feel like he is probably just relieved I’m not frantically texting. He doesnt seem to fit into any of the categories for how men react to NC. It has been 10 days of NC and I’m worried I will look stupid when again it is me making the first move to initiate contact. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

August 31, 2018 at 3:04 am

Hi Dee….it usually best to complete the whole period of NC. You won’t look stupid if you initiate. You will be the one in control of the time, tone, and tempo of the conversation. And if he does not respond or respond properly…then its his loss.

Elia

August 16, 2018 at 4:36 am

So my boyfriend recently broke up with me after 2 years together. He told me that he hadn’t been happy and that he felt like he was forced to be in the relationship. I didn’t really get a specific reason for the break-up, but it seemed like my family is what really drove the wedge between us. We had been “fighting” (I don’t think they were fights, but more like serious discussions) about how he felt like he hadn’t been happy and had felt like our relationship was over for quite some time & he had stop putting in the effort. He did say I was a good and wonderful gf and person, that he would always love me, but that you can love someone and not be with them. He did say how we had our issues and they were manageable, but that he couldn’t be my entire life and that my dad not liking him/giving approval was a big problem and something he couldn’t get over.

I’m currently on the 4th day and it’s such a struggle because I’m not even sure if he’s going to want to try again. I obviously think we still have a chance because of what it is he told me.

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2018 at 2:27 pm

Hi Elia….2 years does count for something and its not easy for a couple to end things after that much time invested. So having an ex recovery plan will help you. Believe in the process of No Contact. But also learn how to employ it correctly! There are ways you can not just focus on your own healing but also help reinforce your value so he notices. Go to my website home page and there you will find a lot of tools and solutions!

Irma

August 14, 2018 at 4:27 pm

So what happens after the 30 days? If I don’t hear from him then, does that mean I have to contact him?

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2018 at 2:57 pm

Hi Irma!

If you have not already done so, you should pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it will walk you through the whole process after NC. I talk about how you go about making the first initial contact such that you are in control of the process.

Susan

August 10, 2018 at 8:11 pm

My boyfriend and I dated for a year. During that time I tried to get him to go skydiving with me repeatedly, he always said no. He repeatedly stated he wasn’t an adrenalin junkie, that it would scare him, that it just wasn’t his thing. We had some issues with communication during the course of our relationship, which ultimately caused a breakup. He broke up with me, but actually I think it was a passive aggressive move to get me to beg him to stay. I did not, I let him walk out. He began dating someone 3 months after we broke up…and went skydiving with them within the first couple of weeks of dating them. She posted it on social media, tagged him, he liked it, I saw it, as we are still friends. What gives? Why would he do this? Is this most likely an intentional thing to hurt me? Or is this a not thinking of me at all and has moved on and suddenly become ok with skydiving? Any help you could give would be appreciated. Thanks
Jenny

August 10, 2018 at 3:20 pm

We’ve been together for 15 years and married for 7 years. He cheated on me 1.5 years ago and we’ve been struggling since then. I decided to forgive him but he cannot bear with my pain. He has left home 2 times and come back (about a month each time). He is gone now for the third time. He stopped talking to me since he left. Only responded a few of my messages. He played the angry victim in those interactions. I initiated NC about 4 weeks ago. I still want him back, he is very childish though 🙁 Any advice?
K

August 9, 2018 at 10:38 pm

Hi Chris thank you, you helped me a lot. I judt want to ask about my boyfriend of 6 years. He had a crush on his workmate. Basically, he did not tell me about it. I found out that they have a pet names already. I felt betrayed and we had a fight about it. I broke up with him and he did apologize and told me that maybe that is the right thing to do because he is not worth it. For the past 6 years we never had a major fight or problem and we can easily fix our issue. On the day we broke we reconciled and got back together, however he asked me to take things slow. I kept repeating it to his face about the girl and he told me that he cut all communication and avoid the girl. However he is different from before he said he is very guilty of what happened, and he felt terrible whenever he sees me. He asked for space last week, he said he want to fix his self and want to miss me again. I have been avoiding him for the last 5 days and he haven’t texted me. I’m confused, he love me so much before but now he can’t text or call me. Do we still have a chance to get back together? Or would he continue seeing the other girl?
Letisha

August 6, 2018 at 4:50 pm

So after a year and a half together my boyfriend and I decided to move in together because his dad’s place wasn’t ideal & we would argue alot being in his dad’s house was very unhygienic and it wasn’t clean so i went and got a rental for us & we moved in together everything was perfect for six weeks he would go to work and I would stay home and Play the perfect little housewife role. so everything was great until he told me that one of his best friends who he works everyday with was going to be having his 30th b.day party out of town 2hrs out of town on a farm there was just one problem he told me I couldn’t go because his friends girlfriend and I don’t like each other so I wasn’t allowed to attend. I became furious I told him that if he were to go to the party I would feel very betrayed so I gave him an ultimatum I told him to choose either to stay in a relationship with me and continue to live together or if he chose to go to his friends party that he would have to move out and we breakup. He had 2 days to think about it and he came home after work and said he was going to the party I got so angry and upset I told him to pack his things and leave I then left the house while he packed after 20 mins I drove back to the house to find him all packed up in his car I ran to the door of his car and told him I love him and that if his happiness meant going to a party then he should go I begged and pleaded him to come back inside but he said know and started driving out the driveway I then jumped in front of the car crying and begging him to stay he got angry because I wouldn’t move then I jumped on the back tray of the car it was a ute he was driving and we sped off down the road he then pulled over and forcefully removes me off the back of the ute he drove away and left me crying on the side of the road. I then walked home only to find the police in my driveway because a person driving past had witnessed the whole fight they had another set of cops around the corner they had pulled him over and arrested him because his licence was expired the cops who dealt with me issued a 72hr temporary violence restraining order against him so he couldn’t come near me but he wasn’t violent toward me it just looked really bad. That night I sent him 4 messages here is the First :
I know your going to blame me for everything that happened tonight including the cops I don’t know if you got arrested or if you’re even okay but I hope U r..I know ur angry & you will blame it all on me & I’m okay with that if it makes it easier on u that’s fine I’ll take all the blame..babe I put up one last fight tonight bcoz I loved you..I am sorry I acted so crazy & I would like you to know im very hurt by ur decision to choose a party over our relationship but it is what you chose & you’ve made very clear what’s immediately important to you. for what it’s worth & I mean this with all my heart I truly do hope you have the most amazing time at ur friends Party.I wish you well.o.x.

Here is the second: You wont fight for me or for us I was so so so stupid to think that even after all this time we were actually a family U & I living together as Proper Partners building a life together, I have always come second to your friend I was so stupid to believe I actually had a place in your life that I actually meant anything to you even after all this time..I was Soooo wrong I really couldn’t have been more wrong.
Here is the 3rd: I came back to the house last night to tell you that I loved you and to tell U that if going to that party meant ur happiness I was willing to accept it I know your going to say that I told you to leave yes I did through hurt and anger at the time but after I drove off & gave myself time to process it I also came back & asked you to stay in our home and talk with me but you chose not to stay regardless of what I was saying. I love you luke & I’m truly sorry for my poor reaction I should have controlled my emotions better that’s something I can work on for my self. I’m also very sorry for whatever happened with the cops it’s my fault..its hard cause ur so stubborn babe & I don’t know why I do stupid shit..

Here is the 4th: Knowing you better than anyone for almost 2yrs at this point I just know in my heart that even if you wanted to come home & work this out your to bloody stubborn to move & your stubborn ego won’t bring u knocking on my door..so it will remain forever 2 hearts that collided only to find that love lost in the winter of 2018.

After sending those txts I initiated no contact straight after it’s now been 14 days since it happened and I haven’t heard anything from him I miss him and love him soooo much I just feel so lost I don’t know how to eat sleep or barely breathe anymore please help me.
Meg

August 5, 2018 at 4:49 am

My boyfriend of 3.5 years moved out two months ago. Unsure of what he wanted. Afraid things would go back to the way they were (a fight here and there). My son is almost 5. He has been in my sons life since he was 1. He was coming and going over he last two months, saying he wanted to be around but couldn’t give me the answers I was looking for. He’s playing the victim, thinking I did him wrong, but also says things between us had been getting better. One day he wants to go to counseling, the next day he doesn’t. He spent all last weekend with us but never stayed the night. Then I get a text at 3 am saying we need to move on because things haven’t been good for a while.
I told him I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. He can’t keep coming and going at his convenience..

It’s been a week of no contact, when should I reach out? Advice?

Chris Seiter

August 5, 2018 at 6:46 pm

Hi Meg!

First of all, it is advantageous that you both have been together 3+ years. Yes, some guys can play victim. It seems prudent that you are employing no contact as that is what it may take to jar him into the reality of what he is actually suggesting. Most NC periods are 21-45 days. Its different for everyone. And since their is a child involved, you may want to make modifications (limited No Contact). Best to have an ex recovery plan that helps you with your recovery and helps you with getting him back if you settle in on that is what you ultimately want. Visit my home page for tools and resources that can help!

zoey

July 27, 2018 at 9:38 pm

Hi Chris
how are you? told you two days ago that my ex did not tell me the truth about where he is going,he told me that he is in UAE while he is in Canda and i asked you what suppose i do? should i respect his privacy??
there is sth else,yesterday and today while we are chatting,he is so much cold and just reply what i am asking,he was trying to not ignoring my messages but i felt he is not with me,do you think i stop chatting and give him some space?

Chris Seiter

July 28, 2018 at 4:42 am

Hi Zoey!

I think for now you let it rest, but eventually let it rest. The bigger question is do you have an ex recovery plan in place. If not, look into my ebooks or tap into the content on this site to help guide. It may very well be time to go into NC

Mona

May 13, 2018 at 3:41 am

Okay, Hi..my ex and I have been split since three months ago.. The first month i begged and so on.. The second month i did nc, i did a mistake by telling him i love him afterwards.. We were “Friends” the third month.. He often told me that he no longer has any feelings, but we met often and it seemed like he does have some left. Now i got to know that he is in a new relationship. I dont know since when but he didnt tell me even though we both agreed on doing so, if we found a new partner. He however, was acting extremely jealous when he found out I was wrtiting my childhood friend again that is into me and when we met he often tried to make me jealous. He also always asked me for my opinion and it was really important to him.. If i start no contact, will i still have a chance with him, or is it over for me? Oh and i think that i should mention that we slept together not long ago before he got into the relationship..

Chris Seiter

May 13, 2018 at 4:59 am

Hi Mona..thanks for dropping in! I see that you have been up and down the roller coaster and cycles of a breakup. His jealousy signs do suggest that there may be some unresolved feelings and notions that he is holding on to about you. Its unclear if this new relationship he is in has legs or if it will fall into the rebound category. It may turn out that his sense of your worth and value may change for the positive after he gets more involved in the other relationship. Or it could go the other way. If you wish to optimize your chances…there are things you can do. Certainly NC is one of them. But its what you do during and after the no contact period that matters a lot.You are probably looking for actionable solutions, right? Well, the good news is that I created various resources to help folks like yourself. Just go to my website’s Menu Section and click on “Products” link. You will learn there are lots a ways to better your situation! You don’t have to do thi by your lonesome!

Dee

May 3, 2018 at 12:53 am

Hello, what if I said he was from stubborn down. We have lived together for 3plus years, AND I have left before briefly. Many things involved but why do we keep doing this.? I do want to spend many years and life with him but he believes more is out there. ..midlife crisis? Really has no heart ? Any guidance, ps he is a narcissistic and vain man ..he named himself that …why , neither are healthy or something to be boastful of..maybe I’m wrong ..light n love

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 2:08 am

Hi Dee..You know…I think you should consider joining my Private Facebook Support Group (consist of about 1500 members…mostly women). There is so much going on in your life and I think you might benefit from the Group. There is lots of synergy and the ladies help each other. I do weekly live webcasts there also.

My sense is you need to create and let your emotions settle in and then ask yourself, do you really want to invest yourself in a guy who is vain, narcissistic and puts you second? Will he change…if not can you accept that. Those are important questions to explore.

Dee

May 3, 2018 at 12:44 am

Help

Chris Seiter

May 3, 2018 at 2:10 am

What’ going on Dee!
Dee

May 5, 2018 at 1:16 am

Hello, just trying to understand the silence from him on his end.then the communications that leave me wondering why? He has repeatedly stated he wants to retire, and needs a woman that will help..just frustrated.
Chris Seiter

May 5, 2018 at 3:58 am

Hi Dee….some behaviors are unexplained when we drill down to specific individuals. Probably best not to try and make sense of it right now. Perhaps later, there will be greater meaning. It’s that way with a lot of things relating to relationships. People are not always rational and logical.

Bobbi

April 25, 2018 at 3:22 pm

Hi! I dated my ex for a total of four years. We were doing fine a month ago when I went to see him (we are long distance.) After I saw him, he stopped texting me as often and we were fighting about it. I know he was unhappy at work. Suddenly, one day, he asks for a month break where I cannot contact him at all. I was confused and hurt and asked if we could talk about it instead. In the end, I ended up breaking up with him because, to be honest, he was being a dick. Now, he won’t talk to anyone (his friends, parents, me, etc.) and his mom (who I am very close with) says he is not doing anything he loves to do. Is there a chance of me getting him back?

Chris Seiter

April 25, 2018 at 11:42 pm

Hi Bobbi..Yes, I think there is upside here. First off, 4 years is a good amount of time for there to be some roots laid down and its not just easy to pull them all up and forget the person. So obviously, something is going on here. The truth of that will eventually come out. Meanwhile, you should consider implementing your own No Contact, but do it for yourself…your own healing and well being. Go pick up a copy of my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” as it is an epic, detail Companion Guide that will help all the way through this process and better your chances. Let me know how it goes Bobbi!

Jamie

April 24, 2018 at 1:34 pm

Hi! I dated my ex for 2.5 years and we’ve been doing NC for 8 days now (broke up with me 8 days ago) and I told him that the advice I give to friends when they break up is NC rule for at least 2 weeks. I told him I would take my advice and not message him.
The reason why he broke up with me is because he didn’t want to settle down, get married or have kids. We are both 22 years old and I didn’t ask for any of the settling down stuff. He’s a very independent person (only child, introvert) and doesn’t really open up to people, barely opened up to me too. So his reasoning was that he wanted freedom until he was ready to settle down. He said things like “I haven’t dated psycho, crazy, etc. yet” or “I didn’t know what love was so I never said it first” (probably said i love you 5 times a year) or “i still want you in my life, i care about you deeply and i will always want the best for you”. The crazy thing is, is that he told his parents 5 days after, and he still hasn’t told his friends (who are also my friends now) and it’s been more than a week. I don’t plan on contacting him EVER (until I feel like I’ve already moved on) so that I can return his belongings, even if it takes a year for me to get over. I am doing my best for the NC rule, I want him back like 20% but the other 80% of me just wants him to realise the mistake he made for letting me go. Is this the best thing to do? (doing NC rule when I’m ready to give back his belongings/waiting for him to reply but be very distant with replies)
Another thing about our relationship, we got along very well from the first moment we met, never fought because our interests lied in other places, and every time I saw his friends, they would tell me that I’m their no.1 female friend, I’m the coolest girlfriend out of their friendship group, I’m so easy-going and that they’re happy for my ex and I, or they can see the change in my ex, it makes him a happier person.

Chris Seiter

April 24, 2018 at 2:36 pm

Hi Jamie…the wounds of a break up can take some time to heal and the pain can cloud the mind as to what is best. So use the NC period to focus on “You” and get more centered about the things that are important to you. I usually recommend NC periods of 21-30 days. I have you picked up my ebook, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” yet? You will find it to be exceptionally comprehensive Companion Guide that will help you figure out what you want during this phase and if you do decide you wish to re-explore the relationship, it gives you advice on the best ways bring the two of you back together. You can learn more about this resource by going to my website Menu/Products link. Being together 2.5 years is a good amount of time, so I suspect there are more chapters to be written around this relationship.

B.J

April 13, 2018 at 12:53 am

Okay….so i just want to know if he will reach out soon or if hes out of my life for good. We dated officially 4 months he was very into me at the beginning. He talked about our future together and possibly forming a family with our individual kids. I thought it was too soon to talk about being together so seriously. I told him multiple times I wasn’t planing to live with him or give my daughter a stepfather. I feel like I kept pushing him away until I finally did. When I noticed he was gone I told him I appreciate him as a bf and I miss him but he only wants to be friends now but I refused . We stopped seeing each other two weeks but I broke down and contacted him. He asked if we could hang out and we ended up sleeping together. I thought we were back togethet but a couple days later he let me know I was just his friend. I became upset and left his house in the middleof the night. I text him the next day telling him i had left to avoid conflict but he didn’t respond. It’s been 6 days no contact now. Will he reach out again?

Chris Seiter

April 13, 2018 at 3:55 am

Hi BJ! Thanks for dropping by. Yes, relationships can get messy and confusing. You are right to not rush into things until you felt certain the future was cemented. It looks like his feelings got bruised and now yours is bruised. Perhaps having some space away form each for a spell is a good thing. It allows you both to rachet down the emotions and regain some perspective. Consider some of the resources I offer here. If you are looking for a comprehensive blueprint that can help see your way through all kinds of possibilities, just go to my Products Page (via website menu). Lots of resources there. The No Contact Rulebook might be a good fit for you if your are seeking to understand all facets of how it works.

Caity

April 9, 2018 at 11:14 pm

Hi there!

I had dated my ex for 3 months. We rushed. Both of us. Not just me. He said and did things genuinely that made me think and feel. He had honest feelings for me. We talked about the future. Both of us had come out of pretty disgusting relationships before meeting one another. But while together, it was genuine, pure, blissful happiness with one another. We balanced each other. He was my backbone. I was his soft heart. He told me first that he loved me.

He said this line while breaking up with me “i really like you, and there’s no one else id rather spend my time with”

Im devastated. I want him back. I want things to go slower the next time around. Currently on day 3 of No Contact. I struggle at times. Others, i prevail and encourage myself. Chris, I havent wanted someone in my life so much before. Im confused by his words. I feel he just wants time away from me to see if he actually felt the way he did.

Humbly seeking your wise words and advice.

Caity

Chris Seiter

April 11, 2018 at 12:13 am

Hi Caity! I know it can be confusing when you are in the midst of a breakup. You should take a look at a book I wrote called, Ex Recovery Pro. In it I offer a blueprint on all the things you should consider and do. You can learn more about it in my website’s Menu Section under “Products”. It may help you with the path you should take.

Jelly

April 6, 2018 at 5:50 pm

Hi. I was with my ex for about a year. Towards the end we started arguing a lot because of his ex girlfriend that suddenly appeared and contacted him often. I was really insecure but he didnt really mind her. Anyway, we were happy before that and we had great memories. But in the moment she was too much to handle and his actions just seemed wrong to me (he said it was my problem and he didnt think of it as ours) so i broke up.. I regretted it immediately. I begged and asked for a chance way too much. I probably pushed him away even further by doing that. We were in contact for about another month, when we decided to end it, because he didnt feel attracted “for now”, which he ephasized. He also only took one picture of us down but explained that its only in his archive. I started NC and am on day 18, which was hard but i pulled it through and somehow managed to be happy again and gain new selflove. I know i shouldnt, but sometimes i check his social media.. He puts songs in his captions that are about love, wanting someone back and all that. However, he didnt contact me and I am not planning on doing so as well until NC ends. He had his last days in school (before finals)and he kept staring at me like a lost puppy everytime i was near him. I didnt talk to him and kept being happy with my friends. He usually is really shy and awkward around people, but he never was around me. I dont understand why he doesnt contact me directly but keeps hinting at things over social media. Maybe he doesnt know how i feel because he basically turned me down after all the begging? I could just go on, but i know that i want to be with him because i love him and not because im lonely. The breakup has worn off for me and the negative emotions disappeared. I am just really confused by his behaviour.. does he want me to contact him first?(which I would do after NC if nothing comes from him)

loubelle

April 10, 2018 at 10:54 pm

Do not contact him. He should never be entertaining an ex and it was up to him to put her straight asap, im sure if you were back in touch with one of your exes whilst you were together he would not have been happy?. same goes. He is after validation from other women and that is a no go. Only validation he should have needed was form you. Let him contact you. If only then, it is on condition he does not keep in touch with exes else there is no relationship with you. Go find a man worthy who is not craving after other womens attention whilst attached (had it myself for 5 years, him going out up with new friend single women and staying in touch with exes) . i do not do attention seeking men anymore. They grow up or F.O. An ex is an ex for a reason and it should stay in the past. Please do not contact him. delete and block everything including social media so he cannot contact you. Believe me if he really loved you he will find a way through all of that blocking and deleting him, even if through a letter or turning up at your door. I knew my ex of 5 years never cared that much because he never chased me and it was him who did all the ‘unfaithful’ things in the relationship. Most men are lazy and want it easy and want women who are easy to get where they do not have to work at it, sadly some women give too easily.These men are not that special. there are more special out there. No contact and no backsliding. Put your foot down. no exes. eu8Ag
Jennifer Seiter

April 7, 2018 at 3:10 am

I am so happy you have self love again!! That is so important in this process. If he’s shy he’s probably afraid of a negative reaction from you. You will probably do great with your first text.
loubelle

April 10, 2018 at 11:00 pm

tbh jennifer he deserves that confrontation and should man up, shy my backside, he isnt shy enough to be talking to his ex however not communicating with OP. If OP ‘HAS’ to text him if it was me it would be to let him go and explain she is going no contact as she cannot be with anyone where they are back in touch with exes whilst with her. It is emotional abuse shy or not. It is hurtful to OP and disrespectful of OP ex to treat her that way. I also would not trust a man who was talking to his ex half way through our realtionship, very dubious, i mean why not from the start.He wants his cake and eat it.

Leanne

April 2, 2018 at 8:16 pm

Hi. I was with my ex for a year, and we mainly had great times and agreed we had never loved anyone else the way we loved each other. But I took him for granted and became moody, making nasty comments that I didn’t even mean once we moved in together a couple of months ago. This caused a couple of arguments but he would always say he was never going anywhere because he loves me. Now he has decided to move out, blocked me on social media and taken down all of our photos. And told me it is over for good now and there is nothing I can do to change his decision. I realise I was wrong for making him feel unappreciated and I want to fix this. I didn’t treat him bad all the time, I made dinners, lunches everyday and told him how much I love him and bought him nice surprises too. Do you think the NC rule could help me? I love him more than anything and I don’t want to lose him

loubelle

April 10, 2018 at 11:09 pm

no contact. tbh after a couple of arguments he said he wasnt going anywhere but then did? he sounds like he has played you and is playing you. why were you nasty? did he say or do anything before that for you to react? my ex played the wounded soldier act and the pity me woe me act and after i have gone no contact for 10 weeks i realised he played the game very well, it was him all along!!! i also cooked him three course meals, looked after him, spoiled him, my only negative reactions were through his actions! If he wants you he will come back even if you go complete no contact, he will find a way, if he does not he didnt care that much. Make sure and have a good think that if he made you feel it was all your fault and none his, it takes two to tango do not take all the blame. He walked away when he had promised he wouldnt only after 2 arguments. not a keeper in my opinion.
Chris Seiter

April 3, 2018 at 2:09 am

I absolutely think the NC rule can help!

Che

March 25, 2018 at 6:02 pm

Hi!! We’re just dating for almost 3 months. We had a lot of disagreements which turned out to be disaster. I said something that hurt his feelings but i had a reason because he didn’t do an effort for us to be okay i usually approach him by going to his place. I said something like this “you easily got me thats why you took advantage of me so you can do whatever you want” then he said ” i cant be with someone who sees me like that when i know im not like that” because i was hurt and i felt i was the only one working on our relationship. And now i dont know how to change his mind i think it’s really decided. What should i do?

loubelle

April 10, 2018 at 11:13 pm

he said what my ex always did when confronted with the truth, ‘i cant be with someone like that when i know im not like that’, its a ploy to get you to back off and drop the subject incase he finishes relationship, its emotionally controlling of him. go no contact and be wary of him nd his ‘threat’ because its a threat to control you so you do as he says and so u never question him through fear of losing the relationship, let him go.
Chris Seiter

April 3, 2018 at 1:18 am

So, basic question here.

Have you even attempted no contact?

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4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”