The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule- What Is He Thinking?

4,280 thoughts on “The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule”

Susan

October 30, 2018 at 3:26 am

Hi,
I’m going into Day 11 of NC. I was a text gnat the day I broke up with him (for texting his ex repeatedly and lying about it/hiding it), but started NC the very next day after being ignored by him. I have not heard anything from him since the day I sent him packing. We dated for just under a year and the relationship seemed to be amazing up until the last month (his ex texted him while we were out). Do you think he’ll reach out and/or is he feeling ANY remorse for doing that to me? I’m going strong with NC but also going crazy wondering what he is thinking.
Thanks!

Chris Seiter

October 31, 2018 at 12:22 am

Hi Susan….great job in killing off that text gnat persona. Its not unusual not to hear anything for awhile or at all. That is why you are in charge of this process if you are following the steps of my program. Guys sometimes take longer to get in touch with their feelings. The can spend a good deal of time in denial, but often when it hits them, its a wake up call.

But you can do things while on NC to help him see what he is missing out. Just pick up one my eBooks such as the 486 page resource (Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro) to get up to speed!

Kate

October 24, 2018 at 6:19 am

Hi Chris

Been seeing a guy for the past four months. Got into an argument recently. I have explained over the last four weeks I’ve felt undervalued/appreciated, but I put this across very firmly. He said he just has a lot on, but my “behaviours” in the context of how I word my upset pushes him away. Spoke to him over the phone today, instead of message. He got angry, defensive, more pushing away, put on a lot on my shoulders about his work, homelife stresses, and that my comments have led him to pull away and act distant – even saying in the heat of the moment he never wanted a relationship again with me and that this “ship has left the dock yard”. I tried to initiate a conversation to get him to initially rethink his comments as a ‘stage one’ type process to this. It didn’t go to plan. All reactions, defensive on his part and underconsidered.

Anyway, long story short, his defensiveness and pushing me away got too much. We decided to take space/time, and he also specifically requested this so that he could deal with his problems personally with work and other, and feelings towards me, and calm down on his own accord.

Giving him space now in way of no contact.

But dropped a message to explain as I tried on the phone before in that ‘stage one process’, that my comments towards his distancing comes from a place of upset/hurt because my needs here are not being met. So this needs to be addressed at some stage. But also we should address my comments portrayed as they are, that lead to his defensiveness/behaviours.

We left things to say, calmly, via message that we cared for each other, but time/space was the way to go for now.

Do you think he’ll come around and realise hes pushed away a great person (me) from his life? All I wanted was for him to appreciate me more… but by tackling these issues, without understanding the personal pressures he has, seem to only make things 100x worse.

I really care about this person considerably, and he has echoed the same previously. I don’t want to loose him or the connection we share. How do I go about tackling this now and in the future? Do you think no contact to allow heated emotions to subside will help matters and us to recharge?

Chris Seiter

October 25, 2018 at 4:23 am

Hi Kate!

Space can be a good thing. And as you mentioned, there will be areas you both will want to work on later. I think you can get more out of your efforts if you have an ex recovery plan. So take a look at my program which I call, “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” and all the other resources and tools I offer on my site!

Lily

October 23, 2018 at 5:04 am

Hi. My ex was trying to contact me but I was on NC so I did not respond to him and then two days after… he blocked me on Facebook! Did I make a mistake of not responding? Can I still get him back even if this happened?

Chris Seiter

October 24, 2018 at 3:27 am

Hi Lily!

Some guys will behave that way and block you. Don’t worry about it. He is being a bad boy. You focus on your ex recovery plan.

Confused

October 22, 2018 at 1:51 pm

Hi Chris,

Thank you for your amazing articles.

So 4 days into the NC I went to a game with a group of guy friends. I was the only girl but these really were just my friends. I happened to bump into him there and he tapped me on the shoulder and hugged me, asking how I was and what I was doing there as it was not something I usually do. I told him I was here with friends and we had come to watch the game. We’ve been dating for 4 years and it was SK extremely awkward and uncomfortable conversation although I pretended I was just fine but disappeared shortly after. On the day of our break up I was the girl you are not supposed to be. I cried, I begged, I pleaded and he just wasn’t having it. I was doing just fine with the NC until we bumped into each other. Later when I returned to the game, I had to contact one of my guy friends so he could send me my ticket to get into the stadium as I had abruptly disappeared and told them I’d meet them later. He came to get me but there was a security issue and while we were trying to sort that out, my ex aporeared and “saved the day”. I was very annoyed by this and figured that I’d already broken the no contact rule so I texted him and told him thank you but he didn’t need to “save me” anymore and that I was good and would continue to be.
He only saw the message hours later when the game had ended and replied asking where I was. When I ignored him he asked to see me the next day. We realized we were quite close to each other and he ended up coming to see me outside that same day because he needed to ask me something. We met up outside and he said at the game someone had seen that we weren’t together and when he told them that it was coz we had broken up, the person proceeded to tell him that it was a good thing as I had apparently cheated on him. So my ex was coming to find out if this was true. And no, it was definitely not true. I never cheated. Although I do find it weird that someone would come up with something like that. Anyway he went on about how he was struggling with the break up and how he also didn’t expect to see me and it was as if he was fishing to see if I was having a hard time too. I think he was surprised at the contrast from our last encounter to the one we were having as I was not emotional and had appeared to be having a good time. I told him I went out coz I Wanted to move on with my life and that if I’d known he’d have been there – I would have never have come. I asked if he believed the rumor and he said no and then we parted ways. An hour later he texted saying he had never felt like this about anyone else and that he knows he is giving me mixed signals and that he is sorry. I told him I didn’t know what he wanted me to say( I wasn’t going to tell him I miss him too and that I feel the same way) and he replied and said I didn’t need to say anything and that he was just thinking out loud and that he would keep it to himself next time. It’s been two days of NC again. What are your thoughts on his reaction?

Chris Seiter

October 24, 2018 at 3:40 am

Hi there Confused!

Let’s work on becoming less confused, Ok! Start with a solid plan that is about you. NC gets you there. Focus on your healing and feeling good about yourself and being the best you and meanwhile there are things you can do to reinforce your value. He has plenty of time to show his true colors.

Jenny

October 20, 2018 at 1:43 pm

Hi,
Thanks for this article. I’m 5 days into the NC. But before that I did very weird stuffs…I spammed him with texts, begging him so bad he blocked me on social media platforms…I even got my friend to talk to him. It’s not our first break up…When I came back to him the first time he was so happy to have me back, but I didn’t fix myself before getting back so we crashed. He complains of things like I want excess attention, I’m choking him, I’m making him go crazy, he needs time to fix himself,has a lot on his head, I’m stressing him, forcing conversations when he’s not in the mood, he needs me to get a job as his job alone cant suatain us, I’m not paying attention to his moods et al. We are in LDR by the way.

Well after few days of my craziness I started the NC. He hasn’t contacted me. I feel bad I choked him, I also feel angry he neglected me all those times I needed him. I was only trying to make us better, it was never my intention to pressurised him but to him that’s all I kept doing so he had to end it.

I understand NC is my best option as I don’t know what to say even if I call him, and I also don’t want to keep getting him angry with neediness. I really need encouragements and honest advises. I’m ready to face reality.

Please notify me for replies

Chris Seiter

October 22, 2018 at 4:10 am

Hi JennY!

I do think NC is the best medicine. To more fully understand the process, just pick up 485 page ebook “Ex Boyfriend Recovery Pro” or “The No Contact Rule Book” as those resources will walk you through the whole process during and after NC and all of the other angles you need to consider.

Christina

October 14, 2018 at 8:43 am

Hi Chris ,
I was with my ex boyfriend for 7 years. We broke up last year because he cheated. I cut him off and he was extremely depressed because I wouldn’t take him back and that it was the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life. Eventually we met up, and we kind of rekindled over this past month. We agreed to see where it would go and eventually he started acting distant so I confronted him and he said he isn’t ready to jump back into this right now. he said he was unsure about his feelings towards me and said he didn’t feel like the spark was there but also said he’d like to eventually try it again when he’s ready and happy with himself . He said he still loves me and that he doesn’t think this is the end for us. He wanted to still keep in touch but I told him I needed to distance myself. Im just feeling very confused as to where his head is at. I’m on day 2 of no contact . Do you think giving him space will bring him back? It’s frustrating that he hasn’t reached out to me.

Chris Seiter

October 14, 2018 at 9:22 pm

Hi Christina!

7 years is solid and has roots which plays to your favor in the long run if you want him back. Go get my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” or “Pro” so you understand fully all the elements of the NC process and implement them well. I know its frustrating, but in time you will look upon this whole period differently. Your healing and recovery is important to your overall success.

artistchick

October 8, 2018 at 6:24 pm

I am in NC for 10 days now and have been getting the hang of it but I miss him to death. He broke up with me because he said he wanted to be alone now (think because he lost his job, had a few other problems he was obviously going through and told me about) we dated for a short amount of time (4ish/5 months) but we did so much together (even went on a weekend getaway and talked about the future a lot together) and we connected on a deep level, he seemed extremely happy to be with me and told me all the time that he loved me so much…up until the week he lost his job and it was the same week he dumped me. He told me that “he had fun, take care all the best for you”
It was no hard feelings towards me he had but I was angry because he talked about so many things for the future and seemed so happy with me and then just, leaves.
Will he still miss me or want to talk to me even though he said take care? Like he made it sound like not even to talk anymore ever again 🙁

Chris Seiter

October 9, 2018 at 12:41 am

Hi there!

It seems some guys just want to be alone and retreat instead of having a real conversation. Sorry. It happens with us guys. You should be angry because how he acted and said was so very wrong, never mind how hard a time he might be having. But let your anger go and implement your ex recovery plan if you want him back

Msohio

October 7, 2018 at 8:19 am

Thanks Chris this was a very interesting article to read II many of the examples you gave made it to day for and by ex reached out to me however I’m unsure how to react and without thinking twice I was right there for him. He requested an invite to our home run fearfulBut I’m fearful of what’s to come next You asked if I would want this againTo be honest I really don’t know what it is I want. What I do know I want is not to be used and not to be someone’s pawn in a game. I know the old phrase goes they love is again but love is not a game no different than your religious beliefs morals and values you either have them or you don’t. So my question to you is I would like to know how do I move forward. Don’t wanna make anything easy but I also don’t want to make it difficult because I do love this person I’m more profoundly in love with this person than I thought I wasBut at the same time I still have Uncertainties of what it is I want and what I need. Thoughts are appreciated

Chris Seiter

October 7, 2018 at 10:09 pm

Hi Msohio!

We often don’t know what we want until we live some life. It seems the pragmatic thing for you to do is to employ no contact so you can find some healing and reflect on where you want to go with all this. If he is making you feel used, like his pawn, that is not a good thing. So take break from him and that is what no contact is about in one way. You should pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” or any of my other resources you can find on my site’s home page as its is full of advice and ways of looking at your personal recovery.

Leila

September 30, 2018 at 9:37 pm

Hi Chris,

My break up story is a bit complicated. I have been dating this guy for 9 months. He broke up with me at the point where he realized him and I could not make a family because we both come from different religious backgrounds, although he claimed he wanted me in his life. It has been one week already. I had to move back home – I live in another continent. I am not sure if he will contact me ever. He did ask about me when I flew home, precisely 6 days ago. He also insisted we stayed friends and I refused to engage in a friendship post-breakup since I am no masochist. I am tempted to take this NC seriously for a whole month and see how it will unfold. I disabled my facebook account and took down all my contacts, except for Whatsapp, where he can reach me. How effective do you think staying away will be?

Chris Seiter

October 1, 2018 at 3:22 am

Hi Leila!

I think NC is a good choice, but its important to understand how it works. So consider picking up my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as I cover this principle in great detail over 247 pages!

Alyssa

September 28, 2018 at 11:01 pm

Will NC still work even though the two of us agreed not to talk for a while? I was with him for 4 years and still found him unpredictable!

Chris Seiter

September 29, 2018 at 3:43 am

Hi Alyssa!

I think it would be very good medicine for your situation. Take a look at picking up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. Its a pretty deep dive into all things related to the NC principle. One needs to understand it fully in order to maximize their chances!

Mary Beth Holliday

September 23, 2018 at 9:38 pm

Hi Chris,
My ex and I got together in July and we were great for a month. Then he had to watch his daughter because her mom was out. Then he just started distancing himself until I had to break up with hi over 3 texts 3 weeks ago. It has broken my heart into a million pieces. And he’s been dating other women who are nothing like me. We are perfect together. His brother and sister like me for him. I’ve been doing the no contact for 3 weeks now and it is killing me, but little by little I am accepting it. Do you think there’s anyway I can get him back??

Chris Seiter

September 23, 2018 at 10:52 pm

HI Mary!

NC when employed correctly is really more about your healing and recovery, so take a look at trying to get back on that track! I discuss in great detail in my ebook, “The No Contact Rule Book”.

Lily

September 19, 2018 at 2:12 am

Hi Chris,

I have been with my boyfriend for almost eight years. I’m 34 and he is 36. Weve been through a lot together and love each other very much. For the last couple of weeks he has been pushing me away. We haven’t seen each other like we usually do and he doesn’t respond to me when I call or text. We didn’t have a fight or anything so I’ve been really hurt by his behavior. He finally text messaged me, after I had tried to get ahold of him repeatedly, saying that he hadn’t been feeling like same guy for the last couple of months. (Around the same time we had to put down his beloved dog. His first pet and he loved him really a lot.) He said he loved but didn’t want to talk and just wanted to be alone. He said he felt bad about how he had been acting and that it wasn’t fair to me. I responded letting him know I wanted to be there for him and that I wanted him to let me in. He didn’t respond and so I texted him again letting him know I’d be here if and when he needed me. I haven’t tried contacting him again because I want to give him his space but is killing me. Technically we never broke up so I am not sure if the no contact rule applies. I guess I just need some advice on what to do. I’m heartbroken and lost and just wish he’d talk to me. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Chris Seiter

September 19, 2018 at 2:54 am

Hi Lily!

So the relationship has some roots. 8 years is meaningful. I am wondering if he is going thru a depressed state of mind. I think he will come around. I do think a mini No contact will helpful. You can even give him a heads up, letting him no you are going to be off the radar for awhile too. Check out my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book”. It gets into all the psychology and various permutations of the NC rule.

rhea

September 18, 2018 at 9:57 am

Hi i just wanted my ex to carry on during what he did in the begginning of our relationship….thats about it and he thought i was trying to change him .he blocked me on whats up for not saying hi…it hurt and we spoke .now cause i never asked hows his day ,he dumped me via sms and blocked me again .its actually no more hurtful.but i dont like how he treats me with hurting me back cause i hurt him .yet he says we should take but then he did that.its only a few days but cause i blocked him on fb he had a big issue with it.i havent contacted him at all …im doing the nc rule but his that angry/stubborn type …..his a good guy but that treatment is uncalled for you know.i got fired last thursday .so im unemployed for 4 days and i told him and thought he would be there to support me …but he dumped me via sms whilst i needed him ….i know his expecting me to contact but right now i cant explain to you how i feel.i aint mad and him blocking me again has no effect on me at all.like i said just wanted him to carry on doing what he did in the beginning .thanks for the advise

Chris Seiter

September 19, 2018 at 12:17 am

Hi Rhea!

NC is probably a good choice here. Focus on your healing and your needs, not his. Let him find his way thru his anger

Nidhi

September 18, 2018 at 3:43 am

Hii, I am Nidhi and I am 21 and I have been in a relationship for a year, but we were best friends for 2 years before we started dating. We fought a lot . Because of him checking out other women when with me, and never really telling what he thinks of our future, then he started telling me things like we are two different individuals we cannot be together, our opinions doesn’t match , and further when I asked him ki every one else’s is different too, And I might get agrressive at times because of his this attitude, like if he would promise me a future rather than making me insecure in the first place why would I fight with him , then he left me 15 days back telling me he’s never ever getting back with me , He’s enough of my agrression. He also said to my friend that it’s not anger it’s a thoughtful break up, and no patch up is ever gonna be there ,and that it’s right. I begged him first , but he’s blocked me . So I went back to my parents and started NC and it’s been 12 days after that… He asked my sister how I was but not contacted me, maybe he thought that if he calls me I’ll act more clingy , Maybe he never wants to get back with me. I love him a lot Chris, I also said I’ll not fight with him and try to control my anger, when we have disagreements, but it’s so cruel, Will he ever return, I love him so much . Please please please Help . Please. It’s been everyday thinking about him. I miss him so much . Help. Help. Help. Help

Chris Seiter

September 19, 2018 at 12:21 am

Hi Nidhi!

It seems your ex has disrespected you….flirted….had negative things to say. So stick with the NC and let’s see if he can learn to appreciate your value. Go pick up my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” as it will help you get thru this period.

SS

September 16, 2018 at 5:00 pm

Hi,

I need some advice, even though the logical and rational part of my brain says to leave things alone and move on…
I met a man 9 months ago and it was an instantaneous reaction and connection, which we both tried to ignore, but failed dismally at, one thing lead to another we started an affair with each other. He has a girlfriend whom he has been with for about 18 months now. I know it is wrong, but I am still human and my brain is often overridden by my heart. He and I work for the same company, but come from different countries, coincidentally his girlfriend and I come from the same country, but we don’t know each other.
He and I have continued this affair for 9 months and it is passionate and intense and the feelings are very real, on my part at least…lately I don’t believe his are.
I have voiced my irritation at the situation and have told him he is going to need to choose and make a decision because this can’t go on and I am not prepared to continue the affair forever, it is going to have to be me or her.
I have been patient, which is not the easiest thing for me to do sometimes and I have kept my temper mostly in check, again not an easy thing for me to do, as I have a terrible and very quick temper.
She recently came to his country on vacation, and I said I know he will ignore me know, to which he replied he will not…he was true to his word and he maintained contact with me, telling me he misses me, thinks about me first thing in the morning, feels very strange with the relationship with her and wishes he was with me. All great to hear, but I am not an idiot, although evidence points to the contrary, and I eventually got angry and told him he has to choose because I can’t cope thinking about him with her, and while it is great to tell me these things, his actions don’t match his words and does he miss me and think of me while he is having s@x with her amongst other things. I told him if he doesn’t feel the same way I do, then he must please tell me, and I will leave him alone…he of course came back saying he does feel the same way I do and he misses me.
I ignored him after this, as again, I just felt like an idiot, because why would he tell me no, when I am not forcing him to choose.
He tried to speak to me, which I ignored.
I eventually answered about a week after I told him all of the above, to which he went back to saying sweet things. I got irritated again, because she is still there.
I never replied, as I was genuinely busy, and then he sent me a message asking if I was too busy for him…
I went ballistic because I felt he was being a D**K by saying this…and I told him to delete my phone number, forget he ever knew me and I was sick of being used, that my feelings are real and genuine, but his aren’t and he is a liar and he is never going to choose me and I am sick of it and he keeps showing who he really is…I told him I was deleting his phone number and I wished them a happy future and life together. He read my messages, but has not replied and it is 9 days later and we still have not spoken. On principle I won’t contact him, even though I want to and in my heart I feel he is meant to be with me and I don’t want to give up on him, even though my brain says I am an idiot and to move on. I know myself, I will maintain the NC, even if it is hard, but I know him and i believe at some stage he will contact me again…I think he will at least, I could be wrong. Not sure what I am supposed to do. I normally have a great control over my emotions, but as I said, I do have a bad temper…he never should have asked me if I am too busy for him, that was adding fuel to the fire, so to speak. Any advice?

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 4:04 am

Hi SS!

It is said that when emotions run high, logic runs low. NC can help you with that. But make sure you understand fully how it works, because NC is an active process and is meant to accomplish many things. Go to my home page and read up on what I have to say about it. I have written books that goes into great detail about the entire recovery process. I am so limited time wise on what I can cover here!

Helena

September 13, 2018 at 11:04 am

My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me two weeks ago now.
We are both 26 years old. When we started dating I was in a good place emotionally and we were both so happy in the first year.
But last summer my father (with whom I lived) got diagnosed with cancer and I had a hard time dealing, as every time I was home I had to watch his struggle with the disease. He died this spring. I was more angry than sad for his loss, cut ties with all my friends, got insecure.
During this my boyfriend was very supportive, came to the burial and everything. But I was so caught up in my personal misery and anger that I behaved unfairly towards him. I relied only on him to make me happy and complained that he did not show enough affection (even though he did more than enough, I was just so afraid of losing him). Which ended in us having a big fight because he went out with his friends when we had made plans to skype. I called him again an hour later but he did not answer until the next day when we made up, me acknowledging that I acted out of this fear of losing him. Afterwards he was showing even more affection towards me.
That was when I knew I had to get my act together. So 3 months ago I got a new apartment and he helped with this. I got back in touch with my friends, got my boyfriend stuff for my apartment so he would feel at home there, planned dates for us.
Then 5 weeks ago he went on a 3-week-trip to his brother who currently lives in China. We had a lovely last evening, cuddling, watching movies, I send him off at the airport and he kept saying it was „only 3 weeks, he‘d come back“. He did not contact me during those weeks (I thought because our messenger services do not work there) and when he came back he texted short, distanced. He cancelled our plans for me to pick him up at the airport as he wanted pay a visit to his mother who got sick while he was gone. So I said of course, check in with me when you‘ve can. A few days later he came to my place and I was so excited to see him, but he would not hug or kiss me. He brought me presents from China – then broke up with me. He said he had tried to change after the fight, but he had thought it through a lot (he is slow in making decisions), did not miss me enough while he was away, felt like I needed more affection than he could give. So of course I begged and pleaded and he said „I can‘t do this anymore“ again and again. He was very emotional and sad or upset.
(of course) I sent him a text some days later, saying that it was not his fault I had been so unhappy, that he should not have tried to change, that I was getting my life back on track and was sincerely sorry and ashamed of my behaviour during my grief.
He answered quickly saying that he had been happy with me too, that we had much in common and liked spending time with me but he could not open up to me to share his problems and did not see a future for us as a couple anymore. But he would very much like us to be friends.
So again I texted some days later, saying I knew he had problems with opening up to me, that I had not done enough to show him that I always had his back in the past, but wanted to change that. That I was sorry his decision seemed best for him as I may not have done enough to show that I was serious in changing the dynamics of our relationship back to something better for the both of us.
But he did not answer that and I did not contact him again.
So yesterday I saw him at a meeting (we are both a student initiative). I dressed nicely, was confident and social – everything I told him I wanted to change about myself since the fight. He looked at me a lot, but did not talk to me other than what was discussed in the meeting.

So basically, what do I do? Does his 3 week absence change anything? Or the fact that he did not see the changes that I tried to make after that big fight?
I really do miss him in my life and it hurts that he left just as I wanted to make amends and be the girlfried he deserves.
All the best from Germany

Chris Seiter

September 17, 2018 at 9:51 pm

It seems he may need more time. But the images of you at the party are certainly weighing on him. Are you fully employing NC and the tactics to reinforce your value thru social media?

Rob Merchant

September 5, 2018 at 7:23 am

There is an 8th: the guy is mature enough to respect her wish for no contact and how, in spite of the pain it causes him, actually refrains from contacting her. It’s not being stubborn, just allowing her the space she requested.
Emma

September 2, 2018 at 3:01 pm

Hi. My problem is that I have been involved in a long distance relationship for 3 years with an older man who is in a relationship with another woman. After having spent some significant time together recently, I decided to implement NC to 1) Try and give myself some space to think, 2) Try and see if he will have the courage to show me some real emotion/ leave his current partner. I am currently on day 28 of NC, and the first week I received normal messages then messages panicking that I had blocked him. Then another message telling me that he is so sorry for hurting me and that he loves me (this is the 3rd time he has ever told me that he loves me), then I received a message a week ago telling me that he has made ‘pledges’ to himself to ‘get himself in shape’ so that he can be ‘the man that I deserve’ and that he ‘neeeeeeds to come and see me’ in the country where I live. With no reply, he then took to following me on instagram and liking some photos. Day 30 will arrive soon and I am not sure what to do. I don’t feel like he has given me enough positive contact but I think he actually thinks I have blocked him. If I break NC on day 30, what should I say to him? Or should I wait for a long emotional message about how much he loves me, apologising for being so emotionally unavailable? Thank you for you time in reading this.

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 8:21 pm

Hi Emma!

You should reach out now. In my eBook, “The No Contact Rule Book” I talk about making exceptions in situations like this where you are far along in the NC period, yet you have gotten multiple positive communications from your ex. You should purchase my Program so you know how to handle the whole post breakup period following NC. In my program, I recommend you initiate contact with a type of text message that will trigger his curiosity. There are lots of them. IN your case, you could simply tell him you have received all of his prior messages and you appreciates their supportive and kind tone. Then take it slow, but build from there ensuring there is balance on who is initiating.

Z

September 2, 2018 at 6:38 am

Hi Chris,
I did no contact for a month, during which my ex would text me “hey how are you” often. I had deleted him from Facebook to which he reacted really angrily, even texted me about it. I never responded!
After a month, he texted me saying he wanted to return my things and I sent him a bubbly thanks text in response.
The only time I actually responded was when his cousin passed away a few days ago, he had sent me a text and I responded kindly.
However, we work in the same orgainsation and he saw me on Friday and in the evening, sent me a text saying “You can say hi sometimes you know.”
I’m not sure what is going on and how to respond or how to restart communication lines. He has only texted and I know he only knows I removed him from FB because he tried to look at my profile.
He broke up with me- but our breakup was good. No harsh words, no fighting. Just a conversation and a goodbye. He had even texted me the next morning asking how I was and that I should reach out if I need anything. It’s been about 6 weeks since we broke up now. What should my next move be?
Chelsea gray

September 1, 2018 at 11:54 pm

My ex and i broke up 4 days ago and he has contacted a few girls already, let alone his ex. He has expressed that he will want for me to move on too. During our relationship, i cheated on him but then when we got back together, he started to become distant even after months that i was trying to please him. Then when i lost his trust again, over some small thing i did, he broke up with me. He will be leaving on a plane 2 weeks from now. What should i do?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2018 at 3:40 am

I Chelsea…I know things are hard and very raw given the recency of the breakup and his behavior. I think No Contact would be the best medicine. Its important you understand how to properly implement it as there is a lot more to it than people realize, so take a look at my program to get up to speed!

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