The Definitive Guide To Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back

779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”

Crystal

August 9, 2015 at 1:57 am

Hi Chris!

So my exboyfriend and I are still friends on Facebook, Instagram, ect. He’s liked a couple of my posts on Facebook and Instagram. I have gone through the NC period already. So my question is, when I see one of his posts or pictures on social media, can/should you like one of his pictures? What kind of message does it send to him if I do?

Chris Seiter

August 16, 2015 at 11:47 pm

The first attempt should be a test text, something that is positive and will make him respond. Liking his posts won’t do much and will keep you guessing.

Emily

August 2, 2015 at 8:28 am

Chris, what do I do with the photos taken with him?
Do I delete them, or keep them on fb?
It’s been 7 months NC.

Chris Seiter

August 10, 2015 at 10:23 pm

Leave them up. You don’t want to show him any kind of emotional at this point. He will check your facebook and see that nothing has changed and he will be looking for a change. The best thing to do is to put up posts about how you got a new job or a new workout plan etc.

Red

July 26, 2015 at 11:01 pm

Hi Chris…I just love reading your articles. I call it my therapy. Getting a mans perspective is insightful. Long story short..on again off again bf for 2.5 yrs. Currently off. My story is different. When we met I was going thru divorce I told him the truth upfront 100% of the time. He’s been patiently waiting I’m now divorced going on 8 months. Unfortunately I still live with my ex, I’m upstairs he’s downstairs. We own a big home together and it’s currently on the market for sale. That took longer than expected. Well during our time together he never brought me around family or friends. He didn’t want anyone to judge me and I think he was embarrassed he was with yet a married women who lives with her ex. (Haven’t slept with my ex almost 15 yrs) that’s the reason for divorce, no love. My ex bf is a drinker and is out every wkend with his lads having fun but never includes me. He has an issue with me living here but he knew this from day one. Any way I broke up with him by letter on 4/16 because I heard he took someone on a date and I was crushed. It took him 7 weeks to text me. We were texting back and forth until I told him why I broke it off. He got mad and says I’m just fine on my own I don’t need this drama. Well I was doing a nc after the fight it lasted 13 days and we ran into another Sat at a party in a bar. When I walked in he was taken back and became nervous. I went up directly and gave him a hug. It’s been 13+ weeks since I saw him. We chatted briefly he was standoff ish all night he wouldn’t talk to me but just starred at me across the room all night long. We both did. I was hurt that he refused to talk to me. Several men hit on me and iI sent them away but it got his attention. I was hurt so I got up and walked out of the bar bbefore closing without saying goodbye to him. just left and texted him next day asking why we couldn’t talk that I enjoyed our glances and felt the attraction he said No it’s gone! He’s never told me that before but he has pushed me away like that when he’s hurt. During our fight 2 weeks prior he said..it doesn’t matter what we do you are still living in that house with that man! He finally admitted his hurt. But I’ve been moving forward as promised from day one. I’m divorced, house for sale my stuff is packed and he’s now backed out. How you you go one wk telling me you want to work on us and you crave me to the next week saying it’s gone? I’m finding it harder to walk away from him of 2.5 yrs than ending my divorce from a man of 31 yrs. I am so depressed I can’t function. Can a relationship recover from such things? NC is in place and we are still friends on facebook.
Curious

July 7, 2015 at 1:36 am

Super complicated situation I put myself in here but I’m curious how to handle the “get your ex back” situation if you don’t do Facebook (I have one but I’ve never been a poster). Anyway, my ex and I had a thing for a few months (it was distance but it worked for me) he initiated everything…being fb friends, calling, texting, coming to visit, making future plans…it got to the point very early on that he left a bunch of shop tools and clothes at my house and the whole relationship moved really quickly. He spent an entire week with me at my house and when he flew back home he just kinda stopped calling or texting, basically being in contact. I finally asked him what was up and he said he couldn’t anymore. Which I guess was fine, obviously not happy with the idea or his reason but what else do you do? Just accept right? During that time we didn’t really talk at all. I couldn’t talk to him anyway and wasn’t sure I wanted to because I ended up getting pregnant and having a miscarriage (not wise, but things moved quickly). Well, It took him almost 3 months to finally come get his things (which was last week). When he did we ended up hooking up ( not sure if that is a good idea or bad) I initially wasnt going to tell him about the miscarriage because, well what for? Ended up telling I figured he ought to know, he played a role also. We haven’t spoken since, its been about a week. Anyway, I don’t post pics or statuses on fb and I don’t contact him, but I noticed he unfriended me. What does that mean? Should I leave well enough alone and let go?
Melonie

June 28, 2015 at 1:14 pm

In January I found out I have breast cancer. The stress and struggle through my sickness ultimately ended my relationship with my fiance. He ended up cheating on me and as much as it hurts, I feel he could not take the pressure acting out. I want him back, I’ve done the whole chasing and emails. He is the one hiding from me. It’s been awhile since I last tried to contact him. Do you think he feels bad and watching my facebook? How do I get him back?

starla

July 21, 2015 at 8:02 pm

If hes not willing to stick with you through thick and thin you don’t want him .. focus on you and your health and start dating again.

AryA

June 26, 2015 at 2:36 am

Hey Chris I really need your advice 🙁
I was dating a guy for a month and a half from March to April. He was the first guy I reallly cared about in years, he even introduced me to some of his family. I met him on an online dating site. Once he started dating me, he slowed down big time going online, and so did I. Anyways, he started getting comfortable in the relationship and taking forever to reply to my texts and I kept getting angry about that and asking if he was done with me (overreacting, I know). He started backing off big time until finally I blurted out that I didn’t want to do this anymore, that it was unfair to me to bend over backwards for him, and that he could talk to me about it. He said there’s not much he could do (his job is 7 days a week). I said I would back off then. I texted a week later asking how he was, and he said he missed me, but doesn’t want to keep me in this. Long story short, we had a lot of back and forth drama, where he keeps saying he doesn’t want to keep me in this because he can’t guarantee time. I kept saying it doesn’t matter, I understand that he’s busy, only that he tries to make time. I know for a fact that my nagging at him really pushed him away. He’s been doing the online dating a lot. I’ve been doing it in spurts. After the first fight, he wasn’t really on, but once I texted him, he went crazy on there. Same pattern, everytime I feel he’s upset, I talk to him, and he goes nuts on the dating site (like online all day). Now I waited 3 weeks to contact him (this week). He said he has no hard feelings, but still thinks I’m better off without him. He’s online like once a day. We texted a bit the next day, he replied within seconds. But later that night, I asked what he was doing and he never replied. Does it sound like he’s seeing somebody else or.. what is he thinking/doing? I need your opinion please…. this is literally killing me inside. I fell hard and fast 🙁 What should I do? I’ve made some of my facebook pics public, but we never became friends. I don’t think he’s on there often, and neither was I.
rinne

June 25, 2015 at 2:12 pm

Hi. Ive reas the article and it’s awesome. But I jist want to ask. I have some concerns. I have some sort of problem with our mutual friends and he’s the only one I talk to about this. I don’t have plans of getting him Back, i just want to talk to him about how I feel with our friends. Help pls. Thank you.

Chris Seiter

July 16, 2015 at 6:21 pm

I mean I guess you can talk to him if you don’t want him back.

Sunshine

June 21, 2015 at 7:58 am

Hi Chris,
Thank you so very much for this anazing article! However I wish id read it way before. My ex and I broke up 4 months ago and in the second miserable month, my friend recommended me to block him since he never post anything on Facebook and I’m the one who is sharing my life with him. After blocking him, one day due to missing me so much, I decided to unblock him. I guess after you unblock someone, you are no longer friends. The last two months that I cannot track him down at FB since we are not friends, I noticed that I recovered much faster ( assuming he did too) but I really regretted it. Because it’s the only connection that we had. Now it’s gone. But u do still think of him and miss him even thought we ended the relationship in a bad way. What should I do? Add him back? I really wish that I read this article earlier instead of blocking him
L

June 16, 2015 at 6:39 am

Omg do I need help here!!! ItA a really long story!
However I broke up with my Ex two weeks ago and there has been contact.
There have been statements from of…..
I don’t feel the same anymore followed by I don’t know how I feel? I feel numb (suffers from depression)
Followed by texting me and reacting very jealous towards guys on my facebook
To blocking me from facebook
And the telling after reacting jealous that its my
Life I can do what I want… Go and date if that’s what makes me happy!
Can the no contact still work even two after a back and forth situation?

Help me
noor

May 11, 2015 at 1:12 pm

Hey chris
I really liked the article and I just need your opinion .
I am pretty sure that he really loves/loved me , he used to open up to his sister about what he felt and she used to tell me , we were great for a few months , I wasn’t crazy about him , I cared about him and encouraged him to stop smoking and he did . So basically we were great together , I didn’t confess that I loved him when he did but told him that I liked him and I really liked talking to him . oneday I knew that my family and I might travel to a different country in a few months so I wanted to know what would happen to us if I did , he said that nothing will change and that he believed that the distance won’t matter , but after a week or two I talked to him to know if he changed his mind and he said “I don’t know , I’ve been thinking about it and I feel like you want us to remain only friends” I don’t know why I said “yes” two days later he texted me and I told him that I might not travel for a specific reason , I expected he would be happy to hear that but he wasn’t , he said “lets think today and decide tomorrow” the next day he broke up with me saying that it would be best and he didn’t exactly say why . I tried to tell him that I don’t want us to break up but he ignored it , and we said goodbye .
It’s been two weaks now and he didn’t contact me again and I didn’t try to call or text or contact him in any way too .
I know that he loves me , I just don’t get it and I want him back .
Can you please tell me what to do . Should I wait or should I talk?
catherine

May 7, 2015 at 3:16 pm

Chris,
I have just one question but really want to know as i’m applying NC rule.
I used to post photos on facebook (mainly about life,the way i appreciate little thing in life, my friends and also about my creative ideas,such as interior design,food arrangement etc, sometimes my photos with great fashion sense 😉 )
We used to contact each other through FB messenger, since I’m in NC with him, should I continue to post on facebook but ignore his fb messages?
Or i should disappear from facebook? (or I post nothing,meanwhile some of my friends tag me on their photos, showing that I’m living a fruitful life)

We both actually still like each other and we dumped no one,but due to some reasons,he chose to go back to his ex,a girl who he had been waiting for for 2 years,he dumped the girl as they didn’t have common interest and the girl had pretty much cheating history.I totally understand why he chose her as I had a similar experience in my past relationship.

He told me that he appreciated me and still do,and also likes my personality a lot. But before starting a serious relationship with me, he has to get a clear conclusion from the past. He was really sincere,open up a lot to me and trust me a lot (so far i know, he is the kind who takes around 4-5 months to make decision)

I’m pretty sure and confident that i’m far better than his ex, and also sure that we both would be amazing together(he once told me the same thing). But i hate myself being around him so decided to apply this NC rule, as he still check up on me through facebook and like almost my every post.

Chris, I really appreciate if you can answer my question and clear my doubt.
Have a nice day! And thanks for reading my message!!
Uh oh

May 7, 2015 at 9:58 am

What if you already deleted your ex off Facebook? Should I add him back? I mean…he wouldn’t find it too odd. We’re not on bad terms. Just don’t want to seem desperate or anything. I’m going to be starting the 30 day no contact though. So don’t know if that’s sending mixed signals.
sweety

April 30, 2015 at 6:01 pm

Hello Chris, I really need your help, please..
Magdalene

April 29, 2015 at 6:14 pm

I had a misunderstanding with my boyfriend which was due to lack od communication and trust issues and this led to a break up. It was a rash decision but i still love him dearly and want him back. During no contact for more than 30 days, he never called or text me. Am confused and what should i do???
Marie

April 29, 2015 at 12:26 am

hi my boyfriend broke up with me he said that he doesnt feel the same about us and the other day we had to go a dance and he was there talking with another girl, i just have 2 weaks doing the no contact rule but i felt desperate and i share a photo on instagram about my life but i dont know if i am doing the right oh and he send me a message by facebook telling me it is ok, i havent answered him

Marie

April 29, 2015 at 12:30 am

what should i do? u.u

Kendra

April 27, 2015 at 10:00 pm

When I first was dumped by my boyfriend, all of my friends told me to delete him off of all social media just incase he posted things about him going out. I did this and now reading your guide I regret it! I’m almost a week into the NC… Can I add him back without breaking that rule? Should I add him back?
Nix

April 22, 2015 at 1:56 am

I have a question. What if youre not really into facebook? Like, even before youre not that active in it? Basically like a ninja just going through the newsfeed, liking and posting only from time to time. Wouldnt that have sort of a mysterious effect? I know he could see me online a lot but I usually stay quiet in FB, wouldnt that make him wonder? I mean, is it just as good to be mysterious or is flaunting all those things mentioned in the article better?

Chris Seiter

April 23, 2015 at 12:20 am

Then you can still be successful you just have to do stuff without the aid of Facebook (which there is A LOT)

Jane

April 17, 2015 at 10:07 pm

I unfriended him in a moment of haste within 24 hours of NC, I am now 21 days into NC…. I would give anything to have just unfollowed him. I am still friends with his friends and family members what would you suggest, please help me. 2.5 year relationship. We were to go to Mexico together with my 2 children and he cancelled out when I said I wanted to go to the next level I got a letter from him this week saying “he does not know why it ended but accepted that it did.” Please advise. Thank you so much for this site

Jane

April 17, 2015 at 10:12 pm

Maybe my first contact would be me messaging him on FB about unfriending him?

Kate

April 14, 2015 at 1:52 pm

Is simply linking his pic on Facebook breaking the NC?

Chris Seiter

April 16, 2015 at 4:10 pm

yes it would be considered breaking NC.

Ivy

April 13, 2015 at 2:30 am

I broke up with my bf 5 days ago. I broke up with him coz we had a small fight over text. I just ask him about a girl he recently added on Facebook. He said that it was someone he knew but not close with, and actually it was not him who added her but his coach who was browsing on Facebook using his account. I ask him to unfriend the girl, but he said told me that why should he do that since they know each other. I’m a pretty jealous woman, but I respected his privacy (I didn’t even ask for his password and it was the first time I ask him to unfriend someone). So to calm down this, I told him fine, he can do whatever he want with his account since its his and I won’t tell him to do anything with it if he will also show the same courtesy to me. But instead, he exploded. He brought things up from the past, like the one time he asked me to unfriend someone (I said no because the guy is a churchmate), and the fact that I didn’t unfriend my ex. He also told me about the time that his ex added him and I was uncomfortable with the idea of it so he unfriended her. We were hust fighting over text that time, but I felt like he shouting at my face because all if his texts has “!” in it and he was swearing. I felt like he looked down on me and I felt disrespected. So when he texted me that what we have is f*cked up, I replied that if that’s the case, let’s end this. He just replied that “yeah, its f*cked up! Better to do that!” I didn’t reply after that until today. I decided to go NC only for a week, to know if he really values me and what we had, but he didn’t. He even had a blast during his outing with workmates 2 days ago. I saw his pics, he looked happy. Now I tempted to text him, but after reading your articles, I decided not to do it and extend the NC to a month. But I don’t feel accomplished by it now. I can see him that he’s happy without me. I am so tempted to contact him. What should I do?

Chris Seiter

April 16, 2015 at 4:27 pm

How far are you in NC currently?
Ivy

April 13, 2015 at 3:00 am

Please do reply to this, I badly need help..

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779 thoughts on “Using Facebook To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back”