How To Get A Long Distance Relationship Ex Boyfriend Back

5,237 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”

John

November 9, 2016 at 4:18 pm

I’m a man so I don’t know how much you can help but I guess its worth a shot. Who knows you might have all the answers to my problem.

I dated this girl online for around a year and slowly fell in love with her. I had exams which got very stressful and led to us breaking up…we got back together once but then she didn’t feel like we’d last so it ended again. We’ve recently got back to talking after a while but I didn’t follow the NC rule that much. In the past as a girlfriend she was clingy and enjoyed someone talking to her everyday. That’s why after few weeks I got talking to her again. We have some conversations where she seems uninterested, others were she’s very emotionally invested and keen to reply with lots about the subject. I have told her I love her but I’m trying to reduce my emotions as she only wants us to be friends.

Of course I do want to be with her though…Sorry if my story isn’t long or detailed enough. In fact that was the problem. The story spans over two years of my life so I didn’t know whether to mention some bits or others. I’ll happily answer any questions to fill in details.

Thanks
John

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 5:36 pm

Hi John,

did you meet personally? How often? How old are you both?

J

November 9, 2016 at 3:45 pm

so this is mainly my fault but hes leaving for military in 3 days…..i got mad over a picture he didnt like that i posted and for not texting me. he messaged back saying he wants nothing to do with me and doesnt want to see me now or even in the future when he is back. he told me to stay out of his life and he is gonna block me.
FUCK i just ruined 2 yrs chance right? he said he doesnt like me and nothing more. he said he doesnt care if i change now cause in the end he doesnt want a thing to do with me in the future…

do u think he means it? he sounds very convincing`
Sara

November 9, 2016 at 6:22 am

We broke up after 2 months of LDR. Before that we’ve been dating for about 8 months. We had a rough time transitioning and fought over petty things quite often. He just said he wasn’t happy in an LDR.. But he said he wanted to marry me. He basically gave up on us and I tried very hard till the end to ask him to continue trying until I’m back home again from college. Should I try to salvage it or not?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 12, 2016 at 2:29 pm

Hi Sara,

Try it out the advice above, because at least you know you tried before letting things go.

guvi

November 8, 2016 at 11:14 am

i found that my boyfriend talks dirty to random girls on social media. i saw him asking for nudes also. he kept lying to me for 5 months that it wasn’t he but his friend who used his account. finally i found out that he lied. we have been in long distance relationship for about 3 years. our break up wasn’t clear …. i never mentioned about it neither he. we just left. it has been 4 days now i haven’t responded to any of his texts or calls. do you think no contact will work in my situation? do you think i should give him a second chance?

no!!

November 15, 2016 at 6:16 pm

we met way more than 3 times … !
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 10:19 pm

No, I meant 3 times because 1 time a year right? But, it was for few days. He talks to other girls, lies about asking for nude photos of women . You said he’s a good liar, so I’m pretty sure, this is not the only thing he lied about. But if you really want to try, at least do the no contact rule. Try it for 45 days.
guvi

November 12, 2016 at 11:44 am

We meet each time he comes home for holidays. He is in army so he gets only 5 to 6 days leave twice an year.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 15, 2016 at 1:09 am

Hmm..so, you net 3 times only? Frankly, it’s not looking good.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 11, 2016 at 4:55 pm

Hi Guvi,

there’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work and a person will only change, if he wants to change.. How many times have you seen each other personally? I think you should talk first.. but to be honest, if you havent met at all, there’s a low chance that he wont cheat again

Dana

November 7, 2016 at 10:06 pm

Hi, I’m pretty desperate. My boyfriend and I were dating each other for over 2.5 years. We always talked of the future and rarely had any full blown arguments or fights. This august he moved away to finish school. Which was a pretty big change for both of us. Our first two years together, we practically lived together. We’d do everything together and go everywhere together. There wasn’t a night we weren’t staying at one of our apartments. Then this august came. I didn’t know how to express to him how much it hurt other than saying I wish you didn’t have to move so far away (from Illinois to Florida). Things were okay for the first two months. Then this past month I became overwhelmed with work, finishing school, and family obligations. I shut him out when I shouldn’t have. So, about two weeks ago, he asked me how I was and I was very truthful. I told him I felt like I was loosing him. He told me he had been depressed. We talked things through and never really had a fight. But he would constantly say he needed time to think about us, BUT he wanted to keep talking. So we did this for about five days and I finally asked what he wanted to do. I’d apologized, I admitted my wrong doings, and he accepted, but said he just doesn’t know if he thinks we can build a reconnection. So an hour before class, he calls me and ends it. I asked him why. No real answer. Leading up to all of this he would constantly say that I deserved better, and I’d tell him I only wanted him. He even said I know if we break up we will just get back together. The next day, here we are and we are broken up. I take fault for pushing him away, but I was desperately trying to save us. He never liked to bring up when we there was tension in our relationship and I wasn’t a big fan of doing it either, but I did. It was like the one time, literally the one time things got tough for us, he wanted to give it all up. I read this article before we broke up and hoped the strategies could be used to save our relationship. He says he still wants to talk, but that is so painful for me. How am I not going to say “I love you” at night like it used to be? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Do you think we have a chance of getting our relationship back. I told him I wanted to work on, but he just kept on saying he needs to think.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 10, 2016 at 7:03 pm

Hi Dana,

It’s ok.. Seeing that he doesn’t want to talk, it would be better to try the advice above than to keep pushing it right?

Mia

November 7, 2016 at 6:51 pm

We met online and for 2 months we communicated with each other daily. He is twice my age. We were getting along so well. He said he was lucky to find me. He had plans on seeing me next year. But one night, I attended a party and stayed longer than I was supposed to. I failed to update him and he got mad at me. I explained to him what happened but did not believe my story. I got frustrated and ended up agreeing to his versions of what possibly happened. I apologized and told him that I won’t do it again, he said he doesn’t trust me anymore and that I do not contact him again. What should I do?

Mia

November 9, 2016 at 7:26 pm

I understand where his coming from. He had failed relationships before. He doesn’t want being lied too. I am worried cause he is alone. I have family and friends around me who have been comforting me. I miss him, but for the past days I have been trying to improve myself. I spent time reading motivational books recommended by him before the misunderstanding. He wanted me to be better. My appetite is slowly coming back. But the smile, glow that I had during the months we were communicating has not returned yet.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 13, 2016 at 4:36 am

Well, he should review those books. Dont worry about him, he’s an adult and not suicidal, so he can take care of himself. That’s nice that you understand him but to judge you just because of your age and looks is very unfair. You even reported every event in the party, that should be more than enough. Right now, let him be to think. Make the most of your nc to heal and improve..
Mia

November 9, 2016 at 7:10 pm

It’s been 9 days of no contact. The incident happened last week of October. I met with old friends which rarely happened cause I was always busy. I enjoyed and overstayed. I told him where I was but failed to give him complete update of what I was doing. When I got home and went online to chat with him he did not believe me. He said that I am lying. He suggested that I had sex with someone at the party which kept me busy from remembering him. I said no, he insisted other scenarios. He broke up with me. I spent the day devastated, weak, and crying. The next day, he sent me a smiley and asked me to call him. I got confused, I called him. He said he wanted to check on me. He sent me a message that it’s about trust. I felt better. I thought we were ok, then the following day he asked me again what happened. I got frustrated, insulted, so I said yes I was drunk and had sex with someone so he will stop. He thinks that I am young and attractive so I should also like sex. He said he doesn’t know what to believe anymore. He doesn’t want me back cause the foundation of our relationship has been ruined. I apologized to him. I know the age gap and cultural difference is a factor too. He can’t accept my flaws, he thought everything about me is nice but he said that all I think was self preservation.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 9, 2016 at 1:57 am

Hi Mia,

when was this? and when did you last attempted to contact him?

David the secret lover

November 4, 2016 at 3:44 am

Hey. Here is my story I was in England and met this girl called Megan from the internet. We met up twice in August before I had to go back to Hong Kong in the beginning of September. Ever since then we have been talking to each other everyday and probably talked on the phone five times a week. Few days ago we argued over something minor but we quickly made up. The next day she told me that she wanted to have a break until she has sorted out herself but I believe a break means a small pathway lead to break up. Even she said that she doesn’t want me to lose me entirely and she loves me. She said she cant focus on her own things when she thinks about me all the time. Now she wants us stay friends. I don’t know if the no contact rule will work for me since she doesn’t show much of her emotion and she isn’t a talkative person.

She said that she had a long distance relationship with a boy before and it was like 8 months or something but they have never met. Would it be more painful in the relationship when she had meet me ?

Please give me some advices on what this situation is and what i can do.

David the Secret lover

November 6, 2016 at 11:12 am

We have been together for about 3 months and this year is her last year in high school so she has exams coming up etc. The breakup was calm and no arguments at all so I don’t know. To be honest I will try my best to save it and at the moment I’m using no contact rules.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 6, 2016 at 12:40 am

Hi David,
how long were you together? Do you always argue? If not, I think you should just let her cool down. Unless she’s really serious that she wants to focus in her own things instead of being in a relationship.

Nina

November 3, 2016 at 10:50 am

Hi.
My LDR broke up about a month ago. He went on a 3 week trip overseas and while he was there he just started ignoring me and not replying to my messages or calling me. He gave me a variety of excuses. Eventually it led to me telling him we should take a break. He assured me that when he got home we would sort it out. When he got home we started talking a bit more and when I called him to discuss a way forward he said he is no longer interested in a relationship with me. Not now not ever. But he would like us to be friends. I said my goodbyes and then tried no contact for a week. I’m currently writing exams so the NC was almost impossible for me. I contacted him and asked if he had changed his mind and wanted to try again and he said no but we can be friends. He also said there’s no chance of us ever getting back together but we can try friends.
I don’t know what to do. Should I wait till after he and I are both done with exams and then reevaluate our position because maybe he is just very stressed or should I give up?
We were together for just over a year and we’re talking about marriage. There was a lot of pressure on him to find a job and get stable so we could be together.
We are in different places in our lives but we got along so well and even though we had a lot of challenges to face we tried to overcome them. It was a shock for me because he changed overnight. One day he was loving and the next day he started ignoring me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 5, 2016 at 11:33 am

Hi Ninq,

why is it hard to do the no contact rule during exam, do you study together?

Andee

November 3, 2016 at 2:27 am

Im in a 6yrs relationship with my ex. And we’re in ldr for almost 1yr and 4months. Im currently working at japan and hes staying at the phils.

After i when here in japan, we have plan all things together. How to call, text and etc. But as time goes by schedules begun to be complicated for us and misunderstanding and expections, efforts on both sides arise. Our arguements became more and more serious (e.g. family acceptance probs, efforts, appreciations, trust, faith, time). Once i did try to have a sudden no contact rule for around 1 month and half. I stopped when he suddenly deactivate his fb acct which got me paranoid.

Then we did try to try last more chance to make things work. We just lasted within a week, because of issues of planning and time, effort again. Until just this past 3 days we broke up. He said ‘im already tired, and it seems to be repetitive issues. So i dont want be in this anymore.’ When i asked him if he still loves me. He said he dont know anymore.

All along in our relationship he was the one who say sorry first most of the time. So i feel guilty for this last one.

I really dont want him to go. I still love him and i know he knew that. but due to some circumstances against in our relationship like my family and some ‘each on other issues.’ Things are heavier for us to continue. And i think ldr situation make it more heavier.

Im planning to say sorry for the last time.. but should i do that or not? Does NC will still work on us? I really dont know what to do. I really dont want to lose him in this way. And not while im a miles away from him.

Pls help.

Andeeann

November 6, 2016 at 2:00 am

im 30 hes 27. my parent are way too conservative. i guess.

right now ever since i went here. we havent seeing each other personally except from fb video calls. he said he was planning to go here and visit me before the break up but i dont know it its true.

5 days after the broke up. i notice he deleted already the pictures we have on his ig acct. and it drive me nuts so i send him that sorry msg ( consisting of sorrys and my feelings.) yesterday and he replied to me within hours formally greeting me good morning and saying ‘ Please let me read through.. Then, I’ll let know you know my thoughts.. and i prayed for you.’ i just replied ‘morning. okay’.

i really was triggered to send that apology msg due to ever since were in a relationship he was always the first one to say sorry when ever we got this kind of break up. its the 4 time we did this but i think this last is might be the last for him. to make him deleted our pictures already and deciding to break up with me.
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 7, 2016 at 10:34 am

Ok, if you are going to start the no contact rule, do 45 days.. And you have to think about how you are going to handle the issues this time if you got back together
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 4, 2016 at 12:03 am

Hi Andee,
how old are you both? Your family didn’t like him? How often do you see each other in a year? There’s no guarantee that the no contact rule will work but right now, I think pushing to talk will just annoy him

B

November 2, 2016 at 8:46 pm

Hi there,

My ex and I have been dating for almost a year. We both go to different colleges and he lives in my hometown where I go to school elsewhere. We are great when we were together but found it really difficult being long distance and had constant little arguments. A couple weeks ago he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship and didn’t want to put in the effort anymore. I was against breaking up but he was persistent and broke up with me. I would try not talking to him but always ended up texting him every couple of days. It’s been around two weeks since the break up and about a month since we’ve seen each other. I will be going home this weekend and he wants to meet up to get some of his stuff and “talk”. He told me multiple times during the break up he doesn’t see a future in us and that he doesn’t want to get back together and focus on himself. Should I still meet wit him over the weekend and then attempt the no contact rule or should I just begin the no contact rule?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 8:46 pm

Hi B,
if he needs his stuff, you should go meet him.. but I think when you talk to him, it’s either just confirming the break up or talking about solutions for the distance

fel

November 2, 2016 at 5:49 pm

Is there any way I can email you? I have so many questions and my situation is urgent.

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 5:35 pm

Hi Fel,

currently, we prefer this or you can try sending a voice mail in the podcast. Because even if you emailed, with the amount of emails we get, it would also take time before you get answered.

J

November 2, 2016 at 12:03 pm

I know 2 years is long time but do you know people who fall out of love in 2 yrs but can fall back in love if they can change their behaviors regarding controlling, neediness, etc? I wish i can stop thinking about 2 yrs but i feel like it wont work out for some reason because ive never met anyone who got back with any ex’s after time apart.
im sure you prob have because of this website….are my chances high?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 4:00 pm

If the person really changed,moved on and got way better than the person they left, yes, they get attracted to that person again..

Victoria

November 2, 2016 at 10:08 am

Hi

I broke up with my ex boyfriend January this year. I made a big mistake of asking him to come back and even went to their house drunk. After months of no contact we started to talk gain – i used the tactic in this site. We actually became little more comfortable with each other texting – not daily though. I was even able to get him to meet me for an event last week. Although he mentioned about girls – one he met on tinder and another friend but he said he is not dating anyone exclusive yet – i didnt even ask him of that. He also texted me photos of him during halloween, although it seems like most of the time it is a reply to my message. in my messages to him i made sure that i am not being friendly and he was not resisting it. But this week i invited him for 2nd meet up twice and he said no on both and it felt that i needed to tell him that i want to get to know more of him and i want to start a new via SMS since he is saying nos. He responded that his is not interested on dating me again and he doesn’t have feelings. He also said he is sure January and he is more so sure now. And that its better for him to be upfront and honest so i can move on quickly.

What do you think? I know i made another mistake texting him for second chance.. i think that made him feel off. I still like him but I’m losing faith already as this is the 3rd time (broke up, beg after break up, sms to ask for second chance lately) he said he is not interested on me. I need help…

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 2:50 pm

Hi Victoria,

you need to move on because he said it straight. He doesnt want to go back with you, and he can see you’re trying.. Unless, you’re just really being friendly, it’s ok to keep talking but of course dont expect much.. Because at the back of his mind, maybe you’re still hoping and all he wants right now is for you to move on

Sofia

November 1, 2016 at 7:19 pm

Hi,

me and my boyfriend were in a LDR for over a year until last saturday. We skyped on saturday and he told me he still loves me, that it’s really hard for him to let me go and I could see that. I really want him back because in my opinion he is the one. I am scared that the nc rule will not work, do you have any idea what else to do if nc fails? And how can I improve during nc?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 2, 2016 at 7:29 pm

Hi Sofia,

was the distance the reason why you broke up? How often do you see each other in a month? do you have a plan on how to be closer to each other?

J

November 1, 2016 at 1:03 pm

im trying to talk to him but laying low but hes still not responsive just one worded response and no convos, should i just completely drop this all and not talk to him anymore and just say bye when he goes to army next week?

EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 6:27 pm

2 years is a long time, you have all that time to be independent. Yes, you should stop initiating, if he texts you though, you can reply.

J

October 31, 2016 at 11:20 pm

so basically you’re saying hes just too fed up to think about being in a relationship with me right now? Do you think someone can forget about how desperate/needy someone is 2 years ago? Do you think over 2 years, someone can look past all the controlling, needy, clingy behavior and willing to retry? Have you heard stories like this or have any links regarding this?
J

October 30, 2016 at 9:01 pm

I hate myself for failing NC for the past 3 months. I hate it so much and I am so regretful that the fiest day I did NC in July he was so confused and double texted me but I failed due to so many reasons. 3 months later, we are completely downhill trying to be friends that he doesnt even want to text me anymore or try and sees no future anymore. DO I HAVE A CHANCE ?? WE HAVE 2 YEARS OF NO COMMUNICATION. What do u think I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH FOR THIS. i cry everyday because of what i did. He told me to live my own life and to stop bothering him and even in the future it is still a maybe to getting back together based on if i have changed and if he has feelings for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 8:45 pm

there’s no guarantee.. He’s not planning to not get back with you.. He’s just really fed up.. Even though there’s no point in doing nc now to try to get him back, the best choice is still to stop chasing him. Like, what you said to move on. If he initiates a conversation, talk to him. If not, just continue on rebuilding your life and making a new routine.

J

October 30, 2016 at 8:55 pm

can i get him back IF i move on and have my own life after all the shit he said about us and how he doesnt want me to get mad if we dont work out and that i will get mad cuz i waited for 2 yrs? why is he saying this? its like he is planning for us to not get back together and that he has no hope? Do you think me and him can get back together once i focus on my own life and not talk to him for 2 years?
alex

October 30, 2016 at 6:41 pm

Okay so, Me and my ex were friends with benefits for 2 years before we started dating for almost 2 years. we met once in may and everything was going well I thought. We made plans for me to move in with him next year and visit in 4months!!!. He left me 5 days go but I’m not clear on really why. At first he says that its because I panic alot ( I have anxiety) and it stresses him out. Next its because he “cheated” and “caught feelings ” then he just says we should just separate. He’s also said that hes going through things at the moment and before we broke up he said that he was having some problems (idk with what,he doesn’t like talking about his problems) I’ve asked him if we’ll ever get back together and he said maybe one day but no promises .I’ve also asked him does he still feel for me and he said “if i told you i still loved you you’d hold on” what does all of this mean? how can I get him back? is he leaving me because of the girl? please help

alex

November 2, 2016 at 5:35 am

its not me moving in. he says i panic too much. and today i told him we can’t be friends anymore and he got mad/sad. is this a good sigh?
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 3, 2016 at 2:02 pm

yeah, but that can be the reason why he doesnt want you to move in.. but of course, it would be better to address the panic issues too, to get better from it..in a way, yes, it is a good sign
alex

November 1, 2016 at 5:42 am

how can I get him back???
EBR Team Member: Amor

November 1, 2016 at 7:55 pm

We can’t guarantee that you will, but no contact rule does help increase your chances if you use it to improve yourself. Improve yourself, have your own life.. If he feels pressured about you moving in, then he has to think you’ve changed your mind about it because you’re busy in your own life now.
EBR Team Member: Amor

October 31, 2016 at 10:52 pm

Hi Alex,

if he cheated then yes, probably that’s the real reason or he just doesn’t want you to move in.

J

October 30, 2016 at 4:46 pm

how high are my chances in the future? my ex told me to accept the fact our relationship didnt work out and to stop holding on to the future because there might be no future. he said that i can barely go on with my own life without constantly bothering him …..hes leaving in 2 weeks…..should we just stop talking now…..he wont be able to communicate for 6 weeks in the military but after that he can only talk once a day whenever theyre done with training and have access to a computer…..he said he wont have a negative mindset when we meet up in the future but he said even then it is still a maybe to getting back together. he told me to go on with my life and stop trying to win me back and focus on myself because there is no future together. he said to focus on now and not the future and accept we didnt work out and we might not in the future..

i reallt want him back in the future. ill move on for now….but what are my chances? should i just ignore him now? keep talking for the next 2 weeks til he leaves?

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5,237 thoughts on “The Complete Guide To Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back In A Long Distance Relationship”