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Post categories
mel
April 8, 2020 at 2:55 am
Hi,
So my ex reached out to me after nearly 3 months NC. We went into NC as soon as he broke up with me. He texted at 2am in the morning so I’m assuming he was drunk or something and admitted he had ‘caved’ first by texting. I didn’t reply because I didn’t see it until the next morning and knew he was drunk and he probably regretted it in the morning.
He also unfollowed me on social media that day and my friend saw him on tinder the following week (although he might’ve been on tinder earlier). He hasn’t reached out again.
Do you think he will reach out ever again? Is he trying to move on now?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 13, 2020 at 3:21 pm
Hi Mel, I would say that it shows he was thinking of you that night, but it doesn’t mean he is moving on just because he is on tinder, it could just be him looking for a distraction from his feelings and filling the void of talking to you. If you want him back, then you would need to follow NC period and then start the texting phase
Jess
April 7, 2020 at 7:09 pm
Been in no contact for 4/5 months. Reached out to my ex and he was polite but scared about giving me false hope? Is this a common reaction? Reassured him that he didn’t need to worry about that, and happy to be friends and that I’m not here to add pressure. He has agreed to meet me in a few months! We went long distance before we split, but now by chance im moving up to city near him!
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 10, 2020 at 12:35 am
Hi Jess it is common for exes to draw a line so that they are not giving you false hope. Be sure not to have emotional conversations keep conversations short positive and make sure it is you ending conversations first
anu
April 6, 2020 at 8:58 pm
hi, i texted my ex , complementing on his new video, but he did not reply. and that was one month ago. before that, he has texted me casually a few times and i replied casually both times. nothing worth mentioning. but then why did he go MIA suddenly? i cant try again and be humiliated again. but i really want to talk.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 6, 2020 at 11:12 pm
Hi Anu, I would reach out asking for advice on something rather than trying to have casual conversations. You need to get him investing in conversations and you need to be the one who leaves the conversation first.
Sia
April 6, 2020 at 11:54 am
Can I stop a relationship before it starts? He is flirting online with some girls and I thnk one of them (at least) is corresponding. Since we are in quarantine he won’t travel to meet her but they can get closer and closer and after this… Also, I can’t do anuthing to be UG since we can’t do anything with the lockdown, unless I start to post sexy selfies, which is not my style and he knows, it would be suspicious. We were good getting closer but we haven’t talked in a few days (and I don’t want to initiate, I need him to start) and now another girls are taking “my” place. I don’t know what to do, have I lost him for another girl? What can I do to recover him before it gets too late?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 6, 2020 at 11:22 pm
Hi Sia, look up the being there method and apply this to your situation – giving that you have done your NC already. But you can not stop him getting into a relationship with anyone else, you can only follow the program being the best version of yourself and letting your ex see how great you are
France Bonay
April 5, 2020 at 12:35 am
Hello. I was with my childrens father for 15 years. I want him back. Hes in another relationship but I know he still loves me.
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 9, 2020 at 9:10 pm
Hi there, so you need to complete a limited no contact for 45 days where you only speak with him about the children and nothing else. You work on yourself and follow the information about the Holy Trinity, and then you need to start following the being there method
Tyler
April 4, 2020 at 7:04 pm
Okay so I’ve heard of this no contact rule before and used it in slightly a different way where I was tryin to get my ex back after she broke up with me and then one day I said a few final things and let it be. 3 or 4 weeks later I believe she called me outta nowhere… boom it worked .. but no 3 or 4 years down the road I’m goin through a break up with someone else and she has 2 kids and she broke up with me after a lil over a year and yes I deserve it but I want her back and right now her head is keeping her from coming back she hasn’t texted me but can I kinda do the same thing here? We haven’t talked in a week and 2 days but been broke up for a month… just curious if it I’m lucky enough for a 3rd shot with this girl and her 2 boys
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 4, 2020 at 8:27 pm
Hi Tyler yes you need to complete NC for 30 days, working on your Holy Trinity, you mentioned you deserved to be broken up with so if it is something you need to work on yourself then make that your focus during this time
m
April 4, 2020 at 6:05 pm
hey chris, i found your website about a month after my ex and i had broke up and i was wondering how much it’ll effect my chances to start NC a month after you two broke up? i occasionally would talk to him like every once in a couple of days or weeks but nearly every single time it would be me gnatting and ending up with me begging for him back. my sister even checked up on him and he told her that she should stop talking to him because it’s weird for him. he even directly told her “no, her and i never getting back together.” i don’t know how much that killed my chances but i started NC two weeks ago and i feel that he has completely moved on from me and i started a complete NC too late..
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 9, 2020 at 11:13 pm
Hi M, NC can still be effective after a break up giving that you apply the advice given and stick to the 30 days NC without breaking if you hear from your ex in that time.
Neha
April 4, 2020 at 8:21 am
Hi Chris,
I’ve been going through ur website for some days n its grt d way u r helping broken hearts to heal…so i got motivated to share my story also…me n my ex know each other for a decade now.. But became friends in 2017…n romance started in july last yr… although he was flirting always right from beginning..i was his crush… so ultimately i also started loving him.. He would be in touch whole day texting calling daily ,very caring n loving… we became intimate also… Then in late dec 19 he became very bsy in job..he told me abt it n asked me to cooperate.. Initially i understood then in jan i felt he is ignoring me n i became insecure .. So few times complained him…he started to get bit annoyed n distant , less loving n caring..still it was going..on 13 feb it was my birthday n i expected him to visit me.. But he didn’t (wished me although) n i got disappointed when confronted rather then be apologizing he blasted n said he is done, he is no more in love, i pleaded n said sorry for whole one week but he became completely different person.. It was like talking to a wall… lastly on 22 feb he said I’m not interested anymore, don’t call or text me n don’t expect any text or call from me… My heart broke …we didn’t talked to 5 days then i congratulated him on birth of his nephew n he responded nicely … I cut short conversation after few texts n contacted again after two days… Saying nice dp he said thanks. Next day i started routine conversation, how r u n all n he didn’t replied so i left him alone for 9 days he never contacted me… again i texted him on 13 mar.. Commenting on his status of whatsapp he just replied hmm… Till then i started following ur website.. on 15 mar i reached him with i need ur expertise text n he replied positively… I ended conversation short as u said waited two days n texted abt watching a movie he like n reminds me of him this time he just texted ok.. Next day i tried to take conversation further but he didn’t responded … so i started NC from 20 mar.. N it just seems to me that he will never contact me first.. He never did right from 13 feb..he is acting very stubborn… I’m so sad thinking whats on his mind.. He used to b after me like mad.. texting all the times even when we were just friends.. He used to say he need my care n support in his life always… N now its almost two months n no feelings.. He have muted my status on whatsapp … don’t like or comment on my posts… But didn’t blocked me anywhere… was he just using me? Has his feelings died? Was it all my fault? I don’t know what to expect even after NC…will he respond positively ? Please advise me.. what u think ? Can i get him back? Should i do 21 days or 30 days NC? I love him n need his support in my life.. . Please help me… do reply….
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 12, 2020 at 8:35 am
Hi Neha, I would suggest that you do a 45 day NC as you continued to try and get him to talk after a few days each time, he has not had a long break from hearing form you. I suggest during that time you look at the Holy Trinity and apply this to your life. From there you can plan your texts about his interests like you did above but this time you need to not start any conversations with “how are you” as it seems he is open to talking to you, but not small talk yet – this is where we say you are skipping the value chain, first you need to get him investing in conversation with you again. And then as you work up the value chain you can have the small talk conversations
Alice
April 3, 2020 at 8:42 am
My ex broke up with me last summer after being together 6 years due to some behavioural issues I was having but we continued to talk and meet up every few weeks as friends. After seeing I had changed inJanuary he said he wanted to give things another go even though he didn’t feel ready to. We got back together for a month but I could tell that his heart wasn’t totally in it and there wasn’t an equal amount of effort being put in so I ended it, making it clear that I love him and want to be with him but can’t make the relationship work on my own. He was upset and said he didn’t know why he didn’t feel able to mentally bring to the relationship what was needed and that being together didn’t feel right but neither did not being together, he says he thinks maybe it had all been too soon for him to try again. I cut off contact this time telling him to only come to me if he wanted to give this another go. I didn’t hear anything from him but I ran into him very briefly 3 weeks later. When he asked how I was I said that I was moving on and said he looked upset but said that he understood he wasn’t giving me an alternative. He then told me he was depressed and had started seeing a therapist (which I have been asking him to do for years) but that it hadn’t really been helping. We said goodbye and continued no contact. I messaged him 2 weeks to check that his family were ok amidst the corona virus situation and we exchanged a few messages about that before he then didn’t reply to my last one. I don’t plan to reach out to him and will continue with no contact but my worry is that no contact is just making him realise he doesn’t want to be with me. I worry that because we broke up back in summer last year he has had a long time to get used to the idea of not being together and therefore is now fine with the idea and is well on the way to getting over me with no contact just helping that?
EBR Team Member: Shaunna
April 12, 2020 at 6:08 pm
Hi Alice, so I would not suggest going back into a NC if you have spent three weeks in silence and managed to have somewhat positive conversation through text too, the reason he stopped responding as the probably got “bored” not to sound mean. But the point of conversations with your ex now is to be short, fun, interesting and you leave before he gets bored. Meaning you end the conversation short. I would look at some texting videos that Chris has done and use them to create conversations and ideas on what to talk to him about and make sure you end the conversation at its peak!