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The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
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The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
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Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
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Post categories
Jennifer
January 22, 2015 at 12:56 am
My now ex and I have been split up since October but he has been telling me he still loves me pretty much everyday, while at the same time saying I need to be honest about what I’m doing ( I’m working and taking care of my kids) the other day which was the day before his birthday he came over to his mothers house ( I was spending time with her) and I had not seen him in person since October.. He tossed the birthday cards me and my kids got him aside without opening them and then asked if I wanted to talk outside.. So we went outside to talk.. He was texting while texting and I asked him if he could just talk to me and he said ” I love you TIFF but we have to work things out before we get back together” IM NOT TIFF… IM JENNIFER…. TIFF IS WHO HE WAS TEXTING AND WHO HE IS DATING,.. I don’t want him back but I want him to regret how wrong he did me… I’m a good women.. I don’t deserve how he treats me
admin
January 22, 2015 at 4:58 pm
Wow, he seriously said that to your face?
Ally
January 19, 2015 at 11:53 pm
Hi Chris. My long distance partner (interstate) recently broke up with me as he couldn’t stand the distance and has told me he found someone else there. Since then I’ve applied the no contact rule and I’m up to almost 2 weeks now. In that time he has texted me twice which I have ignored
He contacted me again and left a message saying he will be in my town in a few days time (for work) and would really like to catch up. I’m not sure what to do – on one hand I don’t want to break the no contact rule as I know how important it is. But on the other hand, I still really like him and given this is long distance, I don’t know how long the no contact period should be, and I’m worried that if I don’t see him I might drive him further away from me (I’m assuming he is still with this other girl as he hasn’t said anything). And I’m worried that I may never see him again…
Ally
admin
January 20, 2015 at 3:47 pm
I really think you should finish it out.
You won’t drive him further away.
Ally
January 21, 2015 at 11:39 am
Thank you so so much for your reply Chris! You have no idea how much I appreciate it! This has really been on my mind constantly the past few days!
He hasn’t contact me again since then.. so I’m guessing we won’t be meeting up as I have not responded to him and he hasn’t asked again. It really breaks my heart knowing he’s around but intentionally not seeing him. But also I’m working on the long haul so I shall take your advice and keep ignoring him..
but one more quick question Chris – does it make my situation any different or should I be behaving any differently given he lives almost 1000miles away and has eluded he’s found someone else there? I really want to get him back as I think we work really well if not for the distance, and I finally have the opportunity to move to his state in 6 months time if I wanted to…
admin
January 21, 2015 at 3:22 pm
Not too much…
If he has found someone else there is always that chance its a rebound. Especially if he moved on very quickly.
Amarie
January 13, 2015 at 3:09 am
Hi, Chris.
I think I could really use your help. I’ve been dating a man that I really like for the past 4.5 months. He’s white, I’m black, and I’m 8 years older. We live in the South. We dated for a month, and then I didn’t hear from him for the summer. Around Labor Day, he started contacting me again, and I decided to give him another chance. We were great. We have great physical chemistry and spent a lot of time laughing. He was always helpful around the house if I needed his help, and he’d volunteer to clean up after I made dinner. He was always supportive of me in every way, and I was of him. In November, he told me he’d been on a couple of dates with two different people, but that he wasn’t seeing anyone else. In December, he told me that wasn’t entirely true, and that he’d seen one girl more than once. I asked if he they had what we had, and he said, “Definitely not. What we have is rare.” I reacted angrily to hearing about the other girl and asked him to leave, but we eventually made up and spent time together over the holidays. Dinner was great, and we exchanged gifts.
He’s very religious, and I am less so, but wanted to learn more about his faith and attend church with him. He initially agreed to take me, but later said no since the girl he’d been out with a few times also goes to his church. (By the way, he says he told that girl about me). He has serious reservations about premarital sex, but we started sleeping together after 3.5 months of seeing each other. We have unbelievable chemistry. Neither of us had slept with anyone in 2 years. He’d said we shouldn’t be, but we continued. I tried to stop it a couple of times, but I eventually gave in to him. I regret that now.
I should also mention that some of his friends would have an issue with him dating a black woman and that his dad would have to “get used to it”. According to him, if he decided that he wanted to marry me, then he would do it without reservation.
Well, a little before New Years he told me that we couldn’t see each other anymore. He said I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever been with…,and the sexiest. He said he felt guilt ridden over having sex; that it was awesome when we were together but that it “tore him up” when we were apart and he thought about it. He also said that he felt that for major decisions in his life, he was concerned that I’d expect him to come to me instead of going to God first. I’m not even certain what that means, but I was heartbroken. I love him. I was really blindsided by this. When he left my place 2 days earlier, he said he’d give me a call to see if I wanted to watch football later. Next thing I know, he’s telling me he’s done. I was at work when he told me over the phone.
A week after that, he texted me to ask how I was and to see when he could come by and drop off two items that are worth $12 total. I waited four days and texted him back with a day and time. I expect to see him later this week, but he hasn’t responded to my text yet (I sent it this morning). I feel like he texted me because he misses me, but why not just say that?
Is this salvageable? How does a man go from saying that he’s never met anyone like me and that he doesn’t get why I like him because I could have any man I wanted to just leaving?
I’ve already bought your book and plan to use it. Any other advice is really appreciated. Thank you so much. I really love and miss him.
admin
January 19, 2015 at 3:39 pm
Its salvagable.
And a man goes from saying that to breaking up when something happens that makes him uneasy about the future. there is probalby some type of information he isn’t telling you.
Amarie
January 16, 2015 at 10:31 pm
Does anyone have any suggestions?
April
January 9, 2015 at 1:28 am
Hi. So glad to talk to u I’ve seen the other women are telling u everything so im gona make it short and sweet im a young woman who hasn’t seen her ex in 10 years I’ve dated several men since im short sm and sweet my ex i finally contacted on facebook in the end i said you go be with someone else you can too made him flip over mars since than I’ve been told your mine called mean and nice names soooo beutifull i made a warent were he’s not allowed to come in nc but i got a 50 b says hes got to show up here the 14th the last thing he sent me were several xxxxxxooooo keeps on saying he’s gona be here soon in big words and keeps saying ill call u ill call u later he has a young daughter here do u think hell come or not or ill win all courtt cases cause he doesn’t show up no he won’t show up every woman,he’s stalked hes in there life romantically when they want him none have pressed charges he got arrested for both them for contacting them yet goes back all the time cause he’s crazy obsesd for them cause they do not want him he doesn’t know hasn’t contacted me in three days even w out contact order didnt know i followed charges 2 yeah i still love him want to be w him he thinks im his soulmate thank u pls get back soon before 14th when i go to court
admin
January 19, 2015 at 3:25 pm
Still hung up on the ex from 10 years ago.
Jen
January 8, 2015 at 6:03 pm
Hi Chris,
Love the website. Here is my current dilemma. I started dating a guy I knew for 10 years back in July. I love him & he loves me alot. But he recently (yesterday) found I had lied to him for 6 months about talking to my ex boyfriend. My ex is my friend (well was now) he was there for me through alot. Now my ex-boyfriend moved out this morning, and he works out of town for a week so he’s gone. Last night when he found out we had a big fight he said he wasn’t leaving he just needs to figure this out and try to trust me again. I told him I would do whatever it takes to make this right again. Then this morning he packed up and left to go to work but took everything he owned with him. He said he would text me later. Now I know NC is usually the right way to go but he doesn’t believe anything I say so I don’t want to ignore him when I am not sure if he’s gone for good or not. Please help!
admin
January 19, 2015 at 3:13 pm
He fought ove ryou just talking to your ex?
Or were you living with your ex?
N.M
January 7, 2015 at 4:07 pm
10years is a long time to be together
Yet…today is day1 of my serious NC
Serious cos I am not, 24 x 7, composing messages in my mind which I would, could write him..
Just finished a 5 day period of involuntary NC
I was/am very very mad at him, from my side I was in NC
But he turned it around playing clueless when actually he is just darn stubborn n clever.
So taking you up on your offer that you could offer some help if there is a wierd circumstance where breaking of NC is foretold..
It’s my birthday next week at day 9
What should I do if he contacts Then?
It would be very boorish to not respond. Or???
N.M
January 7, 2015 at 4:12 pm
Also re the break in NC yesterday
I once again reiterated my ‘demands’ expectations etc,
Vis-a-vis his explaining , answering, apologising re past cheating episodes.
One serious as in physical infidelity for which I’m waiting for something more than sorry since 5, yes 5 years,
One episode right after that , which I got confirmation of only 6 months ago.
He just will not sit down n answer my questions or give any explanation
So, what do I do?
Please help.
N.M
January 24, 2015 at 5:46 pm
I’m on reverse psychology
Started with he cheated, proceeded to 2.0 then here peppered with a few emails.
Total drama today. I called the girl who had called me 6 months ago! I am suffering a panic attack.
The post right before..
Any ideas?
Anna
January 7, 2015 at 1:42 am
My boyfriend and I have broken up last spring. I’m 25 and he’s a few years older than i am. We were together for a little over 2 years. We lived together with his father. Our relationship was amazing, his family were always supportive and great people. My boyfriend was really the nicest guy i had ever met before – maybe too nice which can be a turn off haha. A year into the relationship had told me he think it’d be best to take a break and see where things so and so we did. I was sad, of course. Then after 3 weeks we were back living together again. After that i was always so scared he would do that to me again. When i say scared it’s because when he insinuated the break, it was with no emotion and i had never seen that come from him before. Fast forward to the year after (last spring) same exact month. We went to go see a movie and afterward hangout with my girlfriend all had a great time. We come home and while i’m putting my things down, i see him acing like he’s very anxious (he usually gets panic attacks) so i was worried. When i had asked him what was wrong he had his hand over his mouth like something bad happened and proceeded to tell me that he wanted to break up. Now this was not like any surprise break up. It was a surprise to me because we were so closely bonded. He led me to believe we were both just as happy in our relationship. Always smiling, always laughing. This wasn’t the case. It’s like everything i knew just turned my back on me before i could even notice it was happening. He mentioned it was because we were too comfortable, routine, and thought that we were just not meant to be together, though, he loved me very much but was not willing to work on us. Fast forward to now January 2015. I’m meeting him tonight b/c i have to gather the rest of my things from his house due to my upcoming move out of state for a few months, and i really don’t know how to act/say besides being confidant. Now during the first few months of what i considered a break i was in fact calling and texting him a lot mostly because he wouldn’t get back to me or he made false promises which would make me feel worse and desperate. Though i was so upset at the time i couldn’t think clearly. I was able to get the first half of my stuff finally after a month of trying to contact him. Everything went smoothly. I told him i was sad and it’s unfortunate what happened and asked if he still wanted to be friends. He agreed but didn’t know if i still wanted to be his after he treated me so poorly. Anyways that is most of the story. I still love him very much and like you said even though i haven’t moved on, i moved on. I can try to apply this advice or anymore that you may have to my situation, and hope that maybe something happens down the line. I forgot to mention when i had finally stopped calling/texting him was in October. We maybe have talked twice since then.
admin
January 19, 2015 at 2:56 pm
DEfinitely give the no contact rule a try. I actually think it could be extremely beneficial for you.
Britt
January 6, 2015 at 10:51 pm
My ex left me four months ago for a mutual friend and her three kids they recently just moved in together about two months ago.. We were in a relationship for 12 years. On dec 18 he stated that I was the love of his life and he didn’t know how to fix things, that he thinks about his decision everyday, and he cares and worries that I will move on. I have just started no contact the first of the year. We would text for hours a day and than he became distant. Tired of him only responding when convienit for him. Not sure if it was the holidays or what. Is there hope? How long should no contact be? Or is it to late to implement?
admin
January 19, 2015 at 2:52 pm
12 years.
Were you ever engaged or married?
Brittany
January 20, 2015 at 12:04 am
No we were not engaged or marriage. His work was not steady and I was still in school we were going to wait. We had our kids name picked out and wanted to get married at disney. we had it all planned.
I ignored him for two weeks. He texted about his brothers deployment and I responded thank you for sharing. I know wrong. Since then he has tried contacting everyday. In the four months since the break up i lost weight got a better paying job and focusing on me. Its hard not responding to him.
admin
January 20, 2015 at 3:44 pm
Well, you seem to be doing well believe it or not.
Britt
January 21, 2015 at 2:30 am
Thank you. Any other suggestions? Go back to no contact?
admin
January 21, 2015 at 3:15 pm
For a bit yes.
Also, lets talk about your communication with him. Do you have any killer texts planned?
Britt
January 22, 2015 at 2:29 am
His favorite comedian is playing soon. And I am going on a cruise soon and he has always wanted to go. Something in the lines of oh hey Chris is playing in Hollywood Saturday night I thought of you. You should go.
Our last text said. Him. You should of never got rid of your Honda lol
Me: you should do never got rid of me lol
Him: wow lol.
Me: emoji of an angel
Him: always
My thing is when I talk to him it’s like having a piece of cake. And I have withdrawls when not and I want the whole cake.
admin
January 22, 2015 at 5:01 pm
Sounds like you have a pretty decent rapport going with him.
Kay
January 5, 2015 at 11:33 pm
Hey Chris!
Me and my ex been broken up for a month and a week now and I miss him terribly. I want him back, but he doesn’t seem to want me back. I think he is talking to another girl.
We were off and on, but this time we been broken up for awhile. And he keep saying lets be friends instead. I made all the mistakes to drive him away, even when he was trying to come to terms of agreement with me. But it was always on a friendship level. I want a relationship.
But he says I constantly trip on him, put everything on social media, and my attitude about everything. Well if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, even though his family wishes we get back together… How do i get him to miss me and want me back instead of the other girl?
I was just going to give him space for about 2 and a half weeks and talk to him when we’re back on campus without directly saying what I want. He says he care and he would be there for me… But I want a relationship. any advice ?
admin
January 6, 2015 at 2:02 pm
Have you attempted no contact yet?
Kay
January 7, 2015 at 12:27 am
No sir. I begged and pleaded with him. For the whole time we were not together because other times it worked. His family make me have hope, but he changed his number due to someone playing on his phone too much. He told me he was changing his number and I have not recieced it
I love him and i even attempted moving on, but I always seem I can’t. Everyone around me is saying give it time. But what if he is really really done with me. And don’t love me anymore
Elsie
January 23, 2015 at 2:55 am
Hi Kay,
I saw your post and it sounded so similar to mine that I had to respond. It’s been about a month and a half since my ex boyfriend and have spoke. He dumped me while I was in the hospital and I really needed him. We’ve been off and on prior to this break up but never gone this long without speaking. I was close with his family so I did call his mom upset because I wanted closure. I didn’t understand how he could say he loved me but abandon me when I needed him the most. When people say to move on, it sounds way too easy. Trust me I have literally cried everyday up until last week. But as hard as it is you just have to keep living. I find myself reading blogs a lot at night until I grow tired to keep my mind from wandering. Stay busy! I literally have to force myself to go to work, the gym, and I’m teaching myself how to sew! And I do feel better, I just haven’t let go of that hope. Not having contact with them is difficult but it’s better to stay in contact because then they know that you’re still there. So whenever/ if they decide to come back, you’re the ‘fall back girl’. Be more than that! With guys unfortunatly you have to take yourself out of the equation for them to see things differently. But in that time pamper yourself, try to feel good about you because there is no guarantee that he’s the one for you! Sorry this is long, it’s literally my first post ever, but I think sharing can help.
AC
December 31, 2014 at 2:58 am
Hey Chris,
I’ve been back and forth with my ex for about 7 months now, mostly because I’m not as strong minded as I wish I was and kept caving. Anyways, yesterday was the last straw. He wants to be with me but he doesn’t make any type of effort. Just all talk and no action. Long story short, he pissed me off and I know I deserve better.
My question is:
Even though we’ve been back and forth for soooo long (in the beginning he chased me and now it’s reversed) do you think he’ll try contacting me again? I specifically told him to leave me alone for good.
But while I completely give up on saving the relationship, Just knowing that he’ll try again will certainly boost my self esteem. As petty as it sounds, knowing that he’s suffering will make me feel better.
Precious
December 23, 2014 at 12:27 am
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and 4 months now. Right after our first anniversary, I found out that he was cheating on me. He has another girl. I talked to him about it. He broke up with me. He told me he loves the other girl much more than he loves me. I didn’t give up. I got rid of the girl and won my boyfriend back. He told me he’s so thankful that I didn’t give up on him because only then did he realize that he doesn’t really love the girl. Then on our 3rd anniversary, he broke up with me again, he didn’t tell me the reason why. Then I found out he was seeing another girl again. This time, I didn’t try to fight for him anymore. After 3 months, he contacted me again, apologized to me and asked me to come back. Yes, yes, the stupid me forgave him, accepted him and started a new. Then everything went good. We never fail to argue about stupid little things but made sure we fix everything before we go to sleep. Just recently I started working in a call center, because I wanted to have a lot of money to buy him the gadget that he keeps on looking at when we go to the mall. We didn’t have enough time for each other while I was at work but I made sure I make him feel how much I love him every single day. On our 5th year 3rd month, he started acting cold. I was bothered. I couldn’t work effectively anymore. I found out that he’s courting another girl. I asked him about it. He kept on denying. Until one day we met I showed him all the evidences I have, he admitted everything, he was sorry, he broke up with me. He told me he loves the girl. And he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. Right now we don’t talk to each other, no nothing. I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost. I’m no longer trying to fix things up between us. But I don’t want him hanging out with that girl. What can I do? What are my chances?
admin
December 23, 2014 at 3:20 pm
This guy is bad news.
His is constantly cheating on you…
Tiffany
December 17, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Hey Chris,
I’m in love with my boyfriend and we’ve been together for 9 months. Recently, in the past month he’s pulled away. Hardly calls or texts. Spending time with him went from long periods of times, to barely a half hour. I’ve been feeling like I’m not important anymore. In all honesty, I really want the relationship to work, but it just seems like the only option for me is to leave him. If I leave him, will the no contact rule work in my favor and he will regret losing me… or is there another way to somehow gain our relationship back? Please let me know as soon as you can. A part of my heart tends to die everyday, because it’s that bad. Like I don’t even have a boyfriend anymore. Yet he still tells me he loves me when we do get the chance to talk. Somehow his actions though, doesn’t show it at all.
Sincerely,
Tiffany
felicia
December 15, 2014 at 5:13 pm
Chris, i want to thank you for all the guides you put up on here, i’ve read almost all of them multiple times and i will definitely recommend your e-book and your site, but i have decided to give up on my ex. It took exactly 2 months after us not seeing each other anymore for me to realize that he never cared about me. I sent what i thought was my best “remember the good times” text and got no reply after multiple neutral replies. I kept my plan to get him back a secret from everyone until last night when i spilled to a good friend of mine and thats when she pointed it out, which was very obvious but i was blinded by focusing on the very few positives. Im seeing a guy that is 100x better than him, and i want to now focus on that and becoming a better person in life which i see as a win-win situation as it will also make him regret shunning me, which i know that will happen and i know i will not ever welcome him back because i never deserved being treated like that and he most definitely does not deserve me. Best wishes to you!
Sara
December 11, 2014 at 9:35 pm
Hello Chirs,
My Bf and I of three years broke up about three weeks ago. I didnt know about your site but I was following the rules pretty closely (only business things, not contacting him). About ten days in he did try to contact me to talk about a shared interest. I knew better than to contact him but i still wrote a one word answer back “awesome.” Does that ruin my chances since i broke the NC rule at the optional time? We are long distance and I have heard through the grape vine that he is doing ok without me. Does that make my chances grim?
thanks
admin
December 15, 2014 at 5:23 am
No not grim at all…
You broke the NC but I think you didn’t break it that badly to be honest.
Sara
December 15, 2014 at 1:20 pm
Hello again Chris,
We broke the NC and had a long talk about everything…. Essentially it is the long distance factor. So I am going to try the NC from now on but i think there is not a good chance because of this. Some people dont want to come back ever right?
Sara
December 12, 2014 at 10:25 pm
Also other than that, he has not attempted to contact me. It seems like the purpose of the NC rule is to frustrate an ex who continues to contact you after the break up. So what is the point in my situation?
Alia
December 11, 2014 at 8:14 am
hey Chris
i broke up with my boyfriend 6 months ago, at the starting i dint felt so strongly attracted towrds him bt now i m sure dat i really really love him bt he says dat he cant be mine n he’s clarifying dat…. bt i want him back.. he says to me Move On in LIFE he dont feel anything four me.. but still chats with me every single day he once told me dat he has moved on in life n he hav a girlfriend but den after a mnth he confessed dat he just lied to me so dat i could move on thinking dat he has moved on.. I dont knw wath to do i feel very strong for him.. bt dont know weather will he ever have feelings for me.. please help me
admin
December 15, 2014 at 5:19 am
He says hes moved on from you yet he still talks to you?
Alia
December 15, 2014 at 4:16 pm
yaa he talks to me on phone, even chats with me oftenly..
bt says dat he cant b mine
n 2 days ago he called me n we talked 4 more than 3 hours and he just took the topic to our past that “u remember on one of our common frndz birthday, we had so much fun n u fall of frm the chair, oh dat was so funny.. n u knw… ”
just dis he told n den i dnt knw wat happend he just changed the topic n den told lev bye… wat dose dis mean now yarr!!
Christine
December 10, 2014 at 3:08 am
Hi, I sent you an email with more information. But would the NC rule apply if I only had a three month relationship? He could have simply lost interest or is just not that into me. The relationship was not that long. He also had a very long term relationship end where he was devastated about 7 months before we became a couple. I am not sure if I am his rebound but I met his parents. He was not my rebound. He says he is confused. What do you suggest? Would the NC still work? Thank you!
Christine
December 10, 2014 at 3:22 am
Also, he already started to date. He said he didn’t have much experience in relationship due to the long term relationship. He says he is not ready for one. He did date people before he met me and only got into a relationship with me after his L-T relationship break up.
Christine
December 11, 2014 at 3:25 am
Please let me know if NC would work in my situation with my ex? thank you!
Scarlett
December 15, 2014 at 9:32 pm
Hello Christine, did you get any reply from Chris, if so please share, i am sort of in a same situation. Thank you in advance.
Christine
December 24, 2014 at 3:08 pm
Hi Scarlett,
Nope, I did not get a response. =( Please let me know if you get an answer. thanks!
admin
December 29, 2014 at 2:32 pm
Sorry I have been late responding.
Christmas was pretty busy and I took some time off.
Christine
January 20, 2015 at 12:39 am
Hi Chris!
Could you please provide what you think should be done? Thank you!
admin
January 20, 2015 at 3:47 pm
About what part of your situation specifically?
Febe
January 24, 2015 at 7:08 pm
I would like to know your answer also i am in the same situation except after we broke up my ex said he couldn’t commit after his l.t. relationship of 3 years. As soon as we broke up he started dating and he got serious with Nother girl. They have been dating for 4 days so far. Is there anyway i can get my ex back? Will the no contact rule work in my situation?
Sara
December 1, 2014 at 5:03 pm
Hello,
My name is Sara . It’s been 7 weeks that me and my boyfriend have broken up . Before we broke up , his problem is that he doesn’t and can’t be in a committed and serious relationship , due to his personality and work schedule ! The call was unfinished , and he said he’ll call me back,which he didn’t . And two days after he broke up with a text message , saying that he doesn’t think it’s right ! Up until that text , i was unsure if we’ve broken up or still together, it wasn’t clear enough. So after he sent me a text , i called him two times, which he didn’t pick up, and did the worst i could do , and begged him right away, and of course he didn’t respond to that either . But i didn’t contact him until 3 weeks , out of weakness i couldn’t hold it for a full month !I told him about my birthday and reminded him of the Formula 1 race (which he LOVED), which i did not get a response. So, as i read on your site, i did the no contact all over again,which today the 4 weeks of the last time i sent him a text.
I’ve been working out , studying and running errands more than ever.And taking care of myself more !
SO now , that it is almost 60 days of the breakup and the time to contact him, i’m blocked, i have no clue what to send to him, what to do. Btw he’s a super busy guy.
But what i know is , as weird as it sounds , i really think and know we have a lot in common, i mean A LOT.
So , can you give me just a hint on what to do next !
I’ll appreciate you for life !
Thank you.
admin
December 2, 2014 at 2:29 pm
You are blocked by him or you are just blocked b/c you don’t know what to send.
Sara
December 2, 2014 at 3:55 pm
My mind is blocked ! Because i don’t know what to send , to get him interested enough to reply . I know it’s not a road to take overnight, but i’m sort of afraid of taking the step , although i want him back so bad !
Please help me out .
admin
December 3, 2014 at 4:38 pm
Ok, well can you think of anything?
Maybe you can run a few ideas by me.
Sara
December 3, 2014 at 6:35 pm
Sounds great ! Thank you.
1. First thing that i had in mind was to send him a “surreal” picture message with a message , saying that ( i said Surreal , because his major was in art and architecture ,and he’s an architect , so he may look to find a meaning in the picture ) :
“I came across this picture yesterday , and it somehow made me think of you in a while .To be honest , i don’t know the exact reason , it was just a feeling . I hope you’re doing well .”
But then i thought it would be more interesting to write it in French . He knows i’m into learning new languages , i’ve started Italian a few months back , and i’ve just started French . He know a little Italian, but he doesn’t know French at all , so it might make him engage into it , and look for an English translation !
2nd :
I don’t think you will agree with this one ,but, i thought , he might not answer any phone call or text message by my number, i try to contact him with a different number and anonymously recommend him to watch a movie , that i thought he would like . He might want to know who it is .
Btw Chris , i forgot to mention that , he was my teacher in the university , one of the reasons he thought it wasn’t right was that it’s not a good idea to date a student (which i was back then) , but the course finished 2 months ago.
Any ideas from you will be better i am sure !
admin
December 4, 2014 at 2:04 am
Hmm… he wasn’t married or anything like that right?
Sara
December 4, 2014 at 7:49 am
And , his wife lives in another country .
Sara
December 4, 2014 at 2:20 pm
What i mean was the Ex-wife !
Sara
December 4, 2014 at 7:46 am
No he wasn’t . He is divorced though , it’s been 2 years .
Sarah
December 1, 2014 at 3:52 pm
Hi chris ,
I completed NC rule its been over a month since i last saw my bf who havent spoken to me at all during the NC its been a month since we last talked before I did the NC to be exact I now want your feedback in regards to the second text to send to continue to lure him into talking to me like we used to not to mention is that he lives in another country we met when I was on holiday their where I have family members like my dad who also resides there and it’s a little tricky to text him i don’t want to use the jealousy technique because the reason we broke up was because I spoke and texted to his best friend behind his back although , we didn’t flirt or anything I planed to meet him and then said no because I didn’t have any intentions other than friendship with his friend but my bf got so mad at the time and said he can’t trust me and that we are no longer a couple only friends however , before I left we met and he said although we are no longer lovers / couple he believes there is hope but he needs time because he is still angry about the things I done there was also an incident where I turned into a gnat texter and he felt disrespected cos , he was with his family he forgave me but still not ready to move past it i think its because he had been cheated on before by previous gf so he thinks I’ll do the same . The truth is that he hasn’t been making time or effort during the time we were dating he would ignore calls and texts and we fought a lot about that I admit I was clingy but it hurt me a lot when he neglected me and he kept saying it was because he was single for a longtime until we met so he isn’t used to calling often or texting because he lost it etc.. Now that I successfully completed NC I texted him about a song he played to me when we were on a road trip date and perhaps give him a hint that it reminded me of the good times and if it also reminds him .
Below is the text draft :
“Hey, I stumbled on that song “Versace ,Versace” , it made me think of the good time we had on that day trip to Dubai you kept playing it in your car and sent a hashtag on snap-chat of the song fun times we laughed so much that day made me think of you again in a while 🙂 do you still listen to it and remember the good time we had ?”
He replied after a few hours with on word : OK
admin
December 2, 2014 at 2:25 pm
Hmmm… looks like you have to go back into NC for a week. Maybe you came out too strong.
Sarah
December 1, 2014 at 2:00 pm
Hi chris ,
I completed the no contact rule my bf replied to my message which was about reminiscing of a road trip we did when we were dating and I used the concept of a song he liked to remind him like a hint . He only replied saying “OK . I dunno what I can do its very neutral . My ex always been stubborn although we dated for 4 months only it was on and off as we argued & fought over his lack of contact or effort to engage with me also , I blame my cling invests & lack of experience because , he was my very first bf in addition I also made mistakes that initiated him breaking up with me his last words were that we are not a couple / lovers only friends due to my mistakes which were that I talked to him best friend behind his back although there were no cheating or flirting involved in my part he still can’t get past it . He has forgiven me but need time as he can’t trust me also he told me that there is hope we will one day be together .now am on a verge of loosing hope , he only replied neutrally with one word ” Ok I feel hurt because he was wrong to on his part he failed to be the bf he should have been he was distant and careless which was the reason why we fought as a result I seeked comfort talking to his friend I know its wrong in so many levels but I fell out with all my friends at the time and his best friend reach out to me I was merely interested in friendship only had no intention to cheat with his friend .
Sarah
December 1, 2014 at 3:47 pm
Hi chris ,
I completed the no contact rule my bf replied to my message which was about reminiscing of a road trip we did when we were dating and I used the concept of a song he liked to remind him like a hint . He only replied saying “OK . I dunno what I can do its very neutral . My ex always been stubborn although we dated for 4 months only it was on and off as we argued & fought over his lack of contact or effort to engage with me also , I blame my cling invests & lack of experience because , he was my very first bf in addition I also made mistakes that initiated him breaking up with me his last words were that we are not a couple / lovers only friends due to my mistakes which were that I talked to him best friend behind his back although there were no cheating or flirting involved in my part he still can’t get past it . He has forgiven me but need time as he can’t trust me also he told me that there is hope we will one day be together .now am on a verge of loosing hope , he only replied neutrally with one word ” Ok I feel hurt because he was wrong to on his part he failed to be the bf he should have been he was distant and careless which was the reason why we fought as a result I seeked comfort talking to his friend I know its wrong in so many levels but I fell out with all my friends at the time and his best friend reach out to me I was merely interested in friendship only had no intention to cheat with his friend .
camry
December 1, 2014 at 12:19 pm
Me and my significant other seperated a month after we had our second child together. I will say that we had issue’s during our relationship but we always rode through it together. With no questions about separating. He started communicating with another female and decided there was no hope between us anymore. Its actually really pathetic seeing as were adults and have kids together. I mean you cant run away from the problems they will always be there. Now I read your article about minimum contact between parents that split. But he will text my phone every morning wishing me and the kids a good morning when I dont reply he calls. Yes ive begged, yes I’ve pleaded call me weak but we should try we have children together and been in a relationship for some time. I understand this new female makes him “happy” but that wont necessarily be forever I mean we just had a child why jump into something so quickly. He comes to our home but now just me and the kids gives me a hug when he leaves kisses me on the forehead or cheek. Tell our kids their beautiful like me ect but im left with the fact hes going on dates with another female spending majority of his time with her and money while im on side taking care of his children struggling. Then he has the nerve to mess with my head telling me his hearts not there anymore but yet kissing my forhead hugging me when he leaves placing his hand on my lower back, then sliding it down my arm and holding my hand. Even when he leaves before getting in his car he waves bye. Even after I told him it gives me hope. Now I put my foot down told him I want support every month and im moving on. It ma have been unnecessary to add that but ive been pleading with him to come back and work on us and being a family. He knows I feel like he’s sending mixed signals but yet he still does. Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. I dont even know if I want him back honestly. After all the b.s. and dating another women my hearts angry. But I guess still want advice.
admin
December 1, 2014 at 3:49 pm
This new female seems like a homewrecker to me… Just sayin…
Dont give in to his calls when he calls.