7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

sasha

August 11, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in September of 2013. We got back together then in January of 2014 as I really missed him. However, the relationship only lasted a couple of weeks as we were both studying in separate universities and I was confused about our future, in terms of a long distance relationship. So I ended the relationship again. I really missed him again so I started drinking and going out all the time as I needed something to numb the pain. My ex knows I was drinking and going out quite a lot as we are still friends on Facebook. I think this gave him the impression that I was not bothered by the break up. We had not spoken for five months, until he text me in early July saying I hope you are keeping good and well done on passing all your exams(these were my final year exams). We exchanged a few casual texts that day and that was it. Then about four weeks later I text him to say hello and see how he was keeping, but he never replied? I text a couple of days later again saying that I missed him and I was sorry for the way things worked out and said I wont bother you again. Why has he not text me back? I really miss him, has he gotten over me??? please help I don’t know what to do.

admin

August 12, 2014 at 11:51 am

I know you miss him but don’t tell him that. Let HIM be the one that says that to you first.

Ellie

August 10, 2014 at 4:31 pm

I met a man online and started dating him a few months ago. He asked me to be exclusive right away. He’s 66 ( his online profile says 62, I’ve often though that he was a little insecure on lacked self esteem) and Im 44 and often referred to by men as beautiful and sexy. Anyway this man Ive been dating for a few months ends up by accident contacting one of my friends on the dating site ( I thought he was off the site). He’s asking her all the same questions he’d asked me in the beginning. Apparently he never went off the site but I did shortly before we started dating ( we we corresponding by text, phone and email at this point) I went off the site due to a low quality of men and too many perverts. Anyway, I responded emotionally to this information and sent him a text stating he contacted one of my friends on the dating site and that I was done. He responded right away with, “What???? Im not online”. I responded with a photo of his profile with ONLINE NOW. He waited two hours and responded with the ever so lame, “I was hack, and he read an article about military men getting hacked to elicit money from unsuspecting women”. I didn’t respond because I received his response an hour after I had fallen asleep for the night (I’m in bed at 10pm like clockwork and he knows this.. his text was after 11). Neither one of us made contact the next morning, but later that day I sent him a heartfelt email basically stating: That I will miss him and that I already do… I listed all the things I really loved about him and us together… I said that there are lots of men that feel the grass could always bee a little greener, and that was fine, but its not for me. I said I couldn’t make someone a priority who only makes me an option. I sent the email along with a text stating an email had been sent and I wasn’t sure if he had given me a junk mail account in the beginning… and this was the reason for the text. I never heard back from him via text or email… he completely dropped all contact. Its been over three weeks and I haven’t tried contacting him either.

My question:
1. Who is doing the no contact? obviously he is and so am I but I initiated the break up and he started no contact with no response.

2. Now what? I miss him, but I don’t feel like he misses me because he just closed the door with no response… I still haven’t contacted him either, but its difficult.

BTW: about a month after we met I was PMSing and broke it off because the distance of an hour was too much and we were only seeing each other ever 7-10 days and after we would see each other he would lay low for three days and then come back all hot and heavy. ( his online profile says he lives 30 minutes from me on a military base, but in reality he used to be assigned to the base and now lives an hour from me with friends on their farm.. again he’s vague with details) I told him I felt like a boomerang… I sent him a text a few days later apologizing and explained I have terrible PMS 4 days a month and it was totally my fault, it was mostly my fault. He didn’t respond for two days (he apparently met someone else from the site and it didn’t work out after the met in person. I broke it off on a Thursday and he was meting another woman by Saturday ) so he responded to my text ( I only found out about this stuff after we were back together). I never really thought that he had a high self esteem. And clearly he has issues with being alone.

admin

August 11, 2014 at 11:41 am

I am going to say something you dont want to hear.

This guy is bad news. He is praying on women and is going to take advantage and hurt you…
Ellie

August 11, 2014 at 8:40 pm

Thank you, I agree completely. Sometimes you just need to hear someone else say it. That being said, he’s already hurt me, or my ego ( but it feels like my heart). What I’d like to understand is the “no contact” part in my scenario. I broke up with him, sent him a very nice email and he never responded and he went completely silent… so I did also. Its been over three weeks, player or not, in this scenario does he eventually contact me? And why did he go silent (busted? taking control? Waiting for me to forget?). I would love your insight, you’re a great writer and seem to know what you’re talking about. Honesty, he’s very average looking and looks 66, but I liked him. My point is Im the 10 and e’s the 5. Its generally the reason why I date older men is because they have an appreciation for a younger, “hot” woman and in return for me (theoretically) they are stable in reality, nurturing, well mannered, more touchy feely and treat me as if I’m the only woman on the planet… opposed to younger men who are always looking for greener grass. Anyway, thank you for your help, I very much appreciate the input.
admin

August 12, 2014 at 12:03 pm

I would say he might eventually contact you but I honestly feel that’s more likely to happen if you move on.

Guys tend to be more attracted to things they can’t have than to things they can.
Ellie

August 14, 2014 at 11:28 pm

Im at 30 days, exactly today! And guess what? I no longer miss him. Yes, I think about him, however my thoughts are no longer of the highlight reel giving him the benefit of the doubt and leaving me wondering it it was me and not him. My time has been filled with going out and being more social and bumping up my fitness routine. During NC when I’d start wonder about him and taking it personally I’d read all of these women’s post and pain and I realized that some men are just lame and don’t deserve these amazing women longing for them. Easier said than done, but in all honesty spend your NC time wisely, nobody ever regrets exercise, and nobody ever regrets getting over a bad relationship. I will not be sucked into dating groundhog day 🙂 Thanks for the help, you and your blog thats not a blog made a massive difference!
admin

August 15, 2014 at 2:45 pm

I think your my hero!

I am so glad my writing made a difference in your life.
Ellie

September 30, 2014 at 2:29 pm

Different, different question: I’ve been dating this man casually for a few months (I’m 44 and he’s in his upper 50’s and he says he’s really into me). Every time we get together we have a lot of fun (and yes we are sleeping together). Anyway, after each date he goes dormant on me for days, like 3 or so, with the occasional busy day text… This last Sunday we had a date to watch a football game at a bar and about an hour before we were to meet he sent me a text the saying that his 23 year old daughter wants to go to (they generally watch football together when she’s available), So he says, you’ll get to meet my daughter. We haven’t meet each others families yet. So were at the table watching football, and he’s himself with the exception of zero affection toward me, he sat close to me so our legs and arms were touching but that was it… anyway, that was Sunday and I haven’t really heard from him since, he didn’t send me the usual good night text, but he did send me a Good Morning text on Monday, and left out the usual baby, babe, beautiful, you get the point. Later Monday he sends me a text with the rundown of what he did all day and that was it, no response to my text, no good night text. Today which is Tuesday and I haven’t heard anything. I let him initiate most text, so I haven’t sent him anything either. SO, Im asking what the heck?!?!? He knows Im casually dating him and someone else, so thats not the issue, I didn’t ask to meet his family, so thats on him. So, Whats your opinion? I have that pit of anxiety and I hate feeling that way.
admin

October 1, 2014 at 3:36 pm

Wait, your dating him and another guy? Don’t you think that will upset him?
Ellie

October 2, 2014 at 2:27 am

He was the one that said he wasn’t ready to commit so he was okay with me dating another man (or maybe he was just saying it didn’t bother him for now). Anyway back to my question. He had me meet his 23 year old daughter while we arched a game at the bar…and after he dropped off my radar. I didn’t contact him either. He did check in with yesterday, briefly though text. He told me what he was doing and that he didn’t have his phone with him… he asked how my day was going… I replied: It always makes me so happy when I hear from you. its been crazy busy on my end… are you on your way home? He replied Yes. have some work to do. Tomorrow I’m going to a continuing education medical education conference for the day (which I took to mean he wasn’t going to be available), I replied: Im certain you have a lot of catching up to now that you’re mobile again ( he dislocated his shoulder a few weeks ago) Just make sure that you take good care of yourself. We’ll catch up in a few days when you can breath again. He never responded to my last text and today nothing… its 10:30pm so Im not going to hear from him. So what gives with the slow disappearing act, especial after me meeting his daughter?
Ellie

September 30, 2014 at 2:30 pm

I meant to say: Different guy, different question.

Abby

July 25, 2014 at 8:59 pm

My ex broke up with me 2 weeks ago after 6 years, I’ve kinda sucked about the NC rule to be honest but its just super hard after all those years. I feel robbed of years and broken he says he wasn’t happy being with me or happy with himself either and that he needed to find himself, he also cut out everyone including his friends and best friend out of his life.

Any advice?

admin

July 28, 2014 at 2:28 pm

Understandable when you are with someone for that long its hard to adapt but you really need to do the NC.

Jenny

July 23, 2014 at 1:34 am

hello ,
well me and my ex boyfriend were dating for 5 months he broke up with me after an argument we had , we got back together after that (next month 6/4/14) he asked me out that day because our actual date was 2/4/14 we broke up 2 weeks later he told me “listen Jen I think you can do better your smart , beautiful , sweet all that , ever since we broke up I lost feelings for you it just wasn’t the same anymore”, we haven’t talked in a little more than a month and today is 7/22/14 we havent at all , and I just miss him so much I want him back honestly we did everything together , I miss US so badly ive actually been depressed about this just missing him its been very hard on me lately

admin

July 24, 2014 at 2:44 pm

Were there any warning signs or was this completely out of the blue…

chinadoll

July 21, 2014 at 5:10 pm

Hi i have been dating this guy for 6 months and we hit it off right away. but this pass week he has been distance from me for no reason. I finally talk to him the other day. He told me that it’s not you it’s me and he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that he was moving too fast. Now my feelings is involved deeply andn I love him and he says he loves me too. What do I do about this.

admin

July 22, 2014 at 2:13 pm

Did he break up with you?

Brown bug

July 18, 2014 at 10:10 pm

I was talking to a guy for two and a half months. We both really liked each other but he was going away to study abroad for a month so we decided to wait to start a relationship until he got back. The entire time we spoke everyday and Skyped each other. The entire time before he left we were both excited to start a relationship together. Well when he got back he said he had doubts and then told me he doesn’t have feelings for me. I thought we just needed space from each other because we were kind of always in each others faces always talking and texting. I suggested a break but he just wanted to end it. He finally agreed to a two week break and I’m one week in and I’ve kind of accepted that it’s going to be over no matter what. But what I’m wondering is if there’s any chance he might change his mind. Maybe he just needed space to figure out that I really matter to him. Is this at all possible or should I just continue moving on and not bothering to contact him after the initial two weeks are up.

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:53 pm

I think a little space would be a good idea in this instance.

Jordan Gillespie

July 18, 2014 at 5:32 pm

Ok so I was seeing someone for 6 weeks almost there, he was completely spoiling me, taking me away weekends, out for dinner and drinks etc also put a deposit down on a holiday just the day before he ended things. Now the thing is we haven’t ever argued or fell out as technically it was still honeymoon period for us and we were completely so happy. Everything he said and one was amazing and then I got a text from him saying how his mum though I was too young for him so he said he thinks it is for the best to end things, now I am 21 and he is 30, age to me is just a number and he genially was so so happy. I couldn’t believe he was honestly listening to his mum and letting her make choices for him however I then thought this isn’t the truth because he told me he didn’t care about age as I act a lot older than I am and made him happy. He only broke up with his ex about 2 months ago and he told me there was nothing left he didn’t feel anything to her as she cheated on him many times and told me there just something there with me. Now I at the start did not want to feel like a rebound so I asked him on we’d after we ended things on Tuesday is she back on the scene and he replied ‘there’s not a chance in hell of that happening again, I feel I have rushed into this too quickly and need to sort myself out with a flat first, I hope you aren’t fallen out with me over my decision’ now the age has nothing to do with the break up! I just need advice on this as he genially wouldn’t have said everything he did or done what he done spoiled me etc and then do this! I have not contacted him since Wednesday, however he said on Tuesday he would bring my stuff to me on Friday night which is tonight, I have not heard anything and I have no intension of texting him as I really hope he is thinking he has made a mistake. I do not want to seem bothered and I do not want to give him the time of the day like I am clinging onto him. If he really wanted me gone he would have been and gone with my stuff by now am I right? Can anyone give me advice on what to do, how to make him realise and what he’s missing etc, he don’t have Facebook or anything which I hardly use but he sees that I come on whatsapp etc. I feel proud I haven’t contacted him but I have this weird feeling inside me that i might have a chance still is this normal? Does the NC rule really work?

admin

July 21, 2014 at 3:06 pm

Yes, the no contact rule can really work!!

dalel

July 18, 2014 at 3:56 am

hey my ex is with anothe girl he loves her i guess but she brokeup with him today, my friend talked to him for mybe we can getting back togather but he told him a lot of thinks witch it hurts a lot he said that he’s no longer love me and he doesn’t want me and he hates the day he met me, and all what we had was just a lie, but in the same time he was dating that girl something happend it was when our football national team went to the second term we all went to celebrate in the street so in that time i lost my little brother in the croud so i start freaking out and crying so he followed me and helped me to find him and we did after that we walked alone in an empty street and it wa 01:00 am and then he kissed me and said that he loves me and never wanna see me cry again, no we never talked and i really miss him i want him back i just need some help

admin

July 18, 2014 at 4:04 pm

You should give him a little time to get over his current ex so YOU don’t become the rebound.

Second Chance Glutton

July 15, 2014 at 3:01 am

hi Chris,
I can see that you’ve been dealing with some pretty crazy relationship experiences, and unfortunately I think I have another one for your scrutiny.
my ex (aaron) and I met about six months ago online and immediately hit it off and messaged back and forth every day. because of our equal honesty and compatible personalities, we both started developing feelings for eachother. during this time, we were both in troubled relationships, my boyfriend was cheating on me incessantly (no matter the second and third chance) and his girlfriend was not around very much, and was awfully jealous. I finally got away from my ex, and soon after Aaron broke it off with his girlfriend. he told me it was because of his feelings for me, partly. of course, our relationship was on a track towards serious relationship, and I couldn’t have been happier.

sadly, I had made a huge mistake.

my previous boyfriend and I had a very serious and deep relationship, and when he came crawling back to me, even though I was trying to move on with Aaron, I ruined everything when I decided to leave Aaron for him. this broke aarons heart, and at first he responded with anger. it didn’t take long for my boyfriend to cheat on me again, and Aaron was there for me as a friend. It was then that I realized I had made a huge mistake. I begged and begged Aaron for a second chance and after a while he succumbed.
our relationship went back to how it was before, but I ruined it yet again.

I felt that our relationship was boring, and he didn’t seem to be showing much emotion or effort, and so like an idiot, I started playing games. I became very stoic and blank, and he finally asked what was going on. well, not really asked. it was more like a statement. “so are we not going to try anymore?” is what he said. pride filled my mind, and I wanted him to fight for me. can you believe my nerve? after I had pleaded for a second chance, and now I wanted HIM to fight for ME? of course, he saw how screwed up that was and I decided to leave, because I obviously hadn’t put my foot far enough down my throat.

the problem is, now I want him back. desperately. I’ve learned from my mistakes, apologized and tried to fix them. but he will not budge. he said he can’t take us seriously because he thinks that I will just leave again.
plus theres some other girl he met, and he doesn’t want to ruin it before it begins.

at this point, you’re probably wondering what on earth my question is. I just want to know what I can do to fix what I’ve done and get him back. right now I’m doing the NC rule, I told him I needed time to get over him.
but I’m afraid if I stick with that rule and don’t do anything else he will move on with that girl he met.

thanks for your time and your insightful articles,
Sophie

admin

July 15, 2014 at 3:24 pm

Oh man…

So, heres how AAron feels.

“I left my girlfriend for her and she did this to me.”

That is probably swimming around in his head a lot.

Kelly

July 14, 2014 at 3:10 am

My ex and I dated a little over a year. He was my first love and sad to say still is. We broke up 2 years ago but about 2 weeks ago he followed me on twitter and instagram. I returned the follow. Now I have completely gone kinda insane thinking what does this mean? And I can’t help but look at his page every day and tweet hints toward him. Basically I’ve made myself look pathetic but I want to change that now. Finding someone else is basically a no go because I always catch myself finding flaws about another guy that isn’t him. He doesn’t subtweet or retweet any of my tweets and he hasn’t liked any of my pictures of me except for one that was a bible verse. What do I do? I need help ASAP.
Carol

July 13, 2014 at 6:03 pm

Hello.

I met a guy on line and we dated for 3 weeks. We had an instant connection. We have a lot in common and enjoy each others company very much.

I take dance lessons and have for 7 months now. A hobby I took up after a 21 year marriage ended. I go out at least once every weekend to the dance club (truly a dance club where co-dancers all get together for practise). He thinks I’m seeing someone else, and I am not. Somehow he is sure I did because one night I was at a house party and left my phone at home. Since my kids 15 and 25 were together, I didn’t worry and stayed at the party but was home just after 11. He doesn’t believe me and broke up with me. His comment was that he had better things to worry about that where I am and who I am with. Of course this hurt my feelings.

I know he is hurt but is he really? or is this a way to get rid of me? His last relationship ended at 4 months and it seemed to me he may have not been ready. That being said, I can’t remember the last time I felt so at ease with someone. I am an attractive woman and in the past I was a model. He is defiantly my type, tall, fit and handsome and a bit nerdy…which I LOVE! BUT….he thinks I’m out of his league. Is this part of the problem??? I am a lot nerdier than he has seen.

When is it a sign that he is not into you? I want to believe he is but I am not sure what to do? I have cut contact with him. Blocked him from my phone and took him off FB. I did this more for me because I don’t want to see what he is up to. But….I miss him.

Any suggestions for insights? Is he worth pursing? With the NC rule, should I go back on the dating site we met on? It would be for the wrong reasons since I am not ready to give up on him.

admin

July 14, 2014 at 3:23 pm

You only dated for 3 weeks?

And if he thinks you are out of his league he may be worried about other men hitting on you. Some men can’t deal with that.

this girl

July 10, 2014 at 7:54 pm

The last comment from “aggressive aggressive” sounds like me and my ex as far as behavior/personality.

My ex and I were crazy in love and both that us finding one another was “it,” dated six months and then he dumped me…he said he needed more time to himself and I was just too much…that I didn’t listen to him…and maybe some space would make us stronger down the road. I didn’t take it too well, and did all the classic things one should not do to try to get him back (except the crazy stalker stuff…skipped out on doing anything creepy – lol). Of course, this pushed him away… I see him all the time. We have a lot of the same close, close friends that neither of us would like to loose…and some of them play music and we’re involved in a lot of community things…point is, even trying to avoid him …I bump into him frequently. The NC was never put into place b/c of this… and I think he’s starting to get over me. We’ve hooked up and what not… but throughout the last 3 months, I think this has all just made it more comfortable for him to start getting over me. ..

What can I do now? I still miss him. I still want him back…and I feel he’s starting to drift.

admin

July 11, 2014 at 2:20 pm

Or comfortable to be FWB

Adrienne

July 10, 2014 at 6:51 pm

What if you broke up with them for whatever reason (in my case, he needs to grow up)? My ex is very angry with me and is responding childishly by trying to make me jealous. Do the same principles apply?

admin

July 11, 2014 at 2:00 pm

Absolutely they do.

Amanda

July 10, 2014 at 4:42 am

Hi chris! Did everything in your book and it worked! I look ed for your guidance a year ago. Explained my story… Perfect relationship happy etc one day out of the blue he broke up w me. Talked 2 months later and he told me he wanted to try and get back together w his ex. He had all kinds of romantic gestures with his ex . She said no. He continued his way trying to be w someone new and me all the while… Following the rules. I heard she was not in love w him. Him and I talked I mentioned it as a casual friend would. He told me he wanted to get back together that he missed me once he realized he was not happy w the second girl. He said then and only then he had realized what he had left behind back then. He said he found me so much more centered in my life and he liked that! So, I say yes… Easily and quickly 🙁 we were together 4 months and we started fighting like we never had in our first relationship w each other. Things were completely different I couldn’t be lovable wanting to punch him in the face all the time my feelings were so hurt knowing all the things he had done for his ex to try and get back together, . He didn’t do half those things for me and it broke my heart 🙁 but to be honest I didn’t let him (I took him back too easily) anyway he broke up w me several times and at first tried to stay in touch a lot we would get back together in weeks etc but this time he seems so much more detached more decisive. Less open to considering getting back together wanting his space etc. so… Here it is… A) can the program work again ? Even if the first time he had something good to remember and this time it was a disaster? B) how do I make him chase me not only want to get back together but chase so maybe this time he values the relationship? C) what book do you recommend?

admin

July 10, 2014 at 2:37 pm

Its not out of the question that it will work again but I am going to honest, I feel it will be less effective since youve already used it.

Stacey

July 4, 2014 at 8:39 am

Hey chris. So its been about 8 weeks since the break up.
2 weeks after the break up he was doing the things you wrote hed do if he misses me. He hasnt repeated those signs of missing me since week two. He came by my place to pick up stuff he forgot and he responded neutrally maybe a twinge of possitivity. He didnt day much he just asked how i was doing. I went to his page yesterday and hes removed all exsistence of our relationship together from his facebook. Untagging photos people took of us, deleting profile pictures with me in them. Now Im thinking i had my chance and i blew it and now hes possibly bitter idk. Is it possible to stop missing an ex at only 8 weeks? And if so how do i proceed if he no longer misses me?

admin

July 7, 2014 at 5:49 pm

I suppose anything is possible but I think he still misses you but maybe it will lessen more and more over time.

zac

June 27, 2014 at 10:30 am

Hi chris,
Your article is nice. But am a bit confused.

I am in a relationship since two years. In the initial six months of the relationship he came up with a reason that his mom is not agreeing for our marriage. Then we had a mutual break off and I did not contact him for a week then he called me back and he told he can’t be without me and he started crying. He promised he will make his family understand so I went back to this relationship after a few months he cashing me to come back. Then we went smoothly for some months.
Now he came up with the same issue that his mom is not agreeing for our marriage. I am from India and in India arranged marriages are well known. His mother is seeking an arranged marriage for him and expecting a lot of money and dowry from the bride. I must say he is also double minded. Now it’s been 1 month that am crying and showing affection to hold him back but things are not working out. Still he saying the same that mom is not agreeing. Finally he agreed that he will talk to his mother again in 2 week simultaneously his mother is seeking other proposals for him and making him to talk to other rich girls.

So in this situation what should I do. So after two weeks if he is saying the same thing should I initiate a break up in a cool way with don’t care attitude or just initiate a break up and crying and make him feel guilty or how it must be? Then i must plan for a no contact week? In this one week am scared that his mom will make him to talk to some other girl and reduce his pain? Or if I initiate the break off will he take that as a right moment to escape from this relationship? Or should I wait for him to initiate the break off. Coz I am getting that feel his mother’s attitude will not change after two week so he has to be stern at home to say that he needs me. I am not sure whether he gonna say that instead he would come and tell me that it’s not gonna work out.
I really need him back in my life. I can’t be without him now.
Kindly help me and answer all my doubts please. I am not able to go to my work since one month. If i say fine for a break off will be think that am really ok with it? am in a very bad situation.
Thank you
Zac

admin

June 29, 2014 at 4:55 pm

What was his moms reason for not wanting the marriage?
Zac

June 29, 2014 at 6:34 pm

Since they need more Dowry money, for that she saying just out hora cope is not matching but it’s matching we and my parents also checked it and it’s matching. Kindly give me a reply.thanks.
Zac

June 29, 2014 at 6:35 pm

* just saying that our horoscope is not matching.
Zac

June 29, 2014 at 6:36 pm

Will NC work in our case? Will he be stern to his mother?
admin

June 30, 2014 at 2:29 pm

I think NC is worth a shot.
zac

June 27, 2014 at 10:46 am

And one important thing is he told his mother that he totally broke up with me. but we are still in a relationship and our relationship doesn’t have any issue except his mother’s disapproval. so that is why he is again taking time to re-introduce the matter at home. but he is not stern since he cant hurt his mom too.. i am afraid if he dont feel the pain then he wont come back.

GL

June 20, 2014 at 1:31 pm

Hi Chris,

I really like your articles! I have a couple questions if you would be so kind! 🙂 I am trying NC now, but it’s hard…and there is a 90% chance I’ll see him this weekend at a festival.

Question 1: How do I maintain the NC rule if I run smack into him?

Also my situation is tricky, because I acted upon anger one to many times and blew up his phone with insulting texts.I was trying to force him into something he’s not ready for. (Don’t worry, he has done his share of jerk things). Well I’ve realized where my behavior has come from and I want him back. I want to show him I’m not this crazed person. My life is coming together the way I need it to, to be happy. I want him in it.

I pushed him away by texting like a crazy person. He went from 100% into me and dropping the love bomb to: “I don’t want a relationship.” Well I stupidly tried to get him to step up by telling him a couple guys asked for my number at a bar.

He promptly calls me, angry.

“Why are you telling me about these guys? I don’t CARE. Are you trying to make me jealous? I don’t CARE!”

Question 2: That sounded like jealousy to me, am I right? Things have been tumultuous between us, and I know he was hanging out with other girls, but I don’t say anything.

I want him to be 100% about me again, and try it with the new knowledge about myself…I hadn’t dated in 2 years and really didn’t know how to just relax. Because he doesn’t “want a relationship,” I am definitely keeping my options open and talking with other guys. SIGH.
Katie

June 19, 2014 at 4:31 pm

My boyfriend and I date for almost a year and we spent almost everyday together. We also live down the street from each other. He was never a feelings guy, never really showed when he was upset or overly excited.

In our relationship, he always said I put in too much effort and he always felt bad. He would mention that he needed more time for work and his hobbies, but he would always agree to do stuff with me. We spent almost every night together, but still hadn’t said I love you or discussed marriage. Everything was going fine before he broke up with me, he was even trying to have sex with me the night before we broke up. Then, last week, he dumped me out of the blue saying that he wasn’t happy anymore and didn’t see us being long term; that he wanted to be on his own.

I begged for him to give us another chance, but he said that he wasn’t going to change his mind and that me trying was only going to make it harder for me. I tried talking to him for the three days after but finally deleted all of his information and haven’t talked to him in 3 days.

Will no contact work with someone who doesn’t get emotional and who basically said there wasn’t ever a chance? I miss him so much and it kills me that he’s not upset.

admin

June 21, 2014 at 7:19 pm

Yes, it can still work.

Rachel

June 18, 2014 at 1:21 pm

Hi,

Ive been dating this man for two weeks, I really like him, but feel he’s distracted. Im 44 and he’s 65. He says Im the only woman he is interested in and that Im the only woman he want to see.e sends me text non stop. Heres the deal… We met online, and he continues to check his (this dating site) account for emails and possibly chatting with other women. I know this to be fact because my girlfriend is on the same site, i have her password. Anyway, we finally slept together one afternoon. We spent the next four hours together hiking which was fun. We parted ways at 5pm and that night I didn’t hear from him. The next morning he sent me a generic text, “good Morning”, and I replied. Usually he send me multiple text, but after I replied, good morning back to him he stopped texting me. I knew he had a dentist appointment that morning, but it wasn’t on the moon. I waited about six hours and used my girlfriends account to see if maybe he was just busy, and sure enough he was, he was busy on the dating site. So, without any hesitation I sent him a text: (I was taking him to this warehouse of recycled materials I frequent, and he was interested in going to) BTW, thus far he’ll be the one to ask me out but leaves the planing to me (apparently he feels my life is more fascinating). Anyway I sent him a text via phone once I saw him on the dating site and he had not contacted me that day with anymore than a good morning.. Heres the text: I had a lot of fun with you yesterday and thank you for thinking to bring wine, it was great! (Im going to have to buy that label) Im so sorry to do this but Im going to have to cancel tomorrow. Its super hot and supposed to be around 100 and the warehouse doesn’t have air conditioning, so it will be miserable. Have a really great day and try to stay cool!! His reply to me was:Do you want to get together and do something else? My reply: Hey, Im not getting the vibe from you today that were a good match. You’ve been very distant (the whole reason why I generally wait to have sex) Im not much for those hot and cold games people play so I made other plans. His reply: I didn’t contact you much because I spent most of the morning in a dental chair (my thought was it was 6 hours! but I didn’t say anything) I haven’t changed at all nor have I cooled wanting to see you. Thursday morning I’ll probably be the same. Getting a root canal done that day. I thought I had told you about both of these appointments. My unspoken thought was sure you were busy, but she you weren’t you checked the dating site without checking in with me first. I didn’t respond to his last email at 2:30pm. and he hasn’t tried to contact me either, but he has been on the dating site. Just a few minutes ago (its the next day and 9:30am I got a text saying, “Good Morning”. So now what???

admin

June 18, 2014 at 2:11 pm

Well, if your in NC then you simply don’t respond….
Rachel

June 18, 2014 at 4:11 pm

I didn’t respond to his text yesterday at 1pm, so I shouldn’t respond to his text this morning at 930 am?

Lindsay

June 17, 2014 at 9:24 pm

Hi,
My ex boyfriend was complete passive aggressive, I am more an aggressive aggressive. We were together for 6th months and during our relationship I would push him to be more straight forward and assertive. I was getting frustrated with him and I guess I pushed him too far and he broke up with me. Afterwards I felt very guilty, so for the following week after he broke up with me I had been texting him trying to apologize for being so pushy and aggressive with him and telling him that I realize that I must learn to react and respond to his passive aggressive nature differently. He won’t budge. Is it too late to apply the no contact rule? And what should I say to initiate it?

admin

June 18, 2014 at 1:31 pm

Aggressive aggressive hahaha.. Believe it or not but I prefer this.

Not too late for NC.

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