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Engy
September 5, 2014 at 1:14 pm
What do you think I should do if we broke up like this.. he is so jealous man he want me alone he don’t want me to talk with anyone or even communicate with my colleagues .. he asked me to stop doing this or we have to stop this relation .. so I replied ok well we can stop it .. I was very angry from him
Now; after 12 days I can’t stop thinking about him and I miss him so much … I tried not to contact him even go to work as we are colleagues .. I am getting down ..
admin
September 15, 2014 at 2:22 pm
You broke up because he was too controlling?
I don't want to risk him seeig :/
September 3, 2014 at 5:44 pm
Been dating a guy off and on for two and a half years seems like every 6 months he end up breaking up wih me because he wants to do his own thing and I’m to controlig. He’s come back two times now and this time he got me pregnant because he wanted to and he wanted a famiy with me. And a week ago he broke up with me I am 7 months pregnant with his child and live in a house his parents bought for us. He says he wants to do what he wants and tht I have treated him like crap and he’s sick of it. I have been hormonal and I have treated him poorly at times. But I have apologized ad been doing everythig I can but he says he’s finally happy and when asked if he’s ever goin to come back he says no and when he’s done this in the past he’s said maybe or idk. He’s already been hanging out with another girl as we’ll. he’s tlking about figuring out when e can see the baby like custody and stuff and says he doesn’t want to be back together tht he’s sorry. Is this really the end? š i don’t know what to do I just want him back and to love me and be apart of our family again.
admin
September 4, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Hmm… him hanging out with another girl is clearly meant to hurt you. Not sure anything will come of it.
loneliness
September 3, 2014 at 1:20 am
ok it was my fault i think that he broke up with me was he was a controller, an i did loose my indepence, an after dancing i did loose the body not too much but some an he actually was the one who bitched an nagged an was the controller, an we come from 2 different worlds, he has money an rich family an friends i have nothing lost both my parents an lost my car then my job, an now i lost him 24 days ago, granted he did say that we could still be friends an that if i needed anything at all he will be there to help but not forever. I did cheat like 3 yrs. ago an it was only one day but he violated my privacy by putting a motion censor camera in my room an he said it was for personal reasons, i say he was spying on me, an he said he should of broke it off then instead of waiting 3 yrs. at the time the cheating thing it was only one day an on the bed he bought me,. so i can see where that issue came into play, an i did steal a little but not money, never that he gave that without me doing that, but other things not material things but we will call it candy, not a lot an i guess the trust thing too, but i love him unconditionally he loves with conditions, he controlled my phone an my tv comcast an internet, i think that was it. As far as the bigger things go, i did get my own phone so he won’t have control over that, i think it started in the beginning when he read one of my journals without my permission when everything happened i tried to see past the journal thing but his daughter went digging in my bag an started to read it. So another violation on his part an i for gave him, an the candy thing we discussed it an i told him i would not do it again but then when he wasn’t around it be like one here 2 there an again he had a digital camera in my home mine not his an caught me taking a few here an there, he would confront me about it an i would lie cause i thought you know something small he wouldnt’ notice oh he did he would put things a certain way an if he went to look an it wasn’t the way he put it he knew,. he started doing things like that when i cheated that one day, granted i never cheated before an we have been together for 9 yrs,. an it happen 3 yrs ago he said he wanted to sell the bed but we had just gotten it an i had realized after that one night that wasn’t what i wanted i wanted it to be with him but he was in the hospital an i thought he wouldn’t of known til he called me a wk later to say he caught me on video doing this yeah i denied all up to i saw the video now he envaded my privacy an if that camera wasn’t there he would of never known about it,. an i would of left it at that. that night meant nothing to me an i told him that,. but because it was on a bed he bought for us i ruined the whole thought in the bed room so we would do things in the living an sleep in the bedroom it was hard at first for him to be relaxed about it,. an it is amazing some women can just blow off a one night thing like nothing but a guy to them a one night thing turned into a yr.. for him. so every now an then he would throw that in my face, an it never happened again, i told the guy to leave me alone cause this is the one i wanted to be with, but every now an then i would get a phone call or a hit on fb. an again i delete him an didn’t tell him that he tried contacting me it was like the more i tried to delete that person from life this guy always gets in the middle of it an he isn’t even around ruining it for me. He has lied to me about the journals an the cameras an the chips that he has with me in my home. i do have one of them an he isn’t getting it back either i would use it to my advantage but i am not that kind of person, we may come from 2 different worlds but i think he found i was a challenge for him,. an maybe that is why he stayed an he thought i was anti marriage which i wasn’t i went threw things in my recent to the day we had met, an he rushed into it he moved with me the first 3 months i told him that he had to find his own place cause it was clear the way we clean was different too. I am afraid that he may find someone else but i hope he is thinking of me the way i do him. Now i did screw up this past wkend he came here on sunday i worked my magic on him we had sex alot then the next day he came back again but said he was feeling guilty for being here an breaking up with me after sex with me again,.It wasn’t like the night before an this time he didn’t stay the night he left. An then i spoke to him today an i admit i did blow up his email box too sense the breakup doing my begging thing like i shouldn’t of i should of let it go but i still have the phone til the end of the month an cabe an the internet too til the end of the month. But he is the longest relationship i have had with anyone, I was married 2 times before, my first marriage was 4 an half yrs. an my second marriage didn’t even make it past the first yr. addiction issues not around my kid. I may have screwed up my chances on getting him back but i hope that i won’t be too late so should i not email, text or call like the NC rule. is it too late for me to do that after all that. If he didn’t want the sex he wouldn’t of stayed with me too talk things out, i called it the official break up sex but i don’t know how he took it cause the next day he came back an said something about feeling guilty, so is he already seeing someone or does he really want to do for himself an his daughters they are teens i met him when they were really young so. I use to give him backrubs neck rubs basically all over rubs an i dyed his hair for him. I wanted to get married but he said i was a financial risk or we would not be able to live together cause the way i live an where i live like an hour away from him an he still lives with mom an he is 49, says he wants to go back to college an get a new job. He always complained to me about money an spending but here recently he shows up with a new car granted i wasn’t surprised knowing that i needed a car myself to find a job an get my stuff together you would of thought he would of helped me with that. But no. an he got a new phone from work so he bragged about that too i know i should of been supportive an excited about the car it is just that when he said that to me about the marriage thing kind of threw me cause when we met he hinted around about marriage after he just got a divorce, so i told him no not til he learns to talk to me better an treats me good an he did treat me good with the boobs but the verbal not so much it was like when i gave up my past it was like ammo for him to use on me but i do know that he did love before the cheat thing cause the way he talked to me about it an how he cried an he said he couldnt look at me for awhile so we stayed apart an then he came back after a wk an half an the it was just miner things after that. sorry it became almost a book but i do love the way he had control of some things an that he liked pushing my buttons just to get me going,. we talked about doing a lot of things together in the future he was going to take me on a cruise but i screwed that up. along with my independence,/ So how do i fix this or is there no hope for me. HeLP
admin
September 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm
I think you know what you need to do with the NC rule… It’s not too late.
loneliness
September 3, 2014 at 7:00 pm
I am trying the NC thing now an i emailed him that i wont be around for him to pick up his things, til sunday if he wanted to stop by an pick it up,. At first his response was “really” then he said “who”, then he said “oh ok an laughed” so i don’t know what that means i don’t want him to find someone else because i said i was going out with a few friends but i guess it doesn’t really matter, He did want to marry me i was scared an afraid of loosing my independence but it really didn’t matter any way cause i lost pretty much everything after my dad past. An when i screwed up 3 yrs ago i think i lost him more emotionally, he saw me as a challenge when i was dancing, an i took time to do me up an look pretty an then after my dad i lost that an my job, an then things kinda went down hill, he said that i was anti marriage an that wasn’t totally true, he asked me if he was to propose to me would i marry him an this was like the first 3 or 4 months into the whole thing i told him no cause he really didn’t know how to talk to me, he was a controlling person an would use words to break me down, like my father did , granted i did stop him when he said things like that an i did walk out on him a few times but he would always call me on my way home an say can you please come back sometimes i say things that make me angry that you do an i apologize, so i would turn around an go back, an then that was the first yr. but he did try to end it with me that yr. he told me that i had to give my car back to the guy who bought it for me cause i prostituted myself out for that, i didn’t like that word so i picked the nearest thing which was a plastic water bottle an threw at his back but he turned an it hit him in the face, he did leave that day but then called the next day an said to give it back or have him sign it over to me an he would pay him the 2000 that he used to put down on the car,. Well that never happened the guy took his car back any way because he said if he wasn’t going to pay him back that money he had to take it. so i let him, an he told me we would work out the car thing, but he had me use his beat up car to get to work his ex did not want me driving it but he didn’t care he said it was his car,. An then he said i blew the engine which i didn’t do that cause it had a cracked engine block anyway, then we tried with some money i saved an he got me a truck for 750 from a friend he worked with an that one lasted 3 months with a cracked engine block so it isn’t me it is him. Then when we were into the 5 yr thing he did ask me again to move in with him, an then i got scared again independent thing or i am afraid of comment,. But i did want to be with him an i should moved in to try it but if it didn’t work out where will i be homeless. so i again opted out,. or he changed his mind he said i am not as clean as he would like me to be come i cleaned i took out his garbage gave him backrubs which he liked an foot rubs an every rub you can think of an i also cooked once in awhile, cause we were at his apartment, i even washed done his walls an watched his girls why he went to work. an nothing went anywhere,. then i started to fall apart my vision i couldn’t keep a job cause i couldn’t see an he just got more angrier like you said if there are things that bother him about you he bitches so i bitched back at him leaving empty ice trays an empty boxes in the cupboards don’t know if he was doing it purposely or what but that started to irritate me so he got irritated as well , i would use manners an he would say go get me this or go get me that, he would not say please or thank you or anything, he blames that on being raised in a house of all men, an one woman his mother, he used to talk about being the Alfa man if someone made a sandwich he would take it an that person would make another one. Ok he is a lot of the controlling thing but that gives him no right we weren’t married, i love unconditionally his love comes with conditions an because he bought expensive things i felt obligated to stay then i fell in love with him in the process an boom i am the one sitting here crying almost everyday, for 25 days now. So now what am i doing good about the NC thing an what did he mean when he said that about “Really” an “who” then the “oh ok laugh” so tell me is there still a chance or should i forget him cause he is the way he is an may never change,. I just want to be respected an to feel loved an beautiful an he broke me with the words Stupid Dumb don’t talk about things you know nothing about Really that hurts an he said to me not too long ago that you can’t hurt someone with words i told him for a change to google verbal abuse an it will show him that you can,. I don’t know if i am crying cause he bought me things that were materialistic or that i lost him without trying to find me again, an i gave up on me, but when i started to try which he did see that i was he still left me he said he was enabling me so this way would be better an walked out almost with a grin on his face but i think something funny was said but he said he thought about us an the 9 yrs on his way home an he said he hurt too an almost cried almost isn’t good enough for me i want to see him cry for me. lol but he did when i screwed up 3 yrs ago. so i can’t be picky about it. Sorry these just seem to get a little long oh an i am a detailed person he is get to the point person, i liked that we were opposite it gave me a chance to see the other side of a man that was different from what i normally liked,. so i guess we both looked at it as a challenge, then we just got to comfortable an things started changing i saw the signs but i can’t do anything in the last 3 yrs. my eyesight started to go, but the night that i screwed up an he saw it on the video he said the guy looked like rough kind of person yeah he was cause before i met that other guy he was a roofer an looked alot better then he did that night, an afterwards i told him to leave cause it was wrong what i did, an he left, but even when we tried to get past that moment that person’s name always ruined a moment we would be having an he wasn’t even in the room with us just the name alone was making him not feel right, I even moved the bed to a different position so that it would not remind of where the bed was hoping that would help i even change the bed cover i even stopped wearing the outfit i had on that night cause i didn’t want it to be brought up again. But for the last 3 yrs the other guy’s Name was there to screw it up for me. an the damn video but see i saw the chip an i deleted the scenes on it so it wouldn’t remind him what i did. So tell me now what is it hopeless or do me first an then see what happens,
admin
September 4, 2014 at 12:07 pm
Definitely give NC a shot. I think you can be successful with it.
loneliness
September 2, 2014 at 11:35 pm
It hasn’t been a month more like 24 days, I am the female an he is the one that ended it with me after 9 yrs. an we weren’t married just the dating thing. Now i have let my self esteem go along with my independance i think he fell in love with the way i looked an the sex. An me being independent now i can get my body back no problem, an the independence that will take a few cause i am getting cataract surgery an right now i can’t drive at night time, but enough of that, He just doesn’t look at me when he sees me, an he feels guilty for breaking up with me or being around me what does that mean an how can i get him back i do love him an i am a little stumped on why he did this after 9 yrs. we were still heavy into everything but my indepence left an he said that he was enabling me to do me. What does he mean by that. I was working on doing everything an he still left me. His comment is you will find someone who treats you better then i can or he will say things like atleast the next guy will enjoy the boob job i gave you an everything else here that i got you. What does he mean by all this, is it really over, cause in my heart i don’t feel that he feels that way, i feel he still loves me but i don’t want to completely loose contact with him. ‘an i do want him back really Help me please.
admin
September 3, 2014 at 2:46 pm
9 years and he didn’t propose…. Did he have commitment issues or something?
loneliness
September 3, 2014 at 7:06 pm
well when i met him he was going threw a divorce i told him i wouldn’t date him till i saw divorce papers an he showed me, i think it was more of a rebound but he was having a lot of issues with her the last 2 yrs of their marriage she cheated on him with a guy they both worked with an he didn’t even know, an he still screwed her but he didn’t catch her on tape, but he did tell me he married her out of obligation cause she was pregnant an he thought it would be the right thing to do, which that shouldn’t always be the case. but he did, I screw one day an it was only one an got the boot, an he had no expression on his face when he walked out on me either,like he was blank or numb i know that feeling too well i should of done things differently but he needs to change the way he talks to woman i tell you that much i just loved that control thing about him i do still want him back i guess i am a sucker for all that. But not the words thing he needs adjust that for sure. So tell me whats next still NC
loneliness
September 3, 2014 at 7:09 pm
An he did say that it was nice to put his arms around someone who he could hold she was a little over weight after the 2 kids, an he said that he didn’t really love her like he did me, So is there still hope for me.
loneliness
September 4, 2014 at 12:50 pm
Ok i have had a lot thought put into what this next reply would be, an i don’t think that he will ever come back cause in one of the pages you wrote about the cheating an lieing thing well we are at 5, I lied an cheated an stole from him but i didnt steal money, i had stolen his heart in the beginning but 3 yrs ago he put walls up an he made them so strong that i don’t think i have a chance, I am 49 going on 50 next yr. he is 49 going on 50 this yr. he went out an bought a new car an that is when things were changing, well they were changing sense the last three yrs. he did say that how could i just blow it off it didn’t happen well i said because that one night may me realize that i love you an not that part of myself any more, you know being a dancer kind of puts a different title on women. an i think that is what he saw after the fact an he didn’t confront me about it til a wk later, an then he said that he would never be able to get that image out of his head an it was only one frame cause of a motion thing so you are a guy an i know you put yourself in some scenarios how would you do mine i lost everything his trust, the cheat thing an the lying, steal, but you have to understand from my point of view it really isn’t that bad except the cheat thing, a little the steal but it was never money, maybe i should of been more sexual an dress up an cared more about how i look then just letting things go after my father past i guess i didn’t get the kind of grieving period emotionally an didn’t snap out of it, then with this damn menopause i can’t most of the time. I really do think it is really over he says we can hang out if i still want him to come over, an he did say he would help me for awhile on things but not forever,. So how do you handle something like this this is a really bad case wouldn’t you think Help there has to be something. other people are telling me to move on an find someone who is rich an can help take care of me, an love me for me an not talk to me the way he did,. But you no matter how you look or view abuse sometimes the woman don’t want to leave because they got comfortable with it, an just let lying dogs lie, I obviously really liked it because i lost him anyway he was never physcial abuse it was mostly like how you said you were with the control thing he always has to have it, he is a supervisor for his work so he kinda takes that home with him. an he is angry, but won’t show it, an i did think that he had insecurity issues, cause i thought it was weird how after 3 months of dating he consider us a couple started taking me around his daughters his family, so mayb i was the rebound an he was just looking for support an i gave that to him. i am so lonely right now there was a routine an now it is broken i feel like i am alone here an i am, Now. i feel so bad about it all i told him i wish we could wipe the slate clean an start over but he is like what you were stubburn an he cuts it off with no expression an leaves. So i think i am done how do you get over this an walk away, we have a lot secrets between the two us an i feel like if he leaves or don’t reconsider my secrets with him will get out, that is how feel scared an alone an frustrated that i will never get him back HELP
admin
September 5, 2014 at 11:55 am
Ok, let me ask you this. You are focusing on what you did wrong in the relationship. I am sure he was no saint either right?
loneliness
September 6, 2014 at 2:39 am
well his brothers an most of his family said that his x wife really screwed him up with the divorce. an did show me his divorce papers, but i didn’t think that we were going to jump in that quickly, an they also said too that he is a non cheating person an very honest yeah i got the honest part but i don’t believe he wasn’t doing anything but then i guess i didn’t want to know if he was or wasn’t but 9 yrs. an in the last 3 i screw up then an it was only one nite an he catches me on tape, that was put in my room illegally, an then he tries to justify it with what i did to him. really,. so i honestly don’t know if he was a saint or not i love him an to me it didn’t really matter, but now we have been having sex with out any feeling or emotional attachment so i guess i will do the no contact just to see if he is or isn’t using me, for a wk an see what happens, cause when i text him he response with something nice but then when i don’t answer right away he either calls or texts me again. Like yesterday i called asked if wanted to come over an he got up set an said no i can’t do this to you anymore, i said ok fine then he said well i never put that out there an he did when he ended it ” if you need anything or can’t do this on your own cause you are feeling bad i will come an hang out with you” i told him that he did offer it up like that an he said oh i don’t remember then i told him he didn’t have to. he said ok bye an then not even like 15 mins. later he texts me saying “i am cumming” notice how it came up right, then he said “almost there”, an then he text “im done” i was a little stumped he knew that so he calls an said didn’t you get that joke i said yes i got it. Haha, then he says he is really coming over cause he forgot something here an needed to come get it, an he said i am staying over night i said ok. He gets here an puts me threw his test to see if i would keep my hands to myself kind of test well i gave him a full body massage an he ended up taking his close off i said oh really an laughed about it, he said i am going to test you an he did an i past with an A plus, he wanted to see if i couldn’t help but touch an jump on him it didn’t happen though he did try doing things that would get my attention i did not fall it when i was done i ok you are done an he complimented me on the whole body rub an then he said i am so surprised you past the test. OK well lets see if he passes the test, i did a little something different an he fail on not containing himself not even 5 mins he was on me, an we went to bed an he was far away from me an i said nothing i was going to go to sleep he starts laughing i said what he said i thought you would of said where are you at, cause we use to cuddle before the break up an then we didn’t so i guess i past again cause i wasn’t all like come closer kind of thing i just went to fall asleep. You know if he want to play head games with me i can to but i just want to know is it possible that he may want this to work or is it a game an i am the slut you refer to in your FWB letter, i do believe in the friends with benefit thing but with discretion not like the way you described it as an with in reason if a woman wants to do that or i call it break up sex, but i know that is defeating the purpose of the NC thing right. Back to the question yeah i guess i am doing that focusing on what i did wrong cause of the way he said things to me, like you said in one of the newsletters, He will say anything that pops off the top of his head cause you are pushing with knowing what is wrong an what you did. So he started saying that he knew would hurt me an i guess i started to feel like i did it i broke us up. I wasn’t trying to be., He has alot of flaws he isn’t perfect but because i loved him his flaws some of them i looked past but mine he said he couldn’t look past them an blamed it on the things about me that werent as bad as his flaws. so yeah i guess i was doing that. I am so screwed up right now trying to figure this out an it is making my head hurt an my heart break so do the NC for a wk an see if he is using me, an then what. do the 30 day thing sense i screwed up by having him here, like cut him off cold turkey?
loneliness
September 6, 2014 at 2:49 am
my post ended up twice how did that happen
Amanda
August 29, 2014 at 3:53 pm
My situation is slightly different and takes time to explain. About 9 years ago I met this guy through a mutual friend and he was too shy to talk to me so I dated someone else. When that guy broke up with me a few months later I was a ball of emotions like most women and I turned to this guy friend for comfort. He picked up the pieces of my broken heart and glued them back together. Of course it didn’t take long before I loved him. We both dated other people but always came back to each other for emotional comfort after those relationships ended. He asked me out multiple times over the years and I told him I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship (I was scared. I was already in love with him and didn’t want him to know and hurt me).
2.5 years ago he finally convinced me that I should go on a date with him. He was the first person to say I love you, he bragged to all his friends about how amazing I was and I made him so happy. But about 6 months ago he started getting weird we had a discussion about “our future” we worked it out and stayed together. But he stopped putting any effort into our relationship and expected me to do all the “work.” 2weeks ago he met me and said he was done. We didn’t have enough in common and he just wanted to cut the losses. I find it interesting that he only because unsatisfied with our relationship after he stopped putting any effort into it. I realize that he had cold feet and got spooked about the prospect of a grown up relationship but how can he decide after 10 years that he’s lost interest. Why did he try so hard for so long to get me and then when he had me just broke my heart?
I haven’t had any contact with him in two weeks except to ask him to have his friend stop contacting me. I’d like to think he misses me as we were a major part of each other’s lives for so long. How do I know if he is missing me like I am, if we aren’t talking?
admin
September 2, 2014 at 12:09 pm
Impossible to know for sure but I think he will definitely miss you.
Kerisha
August 28, 2014 at 4:56 pm
My boyfriend of over three yrs told me few days ago to move on with my life because we are not compatible. Now I’m wondering y hes now just saying that. He is a very technical person, and at times very spiteful, who at times chooses not to contact me because hes waiting on me to do so. We havnt spoken since I guess “he broke up with me” And because of that I doubt that he’ll ever contact me again Eventhough he says he dont know why he loves me, I really do miss him. What do u think or suggest I do? Thank u
admin
August 29, 2014 at 11:58 am
I think a bout of NC can help your situation.
Kerisha
September 3, 2014 at 2:21 am
Ok thank you
Mary
August 28, 2014 at 2:59 pm
Hi, i was with my ex for 5 years, was close with his family and he was close with mine. He then told me 10 days ago, he wanted to live his life whilst he’s young and doesn’t want to miss out on doing things with his friends anymore.
We had a really good relationship. When he broke up with me he told me I would never hear that he has a new girlfriend or in a new relationship. And he will always love me and care about me, if I was ever in trouble I could always message him and he would rush to get there.
I’ve got to the point now with not seeing him for nearly two weeks or speaking to him I miss him so much and just wanna talk to him. š
But he seems to be getting on with his life going to the gym seeing his friends and stuff. Whilst I’m at home depressed trying to keep myself occupied.
What do I do? He also said when we broke up that if we want to make a go of it in the future we can.
Do you think he’s missing me as much as I am him?
Bleerghhh.
Help me!!!
admin
August 29, 2014 at 11:50 am
Has he held true to his word about not seeing other people?
Mary
August 30, 2014 at 3:13 pm
I think so? It’s been two weeks and I haven’t heard anything.
Genesis
August 27, 2014 at 1:26 am
Hello so im 20 yrs old my bf and i broke up about 2months ago, we were living together for 2 years approximately but just couldnt take it anymore. I am not sure if it all was because we got tired of each other or what the issue was, we have two kids a two yr old and a one yr old and it was pretty stressing especially when he wouldnt contribute on being a parent and would leave it all to me. I recently found out i was already pregnant when we split up until now is when weve had contact. The first two months we didnt speak he didnt know where i was at. We talked a while bk two weeks maybe more and he says he loves me still a whole lot but hes afraid he will hurt me again, (physically) and rather stay friends. I honestly love him and especially now but i dont really like the friend idea much, he wants to text me all day. Ex: he will get off work and text me im out or hel go to work but stop by at my place an hour before to spend some time. Ive tried so many times to get away from him and stop talking to him ,also maybe act a little indifferent when hes trying to be silly or make me laugh. But as much as i try he always manages to txt me something cute or send me videos or old songs of ours. I dont understand really what is going on? My sister says all hes doing is playing with me again. What do you think? I mean i cant stay away i have to let him see his kids and now the baby on the way. I want him back but im not sure if he wants me bk.
admin
August 28, 2014 at 12:23 pm
You are currently pregnant with his child? Do I have that right?
Naina
August 26, 2014 at 7:39 pm
It’s so funny what guys assume about a girl when they initiate a break up. I always expect the opposite(maybe my past has trained me to do so) but I always expect my ex to be doing everything in his power to get over me (i.e. hook up with other girls, party all the time, might-as-well-be-a-bachelor-party trips, etc.). It’s quite the shell shock when I find out that he may actually miss me. (I seem to attract the men that don’t really ever talk about their feelings to anyone.) Why do guys always assume that girls are miserable over them? It’s so interesting, I guess because I never really was that girl who couldn’t get out of her bed for a week. I always do exactly what this website tells girls to do post-break up.
Here’s the kicker: I think it’s better if someone goes through that break up ice cream sitting on the couch phase. I have a hard time allowing myself to do that personally because I don’t like how bad I feel actually allowing myself to experience those emotions. But I think I would have let those feelings out of my system far earlier if I let myself do that. If you pretend like you’re out having fun when you’re really miserable, it delays the healing process.
admin
August 28, 2014 at 12:04 pm
Yes, I agree. I think some experience in feeling miserable is a great lesson in how to handle similiar situations in the future.
Alyson Erbach
August 25, 2014 at 3:20 pm
Hi Chris! So I’ve been here once as now I’m back. And the reason why is because my boyfriend said he was done. He was done with everything and trying extra hard. But he is what happened this time..
So about a week ago I was watching my favorite show while my boyfriend was at his dads house. He then called me and I told him hey, let me just call you back in 15 minutes this show is just about over and I don’t wanna miss it. He got upset. He said he hasn’t seen me inn 3 days and he missed me and wanted to talk. He threatened that he would hang up. Then I was thinking that he didn’t really wanna talk to me then. We lost connection and then my sister that is at college facetimed me. I had no control of it. And then another part is that I couldn’t really trust him. The first time we broke up he left me for another girl. That’s hard to gain trust back if you feel like hell do it again! An in the past I was cheated on 4 or 5 times with the same guy so it kind of messed me up. I was trying to apologize and I want to work on it but he wasn’t understanding and he think I didn’t uderstand.
I would also not text him bak fast enough. He would text me and I would see it pop up but kind of forget about it if I was talking to my family or on the computer or something. I feel really bad about it.. When I went over to his housee the other day he said he couldn’t take it anymore and I was trying to ask for bother chance and then I can prove to him I can fix it. He said he gave me enough chance and he didn’t understand why I wasn’t working on it before when he first told me and only now. I honestly don’t know why I didn’t care before. But I really love him and he loves me I just want him to miss me and want him back. We just broke up I guess you could say. He didn’t change is Facebook relationship statues yet. I don’t know if I should be the bigger person to do it first or not. But I really want him back and would do anything in the world for him. We would talk about marriage and being together forever because we were perfect. I’m tow years out of high school and he is now a senior in high school please help. I’m doing the no contact thing starting yesturday. HELPPPPP!!
admin
August 26, 2014 at 1:01 pm
Seriously? Just because you wanted to watch a show he threatened to hang up?
Logan Erbach
August 27, 2014 at 1:35 pm
Yesssss!! And it sucked! But his own uncle texted me the other day asking what was going on with him and I said that I don’t really know he has been alittle different lately. But I’ve been texting his friends just to let him know that we aren’t together at the moment now and they said oh well I’m going to ask him why. But I told them it might make it worse and it did. I think I blew my chances. I’m not going to talk to him friends anymore because this is what happened last time. This sucks but I’m trying to a confindent and show him I’m happy and he might want me back.
jay
August 25, 2014 at 1:05 pm
Hey, okay so my ex and I haven’t been together since may we split up and he immediately got in to another relationship what may have been a rebound, anyway I didn’t speak to him whilst he was with the new girl (apart from once I’d run in to him on a night out with friends we got talking and he told me he wasn’t happy with the new girl and was telling me that when we were together he did love me but I had to many problems and it couldn’t work, he was bringing up memories and things and we had a good conversation and then left it at that) but then around 3 weeks ago they split up and I seen my ex on another night out we had both had a lot to drink and one thing lead to another, anyway we decided to keep it between us (I have told only close friends as its a big deal for me what happened) anyway after that we spoke a few times and I let him know i was there for him with him going through a break up and he was responding and then he stopped completely. I ran in to him a few days later and he never spoke to me I text him and said thanks for speaking (sarcastically) I received a text back the next day saying that he isn’t talking to anyone at the minute he needs time for himself and wants to focus on his work and not to take it personally. I found out at the weekend he had been on a night out with other girls I was a bit upset but I couldnt say anything, anyway I text him last night and he never replied. So is there any chance I could get him to miss me and would blocking him on facebook and deleting his number for a while be a good thing while I do NC I want to start working out and get in shape I want him to see me looking great of I run in to him
Thanks
admin
August 26, 2014 at 12:45 pm
Is he still with the new girl?
jay
August 27, 2014 at 12:03 am
No he isn’t with the new girl anymore we spoke after they split up things were going okay he was intiating conversation and then he just stopped texting after a few days I text him and his reply was ‘I don’t have time for anyone at the minute I’m not speaking to anyone until my head is sorted out I’m just focusing on my work, don’t take it personally I’m not talking to anyone at the minute’ i text back saying I thought you wanted to be friends and I never got a reply, I foolishly text him after 1 week NC saying I was out (with a mutual friend) and asked if he wanted to join us for drinks I never got a reply also I heard he was out at the weekend in a bar with a girl, what should I do from now on I want him to miss me.
Thanks
Anon
August 18, 2014 at 9:37 pm
Hey man. This article is really great. The worst part is that I got myself into this mess already knowing this stuff! I’m sort of in damage control mode now.
I broke up with my boyfriend about 6 months ago. Since then I haven’t been seeing anyone however I recently started talking to a guy I’ve known for awhile again. I always had a thing for him and we did kiss at a party once but we were very drunk so I didn’t think anything of it.
I should say this comment isn’t about my ex boyfriend, it’s about the new guy, but I’m still really hoping you can help. We were out on Friday night, and he was talking to me and flirting with me all night, like really going out of his way to spend time with me.
This is where I messed it up. I asked if he wanted to come home with me, so we did and I slept with him. I don’t regret it because I do like him, but I definitely regret doing it so soon since he hasn’t talked to me a whole lot since. I realise that I may have already ruined it and stupidly when I should’ve been in NC mode, I sent him a couple of messages.
I’m just wondering if I’ve already blown it or if it’s worth trying to salvage? I really like him or I’d have given up by now. Do you think he’ll even care if I’m NC if he hasn’t replied to my messages?
admin
August 19, 2014 at 2:27 pm
Would you say this friend of yours is a bit of a player?
Anon
August 22, 2014 at 11:52 pm
OK when you asked me that I thought in answering yes, hey I guess that’s my answer. It’s nearly a week since I’ve been following NCR and he sent me a message about an hour ago saying he’s been sick all week, which is ironic because I am as of kinda last night too.
I’m gonna finish NC after 30 days then we’ll see. Thank you!
kahbee
August 22, 2014 at 12:48 am
will NC work on a girl? do you have a site for guys who want to get their ex girlfriend back
Anon
August 19, 2014 at 5:37 pm
Yes lol
kahbee
August 15, 2014 at 8:18 pm
I been with my ex for 2 years and 2 months. He dumped me last saturday. I was being very stubborn to him when he wanted to hang with his friends but I insist he hang with me, I kept telling him I would talk to him weeks later and hurt his feelings. I felt awful. Is there anyway to win him back. He was a very good bf.
Tia
August 15, 2014 at 7:20 pm
Hi Chris
Love your stuff, just one question.
My boyfriend of 4 months been having a tough time in and out of hospital of late, he has no family and feels pretty alone other than me so I have tried not to bother him with stuff that might add stress. Thing is I now also have some hospital problems of my own but I wasn’t sure if I should burden him with more, I wanted his support as I am pretty scared.
He’s made time for me, introduced me to his friends as his girl, asked if we should get a place together in a couple of months, talked about the future but never really put a label on what we are doing. Last weekend I asked him if we had a future and where things where going so I could know if I should share my worries and he freaked out and said he needed more time to think so I called it quits. I really regret this, it was very irrational and I panicked.
I apologised after three days but not mentioned about why I acted out, then a few days later sent a positive text to see if he would respond and I’ve heard nothing back from either.
Do I send a final contact explaining what was going but also wishing him well on then go into no contact or will that make me seem needy?
Would I be better going straight into no contact?
I don’t want to make things worse.
Thanks x
admin
August 18, 2014 at 12:25 pm
I think you would be better going straight into NC.
ronnie
August 15, 2014 at 3:50 am
I figure you could help from the other side too? Me And my gf were dating for 8 months. Everything was perfect , like the first day we met . Until I started slacking and treating not bad, but not to my full potential. She broke up with me because of it. Going out and doing her thing. After 2 weeks we worked it out and had been great since. A week ago she said she needed to experience life and do her before she could settle down with me. which I understand. I have been nothing but a gentleman to her, massages after work, cooking whenever she was hungry, opening doors etc… She always said she would marry me one day and that I was perfect, the man of her dreams etc.. she couldn’t see to me to give me my stuff back so got it out of her truck and and she had left a note saying that. She had to do this, she hopes I will understand. And she can never be happy without experienc ing the social life. Which she never has. And that she. hoped God would bring us back together. Recently my buddy showed me where she had posted that she was happy and that she was glad I was no longer holding her down. I have made no contact with her since the breakup. I wished her the best said I’d always love her and have been waiting since. How do I go about this? She is my soulmate and all I want in life.
admin
August 15, 2014 at 2:54 pm
Check out my Ex Girlfriend Recovery site š
monae
August 14, 2014 at 2:39 pm
Hey please someone help me,
I have been seein this guy for almost a year now and 3 weeks ago he broke up with me because he said things are getting heavy for him other then that he said he doesn’t find my sexually attractive anymore cause i gain weight but he looked so confused one min he will say another thing we argued all all night but we ended up kissing and having sex again but he told me he cant deal with emotions, when dropping me off i told him to go n have a night out do whatever he wish for 2 weeks and will see after that if that’s what he wants and ill work on my weight etc, when i got home he rang me and asked me if i arrived home safely etc we didn’t talk for 6 days so i called him and he called me back i i told him i wanted to check if everything was alright we talked normal, we haven’t spoken since but deep down i still believe he loves me ?? And the worst part is i have to go back to his county and resit my exams and his the only person i known there should i go and stay at his place or call i dont know pls help
shreya
August 13, 2014 at 7:10 pm
i was in a relationship wid a guy from past 3 years. 2years before he had become frnd to a gal from his college and i saw her flirting wid my bf. Wenever we both met she always use to call him and ask why u did nt attend clg. I got angry n told him not to talk to her bt he refused so i conducted a loyalty test. I made fake account of a boy and use to chat wid my bf from tht account to check if he luvs me or not and use to say tht leave ur gf i wnt her just to check out if he is serious abt me or not.I was happy coz he really cared about me. But last month he asked me that was tht boy real so i said no it was me only who created fake account n use to chat wid him just to cross check. I did it coz i rly did not like him talking to tht gal and i really love him a lot n neva wanted to lose him. He did break up wid me last month n has blockedme from watsapp, fb everywhere mn said he has a gf now. Wat shud i do? he is my first luv n i m madly in luv wid him? also i m fat n he always complained about my fatness. Wat shud i do? will he ever come back to me?
admin
August 14, 2014 at 12:08 pm
Well, firstly you have to know that its creepy to create a fake account like that, right?
jasmine
August 13, 2014 at 3:21 pm
Hey!I didn’t broke up with my boyfriend for real but he’s insisting on breaking up with me. He said that he wants space. I want to give it to him but the thing is we’re living together and right now I don’t have any place to live. I mean I’m here at abroad and my family live in my homeland. Is it possible to get him back and love me again? I haven’t message him the whole day today because I don’t want to talk about breaking up. So he messaged and called me some minutes ago and asked what am I doing. Do you think he still care about me?
I’m really trying hard to fix our relationship but he said that it’s not working anymore. Can you give me some advise on what to do? I still love him. Is it too late to do something for our relationship to work?
admin
August 14, 2014 at 11:21 am
So, tehcnically you two aren’t broken up?
Marry
August 13, 2014 at 3:45 am
I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 month ago. We pretty much broke up through texting and he didn’t even bothered to give a call or chase me. He told me I deserve better than what he was giving me and he wishes a good life for me. We don’t have any sort of contacts at all for the past 2 month. I badly wanna MSG him as I miss him a lot lately but I’m scared of all this things that come to my head. Like if he gonna reply back, if he gonna think I’m too desperate for him. Or even if we do get bk together somehow, I don’t want him to tell me down the track that he didn’t wanted me and I went bk to him. I’m so confused and this stupid questions drive me more mad! I tried so hard to forget him, but it’s reali hard as he was my first boyfriend. I just don’t know wat to do??
Marry
August 15, 2014 at 2:35 pm
I broke up with my boyfriend about 2 month ago. We pretty much broke up through texting and he didnāt even bothered to give a call or chase me. He told me I deserve better than what he was giving me and he wishes a good life for me. We donāt have any sort of contacts at all for the past 2 month. I badly wanna MSG him as I miss him a lot lately but Iām scared of all this things that come to my head. Like if he gonna reply back, if he gonna think Iām too desperate for him. Or even if we do get bk together somehow, I donāt want him to tell me down the track that he didnāt wanted me and I went bk to him. Iām so confused and this stupid questions drive me more mad! I tried so hard to forget him, but itās reali hard as he was my first boyfriend. I just donāt know wat to do??
admin
August 18, 2014 at 12:12 pm
Try NC. Were you his first girlfriend?
Marry
August 24, 2014 at 1:40 pm
Na I wasn’t his first gf! But I msged him yesterday after 2 and a half month, and he actually replied bk to me. So wat I do now.?
Sarah
August 11, 2014 at 7:04 pm
Hi, I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 years in September of 2013. WE got back together then in January of 2014. However, the relationship only lasted a couple of weeks as we were both studying in separate universities and I was confused about the future of our relationship due the distance. So I ended the relationship again. We did not speak after we broke up. I started drinking heavily and going out a lot. My ex knew I was out partying a lot as we are still friends on facebook. I think this gave him the impression that I was not bothered by the breakup, but I was, I was drinking excessively to numb the pain. Five months past and I finally received a text from him saying I hope you are good and congratulating me for passing my final year exams. We exchanged a few casual texts that day and that was it. Then five weeks later I decided to text him saying hello and hope you are keeping well, but he did not reply. So a few days later I sent him a message saying I missed him and I was sorry for everything. I told him I wouldn’t text again as I felt he was ignoring me. Why did he not text me back?? Im confused, has he gotten over me????? please help I don’t know what to do.
admin
August 12, 2014 at 11:52 am
I know I just answered but one more thing, he probably holds some resentment from you breaking things off again.