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Anoniem
January 29, 2015 at 11:16 pm
hey,
so i have this problem with my now ex-boyfriend.
i was with him for 5 months and the first 2 months were amazing. He would tell me that he loves me every day and also say that he really wanted me, but after some time he would talk less on the phone and i was the one who would start a conversation. So i was with him a week ago and he was kinda sick so he fell a sleep and told me to ask one of hes friends to bring me home, so i did. In the car with his friend something happenend we were both drunk and I ended up giving him a BJ. Ofcourse my boyfriend found out and blocked me from Whatsapp so I deleted him on facebook. I just want to know, even though I messed up. Doesn’t he miss me, after telling me he loved me and than block me right away. Or are all my chances screwed up. I still miss him tho.
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:32 pm
He most likely does.
But he is probably very hurt….
You did screw up though.
Why did you delete him on Facebook? I mean, you were the one that messed up?
sarah
January 29, 2015 at 12:30 am
My ex and I broke up in july we had on and off period off no contact and started to see each other again in November. He he loves me but can’t give me what I want at this time anyway I was in a club and seen him he was looking after a friend and we had an argument he said some rude things and I there and then decided it was not worth it. I deleted him off everything and the next day he was telling me how much he cared but he just cant make me happy I told him I didn’t care and told him to drop my things off the next day he rang he seemed mad at me although I am okay. I’ve told him to keep my things because I dont want to see or speak to him again will no contact make him realize how important I am to him its been 3 days or should I just move on?
sarah
January 29, 2015 at 12:36 am
Basically we were back together but there was not a label on it we spent alot off time together and going out.
Jen a
January 28, 2015 at 11:17 pm
Ok so my bf just broke up with me I guess ? I had ended things because it felt like I wasn’t important in his life anymore. Example He would chose to get a tattoo over doing something for my birthday. Well we were trying to take things slow and work back into a relationship. But he still said we fought too much so he didn’t want to jump back in. Alright flash to today. He came over last night spent the night. Everything was fine so I thought. Then something this morning made him say he was done. He called me weak and that he doesn’t want to be with a weak woman because he doesn’t need to feel like I can’t take certain things. he said it’s for my own good that we are no longer going to be together. That he is completely done and does not think we are meant for eachother or will work out and I need to let him go and move on. Is there any way of making him change his mind and miss me? Or is that pretty much a dead end?
admin
January 29, 2015 at 2:54 pm
Do you agree with him?
Do you think your weak?
I don’t.
Jen a
January 29, 2015 at 3:49 pm
I know we all have times of weakness but you’re supposed to grow and learn. But us there any possible way of getting him to want me back? Or should I just give up and move on?
admin
January 30, 2015 at 3:35 pm
I would only give up if you absolutely felt you had no shot.
Susan
January 28, 2015 at 3:19 pm
I’m lost. My boyfriend and I were together for six years it wasn’t an easy relationship hehad full custody of his two children and their mother was not in the picture but I tried my hardest. he had been married and divorced twice when I met him we broke up last March because he said that he didn’t have the time to give me the attention I needed…it was hard but I walked away.
Three months later he came back telling me he made a horrible mistake and that he wanted to be a better man and wanted me to help him become a better man he said I belong by his side and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.. Fast forward six months there was no talk of moving in together getting married it was just more drama with his children who are now 19. We had a small argument at a family function back in November it after the party I texted him saying I was sorry for our disagreement and that I love him so much and was so happy that he was in my life. I always knew that we could work through everything he on the other hand texted me yes I said texted metelling me that he never wants to speak to me again that I should never call him ever again. It is been a little over two months and I’ve lost without him I really thought that we had everything it took. I have not heardfrom him nor have I tried to contact him please help me tell me what to do to get it back to what it was
admin
January 29, 2015 at 2:19 pm
Do you think his reason for breaking up, the full attention thing, was true?
K'La
January 28, 2015 at 7:50 am
I had been with my now x fiance for a little over 2 years. And I love him very much we have been apart for over a week now and everyday kills me a little more. I was the one who left(we lived together). Not because I wanted it to be over but because his attitude toward me had changed son much. I felt as if he couldn’t stand to be around me and he seemed to always be in a bad mood with me. In his diffence the past 2 years I have changed as well but I still tried to let him known I loved him, appreciated him, and remind him of how happy useto make him. He ttold me one night (because I asked why he didn’t touch me anymore) that I had change physically (I have gained 14 pounds in 2 years). I will say it hurt me and completely broke my confidence. Since then I have been this mad jealous woman. Anyways. I left because my birthday was in the middle of the week and he only gets one day off a week and he didn’t want to do anything for my birthday during the week so when the weekend came around I thought yea we will do something. Much to my surprise I woke up the mornrjng and he was getting dressed… I asked him where he was going and he said to eli’s. Said he was going to wake me up to kiss me before he left. In my head I thought well that will stil leave this evening to something. Much to my surprise he left at 10 that morning and didn’t return home til well after 6 by that time he had to shower and get his truck ready for work the next day. I was completely devestated. So the next day while he was at work I got me some clothes together and went to a friends. I thoughy maybe it would give him a wake up call. Instead it went the exact opposite way. He told me tonight that he did want me but still continues to tell me he loves me daily and is in love with me. Which has me completely confused. I screwed up cause I have cried and whined and begged to him everyday since I left and he absolutely refuses to even think about us working out. About every other day he ask me what he needs to buy when I move my stuff out cause everything but the couch is mine. I guess my question is… Can I still make him want me? Cause I know without a doubt that I want him. How can I make him want me? because I am driving myself crazy and probably my friends to. I am an emotional rollercoaster. But I know where my heart is.
I hope you can find the time to reply cause I could sure use some help. Thank you
admin
January 28, 2015 at 5:06 pm
Sure you can still make him want you. However, you need to take HIM on an emotinoal roller coaster (in a good way) when he thinks about you.
K'La
January 29, 2015 at 10:32 am
Not even sure how to do that. I have completely cut all contact with him. And from there I am lost.
shikha rajput
January 28, 2015 at 7:22 am
Hi,i was in realtionship from last two years but in mid of our relationship everything goes wrong, my X started givng excuses for break up that he doesnt love me and dont want to be with me but still we have completed two years of our relationship after so many disputes now one day suddnly he said that he cant go forward with this relationship as he doesnt feel good. or wan to make distance with mme…. i am not getting clear picture or the reason for break up. he just said that he cant move forward and i am unable to forget everythng,,,, i cant help myself to get over from this situation.
Jess
January 28, 2015 at 4:36 am
Can the same tactics be applied from our ex’s perspective? After my ex and I broke up he posted pictures before and after his marching band performance. Usually taking pictures is pretty rare for him, especially if he posts them on facebook. Could he have been doing that to show he wasn’t devastated?
admin
January 28, 2015 at 5:01 pm
What do you mean?
Like Facebook tactics?
Tatie
January 27, 2015 at 10:17 pm
So I met my ex right towards the end of October and from day one he was full on. Within the next couple of months he told me I was his soul mate, introduced me to his family, daughter, asked me to move in (which was way too soon and I didnt), gave me a key and was incredibly attentive. I was blown away bu it all as it had taken so long to let someone in again. We were both loved up and he told me he had never felt this way about anyone. However just over three weeks ago he changed. We never argued or anything he just turned sad all the time, wouldn’t get out of bed or even leave the house?!? I asked him what was wrong and he said it was to do with custody rights of his child. I said I loved him and would support him of this. However we were due to go to a party and he cancelled on me. I said to him that I was worried about him and he kind of ended it over the phone leaving me heartbroken. Two days later he contacted me asking if I was ok and I responded by saying I would go get my stuff from him the next day. I went to collect my stuff and to my surprise he wanted to talk to me – he told me he loved me and could work through it all. That was the last time I saw him. I text and spoke to him over that weekend yet he seemed distant. I text him the last message, it was so heartfelt and supportive I thought I would’ve received a reply. I’ve never heard off him since that was three weeks ago. I’m devastated and can’t understand what went wrong ….. I keep playing things over in my head but there was no catalyst. I really miss him
admin
January 28, 2015 at 4:21 pm
There is always a catalyst or a reason for a breakup. Usually what happens is a guy won’t tell you the reason.
Tatie
January 28, 2015 at 5:36 pm
But it’s left me questioning things when everything felt right and he told me that everyday. My instincts are telling me to contact him but I’m fighting against them. Should I leave it to see if he contacts me?
Mary
January 27, 2015 at 1:55 pm
Hello sir, I believe I need your help.
I had been with my boyfriend since the spring of 2011.
I had to leave for studies in September, I am 9 hours away from my homeplace and the relationship went downhill since then.
1. We had built a relationship without full trust and we were getting easily jealous/fighting with each other everytime one of us spoke to another person of the opposite sex.
2. We used to share all of our passwords up till November, which really messed us up.
3. We had lost ourselves because of the fights and the jealousy and the pain, and we lost it all in the end.
Let me start… We were fully in love and we showed it each other every day. We were always the “couple” to our friends, they thought we would always be together. We were arguing, “breaking up” and then going back together in a couple of hours every time, we just loved each other so much we couldn’t stay mad at each other. Yet, the past used to haunt us. We both made mistakes. In the first year, he had hit on my friend secretly and I found out from her a couple of days later, which drove me insanely mad. But I forgave him (that’s my mistake). One year later, I liked a friend of him and we started talking with more intimacy, but nothing happened, all we did was held hands and laughing during a trip. I left him because I wasn’t sure of how I felt, but in the end, I couldn’t leave my love for an excitement. We were together for 3.5 years and a couple of days when it happened.
Since I left for studies, I wanted to make new friends and get into the university climate. He is one year older than me. We are both each other’s first (and at least by my side only) lovers. (I think from his side so far too). We started fighting badly because I wanted to hang out with guys and girls, not just girls, and we were losing it. I didn’t want him to have girlfriends, and I know it was not fair of me, but I think we didn’t feel confident enough to trust people around our partner. Well, the nagging started, the blaming, the fights, and I think he had lost interest in me. I was devastated, I didn’t know what to do. I was just crying and saying this is not fair, because he started taking distance from me, we also changed passwords. In November, we actually kind of splitted and we didn’t know what we were anymore.
During staying here, I gained 20 pounds as well, because I was really in the edge of depression due to all the changes, and I felt really alone. I was never thin, but I went chubby enough. In December, when I was going back home, we had sex, but we weren’t together. When he was saying “whenever you’re here we can meet up and stuff and whenever you’re gone we won’t be talking” I felt like getting stabbed. So I started ignoring him and going out with my friends. On December 27th, he called me again, he said he wanted me to give him a last chance, because he was so in love with me and that he wouldn’t disappoint me. I did. But I didn’t feel ready enough I guess, I was still damaged inside. It both bothered me because I had lost my confident and still felt amazing being with him. We made up on Tuesday and on Sunday we had the most amazing sex, we were spending every day together, enjoying ourselves, laughing, and stuff. I became too needy and clingy without noticing. One week later, on January 5th or 6th, he dropped the bomb “I can’t do this, I feel so bad, you’re leaving again, when you’re here everything’s perfect, but when you’re gone I feel alone”. It felt like someone punched me really hard in the stomach. I went even more needy and desperate, because I was feeling so good that I actually started believing in him again. I was hanging out with him every day up till Friday after this, but he was always ending up in “we can’t be together, I need space”. I wasn’t giving it. So I gave up, I broke out on him. On Saturday, I went out with friends and completely ignored him. He told me he was sorry and that he loves me and that he only asked for space. I accepted the “space” rule but I put conditions. That night, he found out that I had been webcamming with another guy, but we talked “bad” with that guy, not cyber-ing, just dirty talking and hints.It happened when we weren’t together and he was a friend of mine, who loved me. My ex went really mad, started being extremely cold, said we would never be together after this. I went again clingy and desperate, it scared me. All of our common friends and my friends told me he found the perfect excuse to leave, and that he used it on his advantage. A couple of days later, after I went back to the place I am studying, I kept talking with him. Things were calm. When I was referring to the relationship, we would say we’d never be together again and that he can’t forgive me, and I felt really mad inside, because he was the one messing with me so long and because I did sth stupid, he was using me as a door-mat. 4 days later, after letting him talk to me so bad and humiliate me in phone, I’ve had enough. I never called him again. This happened on Thursday night. On Monday, I had my birthday. He called me at Sunday night to tell me happy birthday first, but I went cold and said “thanks, bye.” Then he started posting statuses about honesty and trust and things about me on facebook. I went mad because his behaviour was childish and called him and told him off, he didn’t admit they were for me, so I hang it up. 6 days after NC had passed and he was having mood-swings, trying to catch my attention. One thing bothered me and on Sunday, I called him. I was completely normal. He had made a deck of a game for me, exclusively, and when we fought I had given him back. He had posted that he was selling it, and I got bothered and I called him still being faceless and normal. He said he did this while hoping for me to see it. He said he is really bad and misses me.I told him we can’t do this now, we’re not ready for this. We’ve been through a lot, past is in the past, we need time. He agreed, he was sounding like a mess. Now it’s Tuesday, 2 days later, and I am keeping up with NC. During our call, I admitted that I have still feelings for him and he said he loves me and that if he didn’t love me, he would have done things with other girls, which pissed me off and I went defensive saying “I don’t care, you can do whatever you want, guys hit on me too but I don’t rub it on your face.” (which is true, there are many guys hitting on me now that I am single). Now it’s Tuesday, I broke the NC rule. In 20 days, he has birthday and I don’t know if I should call him at that time or just text him. Also, I am delaying going back home because I am not ready to go face to face with him. I really miss him but inside, I am a big mess. I feel jealous. I don’t want him to go with other girls and I am just confused. But if he did, I wouldn’t say a word now, I don’t want him to think that I care, I want him to care if he will. I need your advice please. What should I do and what can I do?
Mary
January 27, 2015 at 4:08 pm
Also, he started university as well in this year, we study in different universities, there are girls interested in him I suppose. It’s weird, the whole situation, but I think we have the strength to keep the relationship if we get back. I think though… I am not sure.
Kelly
January 27, 2015 at 9:17 am
My boyfriend and I hae been dating for nearly 2 months and he told me he won’t be able to see me for 4 months and tomorrow is the last time I can see him I asked him if he was going to break up with me he said He isn’t going to say anything he will explain it all tomorrow. I know for sure he is going to break up with me but now I don’t know what to do. Please help!!!
admin
January 27, 2015 at 3:17 pm
But he hasn’t broken up with you yet?
Gary
January 26, 2015 at 1:44 pm
So I got ‘dumped’ for want of a better word last week.
I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 months with an amazing guy, we spoke everyday, or several times a day, we sent each other gifts, he came to visit me in the UK for a week, we told each other we loved one and other and I would take care to show him how much I cared and felt for him.
He never wanted to define the relationship and sometimes I pushed maybe to hard for more, but wouldn’t ever enforce it on him.
We made some plans to spend some more time together in the summer and I suggested that I could make more time to visit during breaks from work.
He called me and said that it wasn’t working for him, the long distance but he loved me and that I was perfect, and if he was looking for someone it would be with me, I guess I got a lot of mixed messages and don’t know quite what he meant.
I love him very much, and he is my first love. I spoke to him to get him to reconsider putting across a number of thoughts/perspectives which might have been too much for him as he said, ‘I don’t love you, I’m sorry’ he said we would speak later and then never called. I have tried to give him some space and not push for that call but don’t know what to do. I know we are perfect for each other and although the distance is a factor now, it wouldn’t be in the future I am sure. I worry if it’s about the relationship with him mother and that she will disown him if he starts a relationship with a man, and that this commitment will be too much for him?
Do I give him space? I know I can’t give up on him though.
Help!
admin
January 27, 2015 at 2:07 pm
Right now yes… give him some space through NC. Also, read some of my other articles specifically geared towards LDR’s
Gary
January 27, 2015 at 12:08 pm
So last night, after a couple of days,he called. I ignored the call, which killed ,e, and then left in about 30 mins before saying I was in the shower. He text back and said he would try to call later but never did. Do I now open channels of communication or wait for another call?
e.p.
January 26, 2015 at 9:11 am
Hello,
Ok so I need help. I’m really confused.So my ex boyfriend and I had been together for 4 years and a couple months and we have a 2 year old daughter. We started dating when he was 16 and I was 17 (we’re a year & a week apart.) At first when we started dating he was always calling and texting me and I was more of the distant one. After like 3 months of being in our relationship we had an argument over my birthday plans and he broke up with me I realized I actually loved him after I couldn’t even enjoy my birthday let alone it was my 18th birthday. I reached out to him and told him I missed him he said he did too and that he wanted to get back.
We got back together and everything was fine. We started getting more serious and we spent everyday and every single minute possible together. We were inseparable until one day little by little things started changing. A month before our 1 year anniversary he broke up with me and said it was better if we broke up. It was out of the blue I had just seen him and even spent the night at his house the whole weekend.
I told him we can talk about it but he said no but then that we can talk when he came back from his trip to Vegas. So he came back and 3 days later we talked in person and we said he didn’t love me anymore, I cried and practically begged him to get back and that we can make it work. He didn’t take me back and said sorry it didn’t work out. I was depressed and started going out a lot it helped me to forget him BUT we have the same friends so we’d run into each other but I’d just ignore him and we’ll say hi out of courtesy but didn’t try to conversate.
I would text him at night when I was drinking or felt like I needed to tell him how I felt. He would reply sometimes but he would just say no. After being broken up for 2 months I texted him one night and asked if we had any chance on getting back. He said no that we would never get back. I said ok and that I would leave him alone. I did but I was hurt. I still continued seeing him at parties and 2 times he took 2 different girls with him to the parties.
By this time he was 18 and I was 19 years old. We has been broken up for 5 months already almost 6 months and one night at a party we started talking we were drinking and next thing you know we’re kissing and bam we’re back together. He kept saying he never stopped loving me and that he missed me so much that he’s never missed a girl so much like he’s missed me. That he never wanted to let me go again etc.
We were good for a month but then he started accusing me of hooking up with his friends when we were broken up. I would hang out with his friends but because we had mutual friends I told him I didn’t and it was a huge thing. We would break up for like an hour and then get back. We were like this for like 5 months then we found I was pregnant.
This changed everything and we decided to leave the past behind. I never told him anything about the girls he would bring around when we weren’t together so we felt it was best to move forward. Then one day I happen to go through his facebook (we were ok with us going in each others phones but I know not healthy) I wasn’t expecting to find anything I trusted him but i don’t know why I still looked. I found him messaging girls saying they were the most beautiful girls he’s ever seen. He denied having a gf (I was 6 months pregnant when I saw all this) we lived together so for him to deny me was tough. I would go work and god knows what he was doing.
I confronted him about it he owned up to it and apologized said he was stupid and that didn’t mean it etc. I forgave him and we worked it out and moved past that. By this time I was 20 and he was 19 now. I had our daughter in Jan.2013 and everything was going great. We were happy and no more sneaky things but then I starteD feeling insecure about how I looked. I had stretchmarks and had gained weight. I would accuse him of wanting other girls and then we started arguing. I started to become a bit bitter and I wasn’t happy with myself.
Months pasted and we kept trying to make it work I then turned 21 and him 20. 2014 has been our worst year ever. After our daughter turned one like 4 months after he started going out to parties with his friends and wouldn’t even invite me anymore. I started to feel left out and I wanted to come along but if I’d mention to tag along he’d get mad and sometimes he’d prefer to stay in than to take me. One day again I saw his facebook and text messages. He was doing his sneaky things again and started talking to girls and flirting.
I confronted him again and we broke up for like 3 days. we got back and decided to keep trying. It was until like July that things started getting weird. I felt him distant and I can just feel him staying away. I had asked him about going out with him that night but he got mad and then left to work. I texted him saying it wasn’t a big deal I’m his gf. He then replied saying he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. That he didn’t want me. I moved out and he then went looking for me and we talked up front and said everything we didn’t like about each other.
He told me he didn’t want to be with me because of my weight and that I had let myself go (which I had) I told him I’d work on that but he had to stop talking to girls. He said he’d stop. He didn’t actually start to drastically change until he started his new job in august. He started to become more irresponsible. He started drinking everyday, going out and sometimes wouldn’t even come home. My aunt’s bf had got him the job so he was always with him. I told him he was changing but he wouldn’t listen. We got even worst in October he started hanging out with girls and would lie about when he went to work.
I caught him so many times but he kept saying he was sorry that he loved me and he didn’t know why he did that. Like 2 weeks before the official break up(Nov.12) he told me he loved me, that he never wanted lose to me, that he realized I was the only person who would ever be there for him. That we just needed to work on our relationship. We tried but he kept lying and hanging out with girls. I broke up with him but again like always we got back together. Then the day before my 22 birthday he broke up with me. I didn’t take it that bad because we always break up and get back.
Then 4 days later I get a call from my friend that my ex was in jail for a dui(3 days before turning 21) that he had told them to call me. I came up with the money to bail him out and was on my way to visit him but then he called me and somehow he had bailed himself out. Also forgot to mention I had moved back in. Anyways I thought maybe after this we’d be ok again but I was wrong. He stayed with a friend for a couple days and he then texted me that we couldn’t be together because we just couldn’t get along.
I told him we couldn’t get along because of what he did. I begged him to try it out but he kept saying no that he didn’t love me anymore and that he wasn’t attracted to me that he was attracted to someone else. What was confusing was that he kept texting me when he felt down or just to talk like advice but then he would stop replying and wouldn’t answer me. I then decided to talk to him and see if we can work on it he said no. I decided to stay maybe like that he would take me back.
on Dec.12 I found out he’s in a relationship with some girl I know. But they must have started to date like a week after we broke up. I confronted him and he said when he was locked up he wasn’t talking to her yet. So I don’t understand when they did. He then said she was helping him alot and that he’d helped her a lot as well. I got angry because all I’ve ever done was help him and support him in everything.
He said she was giving him gas money and that she took him food that she was a grown woman. I’m 22 and he’s 21 now. I told him I was looking for a job but that he was the one that would tell me not to work and focus on our daughter so for him to throw that in my face. Anyways I left for a week & stayed at my mom’s but didn’t take everything from his house. He begged me to go back saying that our daughter needed us to be together (not as a couple just living together ) I told him no. That I wasn’t happy and that he was in a relationship and I wouldn’t be a part of that.
He said he would stop working there but i don’t know if that’s suppose to make me feel better but it didnt. The thing is he is still with her. He met her through the job so if he leaves the job he leaves her behind but he would go visit her I’m sure. I want him back I do and I started regaining confidence. I’ve lost a lot of weight almost back to my old self before my daughter but I’m doing this for me. I’m looking for a job and trying to move forward for myself and daughter but the thing is I still love him.
I went back for Christmas & ended up staying a week but during that week I decided to write him a letter saying that I agreed with the break up that we both needed to work on ourselves & that maybe one day we can get back. On new years eve I ended up packing everything & moved out. I didn’t want to start the year in all that.
Everyone in his family and even a couple of his close friends say that he’s gonna regret it when he sees I’m doing well and that I have my life together. They also say they’re sure the relationship won’t last but I don’t what to think that. I love him and as crazy I may seem I really do think he’s the one. We had been great before this new job well good but we were always down to work on it but after this new job he changed a lot and his family thinks the same.
I don’t know if maybe it’s because now that he turned 21 he feels free because a lot of guys I know say that they felt free at 21 and all they wanted to do was be single and mess around. Although he’s with this girl one of his friends told me that he was talking to another girl too so he’s not even being faithful to this one girl. I know I may seem stupid for wanting him but I honestly feel he can change.
His family notice that our relationship was different than any other relationships he had been in. I honestly know he was in love with me I would feel it and he would show it and I still feel like he does but he’s just confused and doesn’t want to commit now. I did tell him though that I was done begging him and if that’s what he was expecting then to not hold his breath because I was done begging. I told him I want you but I don’t need you. I can live without you. I love you but I’m done begging.
Also his cousin told me on Christmas that he told her he was done with that girl but I found out just recently that he’s still hanging out with her. Is it really a rebound or is it more serious? We’ve been broken up for 2 months now. I am focusing on myself I just need help and to see if I even have a chance or is he really done with me. I love him so much and I want my family back together. I know we took each other for granted. Sorry for this being so long.
Also he came to visit our daughter on Thursday night(Jan.22) after work and so he was around me but we decided to hang out at my best friend’s house, since I moved back in with my mom. She’s my neighbor and her boyfriend is friends with him so it worked out fine. So he was very friendly with me and was acting like the dad I’ve been wanting him to act like for months. He’s not a bad dad but I know he can do better than he had been showing.
We weren’t all up on each other I gave him his space to be with our daughter but he’d ask me a couple things or joke around as a group. We got along quite well, better than we had in a couple months of when we were together. Also I feel like he still has feelings for me but keeps trying to deny them. I love him and still want him back and I was ok with the idea if it doesn’t happen. I don’t know what happened but my mentality changed like I was open to new things. Again I love him with all my heart but I found myself not worried so much about his social media or thinking about what he’s doing. I pretty sure he’s most likely still talking to that one girl.
Another thing we seen each other again 2 days later(Jan.24) after he came to visit to see our daughter but only to pick up our daughter he started talking to me about his job & what he’s been going through there. He’s nice to me and we actually get along. I don’t feel awkward being around him or to see him anymore. It feels nice to know we can get along after he swore we couldn’t and thats why he broke up with me.
I have made some physical changes in my life I went from being 160 lbs to 129 lbs so that boosted up my self-esteem and I feel great. I actually feel I’m maturing a bit from this situation little by little. Again not going to lie to myself or anyone by saying I don’t want him back because I still do and I still love him.
But do you think he might miss me? I don’t call him at all just text and it’s only about our daughter. He’s called me only about our daughter too but I ask him something through text and he replies but then calls me. He was first avoiding me I noticed but now he actually can be around me. He’s nice to me when he sees me in person and he tries to tell me things about his job. By now we’ve been 2 months broken up and almost a month of me moving out.
I was fine and I have hope that we will get back but just today it hit me that I miss him so much. Might because he’s being a great dad to our daughter and also cause I love him. But anyays I feel he misses me but at the same time he might not because if he did he would approach me right? Also i was super needy and desperate, crying and begging him to take me back so he might still think of me as that since we’re still fresh but he’s probably slowly seeing that I’m not since I’m putting up a show. I want him to see me as how we did before a confident woman. I’m confused. Help!
admin
January 26, 2015 at 4:30 pm
Hi there,
I am really proud of the changes you made physically. That is not easy to do trust me.
Have you attempted NC at all?
e.p.
January 26, 2015 at 10:43 pm
Thank you. I’m really proud of myself as well. Well I don’t contact him unless it has to do with our daughter. We have a 2 year old daughter so we still have to keep in touch for her. I don’t call him just text but it’s very minimal. Since I’ve moved out I’ve only seen him 4 times and only because he comes to pick her up and/or drop her off. Also recently he came to visit her here so he was around me too. But I’m trying minimal NC again since we have a toddler.
LuckyMe
January 31, 2015 at 3:55 pm
One word for you… Therapist! Who the H writes all this stuff… Who wants to read this. I don’t and didn’t. Less IS MORE dear:/
Brenda Rodriguez
January 26, 2015 at 4:15 am
Hi,
I just read your article. Thanks so much for writing it!
A lot of the tips you wrote are very helpful. Especially
the having a social life and taking care of yourself (working out)
part.
Great Job 🙂
-Brenda
admin
January 26, 2015 at 4:03 pm
Thank you!
This made my day!
Tameka
January 25, 2015 at 11:58 pm
I’m very confused. I found out on Christmas that my boyfriend of 3months had his baby mama living in his house with his dad and himself. They were still having sex and everything. He lied dead to my face. Fortunately the baby mam got mad bc of the Christmas gift and spilled the beans. Even after he continued to lie. So I was able to get her to come to my house to confront him. I decided to give him another chance immediately. Stupid!!! I know. So recently I found out he has been taking her to work behind my back. I caught him in a lie. Called her than called his mother etc long story. Anyway I broke up with him to let him think about what he really wants. I love this not so much and I don’t know what to do. I hope he chooses me in the end but without the abuse. What should I do?
admin
January 26, 2015 at 3:58 pm
Your ex boyfriend… Is not a good guy.
He seems like he is enjoying juggling two women.
Elli
January 25, 2015 at 12:36 pm
hi
I know my boyfriend for 2 years but we are friend for 1 month,everything is going well.but my boyfriend told me I am too good for him and he needs to think.I know he is afraid of being in love.
What can I do now?how can I convince him to stay?
admin
January 26, 2015 at 3:48 pm
Has a breakup occurred yet.
Lynn
January 24, 2015 at 9:15 pm
Hi so I am just devastated probably as everyone else is on here. A quick question. I have been with someone for over 3 years (me 31f and him 35m). We live together and own two businesses together, we travel back and forth between Canada and us (he is canadian) (I am american) He decided one week ago that he never wanted a relationship but doesn’t want to break up. I of course became emotional and pushed him to decide if he wanted to stay together or go. He decided to break up with a caveat that he would like to reconsider a relationship with me in 6 months. I feel completely devastated and I thought things were better we had issues like this in the past where he wasn’t sure, but we went to counseling and it seemed like things had gotten better. Here is my issue I love him and want him back, I have had no contact for 3 days, but he has already called me once and texted 3 times. I haven’t responded. I don’t even know what to say, mind you we also have financial and business issues that do need to be worked out at some point so NC is difficult, I don’t want to seem petty and hurt what we have both built, I also didn’t want to break up. How do I respond? Do I respond? When do I respond? The texts were like did you make it back and how is the house? (I flew home from canada). Is there a wrong way to respond or do I even have to? What will help us get back together later? Is there any hope?
admin
January 26, 2015 at 3:29 pm
Welcome to the devastation site where we help devastated young females gain control of their love lives!
You don’t have to contact him if you have decided to do NC.
Chels
January 24, 2015 at 4:40 pm
Okay, so my ex broke up with me a few days ago (2days before my birthday) he said he felt trapped and controlled. He knew this weren’t the case because I told him before we got together, I’d never be the type of girlfriend to say he can’t go out or see his mates. He works 5 days a week and I saw him every weekend (he didn’t have to come every weekend) I’m a wreck but he seems fine, he’s extremely blunt with me and doesn’t like it when I tell him how I feel. He says he loves me but it’s too late to work things out. I don’t think its too late because there was no fight. We made it a mutual agreement to break up because I didn’t want to lose him as a friend aswell as a boyfriend. I love him to pieces but I don’t know what to do. He says we won’t get back together but he sometimes still gives me hope
admin
January 26, 2015 at 3:25 pm
It is extremely tough to go from being a couple to just friends…
Stephanie
January 24, 2015 at 12:27 am
Hi Chris,
You probably receive a million emails a day but I’d be grateful to get a response from you. My boyfriend broke up with me because I told his “ex girlfriend” the truth about my relationship with him. I’ve most probably confused you. I met him in 2011 and it was a very casual relationship. I was happy with it and so was he. Over time we developed feelings for each other and ultimately we fell in love. Everything was fine and we became really close and our relationship developed into something more. It all changed in January 2014. I received a phonecall from a woman who claimed to be his girlfriend. I was devastated and really hurt by this. A few days after finding out about this, he decided to take me out for lunch to talk about things and he said that he did have a girlfriend and they’re not together anymore. A month passed and I forgave him and I saw a good change in him. However 2014 wasn’t an easy year as I became very insecure. In July of 2014 he called me by accident and I heard him have a conversation with another woman. He claimed that he was single and it broke my heart. After a while he realised that I heard the conversation and he called my phone nonstop. He was very apologetic. I let it slide and I got over it. Another incident happened and this time he went to the movies with his ex girlfriend who phoned me in Jan 2014. He claimed he was not hiding it from me because he posted what he was doing on snapchat. I was hurt again and until this day he insists that he’s just friends with her. In Dec 2014 I saw a photo album of 104 pics of him and his ex. I hit the roof, I hit him twice. He asked me to leave.As soon as I left, I sent his ex a series of messages. I couldn’t take it anymore. I phoned his ex and told her everything about his cheating ways and how long he had cheated on her for. She didn’t reply to my messages but she was quick to tell him everything I sent. He broke up with me because I had told her, he’s made me feel guilty. He said he doesn’t trust me and that I’ve betrayed him. I tried to go no contact with him but I broke it after 19 days. He’s still angry but for some reason he calls me by pet names and claims to miss me and thinks me all day and night. He says he doesn’t want to completely cut off communication and he’ll contact me in 90 days. He’s blocked me on twitter, snapchat, whatsapp. I don’t know what to do. Why does he say he misses me? What should I do? He says he no longer loves me. I asked him why he wants to contact me after 90 days and he said he will call to see how I am doing. He’s very angry will he get over it? By the way I haven’t called him since.
admin
January 26, 2015 at 2:43 pm
I do receive a lot of emails a day but I am happy to respond to you.
So, he says he no longer loves you but he misses you?
Stephanie
January 26, 2015 at 7:17 pm
Hi Chris,
I’m so glad that you replied. He said he no longer loves me but he misses me. He Claimed that he thinks about me when he wakes up and when he goes to sleep. That’s what he said when I called him last week. I just can’t get my head around how someone could fall out of love so quickly. I reminded him of what he said when he broke up with me but claims he never said that he can’t give me the security that I need and that I’m better off without him. I’m sooo confused.
admin
January 27, 2015 at 2:35 pm
Seems to me that a lot of the issues lie with him internally.
I also think your not getting the real reason for the breakup.
Stephanie
January 27, 2015 at 4:03 pm
I think you’re right. What do you suggest I do? Carry on with no contact? Do you think he’ll come back?
admin
January 28, 2015 at 3:09 pm
Yes, carry on with NC.
Stephanie
January 28, 2015 at 3:49 pm
Thanks for all of your help. It’s just so difficult, I just want answers but I don’t think I’ll ever hear the trUth. This might sound like a dumb question but what do guys mean by ‘I need space’?
admin
January 29, 2015 at 2:20 pm
Sometimes thats exactly what they mean… they just need space.
Of course, sometimes its just something for them to say to get you off their true feelings.
Stephanie
February 3, 2015 at 10:00 am
I seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me. I broke no contact again. I received a whatsapp broadcast message. I asked him to remove me from the list and he didn’t eeply. Instead he added me on snapchat and deleted me again minutes later. Why is he doing this?
Stephanie
February 3, 2015 at 2:39 pm
I know. I suppose it won’t be effective if I try again?
admin
February 4, 2015 at 1:51 pm
It might be…
admin
February 3, 2015 at 1:45 pm
Yous houldnt have broken NC…
Stephanie
February 3, 2015 at 10:11 am
I’ve also been feeling a lot worse. I’ve started to keep a journal. It’s now a month since the break up. I’m not in a good place, I cried in public yesterday.
Stephanie
January 29, 2015 at 10:19 pm
You’ve been great. I reckon he’ll come back when he’s ready. I’ve just got to stop myself from calling/texting him.
admin
January 30, 2015 at 4:16 pm
You can do it stephanie!
Stephanie
January 28, 2015 at 8:13 pm
He also claims to not be in love with me. Ir should be easier for him to forget me and not miss me I suppose?
Stephanie
January 27, 2015 at 4:40 pm
is it common for guys to lie about the real reason. I also reckon he would have disappeared if I didn’t ask where I stand with him.
admin
January 28, 2015 at 3:11 pm
Yes, I would say it is a common thing.
Stephanie
January 26, 2015 at 7:21 pm
He also said that he’s lost me but he’s the one who broke up with me. I don’t get it.
admin
January 27, 2015 at 2:32 pm
Men are kind of wacky like that.
They always put themselves in the victim role.
Jana
January 23, 2015 at 10:23 pm
Okay so, my boyfriend and I both agreed to Break up because he started to like not care about our relationship so I thought I should give him space so I did but it became worse so I told him it’s either you do your part in this relationship or we break up and he said he wants to break up so we did. it’s been a week and I really miss him. The only problem is that I see him everyday at school and he ignores me. I texted him today and he answered but he was being annoying and I really miss him what should I do? 🙁
admin
January 26, 2015 at 2:38 pm
Keep on with the NC rule and read some of my articles on it so you know how to handle the situation at school
Kelsey
January 22, 2015 at 5:13 pm
Okay so me and my ex josh didn’t date for very long but we were friends for 6 years 1st. see him and his baby mom gotten back together but me and josh still text like every day like before we always have been attracted to each other and I was wondering if there was a way of convincing him I’m the better women
admin
January 23, 2015 at 4:11 pm
Is josh with the baby mom?