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Sissy
April 22, 2015 at 3:54 pm
Hi, me and my boyfriend broke up after two years and we have one daughter together . He cheated and moved in with another girl. I say I don’t want him ever if he was want to come back .but I text him daily I am trying to do the no contact with him cause then he will think I have moved on . But I fail every time . My heart loves and misses him dearly but my mind says leave him alone . I really want him back do you think if try the no contact he will eventually come back .
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2015 at 12:33 am
If you do the NC rule you will certainly raise your chances.
Pauline
April 22, 2015 at 1:50 pm
My boyfriend broke up with me 3 days ago after almost 2 years. We’re long-distance but we’re still talking, and he says he’s just not ready for commitment and wants to take some time to figure himself out. He says I’m the only one for him but it’s not fair to me to be with someone who has second thoughts (about commitment) and wants to get rid of them. Then he plans to come back in about a year and beg me to take him back – (I’m under no obligation to actually do that, or to wait for him). Stupid, I know. Is no contact the only way to make him miss me?
Chris Seiter
April 23, 2015 at 12:31 am
No there are a lot of other ways it’s just the most effective one.
Jess
April 21, 2015 at 11:15 am
Hi,
My boyfriend of one year and I recently broke up last week. I was totally in love with him, we lived together for 8 months. He is definitely not an emotional guy, and not exactly in touch with his feelings. I am the complete opposite. I always put in 100% into our relationship and he could hardly give me 50. I wanted more attention and to feel appreciated from him, and surprisingly he wanted more space. These different “wants” causes arguments between us often which would go in circles. He would often say he doesn’t want to lose me, and that he loves me. We had a hiccup about 2 months before we broke up where I saw some messages to another girl, he had his “reasons” and I chose to give him another chance although my trust in him was now to a minimum. This made me worry more, I would worry and stress over him messaging other girls and I would find myself checking his phone to see who he was contacting.. this also pushed him further away although it was his mistake which made him like this. We were texting one day whilst he was at work and he was saying how he thinks I should move back out so that he could get the space he wanted and we could work. This for some reason didn’t sit right with me, I lost it. Started freaking out through text, and ultimately (added with his no replies) I broke up with him. We met that afternoon, and I semi regretted my decision but unfortunately I pushed him with my crazy constant texting/calling to breaking point and he didn’t want to be with me anymore. This made me absolutely devastated, I constantly messaged/called him for the next 4 days asking for him to talk to me and to take me back. He hardly replied. (I know I was acting crazy but I love him, I thought I could get him back). Ultimately he met with me Sunday, we talked and he pretty much now thinks I’m crazy because how I reacted (which I was in a sense), I tried to explain myself but he said I pushed him until he broke and he doesn’t want to be with anyone and he likes his independence. I’m still so hurt and miss him so much, it’s hard going from seeing someone every day to nothing at all.
I don’t want to hold onto the idea of us getting back together because I feel like I’ve ruined that because I didn’t give him the space he asked for, if anything I went so overboard in the opposite direction, but I would like to know what I can do to give me the best chance of him maybe missing me..
I did everything for him at the house, washing, cooking etc. Surely he will miss that at some point?
I understand I need to give him space and not contact him but it is literally SO hard.
Help me!
Chris Seiter
April 21, 2015 at 6:04 pm
I think he will but it will be down the road. Luckily, NC is ideal for a situation like this.
Richard
April 21, 2015 at 5:05 am
My bf and I broke up 2 weeks ago with NC after 6 weeks of dating. He unfriended on face book yesterday. Although it was a LDR relationship we texted and spoke over of the phone many times a day and l thought we were progressing well between us. I have visited him twice and it was whilst over the Easter break the first 4 days were great together he accused me of stealing a bottle of water! I explained that l did not steal the water. He said good on you if you did steal but tell me as l need to know l can trust you as you live in Melbourne and l live in Cairns. I thought we cleared it up and we went on with our day. 2 days later it came up again where he did not believe me as he rang the place whilst l was in the shower and asked how much the bottle of water cost. I explained myself and said you are now insulting me l said l am going back home and changing my flight. When we got back to his place and he changed from a loving, caring, wanting me, where he told me I am important to him, you may have found love and l would chase you if you went to another country for a holiday to a person to then saying he is not feeling anything, if I wanted you I would say so and l don’t love you. After leaving Queensland in shock where he lives and returning to Melbourne. I have not heard from him which is 2 weeks, he unfriended on face book yesterday. My family have suggested l buy him shirt as a means of gratitude for him for his friends upcoming wedding. I am experiencing all these thoughts, is our relationship over? Is he waiting for me to make contact 1st? Continue on the NC? Send him the shirt next week?
Chris Seiter
April 21, 2015 at 5:59 pm
Continue at this point.
Cheska
April 21, 2015 at 4:58 am
My ex and I last for almost two years with three breakups. Our last break up is a month ago. I can say we really love each other but the problem is his family. They dont want our relationship. I am a good person but I don’t get the point they didn’t want me for their son because of my family background. After the break up he said he misses me and randomly message me with stuff. Does He want me again? I really still love him.
Chris Seiter
April 21, 2015 at 5:56 pm
I wouldn’t go that far but I will say that its a very good sign.
Crystal
April 21, 2015 at 2:54 am
I remember when this boy gave me I his number at outdoor school he was really mean to me after a while and a few weeks ago he started dating this other girl that was the total opposite of me:-(
Chris Seiter
April 21, 2015 at 5:45 pm
Huh?
Is this a response to a previous comment?
Dani
April 20, 2015 at 3:29 pm
Hi Chris,
Wow where to start. Ok so I met Adam jan 2013 at work. I also broke up with my ex boyfriend Harry that month too. Me and my ex have stayed friends. So I met Adam in jan, went for lunch and we dated from there. It was the relationship is been looking my whole life. Our relationship was Very passionate, always laughing,we would spend a lot of time together.. We were best friends and would talk for hours and hours. Go on adventures together and also started saving for a house. We were together for 22 months. He’s a shy kind of guy who is in no way arrogant or egotistical. I feel like I need to give you this info about him as he’s very different from any man, or women I’ve ever met. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago. Before that we were on a break for three weeks were we would talk abit over txt but he never txt me first that was always me. He wanted the break because of trust issues..and his guard being up because of that. When he ended it he said “I don’t want a relationship right now” and that “there’s no trust to build from” I cried a little and he stood up and said “in gonna go” I gave him a hug and he went. I haven’t contacted him in three weeks, as I’ve purchased you’re ebook. With the no contact rule in place as we speak. But the difference here is its not me ignoring him because he also hasn’t contacted me either, so I’m unsure on how the NC will work for me? I’ve hurt him deeply and tried to explain my reasons why but he wasn’t interested in talking when he came over to end it. He lives in my mums partners flat but is now moving out. I know this as Andy (mums partner) told me. He also took “our relationship” off face book, I know that sounds immature but it’s just info I thought you should know. He did that 2 weeks after we broke up. I miss him very much and very much want to be with him. But I not sure how as I said it isn’t me ignoring him it’s both of us it feels. Any help you give me I would appreciate it.
Thanks Chris
Dani
Astrid
April 20, 2015 at 1:23 pm
After a month of being together And a rather peculiar breakup. I have come to my senses and admit I do want my ex to yern for me and to desire me. Everything felt right and I had never felt this way before.. the first time i spent the night at his place was on our second date where he wanted me to be hus gf. In the beginning I told him that it was too soon and he had been out of a messed relationship and he needed more time. He said he was fine and he was ready. I should’ve stopped right there. Coulda shoulda woulda… so I start going to his place every weekend for three weeks. We talk about if this being to soon to be arouqnd his home like this I stopped him from taking me out on dates and he wanted to very badly take me out. I got too comfortable. He opened up to me rather quickly. His past with substance abuse and how he had an anxiety disorder. This is what brings me here. His anxiety is what triggered the overwhelming feeling ,he said he thought it would go away because in his heart he cared for me but his mind didn’t want to pursue any further. I had even met his mom and she approved of me. This was a week prior to him breaking up with me. He said he needed space at first and he didn’t want to talk. I called him and we cried over the phone he said he wanted to talk in person I said ok We will see eachother on Sunday. Everything was fine the next day, when Saturday came. He said he was moving on and he told me to let him go because he had already let go of me And that he will let me know when i can pick up my stuff sometime during the week. This is where I am starting the NC rule . Today is day two. I feel like crap , but going out does help š I hope to get him back. The only thing is that I hope he just doesn’t leave my stuff out because he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore… one question, I was hesitant on adding him on fb should I add him. I don’t go on there it is a family account. I want to add his mother, is that too much? Also, I do believe I got comfortable too quickly and didn’t give him his space. People with anxiety tend to like order and routine. I was not in his routine for that long. I never once judged him or belittled him.
-if you got this far thanks!!
Michelle
April 19, 2015 at 9:41 am
Hi,
So my boyfriend lied to me and disappeared for a weekend to go and get drunk with his friends! After 3 days of no news whilst we lived together I got worried and contacted his family to know if they’d seen him! He got caught up in his lies by me and his family so came home and broke up with me
Chris Seiter
April 20, 2015 at 9:23 pm
He sounds like a jerk to me…
That was a bad thing he did.
Michelle
April 19, 2015 at 9:45 am
I followed the no contact rule, then he came home yesterday and I did not speak to him and went out for a lunch with a friend. Came back home to a nasty note, he thinks I had someone when I did not, I am focusing on me! But he has convinced himself and think he’s got proof! Now I refuse to justify myself as in any case, he broke up with me, telling me he had no feelings for a couple of years.
I don’t understand his attitude! What is he playing? Does this mean He will now not realise what we had because he prefer to think I would be that easy? But I thought he would know be better. What to do next?
Chris Seiter
April 20, 2015 at 9:24 pm
He seems to be very unfair.
Is he young?
He is acting very immature.
amany
April 19, 2015 at 8:36 am
Hey
I start dating a younger guy of me 5 months ago, we start dating but after two weeks that I get busy he left and never answer, I used the 30 days not contact rules and succeed to get him back, we date for 3 months after, during this he cheated more than three times. every time I was forgetting him, but the last time I didn’t succeed and we kept fighting each other till I break up.
I still want him back and ready to accept him as he are, but he never answer me since the breaking.
What I should do ?
Taylor
April 17, 2015 at 12:33 am
My boyfriend and I dated a little over a year. I’m a stubborn and negative person and we always got into arguments before and he’d threaten to be done. 4 days ago, during an argument he actually left. We are officially done. I made the mistake by texting him long text messages, and only got back “you cant even leave me alone for a day, sorry but I’m done” from him. Yesterday he was my patient for school, he made the commitment a few months in advance and when we broke up he told me he’d still come since its for a grade. He came and we talked. He said I’m not going to change his mind and that he needed space. I of course was crushed. then he told me that he just doesn’t know if he wants a relationship…with anyone. I understood that, because it was at least 3 years since his last relationship before we started dating and he’s a busy guy who likes to go out with his friends. He told me once I change he will know and think about us getting back together. But he was talking more about him not wanting a relationship more than us getting back together. Also, he made it clear that if we were to get back together it’d be in 3 months or so. As of yesterday we still have not contacted each other and I’m hoping to stay strong and follow the no contact rule. I’m worried he will like me not bugging him and talking to him and decide he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I love this man more than words can explain. Any advice? Please?
Chris Seiter
April 20, 2015 at 8:22 pm
My advice is to stick to the basics.
Start with the no contact rule.
Angella
April 16, 2015 at 8:11 pm
Hi Chris
My boyfriend dumped me about 4 months ago.I have tried the NC rule but its not workin He does seem to notice me in college but he has blocked me and last night i literally begged him to come back but he dint reply
I seriously cant believe all this he was my befriend before we got into this relationship now i feel like he used me and then dumped me there isn’t a day I don’t miss him . I badly want him back anyhow
Chris Seiter
April 20, 2015 at 8:16 pm
How long have you tried the no contact rule for though?
autumn
April 15, 2015 at 9:50 pm
So my BF dumped me a couple days ago and I do want him back. I deleted my facebook page to stop myself from driving myself crazy by going to his profile. Do you think I should keep it active so he can check on me every now and then or just keep it deleted? I haven’t contacted him since we split, he text me today about switching cars so he can fix where he backed into me. I did respond to that with just a “when” because I want my car fixed. He text “I don’t know whenever, I kinda need it to get everything set up” I feel like he contacted me because he realized I quit facebook and I’m not texting/calling him. What do I do now? Keep my FB deleted? How do I go about switching cars, so he can fix mine? –
LW
April 13, 2015 at 4:40 pm
Hi, I really am stuck with what to do here. I feel like there’s unfinished business with my ex, he told me he doesn’t have feelings for me anymore but just wants to be friends? What does it mean or am I over analysing the situation? He said to me he didn’t feel 100% about his feelings when we got together but when we was together he looked like he could of been with me forever, and he won’t talk about why he has, I just don’t understand it and he’s really broke my heart. He broke up with me on valentines day and since then we have slept together and tried to resolve things. He says when he’s with me it feels right but other than that he’s indecisive and he’s done his because he doesn’t want to keep hurting me, is there any point in no contact? Would appreciate it if I got a reply cause I’m stuck and can’t think why he’d want to. He’s said so much to me so I’m confused to what he really means, please help.
Julia Hopps
April 13, 2015 at 12:09 pm
Hi. I was cheated on in all my relationships prior to this one so when I started dating my ex, I was filled with trust issues and insecurities. It took me a really long time to trust him. He courted me for 7 months and we dated for 8 months after he finally asked me out.
5 weeks ago he confronted me about having slept with a person we both know, way before we met and I panicked and denied it. The next morning I called him to further cement my lie but a week later, I felt really bad and I confessed that I had indeed slept with this person years earlier. He was so hurt by my lies and I apologized over and over again saying I will never withhold information or lie again. 2 weeks later he dumped me, saying he hates me for making him work so hard to gain my trust and then betraying him. He said he hates me and doesn’t want to risk his happiness. Of course I begged, pleaded and promised but nothing worked. I tried no contact but I couldn’t stay away from him long enough.
I convinced him to see me as everything before that had been via text and when we met it was amazing because there was no anger and we even discussed the possibility of one day getting back together. After that we started chatting regularly. It felt like old times.
Last night I ruined it by asking him if we can try again and he became angry all over again. saying I should let go. It all went south from there until this morning I said I accept the breakup.
Is there hope? I love him so much and I know we can be great together but he does not want me. He has said it in those exact words. I really want him back but I doubt no contact will work on him. for h it will probably be more like “good riddance”.
Please help me. Will he ever want to be with me again? Am I wasting my time?
Thank You.
Chris Seiter
April 16, 2015 at 4:24 pm
Hav eyou used the NC rule?
You really need to.
Charlotte
April 13, 2015 at 6:05 am
Hello,
So my ex broke up with me a little less then a month ago. He told me that he didn’t see a future with me anymore. We had a really messy break up and after he actually broke up with me, the same day he was kissing me and told me that he still loved me. We didn’t talk to each other for about two weeks and then he had a family emergency and he contacted me because he needed someone to talk to and he said I’m the only person who knows him and who he feels comfortable talking to me. This whole time he has been dating this other girl, they are not official yet but they spend a lot of time together and she sleeps over all the time. We talk like almost every night for hours and we have talked about the break up and he has admitted to sabotaging our relationship because he has commitment issues. He still lays next to me in bed and touches me in a comforting way, I try to not touch him but he still touches me. I asked him about it one time and he said that it is comfortable and that is what he is used to. He says I am his best friend and that he wants to be friends, but the way he treats me and talks to me is not what friends do in my opinion. I would very much like to have him back because I still love him and care for him a lot. So what do you think I should do?
Moon
April 11, 2015 at 6:01 pm
Hi Christ,
I and my ex had been together for 2 years. We broken this January. I had tried some ways to get him back but he just said that he was not ready and he needed more time. So I decided to do No contact for 30 days. And I have done it.
During 30 days, he didnāt contact to me.
After 30 days, I texted him first, short message and he replied me. I think it is a positive reply, I can see that he cared in the message. Or at least, it wasnāt a negative reply.
However, I am really nervous now. After breaking up with me, he move on really quickly to another girl. Although this girl didnāt accept his love but he seems to keep chasing her. After 4 months, I donāt see any signs show that he did give up this girl.
Today we have texted.
After few messages, suddenly, he asked me āIt has been a long timeā¦ you donāt miss me anymore, do you?ā
Then I asked him why he asked that question, he replied like āOk it seems that you did forget, I am afraid that you think too muchā.
I replied: āYou know I always think too muchā
He said: āThat means you still miss me?ā
And then I replied: āI know what should I doā, you know, I can’t say that I miss him so much, I have to be cool, so I just can say some neutral things.
WHAT DID HE MEAN BY ASKING THAT???????
He is finding the way to comeback or he just asks for fun?
J
April 10, 2015 at 7:23 pm
I dated my boyfriend 3 and a half years. I felt him getting distant for awhile but didn’t think it was because of me. He told me we were good. I thought maybe outside factors. We had a minor argument one night and trying to not argue he sends me he loves me and I told him he ignored everything I said. Then no response. I came home from college two days later and went to his house to see what the deal was. He had friends over and he said he didn’t love me anymore and didn’t think he ever did and knew we’d eventually break up anyways. Which I thought was crazy! After talking a couple hours we decided to keep trying. He was going to come over after work then never showed. I didn’t contact him for two weeks. we seen eachother in town. He assured me then it was nothing I did. We joked and flirted. Gave me his full attention/eye contact. A few days later I texted him telling him I was going to bring his stuff by to him. We met agreed to be friends and one thing led to another so we “hooked up” which hadn’t changed at all since the relationship. He held me while slept together after but still didn’t tell me he loved me. But I felt as though there was still love feelings there. After he texted a handful of times for a couple days. I haven’t heard from him now for three days. Suggestion?
Aishwarya
April 10, 2015 at 6:25 pm
Me n my boyfriend were in a serious relationship for about 1 and a half year…bt since he had his exams he told tat he could not handle me and he broke up with me saying tat “let me concentrate on my priority first and tat to think about me later through my friend… he blockd me on facebook and 1 month is over i badly miss him through every walks in my life sir š pls do sumthng na
Dawn
April 9, 2015 at 1:45 am
My boyfriend of almost 2 years has continuously said he was a commitment phobe. He talks constantly about other women, and this is why I left. I love him and want it to work, but don’t even know if waiting for 30 days will matter. Any advice?