7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Shay

June 7, 2015 at 8:07 pm

Hi Chris, I was in a relationship with my best friend for pretty much almost 6 months. We texted and skyped every night and would fall asleep that way. Always wanting to be around each other all the time. Missing each other like crazy if we get to busy with work or me just traveling to visit a family member… And at times we would get possessive and protective of each other.. Like insecurities thinking what if he’s cheating… Maybe ignoring me… We were both this way… But I used to be kind of sort of ignoring him when he was clingy to me in the beginning and he was the only one possessive and protective… Well when it came down to it, summer came which is now. we started fighting a lot… Now it’s my fault to not just his. But he started hanging out with his friends. They bad mouth me to him. But I assume it’s jealousy because he was always with me. Well we broke up a couple days ago from now. He left me… It was bad. But when we called break a week ago he begged me back. But this time he ended it. I’m so lost I thought we were fine. I was changing my ways and maybe he was too. So we could make it work. But one of his friends have a cousin. I feel as if he likes her because I notice they were talking. She says there only friends. But I don’t see it that way with him. But I have trust as well for him. My mother told me to not talk to him let him message me first like your NC rule. So I’m trying and it’s really hard. But I’m willing to accomplish it and maybe soon he will miss me. I just hope he doesn’t like the other girl. What do I do… I really want to win him over. But I don’t want to look like spycho. Please help me ASAP. My email is typed in the box. To reach me by there
Mary

June 7, 2015 at 7:46 pm

Hi Chris,
I’m currently in a terrible shape because I’m not a person who talks about her feelings a lot. But anyway, I’m going to give it a shot. I was never in a relationship with the person I love, I noticed he doesn’t know how to express his feelings but he has deep feelings for me, he would be extremely romantic with me and would calm me down. Now his at the height of his success on his final year at university and lots of people are recognising him and that’s why we were never together because he has to think of his future. I’m so stressed out because he wanted to be with me then his friend came in between our way and lied to him saying I was messing around with his friend but that wasn’t true! He confronted me and got mad and we didn’t speak for 7 months then he came back and we talked for a month and I told him I wasn’t ready because i DONT want to get hurt and loose him again. Now he removed me from snapchat. I can’t understand him and we didn’t speak for 2 months. I’m good at controlling myself and doing the NC rule. But what’s going on with him. I’m so confused, his curious of what I’m doing in my life but doesn’t speak to me? I don’t know who else to ask advice from than you..
Steph

June 7, 2015 at 1:11 am

So, my boyfriend of 3 years just broke up with me two weeks ago. It was a shock to everyone, family and friends, we had a very natural relationship from the beginning, communication was great, we never sweat the small stuff. He is also my business partner, we started a business 1 year into our relationship, and we’re such a great team, our business flourished. Sounds great, right? He planned on proposing this summer, but 4 months ago, he realized he wasn’t happy with himself. Although we were growing, he felt like he wasn’t. (There’s a 6 yr age difference. I am 24 he’s 30). I was starting on my real estate career, he had a couple other businesses that weren’t growing too much because he has ADD when it comes to his businesses.
Around the time he started feeling insecure, he started talking to his mom’s friend (she’s a “psychic”). I met her, but I didn’t like her, I think she was able to tell. I would ask him if he ever talked to her about us, he would say no, but the middle of March, I started feeling him distancing himself from me, he confided in me less, and he was always talking to her. After a couple of months of distancing himself and keeping me in the dark about how he was feeling, I gave him a week of space, and then he broke up with me. He said he realized he couldn’t love me the way I love him, and that I was no longer in his future. I asked him if it had anything to do with the psychic lady, he said no, that it was how he feels all on his own. I wasn’t satisfied with this answer. I know I was a great girlfriend, understanding, supportive, encouraging, trusting. We were Best Friends, which is why it was a surprise to everyone.
I called the lady, she said he had went to her, because he wanted guidance on what his purpose is. After she told him “his calling”, he asked if I was the woman who would be by his side. She told me,”I told him you’re a beautiful person with a warm heart, and that it’s his choice, BUT if he chooses you, you’ll lose yourself and resent him in the future.” She also said she told him, that I won’t succeed if I stay with him, and that there is someone else for me who could love me the same way I love, and who will “give me the family I want”. (This explains all the random times he told me not to lose myself, and how he was nervous I’d resent him in the future, an how there are certain qualities I possess that MIGHT not work in the future.)
Anyway, I’m not sure what to do, we have to remain in contact because we own a business. I seriously feel like I lost my best friend.
Jessica

June 6, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Hey guys, so my boyfriend just broke up with me a few days ago and it was on my part… I kept hurting him. some asshole actually called him spilling that I kissed another guy and omfg it was like all hell broke loose. it happened a few months ago but it happened the day before my birthday and I had the worst birthday ever. the thing is, that this happened when me and him were on a break that he wanted to do because I wasn’t feeling right but I’ve always loved him and he knew that. were in different points in our life. I’m gonna be a college freshman he’s gonna be just a junior. he’s very mature though.. I just can’t handle the fact that he just gave up so fast.. and that someone had to ruin it for us.. I just really hope I can get him back because he really really loves me and I want to make this work. he was my first time. but not my first everything. he was new to this and I was his first girlfriend. I made him who he is today and he told me that. I don’t know I’m just gonna miss us so much. will he miss me and want me back still in a situation like mine?
Lana

June 6, 2015 at 4:33 am

Hi! First time commenter…and here are the facts:
Dated a guy for a little over a month.
He broke up with me. His reason was that after playing this “question and answer” game, he realized we were not in the same place.
I admit, I was kind of a hot mess during the time we dated – lots of work stress + hormonal (I have about 2 extreme pms times per year! Of COURSE it happened when we’d just met!) + insecure did me in. I was always pushing for more. I’m over that…I look back and I’m appalled at my behavior! We did have a lot of fun together, though, in between my emotional outbursts…cringe.
We texted right after the breakup for a couple days, decided we cared about each other and wanted to stay friends. However, we haven’t texted for a few days now. YESTERDAY he tweeted basically that the single life agrees with him! (Yikes!) That stung. I ignored it, per your awesome advice!
Cliché: I want him back! I want to show him that our fun times were the real me! And that now that the stress is reduced at work and I’m past my hormonal month, that girl – the one he was interested in – is the one he’d be getting.
I’ve seen a lot of your posts and it all seems to be based on longer term relationships with stronger feelings. eg: I don’t have any 1st post-NC awesome, remember when text to send! We didn’t date for that long! Is there a strategy for shorter term relationship recovery?
Is there hope?
I would really appreciate any advice you gave to offer!
Thanks in advance!
kayla

June 5, 2015 at 11:48 am

Hi chris
I have a big problem my boyfriend is with her ex girlfriend now because her ex flirt him. but we didnt broke up yet. But we dont any communication for a month already. Do i still have the chance to win him back?
Amy

June 5, 2015 at 7:23 am

My bf broke up w me June 1 for a number of reasons, the biggest probably being that we fought quite a bit (i was the “high maintenance gf u mentioned in another article). I did not contact him in the days after the breakup but yesterday, (Jun 4) was my high school graduation which he already had a ticket for. He attended and yelled my name very loudly and gave me a present which I accepted casually. But then he started crying and saying he was going to miss me then gave me a box of all our mementos. What should I do now that he has admitted he is going to miss me? He texted me and told me he didnt have feelings for me anymore and I ended the conversation but then the last thing he texted was “I need time”. Im going to apply the no contact rule but where should i go from here? Thanks Chris!
Mai

June 3, 2015 at 11:34 pm

Hi Chris,
I am actually writing this for myself to correctly understand the current situation. My and my ‘boyfriend’ started dating last December when he visited my city. He had his family here but he was attending a college in different country, so it started as a long distance relationship. For the first few months, he texted me everyday and even asked me to send my photo and sometimes randomly called me in midnight saying he misses me. Although he did all of that, I can say he’s really bad at expressing his feelings and I was always surprise to receive a call and noticing that he actually misses me.
He told me to visit him so I did, but during the visit I felt a bit different about how he acted toward me. Can’t really explain, but I felt like he’s keeping a distance toward me. It seemed like he was struggling with something and everytime he looks at my eyes, I saw some kind of depression in him. I came back and few months later he told me he had to work outside the country from next year and so that he doesn’t want to commit into anything. I cried, he still texted me for some days but decided to send him a message saying thank you for the memory and stopped contacting him. Then last Friday (a week later), he sent me a text that I was the nicest girl he ever met and I deserve better than him. Also that he was dealing with his personal issue that he can’t commit into anything at the moment. He said he still wants to be friend with me and I said ofcourse. To be honest, I do want him back but I know this whole long distance stuff is killing both of us. But then, he’s coming to my city again in the end of this year and he said he wants to see me as a friend.
I don’t know what to do…should I text him? Should I keep silence and wait for him to contact me? I love him still that I’m blind enough to see this situation.
Chris, please help me solve this situation. If it’s clearly the end and if I need to move on, I’m ready to accept that as well…

Mai

joanne

June 17, 2015 at 10:13 pm

Hi chriz,

I am in 3rd day of NC .
And the 8th day of NC is actually our anniversary .
Should i contact him and ask him out? Or i should stay fixed at my NC ?
Chris Seiter

June 4, 2015 at 6:36 pm

Have you completed a full period of NC yet?

I would only text him after that.

Maria0417

June 3, 2015 at 10:24 pm

I had a boyfriend about a month ago. He broke up with me because he said that he didnt had time for a girl friend. About 9 days later after our brake up, he texted me saying that he did wanted to be in a relationship but with someone he had known for a while. I accepted. My best friend is like his sister and always talk. On lunch time i ait with my best triend and he turns around. Whenever i turn he looks at me and whenever my bestfriend looks at him and points at me, he shakes his head ans smiles. I just want him back but i dont know how. I just dont know if he really still likes me and hiw to tell him. HELP PLEASE!!
JC

June 3, 2015 at 5:16 pm

How do you get back together with someone whom at one point decided you’re not the person for him, and that he was willing to leave you?

JAD

June 11, 2015 at 7:52 am

Same scenario like JC but it my case he decided to leave.
Chris Seiter

June 4, 2015 at 6:31 pm

He decided it or you decided it?

confused

June 3, 2015 at 3:24 pm

Well this guy says to everyone (his friends and our mutual friends) that Im his girlfriend.
Unfortunately when I asked him about it, the guy tells me that he doesn’t like me cause he has a girlfriend and that he had nothing to do with the rumours.
The alleged girlfriend is actually dating another guy. So I gather she can’t be his girlfriend.
Right now Im afraid to date because Im afraid I’ll be labelled as the cheating GF when we are clearly not in a relationship. What should I do to clarify this situation?

kierah

June 3, 2015 at 9:24 pm

you should just get another guy and if people start talking tell them that you are not cheating whit the so called boy, and if they don’t listen spread gossip that you are not dating him. but in the mean time enjoy your life. XD

Aurora

May 31, 2015 at 4:50 pm

Hi Chris (and fellow posters), I’m sure you’ve heard this 100 times but “my story is a little different.” My ex and I are in our early twenties, but I was his first girlfriend. I have dated before. About a month ago he broke up with me after a year of dating because he felt the spark was missing and couldn’t see a future with me.

We have spoken some since the breakup over Facebook. For some reason he doesn’t want to text me – just Facebook message. Twice since the breakup I have had to establish that I am not ready to have a close friendship with him (he kept sending casual, friendly messages and I wanted no contact), which I know he wants. He doesn’t have many close friends and I was his best friend. He has even made comments how any future girl he dates has to be okay with us being friends (which, of course, I know she doesn’t.) He is so kind-hearted, but I do not think he knows how to handle a breakup.

He seems to be on a different wavelength and is sure he wants us to be just friends. Since I have feelings for him, I can’t do that yet. I’m at a cross-roads…while I love him and want to be with him, I do not want to be with someone who doesn’t want me, so I’m also wanting to move on. HOWEVER, while I do want him to be happy and appreciate him being candid with me about the breakup, I also kind of want him to realize he made a mistake. Even if it’s too late…any advice? I have been working on becoming the “Ungettable Girl,” not just for him, but also for me. Thank you!
Kei

May 29, 2015 at 9:23 am

Hi, its been 3 weeks since the breakup. He said he felt more friendship type caring feelings instead of romantic type relationship. Just hurt and I’m not sure if his friends are reflection of his feelings since whenever I post with a guy friend, one of them used to question me on facebook and the other would call. Another case we are in a gaming group and I asked question they all ignored me. So now I’m ignoring the group because I feel like they think I’m seeing a friend of mine since one of them added him just to be rude.

Today he shared a song which I looked it up and it meaning so its driving me crazy. Sounds like a moving on song and getting over a heart break…the name of the song Peter Bjorn and John Objects of my Affection. Ughh! Please help me! I’m 25 and he is 21…
May

May 28, 2015 at 9:03 pm

BF and I broke up recently after dating for 9 months. Everything was going well. We were both slow movers; me because I was hurt badly before and him because he isn’t great about expressing feelings. After some ‘feeling’ talks and a group trip together, he was unsure about our relationship and if “I was the one.” Breakup was very sincere. I mentioned that I don’t think we’ve had enough time – and maybe have spent too much time in group settings. We are both very social. He said he needed time. We went NC. I heard from him almost 2 weeks later on my birthday. Very nice message, but almost confirming breakup. Then he unfriended me on FB. I asked why – it’s not my style. He responded that seeing my photos is painful and that he isn’t sure he made the right decision. I told him I was ok with talking as some time has passed. Ready to move on if he is certain, but I don’t want to regret. He responded he is still thinking about things, needs a little more time. Today I saw him on a dating site… I need to focus on me, but i’m not ready to give up on a great relationship. Is he just scared? Does he think the grass could be greener somewhere else?

kierah

June 3, 2015 at 9:28 pm

you should wait until you are ready for a new relationship and ignore him it’s a little harsh but don’t be mean, just give him a taste.

Madeline

May 28, 2015 at 8:26 pm

Hi, I have been in a relationship with a married man for almost 5 years (i’m also married). We have a very strong friendship and it developed into a very intimate relationship. The more intimate we became, the more frequent the break-ups. Mostly, because we both are not prepared to leave our marriages (and we both have children). It has been 3 weeks since we have seen each other and 2 weeks since we exchanged texts. He ended the relationship with me in a very rude way via text (in a manner he has never done before). One week later, I text him with “I miss you”. He replied that he was doing ok, but that he has to keep on the right path. I do respect his decision, but it doesn’t stop the emotional mess I am feeling. I mostly miss the long talks and laughs. We live in the same city and have the same circle of friends. Is it possible for a man to be with a woman almost 5 years and not love her? Do you think the NC rule applies to this situation?
star

May 27, 2015 at 4:49 pm

I initiated a break up out of anger. I said I was done and after a few hours I told him I was sorry and I love him and he didnt respond. Then I became a texting and calling gnat for the next week until I got it that I was being ignored. I did the no contact for a few days but he ended up texting me on my birthday, I said thanks and then asked for closure and he still ignored me. I went back into no contact, I’m a week and a half strong (insert strong arm emoji haha) but I feel as if I already ruined the chances of him missing me because I went all text and call gnat on him. I even asked a mutual friend to see what my ex thought and he said he “stopped talking to me because she said it was done so I was like f** it lol be done*. That doesn’t sound like someone who missed their ex. Am I just one of those “too much damage done” cases?

kierah

June 3, 2015 at 9:33 pm

Just find a new guy that accepts you for you then he might get a jealous without telling you and if it dose’t work than oh well you have a new dude.

sarah

May 23, 2015 at 12:00 pm

Is there anyway to speak with you without posting my business on here?

kierah

June 3, 2015 at 9:33 pm

yes, not me but other people
Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 10:11 pm

Right now… no.

I will be offering paid coaching in the future though.

yaaj

May 23, 2015 at 11:13 am

Hi Chris, I’m in NC from 5 days. We were best friends for 6 months. And we were dating for 2 months. We kissed each other and he told me that he is in confusion. After some days he decided to stay like normal friends. But I want him. I forced him like anything and he got irritated because of my over possessiveness and care. We are just friends now. And i Started NC, but he is behaving like he doesn’t care and he wanted me stay like this only. Tell me I should continue NC and any hopes of coming back?? Suggest me Chris.
Gabby

May 23, 2015 at 12:53 am

The other guy besides my ex hes very nice he treats me like a queen but i dont lime gim like that. Hes to old and i think well b better as friends. He does any and everything for me and helps me vut my ex never did anything vut watch me struggle and suffer. But i let him control me to much to were he knows hes my weakness and ill do anything. Ill even leave a good man for him. I know crazy huh? Help please cause im going crazy and all my ex does is shut me out or push me away and threaten to beat my ass or have his hoes do it….and i apologized gor everything but he hurt me bad to and use to put his hands on me. But im willing to start over. Yiu want to but not with me anymore and we been friends for years……he was my first love…but i cant keep turning back and getting fucked over

kierah

June 3, 2015 at 9:37 pm

leave him alone your better than him. get a new dude.

Jaded

May 22, 2015 at 8:14 pm

Hi,

I dated a guy for a month, he then asked me to be in a relationship with him. 3 months in after he showed lots of interest and some care he says he thinks he rushed and wasn’t ready. He said he struggled with balancing his life. My dad died in the midst of all this, he wasn’t as comforting as I would have expected a boyfriend. He’d disapper for a day or two and say sorry I needed time alone. I told him I needed to know before he disappears that he need some time every now and then. Fast forward to now, I sent him a lovely card to encourage him with his work and then he disappered..month 4. I texted asking if he got the mail, no reply, asked him if he didn’t want me to be with me, no reply. Finally after two weeks of silence I texted him that I enjoyed our time, and wished him the best. Another week goes by and then I get a “Congrats you deserve it..” text on graduation at the height of my celebration (he saw my pics on social media). I waited 4 hours and replied with a dry “thank you” …here I am a week later back in the silence. What now Chris?

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 10:08 pm

Were you super needy or overbearing to him to where he wanted to have his alone time?

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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”