7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Muskan

August 9, 2015 at 7:46 pm

Hi I’m from India so the relationships are quite tough and different over here..I started this no contact rule with my ex on 17th July but I told him that we are not supposed to contact each other till a month so that we calm down :/.. so now on 17th August should I say hi to him and start a conversation or not? Should I wait for few more days after 17th August? He acts as if he hates me a lot and he played lots of mind games and he hangs out with the girls I hated the most and even posted pictures with them on insta and he has blocked me on every social networking site. But on the othet hand since we both go to the same tuitions but different batches he nearly comes everyday to I GUESS see me :/ do I have a chance? And should I contact him on 17th August cuz when I told him that we both won’t contact for a month he said that you’ll forget me and then I felt emotional so I promised him that I wont ever forget him, move on or let go…
lynnea Patterson

August 8, 2015 at 10:09 pm

I really need advance on getting boyfriend back from a fresh break up. We have 3 kids together and he and I just broke up but we live together ,ride and work together. He cheated on me but I really want him back and still till this day he is associating with the other female but he keeps telling me he cares and loves me and we want be on a break forever this is just to clear my mind. What do I do??

Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 6:14 pm

Easy, do no contact for 45 days. (Since you have kids together you may have to do limited contact) Use a little bit of jealously. The kind where he will question if you found someone else yet but isn’t sure. You want to become mysterious to him. Start some new hobbies, have fun with your kids and friends. You will do fine. 🙂

Kristen

August 8, 2015 at 4:40 pm

Ok question. Three weeks ago My boyfriend of year and a half said he needed space and time to figure things out and what he wanted to do. I left OUR apartment to stay with my parents. During this time I did all the things your not supposed to do I called, text, begged to see him so we could talk. Told him repeatedly I loved him and missed him. After two weeks he decided that he wanted to officially breakup. He told me he’d always love me, wants to friends, and wants to check up on me to see how I am doing. That lasted a day. He no longer messages me or anything. Did I screw it up by being so needy? Or can these methods still work for him?

Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 12:40 pm

These methods should def work for you. Try the 30 day no contact and lets see where we are at that point.

Janellia

August 7, 2015 at 9:13 pm

Thanks so much for this article is pulling me through this tough time. It is saving my dignity and time. THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH

Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 12:45 pm

Your very welcome!

Alice

August 7, 2015 at 11:18 am

Hi Chris, I really need ur help in my situation can u please email me so that I can tell h my situation.
Marie

August 7, 2015 at 12:53 am

Here is my situation. I am 24 and he is 26. We had been together for 5 years. We broke up once before 2 and a half years in. He said he wanted to date me and date other people at the same time. After 2 and a half years of monogamy, this was not okay with me. We tried like hell to stay together, but he could’t reconcile his feelings about wanting to “see what else was out there.” We broke up for 7 weeks. I emailed him first saying I missed him , and he emailed back saying he missed me and that his life didn’t feel complete without me in it. He asked to get back together, and I said yes. Now, here we are 2 and a half years after the first break up. This time its about him wanting time on his own. He says he has never just been single. He is trying to start a business, and also work an engineering job. There has been no time for me, and I have become resentful. The fact that he cannot put me first has caused a few disagreements.

My grandfather died two months ago, he was so young and it was entirely unexpected. It was an awful way to have to die. He was like my dad and meant the world to me. Since he died, I have struggled with my feelings. I have felt so depressed. In a time when I needed my boyfriend the most he said he didn’t know how to be there for me. He became angry when I would cry and had a very difficult time speaking about death with me. He put hanging out with his friends above being there for me. I am in full support of him hanging out with his friends, it gives me time to do my own things. But at this particular time I really just needed him to be there. After 5 years, it surprised me that he could not do that. So it all came to a head two weeks ago. He again chose his friends over me. For the three days prior, he had hung out with a different friend everyday and kept getting back too late to really hangout. I had to work early in the morning and couldn’t wait up till 1 or 2 am when he was finally done hanging out. So I accepted that he probably just needed some time with the guys, but then it was finally my day off and he chose to hangout with friends again. He invited me of course, but I really wanted some one on one time and he couldn’t do that. I got angry and he finally said, “I really feel like its not healthy for me to be in this relationship right now.”

He never explicitly said he wanted to break up, but I knew thats what those words meant. So I said okay. He said I love you so much and I do not want to do this, but I feel that I need to because I can tell that I am not being nice to you and I don’t want to do that to you. So we hugged and cried and I left. There has been no contact on either part for these past two weeks. Its killing me, he and I were together every night. We could talk about anything. Whenever he was sad or needed to talk about the business and his frustrations I was always there. If he was hungry and didn’t have time to get food, I would bring it to him. He has always been very honest with me, sometimes to a fault. I know he has been alone these past two weeks, he hasn’t hung out with friends but maybe twice in two weeks. I know he genuinely needs time on his own. We talked about breaking up once before because he said, “You’re the person I could see myself marrying, but I need some time to be on my own before I can do that.” We have agreed that we would break up at some point, but is this really necessary ? If you love someone, shouldn’t you fight to stay in it. And to be perfectly honest, we both have fought very hard to stay together. But these past two months, I have been the only one fighting. He is my best friend, and I really believe we will be together when this is all said and done.

So how do I move on or should I? How do I give him what he needs, and not think about getting back together? I want him back, but only if he comes back on his own. I know he loves me and I know he is sad. We were each other’s best friend. Right before my grandfather died, he was making plans for the summer wanting to take me here and there and really thinking far into the future. As soon as my grandfather died, that attitude totally changed. Is this just a phase for him? Should I try to reach out?
Nastaran

August 5, 2015 at 9:42 pm

Hi, I have no idea on which article I should post my comment but here is my situation! I started going out with this guy 6 months ago it was a very strong attraction we both felt which had never happened to me before n he used to say the same thing although I doubt it now!!! I’m gonna cut to the chase n not go through all his love confessions (with tears and all if u believe it once he cried when I was telling a joke because I was too cute!!!) anyway 4 months into the relationship I felt him slipping away n it annoyed me so I started to nag n he got more distant (naturally) but I was too hooked to think logical! He demanded space n I tried to give him but failed miserably n the nagging continued! Until he broke up with me 2 weeks ago! I asked him to stay the day he broke up and twice more on 3 of them he said he would stay (once even said he loved me) but tgen changed his mind! Anyway I was going through your website to see if it is possible to get him back but he doesn’t fit in any of your descriptions he is too indifferent as if we are strangers. N this is the first time I’ve heard about the no contact rule Btw! I was wondering if you think I still have a chance or not??

Anna

August 10, 2015 at 5:32 pm

My boyfriend left me yesterday . He still loves me and cares a lot about me but he can’t do a relationship but after we talked . I slept over and things were normal but yesterday he changed his Facebook pictures and relationship status . We have dated almost 8 months. I’m confused . We have been though a lot I go out of my way to do anything and everything . Just last week he surprised me with a CD I wanted . He told me he loved me Saturday and now Sunday he tells me he’s not happy with me and this relationship but he still loves me. I’m confused. I do think he might have depression he has a lot of bills and hates his job. But had me who was there for him. Is it me or how can I move forward ?
Chris Seiter

August 17, 2015 at 7:19 pm

It might have been a little early to sleep over. You should probably take things slower. Have you tried no contact?
Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 9:41 pm

I think your situation definitely has a chance.

It is definitely wroth a try.

Alice

August 4, 2015 at 7:28 am

This all seems very reliant on the NC period making him miss us, but what if he doesn’t, what if at the end of the NC period he still doesn’t miss us, he doesn’t resent us or feel bitter towards us, just has a sense of indifference towards us but not miss us? is it possible to get back with him then???

Chris Seiter

August 6, 2015 at 10:21 pm

NC and improvement during NC is only 50% of the puzzle.

The other 50% is making your ex miss you lol.

Alyson

August 3, 2015 at 2:44 am

How does this work if your ex boyfriend is having depression and alcoholism issues and has completely shut you out? Thats probably a stupid question, but I’m pretty devastated and not sure if the break up was because of that or normal relationship issues.
miserable

August 2, 2015 at 7:11 pm

me and my bf had been together for 1 and 1/2yrs. Our relationship was perfect at the beginning and then i began to feel that i needed space. I started to hide things from him (about the guys i talk to on the social media, meeting my guy friends over coffee). He knew everything but he never mentioned to me once because he loved me so much and just wanted me to come out with everything. Once he asked me if i have been hiding something n i sad no. We tried to talk but because of my ego i broke up. I didnt expect it to be real breakup but just so we could calm things down. Its been a month now and we were still talking normally. I realised that I loved him and we just needed some time to sort things out. Just last week i had a power-cutoff so i went to his place to charge my fone and i found a girl there. He said it was a friend but i got so furious that i got an anxiety attack. Since than i didnt eat anything to date. I have begged him to get back, apologized, cried so much but he said he cant have the same feeling for me anymore. He has started drinking alot but still talks to me.Please help me. I cant leave without him.
S,S

July 31, 2015 at 7:13 pm

Hi Chris

My boyfriend, well ex boyfriend, broke up two days ago so the hurt is pretty fresh. We dated for a year and 7/8 months and I really do want him back. We have broken up before, and everytime, I mean EVERYTIME we fight I have to iniate the apology. Or once before, we have broken up and on the same day I contacted him and begged him to take him back. This is the first time I havnt contacted him since fighting or arguing or whatever. I feel like his never going to contact me and I feel like he will never chaise me so I’m a bit scared. But I also feel like I really don’t care, because I do want to be chaised by the one I love and he has NEVER done that for me, and I mean NEVER!!!! He is 31 and I am 20, we’re 11years apart but I don’t feel the age difference though.

I feel like I really want to do the NC rule and focus on me again, but what if he doesn’t contact me at all :(? Do I never take him back and just move on cos its not worth it? We attend the same campus, he is a tutor, so do I stay as far away from him as possible? I need more advice, but I already know that the non-contact rule is essential.

How much would ur e-book cost.
Sorry I do not have a website.

Chris Seiter

August 12, 2015 at 8:50 pm

It sounds like he is a bit bull headed and since he is older he may have more self restraint as well. The best thing to do here is no contact for 30 days and create a little bit of competition for him. Read the post on the ungettable girl.

Victoria

July 30, 2015 at 7:56 pm

My ex and I lived together for 9 months. Everything was great, except I didn’t have a job and might have been a bit depressed and maybe he was worried I would ask him for money. (I didn’t)’
He said one morning “I need a break from this relationship” he asked me to get my things and go.
I was devastated. He said he needed time and space and I was getting too serious.
(We both went to high school together and met on fb)
It’s been 3 months since we have seen each other. I just got a job.
We text a little bit mostly about me asking his advise about job interviews etc.
When I got this job I said we should go and grab a bite to eat to celebrate me getting a job. He said we’ll see.
Now what?
Becky

July 30, 2015 at 12:45 am

My ex contacted me again after the no contact rule I actually initiated it bc he actually txted about my daughter, but instead of doing it subtly I screwed it up by telling him I wanted him back did I scare him away for good or will he try again if i do the no contact rule and only talk about my daughter from now on I’m trying to change how I was in the relationship but I’m scared he’ll view me in that light forever now that i scared him away again and I told him that i have someone else so that didn’t work in my favor either I’m pretty sure I screwed it up for good but can you analyze this and give me the truth?
Michelle

July 29, 2015 at 9:49 am

I would love to buy your book and put its theories into practise… But I am still living with my ex… How do I achieve the first step of the 30 day no contact rule ? thank you in advance for your time and attention to this.
Bunny

July 28, 2015 at 4:32 am

Hello Chris. It’s been 4 days since the break up, and he’s messaged me for three of those days. He asked if I want to meet up and “talk”. I know that during the NC period you aren’t suppose to reply to any emails or messages from him, but what if we both have things we want to discuss and clear out about on our relationship?
Veronica

July 28, 2015 at 2:58 am

Hi my name is Veronica and I am 22 years old and my boyfriend is almost 19…..he told me he wanted to separate for a few weeks to focus on himself and to figure things out…..he did not want to have contact with me he said that he would text periodically and he has but he say he misses me and he loves me in the texts but today he asked me to take him to meet a friend at Walmart and I was so upset it was a female, but I was more angry about the fact that he didn’t want to see me but he would take a ride from me…we ended up arguing about it and I needed up doing everything u recommended against in one conversation…he also likes to hang up on me
PLEASE HELP ME
Zoe

July 27, 2015 at 10:30 pm

Hi. Im 25years old and I was with my ex for 3years after a year of being together we moved in with eachother with my daughter who calls my ex daddy our relationship was great living apart but once we moved in with eachother the arguments started and my trust issues. I always use to get funny about him going down the pub with his mates while im at home and we then ended up falling out and he would be gone all night and come in at like 3-4am drunk. I also use to get funny about him going away on holiday with his mates every year. I know him breaking up with me was my fault but not sure why he broke up with me anyway money was getting tight living together so we decided to move out and he go back to his mums and I get a place for me and my daughter we argued alot at that point because of the stress trying to find somewhere to live he said he wanted to go on a months break after moving out so we can clear our heads 3weeks into our break me text me saying we’re over I was really upset because I love him so much I was always texting him and ringing him saying I love him give me another chance then he blocked my number so I couldn’t contact him do then I message him on fb asking about my daughter as she was going on about how she doesn’t understand why she’s nit seeing daddy anymore he replies with contact me once your over me and I will have contact with your daughter.so I left it a week and even though im not over him still till this day I messaged him saying I was over him so he replies with im glad to hear your over me we will arrange something for me to see your daughter. I still love him and I want him back but im not sure how or even if he wants me back I know deep down when I see him again I will break down in tears begging him. Please help me I really love him.
Tin

July 27, 2015 at 12:53 am

Hi! I am 27 years old and my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago. He broke up with me thru text message and he refused to talk and see me. One week after the break-up. He texted me again and he explained his reason of breaking up with me. I accepted it and we had casual conversations afterwards. We even met after that but as friends (as we all know not for me). It went on until the first month of break up. Then, this day came. We talked again about the break up and he admitted that he got bored of our relationship. I was not aware of that until recently. I could have done something if he told me how he feels. He is a depressed guy and he sought for an outlet. Someone who can make him feel good. Unfortunately, I failed to be that girl. I still love him and I still want him back. I think he just used his depression to break up with me because he’s just bored. Did I already screwed up my chance of getting him back?
Alice

July 26, 2015 at 8:16 pm

My Boyfriend and I broke up two weeks ago; he said at the time that he still loved me and even told my close friend he still feels that way, but just not enough to be in a relationship with me. He has said the reason he ended it was because I obviously wasn’t happy with many aspects, and thusly that made him angry and frustrated which only hurt us more. He did however say that he would be very keen on remaining friends, though I think he was worried that if we were to meet or hang out that I’d try hit on him or make a move; however we both went to a friend’s birthday party together and also we talked for about a week and he’s definitely certain that I just want to be friends with him. However a couple days after the party we had a slight argument over Facebook which actually ended in us both seeing our flaws and apologising to each other for things we had done and said both during and post relationship. He then told me he was afraid of hurting me and that I should probably avoid him, immediately I was compliant and said “If you think that’s best then I respect that, I wish you happiness” but then he insisted that it shouldn’t be his choice and that it should be my choice if I do stop being friends with him (Which really confused me because he literally said he thought me avoiding him was the right thing to do but then almost went back on what he said???) anyway because I didn’t want to seem desperate or give him the ultimate control of the situation I said that I think perhaps a short break between us may be good just so we can get used to not having each other in our lives, and that I’d message him again when I felt we had had enough space. I’m not entirely sure how long I’m meant to keep this up for, so far it’s been a week so far and I was thinking of leaving it for about 9-10 days so I could then ask him to get some papers for me while I’m holiday (which will be two weeks no contact) and then at the end of my holiday we’d meet up as friends and he could give me the papers at the same time. Then casually we would start building up the friendship and he would of already had time to miss me and he wouldn’t think I’m planning on getting him back, but as he does still have feelings for me I was thinking the more we socialised as friends together the stronger those existing feelings may grow. I don’t plan on hitting on him or making a move in the “just friends” period because I’m not a very subtle person and unless I think he thinks its his idea he will immediately corner off. So I was thinking the best possible thing would be to address the things that he found difficult about me during the relationship (my mental health, which since the break up is being treated professionally) and also doing more exercise and will be tanned after my holiday, also uploading to multiple social media how active my life is now, and then when we begin to socialise again he might be intrigued and revisit those feelings he had for me.
(the only issue is he is very set in his morals one being “if you break up, you shouldn’t get back together” and was like this before me, though strangely I was his first serious relationship so I’m wondering if his mind can be changed. But that is why I think if we start over it needs to be his idea instead of mine)

Do you think this idea works as a posed to your 30 day no contact????
lisA

July 25, 2015 at 6:57 pm

Day 20 n I want to call him this is hard on me I started crying so hard I don’t know if I can do this any longer he posted a picture with his ex 3 days ago I didn’t respond to it but I’m tired of the minds games

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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”