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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

  1. Meredith

    October 4, 2015 at 12:51 pm

    If it takes 66 days to break a habit, and 21 days to make a habit, and 30 days for NC,wouldn’t he have already made a new habit of not speaking to you, not kissing you etc? It’s been 2 weeks since my ex and I slept in the same bed and broke up, so logically speaking,in one more week, wouldn’t he have already made a new habit of sleeping alone?
    How can we make someone miss us if they have started a new habit before NC is up?
    It’s only taken me a week to form a habit of checking your site every few hours, reading and typing comments. Looking at other articles.
    Men are likely doing something similar – checking out a hot girls instagram every night, for example. If this becomes his new habit instead of watching Netflix with you, how can we make the whole “habits and missing you” in our favour??
    Sorry if this didn’t make much sense! Thanks again for all your time reading and replying and putting up with thousands of emotion women!

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 6, 2015 at 4:05 am

      The 21 days to make a habit is actually false.

      66 days to make or break a habit.

  2. Elaine

    October 3, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    My ex boyfriend and I was in a long distance relationship, we had been together for 4 months but he suddenly wanted to break up with me on 11 September. He had always been a really caring and sweet guy, but for the past month he has been ignoring and giving me cold replies, saying that he was no longer has feelings for me and that I could find someone better. He said the breakup was a problem with him and that I had done nothing wrong. I originally requested him to give me a year to try to spark his interest in me again, but he turned it down.

    Since then he has removed all photos of us on facebook and instagram. He has been busy with his school work attachment and has very little time for me. He felt alone despite me me flying over to find him every 3-4 months, I’ve started working so I told him I can visit him every month. We also frequently played online games together. We have always contacted each other daily through facebook and skype before the breakup, I’ve also made myself contactable via facebook, skype, twitter, and whatsapp. .

    During this period since he mentioned the breakup, I’ve been sharing love quotes with him, and trying to let him know that distance is just a small matter and that I’m always here if he needed me, and that I’ll fly over the moment he needs me by his side.

    On 20 September, being a man of his word, in order to stop me from trying to get him back, he said he has a new girlfriend ( which I know and thought was not possible because he mentioned before he despite those kind of people and will not be one of them). However on 22 September, he suddenly posted intimate photos of him and another girl, which apparently is his new gf (another intern who he met in the same hotel kitchen while during his attachment as a pastry chef). I really love him because he was the one who comforted me during my 1st breakup and helped me back on my feet, along the way he fell in love with me. That’s why I have fallen so deeply in love with him. I have recently sent him a photo puzzle of us, as well as a card for our 5th monthsary which had just received on 2 October, hoping that would help in jolting his memories of the happy times we had together.

    However after receiving it, apparently his new gf been replying on his behalf. She said “actually its me the girlfriend been replying your text just now. not trying to be rude but as an educated woman you should know that you had to respect other’s decision, dont you? if u really love him, you’ll be happy seeing him happy, wouldnt you? if he choose to stay and waste your time but he didnt happy with it, doesnt it sound like you’re so selfish? that you only think about your own feeling and didnt even think about the feeling of a person that u love”. After I replied that I was not going to give up, the very next day 2 October, either he or his new gf removed and block me from my ex facebook, instagram, and whatsapp.

    I really need some urgent advice on how I can get him back because I can’t imagine my life without him.

    1. Elaine

      October 18, 2015 at 8:54 am

      I want him back by my side, he means so much to me and was my only pillar of support. I definitely don’t want to give him up even if it means waiting for months. I’ve sent him the gift box containing the photo album and sweets which he had received on 13 October but he did not message me about it. Apart from that, we have not spoken since the 3 October and still on NC.

    2. Christina

      October 16, 2015 at 6:50 pm

      Hi there. I know this is probably not what you want to hear but I think its best you should just leave him and his new girlfriend alone. I went through a sort of similar thing last year where my ex of 5 years started dating a girl from work a month after we broke up. Obviously he had met her prior and probably set himself up because our relationship was spirling down hill. I begged, pleaded and cried for us to het back together and he was just not having it. Funny enough, a month or so of me leaving him alone, he kept messaging me, telling me he loved me and missed me – all while dating this new girl. I told him to buzz off because yes as much as I wanted to be with him, if he is unhappy with his new girlfriend thats just too bad for him. I have not spoken to him since and they are still together. His girl is a rebound and so is your ex’s. Just leave them alone. Focus on yourself or you will just go crazy. It took me a full year to get over him and believe me I was depressed for months and did not want to socialize or leave my bed. My only regret is the amount of time I spent upset and depressed over it. Please do not let that happen to you – don’t waste your time stressing, crying or being upset. Theres a qoute I love that says ‘my heart is at ease knowing what is meant for me will never miss me, and what has missed me is not meant for me’ and ‘if someone cannot appreciate your presence, let them enjoy your absence’ I hope all the best for you, everything that is meant for you will never miss you. I wish you all the best. Ps. I am currently trying to get over someone I was seeing for 3 months without a title and decided he was not ready for a relationship. Psh cowards! Next!!

    3. Elaine

      October 6, 2015 at 3:53 pm

      Chris please help, I would really appreciate the advice. What should I do?

      I was planning to send him a gift box I prepare for him containing a photo album with photos of us together, as well as some small sweets and snacks, and some handicrafts I made using chocolate wrappers from the chocolate he gave me when he visited last time. His new gf from what I know is heading back to her country for a period of time and won’t be around his side, was hoping to let the gift reach his place a few days after her departure when he might me feeling lonely and alone.

  3. lisa

    October 2, 2015 at 5:21 pm

    what do i do.. if he says “yeah” to missing me but then when i ask if he genuinely cares and misses me he says “i’d say i care about you yeah. which is why i’ll be honest and say i don’t think i miss the relationship. i liked you as a person, and miss in a way sure” considering my ex and i only went out for 6 months and 2 months before.. chasing my ass also the fact how he isn’t an emotional guy.. more logical and realist. HE ONCE SAID when i brought up his ex before me “i could get a gf the next week emotionally if i wanted too… it’s bad i know but that’s how i am but of course out of respect i won’t do that to her”. i know right cocky/narcissist he is.

    but he also said when we talked about “missing and relo” that “it’s just not me… relationships” i said why? he said “i just don’t feel like i did that well.. and yeah.. so agreed to fresh start and to be friends..

    but the thing i don’t get is.. we were talking then i sent a SNAP and i guess it was a flirty/sexy one and he replied with his face on his bed !! i haven’t gotten a snap of him in 2 months.. so he started flirting.. and i did.. he got keen.. and AS did i. I know bad idea.. but then we talked and he was very interested.. joking about my posing in the photo saying “ok my turn, let me try! damn.. i can’t do the hip thing you do!! but would bang” i laughed and said… yeah well keep trying to pose! so we send a lot of snaps.. and then he took his shirt off and i was thinking woah.. okay he obviously still likes me, thinks im attractive. so then 2 hours later .. we facetimed on our phone! we talked and then did stuff.. i laughed and said “you want to have sex with me don’t you!!?” he said… “won’t deny.. ” then i said ” but what about the whole ” i can’t do casual sex since it’s dirty..?” and he said “WELL yes, that’s not me, i don’t do that.. but not sure.. with you it would be different”

    so that confused me.. i even asked when? he said whenever as a joke ! ( i think haha) so if he wanted a “fresh new start as friends” why is he being flirty with me.. and being keen.. and making me keen. and hinting he still wants to see me and just take it slow.. ??

    he didn’t msg the next day I did, but his responses are happy, and engaging! but then after 8pm he didn’t reply so i didn’t msg today. and saw he didn’t snap me and was probably out with friends. and I know he isn’t the type to be with other girls sexually.. he doesn’t want a relo.. but FRIENDS DON’T DO WHAT WE DID 3 NIGHTS AGO…

    I’M CONFUSED. i know he is a man and has needs but it genuinely seemed like he wants me sexually but won’t deny he finds me attractive likes to flirt.. but doesn’t want other girls like that?

  4. Rebecca

    October 2, 2015 at 8:53 am

    Hi Chris I know this is long but could really use some advice here. I’m completely in love with my ex even after everything that’s happened. The first year and a bit of our relationship was amazing. Could not fault anything, we were perfect. He’s dad was really sick and died fron cancer last year. Since then our relationship got a bit rocky. We had our first break up about a few months after his death (told me he wasn’t happy anymore) 2 days later he followed me to a party and cried to me begging me to come back and that he didn’t know why he said that to me that his head was all over the place because of his dad and he didn’t know how to stop feeling like that. I recommended him getting some help and he (drunkenly) said he would. So we got back together. The next few months were amazing again but he started to spend more time out drinking with the guys so I would frequently start an argument about that (not intentional) anyway in May of this year. I completely freaked out at him because he was sick and wouldn’t see me but he allowed his friend to see him. He broke up with me then because he thought I was crazy and that he only didn’t see me for that week because he didn’t want to get me sick and that his friend (John) had the flu as well so he just called in. I apologised but he wouldn’t accept it and called me crazy ( which made me crazy) I went off on one and says horrible things which I regret. He told me to never speak to him again. For weeks I apologised and begged but nothing! About two weeks later he got in contact with me and we met up, and he asked could we try again but take things slow, I agreed. He told me he loves me and what I meant to him. Things were perfect again (for about 6 weeks) all of a sudden he stopped texting me everyday and only saw me once a week. I knew something was up when a whole weekend passed and I didn’t hear from him. I text him and asked if I had done something for him to ignore me. He replied and apologised loads and said he shouldn’t have left me hanging that he was out drinking and that weekend and felt weird texting me. He asked if we could meet up and talk so I did. I was so afraid that he was going to break up with me again. When we met up he said he didn’t know what was wrong with him that he just feels weird and thinks we’re going too fast but said then again were not going to fast so I don’t know what’s going on with me. I asked if he still wanted to stay with me and he said of course I want this to work I love you. So for a week things were normal I called into him on the Sunday and surprised him with a present because he graduated that weekend. He kissed me and talked for awhile then all of a sudden he got really quiet. I asked him was there something wrong and he said no, he kept being silent and I asked is there something wrong between me and you and he said no. He didn’t speak to me and I started to cry (I knew something was wrong) he asked me why I was crying and I told him I just feel upset lately and he didn’t respond so I asked if I should leave and he told me that it would be for the best. I started to leave and then asked him again why he was ignoring me and he said his head wasn’t in the relationship anymore that he thought he could get over the argument and start fresh but he just feels numb and doesn’t want to see me but wants to be friends. I told him I didn’t want to be friends that I wanted him. I stupidly said that he didn’t know how lucky he was to have me be so in love with him as that the time he broke up with me I was going to go on a date. (Only said it to make him jealous) then he absolutely snapped and told me to get out of his house and to go on the date and freaked out at me. I felt so bad because I never planned on goin on the date with this guy I just thought if I said he might realise that I could have some one else if I wanted but chose him. He told me he doesn’t want to be friends now and to go on my date. I told him to never text or call me again and he walked out. It’s been over 3 weeks and I haven’t heard a word from him. I want to text him but i feel like I’m going to get no where. I just wish we could be back to normal. The last few months have been so messed up u don’t know what has happened. Whether he’s acting like this because of his dad or maybe he really doesn’t want me. I just don’t understand how he can tell me he loves me and he wants it to work out, but then gives up again. It’s so confusing but I want him back ad stupid as it may sound. We were so good together. Help me get that back please πŸ™

    1. princess

      October 3, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      hi! i know you’re a rocky situation right now and i didnt know all the stories behind well obviously i only read your opinions and insights about your relationship but based upon your story you really did everything you could for your relationship girl! maybe he’s been so sad about his father but he should keep and show how important your presence is not just for comfort but if he really loves you he will not be drinking all night and always pushing away. dont you see? if he loves you , like wtf is your effort for? isnt it enough for him to heal from his lost and you can really fix him if his really really broke. for me, and i dont know if you will really do this, meet him up or send him a text. tell him that you did everything for him, to be his comfort or his crying shoulder. you had already been in his side this past few months but he didnt saw you. he considered you as his past time and it was wrong. know your worth girl. you did everything for him, gave him enough love and attention but his the one who is blinded by his attitude and situation. you understand him in many ways but he never understand the things you did for him. dont make him jealous. try to find yourself first. by spending him all the attention he wants you are the one whos crying right now. you love him but is he really that inlove with you? yeah he says it many times but hey action speaks louder than words. make it up by yourself, one day you’ll wake up with a big smile and no worries about your ex anymore, dont be martyr. youve done enough.maybe you should let him go now, Godbless. youre good and kind hearted. you deserve someone better trust me, you’ll find another, you will be happy someday i know.

  5. J

    September 30, 2015 at 2:33 pm

    Hi chris. I have a situation and I need some advice. My boyfriend and I broke up last month. We have been in a long distance relationship for 4months only but we’ve been together for 3years and I really love him. Before I have read your article Ive already begged him to stay for several times. He told me that I was so demanding and controlling, that for now he doesnt want to be in a relationship, that he doesnt love me anymore and I should move on, that Ive already lose him and I cant do anything to win him back. Right now I dont know what to do. I really love him and right now I know what I did was wrong and I’m willing to change for him and for myself. So what do you think I should do? And what if I do NC rule and then suddenly he contact me, should I do “seen zone” or just ignore his message. And how long should I ignore him? I’m willing to do anything just to win him back. Thanks for your time. God bless.

  6. MsLady

    September 28, 2015 at 4:25 pm

    So I’ve been going thru the NC Rule since the guy that I was dating for nothing but 30 days suddenly decided to give me the silent treatment. He was back and forth talking to me telling me Good Morning everyday then an incident happened after I took him dinner to his job one day and since then we really haven’t talked. He’s very stubborn and I mean very stubborn and it’s very hard to get thru to himand I don’t know if it has to do with him being younger than me and he’s intimidated by me or ge’s not use to a woman standing her ground with him. The way he started being towards me hurt me a little because he claimed he liked me alot and adored me so much and if he really did like me alot and did adore me why would he be acting that way. He’s younger than I am and I thought he would’ve been more mature about things. The way things ended between us was awkward for me because I’ve never dealt with anything like it. He ended things with me over a silly disagreement that honestly could’ve been worked out had he been mature enough to sit down face to face and talk about things like an adult instead of throwing a silly Man Tantrum like a 4 year old. On top of that on the last day we talked he told me I didn’t need to text him anymore……
    WOW….IS HE KIDDING ME WITH THAT????
    So since then I’ve been using the NC Rule but I’ve been wondering if I needed to start over. I’d like to work things out with him because we didn’t really get to know each other and now I think he hates me because of how things ended and I’m not sure what to do but I do know one thing if the NC Rule doesn’t help me or work for me I’ll really be moving on after this because I just don’t believe in making a fool out of myself for any guy, especially when I tried things my own way and it didn’t work but maybe getting advice from a male point of view will be better.

    On September 27th I went stopped by a store to pick up a few things. I went in and he was there. I acted as if I didn’t see him and I didn’t bother to speak either nor did he speak to me. I want to know since the NC Rule will end for me on October 19th, WOW, the day before my birthday at that LOL. With me ending up at the same store and I forgot to mention his family owns the darn store but I ONLY stopped by there because I had my grandkids with me and I knew it would be awhile before I got back to my house and I wanted to get them a few snacks abd there wasn’t another store on that way by where I was going. By me making no contact with him or speaking to him did I break the NC Rule? I didn’t acknowledge he was there at all. Does the NC Rule still apply or do I need to start over now that he has seen me?

  7. Jacqueline

    September 26, 2015 at 4:36 am

    Hello,
    Recently my ex boyfriend broke up with me because he saw his ex before me. So he couldn’t forget what he could’ve done with her or talked to her. He said that he couldn’t give me 100% of his full capacity in this relationship so he broke up with me. Then recently he said that he wasn’t ready for a relationship when we dated. My emotions are all over the place and I do not know what to do . Please help ?

  8. Mary Reyes

    September 25, 2015 at 9:13 pm

    Hi Chris,
    I have been reading your site and am hoping to buy your guides when payday comes around, I am desperate. I messed up big time. I was with my ex (let’s call him Bob) for 3 years when I met a new man. I had already started to lose feelings for Bob when this new guy came into my life and took over my heart. However I felt as though I shouldn’t just leave bob for a crush and kept the new guy waiting. I broke up with bob but still wouldn’t spend as much time with him as I should have.we dated for about 7 months when he got tired of waiting for me and out of the blue told me he got a new girlfriend. I realized I needed him and was in fact in love with him a little too late. I became a “text terrorist” when he stopped replying to my texts and that’s when I found you. He has had his new girl for about 3 weeks. I am completely broken and worried he thinks I am not worth a second chance. What should I do? (started the NC rule yesterday).

  9. Realistic

    September 24, 2015 at 5:45 pm

    These Tactics are really adolescent. They may work for Junior High School sweet hearts but not logically thinking adults. If there was a breakup on any situation, it always was necessary and works out for the best in the long run. Who wants to go back to the same old problems because that’s what you get in off and on again relationships. They always end up failing in the long run anyway. Best to go through the pain, (and yes I have been there) and know it gets better day by day and know this breakup provides an opportunity to meet someone else and take a chance on something that could bring real happiness. The two tactics that help: 1: No contact (but don’t wait for him/her to contact you, it may never happen they may really want it over and you don’t want to look needy and desperate and then feel foolish when you are rejected).
    2: Get yourself in shape or at least stay physically active ( this will help you feel better and boost your self esteem).

    Other than that let the rest go, these ‘tactics” only serve to create anticipation that may let you down harder in the long run.

    That’s my advice, if they come back they do, but don’t wait or anticipate these “tactics” will work. Be good to yourself.

    TMZ

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 1, 2015 at 6:26 pm

      Thanks for the comment!

      I love hearing from other people.

  10. leah

    September 23, 2015 at 6:57 pm

    Hi chris,
    I was with my boyfriend for almost 9 months and we got into a fight because his ex girlfriend facetimed him while we were together one night so i got angry but i didn’t yell, i just got quiet. Then he got mad because i looked mad (but i had a legit reason to be angry with him) and then 2 days later me broke up with me over text and never explained why he did it. We fought about this issue all the time because she was always contacting him and i didnt know if she was contacting back but i assume he was.. i think i may have over reacted a little but im not sure. He blamed it on my “immaturity.” I feel that because we fought about this issue constantly that he was just done with dealing with the fighting but I dont know for sure because i dont know why he actually broke up with me. Do you think there is any chance that he misses me??

    1. Liyana

      October 19, 2015 at 10:46 pm

      We’re in the same situation

  11. shahla

    September 23, 2015 at 9:48 am

    i have a relationship for 7 years he lives in saudia and i live in pakistan.he sometimes ignored my texts,so i let my self b busy in my job,after some days i saw some comments on his facebook he was flirting with a philpines girls i asked him but he refused and said she was only my friend but it was written that both of them love each other,so i called him when he came back to pakistan and contacted me.i said that if love loved her then why you contacted me i dont want to see you face again you are not even able to sit in my home who you are……he blocked my calls my whatapp and also unfriend me from skype i tried to contact him with new skype but after seeing this he blocks me,after breaking up he changed his skype profile picture to a sad picture.i cant contact him and want to get him back how can i????i want to marrie him plz help me

  12. Michelle

    September 22, 2015 at 5:47 am

    Not sure if this advice will work for me or not? I had the most amazing one nighter with a guy in NYC while on vacation. A year and a half ago. We kept in contact and I caught feelings. I knew that he had tried a long distant relationship in the past and it didn’t work so I never brought up feelings just tried to be friends. After about 10months I decided to stop trying so hard and move on. Our texting became few and far between. After about three months of that I receive texts of how happy he is to of met me and that the night we met was the best night of his life besides the sex. It made me want to try again and also open up about my feelings. We talked everyday for three months both admitting we fell in love with each other, then a week before I am to be in town he becomes distant and even though we spent time together, it was colder than I expected and it hurt my feelings. After I got home I texted him how I felt and asked him what he wanted. He apologized and told me that he had a lot going on and wouldn’t go into detail. We ended up not talking for 2 months at all, then when I knew I was to be in town I couldn’t resist texting him. We started talking and he would still avoid my questions and so I didn’t push. I saw him, had a great time and then after I left texted him and asked if I should still try and be closer to him. He said that “we are fine as we are.” I don’t feel he is going to explain any more to me than that and so I have not been texting him at all. Not sure exactly what to do other than NC at this point. After some time goes by what do I do?

  13. Shelly

    September 21, 2015 at 2:15 am

    Hi Chris ,
    I had a boyfriend for little over a year. He just became a veteran In March of this year. We planned our life together , shared each other secrets even planned our wedding for next year. However , he is very cold to me at times. He choices video games and the gym ahead of me. We argue a lot because he says he can’t give me the emotional aspect of a relationship. I am constantly so seeing if he is cheating or not because he doesn’t speak much to me and things are unclear. I hve talk to him abot how I feel but has always yelled and accuse me of being needy and always bitching. I broke up with him about 3 days ago but I miss him and live him dearly. I want him to realize his wrongs and realize what a great thing we have together. I want him to stop taking me for granted. Please help me. Thank you.

  14. Jane

    September 20, 2015 at 9:45 am

    Hi Chris,
    My boyfrined broke up with me 2 weeks ago on feeling he did not love me anymore. I’ve been doing NC since then but he messaged me a week later with “Heey, how are you?”. I ignored his message and he hasen’t messaged me since. Was it the right choice in ignoring him if I want him back? I’m very confused on handling the NC rule and the what if’s on my ex messaging me during the NC.
    Look forward to your reply!

  15. Adriana

    September 19, 2015 at 12:19 am

    Hello
    I just finished reading your book. I was very interested in the last chapter since I lost my boyfriend because I engaged in sex chat with other guy. On my ex boyfriend’s book, I cheated and betrayed his loyalty. We tried to work it out but didn’t work.
    After I read the last chapter I had the feeling it was not being conclusive. You pose a question as to how in the world do you gain someones trust back in this particular case? Then the book is over.
    Can you elaborate a bit further on that or is in your web page? I’ve been reading through the website but there is no post on this subject.

    Thank you!

    1. Chris Seiter

      October 2, 2015 at 4:37 pm

      To be honest it would depend on the substance of the chat.

      IF you were talking about sex in that you wanted to have sex with the other guy then I would consider that to be cheating too.

      I think I wrote an article on here about getting trust back from an ex.

  16. git

    September 18, 2015 at 5:22 am

    Okay so am git.. first all me&my boyfriend we were good friends… theb one day he proposed me & we started loving each other like anything.. he was one of those perfect guys.. after 3months he opened my Facebook account & saw I flirted with one guy when my boyfriend proposed me.. yes I have flirted with another guy but thats bcoz one out my friend told me that “git please me ” I said “about what” then my friend told that ” git you have your boyfriend’s swear you won’t say anyone about all this,you have to flirt with one guy nd suddenly ditch him” I said no am in a relationship with my boyfriend (xyz) .then my friends forced me & gave my boyfriend’s swear so I had to do it..but aftr some time I stopped ..then my boyfriend saw those chats on my Facebook account.. actually I didn’t have the guts to confess him.so I intentionally didn’t deleted those chats as I wanted him to know the truth.I didn’t liked lying to him.after that incident he was very angry we kept on quarreling for a long time.on the very next day we went to out computer tuition.we go to same tuitions till now also.anyways so on the next day out tuition teacher asked us everything & then eventually we started quarreling again he slapped me because I took sleeping pills.. as I knew I have done mistake I touched his feet &say sorry & begged him not to leave me… after that everything was going right he said he won’t leave me until I betray him again.. he said he loves me.then again after 3 months he broke up on 2nd August & 4th aug we were suppose to compete 7 months :(.. he said he broke up after 3 months because he was mentally preparing himself so that he can stay away from me… am waiting for him since 1& a half months ..he said don’t try to contact me. ..but I love him & its impossible for me to live without him…. after break up we use to talk but suddenly he stopped ..I don’t know what’s happening ..everything went wrong..every day am hurting myself… am begging him to come back am asking our mutual friends to make him understand that how much I love him….please chris please help me please πŸ™ I really can’t live without him please help..

  17. Melanie

    September 17, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Hello Chris, this article actually gave me a lot of insight, especially for me right now. My boyfriend of 2 years and I are on a break (which he initiated) The first year was perfect, after that, we went through a rough patch where I questioned my trust for him. After overcoming that, we remained together and everything was almost the same as it was except that we would argue at least once a month (and usually through text, which i would almost always start for no reason over trivial things) One year later, he couldn’t take it anymore and decided that we go on a break until he realizes what he wants. He’s confused about his feelings for me, yet still loves me very much, but all the nitpicking was just too much to handle ( which I realize and regret). We are currently doing a NC break and it’s been week 3 and last week he sent me a text saying that although he loves me and that I’m a great girl, he’s angry at the fact that I became this way, and that he’s still “messed up in his head” and needs time to think and be alone. I’m respecting his decision, as much as it pains me to do so.
    My question is, what are your thoughts on breaks? Do you think it more often leads to break-ups? Or can it possibly be beneficial in a relationship?

  18. Bec

    September 16, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Hey Chris,
    My ex broke up with me exactly a month ago today. i am still devastated as he broke up with me over Facebook and then blocked me so i could not reply. i have not been able to talk to him and haven’t seen him since.
    i’m becoming more and more worried since the 30 day NC period is over and i haven’t heard anything from him other than my coworkers telling me what hes been up to. i also don’t know how to contact him, as he has changed his number and blocked me from Facebook. he is making every effort to avoid me.
    I miss him, but i’m scared he doesn’t feel the same way about me anymore as he never gave a reason for the breakup. the relationship was going perfectly and i thought everything was well. I don’t know what i did wrong,
    i would really appreciate your advice, i have read all your articles but i am finding this situation difficult.
    Thank you in advance

  19. Liza

    September 15, 2015 at 10:47 am

    HI ,CHRIS MY BF AND I JUST BROKE UP AGAIN I HATE THAT HE ALWAYS PACKS UP AND GOES ITS BEEN 3 DAYS AGO I MISS HIM I WANT HIM BACK AND HE TOLD IT WAS OVER TO MOVE ON EVERYTIME I TEXT HIM TELLING HIM PLEASE STOP I LOVE YOU WE CAN MAKE IT WORK HE JUST SAYS TO MOVE ON TO FIND ANOTHER GUY BUT HE STILL REPLYS FOR EVERY LITTLE TEXT AND IF HE SAY SOMETHING LIKE I WENT BY YOUR PLACE AND YOU WERENT THERE I KNOW YOU HAVE ANOTHER MAN IM NOT STUPID ETC I TELL HIM NO I WAS AT A FRIENDS HOUSE I DIDNT WANT TO BE THERE HE WILL START SAYING THINGS LIKE SURE PAL ITS OVER ,LEAVE ME ALONE. FORGET ABOUT US ETC BLAMES MW FOR EVERYTHING EVEN MY FAMILY WHAT DO I DO I STARTED THE NC A DAY AGO AND ITS KILLING ME INSIDE I FEEL I AM GOING TO LOSE HIM PLEASE HELP!

  20. Kate

    September 13, 2015 at 9:02 pm

    My boyfriend and I dated for nearly a year. I was too needy and always too clingy, but at the times when I wasn’t he was too clingy to me. I’m still not sure what exactly caused the break-up but I think it was a combination of that and some other things. After we broke up I begged and cried and did all the wrong things. I was ignored and he kept telling me to leave him alone but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how to live without him. I wrote him a long and heartfelt apology letter and said I would make things better because I thought part of the problem was the way I said things came out really mean to him when I didn’t mean it that way. I tried to explain and apologize in the letter. I left it in his mailbox and still didn’t talk to him. We texted a little bit a few days later and I mentioned another guy that asked me out and he said to tell him that I was taken. He even made me show him the texts and promise that I wouldn’t flirt with the other guy. I did and the next day he came to my house for about 10 minutes just to give me a hug and we kissed and he left. He texted me again in the sweet and loving ways he had when we were dating even though a week before he said he thought he never actually loved me. I was so overjoyed I couldn’t wait to see him and we planned to go on a date soon. The next evening he said he was hanging out with a bunch of girls and asked if that was okay. I said it was making me sad, but that it was okay. He got furious again and said we couldn’t do this. I begged and tried to talk to him in person and he told me to leave him alone. I still tried to text him hoping it was just a random outburst but he blocked my number. Since then I’ve gotten really into running and have been hanging out with my friends every day. After winning a race and posting a picture from it on facebook, he called me to say congratulations. That was the first time he contacted me after him telling me angrily to leave him alone. He said I should come to the restaurant he was at so I agreed hoping we could talk. When I got there he acted like I wasn’t there. His family said hi and we made small talk but he ignored me so I got takeout and left. He later told a mutual friend that saw us there together that I just showed up and we didn’t plan it. Again we didn’t contact each other in any way for a week. Then on my birthday he called me again out of the blue and asked if he could come by my house to drop off a card. I was out so he left it there. He kept texting me asking if I’d opened it yet and he seemed so excited. When I didn’t reply he would double text asking if I had read it. When I finally did all it said was “happy birthday” and he forgot to sign his name. I was so disappointed. I’ve still been hanging out with my friends all the time but I blocked him on social media because seeing him with other girls was upsetting me too much. Today I finally texted him to ask if he wanted to come get something of his that he left at my house and said I could just leave it on the doorstep and he would come grab it. We texted a little bit and I told him I missed him (I know, I know, I messed up but after the way he acted on my birthday I was so confused) and he just said “I don’t know what to say”. I changed the subject and he continued replying but with very short meaningless things (he has always texted like that even when we were in the best part of our relationship). Finally I said he could come pick up his things and that I would be gone and he said “where are you going?” and I ignored it. He texted back a while later and said “?” and I still didn’t reply. He finally said to just leave his things on the doorstep and he would come and get them. He’s been trying to get with a lot of other girls and it’s not really working for him. He still doesn’t want me, but I don’t know what to do anymore. When I try the no contact rule it goes no where. I’m stuck.

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