7 Definitive Steps On How To Make Your Ex Boyfriend Miss You

5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”

Maura

October 27, 2015 at 2:19 am

Hello Chris, so I’m just updating my situation… It has been 2 weeks today since the breakup and I only quick messaged him once and kept it to the point, to my surprise he responded in under 2 minutes. I have been doing nc religiously since and its hard because we have several friends in common but even though I don’t say anything about him he has been asking about me and wants to know how I’m doing and hopes I feel better. Still he hasn’t directly reached out to me just asks about me. I’m so confused now what does it mean. He still has his new girl friend so why ask about me? Do I still have a chance with this no contact rule?
Macy Anne

October 26, 2015 at 10:00 pm

cris I love your website but I need some help! my boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. he said his “heart wasn’t in it” but he was crying when he did it and I know he still loves me but something felt off in our relationship and we both felt it. so when he broke up with me I was sad but not shocked. I have successfully gone over 30 days without contacting him, no likes on fb, no drunk texts, no nothing. he recently texted me but it wasn’t what I wanted.. he asked if we could meet up so he could “apologize for breaking up with me over the phone” and he added that it would “only take a sec” i declined because I don’t want to see him so he can essentially break up with me again except in person this time. I wasn’t rude about it but I stated that i wasn’t ready to see him. He said he understood and that was the end of our conversation. Then yesterday he liked my Instagram picture, first one he’s liked since we broke up. I wanna contact him and maybe get back together but I feel like since his text message stated he wants to apologize and not something about reconciling then maybe it really is over and I shouldn’t contact him. What do you think? I really miss him and want him back so your advice would be super appreciated
NNS

October 26, 2015 at 7:02 pm

Hi Chris- I’m new to your website and find it very insightful. I have recently reconnected with an exboyfriend, who is married. I’m confused about our new friendship. He confided in me that he is not happy in his marriage and that it in fact is a sexless marriage. He has never asked for or implied that we have sex. But we have been very flirty and even sexting. I do realize that I am an ego boost for him. Giving him attention when he needs it and I would be a fool if I didn’t like the attention too. What I’m confused about is why does he bother? He puts in all this effort to contact me. He visits (3x’s) me at work (non-stalker way)…who does that?! He brings me “gifts.” They aren’t earth shattering, love affirming gifts. But he thought enough of me that he wanted me to have those gifts. We’ve met for lunch and I visited him at work as well. Help…I just don’t know what he wants from me.

Chris Seiter

December 4, 2015 at 5:47 am

He’s trying to get you to have sex with him eventually. It’s unlikely he will leave his wife for you so he would be using you. Find a guy that isn’t married, you will be much happier.

Jay

October 25, 2015 at 3:00 am

Hello Chris,
My ex and I just broke up on Sunday. We separated on good terms. We had a discussion on Tuesday, and every time I would begin crying, he would hug me, kiss my forehead or cheek, or press our heads together and look into my eyes. He even kissed me once before we parted. I’ve deleted his contact information so I will not text him. But, a few nights ago, I got up with him and ended up slipping that I miss him and that I’ll be around whenever he’s ready into the conversation, which was very brief. We live on the same floor in a dorm and share mutual friends.
Have I already messed things up? Is it too late to try and implement your methods?
Emily

October 24, 2015 at 9:20 pm

I just found your website and I found it really helpful not only for getting your ex boyfriend back but also to help you better yourself. I was with my boyfriend for two years, we had our problems like any couple but about five days ago we got into this huge fight and he told he did not think we should be together anymore(over text) since it was late he said he was going to sleep and would text me the next day to talk about things but he never did I sent him two texts over the span of the next two days saying how sorry I was for the fight(it was both our faults) but he never replied and still hasn’t. What are my options at this point?
MC

October 24, 2015 at 4:36 pm

I liked all the things that you wrote and would definitely follow them to make sure we eventually get back together. I just have a problem though–i dont have any social media account; hence, there’s no way for me to make him “see” that im having a good time with my friends or for him to see that im happy having some “me-time.” We also dont live near each other’s place so we really dont get to cross each other’s paths… I also made the mistake of forwarding to him an email on some article about athletes (cause i thought he would find it interesting) and he just replied with a “:)”. By the way, i sent that email prior to reading your article… May i ask if the steps that you gave would still be as effective even if he doesnt get to see that im enjoying? Just to give a background, i was the one who broke up with him because we had been fighting a lot recently. And i mean, a lot. I eventually got tired of the arguments and i said i didnt want to be his gf anymore because i felt unappreciated. He kept on asking me if it was what i really wanted and even took a video of me while saying it cause he said that he will watch it over and over again to remind him that it was what i wanted. I felt even more insulted so i said, “ya this is what i wanted.” My problem with him is that i find him very egoistic that he’d say, “this isnt what i want but i wont beg you to stay. Il just do what you want. If you want me gone, then i wont be around.” And like most women, i just want to be wooed and sort of “baby-ed” and id be willing to fold and be nice to him. Unfortunately, he’s not that type. He’d rather fight with me head-to-head. I do love this guy, but the fights, even though shallow, get frustrating.
ashiaana

October 24, 2015 at 10:22 am

hello chirish , thx for your nice writing ….at frirst i am sorry for my poor english. there was a boy I loved him a lot..but i did not meet with him….we had a plane to meet with each other…he was my facebook friend….in the last day we just did a soft fight because I got jealous with his female friends of facebook..he deleted me from his facebook and blocked me..m feeling so bad in this time..what I will do ??
Leah

October 23, 2015 at 10:11 pm

Hi Chris!
I wish I didn’t have to contact you but under circumstances, I need your help! My boyfriend Just recently broke up with me. We have been dating exclusively for nearly 3 yrs. Up until about 3 months ago we got to see each other every single day all day. Well he just started fall semester of college and lives 2 hours away from me. Were both the type of people who need to physically be with the person were dating in order for it to stay strong. We don’t get to see each other very often so its been really rough on us. We planned on getting married, were high school sweethearts and I don’t see myself without him in my life so this break up has been soo hard on me. Our break up started as just a break and wasn’t going to last forever, but its starting to turn into something that looks like may never come together again. I feel like its been easier on him because he’s so far from me and doesn’t have to worry about seeing me around our town where I live. He claims that he doesn’t have those feelings for me as he used to and that if were meant to be it will come together again. He says it’s been easier in ways for him to focus on school since we broke up because he doesn’t have to worry about trying to find time to come see me or trying to keep a long distance relationship going. Its been a month since this happened and were just now starting to txt again. I want him back more then anything, and I’ve made the mistake of letting him know how hard its been on me and that I still love him. I want to make him remember why he fell in love with me so fast in the first place. Its really hard for me to not just break down and pretty much beg for him back so I could really use your help so I can get the love of my life back! Im scared to try anything because I fear ill mess up and it will just make any feelings he may still have for me disappear completely. Please help!!
Bec

October 23, 2015 at 8:46 pm

Dear Chris,

4 weeks ago the guy I was dating for a year broke up with me and said he never thought of commitment. which I told him this past April that that’s all I wanted and not just friendship.
5 days after we had our break up I had two deaths in my family and needed his comfort I reached out to him he came right away. I didn’t contact him after that day he said he needed time to think about things.. 4 days later he text me to stay strong and see how I was doing . I reply back a day later and said thanks … two days later he text to see how I was doing… I replied back a day later went off on him asking him why he was contacting me and thank him for texting me but I really need him hear and if he doesn’t want to be hear and just want to be friends then to stop texting me…
a week later I was having lunch with two male friends and on the way to the garage I bumped into him and his friend we walked up to each other hugged he kissed me on the cheek and right away asked me who the two guys were…. I introduced him and he introduced his friend and some where along those introductions we were holding hands interlaced holding… I hurried him along but before he left he said to me twice to give him time he will contact me….
it’s been a week since our encounter and I miss him but I have not contacted him…

what do you suggest??? does he miss me?? does he want to get back with me??
confused

October 23, 2015 at 6:08 pm

hi Chris!

I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for about a year and a half but we’ve been friends for 6 years prior. He knows I’m a good person but when we first started seeing eachother I forgot my phone at his house and he read it like a diary. me and my best friend would have girl talk and stuff and he took some comments the wrong way about other guys. I don’t want anyone else I would never ever cheat on him. period. end of story. so we’ve been on and off since then and when he loves me he’s all about it but then he’ll flip the switch and practically hate me. he thinks all women are capable of cheating. and now we’re in this weird state where we just got back together sometimes he’ll get into one of his moods and say I’m not his gf and that he wants to break up so then I say ok let’s break up and he says well no. he’s too into the future which would be a good thing except he’s told me he doesn’t see me in his future. but then he’ll go and make future plans with me for trips and kids – I just don’t know. I love him – I know his parents’ relationship is awful and his sisters relationship was just as bad if not worse. so I can see that he doesn’t have the best role models but I just feel like I’m always being pushed away. I want him to want me the way he sometimes does – but always, any suggestions?
akram

October 22, 2015 at 8:04 pm

Hi
i broke up with my b.f a week ago because of many reasons:

1.he told lie to me and said i am at home but when i went he wasnt
2.he said i want marry you but not now …i have problem with my family …but he didnt show me to any member of his family while i show him to my sister
3.he never buy for me even a flower or… but always calling me and texting me that love me and….dont let me go out with my friends
4. during last 2 month we had lots of arguments ….sometimes he called me after argument and sometimes me….we really like each other…BUT the last discussion after 5 days i text him and he replied me soon and came to see me …everyrhing was fine but the day after that we had a bad argue ……. he put his phone on flight mode when he was with me and didnt explain why…just said i made mistake i went out of home but he didnt try to bring me back ….i my self call him many hours later and wanted to explain for me if he has some one he came again and didnt show me his phone to make me certain that he has a girl or not then he said bad words to me and even pushed me away i cried and he didnt attention to me,,,,,the day after that fight he called me and i said you did bad things to me and just go….. now its a week that he didnt call and i am sure that he was during this 2 month in relation with a girl since he didnt prove me that there isnt any body
i want you help me and tell me what to do i think about him and like him but i want to be sure that he really likes me? and what should i do ?
thank you
Arrielle

October 22, 2015 at 5:00 am

Hello, Chris

Me and my boyfriend been together for about 6 months we broke up about 2 1/2 weeks ago
he’s basically mad at because I wasn’t up front with him about couple things. Which is understandable but he forgives me then guilt trips me all the time and makes me believe that everything is my fault but he’s no angel either! I’ve made mistakes but I do really care about him and love him but he thinks everything I do and say is a lie . We’re talking again and trying to make it work but he still doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me but he wants to hangout when it’s convenient for him , enjoy my time , have sex with me love me one day and give me the cold shoulder the next day and I can’t handle that I want all or nothing ! He says that’s how it has to be right now so we can build trust but i feel like half of it is bullshit ! and the other half I allowed. I want him but I don’t want to be the only one fighting for this relationship so what should I do ?
Katie

October 21, 2015 at 11:17 pm

Hi Chris, a month ago I made the mistake of breaking it off with my boyfriend of 3 years. I didn’t contact him for 3 weeks but I sent a picture message of my sister’s ultrasound because he wanted to be kept updated. After that we had a friendly conversation that lasted awhile. Afterwards I realized I wanted to get him back and we met and talked about our feelings for about an hour. The first thing he told me was that he doesn’t want to get back together. Then as we began to talk more he said he would get back together in a heartbeat but I hurt him too much and he is already seeing a girl. He tells me he still loves me and he always will. We left on a good note and then the next morning I get a text saying he thought about me all night. And he was at her house the whole night. Then he called me we talked he got angry and he said maybe we can be together but not anytime soon and said he doesn’t want to hurt this girl’s feelings. After that he sent me a text saying he calmed down, he misses my family, and wants to remain friends for now. I’m not sure where to start from here. It sounds like he really wants to get back and needs space, but I feel like if I do he will get too involved with this girl. What do I do?

~Katie
BB

October 21, 2015 at 12:54 pm

Hello,
I found your website while looking for tips on what to do on a dinner with an ex that’s not a date (weird right). Well it just so happens that my ex wasn’t just a boyfriend but my husband and father of my children. It’s been really hard. Both kids have special needs – but are the light of my life. So yes, I definitely want/need him to come home. But I redirect his decision even if it hurts and the situation is bad. I’m working overload of hours and not sleeping. But whatever, im not a victim, that’s life and if I were a widow I would still have the same responsibility. Anyway, my question is about no contact. You have great ideas and strategies which really called my attention. But they are very difficult in my situation (or maybe I’m just not getting it yet). For example, how do I stop contact for a month – there’s visitation time to consider plus expenses and the fact that we do some projects together. I would love to have no contact for like 3 months but it’s seems impossible. There’s always a family gathering, a holiday or a child is sick. What do you suggest? People have been telling me to just stay far from reach but those very people ask me if I have seen him or how involved is he and I am I making him responsible. I don’t know what to do 🙁 it’s hard to be the cool ungettable girl in my scenario…that’s another question I have. I’m not ungettable (well not entirely, I have principles) but I am always home, I’m with the kids and working or with family. I get less than 4 hours of sleep and have several jobs. I don’t have social media – it’s not my thing and for so long I have been against it that I could totally see my ex calling me a hypocrite. I am always being criticized and questioned if I even show signs of change. It’s either fake, won’t last or has a secret agenda. I don’t know why he criticizes me so much if he doesn’t care. So how would a single parent ex wife be ungettable? I have some struggle with that…the truth is that Im the type that still makes dinner for him and lovingly teach my children to say Daddy we love you. I also love to share super cool moments of the children with him.

J

November 10, 2015 at 3:12 am

Hi Chris, so in the section where you posted the signs that your ex is still interested does it definitely mean he’s not if he doesn’t do those things? My 30 days are almost done, but my ex hasn’t tried contacting me yet. Is he not interested in me anymore?
Chris Seiter

November 19, 2015 at 5:35 am

You’ll find out when you send him a really interesting text… It depends on his responses.
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:45 am

You can do limited contact. What happened? Did you actually get divorced or are you just not talking? I have a site for married couples, its called http://www.mymarriagehelper.com

Erica

October 21, 2015 at 12:30 pm

So I have known this guy for 3 years now and just this year we dated for 5 months and he broke up with me out of nowhere saying how he’s not my type but then saying that we possibly might get back together why would you get back together with someone thats not your type and he said that to make me feel better , he won’t let me go to his house to get my stuff, now he’s out with friends and so am I. I know he still cares but i don’t know what I can do to get him back.. I’m a junior and he graduated so he said he doesn’t see a future together.. I think something is missing .
Sara S.

October 20, 2015 at 2:20 pm

Hi Chris! First, you’re awesome, and your site is great! My ex and I are on and off and broke up over a dumb arguement and now we have not spoke in ten days. I know that does not seem like a lot, but he usually texts by now. What can I do? I can’t make him text me, but I’m so hurt and I just want him to reach out. I have not contacted him, but I am constantly looking at my phone. I want him to feel what I feel and miss me! 🙁

Sara S.

October 22, 2015 at 3:13 pm

Thanks for the tip. But he hasn’t even texted me… I’m staying strong, though.
Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 12:58 am

You have to be patient and stronger than him. Change his name in your phone to “Don’t Answer” It will help you through no contact.

Khanyisile

October 20, 2015 at 7:58 am

Hey Chris…me and my boyfriend broke up Sunday.I found out there is a gal he was dating behind my back and before me coz I have been with him for a year and 3 months.he has been with a gal for 5 years.so when I found out he snapped at me and told me to get out of his life and don’t contact him again.today he sent me messages on Whatapp insulting me and blaming me for destroying his 5 year relationship.he told me he hate me.the sad part is that he is neglecting my feelings in all of this and I’m very angry with him but I can’t move on.I love him.. He is my joy.what should I do?am I a fool or what?

Khanyisile

October 27, 2015 at 2:48 pm

Hey Chris I have waited for a long time for your response and I’m going crazy..I mic him so much.he is my bundle of joy

Maura

October 19, 2015 at 11:57 pm

So my boyfriend & I were together a few months and one of our main problems were his female friends. He had so many it was hard not to be jealous but I trusted him that they were only “friends” until the last one he hanged out with, we had issues & I was too busy with work to notice but long story short, he started a relationship with her the day he broke up with me. I’m devastated and have been relying on a close friend of ours someone he once felt competitive with. Its been 7 days and I only contacted him once because a close friend needed me to relay a message but I kept it to the point and didnt respond to his texting. Do you think he would even care that Im getting closer to a former competition of his? Is it possible to get him back if he is currently with a new girlfriend?

Chris Seiter

October 20, 2015 at 2:20 am

Yes, you can get him back even though he has a girlfriend but they would have to break up first. He could end up breaking up with her for you but that’s not really the kind of guy you’d want. It sounds like he was dating her while dating you… He sounds like the type of guy that needs constant attention. Guys like that usually end up being cheaters. Yes I do think he will care if you get close to someone he knows but it’s a fine line so be careful with that one.

Liyana

October 19, 2015 at 10:28 pm

Hi Chris. My boyfriend broke up with me 5days ago. And no text message from him, he didn’t even greet during my bday. Nothing at all. But i was expecting a text from him until today. He broke up with me because I always bringing up the issue about the him and his co-worker which I caught them (sexting, sweet text) he’s 10 years older than me. He’s 34 and I’m 24. I don’t know if I should do the NC rule or just let him go but I miss him a lot

Chris Seiter

October 22, 2015 at 1:19 am

Do you think he would cheat on you? It is up to you if you want to do the NC rule or not. It will help him miss you.

Chloe

October 19, 2015 at 7:28 pm

Hi Chris! Please would u have a look! Reach a point on my relationship where I don’t know what to do anymore.. Confused!! ?

Just a quick advice ..! He dumped on me like six week ago… We have been together for almost two years.. I was clingy and need a bit … After break up I rarely have contact with him.. In like three weeks just three txt messages. Have been reading and trying to follow a bit late obviously as I never completed with the not N/C rule.. He message me for two days continuously and calling me for my pets name always ..me silly replied him back… At one point. Sent a letter saying that I love him and miss him but that now it is time for let him go… He message me. Saying what a beautiful letter. ?Next day I told by the phoned with him and said and going out with his friend and my girlfriend (but nothing bad I never ever did with the intention of jealously at all he know ..) in the conversation at the end he told me hi have a new girlfriend so I tell him ok end of the conversation (I was a bit drunk not much just a bit!! Went hand off the phoned his friend txt me saying he couldn’t make it .. And once out my girlfriend called him his friend and he came along!! (Think he told to his friend to not to come with me) basically … Anyway very silly.
I got drunk and message him saying I have to call him that please call me and he did but missed the call… Next day talking on the phoned he said that it wasn’t true that he’s not with any new girlfriend .. Following week he texting me again he asked how r you and I said am good !! Miss you… And he didn’t replied to me .. I messaged again and told him “I hate you” . He told me I am sorry ..(pet name)… Its for best.. And replied to him… “For best of you?!
So I Asked him very nicely if he think we will come back together ever..? My first time after for weeks … he told me not at the moment … And me
very hungry said ok there’s its what I have told you know now”
(my pets name)… it’s dead for you and I wish not meet you ever… And won’t heard again from you ever again and this its
my last words to you.. Goodbye .(a
Big mistake again from me ) 🙁 well he message me next day and told me that that was a bit extreme and that he thought we can still be friends. Can I have my keys and cardigan if you will be like that? …(ignoring him after said am dead.. Didn’t answer for Two days .. He message me again after those two days and said “are you ignoring me”?
I did relied am said “am not”
After two days I did reply and said to him “yes I have I will bring all to you” he relied great ! When?
After another two days I replied and told “sorry forgot I do have very busy week but I let you know .
After this we arranged to meet and brought or his stuff … (It wasn’t any tension at all I was with my head well made up)! He cuddle me and smell me like he was missing something… Was my feeling !! He looked at me all reviewing me … Then I leaved with my smile and chin up..! After four days .. I messaged him asking for my shoes (that he didn’t have me back) and he txt me straight away and said yes I will look after and let you know.
Then this day later on After the shows message I saw him on pictures the party and so on..! I cried more than the day we break up and messages him saying I saw you in the pictures on fb… (pictures with a girl very close and more people ).. And said I just have seen your pictures on fB and u back to play music you look good .. And I said don’t think bad I did t spied on you just came to my feeds because one person that was in that pictures it’s my friend (name ).

Two days after he text me “hey (pets name ) who did you know in the party) )
ignored him and night time he txt again (calling for my name this time). And did ignored him again.. Next day send a text saying hey how r you) he ignored me … Next day sent again asking for a name of a restaurant that we went together what friends and he replied and asked where was it? Explains how was look like and stated something really sweet that happens and we laugh together at the time.. He replied to me quick and told me the name.. And a smile. I replied saying “amazing”
And that’s all the history not anymore messages. I started the N/C rule but I need to know from you if do you think that can be worth and will work.. What’s your perspective for what happening during the last six weeks.. It’s too late ? Although I think he is seeing someone else .. ?Please I do promisse if u tell me this will work for me I will buy the full programme.plus I will recommended “for sure” . I already started to look after myself with bad days and other goods you know ..! But trying hard. But please I do would like your feedback on this .. Your Wise advice will be very much appreciate Chris .. Please thanks in advances . I await your response thanks thanks thanks ?

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5,888 thoughts on “How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup”