Popular posts
The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back
How To Make Him Miss You After A Breakup
The Ungettable Girl
The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide)
The Male Mind During The No Contact Rule
The Male Mind AFTER The No Contact Rule
What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means
Here’s Exactly What He’s Thinking During The No Contact Rule
What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You
Signs My Ex Wants Me Back
Recent posts
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How Long Does Avoidant Deactivation Last?
How To Let Go Of An Avoidant Partner
How Do Avoidants Create Distance?
What Is An Avoidants Biggest Fear?
Post categories
Kelli
May 6, 2014 at 12:58 pm
Chris!!
Love your site, and this post! I’m currently day 3 of NC… lol. It’s so hard! My bf and I have been on and off for about 11 months. Just when things are better, he will cancel a date and go out with his friends. This really upset me and I said some horrible things and broke up with him. Should I just be patient and wait to see if he contacts me? What should I do when he comes back and promises me the world (he has in the past), but then things fall apart again. HELP! 🙂
admin
May 6, 2014 at 7:15 pm
Be patient at this point.
Calla
May 5, 2014 at 11:53 pm
Hey chris,
so I used reverse psychology on my ex to show him that i agreed with the break up. He took it well and responded to my text. I told him he still has some things of mine that id want back so I dont really know where to go from here? but also he said hed look for my stuff so i just dont know…
admin
May 6, 2014 at 7:04 pm
You can go get your things. You are entitled to them.
Calla
May 5, 2014 at 11:54 pm
it has also been about 42 days since the break up.
Tay
April 29, 2014 at 10:02 pm
So my ex boyfriends friend invited me to his party which my ex is definitely going to he’s even one of the hosts of the event too.. Anyways he has parties quite a bit and I think I’ll probably get invited to those too, so chances I’ll see my ex a lot this year… What are your words of advice when I go to this party please help haha I’m so nervous to go
Rox
April 28, 2014 at 2:57 pm
We broke up over 3 months ago. I contacted him only twice since then. Once, two weeks later, I thought that I saw him downtown. No response. Two months after that, a really funny and random thing happened that directly related to him, so I sent him a text about that. No response. Both of my attempts to contact him were friendly and harmless. I never blew up his phone, cried, begged or any of that. What am I, chopped liver? Do guys really get over and move on from girls this quickly and easily?
Stronger than EVER
April 28, 2014 at 11:32 pm
And yet they say men are simple creatures! Human being are by nature emotional being, that’s what separates us from the animals. we have emotional needs and principles. I don’t think it is ever OK to treat someone like that. Chris has done a very good job at helping us understand the make Psyche. But I’ll never be able to accept that someone who was so sweet and amazing could turn into a cold emotionless robot overnight and treat u like you are worth nothing. Just like it’s not OK for women to lash out on people just because they’re on their period, just to name an example, it is not OK for a man to mistreat another person by making them feel like they are worth nothing. It’s good to understand how to avoid this kind of behaviour in future relationships, and how to better oneself, but in my book it is still NOT OK. I’m worth way more than a man who stoops so low as to cower away, ignore you, and treat you coldly. RECOGNIZE YOUR VALUE LADIES! If you will change and work on yourself, do it for you not for a man who does not value you.
Su
April 28, 2014 at 2:16 pm
My ex and I recently started talking again after a second period of NC, but the thing is that the first time he did contact me and show interest,we met once but then he started again being relactant and saying we can’t be together..I tried for a second time to follow the plan,he didn’t contact me this time,he didn’t reply at my first text, he closed his fb profile.I tried again, he anwered once then stopped repling.I tried again,the same.The third time he asked me things by himself.Now he kind of talks to me again,he teases me but sometimes he just stops answering.It happened to see him on the road while I was with my cousin but he didn’t say anything,I texted him and he confirmed it was him and asked me if I was with a guy.I explained,we talked a bit,then he stopped and later I noticed he opened his fb again.The next day I tried to ask him if I could call him for his name day, he accepted(to my great surprise)and so we talked.He sounded happy,he thanked me,then something happened and he ended the call because he was at work.I texted him that I was happy I heard him and he apologised for closing the phone.I thought I’ve done great so far but then on Friday it was my birthday and he never wished me..I think he doesn’t use fb much and he enters through phone,But he posted sth on his wall so..I’m really starting to lose hope and tomorrow it’s his birthday.What should I do?Do you beleive there’s any way I can make him interested again?he has never send a text by himself so far.I really need an advise!please help..!
Su
April 28, 2014 at 6:20 pm
can you reply please??
admin
April 30, 2014 at 12:58 am
Sorry I have been extremely busy.
What specifically would you like my help on?
Su
April 30, 2014 at 12:27 pm
I think my ex’s not interested at all.yesterday it was his birthday and I decided to send him a text,he replied immediately,then I asked him if I coulld call him this time too to wish him happy bd and he never replied!So later at night I send him my wishes and said I’m sorry if I bother him.. I feel like I can’t do anything to change his mind so I really,really would appreciate some advise on what I could do!?
Su
May 1, 2014 at 3:45 pm
??
regular reader
April 27, 2014 at 9:03 am
Hi chris, i m in my 8th day of nc. As i hv already told u dat we hvnt officially broke up. I was feeling damn insulted as he kept cancelling all my plans. He did everything according to his mood as if i was nothing. Told u 3-4 days bck dat he invited me to his house and whn i reached, he refused to meet me and dat wasnt d first time he was cancelling.
I immediately implemented nc. It wasnt a brkup but i felt insulted by his constant rude behaviour dat i enetred into nc. But i hvnt heard anything frm him in past 8 days. He z doing everything like enjoying wid his frenz, partying etc.
Nc is definetly very difficult for me as he lives vry near to my house. i saw him coming frm somewhere by his car (he didnt saw me as i was in a parking). He doesnt seem to be effected by nc at all. He doesnt even care i think. am i too easy to b forgotten chris?
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:21 pm
Just be patient. Even if he doesn’t seem like he is affected but it, it could still be working amazingly.
Yu
April 27, 2014 at 2:40 am
I really think that you should write a guide about “how to get an ex bf back if you are seeing each other everyday” maybe in the same classes in school :))
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm
I might do just that.
honey
April 26, 2014 at 9:23 pm
What does it mean if my ex bf starts to playing video games intensively after 4 months of breakup? I mean he could just go out hanging up with other girls. (I feel he’s thinking more about it in the last time, I dint know if you believe in such things though lol)
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:17 pm
It means he is probably hurt after the breakup and scared to go out.
Kavya
April 26, 2014 at 3:54 pm
Hey Mr. You,
Hmmm…It’s quiet easier to write (Indeed you are amazing with words and logic…Marvelously Simple and Simply Marvelous!) but I wanna see if you can dare to implement what you wrote in one of your articles…
Remember your words: “I can turn even a nerd into the Ungettable.”
well…I, an Indian Asian girl wanna challenge you for making me the Ungettable!
Actions speak louder than words! (;
With Love yours,
Me!
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:16 pm
You didn’t say you were a nerd…
What makes you nerdy?
shay
April 25, 2014 at 6:14 pm
I’m in the middle of the NC rule and we have not spoken for 3 weeks and it seems as if he has forgotten about me or he doesn’t care but randomly yesterday his best friend texted me and was like “his phone is off lol” & I just put “???” Like was actually meaning (y r u telling me this.) & then he responded “his phone is off Idk how ur going to reach him” and I don’t know whether or not to respond and tell him “I haven’t been trying to contact him”, or just not to respond at all? I don’t know whether he’s playing a game and trying to communicate through his friend again or what, but does the NC rule go as far as not contacting anyone he knows either? Help please
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:07 pm
NO you can still contact ppl he knows.
Shay
April 27, 2014 at 2:57 am
do I contact the friend back or not??
miranda
April 25, 2014 at 2:29 pm
Hi Chris,
My boyfriend for one year and a half had just broken up with me last week. I guess I saw it coming but just never thought he’d end us. We have planned a future together. We have had many ups and downs together but he’s stuck through all of that no matter how unreasonable or how much i’ve hurted him. I have had many bad experiences in my life with men, this made me very protective of myself and in results to never ever trusting him, no matter how much he’s tried to show me. It took me a lot to such as losing him to finally realize how amazing he is as a partner. I have been trying to move on but struggling to do so every time. My family and friends have suggested for me to just let it go but I am not so sure. We had a ‘break’ before this break up for two weeks and we both wanted to get back together after the break. We both said we needed some changes but I also did realize that I needed some major changes (not for him but for my own sake). I realized that he was also struggling to let go of the past and my mistakes prior to our break up and when I asked him to give us another shot, he said he just simply couldn’t, he has been hurt too much and his burning desire to be with me had gone. He said he still loves me and that was why it was so hard. He also said that we don’t fit and we kept trying but we failed. I can see how this all sound quite unfavorable for me to even think I should want or try to get back together with him as it comes across desperate. I am just all over the place at the moment and you seem to know what you’re doing. I was his first ever girlfriend and a serious one. I can’t let it go and I keep thinking that we were simply perfect (everyone said so also). We got bored and as a result frustrated at each other. Our differences was the thing that made us special and work. His friends became against me at the end after only hearing one side of the story and I think a lot of this break up was influenced by them. Hope to hear from you soon
miranda
April 25, 2014 at 2:31 pm
Forgot to say is there such thing as a third chance??
admin
April 28, 2014 at 4:01 pm
Of course!
Zlata
April 24, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Hei Chris! I got this huge problem with my ex boyfriend. I will tell you the whole story so you can see how serious it really is. I found your website yesterday and im done reading all you articles today (pretty impressive, huh? haha)
So it all started in December… I had a boyfriend named Haakon. We has been together in like 1,4 year. Everything was great but then he started to annoy me, so I decided to be done with him. I didnt felt the same way I did before.. I tried, but every time I did this – he just started to cry.. So I just couldnt leave him….. Then I saw this guy – Sondre (pretty weird names, I am from Norway 🙂 ) . We are going to the same school AND the worst part – both of us are boarders. We live at school… I laid my eye on Sondre (i wasnt single), but he was so hot so I just added him on facebook and started to talk to him. We chatted all the time, and with “all the time” I seriously mean it – 24/7. It was too awkward to talk to him at school, so we just looked at each other and smiled. I am blond 17 years old model from Russia, so I guess he was pretty excited when I texted him first (as I found out later, he laid his eyes on me in the beginning of school year – august). He is 18 btw born in 1995. Here comes Christmas vacation, everyone are going home. He left to Thailand for 2 weeks. We was talking on facebook every day. Heck, I liked this guy! (but was still together with Haakon). Both me and Sondre were really excited to talk to each other! Like, what are people doing when they are on vacation in Thailand? They chillin on the beach, do not thinking about anything but relaxing. BUT, every morning Sondre chatted me, was running to the beach, chatted me while he was there, and running back home to chat with me again. We chatted and snapchated about any random c#&p.. This was really funny. Every morning when I woke up we began to chat, and chatted until one of us was going to bed again. Then we began to dirtysnap and dirtytext.. This is how it was whole Christmas vacation. Then Christmas vacation was over and we had to return to school. We were back. It was Sunday, he came to my room around 23 00.. I was so damn excited, but I was soooo shy, so I just sat there without saying anything, just staring on my macbook screen. He tried to talk to me, but I was too shy (even after all those dirty snaps and dirty texts). I couldnt believe that this hot guy is here beside me now. (well, I think he is hot. There is a few of my friends who thinks the same, but anyway..). He was sitting on a chair in front of me. I sat on my bed and clothes I had on me….. Just tshirt. Cause I reeeeaaally wanted to have sex with him. I am so weird. Awkward to tell you about it.. Haha And then…. Then he moved….. In 5 seconds he sat beside me.. We started awkwarly tickle each other, and then we kissed.. Oh my God.. I will remember that kiss forever…… His warm lips, his soft skin.. Jesus Christ.. And then we tickled each other again.. And then I could wait anymore.. (he was virgin btw.. Weird when he is 18. But he has told me that he is really shy person and almost never start talking to other girls), so I just shutted off light and wildly jumped on him, kissed him, and then IT happened.. (i still had a boyfriend, he knew it. But I said that me and Haakon have like.. Open relationship.. And its okay if something like THAT happens).. After we had sex he puts his clothes on. I was really sad about it.. And then I say: “you can stay if you want”, and he did. Here we are – laying in bed, cuddling and talking about everything possible in hours. We didnt cared that we have to get up early to go to school, both were just so glad to have each other..
Next day we still wasnt talking to each other at school.. But, we chatted and snapchatted. ALL THE TIME. After school he was coming to my room every day and we were having fun, talking about things, having sex, and everything was just perfect.We liked each other. Then my boyfriend Haakon found out about Sondre and broke up with me.. And here is the most f%#”!d up part…… After Haakon broke up I realized that I really miss him and have feelings for him.. I liked both of them…. When I was home I was crying about Haakon.. When I was at boarding school I was with Sondre 24/7. But then I began to forget Haakon. Me and Sondre began to hang out in public, talk more and blah blah blah. His friends told me: “thank you for that you did to Sondre! He is sooo happy all the time!”. I was really glad to hear it. ^_^ We were so happy! We went to movies, he was so desperate about me. Texted me all the time, asked to do things together.. I was sooo happy.
We wasnt together, but it was on the way. In Norway it calls “å drive på” , that means than you are really close to get together.
So we got together a couple of weeks later. Officially..
And then I felt I have him wrapped around my finger, I became a bit care.. Cause I knew, he is always here for me.. He picked me up from parties, driving me to McDonalds in the middle of night, surprising me.. I was really careface and a little bitch sometimes..
As I said earlier: we started to chat in December. Now it is April. Almost May. And now we are not together anymore. Thing that happened in the beginning of April destroyed me.. I felt so badly inlove with him. We were together EVERY day since December, literally.
So this one day in the beginning of April I felt that something is wrong. I couldnt see the same “light” in his eyes, if you get it.. He wasnt looking at me the same way as he did before.. And I ask: “what is going on?”, and then he said: “I dont feel the same way about you as I did before”…. And then I started to cry. Not like usual cry, I got hysteric…… My body was shaking, I was out of my mind.. I was begging him to go away, first- he didnt.. He sat there with me in couple of hours and then he went out of my room….. 11 April – My birthday.. he broke up with me 3 days before my birthday….. My birthday was last school day before Easter Vacation.. On my birthday I got a snap from him saying: “Happy Birthday, beauty! <3", and a bar of chocolate.. On easter vacation I were supposed to go to his house, meet his family and live there in 2 weeks.. In the beginning of Eater vacation I was destroyed.. I was laying in my bed for a 5 days and crying.. My mom is doctor, she tryed to cheer me up, and gave me some medecines so I could calm down ad sleep a little. I was laying in my bed searching for "how to get back ex boyfriend" on google.. I was texting him, saying that I love him.. He said he is not sure about his feelings.. I thougt I still had a chance to change everything. And this one night, when he was drunk on party, he texted me: "you are mine! Thats how it is, and thats how its going to be!", I freaked out! I was so glad! it was my first night in easter vecation when I could sleep tight without waking up and crying.. Next day I asked him to call me. So he did. He asked me about thing, how do I have it, what am i doing, and blahblahblah. And then I asked him if he really meant thing he wrote. And then I hear this: "i dont know. I dont know whats going on. I dont know why I did it." But, people say: drunk words – solver thoughts… So i was pretty confused too.. Then I started to go out with my friends, party a little, but still, I couldnt get him out of my mind. In Norway this is a tradition named "Russ", this is time when you are almost done with your last school year, Russ last from 11 april to 17 may. This is big party time, when everyone who is 18-19 drinking and partying every night and are just crazy. He is Russ now. This year.. This is really bothering me.. Today is Thursday.. First school day after Easter Vacation was – Monday. So on Monday after school he came to my room. Asked how is it going with me, etc. He aksed me watch movie, so I said yes. We was sitting in my bed, just like before, watching movie. He was sitting and chatting with another girl while watching movie with me, I was sitting and chatting with another guys.. Then he started to cuddle with my arm, and legs.. I wasnt paying attention to that.. When we were done with movie I said that he have to go, and he went to his room. The day after he asked me to watch movie again, and I said okay. And again, we sat there watching movie. He started to cuddle with my arm again. I was sitting chatting with one guy, and laughting about chat, and then Sondre said: "can i look?" and I was like"haha why should you care?" and he was like: "well, cause its funny! haha", I said: "no", he said "yes!" and kissed me! He kissed me ffs! I kissed him back! Then I stopped and asked: "why are yu doing this", and he said: "i dont know".. i was so happy so I just kissed him again.. I felt like things beginning to fix themselves.. but I was wrong.. Then we had sex……. Again………. After sex i took up my phone, to make him jealous.. I started to check my snaps and messages.. And yea, there are a lot of guys that are texting me.. A LOT.. Cute, hot guys.. And its so typical that Im in love with an a#&%#"e! After we had sex he took his clothes on. And checked his phone too.. Started to snap this girl again.. And said: "do you want me to leave or stay?". I really wanted him to stay.. Really! But I said: "your choice. If you want to stay: you are staying. If you want to leave: you are leaving.." . We used like 20 min asking each other about leaving or staying, and guess what? He left….. I was really sad.. Angry. I chatted him right after he left.. I asked about if he liked this girl, if he likes me, and if he had kissed someone else after break up.. He said that he dont like this another girl. he said that he likes me, but just as friend. He said that he REALLY likes spending his time with me, but just as friends.. And, no. He havent kissed anyone.. Yet.. Day after at school he was so cold, and so was I.. I cant show him how weak and hurt I am now.. Yesterday I found your website.. I spent hours to read everything, And I still need your help.. I really want him back. Today is my Day 1 of NC. Worst thing of all is that I am going to see him rest of the year.. Maybe I still have chance….? Answer me, please..
admin
April 26, 2014 at 1:32 am
He seems like he is using you to me…
Zlata
April 26, 2014 at 10:39 am
What should I do? I have no idea.. I want him back.. So badly…
Amy
April 24, 2014 at 7:22 pm
Chris, I have a question in terms of gauging interest, if a guy is sexually attracted to a girl will that attraction pretty much stay constant(assuming she looks the same)? I’m stressing out about how to talk and act and I understand this stuff is important, but can’t I assume he’ll still be sexually attracted to me if I look my best when I see him?
admin
April 25, 2014 at 11:17 pm
It can stay the same for a long time but eventually if they are together for something like 5-10 years you need to spice things up every once in a while.
Laura
April 23, 2014 at 11:33 pm
Hi Chris,
I was reading through a few posts, and I’m trying to stick with it. It’s been 8 weeks, 2 days since he broke up with me; 7 weeks and 2 days since last contact (I was weak and wished him “happy birthday”). Since then, nothing! I’ve been trying to go about my life and having a great time and posting pictures, and he hasn’t contacted me since the breakup. I’m trying to do the “he has to contact me FIRST”, and I’m not sure if there’s progress or if this reverse psychology stuff will work on him. I think he’s even trying to date another girl, messaging her from a city 3 hours away (but he’ll be in the city in 3 months’ time, for 2 months). Is hope lost? =[
admin
April 24, 2014 at 4:08 pm
Not yet… but only if you think it is.
Mistake
April 23, 2014 at 5:28 pm
I’ve made a mistake… I finished my NC for 32 days and sent him a message on Facebook. After a week he added me on FB again and immediately messaged me that he wants to call me. I declined, but after 30 minutes he convinced me to talk over the phone. He asked me if I met someone. I was silent for a few minutes and refused to tell him, but eventually told him that I am not serious with someone. He hung up and told me he is eating a sandwich and will call me immediately after he’s done. He called me 15 min later, he was a little bit flirty… he told me that there was no girl in his life during our breakup.
He.was.going.TOO.FAST.for.me! I told subtly him that I appreciated the moments we had together. It sounded very faint that he was crying. It got me thinking after 2 days, so I called him to see if he is available tonight to have a chat over the phone. He said yes and called me that night. He became too flirty, even begged me. I was in shock. I told him no. He was moving too fast for me and I was overwhelmed. He immediately used a lame excuse to end the call and told me he will call me. He didn’t contact me in 3 weeks before I called him and told him that I like no other guy than him. And he told me that I should end these discussions because it would hurt the both of us. In shock and heartbroken, I ended the call without replying. The next day I texted him by saying that he was right and that I should end these things and I will end it right now because I don’t want to hurt him and that I didn’t mean to hurt him 3 weeks ago, I just wasn’t ready. And I also included this that I want him to be happy because he is such a good guy. Goodbye… Yeah, Chris, I’ve been… a bad person 🙁 I think I’ve lost him; it has been 11 days since my last text of saying goodbye. He also used to heavily annoy me by not replying to my previous messages or replying reallyyyyyyy late. I think I’m going to use this tactic on him, because I know that the chance of me making the first move again and again and again will only lower my value.
Yes, I was an ungettable girl, but then I began to love him (my first love at 24)… You know the deal.
I have no idea what to do. I am THIS CLOSE to giving up, it has been almost 3 months since we actually broke up after being together since summer 2013! 🙁
admin
April 24, 2014 at 4:01 pm
Ok, take a deep breath.
I get that he was moving too fast for you but you seriously had him in your fingertips and you should have advanced things. YOu didn’t have to sleep with him or anything like that but you wante dhim back right?
Mistake
April 23, 2014 at 5:50 pm
I also forgot to add that he sent a message on Facebook to the girl he used to be into before he met me, but didn’t really got involved with her because she loved another guy. This message was a day before I called him when he blew me off. Is it possible that he moved on?
Daniella
April 23, 2014 at 4:28 pm
Hey Chris, so I f*cked up … again. A month ago, my ex called me after we hadn’t spoken in about a week or two. We’d been broken up since November and got into plenty of fights since then, he even said at one point he wanted nothing to do with me and never wanted to be with me again. I did NC with him twice, and was still doing it until he got into a terrible car crash. I broke NC to make sure he was alright, and after that was when we went back to not speaking for a little bit. When he called me though, he told me things like “I miss you, I still have feelings for you and I always have, I want us to be close again, I care about you etc etc.” I was so happy but I didn’t want to give in immediately so I acted as if I was open to us spending time together again but that I wasn’t incredibly into him, that I kinda just wanted to be friends.
We’ve gone to the movies twice since then, the 1st time we got a little touchy but no kissing or anything, and then the 2nd time he was on his phone a lot. I could see a girl on his texts who I had heard he was trying to date while we were broken up, and it made me feel insecure to know that he’s still talking to her. We didn’t really talk for 2 days after that, he was understanding and said that he knows I’m busy but when I brought up that he’s not putting actions to his words anymore, he said he doesn’t want to be all over me because “we’re not like that” and he wants to take things slow.
So, his bday is this Friday on the 25th. I asked him what he was doing and he said he didn’t know yet but he would probably go out drinking. I joked that he probably wouldn’t want me there and he didn’t really argue with it. At this point I’ve been feeling really nervous about us and doubting his feelings for me, he told me that same day that he still liked me and we even flirted a bit, but idk I just felt weird. I knew it was a terrible idea and would start a fight, but I made a smart ass comment about him inviting the girl on his phone ‘Jessica’ instead and this pissed him off. He said that I was contradicting myself by saying I wanted to be cool & talk to him but starting problems with him, and that he’s not talking to anyone right now or anytime soon, and then he said “and I mean ANYONE!” and then said he was done with the convo and he would talk to me later.
It was so so so dumb of me to say that, I know!! I sent him an apology text the next day, but he never responded. Then last night I sent him 2 more asking if he was really that mad and then said “We’ve argued over dumber and worse things and got over that, plus I thought we agreed nothing is worth us not talking anymore. And if what I said wasn’t even true, then this especially shouldn’t be a problem. But okay then, if this is what you want.” And he still hasn’t replied.
I know what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t be blowing up his phone, but now I’m just confused about his bday this Friday. It will have already been a week since we haven’t spoken, and I prob shouldn’t text him anymore but I feel like I should for his bday. We were doing NC on my bday last year, and he still messaged me. I love him and I am sorry for bringing up a girl he probably is just friends with, I guess I thought we’d be able to handle the argument bc we’ve had way worse fights and he told me he never wants to lose me again or go back to not talking to each other.
Can I text him on his bday? Is there some sort of guideline for what I should say? I’m confused and need some help :/
admin
April 24, 2014 at 3:57 pm
If you are in a strict NC then no… no you can’t
Daniella
April 26, 2014 at 10:44 am
I did read it, we weren’t friends on FB to begin with but the whole reason I joined was to ‘show off’ how great my life has been since the break up so now there’s no point lmao. Idk if he has me blocked from his phone, I’m not gonna take the risk and find out haha. Well his birthday was yesterday and I resisted from sending him a text, I hope he wasn’t mad over that but who knows. Tomorrow though I think he is going out for drinks with some mutual friends of ours, I reeeeallllyyy want one of them to talk about me to him but I haven’t spoken to her in a while so I’m worried it might be obvious if I just hit her up randomly lol. We weren’t in NC when all of this happened because we had been getting along and then that little fight happened, I don’t want to go into NC again because we’ve done it before and it’s exhausting haha. I feel like in his mind though I’m all about him and I’m just waiting around for him, so I will refuse to text him first, no matter how long it takes. I get the feeling it will be a while just from one of his last texts saying “I’ll text you if I feel like it, don’t worry haha” like he’s rubbing it in my face or w/e, so I’m going to delete his number to make sure I don’t crack 🙂 If he wants to talk then he’ll have to reach out. Although NC sucks but I should prob follow it, if he does text me in less than 30 days, I’m worried about what I should do. I had told him that this whole ignoring each other thing is dumb and childish b/c we’re past that but if he reaches out to me and then I ignore him, will that make me look like a hypocrite?
Daniella
April 23, 2014 at 10:08 pm
Well scratch that. Idk how I have such a talent for continually messing up in a short period of time, but I’m getting really good at it. So he messaged me back saying that he was working from 9 PM – 7 AM last night so he’s been working and sleeping and I should just chill. My dumbass pointed out tho that I could see him liking things on FB last night at the time that I messaged him. It wasn’t really my FB, it was on a friends’, but still. He flipped out and said that he just didn’t feel like texting me back and getting into it while he was at work, but that he doesn’t have the time or energy to argue with me so we’re cool and that’s that. I asked him what’s going on with us and if he still feels the same way, he said that he just wants to be friends for now, that he still cares about me and he likes me but he doesn’t want a relationship right now. Things seemed fine, but then I noticed he suddenly blocked me on FB. I shouldn’t have said anything, but once I pointed this out we got back into it again. It ended with him saying “If I feel like texting you I will, don’t be worrying ha” but I really don’t want us to go back to ignoring each other and being on bad terms like that, after his car crash it just feels like life is too short and I don’t want something to happen while we’re fighting. I told him this and he texted back “Okay then we’re cool like I have already said! Damn!”
UGHHHHH. Now I’m blocked from FB, and he’s so clearly annoyed with me. I’m not texting him after that, even I’m annoyed with me right now. I let my insecurities get the best of me, and it keeps messing everything up. What do I even do now, how do I make it back from this!?
admin
April 24, 2014 at 4:05 pm
Did you read my blocking page haha?
summer
April 22, 2014 at 11:09 pm
As usual, Chris, you are super timely. I was dating a guy and he broke up with me. I begged him back and did everything wrong according to your site. After a while I found your site, went into no contact, tried to contact him a few times according to your guides but he just wanted to have none of it. So I gave up and moved on with my life, even started dating someone else whom I like a lot. Now he just contacted me again saying “hey what’s up?” like nothing even happened. What does he want by contacting me?
admin
April 23, 2014 at 3:50 pm
Here is what I think.
I think that now that some time has passed he has come to the realization that you were actually a really great gf.
Sophie
April 22, 2014 at 10:40 pm
Chris, this is an AWESOME article!!!
Also, just purchased your e-book, so happy I did 🙂
But I’m just a wee bit confused from reading all of this.
From reflecting on my relationship and even our pre-relationship, its obvious that reverse psychology and being the ungettable girl definitely works on my ex…
Right now I’m implementing NC and it has been three weeks, but you’re saying in this article I should wait for him to come to me? Or do I do the texting method after NC?
He hasn’t tried to contact me at all in these three weeks (but it seems from how he’s acted on facebook he has tried to get my attention)
admin
April 23, 2014 at 3:49 pm
I would say do the texting method after NC. Remember, what is on this guide are simply guidelines and ideas that you can add in when you do attempt to get your ex back.
Sophie
April 24, 2014 at 1:59 pm
I know you touched upon this in some of your other articles…
But what exactly does it mean when a guy becomes a attention seeker (that’s putting it LIGHTLY) and becomes extremely vain after a breakup?
My ex has always been a gym guy, but after our relationship he blew it up and weightlighting became his life. Now he posts selfies and statuses a lot. It’s annoying to not just me but a LOT of people apparently.
What are your thoughts on this behavior?
Thank you Chris.
admin
April 24, 2014 at 4:13 pm
Maybe its an outlet or its a way to feel his ago and make himself feel wanted by other girls.
Sophie
April 25, 2014 at 10:43 pm
Alright I got a couple more questions,
Me and my ex go to college and we will be going home in a couple weeks. He still has some stuff left in my room so he will have to text me to get it. How should I handle this situation exactly?
Also, i know in your book you said you’re not a fan of letters… But i typed one up just to make myself feel better. I dont beg for him back, i just say things like hey i’ve accepted the break up, i have no anger, etc etc.
Should i give him the letter when he cones pick up his stuff? Or forget about it?
He knows that i’m the kind of girl to write letters and we are both poetic/sentimental like that… However i do want to maintain that ungettable girl status….
Taryn
April 22, 2014 at 9:57 pm
Hi Chris!
Nice article. I’m definitely sure that RP wouldn’t be necessary for me. Ryan is that rare type of man. Very much so. And I believe that for him, I will have to be straight forward (at some point) and subtle. Fine with me :] I will just follow your guidelines from what I’ve learned from your ebook and other articles 😀
Keep the articles coming!
admin
April 23, 2014 at 3:45 pm
This one was tricky to write.
Because there is some risk with it.