How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back If HE Broke Up With You

1,328 thoughts on “He Broke Up With You And Now You Want Him Back”

Leslie

June 8, 2014 at 10:43 pm

Hey Chris,
My boyfriend just broke up with me out of know where. I found out that his grandpa just passed away. So I texted him and told him I would be there for him if he needs a friend because I lost my great grandma and my cousin in February so it’s a lot and hard to deal with. I don’t know how I should be there for him but know he is pushing me away because of this. I know he did say he just needs time. The reason we broke up is different from what you have said above so what should I do and how should I go about this? I really like your website and because you are always helping people out I purchased your book.

Thanks so much 🙂

admin

June 9, 2014 at 3:10 pm

Thank you for the purchase!

I would say he is right.. he just needs time.
Leslie

June 9, 2014 at 7:23 pm

Ok perfect. I know that it’s best to not do the thirty day no contact. And because I am grieving over a great grandma and cousin that I recently lost I know how hard it is and I told him if he wants me to be there for him I will be. So if he contacts me should I ignore him. Or be there to support him. I just worry cause when he goes through stuff like this sometimes he gets depressed. Right now I just want to respect his space. But because this is circumstantial how should I go about this?
admin

June 10, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Oh man this is a tough one…

Maybe limited contact. Only respond if he contacts you.
Leslie

June 10, 2014 at 6:46 pm

Ok thanks. Should I just keep my contact short and friendly cause I know how hard it is when you are grieving? I did tell him I would be there for him if he wanted me to. That was how I left it and haven’t texted him since. I am doing good too cause its been three days since I’ve talked to him:).
Leslie

June 10, 2014 at 6:54 pm

Also I only keep on contact if he contacts me. I hope this ok but I did send a sympathy card and just left it that’ll I did not mention anything about he or I. I am still grieving and understand how hard it is. Thanks for the help Chris it’s hard cause I don’t know what to do. I know it’s best to give him space and time to heal.

Anne

June 8, 2014 at 1:29 pm

Hey I found out why my boyfriend and I broke up and it’s because he is moving. Yesterday my friend said he walked into work undressed (no uniform). She said he looked really sad and then said he was gunna get food and never came back. It seemed as though he went in to look to see if he forgot anything then walked out and left. He was gunna be manager and everything. I know he said he moves when his family does. At one point we talked about it and he asked if I would move with him. We have been together almost a year. The hard part was this last month we didnt get to see eachother but still talked quit a bit. Chris I need your help. I don’t know what to do or what to say to him. I would be willing to move but I haven’t heard from him. My friend and I think something is happening with his family (cause his step dad drinks and is abusive) cause something happened with his little brother. Please give me some advice. I bought your book and don’t know what I can do. I know he and I agreed to be friends which is good. I am really worried for him. Wish he would’ve mentioned that he is moving. My friend who works with him and set us up said that is probably why he broke up with me and was afraid I would say no. I bought your book and have read your website. But my situation is circumstantial so what should I do or say to him? Thanks for the help.

admin

June 8, 2014 at 8:28 pm

How far away is he moving?
Anne

June 8, 2014 at 10:04 pm

I honestly don’t know at the moment because he moved due to an emergency. I know right now things aren’t good especially with what happened to his little brother. The only reason I found out was from my friend. That job he just walked out on was a really good job and she said he wasn’t himself and looked really sad and tired. I know he needs time because we broke up once when his step dad walked out on his mom and little brothers. But how can I be there for him? I know when he is ok I will hear from him but his home environment isn’t the best if that makes sense (imagine the worst alcohol and abuse). I know just from my oast experiences withy dad. He nor I drink because of that. Right now he is helping his mom and taking care of his grandpa. We both really love eachother and I know that he found out he was moving this weekend which was why he broke up on wed. But how can I be there for him or let him know I would still be willing to move. I know logically I can’t and won’t tell him that right now I just simply offered to be there if he needs me. But how should I go about this because I love him and know what he is going through. My guess right kow could be Liousiana…. Thank you for writing back! I love your book but this situation is different as to why we broke up so that’s why I am asking:)
admin

June 9, 2014 at 3:06 pm

I think just giving him time for a little while. Wait until he is more stable emotionally before you try anything.

Jodi

June 6, 2014 at 4:47 am

My boyfriend up about 8 months just broke up with me. I read the “It was me not you” part of the text”. During this whole break up, we were both civil with each other (not yelling or crying), said he wanted “to be friends”. It is actually a long story… but about a month previously he asked for a break for SEVERAL WEEKS!!!…he then came back after 4 days (drunk of course) and pouring everything out. Then everything was fine, he went on vacation, came back and thought everything was fine. Then we had sex (real sex…almost like making love) and then dumped me 2 days later.
I dont know what happened and why he did this. He said that he wanted to be friends, he still cares, and he will be around for me. On a negative note (during the breaking up conversation), he said that he couldn’t picture me “as being his gf”, he didn’t like my personality (mind you his friends liked me a lot and I got along with them sooo well). So i have no idea what i did wrong and feel stupid for wanting him back. Also, I do have a little baggage, I have had a boyfriend pass away several years ago, but I do not think that had anything to do with my new relationship (obviously I waited long enough until my mind was clear)
I just really want him back but I feel sooo stupid. Help.
And as of now, obviously I was texting him a lot the day we broke up, but its been about 4 days and definitely trying out the No Contact Rule. Just need a little help. My main concern is, I don’t think I did anything wrong (and trust me since I am asking for your advice, I would admit if I did something wrong). This guy is about 27 im 24, he has his own career and he is set with everything. So, why is he unhappy? Why does he need time to think…mind you, we only see each other on the weekends due to our work schedule (I thought he liked the fact he got the whole week to himself) and just seeing me on the weekends. I really don’t know what is wrong and I always respect his space. Help?

admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:45 pm

What was his reasoning for the breakup? Did he say?
Jodi

June 6, 2014 at 5:08 am

Sorry, I didn’t mean to get too personal about the sex part. And I also wanted to add (to the part where I don’t think I did anything wrong), as I said earlier, I gave him my space and time before. I am also independent, work, and going back to school. During the whole relationship I liked to show him that I took care of my self and proud of what I earned. Why wouldn’t he like me after I gave him space and time and didn’t bother him at all? I am not clingy or naggy or anything. I am just really confused. And thanks again for this help and like I said, I am doing the NCR!

Anne

June 5, 2014 at 8:09 pm

My boyfriend and I just broke up last night do to circumstantial reasons. We really love eachother but know that with our schedules and circumstances it is working right now. It wasnt what we wanted but know that it’s for the best. He told me he loved me and wants to be with me but he is right it’s not working due to time and schedules. We decided to be friends and with everything going on we both know that breaking up is best for both of us because we are both dealing with a lot. I agreed and it ended on really good terms. I want him back I am going to do no contact but what else can I do and what should I do when he offered to give me my stuff back?
Thanks

admin

June 6, 2014 at 5:20 pm

Circumstantial resasons… do you think that was the real reason the breakup ocurred.
Anne

June 6, 2014 at 7:43 pm

Yes because it’s really hard for the two of us two find time. He is I between two jobs right now, the only one who has a car and when I asked my friend she said the last time he talked to her everything was fine between us. He does have a lot of family stress and also has to help take care of his grandpa.
Anne

June 6, 2014 at 7:45 pm

And I am working and also working on my masters. It’s been a month since we have been able to see eachother.
Anne

June 6, 2014 at 1:53 am

Also do you think we still have a chance? At one point when we wanted to talk and make things better and he did tell me he wanted to be with me but we don’t have the time and he has a lot going on at home right now

Meg

June 3, 2014 at 1:42 am

Hi, Me an my ex have been broken up for 1.5 years, we didn’t speak for the first 4 months after the break up but ever since then he will message for few days then nothing for a week then message again and that has been going on since the break up. He is obviously in control of this situation and I think he knows it. He recently moved to a different state for 6 months, and he asked me to go up for a holiday for a week (which I did and it all went well). When I got back I told him that I was sick of being confused and been up in the air, he told me that when he gets back in 4 months he would like to try and see if we can give things another go! Long story short, since then I have booked flights to go back up in 8 weeks from now! Just yesterday he said it feels like its all moving to fast and its getting to much for him atm as he wants the time away to himself! I basically just want to know how to win him over in this 8 weeks and make him want me back when I get up there! I want to control this situation. He is a stubborn man, he could go for days without messaging, please help!!! We genuinely do care for each other, I think he is just scared of the commitment and likes his freedom.

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:13 pm

Have you read the male mind articles yet? They talk about dealing with stubborn personalities.

Sara

June 3, 2014 at 1:01 am

My boyfriend just broke up with me. Ive known him since 2nd grade and he’s had a crush on me since 7th. He told me that he still really likes me and has for a really long time but he feels like he rush into it. I really like him. What can I do? Please help…

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:11 pm

7th grade?

Your in 7th grade?

I guess you can try some NC.

Samantha Torres

May 26, 2014 at 1:30 pm

My boyfriend broke up with me last May 14. We were fine texting during that day. But when I suddenly become mad because of a little thing. He also got mad and broke up with me. He told me that our relationship is not working anymore and that we are always fighting. I begged him and told him if we can still fix our relationship. He then told me that he doesn’t want to fix it anymore and doesn’t want to be in my life anymore. The next day, I once again asked him if we can fix this but he said he doesn’t want to. I told him that maybe we should talk about it in person. We met after four days, we talked about our relationship. I asked him again if he still doesn’t want to fix it and he said yes. He also told me that he doesn’t love me anymore, though I don’t believe what he told me maybe Because I still can’t accept it. I cried in front of him and told him that I love him so much and I dont want to lose him. And He told me that he will still be my friend and he will never leave me as a friend. On that day, he told me that I can do whatever I want to do with him. We went to the mall, watch movies and had fun together as if nothing happened. The next day, he didn’t contact me or text me at all. Four days had passed and he suddenly texted me, he invited me to watch a movie with him and so I went. After that, we went to our respective homes. He texted me, how I’m doing though we had just seen each other that day. Because I was very curious of what does meeting up with him means. I asked him if going out and seeing a movie with him means its a date because I was expecting anything from it.He told me just friends and just invited me because he doesn’t have anyone to go with him. We stayed up late all night texting and told me that he was just checking up on me if I had already moved on because if not, he will still not contact me. He also invited me to go out again with him next week and accepted it. The next day, the day after we stayed late texting each other, he didnt contact me again or didnt even texted me at all. Because of that, I decided to text him and said that next week will be our last meeting because its hard for me to move on if I keep seeing or communicating with him. I also texted him that I need space after we meet up next week, I will stop any means if our communication and if he really doesnt want me in his life anymore, then I dont want him either. But, if he still wants me, I told him to make an effort. Is my decision right? I wanted to stop all means of communication with him eventhough I really want to get him back.
Kateřina

May 26, 2014 at 11:51 am

So, I had a 9-month relationship with 32 years old man, I’m 19 years old. We met at work. He broke up with me 3 days ago at work. Our relationship was really nice, he often told me that after all his experiences I’m the love of his life and that he had never felt that good with anybody else. He really loved me, I’m pretty sure about that. It was my first relationship so after some time I started to feel a bit uncomfortable and did not know what to feel. I was really rude to him, always mad at him for nothing etc, he really tried to do anything to help me but it obviously did not work. At that time something broke inside of him and since then, he couldn’t love me the way he did. Plus a very good friend of his started to flirt with him etc and he slowly fell in love with her. Because he felt something for her 3 years ago already so it just came back. I realised I truly loved him and wanted him back. So we decided we will give ourselves some time. It took about month and a half and he broke up with me because he just didnt feel it anymore. He said he still has some feelings for me, but she’s the right girl for him, they have a lot in common and that he feels he can be happier with her than with anybody else. He still wants to be friends, to go cycling together or to have dinner together, he doesn’t want me to end up in work because my company is very lovely etc…what do you think? Will he realise after some time what he had lost and come back to me? Will he only have the rebound relationship with her?

Kateřina

May 27, 2014 at 7:20 pm

That’s actually not true. He’s not that type for settling down, he doesnt want to have kids or family, he’s that kind of a ‘free guy’ who wants to live his life full of adventure, travelling, friends etc. And that girl is only 2 years older than me.
admin

May 28, 2014 at 2:48 pm

Well, then you found an answer right there. He is just jumping from girl to girl…
admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:36 pm

It had to do with the age difference I think.

He is probably at a place where he wants to settle down and he maybe thinks you can’t do that for him.

Mari

May 26, 2014 at 7:10 am

Hi, so my boyfriend of 2 months and I broke up recently and we haven’t talked or contacted in any way for about a week now. I had a feeling we were going to break up because we didn’t communicate as much as we did in the beginning and he was always stressed about work. I understood he was stressed because I have my own problems too but he wasn’t putting as much effort as I was in the relationship. I would always initiate for us to go out on dates or out for dinner, and he’d never want to go because he’s “tired.” He brought up the point of us having to break up because he said I don’t think we’ll work out and you’re always nagging. I told him my honest feelings and that he hadn’t really shown he’d really care for me and other things. My point is, I really do miss him and as much as I want to know how he’s doing, I’ll stick to the NC rule. If he doesn’t contact me at all during NC, do you think it’s okay that I text him first ?

admin

May 27, 2014 at 2:31 pm

I wrote an article about what goes on in his mind if he doesn’t contact you during NC. You might want to check it out.

Chantelle

May 19, 2014 at 5:27 pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up last week after a really stupid fight that I caused. I have been going through some health issues and sometimes lash out for no reason as a result of this he left in a really bad temper and then text me to say he’s done with me and never contact him again. Apart from this things are generally great with us but now he won’t talk to me at all and I’m really scared that this is it. The house feels empty without him and although he is not the cause of my happiness he does have a positive effect on it and now it just feels like something’s missing. Do you think he’ll ever come around and give it another try or should I just let it lie?

admin

May 20, 2014 at 9:10 pm

Where the two of you living together?
Chantelle

May 21, 2014 at 8:38 am

No but he stayed over a few days a week, he has clothes and things at the house and he had a really good relationship with my daughter so this is all very hard to deal with 🙁

La Menefee

May 19, 2014 at 2:31 am

I met my HEART in Nov 2012, we messaged eachother, learned that we shared simple compatibalities and like the same things , the communication was great. He’s in the Military,at the time he was out to sea , He asked me “If I could handle it” and I answered “Yes” he would leave every month for training we emailed everyday …the training was for 1-2 weeks every month for 7-8 months… we became closer as time passed, feelings and emotions got involved I fell in love with him …. Deployment came he left for 9-10 months ..he expressed he loved me …it was hard I was emotionally and mentally stressed, by the distance, couldnt sleep but we made it to Homemcoming I was nervous… when I first saw him I was more sad than happy, I cried, I hated that he left me …. 9-10 months w/o your loved one gets to you I had a whole in my heart … He came home, I was in pieces, he seen it and didn’t like it …we spent the whole day shopping , that didnt make me feel better…later that nite we went to dinner …he proposed… I said “yes” I was shocked…. while he was gone we had a convo about getting matching piercings… I got mines a month before he came home and he knew, I sent him pics… body piercings are painful..I took them out after he came home. Over the days he was soo busy with his car, and one day he asked “Am I going to see those piercings?” ..I said “yes I have to put them back in” He got upset, came home I tried to show him and he wouldn’t talk, later that night we had a argument , said careless, hurtful words…no domestic voilence or infedility in our relationship then things ended he asked for the ring back, he was sooo mad at me, Idk what to do … I cried my heart out for days … One day i texted him and expressed how I felt he didnt reply right then but when he replied I learned he was very hurt, upset things happened like that . Days later for atleast two weeks we texted had good convos, he showed signs of wanting to change things but still expressed he was hurt …. then we became intimate one day, it was romantic … Now I’m trying to make things work.. but don’t know how. No I’m not afraid that we wont get back together ….. I don’t want him back bc I may lose him … we been together for almost two yrs … what we have is worth is … much more than ending when we can communicate and reconcile.

admin

May 20, 2014 at 9:06 pm

What was the reason behind the breakup?
La Menefee

June 13, 2014 at 1:46 am

We had ups and downs bc of me .. I never saw the big pictire of why things happened. Our relationship reminded him of his past relationships … stressful

UPDATE : after our intimate moment I become overwhelmed with my emotions started texting and calling ALL THE TIME … I kept tabs on him ..he never replied, then one day he texted me saying he regrets ever proposing to me , it was a mistake , he didnt want to be with me , he didnt want me in his life, we couldn’t fix our relationship ..he moved on, didnt look at me the same ..I cried my heart out for days and days …one day i was tired of the tears so i deleted his number, pics anything that reminded me of him .. and let go.

UPDATE : We had NO CONTACT for over a month and some days now … In this time I been working on myself mentally ,emotionally and physically to grow … I been doing great, focusing on me … A few days ago I left my phone in, went for a walk and as i was coming in, i walked passed my phone, it vibrated & a text had shown up from a unknown # I didnt recognize… I checked it after a few mins, it stated ” Hey I kno u prolly think I was harsh on u..but dats something I didn’t wanna do but u drove me there..do hope u ok and still tryna work on u..” I re read it a few times and realized it was him, I had no idea he still had my number, thought he would have erased it … and it is definitely shocking & unexpected to hear from him .

jess

May 6, 2014 at 1:08 pm

well me and my boyfriend was together for nearly 2 years we are both young but i know that doesnt matter he ment the world to me and i never thought i would like him in that way, we was with each other every day i thought id get bored but i never did he made me smile all the time i actually loved him but he was living with his aunty for a while as his mum didnt want anything to do with him but his aunty starting being very nasty with him so they told him he couldnt live there anymore which upset me because he cared about his aunty loads anyway so he stayed with me for a while but i live with my step mum so he couldnt stay for much long so he asked his mate if he could stay there i didnt mind because i new he would be alright there but the day after he didnt come round i new that something was wrong so i went round to his mate his house and he wouldnt come to the door so we broke up but then we got back together because i found out that i was pregant but i lost the baby then a few weeks later he broke up with me again so i have been trying to move on it has been 3 months now and i still miss him loads and i still want him back what should i do. sorry i no its long:)
vaani

April 28, 2014 at 9:21 am

20/F
we had a relationship for almost an year..we were serious.he loved me alot in the starting..he cared alot.we had alot between us.
but i was quite a possessive partner.i kept on asking who he was talking to…i used to get upset ..n wanted him to lessen his talks to his friends who are girls.not that he talked to them often..but like 15 20 minutes a day…he never gave me a chance to think that he was cheating on me.but for him i was the reason behind him losing some friends.he on the ither hand wasnt possessive at all.
in an year…it was like 6 months love..and the rest 6 months fights.
when he broke up,he said multiple things…that breaking up is better than fighting daily..over the same issue.that he doesn’t love me anymore.etc..
but for me..love never ended.i begged him to stay…he said its not gonna happen
he wanted to remain friends.but i refused thinking that he’d never get back into a relationship after becoming friends.because he is still friends with his ex’s so i thought it’d be futile.after two three times of approaching to me as friends only,and after i didn’t pay any attention to this,he stopped his efforts to be back as friends even.
he said he is at peace now.and there’s no way i can have him back.he doesn’t want any relations now.he wants to stay alone.
i want him back.because i love him.we fight.but i don’t wanna lose him.ever.
three months have passed but i still love him.alot.we’re in the same section.i come across him daily.i cry daily..even after three months.
i want him back.
he’s a practical person.people say he doesn’t care anymore.i will always care.
please help.i really do love him.even if i fight,even if his talking to girls doesnt appeal to me…yet…m ready to accept him the way he is.even if i fight,i still never would wanna end us.
but he won’t listen.
we are not talking since 3 months now. :'(
please help .m very very upset n broken.
and pls don’t ask me to forget him.i don’t want to.
i love him,if u understand :'(

jess

May 6, 2014 at 1:17 pm

hiya i now how you feel i havnt been with my boyfriend 3 months now and its killing me i cry all the time mostly everyday but he couldnt care less he really did love me but is weird people all the time tell me to forget him but how can you forget someone you love so really we are on the same page but listen, some lads are nice when there in a reltionship but when they are with there mates and have broken up with you they want to prove a point and it is going to be hard its hard for me but have to let it go trusted me if you really want him back then try to find someone else and go places you know he is going to be he will get jelous and then you have to see what happen. im sorry its not much help but just hold on it will get easier x

Sandy

April 23, 2014 at 4:42 pm

Hello! I have read a whole lot on your website but I am curious about something.

My boyfriend used the “It’s not you, it’s me” method after using another method and after I tried convincing him to stay.

He said it was too painful for him to be with me because he sees he keeps hurting me and he can’t stand hurting the one he loves.

Things I know:

– He loves me
– He doesn’t have a second girl
– He is as miserable as me
– He isn’t trying to contact me
– He is crying a lot

He’s the one that broke up and, with reflection and help from your website among others, I figured what went wrong and I think that, with the tension, it gave, as a result, a break up. But, I don’t think it was to the point of a break up.

I’m a bit confused about what he is thinking.

Two weeks before, he asked for a break but two days later, we were back together.

I admit I made mistakes but I also admit that I think we are meant to be because of how happy we are together and our life goals.

His birthday is soon so I was thinking sending him a heartfelt birthday card by mail (not in person since he probably needs space) asking him to be friends (because that is what he asked for after he left me) and then wait a month before contacting him.

I figured plenty since the break up. It hasn’t been a while he broke it off. Not even a week. But without him, I distracted myself by looking for advice, getting myself in better shape, and do things I didn’t get the chance to do before. I realized I didn’t need him, but wanted him in my life. I realized why too. I just want to make sure that, with all my positive thinking and feelings if it will ever reach him considering our situation.

We are high school sweethearts. He’s two years younger than me and we’ve been together a year and almost two months, but we were already thinking about getting married because we were just so much into each other.

Before he broke up, I told him that no matter what he says next, I won’t give up on us because he is just that important to me.

What else is there to do? Is there a possibility of a make up? What would you suggest?

admin

April 24, 2014 at 3:58 pm

Are you sure you buy the it’s not you its me excuse. Can you think of any other reason for the breakup?

Anna

April 23, 2014 at 2:42 am

We dated for 3 years. We broke up 3 weeks ago. We lived together for 2 years with his dad and brother. We had two cats. He’s leaving for boot camp next month. We didn’t stop contact until today. I stopped it. He always texted me back. A lot of people say we will get back together eventually but he has to do the Marines on his own. Others say they have a gut feeling we work out.

admin

April 23, 2014 at 4:03 pm

How long will he be away at bootcamp.

Addie Tint

April 22, 2014 at 4:22 am

I don’t even know how to start. I guess I want to first say thanks for putting up free info, and how much I am looking forward to buying your ebooks (although it may not be the smartest thing to spend my first paycheck on, living in a shelter) Everyone I know says I should get over him and find someone who will really appreciate me. Easier said than done. Same friends that don’t believe that he was only my 3rd boyfriend in my whole life( I’m 30) and the only guy to EVER ask me out, or tell me I was beautiful. He doesn’t fit any of the male profiles, he isn’t like anyone I ve ever met before. I am positive I have lost my soul mate. Will I die without him? No, but it would like having my leg amputated. I know we had an amazing year, and I only started noticing issues after that. Four days short of 16 months he sent me a 21 page text saying that we have too many differences. And that he had met someone else. Maybe she’s a great girl. Maybe it’s a rebound. But he spent all of the money we had been saving together for an apartment. And she’s unemployed. Lives with her parents. Now he does too, because he had been driving truck and sleeping in the rig, even on most of his off time so we could save faster to be together. Now on his offtime he lives with her. And her pparents. And her cousins. And get 6year old. And some kind of strange trailer park parties They have with face paint and hatchet men and Fago soda? Something about juggling? I know more then anything, he really wanted kids, and he told me that90% of the reason he broke up with me was because he thought I didn’t want kids. But if that was the case, now that he knows how much I wanted to start a family with him, he’d already be back……so, I started nc on 4/08. Any insight would be helpful.

admin

April 22, 2014 at 4:51 pm

Addie, email me at chris@exboyfriendrecovery.com and I will see if I can make my book more affordable for you 🙂

Carrie

April 19, 2014 at 5:29 pm

Hey!
So my boyfriend and I had been in a relationship for two years. We started dating when I was in grade 12, and he was in grade 10, we had an amazing relationship, we did so many fun things together all the time (go mini golfing, go bowling, to dinner, for walks, car drives, played video games all the time) there was never a dull moment. When we were happy we were excellent; I always felt like one of those cheesy couples in a movie where people would think “I want to be in a relationship like them”… We were perfect. But I have a bad habit of getting mad easily, and taking things out on him, and he was so great when we would fight, and I was not very nice… This happened quite a few times, and about 2 weeks ago we had a huge fight and we broke up… But he said he still wanted to be friends because he still loved me so much, and he wants everything to stay the same except hugging, kissing etc. about a week and a half ago I really thought about who I am as a person, and I didn’t like what I thought about… It made me so sick.. So we went for a drive like we always do, and I apologized for everything I have ever done, and I told time that I want to change for me, and be the happy bubbly person I use to be. That made him so happy, but he said he would still like to be single. He said he just wants time for him for a little while and that he would love to date later on… I really care about him and it’s kind of tearing me apart not being with him.. My only issue is that we have been hanging out because he is my best friend.. But I want to be more, and it’s really obvious that he loves me because he hugs me and puts his arm around me and almost kisses me… And we both know were perfect together… I am really trying to focus on me and fixing my problems,.. I am also very close with his family (due to me having a not so great home life) so I’m not too sure what steps to really take.. I’m going a little crazy… But I’ve been very good at minimum texting etc. help? 🙂 I would really love to get him back, he is also graduating this year and said he still very much wants me to be his date…
Thanks!!
Vikki

April 19, 2014 at 2:46 pm

Hi Chris, I met a wonderful man about 7months ago, started officially dating 2 months ago. Great relationship. He is in military and works a lot of hours. He is 30 and I’m 44. Age never was an issue. We went out many times, until recently. During week I hardly see him due to his work. Weekends he took time in mornings to do his own things, which was fine and wouldn’t get call from him only text. I would ask if we were going to do something later on, and he said he wanted to just relax. Sunday would be a day for him to do laundry and clean up. So I wouldn’t see him either. I’m doing schooling online and working. Suddenly that became an issue about two weeks ago. That he doesn’t feel security with me because I don’t make $$$ like him. That my drive suppose ably is diff than his. Which made no sense to me at all. I kept asking questions and his reply was well we are not in same page in life. And he said we are done. I asked if we could talk, because it wanted some answers and he stopped texting.
I feel horrible because I always put him first, treated him with respect and this is what I get?
Please advise me on what to do.
Heart broken…

admin

April 20, 2014 at 3:41 am

First off, I am so sorry about the breakup.

I know how incredibly hard it can be.

I am going to ask you a really hard question but I think its important for me to be up front with you if you want to get to the truth.

He is 30 and you are 44. You say that the age was never an issue and to you it wasnt but to him maybe it was. What kind of future do you think he saw with you?

Not trying to poke at any insecurities at all I am just trying to get you to think like him for a moment as it may give you some insight into how to approach the situation with him.

Just need some advice

April 16, 2014 at 5:01 pm

It been three months since my ex broke up with me. When I would call him and ask him to hang out he would agree, the last time we hang out text me saying that he was overwhelmed and he wants to me single for some years. I did the no contact for 30 days during that time he contact me but I did not respond. after the NC I send him a text but he didn’t respond. I call but then hang he call back we talk for a while but the phone cut out. couples days later he text me and I didn’t respond. I text and call him a day later he not responding. I am so confuse can you please give me some advice

admin

April 18, 2014 at 3:21 pm

Wait, he said he wants you to be single or years? He said that?
Just need some advice

April 23, 2014 at 7:37 pm

sorry mistype He said that he wants to be single for some years
admin

April 24, 2014 at 4:02 pm

Do you believe that?

I don’t.

mgm

April 16, 2014 at 3:12 pm

Please help. Desperate. My first love and I reconnected after 30+ years. We now been together for 4 yrs. He broke it off 3 weeks ago. We both love each other and always will. Were in our late 40’s. I want to say in the last 6 months I became clingy and he says I smothered him. We been together almost everyday for the 4 yrs together. He has mentioned how he wanted space and I panic.. so I became even more clingy after hearing he wanted space. I never gave him the space he wanted. I do admit now I was clingy n how I smothered him. I pushed him to the edge. He said his body is so numb and he dont care about nothing at all. Few days ago we met for the first time and he still dont want a relationship. He did give me kiss hello and complimented how I look. He also admitted he missed me. We did not live together but he still has some of my good clothes at his house and I still have his house key. So I been keeping a positive attitude that hope maybe another month or so we can slowly get through this. Please mostly asking men out there to please tell me something? Will there ever be a chance my first love will get over how I smothered him and being clingy and consider taking me back? I am seeking help for my self. I love and miss him so much. Please help with any advice… thanks.

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