How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Jenna

April 4, 2015 at 7:48 am

My boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend for a week and I didn’t even know when I found out I was so upset and feeling sorry for myself so my boyfriends mum told her other son to take me out go for a walk or something so he did and he was being so nice asking me how I was trying to make me laugh and before we went home I give him a hug and said thank you for today then he kissed me it was just a peck I pushed him away and didn’t say nothing to anyone told him not to aswell but now my boyfriend has found out and hes finished me what can I do
Serena

April 3, 2015 at 5:04 pm

I’m in a dilemma as you can see. I have been in a relationship with my BF for over a week and some change now. At first when I was with him, I wasn’t interested and did it out of sympathy, but now I really like him the same as he dose me. This morning, an old flame (whom I presumed was just a friend now) kissed me, so I pushed him away He did it again and this time I slowly fell into it. I never had sex with him because I’m saving myself for my BF and I never cheated before (keep in mind I’m a junior in high school). So I told him what happened and he only asked me who it was and I told him I couldn’t tell him. He asked me again and I still told him I couldn’t. He walked away from me and said nothing. I cried hard. Not because he left, but because of what I did and how it affected him. What should I do?
Lizzy

April 3, 2015 at 3:46 pm

Hi!
Kinda need your help. I’ve been with my boyfriend Sam for 3 years. He broke up with me on his birthday in the tailend of November. For about 3 months I constantly tried winning him back. We went out had fun shared New Years Eve kisses and had sex a few times. Little to my dismay during this time period he was trying to go out with other girls. One of which was my good friend. He got stood up on Valentine’s Day by said ‘friend’. I had the grand oppurtunity of being out with some friends of the opposite sex that night and snapped some pics of us all at a party. They were drunk which helped my case significantly. He messaged me constantly those next two days and I would ‘read’ them and not respond, but read reciepts showed him I was standing there idley aware of these messages. So I responded once he told me he enlisted in the military. The form was filled to a T; social security number, pay grade, departure date. I was terrified to say the least. So, I let him call me. As I cried on the phone he told me it was a joke to see if I still cared about him. Well, I did. We spent a little over a month in an odd state of secretly dating. I hated it and just wanted to go public. He didn’t want to let people know he crawled back and was embarrassed of this fact. After a slew of unsuccessful ultimatums, I told him, “Sam, in order to see if you’re the one, I’m going to talk to another guy. If I don’t like it, I’ll come back to you and we can go public.” Well I’ve always had a smallish crush on one of Sam’s more distant friends. We were closer than they were though, and a lot of activities we did were spent working together. He had recently gotten out of a long term relationship, as had I. We began ‘talking’, Tuesday he invited me over and we ended up making out. I told Sam and he cried. He NEVER cries. He is so upset and I am conflicted to say the least.
Please help!
Thanks
Anna

April 3, 2015 at 12:14 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 8 years multiple times, he caught me and we ended 6 months ago. I started seeing someone and he went crazy trying to get me back constant calling texting turning up outside my house crying and threatening suicide or to kill the person I was seeing (this pushed me further away from him) II told him I had moved on and I really couldn’t take the way he was acting.

I then ended with the new person and we ended up spending time together as friends which progressed back into acting like we were in a relationship. Eventually we were pretty much back together and one night he went through my phone when I was sleeping. He read a recent conversation where I was discussing with a friend about the other times I had cheated and whether I should come clean for this new relationship. He woke me up and asked me to leave, the next day we went for drinks and he said he loved me and could forgive me and said he wanted to marry me.

The reason I cheated was was because I felt very unwanted and unattractive in the relationship. These were partly my own insecurities but not helped by his depression – he didn’t work, wash or look after himself and constantly smoked weed and played computer games. First 2 years were ok, next four I supported him completely working hard paying for everything. Although we lived together we spent very little time together and he eventually stopped wanting to sleep with me. We argued a lot and he has an awful temper, never violent but mean. Everyone thought I was a saint for sticking by him and that he didn’t deserve me, I just loved him so much and knew eventually he would get better and we would have a good life together. The last 2 years I started cheating, none of these men meant anything to me and the guilt was awful yet i did it more than once. I cried all the time even in front of him but he often didn’t notice.

When we ended for the first time he turned his life around, stopped smoking weed and playing computer games. Looking after himself and trying to find a job. So after he had found everything out and forgave me we had about 2 weeks together he says he felt he tried very hard and I didn’t – I probably didn’t I am still full of guilt and don’t know how to act around him (I also recently had surgery so sex and going out was a bit difficult). Ultimately I fell back into the routine of coming round to his and sitting on my phone not giving him attention because that’s how I am so used to it being. He ended it with me 8 days ago saying he doesn’t believe I love him as I don’t seem to be changing and also because he feels weak for taking me back although still said he loves me and doubts he will love anyone this much again. He started dating someone and tells me she is not as pretty as me but is fun – I don’t know why he is telling me this. I am absolutely devastated, I started to act crazy like he did before non stop calling and texting he met with me 3 times to talk but each time Nothing I said he believed he just thinks I don’t want to be alone. The final time he got angry and called me a crazy bitch and a slag, said he hated me. I asked why he was being so awful and he said just give me space.

So it’s been 4 days I haven’t contacted him and will not. I have waited so long for him to better himself and now he finally has I want to be a better person too and show him how much I love him and always have. Do you think there is hope or is what I did too awful? He said he could forgive me I didn’t prove myself in the 2 weeks after, I just want another chance to show him how much I do love him. I would never ever cheat on him again if things went bad again I would weigh it up and properly work through it or end it if I thought I was going to cheat.
Torii

April 1, 2015 at 3:52 am

Me and my bf have been having problems in our whole relationship he has a mental disorder (that I didn’t recognize or know in the beginning) he kept leaving me. We would have great days and then He would just leave me out of no where saying I cheated or I was lying because I didn’t text him back with in three minutes or so. This went on for about two months so yes I cheated on him I felt horrible even doing it the whole time. I wanted us to be happy I want him but I didn’t feel like he loved me sometimes and that’s when I ran to someone else for support. The guy told my bf and let’s say it didn’t go very well when he confronted me. But we made up and I haven’t cheated at al not even spoke to another guy in months. I told him I’d help him with his mental disorder too cause he hates it how it makes him basically delusional. He keeps leaving again. For instance he was on break at work but never texted me I don’t text him first on his breaks because I don’t want him getting caught texting so I wait for him but he freaked out and said he never loved me and said I’ve been cheating with many many guys and he knows I have. But in al honesty I stopped cheating way before he even found out because I knew it was wrong and I didn’t want the other guy just him. Idk what to do anymore and he won’t speak to me atm he does this every other day or so. I know it’s not him doing this because he actually loves me and I know he trust me and I know this isn’t because I cheated because he did this way before I even did. But I know with his condition I have to constantly baby him but idk what else to do I let him see my phone all the time even if he doesn’t ask which he hasn’t in a month or longer and he even stays nights with me and if I miss a call or text I’ll send him pictures to show him that I was actually busy or on phone with drs or something but what else can I do

admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:35 pm

Can I ask you a question.

What is your reason for wanting him back?

woeurtutu

March 31, 2015 at 11:21 pm

Long story short, I cheated on my bf… this is the third time. It all started in August where I first pecked one of the guys I worked with. (we used to work together), the second guy was another dude we worked with but it was kissing for a longer period of time. The first guy admitted to it but the second didn’t. I moved away for school and we tried to make it work and it successfully did even though we had our ups and downs. Now, I am back home and working, at the start of March I kissed a dude I worked with. Yes if you were to judge this situation obviously I am the problem. I am the one cheating but I have come to realize its because I took advantage of how well my boyfriend treated me… How well he loved me and how much I didn’t know what it felt like to lose him. I admitted to this most recent incident after first begging for him to take me back than begging for an opportunity to be trusted again. He promised but took the promise back the next day. He tried his best to make me happy on my birthday (After we have broken up), we went for dinner, had some drinks and had sex.

I really want to show him I can change… I messaged him and he wants nothing to do with me. Told me not to message him, told me that I need to move on and told me even though he loves me he could never be with me. Many people are saying he is upset, angry, etc. I understand but I want to win him back. I don’t know what to do. I am going to do the 30 NC but I don’t know anything right now.

admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:25 pm

Well you made a mistake sleeping with him.

But its ok.

Definitely do NC.

Aika

March 30, 2015 at 4:56 pm

I have posted here before, but I got no reply. I really want to fix my situation, would you please help me?

I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex boyfriend. Lets call my boyfriend- Ron and my ex boyfriend – Fin.

I was with fin, when I met ron. I was hopelessly in love with fin, but fin was cheating on me, and I was just letting him use me. One day I just couldn’t take it and broke up with fin. Even after our breakup we ocassionally met each other intimately.

4 months to our breakup, and we still met each other intimately. But then my friends started to get worried and told me to atleast find a guy and try to move on. Thats when ron came into the picture. Me and ron were working at the same office. We started going to dates together, and for a moment of time I forgot about fin, I didnt think about him, I didnt call him to come over to my house. nothing at all..

Ron and I became serious without 5 months time. We introduced each other to our families. But then, I dont know what happened to me when fin called me one night and told me he wanted to talk. I couldnt tell ron about this, because he wouldnt be comfortable with it. So I sneaked fin, inside my house in midnight to meet up, and while talking, we kissed and then it led to another and then another. This made me guilty, but then at the same time I wanted more of it.

I didnt want to leave ron, I knew i had feelings for him, I just didnt know what I was feeling towards fin. So I didnt want to think about it either. for 2 months, we sneaked around behind my boyfriends back. But then I couldn’t take it anymore, I didnt want ron to feel the way I felt when fin cheated on me. I told fin that I dont have feelings for him anymore and I didnt want anything to do with him. I had fallen for ron, and I wanted to work it out, be together. I actually saw a future with ron.

4 months later, ron started behaving unusually. He started distancing himself, and I knew something was wrong. Just before I had my foundation exams, ron told me all of sudden out of nowhere he wanted a break from me. I begged him not to, and I told him i’m willing to do whatever it is to keep him from taking a break. He refused, and told me he needed his space. I didnt know what was going on. I left to malaysia to give him his space, and after i went there I found out he had been going out with another girl, he had been taking her to movies and everything. So I called him as soon as I found out, and told him that the point of a break is not to go out with someone else but take time for yourself. Instead of denying it, he shouted at me, called me bad names, just no respect at all. He told me we were over, and even after all that, I begged him.. but in the end I gave up and said okay, goodbye.

3 months without talking, or calling. I pretended that ron didnt exist, sure I was hurt, and I had no interest in moving on, but I didnt want to show anyone I was hurt or scarred.

Suddenly, about 2 or 3 weeks ago, ron contacted me, he apologized for all the things that he said, and i apologized for all the things i had said. He told me that he wanted to make things right, but he wanted to take things slow and just date for awhile. I told him okay, and I asked about the girl who came into his life when he thought of taking a break, and he denied the whole thing. I had proof but I didnt want to create any more trouble. I just said to myself, whats done is done.

Yestarday however I told him I needed assurance that when we do get into a relationship, it wouldnt be seeing him just in the morning, and then him goofying around with his friends or at work. that I wanted to see more of him, and be the way we used to be. i needed assurance that we do have a future.

His reply to that was, ” his friends and I are very different, so he doesnt want to take me around them, and he needs his space ”

So what do i need to do? I am confused, and I know i’m not thinking well. So before I took any step. I need someone elses opinion.

PS: I’ve been ignoring all my friends, so I cant ask them for their opinion.
misa

March 29, 2015 at 9:42 pm

I recently cheated on my bf twice, he doesn’t know yet. Ive never, ever, ever cheated before and never thought i woukd be this awful of a person. I love him, i cant think of anything wrong with him! Im having a really tough time figuring out why Ive done this. Should be easy enough, but the only thing im sure of is the sex with the other man is great. But I have amazing sex with my bf! The other guy, ive had some history with but we never dated. He became my secret best friend before i ever met my bf, and we ruined our friendship with sex. Now hes dating an ex of his (2 years now) and still talks to me. Maybe i have no closure with him, but i cannot destroy what i have and what im building with my boyfriend. Though, i think ive done that already. He just doesn’t know. Im playing a dangerous game and i just cant say no to the other guy. Beginning to think im just a typical ho. Super confused here and not clear on what im even doing.

admin

March 31, 2015 at 10:05 pm

Maybe you devolped feelings for the other guy?

How did you meet this other dude?
misa

April 1, 2015 at 5:58 am

Knew him from school, and talked 2 years just as friends ranting about stuff until we finally hung out in person. Slept together that night, both of us were single. But a few weeks later he got with his ex who he has a kid with and hes been with her for two years now, but we continue to talk about random stuff. Now this crap, and i dont want to lose him as my friend. And now this stupid issue. 🙁
admin

April 2, 2015 at 11:36 pm

Well, your ex may not take you back if you continue a relationship with the guy you cheated on him with.
misa

April 2, 2015 at 11:10 am

I absolutely cannot lose my boyfriend, but i cant figure out why i dont feel as guilty as i should. Ive done the worst thing EVER in a relationship, my first real, steady, beautiful relationship, and i cheat on him. Its like i need to ruin anything that goes good for me. Do i bring it up? I dont even know how and im petrified every time i think about it. Im breaking all contact and info with my ‘friend.’ I also live less than a mile for him now, unfortunately. I dont want my boyfriend to feel betrayed and hurt, even though thats obviously what ive done. He can be mad at me, but i dont want to be the one who hurt him even though its too late. How can i go about telling him, while making sense when i cant even make sense of it? Should i go on however long i can hoping he never finds out? Im so disgusted with myself for this situation and not feeling as bad as i should. Im only worried about him finding out. SIGH

Nikki

March 28, 2015 at 1:16 am

I cheated on my boyfriend for the second time. The first time I was going to leave him for my best friend. long story short, it didn’t happen and I got back together with my boyfriend. Next time around, I cheated on him with this guy… I told him the truth and he didn’t want to do anything with me anymore. We have been together for 4 years. He still allows me to see him and everything, but he told me he doesn’t want a relationship with me anymore… He’s also entertaining another girl now but he told me it’s nothing serious and that he will never be serious with another girl. Can this still be fixed? Please help me, I learned my lesson… You never really do see a good thing til it’s gone…

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:32 pm

Wow, you messed up…

What led you to cheating on him?
chloe

April 6, 2015 at 6:17 pm

To be honest it was all my friends they were telling me that the boy i went out with wasnt treating me right and that i should go out with the other boy instead but i didnt want to choose between them so i choose none and then my ex got told what happened and we havent spoke sinse

chloe

March 27, 2015 at 4:41 pm

I need help im head over heels for my ex boyfriend bt the thing is i cheated on him but i didnt mean to 2 years ago me and my ex reached 9 months in the relationship it became summer breack andvwe never saw each other half way through the summer breack myy friend introduced me to her cousins and the eldest one and i became close really fast one day my other friend and i were playing truth or dare and i choose dare she dared me to kiss the eldest boy on the cheeck so i did and his brother saw me and the next day we all went out side and we were pretending to be drunk and his cousin told him to kiss me on the cheeck and then were doing that but then he went to kiss me on the cheeck and i went to kiss him and we ended up acctualy kissing and it carryed on and then the day we went back to school i fell and my face swelled up and i was scared because all my friends told me to dump my ex so i dumpped him to stop him hurrting and after that happened his friend told him what happened and then we were okay for at least 3 mojths but my ex dosent know when i dumpped him i stopped seeing the other guy cause i didnt want to choose and since 2 years later ive never stopped thinking of my ex but i have a problem we havent spoken for them 2 years and i honestly so badly want him back what should i do??? :'( :'( :'(
marj

March 27, 2015 at 12:17 pm

I cheated on my bf of 4 years, lets call him Jack. Well, we did take a break after year 2 of our relationship. The first two years were kind of turbulent, especially since he was mostly unavailable to me both emotionally and physically due to medical school. I think I had reached a breaking point by year 2 and decided to break up with him after he took his USMLE step 1. It was hard, because I did love him. I don’t think I ever loved someone this much. I however do enjoy sex. During the break, I met another guy who was needy and kind of emotionally always there. Unfortunately, what I didn’t know was that he was mentally unstable. Four weeks into it, I decided to break up with this new guy since our normal conversations was him shouting out a bunch of obscenities and accusing me of cheating. Jack and I had starting conversing again, he became almost a different man. I knew I still loved him but I wanted to think through this again. Finally I decided I do love Jack and we got back together after a 6 month break. Unfortunately around the same time, the mentally unstable guy, lets call him John started calling again and telling me that he would kill himself if I didn’t see him, along with that he would say things such as “you are the only person that cared for me, if I don’t see you I don’t have any reason to live” I guess this was the first time for me with dealing with a person who was this unstable so I took his word for it. We met 3 times and
all 3 times ended up with us having sex and me feeling like trash. I cheated on my Jack, the guy I was completely crazy about. The 3rd time around I flat out told John I couldn’t see him anymore and that I can’t help him and actually love my bf. He let me go. However, 6 months ago, he started contacting me again. This time around, he started threatening me, saying he would call Jack, and my parents telling them “what a s*** I was” During this time, he would also apologize for his behavior, it was like a see-saw of emotions. But in November, when I made the dumb mistake of calling him to help my friend move (he was the only one I knew who had a truck on a Friday night and who would actually agree to come out, I couldn’t rent one since I had an expired license) he started harassing me full time, even messaging a friend of mine and bad mouthing me. The harassment reached monumental levels but in January he said he wanted to talk to me one last time and see me one last time. Now John had never done anything to hurt me physically, so I did go to meet him, unfortunately I met him at his house. He had forced himself on me saying if he could just “do” me and all this would be over and unbeknownst to me had also taken pictures of me. I left feeling violated but hoping never to hear from him again. I didn’t report him because I went there on my free will and I thought if I had told the cops, Jack would find out. John stopped calling for a few days after the incident and I thought I wouldn’t hear from him again. Boy was I wrong, this time he had pictures and and this time he threatened with sending those to both Jack and my parents. It was a total nightmare because I still didn’t tell my boyfriend but lived in fear that he will find out any day. He did, it happened 2 weeks ago, John sent him messages and pictures and pretty much told Jack all sorts of things that would make you want to throw up. He kept contacting me even after Jack had broken up with me (I guess he thought I would go back to him after he got my bf to break up with me) Instead I went to the cops and lodged a harassment complaint. Needless to say, cops got involved after they saw the messages he had been leaving me as well as the fact that he had shown up to the lab I work in, uninvited.
But I lost Jack, he was devastated and he won’t talk to me again. Everything was going great in our relationship until that point. We were even thinking of moving in together. We had reached a great point in our relationship. We were together emotionally and physically. I have apologized and almost begged him to reconsider. He is so angry though. I love him and I know he loved me too. I feel horrible hurting him this way, in a way I thought I was protecting him from crazy John. This really sucks. It has been a little more than a week that I have contacted him. I had written him an email a couple of days after he broke up with me and he had called asking why I hurt him and that he was completely blindsided. He asked me to stop contacting him because it hurts. I haven’t sent him any text for over a week. We have been broken up for over 2 weeks. I know I would do anything to be back with him. Do you have any suggestions?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:48 pm

I think NC is ideal for a situation like this.
marj

March 31, 2015 at 2:52 pm

Thank you Chris

Courtney

March 27, 2015 at 7:46 am

I was together with my boyfriend for 4 months, and in that 4 months we went through issues with friends, parents, and family. My boyfriend truly loved me, told me everyday how beautiful and how perfect I was for him (because we did have a lot in common) he treated me so right, and I cheated on him with his once best friend. I honestly have no idea why I did it. And now I really just miss him, I know I will never ever find a guy who will love me like he did, and ever since we broke up I have felt horrible and I can’t get him off my mind. I haven’t texted him or anything since though. But I’m planning on trying my hardest to win him back, because if he truly loved me like he said, he would give me a second chance right?

admin

March 29, 2015 at 2:51 pm

Well, its very hurtful when you get cheated on so all bets are off.

You need to find a way to show him remorse and show him hes the only one for you.

Rachel

March 26, 2015 at 6:06 am

Hello,
I have read this blog, and it seems helpful. I cheated on my boyfriend of seven months with an ex. This first ex. was in a relationship with me for a year and a half, and he was my first love. We got really serious really fast, and I realized that he wasn’t good for me because he was abusive, but at first I was so in love I was completely blind. I broke up with the first one, who we shall call Bill. Bill had cheated on me earlier on in the relationship with the town slut, excuse my french, but she has f’d every guy I know. Anyways, that hurt a lot and we took a break for a bit that I told him i needed to have because it hurt too much to even look at him after that. He begged me to come back and everything, and so I did. During this whole time, I have really liked this other guy who we will call Bob. Bob and I were closer in age and saw each other in school pretty much every day. We really liked each other for four years, predating Bill and I. However, Bob had been in relationships with other girls at my school, so I thought it wasn’t worth trying to get him. Finally, near the end of my relationship with Bill, I really found out that I loved Bob just as much as he loved me, and I cheated on Bill with Bob. I then broke up with Bill and told him I cheated on him. Bill has been on my case ever since, and Bob and I were completely happy for a long time, until now. In the very beginning of the relationship with Bob, I was still doing very intimate things with Bill, when I got drunk. The first time it happened I felt horribly guilty and everything, after I sobered up. The second time I knew I shouldn’t have gotten drunk, but I figured I was with friends so I would be okay, and I wasn’t. It happened a total of three times. Then I told Bob about cheating with Bill and asked him to forgive me. I didn’t want our relationship to be based on lies. The problem was, I only told him about one time, and because Bill got mad at me for stopping being physical with him, he told some people about what happened, and it got to Bob’s ears… So Bob asked me about what happened, and I had to tell him the complete truth. Mind you, this is a couple months after the initial telling Bob I cheated on him. We were able to move past the first revelation pretty much okay. However, this second one was really bad and Bob broke up with me a little over a week ago. I’ve been trying really hard not to text Bob a lot, or really at all. We had a conversation about this, and he said he still loves me, and I told him I am still madly in love with him and all that…. And he basically said he was sorry he had to break up with me, but that’s how it has to be for now. He said he can’t put on a happy face for me anymore, that it was too hard. So, I can understand that. He doesn’t text me much anymore, and I guess it’s because he’s really hurt. I need to know, should I still have hope? We were really serious, and we wanted to move in together soon, and I was going to help him buy his car, and he was the one that brought up the idea of any kind of long term future, as we were really close friends for four years, and we loved each other then. So, my question is, should I have hope, and should I text him at ALL, or should I leave him completely alone? I’m scared he will move on without me, despite his strong feelings for me, however at the same time, it seems like he’s given me hope? He said also, “Idk about down the road, it might change, but for now this is how it has to be.” So, I am slightly hurt and confused. I am really actually in a ton of pain because I hate myself for cheating. I really love him and I want this to work out. Suggestions?????

admin

March 31, 2015 at 8:19 pm

Have you read the updated version of this article yet?
Rachel

March 26, 2015 at 6:12 am

The other point I forgot to mention….
Bob and I live kinda far from one another, so it is essentially a long distance relationship, where we can only see each other once a week, and sometimes only once every two weeks.

courtney

March 25, 2015 at 10:59 pm

I was on vacation and met my ex.. we lived 6 hours apart and still managed to have a great relationship for 6 months we would alternate going to see each other. before I was in that relationship I was with someone for 3 years who I lived with for 3 years. So we were not only in a relationship but became very good friends on the way. things were getting ugly in this relationship and that is when I met this other guy when I was on vacation. I soon left the guy of 3 years for the guy I met on vacation.. after a great 6 months together I started missing the other guy.. not in a sense of I wanted to get back with him but I just missed talking to him and being his friend. so I contacted him and we hung out about 5 times nothing sexual happened but I did stay at his house once.. the guy of 3 years took it as I wanted to get back with him but rest assured I told him that I wanted to be with the other guy. So he got mad and messaged the other guy all of our text messages and told my boyfriend everything. at first my boyfriend was very angry and so we quit talking. It was very hard for him to believe me because we are a long distance relationship so i couldnt talk to him in person then he randomly texted me one day and we continued to text for about a month.. but it felt like he was yanking my chain he would only text me when he was bored or if he was drunk and he always told me his friends told him not to talk to me. For me, it hurt too bad to talk to him it made me miss him more so I explained this to him and I felt like he didn’t want to talk to me seriously so I told him I couldn’t talk to him anymore. It’s been a month and I haven’t talked to him since.. I want to be with him but I don’t know how to get him back please help me
Nikki

March 25, 2015 at 6:38 am

Ok I really need help I cheated on my boyfriend of 6 years this past Sunday was our anniversary . We were having a wonderful day well while we were on our date the guy I cheated on him with called him and told him we had been sleeping together . I was in utter shock I was speechless and didn’t know what to say . He began crying saying “I love you I was going to propose ” why did u do this . I was in such shock I didn’t know what to say or do . The guy even sent him the text between us . I tried texting my ex but he will not respond . I apologized and denied it . I don’t know what to do at this point . After reading this I figure I should try the NC? Help please !

admin

March 31, 2015 at 7:11 pm

Did you really cheat on him though?

If so, why?

Lynda

March 23, 2015 at 10:49 pm

So I was with my boyfriend for 7 years. I cheated on him because I did feel lonely and unimportant. We have been broken up for 1yr and 3months but in that time we have seen each other on and off about 5 times. In that time frame i also got pregnant and we chose not to keep it. I feel like we were 2 different people back then and now we are a little bit more mature. I dated someone else and he is now just starting to date someone. I feel like i want to fight to get him back. I’m just not sure if its worth it. We have talked he said he loves me but he says he has moved on plus he doesn’t think it will work again. Am i wasting my time?

admin

March 25, 2015 at 7:56 pm

Well, its tough because righ tnow he is not in the frame of mind to take you back but whose to say that if you work on him a bit he will be (which I have found is usually what happens.)
Lynda

March 26, 2015 at 7:57 pm

Thank you very much! That helps me out alot!

Zoe

March 23, 2015 at 9:24 pm

My boyfriend of 14 months just broke up with me because he found out I cheated on him.
I’ll explain. It’s very messy and long so hold on tight.
My boyfriend, let’s call him Tom, and I started at friends with benefits in high school that quickly turned into dating. Before we started dating I was friend with a guy named Ben. Tom disliked our friendship because we always suspected that I would leave him for Ben. Ben had always joked about hooking up with me and that continued for a while, soon enough I started to realize he was serious but I didn’t say anything to my boyfriend and it continued. Even though we started out as just a summer relationship, because we were leaving for college soon, we got very serious very quickly. Despite this status I continued to talk to Ben and we had talked about hooking up over thanksgiving when I would be no longer with my boyfriend. I knew it was wrong but he made me feel special and I liked the attention. I never flat out say that I wanted to hook up with him but I didn’t say no. 3 weeks before leaving for college a girl from our school died in an accident. This was extremely hard on my boyfriend because it was his sister’s best friend. I was there for him through all of it. But unfortunately I kept talking to Ben about thanksgiving break because I needed a distraction from the death. It sounds horrible but that’s how I dealt with it. I had no intentions of actually hooking up with him ever. I just enjoyed the attention. A few days after the death of our friend and talking about thanksgiving I completely stopped taking to Ben because I wanted to enjoy every last minute I had with my boyfriend. We both agreed that we had fallen so in love that we would stay together through college and have a long distance relationship. Through out college all communication with Ben had stopped but my boyfriend continued to express that he was scared to lose to me him and to make sure nothing was happening between us or any guy that I met in college. I had lied every time he asked and said nothing had happened. Our first semester we were exclusive but over winter break my boyfriend had expressed that he did not trust me and wanted to break up completely. I couldn’t stand not being with him so I agreed to be in an open relationship. Between the start of second semester and spring break I had an extremely hard time dealing with the fact that my boyfriend was making out and flirting with other girls. I confronted him during spring break and told him I didn’t like it. He admitted that he saw how much it was hurting me and agreed to be exclusive again. We started to fall deeper in love and even planned our futures together. A week after spring break my boyfriend came to my school to visit and while I was in class he went through my computer and read all my past text messages between Ben and I. He was furious to find out that his suspicion was correct. He drove home early and was yelling at me through text. I agreed to allow him to Skype and read trough all my messages between Ben and I to try and explain myself and my actions. I’m horrible at putting my thoughts into words so this did not go over well. It took us 4 days to discuss the issue and in the end he told me that he does not know me at all and that he was lost all respect and trust for me. He admits that he still had feelings for me but not “love”. I’m still crazy in love with him and I hate myself so much for what I did. I want him back and will do anything to do so. I truly believe that I had dramatically changed since the beginning our our relationship and try to reassure my love for him but he wouldn’t take any of it. I realize that I need to give both of us space but I’m not sure what to do after 30 days of no contact. There are 50 days left in the semester until we’re both back home together for the summer.
I guess what I’m asking here is how do I go about regaining his trust and respect after the 30 days of silence are up? Do I declare my love and seriousness for him or maybe just try to be his friend first? Please help me in winning him back.

Zoe

March 23, 2015 at 9:28 pm

This is also both our first relationship.

Jen

March 23, 2015 at 5:42 pm

Hi Chris,

I did a successful 30day NC on my boyfriend. I had previously posted here that my boyfriend saw me kissing my best friend and he broke up with me. I originally had begged him and sent a message before i found this site. Like you’ve mentioned here many times, no two break up cases are ever the same and there are really many variables that can come into play to make the situation simple or complex as the case may be. For me, it was complex. I live with my boyfriend but i travel for work 3weeks a month so that helped a great deal as i had to leave for work a week after. When i got back home after 3weeks, he had travelled for work and he came back 1week after which was coincidentally the 30th day of my NC. He initiated a conversation and told me he would like to get past this and work things out and now we’ve made up. I’m putting all the advice on this site to use as they will all come in handy in handling post breakup/makeup life. Certainly, many things have to change.

Thank you so much Chris. i must say that i believe NC works. Because he specifically mentioned that he just couldn’t imagine life without me. I know that would’ve been different if id been all up in his grill being a gnat. Please keep up the good work and thanks for responding to comments in the comment section. It goes a long way in helping people convince themselves they’re doing the right thing and getting a clearer perspective of their unique individual situations.

admin

March 24, 2015 at 9:08 pm

Thanks for the testimonial!

Hopefully others read this and gain inspiration from your story.

Kellie

March 23, 2015 at 4:42 pm

My boyfriend of 7 years gets a blocked call, some women telling him stuff which I dont know yet, because he want talk to me.He told me confess or show up with a moving truck.So I did both, I confessed to txting steamy with my x about 3 years ago, he said I was lying to him.Im really confused on this.so I haven’t talked to him in a week so far, its super hard.I did send him an email and txt just said, I Love You.please help

admin

March 24, 2015 at 9:02 pm

So, you did cheat.

Jessica

March 22, 2015 at 1:21 pm

Hi, I made a massive mistake and cheated on my boyfriend of 6 years. We have been in a long distance relationship for several months and that’s when it happened. It was with a random at a party, so no emotional attraction at all. My boyfriend has said he can never forgive me and wants to break up. What should I do to get him back? Should I travel to my boyfriends country and try to win him back or try to do it from my country? I truly want to save the relationship.

admin

March 22, 2015 at 5:54 pm

Was it just a kiss or more?

What are we dealing with here?

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