How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Andrea

June 3, 2015 at 12:39 am

My boyfriend went through my messages and saw that I was texting my best friend and he saw that I had said “goodnight” and so did my best friend so my boyfriend got mad saying I cheated on him and I tried explaining to him that it meant nothing he was just my bestfriend and he has a girlfriend and he didn’t believe me and still says I cheated on him…. How do I get him back ? It is so hard for me not to text him

Chris Seiter

June 3, 2015 at 5:06 pm

Don’t text him.

Read the updated version of this article too.

Emma

June 2, 2015 at 6:44 am

My fiancé who I’ve been with for 5 years now knew I lied about a co worker , that I’ve been connecting alot during the last period , we talked about work and sometimes throw some jokes , my man told me to cut it off , but I still needed to talk to him about work every once and a while, but honestly I told my fiancé that I stopped completely , then he knew again we still talk ,, he was really mad and told me he would call off the wedding because it wasn’t the first time lied ,

Chris Seiter

June 2, 2015 at 4:00 pm

Define connecting?

Were you actually cheating?

How far did it go with this coworker?

Svetlana

June 1, 2015 at 4:03 pm

He was obsessed with Second Life and I fell for a friend of mine. He broke up with me once he found out. I miss him and I’m still in love with him. I honestly think we can work things out. What should I do?
Violet

June 1, 2015 at 7:57 am

Hi,
I was in a long distance relationship (250) miles for a year and a half. I met my ex boyfriend when he was living near to me but a job change necessitated that he moved. I knew him for about a month and a half before he left and it was only once he’d moved to his new place that we decided to try a long distance relationship. He is the kindest, sweetest, most considerate and gentle guy imaginable. I couldn’t have asked for a better boyfriend and we got on like a house on fire. We saw each other roughly fortnightly or monthly and he did everything he could to make that easy for me (paid for travel, came to me whenever possible. )

Although the long distance was really hard, he did everything possible to alleviate the difficulty of our situation. When we started our relationship, I was still studying at university. As our relationship progressed, my workload became more intense than I thought possible and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to continue juggling the travelling, heartache of missing him etc, whilst completing my degree. I had asked my boyfriend to consider moving back and to even just look at jobs near me again but he brushed those requests off and said I was being ridiculous- I wasn’t. I only asked for that because I wanted our relationship to be long term. I was serious.

After much deliberation and pain, I ended our relationship over the phone. I poured my heart out. After we broke up, he visited me and said he’d suddenly decided that he wanted nothing more than to move close to me and find a new job. This unsettled me because I couldn’t see why it took for me to break up with him for him to say that- I felt that he was being slightly selfish because it was only then because he was hurting, that he was willing to consider moving. Scared that it wasn’t what he really wanted and that he’d regret moving here and resent me, I told him not to and said my decision to break up still stood- that was extremely difficult for me.

A few months after that, he visited again but on a drunken night out with a large group of friends, a guy kissed me. My ex didn’t see it happen but he was suspicious because he saw me sitting with the guy, and I admitted that he had kissed me. I hadn’t planned for it to happen. I was very drunk but I know that isn’t an excuse- I didn’t pull away from him kissing me. I did not have feelings for the guy. I just think that everything I did around that time were desperate attempts to prove to myself that I could move on, when really, I couldn’t and still can’t. This happened a year ago and my ex was heartbroken by it, made worse by the fact that I did not let him see that I felt terrible or remorseful because I felt I needed to continue coping with life without my ex and that having him hating me was easier for me to deal with.

Recently I have had contact with my ex again. I visited him to show him how sorry I am and that I still love and care deeply for him. I wasn’t very good at putting my points across and so resorted to emailing him subsequently to do so better. He listened and was extremely gracious and kind but he has said despite his lingering feelings for me, he doesn’t know if he will ever see me the way he used to. He has said that for now we both need to get on with our lives and just try to find happiness. I hope that he does but a year on, it’s clear to me that I won’t stop missing him.

What are your thoughts? I didn’t ‘cheat’ on him but he seems to see it that way.
J

June 1, 2015 at 2:04 am

I wanted to ask if its worth getting back with my ex girlfriend, because she had sexual relations with another man. Now my problem is she is soon to be leaving and it will become more like a long distance relationship so is it even worth getting back with a person who hurt you that much?
Kira

May 31, 2015 at 2:28 pm

I would never normally do this, but at this point I think I’m utterly desperate to get my ex back. We dated for a year, around 9 months into our date-lationship he traveled through Europe with his sister for three months, and everything was rocky between us until about two weeks ago. Last weekend I got really drunk with my friend and a couple of coworkers, all people I thought I could trust, and the alcohol crept up when i least expected it, and by the time 9pm rolled around I blacked out. Next thing I know I’m at one of my coworker’s places and slumped over in the shower after against the wall not really knowing where I was and afterwards, I come to consciousness at 4am when I look at my phone again for the time, and it wasn’t until later in the week that I vaguely remembered physical activity which I could hardly consent to. I decided not to tell my boyfriend the next few days because I wasn’t sure of what happened, but I could tell my body was feeling a bit off and a little hurt. When I did decide to tell my boyfriend it was nearly a week later and the only thing he asked me is if I got tested, but didn’t really ask for the details of the rest of the night, and I wasn’t about to divulge in it unless he asked questions in case it would hurt him further. But afterwards I gave him a couple of days to digest and to let his emotions run their course, and three mornings later I woke up to two very harsh texts about him telling his whole family and how I’m no longer welcome, and how what I did was so unforgivable and disgusting that he never wanted to hear from me or see me again. That he would block me from all social media and that I had to erase him and his entire family from my life completely. I even texted his mom and sister afterwards profusely apologizing for hurting him and for betraying their family, but got no response. I don’t know what to do, I’m at a complete and total loss. I know myself and know that if I were even remotely conscious I wouldn’t have let anything physical happen that Friday night even if I were drunk, but I also know he will never choose to see it that way. I don’t necessarily want him back because I’m afraid it will hurt him too much, he’ll never look at me the same. But I do want him to talk to me and hear me out, just see me face to face. Is there anything I can do to move forward?
Rebekah

May 28, 2015 at 8:21 am

Okay so I can’t believe I’m doing this but here goes nothing. So my boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) recently dumped me like a week ago and accused me of cheating on him. Does sending photos of you in your underwear to another guy on accident and then on purpose count as cheating? I know why I did it now after I took a step back and really thought hard about why I did it. I really want to get him back and make him believe I can be a trustworthy girlfriend after what I did to him. I’m so confused and have no idea how to approach the situation. We both decided to stay friends and I’ve been talking to him almost every day since he dumped me and I feel like if I randomly stop talking to him he’ll think I don’t want to talk to him or be friends anymore and that he’ll cut me out of his life forever and I’ll never get him back.
I could really use your help.
Thanks.
Susan

May 27, 2015 at 5:20 pm

Hi Chris,

My ex and I were together for a year and a half. I find it difficult to control my drinking at times. A month ago, I got very drunk and remember virtually nothing after heading to a nightclub. I had a bottle of wine before heading out then brandy and shots of tequila and was then told I necked a half 70cl bottle of whiskey when I got home. Some guys my friend knew from college came back and one of them believes that we kissed – I remember nothing. I told my ex straight away and he broke up with me a week later. We were having no problems in our relationship before this incident. He believes that I was too drunk and knows that I didn’t want it to happen but he still can’t forgive me. I have told him I will go to counselling and control my drinking but he says he still can’t trust me. He keeps saying he needs space, which I have done for the past 2 weeks but he hasn’t said for definate whether he would want to get back with me and just kept saying that he doesn’t know. I’m not sure if I should tell him that if he wants to get back he needs to do it now or never, or if I should just keep waiting and hoping like a sad fool. The false seeming hope is worse than if he just said he never would. Please help.
Caitlyn

May 25, 2015 at 4:26 pm

so two nights ago I was hanging out with my brother and his friend and my friend (who is a girl). I’ve been talking to this guy for a month and a half but haven’t seen him in three weeks because we had school and on the weekends one of us was busy so we couldn’t hangout. and he got in trouble this weekend and he would not tell me why is parents were so pissed. He was talking to this girl, Taylor, on the phone that night. he didn’t even ask to call me like he usually does. I’ve always been jealous of her, he talked about her and wanted to hangout with her but we agreed wed only hang out with the opposite genders in groups seeing as we’ve both been cheated on. we weren’t really together, we were just talking but he said he was going to ask me out the next day (which is today). anyways, that night all four of us were in my bed hanging out, and my brothers friend draped is arm over my side cause we were all laying on our sides basically spooning. I knew I shouldn’t be with a guy like how I was that night, I should’ve walked away. but he kissed me which for whatever reason I wasn’t expecting. and it was my first kiss, and I didn’t react, he pulled away and listened to my heart cause it was beating really fast cause I was nervous and kind of freaking out, he kissed me again and then I kissed back after a few second but then alarms started souning and I realized I was basically cheating. I felt awful. the next day I told him what happened, I wanted to call him but I knew I wouldn’t be able to cause id break down. I told him over text and he was devastated, and I knew he would be, I had until 8 pm to call him and possibly change his mind and decide what we would do, if we would be friends (kind of awkward), if wed never talk ( wed both be depressed cause we constantly talk and thered be so much change), or continue talking (but he would not trust me around guys or anything and would want to constantly be checking my phone). we decided on being friends, after much debate and many questions. but we both have feelings for each other still and I want more than anything to actually be his girlfriend and be able to kiss him and hug him and tell him in person that I love him, not just through text or over the phone. its safe to say that I screwed up big time, and I want him back more than anything. we are talking about going to see a move too, like we did when we were talking. what do you think I can do about this situation? any advice or tips would help. I appreciate your time. thank you
L

May 24, 2015 at 5:53 am

I met my guy at work. When he introduced himself, I was immediately attracted to him. about 5 months later we had our work holiday party and he came onto me and confessed his desire for me. I was in a long term relationship with someone at the time to despite my attraction to him, i declined. We ended up hanging out a couple times after work and eventually we hooked up. I broke up with the boyfriend and started seeing him as a friends with benefits. We had discussed it several times that thats what we were. After a couple months my feelings started growing and I was falling in love. About a month later I drunkenly confessed I was in love with him and he told me “he wasn’t there yet”. I played it off but felt like a fool.

During all of this we kept our relations on the super down low at work (a bar.. so we would have a drink after sometimes) and he would be so paranoid of people finding out so he would push me away. Also most of the time he won’t respond to my texts when I say good morning or ask what he’s up to or share something funny or something that made me think of him. I really only saw him twice a week, if that. But when we’re together it’s so wonderful. I feel so completely comfortable with him, telling each other stories of our lives and having the most amazing sex either of us has ever had. We laugh and talk and its beautiful. But in between those times we’re so distant and it’s very hard for me to deal with.

A rumor started at work that me and another guy had slept together, and we really hadn’t. So my guy asked me over and over if I did and I truthfully said no and that he would have to trust me. Well, after I told him I loved him and he responded the way he did.. it really threw me off. It angered me. I told myself maybe I should just sleep with this other guy F*** it. Well one night I was having a beer after work and my guy was too and we were talking to the band. He was acting very distant towards me as usual, almost like he was uncomfortable being around me and then he left to go home. The other guy was done and was having a beer. So I joined him. One thing lead to another and I slept with him. The next day I don’t think I ever felt more disgusted with myself. I cried and cried and curled in a ball and sobbed about it for 2 days. I knew that even though me and my guy never established a relationship, what I did was wrong. I debated on telling him and eventually decided not to because at that point I considered myself to be single and as long as I was single, it wasn’t any of his business. Well right after that happened I told my guy i’m having a hard time with this FWB thing and it kinda propelled our thing into an actual relationship. He told me his feelings are growing for me and he calls me his girlfriend. But he also told me he’s not ready to be super serious with me. Again.. all this wishy washy stuff. But for the past month i stopped beating myself up over what I did and just kinda focused on him and what it was and not to over think us and let it grow but I can consider him my boyfriend now. Not dating anyone else.

Well the other guy just left our place of work and before he left, apparently confessed to the other staff everyone he slept with. My guy caught wind, called me and I fessed up. Of course he got very upset and hung up on me. We had a text argument where I tried to defend myself by saying I didn’t consider us exclusive at that point, plus I was mad and confused. I understand that doesn’t make anything better. But we haven’t talked in 24 hours and he even unfriended me from Facebook. He is very hurt over this and i’m so extremely sorry. I absolutely want to fix this and I want him back and I want to be with him. I’m going to give him space.. I’m not going to contact him for as long as I can stand it. I will see him sometimes at work though, but we don’t work side by side so it shouldn’t be TOO bad.

Would you consider what I did cheating? On one hand, yes of course I think I did because I felt it in my bones that what I did was messed up. And obviously he is so hurt by it now. On the other hand, I feel like no because we weren’t an exclusive couple by then and when I tried to be, he pushed me away and said no. If he would’ve told me yes he wanted to be exclusive with me, I of course would not have gone the way I did. But I want him to be honest with me about his feelings. I can’t force him to be in love with me just because I am with him. It’s not fair of him to not want to be in an actual relationship.. yet expect those rules to still apply. I mean.. what the hell?

Chris Seiter

June 2, 2015 at 2:12 am

Yes, I think it is definitely cheating.

did an official breakup happen?

Dee

May 21, 2015 at 5:44 pm

Hi Chris. I’ve known my boyfriend for four years but we only hooked up 6 months now. Firstly he doesn’t like being called my bf because he wants to get married and so do i. Two days ago we had an argument and I shouted at him, but I’ve promised to always speak to him nicely no matter what. So after the argument he left and hasn’t yet came back. He a called last night and said things aren’t working out and that he’ll come on Friday to talk to me. He also wants me to stop working so he can see me more and take care of me. What should I do when he comes or what should I say? I really miss him and want him back, we never cheated on each other though.

Chris Seiter

June 1, 2015 at 6:14 pm

Have you used NC on him?

Rose

May 17, 2015 at 11:38 am

All I did was kiss the guy and my ex and I broke up I need hi back what can I tell him to get him back please help me
Amelia

May 17, 2015 at 6:37 am

I was in a long distance relationship and I cheated on my boyfriend because we hardly talked and I always felt like a bother to him so I found comfort in another, although, I knew that we hardly talked because he was so busy trying to find a job, and he would be too tired to talk when he got home at night. So I’m wondering, is it even fair for me to ask for him back, considering I knew he was doing important things and I should’ve been more patient?
eli

May 15, 2015 at 5:59 pm

This is the most disgusted thing i ever did in my life. I really want my boyfriend back. I already begged him, cried a lot infront of him. He didn’t listen anything. we are in distsnce relationship so even it’s not easy for me to meet him when ever i want. from today i cut all my contacts from him. Only two days before i got this site. when i lost all my hope then i searched for some solution online n i got this website

eli

May 22, 2015 at 2:47 pm

We are in a distance relationship. Sometimes we fight. So i was disturbed due to that. I don’t have much friends to discuss all my problems. So at that time i became friend with that guy. And we became close and all these happend.
Chris Seiter

May 19, 2015 at 5:42 pm

What caused you to do it though?

I am trying to determine how much of a shot you have.

eli

May 13, 2015 at 3:00 pm

I cheated on my bf one month back. Then i confessed everything to him. Now he broke up with me the day i confessed. He said i broke his trust n where there is no trust there is no love. The problem is distance relationship. I don’t know what to do. Please help.

eli

May 15, 2015 at 5:53 pm

hi Chris… i had sex with some other guy….
eli

May 15, 2015 at 5:50 pm

It was sex
Chris Seiter

May 14, 2015 at 3:43 pm

Was it cheating in the form of sex or just like a kiss?

Shivi

May 12, 2015 at 3:49 pm

Well at first i read the article when i was going through the toughest phase of my relation
I just thought why not follow wat is said..n it wat seemed impossible happend..Miracle of my life took place
i got my boyfriend back..al d tips actually worked..step by step
Thankes a lot for helping
il never forget

Chris Seiter

May 13, 2015 at 12:34 pm

You are super welcome! Spread the word if you can.

Carlie

May 8, 2015 at 5:36 am

I started dating my boyfriend when I was 14 years old. After graduating High School he left for the military and I stayed at home and started going to college. We have been living apart for 10 months now. One night I went out with some coworkers we were all drinking on thing let to another and I cheated on my boyfriend with one of my co-workers. My boyfriend and I have always been honest with each other so I let him know what had happened which was that I had sex with on of my co-workers and my boyfriend broke up with me right away. A couple days later the guy I cheated on my boyfriend with texted me telling me that we never had sex and that we just fooled around and said I was probably too drunk to remember what happened. I told my boyfriend about it but he wont believe me even after I sent him a screen shot of what the guy sent me. I have been with this guy for almost 5 years now and I don’t want to lose him to one drunk night. I know its not an excuse but I want a chance to explain myself and have him forgive me but I fear he never will.
Shannon Kelley

May 7, 2015 at 11:15 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years. I cheated once but he forgave me. A stupid immature decision on my part, but I did it again just recently. My boyfriend broke up with me just 3 days ago and i’ve been hysterical. He means alot to me and i really cant lose him because of a stupid drunk decision. He doesnt want to talk to me and is extremely hurt. He told me he hated me and a bunch of other stuff. I believe i can get him back if i try hard enough.. which i will. What can i do to make him miss me? To make him want to talk to me? I broke his heart this time and i need help. I need my sweetheart back. We had planned on getting married and everything. Help!
JJ

May 6, 2015 at 6:47 pm

Hi Chris,
Well here we go. I ran into my high school crush in October of 2013. We started hanging out and eventually became a couple about three months later although at the time I was still having relations with another man. My boyfriend knew nothing about him until October of 2014. By then I had stopped seeing the other man. We didn’t really talk about it he just held it in. Then in January of 2015 a conversation came up and he mentioned the other man. He broke up with me and we were back together about two weeks later. February I find out I’m expecting a baby, April we get engaged, then things went downhill. We were moving in together about a week before he proposed. I bought a recliner from my old apartment to our new apartment. Everything was fine. A week after him proposing we had to switch apartments. I’m at a family members house and he’s with a family member moving the furniture. As he’s bringing the recliner to the truck boom he a hears a noise. He thinking shoot I broke it. He flips the recliner over and a phone is laying on the ground. His family member asked if he could have the phone and my fiance told him yes. He wanted to charge it and see who it was for first. So he charges the phone, turns it on, and immediately notices that it was an old phone of mine from the middle of 2013 well before him. But….. it was still connected to my twitter and Facebook from back then. Since March I haven’t had a twitter and everything that reminded me of another man on my Facebook was deleted last year. But somehow it all showed up in that old phone. To make a very long story short he found some messages to other men for about two months of us being together. They stopped after that because I realized that he may have been the right guy for me. I changed my whole life around for him. Even denied a free ride to nursing school in another state to be with him. Bottom line is he broke up with me a week after proposing. He didn’t speak to me for three days after the break up. We speak to each other every day now and we’ve even had sexual contact since the breakup. I did everything you said not to do because I’m so afraid that I’m going to lose him forever. I love him with my all. He’s the best thing to happen to my daughter and me since my daughter’s father walked out on us 3 years ago. Him walking out on us made me bitter and turned me into someone I’m not. I’m just so lost without my fiance right now. I’m four months pregnant, dehydrated, losing weight, and depressed. I want him back like now. What am I to do?
Neilwe

May 5, 2015 at 12:06 pm

Hi chris I need advice,I cheated on my ex 13yrs ago and I left him,I have kids and he has kids,recently he came back in my life and told me he still loves me no matter what happened in the past so we’ve been back together for two months now the problem is he calls me once in two weeks and I’m always lonely and I’m scared cos I have fallen inlove with him but he’s always busy he has a business he’s always working I’m lonely and I don’t want to hurt him again how do I tell him that I want his attention.

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1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”