How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Jamie

July 21, 2015 at 2:30 am

hey. im Jamie I recently cheated I guess you may call it on my boyfriend. the thing is I didn’t realize this at the time I had just been trying to get back at this guy who had done me wrong. by that I mean he had told secrets lied on me etc. but now my boyfreid and I are kinda not together I had told him bye bc nothing I had said was working I was gonna give him time to cool off and just as I said bye he told me to wait and I had replyed with “yea” he said “ill call you tonight” now ik you probably wont get back to me before I get the call maybe he wont even call but im scared and I really don’t know what to do and as far as I went with the other guy I had told him I loved him but i didn’t mean it i talked to him about problems making it seem like a real relationship but i never asked him out and he never asked me out therefore i wasn’t dating the other guy knew about my boyfriend and sent him meassages any advice ?
Nat

July 19, 2015 at 11:18 am

Sooo, ive been in a LDR for about four years now, but i havent met him in person , but we’ve skyped and called and everything. And i feel emotionally attached to him, but in the past year or so, i have had a second relationship, but this time as an inperson one, and with this second guy, ive gone all the way with, but he doesnt know about my emotional attachment to my LDR partner. Im not emotionally attached to my inperson paryner because i feel like its more of a friends w/ benefits… So im wanting to end that soon because the thought of this all is killing me inside, knowing ive been so stupid to go and cheat. Neither guys know of the other existing relationship (btw). And i know my LDR parner has been cheated on by past ex girlfriends, and is extremely emotional, im worried if i confessed to cheating on him he would not only be upset and heartbroken, but i fear he would also be suicidal because he thought i was “the one.” I feel like if i dont tell him, then he’d eventually find out find out down the road from someone just speaking openly about the person i cheated on him with and ask me about it. I’d like to save my LDR but i fear the worst.
joy

July 16, 2015 at 1:32 pm

Hi my name is joy I have been in this relationship for the past 10 years and we have 4 kids I could give you our live story but that would take days so ill start from this part we wsre to marry in 2014 and it would of been the secpnd attempt cos we didnt go through with it firsf time round I had a baby in 2013 so would of been a year to the wedding this was my 4th child evedy thing was fine and I was doin all the planning for the wedding and I was worn out my partner took less notice of me and there was distance coming between us I felt I was been ignored hence I cheated when Iwent out I got the attention I was looking for and I liked it I told my partner I needed a break and then called of the wedding I broke his heart I only met the other person a couple of times but I never slept with it didn’t seam right I liked the attention but I loved my partner after realising wat I done I tried to work it out with my partner and I did he came back and we were ok well we were getting there anyway so now 3 weeks ago he saw pictures ofthe fella I met and I think it hit him again how could she do it I have not had contact with this person since and tjat was a year and a half ago but seening the pictures has got him thinking again I thought there was somethin wrong with him but instead of asking or tring to see from his side I told him go I actually thought he would of stood his ground and stayed but he didn’t now its been a week since he left and I no ive bombarded him with txt messages but he is having none of it he has blocked me of facebook told me he should of never ceame back in the first place and he only came back for the kids he dont love me nor do he see a future with me but before these pictures showed upwe were making plans now there is nothin wat should I do I love him so much I want to get him back he still looks at my snap stories is that a good thing or a bad thing how long should I give him to realise wat he have befoe givin up I would really appreciate your help

joy

July 17, 2015 at 7:37 am

It was only a kiss I have never had sex with anyone other than my ex I would of never felt right and thats wat I dont get how could he be so cold towards me ive sent an email to him yesterday and he must of read it then last night he sends a text saing hi joy sorry for late txt just to confirm is 4 ok to collect the kids I was reading it as if it was a business deal how can I fix us
Chris Seiter

July 16, 2015 at 5:53 pm

How bad did you cheat?

Are we talking a kiss or the full thing?

lisa Hayward

July 12, 2015 at 5:07 pm

Hi Chris, Thankyou for your selfless effort in helping others who are hurting after the loss of a loved one. My situation is a little dire as it’s already been 3 months since we separated but we have remained in contact as we shared a house and he has had to help with payments, work around the house and collecting his gear over stages. This has made things hard. I have been suffering depression, and was not fulfilled in the rship towards the end and felt like a nag. Under stress after losing my job and feeling desperate I began drinking alot and made some poor decisions including being unfaithful for around 4-6 weeks until I came to my senses and realised it was not even close to what I wanted or had with my partner of four and a half years. We were very close for the most part and spent most of our day in communication and together after work and on weekends. We always said we were going to be together forever. I feel a huge loss still three months on. To make matters worse.. I have been drunk texting and begging his forgiveness, abusing him for rejecting me etc (all whilst drunk) I am very ashamed and have told him so. I’m not drinking anymore as it is toxic to me, and I want to regain his trust and love. He has told me he doesn’t think he can get past it, he forgives me but can’t forget. So he has continued to care about me after a couple hospital stays and during low times, says he will always be my friend but doesn’t have romantic feelings for me anymore as the cheating killed that. That he had to kill them in order to move on. Do you have any suggestions on what I can try here to repair the tornado I have created? Would the no contact period still be useful now that the house is dealt with? He came by today to grab some last things and I still felt there was a connection there. I don’t think that can ever be lost. I just want the rship back but have gone about it all the wrong way out of sheer desperation and panic of losing him. I’d go as far as to say I’ve been acting erratic and crazy! I’m so hurt I had no control at the time. I initiated the split! Told him I wasn’t in love with him anymore. But really I was starting to pursue something with someone else to fill a void. Big mistake and I’m loving with such regret. Can you advise whether you think this could be salvageable? Thankyou I would so appreciate any advice you could give, based on your research and experience…

Anna

August 15, 2015 at 4:44 pm

*I should add the cheating was a few years ago and almost a year before starting a family*
Anna

August 15, 2015 at 4:40 pm

This situation is very similar to mine -minus the alcohol- so I can’t totally relate to how you are feeling so I’d like to follow this post for an replies that get given and also add some of what I’m going through. The slight difference in my situation is we get back together and was on a really good path started fresh – although I know the hurt was still their for him and I appreciated it will a time for my to the trust build back up for him and I am very patient for this – all was looking good and we have started a family together it’s something that we had discussed and I left it up to him to call the when as he knew I wanted one and was ready and willing to wait so left it with him and the a while late he wanted to go ahead and start a family (so no pressure from me just for him to know that’s what I wanted so that if he didn’t then we could go out seperate ways at that point) anyhow our baby is here and everything again was seemingly great – we had been having a few arguments but I’d put that towards new parenthood sleep deprivation and work stress(his) and now he has decided he no longer wants to be together I am heartbroken and I know I was in the wrong to cheat in the first place I just feel so broken lost and empty without him he wants me and baby to move out and I just don’t know if there is any future?! For me it’s all I want ive tried to explain to him about how sorry I am about what happened and I know I can’t take it back but i was working during our relationship to show him that I am not that horrible person I became when I cheated (I was in a very bad place mentally and as a result made the worst choices of my life by cheating) I knew I had to take a lot of his anger I the chin so to speak because it’s part of allowing him to heal. He’s telling me he’s not happy and he won’t just pretend to be for the sake of the baby, the hard thing is this has come out of the blue even though he says it hasn’t it’s only came about after the loss of a family member recently that to me seems like a trigger for these emotions and him wanting to separate, he’s almost acting like it’s only just happened with is why I just don’t know if he really knows what he’s wanting but is just reacting without thinking yet he says this isn’t the case but I can see from the chance in texts and his attitude that it did all come out after the family loss. Well I supposed question is do you think there is a chance that he will change his mind and want to be a family again? At the moment he’s acting hot and cold, extremely angry and nasty towards me if I try to talk to him about any of this, then he will have days where he is fine normal and chatty if he just comes to me so because we are still living together it’s creating a lot of anxiety in me as I’m walking on eggshells all the time. I get the impression there is absolutely no future as he see’s it because he literally has no respect for me and to me if you have no respect for someone then it’s pretty bleak but could this just be he’s feelings now and that this may change once we are fully apart or just a case of he will only be more relieved once we are gone?!

Ridhima

July 3, 2015 at 4:13 am

I have a different problem. I don’t know whether my ex have a new girlfriend or not. Actually what happen in my case i dated him for 2 months. At the end we had many fights. His friend told me that he take me for granted. He don’t pick my calls intentinally. So i broke up. He talk with other girls. That is killing me. I realized my mistake i would have discuss and sort everything but i directly said for breakup. He is not giving me second chance. And i think that he also wanted breakup. But i really need him back. I want him to come back in my life. I tried my best to make him back. I said sorry. I begged him. He did’t listened to any. He is very arrogant. And i know he won’t come back. But i need him 🙁

Chris Seiter

July 9, 2015 at 12:13 am

Do you have any mutual friends you can ask to find out if he is dating someone new?

Asia

June 28, 2015 at 3:29 pm

Hi I have a problem. Me and my husband are in a LDR and sometimes he gets mad and idk why or how. When we speak he either replies nun , k, or a period. I’ve tried to calm him n text him sweet messages sometimes, or sometimes I think he needs space so I leave and let him have time to his self or when I feel that we will start an argument or when I think he is getting more angry . If I try to “hug” him he says dnt touch me or look in my eyes. I tell him it’s gonna be okay n if I was there I’d give u a nice massage. Nothing is working and I feel like I am not a good wife because I can not make him happy again n sometimes I say another women is better than me. I really need help. On good days we r laughing n playing online games together just anything tht is happy. Keeping in mind tht I’m in a LDR can u help me.
Frances

June 24, 2015 at 2:38 pm

Hey Chris,
I was wondering if you can help, my boyfriend and I broke up in February due to me lying to him about things from my past and not being completely honest to him about some of my actions in the relationship as well. We broke up on a Monday and he showed up at my house drunk on Thursday saying how he missed me, we ended up talking and getting back together and I would say we rushed back into the things. Then we broke up again the end of May he said he just couldn’t do it anymore due to the fact he would never be able to trust me again. That was on a Sunday and once again on Thursday he texts me asking me to come over due to a death in his family and he needed some comfort. And once again we end up talking about us but this time we decided to take things slow. We decided on only seeing each other once a week and slowly moving back into things but my question to you is what can I do to help him trust me again? I’m willing to do just about anything. So please get back to me ASAP and any questions you have to help better understand the situation I’m willing to answer.

Chermaine

July 13, 2015 at 3:18 am

This sounds more like what I’m expericing

Kristi

June 24, 2015 at 8:07 am

Hi Chris….
My name is Kristi. I have several issues, but I want to focus on the one with the person I have loved for a couple of years. I understand nobody is perfect, and I am far from being perfect.

I am a happily divorced mother with 2 daughters (He accepted everything, without ever knowing my daughters). I was with this person for 2 years and we did everything together including work. Ok he is very needy and has temper, but I loved the things we did together like go camping, visit family, and many other things. When we broke up he told me he was planning to marry me. Well, yes, I love the feeling of being married, but I did cheat on him, and regret this very much. I want to have the connection we had before, but I did do wrong. Now for the story:

I met this person more than 2 years ago, and we build a fulfilling and happy life together. I was able to save money, and we worked together to deal with each others problems. I had more than most, but everyone has baggage. We were able to help fully furnish the home we shared, while saving money so I could return to UAE to fight for custody of my children. I returned to UAE and prepared everything I could to go to court for my children. After I was more than 7000 miles away in a city outside of Dubai for 4 months having limited support and connection to people. I was able to begin seeing my children for 3 hours per week, and I felt a little is better than none. I began making friends, and they enjoyed going to clubs and dancing. Since we had this similar interest, I began getting numbers from several people every night. Then after some time I began hooking up with them outside. Things grew to the point I needed that human connection, and even though I spoke to my boyfriend, this was not enough. So I ended up going outside my relationship, and I knew it was wrong. I tried to hide it, but we shared everything even passwords. Since we shared everything, he found out I cheated.

Then he was back and forth about the relationship, and eventually said it is over since I was so busy working here 5 days a week 14 hours a day, then I took the weekend to have fun and enjoy. Since this fun is the only thing that kept me moving forward while I am here inside UAE. I am unsure about the amount of time I will need to remain here, but still plan to go back to my country in the end.

Please help me to figure out what I need to do to fix the relationship because I do love him.

Thank You
Kristi

Chris Seiter

July 9, 2015 at 12:40 am

You mentioned that you cheated on him.

How far did the cheating go?

anju maharjan

June 23, 2015 at 3:10 am

I am married women and I have one boyfriend who loves me very much but now he don’t want be with me because I had contact with my husband also with out inform my boyfriend he was very hurt now and he don’t want keep relation with me. yes I had cheated on him but I love him truly I did mistake many times and he forgive me many time but now he said he cannot forgive me because he give me many time excused. I don’t want to lose him please help me how can I get back him? And today he will go out of country for his business and he said he will not contact with me. But the biggest think that he want to help me for my future and he will pay for my education without our relation. please help me and suggest me what was the good way for me.
Lexie

June 22, 2015 at 5:54 pm

I had a boyfriend. He was perfect and he was probably the man of my life. He was loving, funny, sexy and was crazy about me. We always talked about how we were each others love for life. We had an amazing relationship I was crazy about him until one day, I went to a party and got ridiculously drunk to the point that I couldn’t remember anything. Word says that I cheated on him in front of everyone but I cant remember a single thing. When I told him about this he reacted calmly but I could se the pain in his eyes. I cannot believe I did this to him and now I have lost him. I haven’t stopped crying and haven eaten in two days. I don’t know what I would do without him I need to have him back. Please help

Chris Seiter

July 16, 2015 at 6:17 pm

Well, have you followed the advice on version 2.0 of this article?

Rebecca

June 20, 2015 at 9:25 pm

i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We fight and break up from time to time. we had a serious breakup and i went to a party that day and i kissed somebody. we are getting back together but should i confront him about this? i didnt cheat but it will crush him and i feel guilty. should i tell him?
Annie

June 15, 2015 at 2:07 am

Hi Chris,

Thanks for taking the time to write these and to help people out in the comments. I’m wondering if you have any suggestions for what to do in my situation. I developed depression and anxiety during our relationship due to external factors, and slowly that caused a lot of toxicity in our relationship, mostly from me being irritable, anxious or upset. However, since we broke up and I’ve implemented the 30 days NC, I’ve received extensive therapy and confronted the problems I was facing and I am no longer diagnosable with any mental illness. Thus, if we were to date again we would technically be very compatible (we were already great when I wasn’t severely depressed or anxious).

Do you think I should mention this during our first texting conversation if he asks how I’ve been? Something like: “I’ve been great — I’m not longer diagnosable with any illness!” or do you think I should still play it cool. You mention that actions speak louder than words, but he knows that I never showed depression/anxiety/irritability to most people, so he may think he is just one of those people now, which is why I’m wondering if I should state it explicitly. (Note: I didn’t cheat on him, I just thought this page fit in that it’s about gaining back trust, and seeing that things are different).

Thanks!
Annie
Ama

June 14, 2015 at 5:55 pm

I’ve messed everything up. I had everything, and I destroyed it. I don’t mean to sound melodramic, but tht’s how things seem to me. So: in October 2014, I had a steady boyfriend. He was still crazy about me, but I just didn’t feel the same anymore. I had told hm this. At the same time, my (male) best friend started to act really weird by text. In real life he was just like before, though. He said stuff like how pretty I was, started calling me “princess”, mentionned some books he had my brother might like that I could collect from his place one day (he could very well have just brought them to college, but neither of us suggested that). I had always felt some kind of…. bond between us (I don’t mean to sound soppy) , but had never acted on it. At this point, though, I was definitly feeling more than friendship for him.
We admitted this love to each other one day, still by text. However, I was still with this other lad, and this best friend knew it. He didn’t pressure me to break up with him, they were friends too, and he knew it would be hard on him.
Four days after the revelation, I went to see my boyfriend. I slept with him. I didn’t really want to, but he persuaded me. That evening, back home, I was texted th other guy again. He asked me nicely how it had gone, what we had done. I was kinda messed up, ‘cos I felt I had been almost….. used, so I told him what had happened.
WORST IDEA OF MY LIFE.
This is long enough already. So I’ll just say I left the bf about month later (too long after…) and got together with t’other one about two months after that (that was just for show. Secretly, we were together straight away. ) . Since we’re together, he forbids me to speak or even walk past this ex. Stupidly, I answered his texts for a while: new bf found out, and not happy. Obviously. I’m such a bitch.
Anyway, I’ve stopped talking to him for good. But so often, I have to go past him, or I go to the library when he’s there, or something. Every time soething like this happens, bf gets mad with me for 1-3 days. This time, he’s dumped me, “‘cos I cheated on him, didn’t listen to his pleas to avoid him, talked to him, have done so much shit”. He’s done this a few times….. but now he wants his stuff back, which speaks of finality.
I feel I cheated on both of them. Everyone tells me I didn’t, but frankly I don’t care for anyone’s opinion but his. No-one will have time to read all this, but please, please do. This story means the world to me, I so badly want him back, and the NC thing would make him soooo angry with me.

Samantha Nieto

July 25, 2015 at 1:24 am

This sounds similar to my situation. Hope you are finding peace.

Taylor

June 11, 2015 at 3:23 am

i was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we had a baby. all was well until he went through my phone and saw text messages from my ex. my ex would say things like ” i hope you are well, love ya” and “i’m proud of you”. i would reply “thanks, i’m proud of you as well” and “i hope you are well”. my boyfriend accused me of cheating even though i had not seen my ex for over 3 years. my boyfriend broke up with me and it hurts that i see him constantly because of our baby. i just want my family back together and i love him. what to do?
andrea

June 10, 2015 at 5:08 am

Chris, Thanks in advance for taking the time to read my story
Me and my boyfriend have only been dating for 9 months-and its been long distance (I know what your thinking but wait!)-
Even though its long distance no one ever has put in as much effort nor has cared and loved me like he has. We see each other every four weeks and he is amazing, I have no complaints. I am planning to move in with him at the end of the month my flight is booked, my apartment is rented and I chose the wrong time to tell him I cheated on him a while back when we first started dating. I know your probably thinking oh it was when you first began dating etc etc. but our bond is crazy, he’s my best friend and all I’ve ever wanted but I had bad habits before him of drinking and promiscuity. I met up with a friend for drinks and I don’t know what got into me, its like i completely forgot I had a boyfriend and I cheated on him. I felt horrible the next day and couldn’t comprehend how i could allow myself to do this. I still cant believe it. Im suppose to move in with him in less than 3 weeks-to another state!-so much for the 30 day rule…Im really at a lost. I love him deeply and I hate myself for doing this to him. I wish that he would understand that I didn’t do this because i lack anything from him I just think i lost myself in the alcohol. I had my freedom for years so thats not what i want. Heartbreak after heartbreak chasing the wrong men and when I finally meet the right guy i blew it!!! I really don’t know what to do i sort of wish i never told him but it was eating me up inside. Please help, i feel so lost…
Lauren Taylor

June 9, 2015 at 2:19 am

Hi, so I was causally dating this guy for a couple months, it wasn’t official but we werent seeing anyone else. For starters he was a really nice guy but just didn’t dedicate the time towards me I felt I needed and I talked to him about it a couple times and he reassured me he was just busy, but it was frustrating. Anyway, one weekend he wouldn’t go to this concert with me and I got upset so after the concert I went with my friends to this guys house (who I used to hook up with) and long story short I got drunk and hooked up with him. Unfortunately the guy I hooked up with was my now(ex’s) brothers best friend. My ex now won’t talk to me and seems to really hate me but I want him back and would never have done it sober. What should I do?
Bill

June 8, 2015 at 5:01 pm

Men- Most men will cheat because all they think about is sex.
Women- Most women will cheat because their emotional needs aren’t met.

So either way it’s the man’s fault? That statement is complete BS.
Aimee

June 7, 2015 at 10:41 pm

My boyfriend of almost 3 years caught me cheating when he decided to look through my messages after a night of partying together. There had been a lot of tension between us leading up to when he actually caught me. He had cheated on me in the past with an ex, and I didn’t break up with him because I loved him and still do,. Anyway, I was seeing my boss behind his back for about a month. I had never ever cheated on anyone in my entire life, and I think I may have justified it to myself because he did it to me before My boyfriend was/is devastated, but he doesn’t want to break up with me. He says he still loves me and wants to try and overcome this together. I can see the hurt in his eyes and I know the things he must imagine in his mind. He is so angry and so hurt that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He doesn’t want to go to work, he sleeps all the time, and he is always sad. He has nightmares of me sleeping with my boss and wakes up in tears. Am I hurting him more by staying with him? He made me quit my job because he doesn’t want me to have any contact with my boss (understandable), and now things are starting to unravel. What should I do?

Sean Higgins

December 7, 2015 at 5:37 am

“Am I hurting him more by staying with him?” YES, you are. It is both disrupting each other’s jobs. His health seems to be going down hill. Sometimes to love someone so much, the ultimate proof is to leave them.

Phyy

June 7, 2015 at 3:09 pm

Hello Chris,

Feels like I am experiencing the worst part of my life now. My boyfriend and i have been dating for 1 and half years and even lived together. We had a misunderstanding about him being friends with another girl, and i traveled the following week. I had sex with a guy once for the one month i was away. I realized my mistake, cut off communication with the guy and moved on with my boyfriend. Not knowing, he had seen my previous chats i had with the guy and kept over it for almost a year. He has now asked me about it after almost a year; and i told him the truth and he broke up with me. Sadly, i didnt see this website earlier so i have begged and cried to him but he is still not ready to be with me. What should I do? I REALLY WANT HIM BACK! Thanks.
Jessica

June 7, 2015 at 2:49 pm

In my case, the person I cheated on is not my ex. He’s still my boyfriend. I cheated on him with a neighbor. It was actually a 2-year affair. I realized though that my boyfriend is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’m torn between telling him the truth or keeping it to myself, if I should break up with him or live with the guilt. I ended things with my neighbor but seeing him almost everyday makes me feel guilty and reminds me of what I have done wrong. What do you think I should do?

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1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”