How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Emma

September 18, 2015 at 12:41 pm

My boyfriend and I live about an hour or so away. For our two month anniversary (the 16th), I had been preparing to visit him and surprise him, so I had bought some tickets late the previous night. We had been communicating over Skype, due to paid texting. I’m not sure whether it was him or one of his buddies, but one of them hacked into my account that night. A good friend of mine, who has a girlfriend may I add, is a very flirty guy, and I had warned him about it since I had a boyfriend. Over the years, we’ve made many dirty inside jokes. Whoever hacked into my account read the messages, and told him about them. I understand that it looks like I was cheating on him, but I love him with all my heart… Now this is where things get complicated. He broke up with me on our anniversary day, and I spent it crying nearly all day trying to talk to him about what happened. He wouldn’t let me tell him what happened. I made the rookie mistake and essentially begged him to give me a second chance. That night, he called me and told me that he would give me a chance and I would be his again. The next day comes along and I try to give him his space, but he gets mad at me for only talking to him if he messages me first. That night, he told me that he didn’t want to break my heart, and then told me that he was dating someone else. I spent two nights in a row crying because of him. It’s a strange situation, but what is your advice for this type of thing? I want him back, but I don’t at the same time… Help?
Nikita

September 17, 2015 at 6:35 am

I was with this guy for about 3 weeks only but he has been flirting and giving me signs during the last 2-3 months. After 3 weeks since our first kiss, i kissed another guy and flirted with this new guy in front of him. My “boyfriend” is hurt really badly becuase he wanted me for a serious relationship and i broke his trust. He doesn’t want me back for now and i talked to him and told him that i still have feelings for him and that i made a huge mistake and would like to start over. What should i do? Should i give time and ask him again? How can i build back the trust?

Thank you
Leah

September 14, 2015 at 7:33 pm

I messed up so badly. I cheated on my boyfriend of over a year twice. He went through my phone and thats how he found out. I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost without him. He broke it off yesterday (when he found out). Everyone keeps saying that if I loved him it wouldn’t have happened but I do love him and I can’t imagine my life without him. I need some help desperately .
maggie

September 11, 2015 at 5:56 pm

The thing is i didnt cheat he just thinks i did i went out to apple bees with a guy friend and didnt tell my boyfriend about it. He went through my phone while i was asleep in our bed and woke me up screamint at me to get. That i cheated on him and would not let me explain and he hasnt spoken to me in a mounth but i have sent him texts and tried to call him so should i start the 30 days now?

Jolanta

September 14, 2015 at 11:23 pm

Hi Chris,

I have gone through your website and have read some of the people’s issues re: cheating and your replies.

My situation… I started dating my boyfriend in mid April this year. We met when we were at rock bottom but connected instantly and from a very depressed state we were both in turned our situations around tremendously with lots of laughs and fun times. We have so much in common. Born on the same day he is one year younger than me. We are in our mid 40’s and both have sons who are toddlers who we had with our ex’s. (my ex husband and his ex partner).

As much as we were having a great time getting to know each other, I found him to be still struggling with his depression and hence a lack of motivation unlike me who was all get up and go!

Our sex life was not great because he is not in shape. That caused frustration.

On a few occasions when we went out to the pub and played some pool and had a few drinks I would end up (not always) but a lot of the time vent my frustrations on him re: what he wants to do with his life? …this caused some tension between us and we had to make up the next day.

One night however, when I was very intoxicated we had an argument and I decided to ring my ex (not my ex husband) but my most recent ex who is still in love with me and we had a very fulfilling sex life. I ended that relationship because there were too many differences between us and sex for me was not enough!

Anyway, that night I ended up at his place… and continued to drink and fell asleep in his bed.

The next morning I was in his trackie dacks and assumed that something had happened.

I left as soon as I woke up and my boyfriend who I am trying to get back (referred to above) picked me up from home and we ended up heading to a friends place down the coast for the weekend as we had planned.

We talked about what happened I naturally assumed that I had sex with my ex because I was in his bed and not in my clothes.
My ex called that night and I had him on loud speaker and my boyfriend heard him…and I allowed this call to happen and my ex talked about the sex we had… my ex (the one I visited that night) by the way, is a compulsive liar and likes to stir things up if he does not get his own way.

So, weekend was ok we argued, talked through things … and basically I thought we had worked through it and I was out of the woods. However, by the end of the weekend instead and as we arrived back in Melbourne my boyfriend decided to go home instead of staying at mine.

This all happened in mid August, since then my ex has gone into a clinic to treat his depression. During this past few weeks my ex (the one I visited) called me threatening me that if I don’t call him there would be repercussions so I did.

We talked briefly and I apologised for coming over that night and that this would never happen again. During this call, my ex said “and for the record, we did not have sex you were comatosed, I just said that because I knew your partner was on loud speaker and I wanted to stir him up”

Immediately I found this out I called my boyfriend who was and still is at the clinic to tell him of this.

Since then we have seen eachother only once and there have been a few texts exchanged. One minute he does not believe me and only last weekend there was a hint that he did as he wanted to catch up over night …but due to him having to go back to the clinic we didn’t.

I was at the clinic yesterday for my own personal reasons and saw him in the canteen and did not make an effort to talk to him based on his last text to me last Friday that contact from me is interrupting his recovery and to stop contacting him whilst he is in there…which mind you, has not been frequent or overbearing in anyway.

He is due out this coming Friday and it’s both our birthdays. He said in that last text that he would text me on my birthday and that is all.

What should I do? If he texts, do I reply? not reply, leave him be, do the 30 days no contact? No idea?

If you please share your thoughts with me I would be very appreciative.

Kind regards,

Jolanta

N

September 8, 2015 at 5:33 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of over 7 years with a guy who used to like me at my previous job back when we first started dating. He had told me many times not to talk to him because he didn’t want me to do anything stupid, and I did stop but on occasion would start talking to him again. I cheated on him 5 times with this same guy, even after he had proposed to me. I never slept with the guy, all we did was mess around. About 3 months ago a friend of ours told him and when he came to me I lied trying to make it seem not as bad as I didn’t want to hurt him. And I just kept adding more each time till I finally got the entire truth out, I know that didn’t help my case lying about it so much, but I was scared to hurt him even more. We have a 5 year old daughter together and another one on the way. We fought a little after he first found out, and about a month later I went to stay with his parents and he came out to see me one time and we were going to take a break and then try again, then after he left he got all upset and mad again and changed his mind saying he didn’t want to get back together, then about a week later from then he came out again and we made up and got back together and he asked me to come back to the house because he wanted to make it work, and about a month later we were still living together but not technically together and haven’t been since, and he just now technically kicked me out and I don’t know what to do. I want him and I want to make things work but he keeps saying it won’t happen, but I love him so much and don’t know what to do anymore, please HELP!!!

N

October 20, 2015 at 3:15 pm

Yeah I understand. Yeah on my part it did a couple of times.
Now we are at the point where he has said we can try and work on it but he he reminds me daily about what I have done, and I have been playing on his phone and opened a couple of apps where he is talking/flirting with other girls, so idk what I am suppose to do
N

October 2, 2015 at 9:09 pm

Everything besides sex. It started out as making out the first time then progressed but it never got to sex.
No matter how many times I tell him I never slept with him he still doesn’t believe me and I don’t know what to do.
Chris Seiter

October 6, 2015 at 4:18 am

Hmm…

I mean, you can understand why he is a little suspicious and not trusting you.

Question, did it ever get to third base?

This is important because it’s an easier sell if it’s just making out as opposed to… “more.”
Chris Seiter

October 2, 2015 at 5:09 pm

Define “mess around” for me.

Making out?

Kimberly Gomez

September 8, 2015 at 5:32 pm

I been with my boyfriend for 8 months. We started dating on December 12 but, I we never hanged out or talked and i cheated on him by having sex with another guy he found out I was cheating and I rejected it, on New Years we got back together and started new he didn’t know I cheated on him because I lied but we been together for 8 months. A few months later I told him I cheated on him he accepted it then months after I lied to him how but I decided to tell him the truth months later. On Thursday September 3 I told him I had sex with a guy that’s how I cheated on him. He said it was over officially. But I cried and begged for him back. On Saturday he came over and I went over Sunday. We hug and kiss. I tell my that I will get help and wait for him. We text like friends but it’s different when we’re together. And he says he doesn’t know if we will get together again. I read I have to not talk to him for 30 days nor apologize but I have done that already my question is did I mess it up? Do I still have a chance to get h back? And how can I get his trust back and show and prove to him I don’t lie anymore?
Mary

September 6, 2015 at 11:43 pm

I am an 18 year old woman. I cheated on my boyfriend with a cooworker. even thought we only had been dating for 5 months I am completely sure he is not just another boy. I read the article but I am too scared to try and not talk to him for 30 days! What if he doesn’t want me back. Please I would really like to tell you my full story and give me your advice ASAP! Thank you!

Chris Seiter

September 12, 2015 at 1:49 am

How far did the cheating go?

Are we talking just a kiss or more?

Victoria

August 31, 2015 at 1:59 pm

Hi Chris,
I feel so dirty and like an absolute hoe! I have been with my boyfriend for years. We have a daughter who will be two in a few months. I felt unappreciated for taking care of him as he stayed at home with our daughter while I worked. I not only work 50-60 hours per week but I have to cook and clean up after him when I get home and not with minimal lip. He would call me stupid and an idiot for ever voicing my opinions. So, similar to what you said, I sought out someone who highly respected my thoughts and opinions. My ex.

Although I haven’t had any physical contact with him, I planned to leave my boyfriend and then have sexual encounters with my ex. Which really makes it no better. My boyfriend saw some messages I didn’t delete and is fuming, then extremely sad and feels betrayed. He said he will never forget as I won’t either. I’ve never seen him cry until now and even now he said he cried all day while I was at work yesterday. He even said he thought i was his soulmate. I never knew he felt that way! When he first found out he completely shattered his phone (It looks like a car ran it over) I slept two hours that night in totality because we were up talking about it and he was asking me why and now I am at a loss for words, I can’t tell him every detail, so I will try to write it all down.

He feels like he isn’t good enough in bed or in general. I want to try it the 30 day no contact rule but we have a daughter and we don’t want his family to know what we’re going through. Should we set up a schedule and not speak when dropping off and picking up?

Chris Seiter

September 2, 2015 at 3:36 am

Well, from what I can tell an actual breakup hasn’t occurred yet, right?

I am thinking you can just talk him out of this.

Tell him you will never talk to your ex again EVER. That might buy you some times.

Janny

August 31, 2015 at 2:18 am

I’m not sure where to start. I was so good to my bf. However before I be with my bf I met a guy who is good I slept with him then he went away for study, he come back and I think he will be good for me but he said he is not ready for a relationship after that we didn’t talk for a few month and he come back again and same thing happened I hate what I did. I never start first but I can’t resist him and I even did it when I have my bf but my bf and me never have sex but we been together. My bf found out from text , I don’t know how but I don’t think I want to ask because it’s really be and all are my fault. The day he found out I knew something wrong and he just said nothing so I’m out to be with my friend. At the end I don’t even know that he know so I felt he is unreasonable and plan to stay away from him a few day so while I come back to get some of my clothes he ask why i did that , stop to lie and tell him what going on and he saw all the things. I felt so bad not because he found out it’s because I hurt him. He is so good to me. He said still love me and always do. He ask if I want to be with him or another guy. I felt so bad that I hurt a person who love me so much. I really feel bad about myself. I always cry about I hurt him but he do everything the same like nothing happen.
Tess

August 22, 2015 at 2:09 am

Hi Chris,
I’m sure you know what brought me to this page. I am taking all your advice into consideration. I don’t want to lose my man because of this and even though he can barley even look at me anymore… I am so scared to lose him. He wants space and it’s really hard because we live together in the same bedroom but I am going to try the 30 day commitment and I would really like to know… Do you think it will work? I mean like does it usually work? I can’t lose the one person that made me happy…

Chris Seiter

August 25, 2015 at 6:55 pm

Yes I think it will work.

ties

August 19, 2015 at 9:56 am

Hello,

I did fight for a guy for like 2 years and he is the most important thing that ever happend to me, He falled in love with me like a moth or two ago. And i finily got my boy, But a day after he told me he wanted to try to be in a relationship with me i sextexted with another boy for like 1 day en me and that boy regretted it almost immediately. I wanted to tel my boy friend/lover but i was scared so i didnt do it ( i dont even know why i texted with that other boy i didn’t even liked it and it was nothing more than one text. i gueass i was for attention) like three days ago my boyfriend/lover thought by himsellf that he realy liked me etc, but he was currious and want to know things befor he started the realtionship and he logged in to my facebook. And he saw the text with that boy. I explaind everiting and we fight and we hugged and we cried. He didnt knew what to do he didnt wanted to lose me an i dindnt wanted to lose him beceause he is the most imortant thing that ever happend to me in my life. Yesterday he said he wantend to end what could be an relationship. even how much he still loves me and i love him. I hate myselff for doing what i did. I lost the most imoportend thing in my life where i fighted for like 2 years and i fucked it up with one text. I cant forgive mysellf i dont know what to do.. I am sorry for the bad english (i am from holland). I am desspred and i would do everything to get the love of my life back. we both maked mistakes and mine was the most baddest thing that happend. I dont know what to do annymore..

Thanks..

I Hope to hear from you
lost my love

August 13, 2015 at 8:12 am

Hi Chris.. Well I feel like the world is caving in on me pls I can’t lose him …even tho he calls me all this name I know he’s hurting ..I did for all the wrong reason dam me this sucks help me some one out their …the last time we talked he told me you can’t fix nothing the dameg is done I won’t be able to for get am always mad am not happy ur bad news …I fell so bad all the time I don’t want to eat I’ll I want to do is sleep am just not doing good at all ..my friend tell me not to be so hard on my self but why not if I was going out with other men idk sometimes I even talk to my self and I ask my self why why I can’t get any questions but I did do it for all the wrong reasons that’s for sure……

Chris Seiter

August 13, 2015 at 6:23 pm

What have you tried to get him back so far? Have you read the article on no contact? https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/the-no-contact-rule/

lost my love

August 13, 2015 at 8:00 am

Hello I cheated on my boyfriend of 10 years I know what I did was wrong …I love him so much but he says if you loved me that much u wouldn’t do things like that ..see the thing here is that I never slept with other man I only wen out with this guys yes not only one but 2 but he talked to one and that one told him we had sex never happen so know he really thinks I did is just all bad to the point that he just told me he don’t love me no more..this has been going on for almost a year ..I tell sorry all the time I show him am sorry I let him know is he who Iwant..he tells me f**” off go with this guy ..what can I do ?am really in love with him should I cuz move on idk what to do …sometimes I just want to just say fine an done but I don’t want to give up
Zozo

August 2, 2015 at 9:04 am

Dear Chris,

I am desperate! I cheated on my ex boyfriend of 2.5 years because I was unhappy in my relationship and now that I’ve lost him I realise how important he is to me and regret it every breathing moment!

I have been rubbish and not been doing no contact rule. He texted on day 1 post break up and I have been replying and picking up his phone calls up until day 11. I confess to also being extremely desperate, begging for him back.

I stupidly went to a birthday where the guy I cheated with was there and my ex boyfriend called, blew up and said he was about to take me back, but now I’ve ruined it! That night he went out and got drunk but was texting me “I still love you”, “I miss you and want to see you”. He has not contacted me since.

Now I swear I will do the no contact rule but my question is how long do I do it for starting on day 11? Do you think he is playing mind games with me?

Thanks so much, I have read every single article I am an emotional wreck! You are my inner peace!

lost my love

August 13, 2015 at 8:16 am

Its just so hard not to answer their calls or text ..bcuz we now we did wrong so we feel like we need to or else they might think shesout their with that other man .

quinn spikes

July 28, 2015 at 1:17 am

I cheated on my boyfriend with his bestfriend and I never felt so horrible and disgusted in my life. I have never been this sad before and I feel like I’m losing my mind without him. I have no idea why I did such a thing to him and I cant even believe myself. I just want to hug him and say sorry I miss him so much. I dont know what I was thinking. I need your help to get him back, he was my everything and I screwed everything up for myself. Friends turned on friends and its down hill from here as of right now … I dont know what to say to him
Asha

July 26, 2015 at 5:31 pm

I really love my boy and He is my love… I still love him so much. I don’t know what I have done. One think he picks up is that about a lie that I told him. Even after that also we were in relation. Once I found that he chatted some dirty things with other girl which he didn’t share with me. If he would have told me about that things could have been better. I went straight away and asked him. He was really angry. But his chat with the other girl was before our relation. He told me that it wasn’t him. I argued a little but I have forgiven him. Things were a little bit bad before and started to get worsen. I can’t accept that he can ignore me. I told sorry to him more than a billion times!! I still love him. Even after 3 to 4 months passed by, I still love him. I still message him that I love him. He even blocked me in facebook but I message him in his phone. I think he has another girl in his life. He seems to be happy. But I have seen through another facebook account that he posts something like he is missing someone really badly.Somethings which were closely related to our relation. Our first day of love was almost before two and half years. I still love him a lot. His mom really loves me and talks with me as well. I want him back. I cry a lot for him. Please help me. I even pray a lot to get him back. Last hope is God now!!
Samantha Nieto

July 25, 2015 at 1:15 am

Hi Chris.. I am in a big situation.. a bad one. I am 22 and have been dating my boyfriend for the past 2.5 years.We met online when we were in college and we did not intend to be together this long.. it was kinda of a thing that just happened. We fell in love 🙂 However, since we met online, we have always been long distance. He went to school in Milwaukee and I went to school in Tampa. In the past 2.5 years, we have spent one summer, two Christmas breaks, and about 12 weekend trips together. Everything else was through Skype, FaceTime and phone calls. So, we decided that after graduation, that I would move up to Chicago to be with him. Then I started getting scared.. I was worried that he was going to break up with me and leave me alone, I worried that I was going to ruin everything, I was worried that I was making a mistake, I was just having a lot of anxiety. And so I took a spontaneous trip to DC with my best friend and guy friend, and when I came back I told my boyfriend that I wanted a break. On this break I slept with my best guy friend (who my boyfriend had doubts about because him and I had slept together way long ago) and I kissed another guy. I was confused and I was scared. So I told my boyfriend about the boy I kissed, with the intention of telling about the other guy that I slept with. However, when I told him about the guy I kissed, he flipped and took a couple days to think about things. Then he said I couldn’t do anything like that again, and so I didn’t.. But then one night I got really drunk with a friend and brought a COMPLETE stranger home. This was something that I hadn’t done ever. I slept with him. This was one week before I moved to Chicago and my boyfriend was in Canada. I don’t know why I did it. I don’t know. Well.. I have been in Chicago for a month, and I got found out. My boyfriend and I went on a trip to a wedding in Ohmaha, and he went through my texts. He found messages that I sent to my best guy friend about the other guy. Meaning that he found out about everything. He clearly broke up with me. Now I want him back, and I going to therapy. My therapist thinks that I have a shot because of the fact that we were long distance, and that we are so young and clearly were working toward a next step. But I don’t know if he is going to forgive, after he said I had another chance after simply kissing someone else. Is it worth the trouble to fight for him, or is he always going to be the one that got away? I have not spoken to him since we broke up and I did send him one text, that’s all. I want to change for myself to be happy, but I also want him to be there to be proud of the gains I have accomplished. I think therapy has been helping me understand what my motives were and why I was so selfish. How can I show him that I have changed?
Cameron

July 24, 2015 at 4:15 am

I recently went on a 2 week trip and ended up kissing another guy, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me. He said it was all too much as just a few weeks earlier I held hands with an ex, he says he still loves me and cares about me but he just doesn’t think we are good anymore. He also cheated on me before our one month, but I took him back. We are best friends and we broke up 2 weeks ago and i just cant let go, i originally broke up with him and spent the last 2 weeks begging him to take me back. He is a very caring and loving guy who craves companion ship. He’ll have a new girl friend in no time and i just don’t know what to do. we have talked ever day since the break up. Its really hard cause we really are best friends. I just don’t know how to get him back.
Tania

July 22, 2015 at 6:11 pm

Hi Chris,

So, I’ve had a bit of a read of your website because I think I’m still in love with my ex, and I was wondering if you could help.

I fell in love with my ex back when we were still teenagers. We got together when I was 21, moved in together, and I honestly thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. We were together 6 years and then he got a loan out without telling me, I accidentally found where he’d hidden the documents, and after a year or so of him not telling me why he took the loan out, our relationship deteriorated and I’m sad to say I slept with someone else. Our relationship ended, and we tried to stay friends, obviously after a big break.

I found out a year afterwards that he’d got the loan to buy an engagement ring. He was expecting a redundancy package at work which would have paid it all off and left us with a nest egg for our future. He didn’t tell me because the time was never right. He didn’t lie about it because I would have known he was lying. So he said nothing about the loan, and it drove me crazy. He told me about the ring long after we were finished.

We’ve stayed friends through the years and no one I’ve ever been with has come close. He’s not seeing anyone either. He is probably my best friend, I see him a few times a week, he was even the person I called 6 months ago when a guy I was seeing threw me out if his flat in the middle of the night.

It’s crazy, because we always joked about how we’re not like exes, he’s more like family to me, but over the last 2/3 months I can’t stop thinking about him, we spend a lot of time together and we’re always there for the other. He’s my closest friend and I don’t know how I’d function without him. When we argue, it’s horrible,it puts me in a bad mood for days, until we make up. I get butterflies in my stomach when I know I’m going to see him and I don’t stop smiling. I keep catching myself thinking about him, how he is, what he’s doing, how his day’s going.

But he’s my best friend. And he’s THE ex. I guess in the back of my head, deep deep down, I always thought we’d get back together. He’s the person I thought I’d have my kids with. Neither of us have any children, or any other significant relationships.

I know I love him and I think I want to be with him. We’ve been split up for 6 years now and he’s still the closest person in my life. But I don’t know if I should, if it’s what he wants, how to even go about it. I don’t want to lose him by telling him how I feel, but I can’t pretend I don’t feel it – I’ve really tried.

I’d appreciate any advice Chris. You sound like you know what you’re talking about.
alicia lema

July 21, 2015 at 9:21 pm

Hi..ive been in a 2 years relationship, i cheated on my bf at first then he forgave me but i kept contact with that other guy secretly but as a friend only this time and my bf realised it and he is mad and he thinks im cheating again and he said he cant trust me again..should i give him space and let him think or should keep on checking him…he doesn text me or call me unless i do it first, has he move on without me?plz help a girl out

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1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”