How To Get Your Boyfriend Back If YOU Cheated On Him- Advice & Help

1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

Ophe

March 8, 2016 at 7:57 pm

Hi, I have been with my boyfriend (he’s a Japanese) for 3 months. He was a married man and has a daughter. He has been talking about divorcing his wife and choosing a life with me. He even told me how he wants me to be his future wife. Things were going beautifully great. Then one day, I was talking to my boss (whom I had an affair with before I met my bf) and we ended up flirting again and I got mischievous and sent him a naked photo. I forgot about this the following days and didn’t even think to remove any evidence of that text message. But today, my boyfriend went through my phone and read everything. And told me that today will be our last day together.

I am guilty, remorseful, devastated and heartbroken at the same time. I don’t want this to be our last day, and I sent him a message that I won’t say goodbye but I suspect he has already deleted and blocked me off all channels. I have no idea what’s going to happen next, and no idea what to do. I don’t have any female friends to talk to and I absolutely do not want to confide in my male friends right now. 🙁 I do want our relationship back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 9, 2016 at 5:42 pm

HI Ophe,

Right now, are you going to do what Chris suggested above? About your current boyfriend is he still married but doesn’t live with his wife? or he’s currently with his wife, living with her but promising to you he would leave her and be with you?

Breanna Z.

March 5, 2016 at 10:04 pm

So my ex dumped my 1 time because my roommates sent photos of me and a friend hanging out on the strip. I went down there to talk and he took me back. A day or two later he sent me a message all over again saying a bunch of bad words and told me to live life without him. The first time he left, he told me he deleted everything dealing with me. Then the second time I deleted like 2 photos of him and I. When I told him cause he asked for them he flipped out and that’s when he ended it for good. He told me he lied and said he never deleted them. My issue is, he blocked me on everything. Facebook, my number, everything. After 30 days how should I get in contact with him because I still have a present I bought him the night before the first break up. Oh and I never did anything physical with my friend. My ex just refuses to believe me. Please help.. I am desperate

EBR Team Member: Amor

March 6, 2016 at 7:50 am

Hi Breanna x,
For now, your only option is to do no contact, until he unblocks you..most of the time they unblock after 2-3 weeks of silence…

JE

February 26, 2016 at 3:47 am

I cheated on my ex way at the beginning of the relationship(maybe a week into it) and he said he would forgive me for it but he broke up with me at the beginning of February after dating for 7 months and he said that the idea of me cheating on him keep popping up in his mind but I never gave any other reason for him not to trust me and I feel horrible about what I’ve done because that’s not who I am. A week after we broke up I asked if we could talk and we did and I thought we were going to work towards getting back together because he said he didn’t want to rush right back into it and I agreed to not rush. But I felt like he was being kind of distant a couple days after this talk and now I found out that he had sex with another girl and he said that he’s not about getting even but I feel like if he said he didn’t want to rush into getting into a relationship, he shouldn’t have had sex with another girl either. We recently hung out this Sunday, Monday and I stayed at his place Wednesday and it feels just like when we were dating but I still kinda feel like he’s being distant. Has he lost feelings or something? Should I keep going with how it is? I want to keep going but yet I don’t want to be strung along.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 26, 2016 at 10:23 am

Hi Je,

but how do you really feel about what he did.. if you hadn’t had a talk maybe he is wondering how you feel.. maybe he thinks you might get even with him, or maybe he’s feeling guilty.. talk about everything in a calm, perspective way

Vannessa

February 25, 2016 at 6:01 am

Today i felt like my life was going to end…. I’ve been friends with my boyfriend for almost 7 yrs we started dating a few months ago, during this time i’d still have communication with my ex. December was such a hard month for me, i struggle with depression my boyfriend and i had such a disconnect emotionally. I leaned on my ex boyfriend not knowing at this time i was pregnant, what’s leaned right? I had sex with my ex, shortly after that encounter i miscarried the baby (ectopic pregnancy) and shortly after that today I had an abnormal pap smear… Owning up to my responsibility i told my boyfriend, omg i feel like i lost my best friend. He talked to me like i was the smallest thing on earth, questioned was the child his i mean he looked like he was going to cry. I could see the pain in his eyes as he continuously told me how much he loved me, how he’d never do such a thing to me I feel terrible!!! Although all this happened he didn’t flat out dump me he told me I have a lot of making up to do. I’m like making up where do i start? What do i do? I don’t want to lose him, i know every action has a reaction and i must deal with the consequences of my actions. I put his life and our relationship in jeopardy my biggest fear is he’ll hold this over my head forever. Is it possible to recover? I know leaning on anybody won’t ever be an issue again i just need him to know that. words can’t describe how much i love him and i don’t want this one mistake to define my love.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 25, 2016 at 1:49 pm

Hi Vanessa,

Correct me of I’m wrong.. The baby is his but when you lost you leaned in your ex for support and also had sex with him?

Brittany

February 23, 2016 at 12:20 am

I could use some serious guidance. I met my husband over 3 years ago and we bonded immediately. We were on the same page completely. We worked similar schedules, and spent a lot of time together. Our plan was to get married, then he would work his job (he had just graduated to get that job) for a year and then we would start trying for children. After a year of his job he decided he wanted to switch career paths. I supported him with that. What I didn’t expect was how busy he would be with being in school again and working. Or how I would handle that emotionally. Our marriage went from being bestfriends to barely seeing eachother. But when we did hangout it was lovely. Our bond hadn’t changed. After a year of him in school I just started to feel more and more lonely. I started drinking more and going out the the bars. I wanted to start having kids and is be home together and spend time together, but if i couldn’t do that then I would at least live it up more. That was an immature mindset. I realize now I should have improved myself and found productive ways to stay busy while he was improving himself. Around 7 months ago I met a guy, and we got along great. He was good looking and similar to me in personality. I never felt a romantic connection with him, as I do for my husband. But I really enjoy the company. My husband didn’t like us being friends, but I was too busy getting drunk to be able to really respect his wishes. I always made excuses to myself. “He will be gone anyway so why shouldn’t I go out” or “well he won’t hangout with me so why wouldn’t I find someone to hangout with” again, I realize now how I handled it wrong. After aroun 6 months of being friends with this guy, my husband bought a new project car. If I thought he was busy before, I was wrong. He was now busy everyday all day. Spending his evenings and nights at a buddy’s garage working on he car. He would always invite me over but I chose not to go. I wish now I would have. Instead I just kept partying more. One night I called my husband to hangout because I was planning to be gone for three weeks, but he said he was having a guys night working on the car. So I texted a few friends to hangout because I was so lonely. The only one who responded was my guy friend. Generally we do not hangout at night alone, because it isn’t appropriate. But I was just so desperate for some company I agreed to go to his house. I lied to my husband and said I was with a girlfriend. My guy friend and I just had a few drinks and watched movies. Nothing between us happened. Around 4 days later I was at the bar instead of home with my husband sleeping(like I should have been) my guy friend asked if I wanted to leave the bar and go watch movies and drink and the house. So I agreed. Well we ended up drinking to excess and slept together. After that I went on a trip out of state. While I was gone I missed my husband deeply and decided to make changes when I got home that would improve our marriage. Well, the day I came home, I found out I was pregnant and there’s a chance it could be my guy friends. Me and my guy friend cutt of contact and I told my husband the truth. He filed for divorce 3 days later. We lived together for 2 weeks after he knew. Some days he wouldn’t speak to me or would be cold to me. Other days we would cuddle up and watch a movie. There were a few nights where we had sex. But through all of it he made it clear we were done. After two weeks he came home and told me to pack a suitcase and go stay at my friend Morgan’s until i find a place. I lost it and ended up in the hospital on suicide watch. The next day after the hospital I went to Morgan’s. I’ve been staying with her for 3 weeks. I haven’t spoken to my ex until yesterday. I didn’t text or reach out to him. I am trying to give him space. In the meantime he has deleted my photos from Facebook, deleted me from Facebook, taken down all of our wedding stuff and photos of us from our house and packed away my things, and has even started hanging out with another girl. I know all of this because every time he does something like this he tells Morgan. And the girl he is spending time with is one of her other friends. He has also been drinking almost every night, when he used to barely drink. I don’t know if he is trying to rub he fact that he is moving on in my face or not or if he is just coping this way and I’m taking it too personal. He is telling everyone that there is 0 chance of us working it out. 0 chance of him ever loving me again. Says he has already moved on. I don’t see how he can move on if I have been gone for only 3 weeks. We had some issues the last 6 months of our marriage but were still very in love with eachother and had a very affectionate relationship. Everyone is telling me to just let go and move on, but I can’t seem to do that. Afterall, he is my husband. I chose him as my life partner. And my feelings for him are very strong. I can’t just shut that off. Yesterday I was with my 4 year old niece who loves her uncle very much and vise versa. She saw his car at his work and insisted we stopped. So I put on my brave face and went in. His face lit up when he saw her and they hugged and chatted for a minute. Me and him didn’t speak much. He asked what we had planned and I told him. Then he bought her a little toy at her work and I made a joke about it. That was the extent of our conversation. When we left I reached in for a quick hug (I feel so drawn to him and couldn’t help it) I was expecting him to do a quick awkward one arm hug back. But he embraced me with both arms and we hugged eachother tight for about 10 seconds. Then I left without a word. I haven’t messaged him since then and he hasn’t messaged me. He claims to be done with me and doesn’t love me anymore, but i am desperate to fix our marriage. I have not signed the papers, so legally we are married. Please tell me anything I can do to save my marriage.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 23, 2016 at 9:10 am

Hi Brittany,

For now, the truth is, your priority is the baby.. so, although this is hard but keep yourself happy for the health of the baby..

As with your husband, he’s angry and hurt.. It’s going to be a very long road probabyly but I think the best way is to give him space for now.. to show him that you understand him and to give him time to think.. when he’s ready to talk, I think he’ll reach out.. or you’ll know it when you bump to each or see each other.. Let’s hope he won’t file for a divorce yet..

Carol

February 20, 2016 at 3:54 pm

I was in long distance relationship with a guy for a year….we were too serious for each other…den he broke up with me without explaining me the real reason behind it…..i kept on asking him den he finally told that he is doing it for his career….i asked him whether I should wait for him….he said “No..you can move on”….I told him den I’ll be in relationship with some other guy(just to make him jealous n get him back) but dint worked….after 2 months he called n said dat he wants me to wait……..But I got into some other guy till den …it all started to make my ex jealous but this guy got serious for me …..n my ex saw some intimate pictures of me with d this guy….I love my ex n want him back….what shall I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 9:43 am

Hi Carol,

You could lose both of them if your current bf knew about him but the truth is, there are cases that when the girl leaves her current bf for the ex, the ex suddenly realizes he can’t go back with her.. It’s like because he saw she was easy to get.. I’m not scaring you, I just want you to be prepared.. Make a choice.. whether to continue your relationship with your current bf or break up with him whether your ex gets back with you or not because it’s unfair to your current bf to be with him if you really don’t love him

Divya

February 18, 2016 at 9:00 pm

Hi. I really really need your help. I’m in a big mess rite nw. I’m a divorcee and my bf knws abt it. My marriage lasted for about a year. He knws every bit of my life. He was my best frnd and now my boy frnd. Unfortunately we broke up on valentines day. And I’m not able to accept his absence from my life. He loves me a lot. He feels I hv cheated on him wth my ex husband. He’s not ready to accept that I ws in a physical relationship wth my husband before getting into a relationship wth him. Off lately he strtd stalking me. Yes, I did meet my ex husband few months ago cz he wanted to meet me b4 flying off to another place. Bt my boyfrnd doesn’t undrstnd that I do not want to get bk to my ex husband bt want to b wth him forever. He’s ready to accept my past bt not wat hapnd between me n my ex husband. I really love my bf. I’m nt able to publicly accept him as my bf bcz mine ws a love marriage. I tried my best to mk him understand his value in my life but now I have failed completely. The last thing he told me was “everything’s over”. I Don wanna lose him. Please help me out

Divya

February 21, 2016 at 8:37 am

Ok 🙁 I’ll try that. Thank you so much for ur help. 🙂
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 2:48 pm

Okay.. you’re welcome.. Be strong..you can do this!
Divya

February 20, 2016 at 1:10 pm

I need not prove him because he stalked me and he knows every txt that I sent my husband. He is not angry cz I was in touch wth my husband after d divorce. He is angry only because I slpt wth him during our marriage. I do not know how to convince him now. We are not in contact wth each other past a week. I really miss him. How do I make him com bk to me. We have a mutual gang of frnds. We meet on every Sundays. They are planning to meet tom. I am not feeling gud to go as he would b Thr too. I’m hurt cz he has accused me for sumthing that’s nt wrong. And moreover on d day of Thr fight he told me that we shud act normal in front of every1. I cannot b normal wen al this has hapnd between me n my bf.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 21, 2016 at 5:43 am

exactly.. He’s accusing you something that is not wrong.. You can’t convince a person who has twisted sense of right and wrong.. And you will not really convince him of you’re going to act in his wishes..

For me, you should leave him.. If you’re not emotionally strong enough, you will end up being his victim.. He’s probably doing this because he knows that he can control you.. And he also probably doesn’t want your friends to know because he knows his reason is wrong. He know how people will react..

There’s a way but you can lose him if you did this. Be firm on what you know is right, don’t follow his lead, don’t go to that party and of they ask, tell them you’re not in good terms with him but you don’t have to tell why and move on and show it.He’ll be angry but he’ll see he can’t control you.. Don’t answer him when he contacts you after that.. Although, I know you’re not really going to move on but if he sees that confidence and strong will and your improvement, he may bend but if he doesn’t be thankful.. That just means I am right about him.
Divya

February 19, 2016 at 11:18 pm

I slpt wth my husband before the divorce. After the divorce I just met him once because he was flying to a place permanently. He just wanted to meet me fr one last time. Bt he use to txt me once in a while. My bf stalked me and got to know that I was txtng him. And he is upset that I slpt wthy husband evn b4 d divorce. I know his point of anger is not valid bt he’s not ready to understand that. Love marriage in d sense I was dating my husband for 8 years and then we got married. Due to few misunderstandings and d sudden changes he tried to bring in my life made us depart ways. My present bf hated and still hates my husband. My bf loves me a lot, no doubt about it bt he behaves like a psyco (sometimes).. I cn really bare al that he does. But some times few things that he does really goes out of hands and we tend to have a very bad fight. I really want to announce about my relationship wth my bf. I do not HV d courage to do it bcz I fought a lot for my husband cz my family was totally against d wedding. They r happy cz I gt a divorce. Since I already fought for one guy everywer, I do not have d guts to tl any1 that I have a bf. I’m feeling really difficult cz I’m worried about what ppl would think about me including my family.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 9:39 am

Ah ok.. I understand now.. but the thing is, you can’t control what your bf thinks.. the only thing you can do is show a proof and then it’s up to him to decide if he believes you or not because if it’s clear that it’s not your fault, then you have to stop being the victim and be firm on yiur stand..
In regards to your family.. well do it slowly.. Are they going to shun you or disown you if you have a new bf now?

We have to have a hard shell in life because people will always have opinions, you can only listen to those who would really affect your way of life…
Divya

February 19, 2016 at 11:26 am

I slpt with my husband before d divorce. But my b fis upset cz I slpt wth him. My bf stalked me. My bf and I were best frnds b4 d wedding.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 11:38 am

sorry divya, bear with me because I’m not sure if I’m understanding it right.. when you slept with yiur ex husband, you’re still married but on the road to getting a divorce and you’re also in a relationship with your xbf now?

Or you were still husband and wife and you weren’t in a relationahip yet with ur latest xbf?

Because if it’s the latter, he has no right to be jealous… also what do you mean by love marriage? If you’re already divorced, isn’t it ok to announce that you have a new bf?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 9:45 am

Hi Divya,

Sorry I dodn’t understand.. you slept with your husband after you separated and before you and your current were together? And who stalked who?

nina

February 18, 2016 at 7:25 pm

am scared what if he never realises. In his eyes iam just a cheater now. Could you give me tips on ways to make him realise without communicating? Should I block his number and Facebook or will that piss him off?

nina

February 20, 2016 at 11:00 am

What about blocking him? Will that piss him off? You have no idea how much your helps means yo me. Thank you darling. I just want him to realise his mistakes.
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 12:07 pm

aww.. I really hope I can help more.. better not block him of it makes the situation worse
nina

February 20, 2016 at 1:49 am

He is a very short tempered guy and he just messages saying iam a cheater and calls me really bad names. Iam kinda scared of him now. What would be the best way to cool him down. He is not ready to realise his faults. If I Blok him on fb and my phone will that make him mire angry or help?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 20, 2016 at 10:24 am

If that’s the case just stop talking to him.. more talk will just aggravate the situation
nina

February 19, 2016 at 4:21 am

He is messaging me. Should I ignore or reply?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 19, 2016 at 8:34 am

If you have already told him the truth and he doesn’t believe, it’s not your problem anymore.. and also if he keeps saying sweet things now, that means he believes you didn’t cheat but also be careful that this end up being a cycle.. have your standards too.. if he doesn’t act what he says, you should know when to walk away

nina

February 18, 2016 at 1:07 pm

I broke up with him so many times but he just kept saying sweet things and didn’t let it happen. Should I not contact him at all? Doesn’t even wanna accept that he had me as an option.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 4:44 pm

Hi Nina,

yes, do nc because he should prove of he really loves you.. talk is cheap.

Iyef

February 18, 2016 at 11:49 am

My ex and i have never had sex, we were together 6 months and broke up 4 days ago. i thought for the longest time that its cause i wasn’t his type and he didn’t find me attractive or something but I’ve only just realised it was just bad communication. he didn’t know it meant that much to me and i have needs. i cheated on him in december after we broke up for 4 days (because he said we are so different it’ll brake us up eventually why don’t we just save ourselves time ) he eventually came back to his senses and we got back together but i was soooooooooooo hurt. i told him about the cheating and he forgave me, i cheated again in january but could not bring myself to tell the truth. i thought of how much it’ll hurt him and i was not ready to do that at all. I recently confessed what id done on sunday because i was high and then after we broke up i had sex with the person id been cheating with again. we’ve still been talking, I’ve been so apologetic i regret it so much especially because this could have all been avoided if we had a conversation about it earlier. i finally decided to cut off the guy id been cheating on him with, I went to surprise him on tuesday in his uni and apologise and we spoke and we both got really sad and he let me sleep in his bed and cuddle me but he was still so angry.from what i got from the visit he basically loves and hates me at the same time and does not trust me one bit. he kept saying something inside him has died and he’s so heart broken he feels as though we can never had what we had but he also says time heals and maybe with time he’ll heal. The thing is since we broke up, we’ve been talking about soo much stuff we should have discussed while we were together. and now i feel more than ever that we would be perfect together. i love him soo much he’s my best friend and i want him back, I’m ready to do anything, he’s so confused at the moment and we’re still talking, not like everything is back to normal but just basically about how hurt we both are and how best to deal with it and what not. i don’t know what I’m doing, what do you think about the situation.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 4:32 pm

Hi Iyef,

well you really have to be patient and prove him you’ve changed but is he open to be sexual because if not, you have to think about whether you can go on in the relationship even without that

helen

February 18, 2016 at 10:17 am

I cheated on my boyfriend about 4 months ago and he amazingly stayed with me, which I am so appreciative of. Throughout the past 4 months I have focused all my energy on him and our relationship and have barely seen my friends at all. So this weekend I was asked out on a night out with my best friends but he isn’t allowing me to go. He says if I go he will break up with me, what do I do? I love him more than anything but I feel trapped and it’s draining all the life out of me. I don’t feel worthy of him anymore. Help please!

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 4:00 pm

Hi Helen,

Why doesn’t he allow you? Is he holding your mistake against you?

Cassie

February 18, 2016 at 2:17 am

Hi, I been with my bf for 10 months and we have the most amazing chemistry every time we’re together. Just recently my ex who is still in love with me reached out to him and ask what kind of relationship did he and I have. My ex doesn’t want me to move on and still checks the phone records to see who I talk to. He told my bf that we are still together, but my ex and I are just friends and I visit him once a month in another state cause of his health condition and a legal matter that we are going through together. I have been separated with my ex for over a year and we just friends. Bf now thinks I was cheating on him. I didn’t tell him I was visiting my ex every month cause my bf and aren’t an item yet and I didn’t want to reveal that. I really want to make it right with my bf again but his last text was to loose his number. We were in such a good spot together and I don’t want to lose him. I’m not begging or bugging him right now so he he have his space and time to think. I’m going to wait two months to reach but I want to do it right because he was really upset with me and I hope to get him back. Please help, I don’t know I can reach out to him so we can reconnect with him being upset and not giving me a chance to explain to him my side of the story. Thanks.

Cassie

February 18, 2016 at 2:44 pm

I wasn’t honest with my bf by lying to him and I hope sometime soon I can reach out to explain after the nc rule. He think I slept and lived with my ex and was still together with him which is not true. Is there hope for me when I do reach out?
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 6:16 pm

I think so,.. yiu just need a good talk
EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 1:41 pm

Hi Cassie,

obviously your ex still thinks you still have a chance together or it wasn’t clear to him what you really are.. if you want this to work out, you have to be honest with both of then

Anisah

February 17, 2016 at 8:15 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of nearly year with a guy over the internet. I was talking to him for the past couple months of our relationship and we broke up just yesterday. He found out while we were out and drunk after seeing a text message and I lied about it and the in the morning told him the truth.It was the weirdest break up ever because I was staying at his place and we had to spend the day together and he even took me all the way home. I was crying all day and he could see how sorry I was and he even slept with me twice, but told me it meant nothing and all day he was really nice. We later talked and kissed on the train back home like it was all ok, it was so weird and hurtful at the same time. We argued last night out in the street and announced that i cheated on him to everyone on the bus home because the internet lover called me and he talked to him and told him everything about us. My ex texted me today saying he never wants to talk to me again but despite it all he still loves me and will miss me. I dont know how to fix this but I want him back so much, more than anything. I was talking and flirting to the internet guy mostly because my ex didn’t text me all the time and we were in a long distance relationship. My ex was at uni and i live in London, so he was busy and would not always have time for me.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 11:23 am

Hi anisah

well you have to cut ties with the internet guy first, and be very patient, if you can, talk with your ex once he has cooled off

nina

February 17, 2016 at 9:33 am

I have been seeing this guy for nearly 2 years now and when we stared seeing each other, he never really made it official that we were going out. He would never be involved in doing things with me. We even got physical and I fell in love with him. We broke up so many times because I kept asking him why wasn’t he committing to me and all the time he would just sa ysweet things and make me go back to him. And I always had to be available for him but he wasn’t when I needef him. I asked him out on a date and he never bothered giving me a reply if he can or can’t. So I went out with my friends and be in so upset I had to find some comfort. I met someone that was sweet and nice to me and just wanted to hung out. End of night we kissed and it just happened that my bf saw us. He calls me his gf but never shows me or puts any effort. We had a huge fight and he just kept calling me a cheater. I told him about how lonely and tired I was of pleasing him but he wouldn’t appreciate me but he does not wanna accept that. I don’t even call that cheating but I feel guilty coz of all the names he has called me. What should I do ? I stopped contacts …should I msg or leave it

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 18, 2016 at 8:34 am

Hi Nina,

don’t feel guilty.. he wasn’t clear with what your relationship was and he didn’t treat you right.. If I was in your case, I should have broken up with hum earlier

Isabel

February 10, 2016 at 5:11 pm

Hello there,

I had a very honest and respectful relationship with my ex-boyfriend for 6,5 years. He loved me a lot. He is the man that all women dream of. Still, I cheated on him one time with a co-worker, being drunk: a very handsome and unpredictable man.

1,5 week later, I told my ex-boyfriend that I had cheated on him and I was 3 months in doubt about the situation. I didn’t want to get back together with him if I wasn’t 100% sure. He deserves a woman who loves him, not someone that is doubting about her feelings the whole time. After two months he told me he wanted to move on. He says he can’t trust me anymore and he wants space, but I’m dying from the inside. I feel very insecure right now, I blame myself on everything and I am – honestly – very sure I will never find such a good man as he is.

The problem is, I moved to another country for him. I still live here, but because of the situation, times are very rough and I also long to be together with my old friends and family again. I really want to give it another chance, even if it means staying here and giving him a lot of time to get back together.

What should I do?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 11, 2016 at 11:07 am

Hi Isabel,

Yes, give him time. And it also means cutting ties with the man you cheated with.. You have to be really patient. This is going to be a long proceas

Jenny

February 7, 2016 at 10:38 pm

Hello,

It has been 2 months since my ex boyfriend found out about my affair. We initially had little contact. He’d only contact me to ask questions about the affair. Although, this happened on a daily basis. He was very angry then. Since, we’ve been talking more, all day every day. He’s still upset, but not as angry. He still says hurtful things like “I wish I never met you.” However, he tells me multiple times a day that he loves and misses me. We’ve been talking to one another more like we did when we were together. He lives in another state, so we use FaceTime to watch movies and talk about one another’s day all the time. It feels almost the same as it did when we were together. However, he’s distant. He doesn’t always hear what I’ve said and often doesn’t tell me what he’s been up to. Although, he assures me that I’m the only girl he’s talking to. He insists that he will eventually stop talking to me. But, at the moment, it is too hard for him to leave because of the pain of missing me and because he did plan on marrying me. He gets upset often. Questions why I did what I did often. Doubts me often. But, apologizes when he sees that I’m upset. I’ve been showing him that I’ve been true to my word and that I’m committed to him. He seems to understand that. But, still, he insists that he must leave because the thoughts of what I’ve done will never leave his mind. Do I have a chance of being with him? How can I make him happier? What can I do to make him believe that if we are together, we can make so many memories that will eventually clear his mind of what I’ve done?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 8, 2016 at 8:47 am

Hi Jenny,

So, does he mean that’s he’s just keeping in contact to slowly let go of you? All of this for his own benefit and you’re going along with it?

Stephanie

February 3, 2016 at 8:25 pm

I cheated on my ex while we were dating, and later broke up with him because I felt very guilty.

It’s been over a month since we haven’t been together and I wasn’t taking his calls, even though I’ve been missing him a lot. I just felt like after everything that happened I needed space. I didn’t tell him that I cheated before we broke up.

Recently he got in touch with me and sent me a picture of me holding hands with another guy he found from a few months prior to our break up and some other “romantic” photos with gf/bf captions. He told me that I fooled him and that he would be coming to drop my stuff off. Before he reached out to me I wanted to get back together, but now I’m in a really sticky situation. I’m not sure how I should handle this or if things can be repaired between the two of us. I was really feeling like I wanted him back.

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 4, 2016 at 2:15 pm

Hi Stephanie,

That means if you want to get back with him, you have to cut ties totally with the other guy. If ever you get to talk when he comes back. Apologize sincerely but don’t bet. Explain as calm as you can and then let him be angry. He has the right to be. But make your last words before you into NC worth realizing for him that you are repentant about the everything.

rrr

February 3, 2016 at 7:14 pm

There are two things fundamentally wrong with that:

1)”Monogamy is unnatural” thing – maybe, maybe not, doesn’t matter. If you didn’t want to be in a monogamous relationship, you should have made it clear from the beginning. If you let your partner believe you are in such relationship and still go out and have sex with someone else, it’s your own fault.

2)Writing down list of ex’s drawbacks/needs not being met – again, doesn’t matter. If you had any significant issues with your relationship, you should have voiced your concerns to your partner and see, what’s done to improve it. If there is no progress, you’re more than justified to break up. If you don’t bother and go screw someone else, again, it’s on you.
Amy

January 31, 2016 at 9:39 pm

My long distance boyfriend found out I had an affair and broke up with me. It’s been a month since he found out. I cut off all contact with the guy i had the affair with and I’ve committed myself to being honest, answering any and all questions truthfully when asked. My ex and I have been talking more and more. Spending most of the day on Skype, doing things and having fun like we did when we were together. He brings up what I’ve done often and keeps insisting daily that he has to leave, but at the same time asks how he could ever leave when I’m the love of his life. Sometimes he’s loving. Sometimes angry. Sometimes upset. Sometimes doubting. I’ve been spending as much time with him as I can, trying to prove to him that I’m a better person who wants to provide him with the life he deserves. He no longer thinks he can find happiness in life, no matter if he stays or goes. I really want him back. Do I have a chance? What can I do to have him be a part of my future again?

EBR Team Member: Amor

February 1, 2016 at 12:25 pm

Hi Amy

It will really take time. He hasn’t fully forgiven and trusting you yet. So, what you need to do now is make more hapoy memories to override the past

Michelle

January 29, 2016 at 11:10 pm

I cheated on my boyfriend of 4 years in November with a co worker. I was feeling lonely and we had been going through a really hard time, always constantly fighting and not really spending time with each other.
He recently found out from someone else. And he doesn’t want to speak to me or see me. He says I ruined everything, and that he had plans for us. And we were finally in a good place in our relationship. But now he could never trust me or anyone else again. We truly loved each other and knew we were soulmates and now I just destroyed everything. I really want us to end up together in the end. I know he wants his time and space and I want to give it to him. I’m just afraid that if I do, I’ll lose him for ever. What do I do?

Alison

February 21, 2016 at 3:06 pm

What you need to do is realise that you have shattered your (now ex) boyfriends trust not only by cheating on him in the first place, but by not telling him afterwards. If you felt so guilty about what you did you would have told him to his face and took the punishment like a person willing to work on themselves, at least that way your ex wouldn’t have found out through another channel when throughout it all you’ve purposefully kept it hidden from him. I don’t know what you can do other than leave him alone and hope he finds someone better than you.

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