1,990 thoughts on “You Want Your Ex Back After Cheating On Him…. Here’s What To Do”

1. 

   Vanessa

   August 23, 2016 at 3:29 am

   Just two and a half weeks ago, we were head over heels. We then fought over him not spending enough time with me. We’ve fought before in our two and a half year relationship, but have always patched things up quickly.

   I always have the same reaction to the fights–barrage of angry texts. This time, I was really mean. I guess I was tired and seeing no change. But he begged me to be more patient.

   Two weeks passed–it was a lot of me getting things off my chest while he kept quiet.

   Two days ago, I tried to repair things.

   He told me he was tired of hearing my anger. He said he has moved on and is seeing another woman.

   Naturally, I lost it.

   How could there be another woman?!? If we were so in love just weeks ago, how could this happen?

   Was she always there? Was she on the side while we were together? Or did he jump into something in these two weeks after our falling out?

   I don’t want to believe it. I can’t believe this.

   It happened in my first relationship years ago when we broke up and he said he was seeing someone else, but later he confessed he wasn’t. He made it up to make the break a point of no return. We forgave each other and became friends since then.

   Just really scared now. Is he making this other woman up? He hasn’t blocked me or anything.

   I did nothing. We had a fight like we always do. Aside from those fights, I was attentive and loving. This fight is not something to give up hope over.

   I was really in love with this current guy. I anticipated getting even more serious with him.

   How could everything just fall apart? If he is serious, how could he hurt me like that? Help me understand.

1. 

   Vanessa

   August 27, 2016 at 9:45 pm

   I know. I knew we were in a fragile state, recovering from a fight in April, but I was tired too of feeling unimportant to him, and I snapped.

   Yes, we’re in ‘no contact.’

   These past days have been hell–both being hard on myself for not better controlling my anger and also thinking non-stop of the possible other woman.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   August 27, 2016 at 7:18 am

   Hi Vanessa,

   whether it’s true or not, it looks like he got tired of the fights.. are you in no contact now?

2. 

   Tiffany

   July 20, 2016 at 12:41 am

   My Ex and I had been going out for 2 years. In that time there were ups and downs. I gossiped a lot to my friends about our issues. My friend took my old dating profile that I forgot to deactivate and tried to find me other men without my knowledge. My Ex looked through my emails and found these current messages. I freaked out and deleted everything because I couldn’t understand what was happening.

   We went through a month and half of back and forth hurt. My friend refused to help us reconcile the situation and I tried showing up to her workplace. I lied to my partner about me showing up to her workplace because I wanted to try and speak amicably to her (he was willing to get arrested to have this friend talk).

   My Ex and I broke up even though my friend had finally called to confess everything. It wasn’t enough for him.

   I desperately want to get back together with my Ex even though he treated me poorly during this time. All of my friends etc said it would not be a good idea, but I just know we were soul mates and he was going through a stressful time.
   Each counselor I saw told me that he was emotionally, verbally and potentially physically abusive. They all agreed that he was not a good catch. I still can’t see what they see and want to try again.

   I didn’t institute the NC rule because I didn’t know about it. I thought it was better he kept seeing me because I figured “out of sight, out of mind”. We still need to exchange items because I’ve got a lot of stuff at our old condo together and he still has stuff stored with my parents. Unfortunately, we will need to contact each other for those particulars.

   I also asked if he wanted to hang out with me on the weekend and he said yes. I don’t know if that’s a good idea after all.

1. 

   Tiffany

   July 23, 2016 at 4:04 am

   I don’t know when I should start the NC.
   I broke protocol and did this:
   I broke down after 5 days of NC and called him. I asked him about how we were going to exchange our items on Sunday and whether he still wanted to hang out.
   Then I put myself out there and asked if he wanted to see a movie with me this evening. He agreed and so we went out. I paid for the tickets and he paid for the drinks/popcorn.

   It was okay, and he was impressed that I was on time and made a motion about ‘seeing each other again as if we started from the beginning’, but then at the end when I mentioned about hanging out Sunday after we exchanged goods he was becoming a bit distant again (oh I don’t know…we’ll see etc).

   I tried to keep the conversation light and talk about things we had a mutual interest in. We had some good discussions. He did ask about how difficult my living conditions are nowadays.
   At the very end we hugged and I said I missed him and he said he missed me (but it sounded a bit forced).

   The only thing I’ll say is that he’s quite swamped at work and he worked a 12 hour day before coming to see me for a movie.

   I guess for me I’m confused about the NC rule. I contacted him and we did see a film. I did have to initiate the whole thing, but he wasn’t opposed to it. However, he didn’t explicitly want to get back together either. But, why would he agree to see me for a movie?

   I miss him so terribly that I often go to very dark places when I think about losing him. I was just overjoyed that he wanted to hang out with me.

   Should I still implement the NC rule?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 23, 2016 at 1:52 pm

   I think he’s friendzoning you.. you should start nc immediately if you want

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 21, 2016 at 2:28 pm

   Hi Tiffany

   so when do you plan in doing nc?

3. 

   Copper

   July 12, 2016 at 10:01 pm

   I broke up with my boyfriend after almost 2 years and its been about a month since we broke up. He started getting jealous over me hanging out with some girlfriends and one particular guy(guy X), but we have problems talking things out because i tend to run away from problems. When I broke up with him over text it was because he was freaking out I was going to go bowling with guy x and we planned it last minute so i told my ex last minute. He was very upset because he was at work and felt i was checking his schedule to hangout with guy x behind his back. Partially true, I wanted to hang out with him because I hadn’t seen his is 3 years and his sister (who is very sick and no one updates anyone on) is my best friend. When I texted him saying we are breaking up all he said was “whatever”. I assumed that meant he was done, so I was too. I wanted him to see how ridiculous he was being. He proceeded to try and talk to me and work things out, but I was busy with unfortunate family issues and life, but honestly i was still to scared to fight so i kept running away. I made one horrible mistake one drunken night and slept with guy x, but i new it was a mistake after it happened. So i texted my ex and told him i was ready to talk… My ex had found out about me and guy x tho from a mutual friend of guy x. So my ex officially hates me and doesn’t want to work things out. He says every time he looks at me he sees me and guy x together… i have no clue what to do. I love him and I just wanted to get over him, but I realized i couldn’t afterwards. My ex keeps telling me he promised himself he wouldn’t put himself in that situation again after his last ex. I want to prove to him it was a mistake and I want to fix things, but he won’t talk to me and he told me i needed to take time to find myself… which i agree… but how do i continue to work at our relationship when he wont even respond to me.

1. 

   Copper

   July 14, 2016 at 4:59 pm

   we are trying no contact at this point, but its because he wants time

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 14, 2016 at 8:38 pm

   use this time to massively improve yourself

3. 

   Copper

   July 13, 2016 at 5:18 pm

   what is nc?

4. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 13, 2016 at 6:45 pm

   oh sorry it means no contact

5. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 13, 2016 at 4:10 pm

   Hi Copper,

   do you want to do nc and try what Chris advised?

4. 

   Melanie

   July 9, 2016 at 10:42 am

   Hi, Um, My boyfriend and i broke up two days ago, and We were in a 5 month relationship and it was long distance, and i was with another guy at the same time for like 3 months. Now the issue is the other guy, i got physical with him and i broke up with him on and off while i was with my boyfriend. The other guy told everything to me ex now and he is extremely traumatized and in a state of shock. Problem is I used the same typing styles and everything with both of them. Everything i did with my boyfriend, emotional and intellectual conversations i did the same with the other guy. And i was very physical with the other guy. My ex is very logical and is saying that even if he was with me he would be in this constant state of paranoia and he would never be able to trust me ever again. and he knows it in his heart that it is impossible, absolutely impossible for us to get back, ever again. I am telling him alot of things about how i would work on my issues by going to therapy because i have a lot of manipulating issues on my own, and i told him that not to be with me just to be patient to let me go to therapy and work out my issues before even considering being with me. But he has blocked me off from every social media site possible and is trying to move on as soon as possible. What do you think i should do? Please let me know soon.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 9, 2016 at 5:46 pm

   Hi Melanie,

   be honest with yourself first of why you did it.. and that’s good that you’re going to therapy and then keep in mind too that this will not be resolved immediately.. it may take a long time..are you going to do what Chris advised?

5. 

   Courtney

   July 5, 2016 at 1:31 pm

   Hi,

   So I need some advice. My boyfriend and I were dating for a year and half and broke up almost a month ago. We broke up as he went through my texts and saw texts I had with a friend that was going on for a couple of months. This friend was obviously a guy and I met him when I started college and nothing ever came out of our relationship except a friendship. My boyfriend told me that right now its best for us to break up and take space and see where things go. Some of the texts between this friend and I were a little sexual but nothing ever came from it. I actually made it clear in one of my texts to him that “he can’t expect anything sexually from me because i could never do that to my boyfriend”
   I have been going and seeing a therapist and it has helped me so much, we came to a conclusion as to why I reached out to that guy in those certain ways and it was because i was insecure about myself and just wanted to know that i was still pretty to someone else besides my ex. (Dont know if this makes a difference but before this relationship, i was in a 5 year relationship where my ex at the time was cheating on me for a year and left me and is now getting married to the girl he left me for)

   How much space do I give my boyfriend (or ex)? We have such an amazing relationship and this is the first problem that we have had. He is not someone I want to loose in my life and I made a mistake as we all do and we are human..

   I just need some advice

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 6, 2016 at 6:51 am

   Hi Courtney

   that’s right..we’re all human.. let him cool off by doing active nc for 30 days

6. 

   claire

   July 2, 2016 at 4:03 pm

   Me boyfriend and I had been dating for four years. We dated almost all through high school and our first year of college together. Through our first year of college together things were awesome I would visit regularly because we were only 40 min from each other. I though that things were going amazing, we both even said we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. But in our last month of college I met another guy. I hooked up with him at a party and after that I didn’t hook up with him again but we would continue to hang out and flirt.I could tell my boy friend new that I was acting differently towards him because he began to become clingy and I even told him that maybe we should take a break. When it was time for me to leave college the day after i got home the guy that i cheated on my boyfriend with needed a place to stay at because he could not travel back home to his house yet. So me thinking I was being nice offered him to stay in our guessed house. I did not hook up with him there but i was in the house with him because my mom didn’t trust him to be there alone. To my surprise my boyfriend comes to the house. All the doors were locked so he could not get in but he was walking around the house and even broke a window. I was so scared and didn’t know what to do so the only thing I could think of was txt him and say please leave or I will call the cops. So after that I made the guy leave as well. Then I cut off all contact with him. I was disgusted with what I had done. Then about three days after that whole thing happened I saw my boyfriend or ex-boyfriend you can say at a bar with all my friends. He new that I was going to be there and I knew he would be there as well. So we saw each other there and the first thing I did when I saw him was break out in tears. I could not control my emotions. I went up to him and explained everything to him because of course I knew that he thought the worst such as thinking I was sleeping with the guy. To my amazment he took it very well when I was explaining to him even though I was mess while talking even having panic attacks cause i was so distraught he would kiss me so I would stop panicking. He even came back to my house that night and we had sex and he slept there. It has been just over a month since this whole thing and he knows that I would do anything to be with him but we are still not together. We talk every day and even hook up maybe once a week. But we have good and bad days sometimes he will be talking to me like normal and others he will be angry with my and ask me why I had to ruin everything. He says he just doesn’t feel the same but I expected that to be normal cause I hurt him so bad.He tells me that he plans to go back to school single so that he can figure out if he really things he should give me a second chance but then he has also said maybe there will be a incredible chance that we would be back together by then. I have even told him that I do not want to go back to my old school where i cheated on him at because i don’t want to see that person and be reminded of what I did there so I plan to transfer. Im have apologized so many times and every night I make sure I txt him that I love him. I even wrote a apology letter to his whole family. I wonder it I should just try to not talk to him and not see him for a while and maybe that could help things but we have the same friend group so its very hard. I just don’t know what else I can do to try and get him back I really really do love him so much and don’t want to lose him. I just need to know if there is anything else I can do.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 4, 2016 at 2:57 pm

   Hi Claire,

   di you want to try what Chris advised here?

7. 

   Taniya

   July 1, 2016 at 1:15 pm

   I brokeup with my ex yesterday night. We were in a 10mnths long relationship. But since last two.months, he started ignoring me, coz of which I got involved with another guy,just for gym pass in instagram and Whatsapp. Yesterday, that guy blackmailed me Nd got my x contact number Nd send him all our chats and my pics over whatsapp Nd now I have lost my love forever,I am confused whether I will ever get him back

8. 

   Taniya

   July 1, 2016 at 1:09 pm

   I was in a live in relationship with my lover a day back. Yesterday only he came to know that I was in another relationship with an out of town guy whom he never knew Nd we met in instagram ,chatted over in Whatsapp Nd hike. We had private chats Nd yesterday that guy told everything to my ex, whom I love the most even now. I Nd my ex were together since last 8 months. The reason why I got with the other guy was that that he was ignoring me since last one month. Nd now he is extremely heart broken. I am confused whether I will ever get him back

1. 

   Taniya

   July 2, 2016 at 5:30 am

   I am actually afraid of using the no contact rule coz it may result differently in my case, my ex may move on and may get into a new relationship. What should I do?

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 4, 2016 at 12:54 pm

   if you stayed present would thay change his mind or you would appear to be chasing him?

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 1, 2016 at 5:46 pm

   Hi Taniya,

   do you want to try Chris advice above?

9. 

   Rebekah

   June 30, 2016 at 5:55 pm

   Well me and my fiancé have been together for almost 5yrs he found out I cheated 2wks ago, we have a child together. I cheated once with his friend who used me to his advantage he showed my fiancé some of the horrible things I’ve said but didn’t mean (because my fiancé would treat me so badly in front of him) well he saw all the time when my fiancé would treat me ugly around him, he would even text him saying he would cheat on me if I didn’t leave his house (before I ever cheated) well this one night my fiancé told me to leave I did, and his friend started texting me on Facebook trying to comfort me because my fiancé would tell him everything about me.. My mistake was not seeing that he was using this to his advantage to sleep with me… Well my fiancé would often talk ugly to me and down me all the time because he was stressed out from work and bills, well the day he found out I cheated he kicked me and my child out, but that same night he asked me to come back… I came back and slept in our daughters room.. Well he told me he wanted to make it work that it was going to be hard so I deleted my Facebook and stuff for him and everytime we fight he throws what I did in my face playing innocent but he cheated on me 3years earlier, he says he never slept with her but his best friend told me he told him he slept with her multiple times.. Well he waited till I cheated to admit to kissing her after all this time he lied to me and waited till I messed up to be honest… It still hurts me cause he works with this girl still. The guy I cheated with I blocked his number .. I have no desire to contact him.. He was a mistake I’ll forever regret because I ruined my relationship. Today my fiancé told me to get out his house, yesterday we argued cause I still had Instagram and I didn’t think it bothered him until his sister told him I posted an old picture.. Then boom he told me I’m a liar he can’t trust me and all this ugly hurtful stuff. Then tree what I did in my face again after I’ve apologized many times and told him I know it was a big mistake and that I loved him more than anything in the world but he gets mad when I bring up what he did in the past… This all hurts me because we have a child together and I love him dearly still he’s my forever … He’s just so self centered at times and has a bad temper doesn’t help that he’s a narcissist either. He’s never lasted in any relationship but this one I’ve put so much into this relationship to just give up … I know it took me a while to trust him again because he would always message girls behind my back and lie to my face saying so? Or that he never messaged anyone else but I saw his messages.. He wants me out because he keeps dwelling on what I did it just hurts because my daughter is involved… I love him and I just want him to see I’m not lying to him or keeping anything from him … Cheating isn’t me … I wouldn’t want to hurt my family again or risk losing him but I think I am… He’s always kicked me out but asked me to come back but this time he’s blocked my number and called me ugly names and doesn’t want anything to do with me.. Blamed me telling me he’s going to miss out on his daughter cuz of me but that’s his choice for not trying to fight for this relationship or even have a little faith in me… Idk what to do I cannot stop thinking about losing him because I love him so much!

1. 

   Rebekah

   July 6, 2016 at 3:17 pm

   Well after Not initiating any contact with my fiancé since he kicked me out he wound up texting me talking out what I did I reminded him that I caught him with a girl 3yrs earlier and I told him exactly how I felt for what I did he knows I wouldn’t contact the guy I made my mistake with nor would I want to ruin what I have again and be in the same mess again. We went for a cruise in the sunset in his car after that he asked me to come home… This is the second time he kicked me out since he found out but had me come back, he told me last night he couldn’t see himself with anyone else dealing with anyone else’s mess, that’s why he brings me home a after he gets over being mad about it I always tell him he doesn’t need to worry I’m sure it’ll take him time to finally believe and trust in me and I’m willing to fight and show him I’ll stay faithful to him and give this relationship my complete all like before! Hope everything works out for the rest of you how you hope it will ! God bless

2. 

   Rebekah

   July 1, 2016 at 3:08 pm

   I would tell her to leave that relationship.. Because I know it’ll never get better.. It’s just so hard because I’m codependent and I love him so much it leaves me breathless now because the thought of him not wanting me but still texts me rubbing it in my face how I ruined our family but he doesn’t remember he strayed away first way before I did … I forgave him and put it behind me especially all the times he would go behind my back and message other girls on Facebook giving his number out out.. Idk what to do anymore… I hate that I love him this much and feel like I need him..

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 1, 2016 at 1:35 pm

   HI Rebekah,

   you have to be realistic.. if he is narcissistic, then he will always be right unless you set your boundaries.. your relationship doesn’t have respect.. I think in order for you to make the right decision, you have to have a different perspective.. let’s say your daughter is in the same situation, how would you advise her?

10. 

    Lizzy

    June 29, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    Hi, I cheated on my boyfriend with 2 guys,the other was a one time thing and the other was a friends with benefits, my ex and I were in a long distance relationship n he has always had difficulties trusting me I don’t know why.apparently h knew my facebook password so thats how he found out I slept with 3 guys while h was away,h broke up wt me without telling me the reason,he stopped taking my calls, after weeks of calling,texting him begin to take me back,he wudnt respond and when h does he wud ask me never to call him again, i strugled to find closure coz i ddnt know wat i had done,h only told me that he broke up wth me bcz i lost oll respect i had for him.so one day i sent him a text amd told him am giving up on hm, one day later h called me and asked me to visit his city aso i can get closure if i wanna,h wasnt really beggingbut i agreed coz i rly felt llike i needed to see him, when i got there he told mi that he knows about the guys i slept with h saw it on my facebook inbox so thats the reason why h stoped calling me,he treated mi like a queen while I was there,doing good things for me,it felt as if we were stl in a relationshp, h wud tell me he loves me everyday,h wud kiss me every morning whm w wake up and late at night when we sleep, we cuddled,this one night we went out drinking and had sex using a protection for the first time in a while but I understood maybe he thot I might have not used it with the other guys I slept with.I had a great time with him and I cud see h was enjoying my company too coz when I had to leave h didn’t want me to leave soon BT I had no choice,whenever I asked to try again h wud say no he cant.the last day i was thr w ddnt finish having sex he just got off on top of me and said he does nt fl lyk finishing.I left and w talked on the phone for two days,then I got uncomfortable I felt that maybe h was playing mind games with me, I texted him that it wud b best we cut all contacts so w can both move on peacefully,h accepted.a day later I tried to cal him coz I urgently nided somthng important that h was supposed to give me but h didn’t pick up nor reply to my text.I texted him and told him to never mind I wl make another plan, that was today, I stl haven’t heard from him..I love him so much and I miss him, I want him back so badly but I wish I cud know whats on his mind,do yu think I stl stand a chance of getting him back?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   July 1, 2016 at 11:28 am

   HI Lizzy,

   you have to avoid any jealousy moves.. and he might be checking your inbox still, so avoid any flirty chats with men.. you have to get back his trust and also figure out why you cheated in the first place..

11. 

    Jacky

    June 21, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    Me. And my boyfriend dated 2and half years. We know each other in our university. He graduated first and needed to work in other states, and he made the effort to come back to see me and his family. I did visit him for twice only within a year. This long distance relationship, I have been going out with my friends and less communicate. We broke up once because I was sick and a guy was willing to take care of me, I need this because my bf was not around (he only knew I cheated on him after we broke up). He wants me back but I feel not deserve because I did cheat on him. End up we get back together. He started to text a girl since after we broke up for the first time. Then, recent broke up because he is in relationship with this girl and said I can’t give what he wants. We talked it clear after break up, and he cheated on his current girlfriend as in not letting her know I was around I was with him and overnight at his place,he said he scares it will hurt her. He said he Still miss me when we were having the talk.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 22, 2016 at 9:32 am

   Hi Jacky,

   does he plan on leaving her?

12. 

    rash

    June 19, 2016 at 5:40 am

    My boyfriend broke up with me because his parents were not accepting me at all… bt still he was with me he never left because i always force him to stay with me bt one day this same incident happen his parents come to knw that he was meeting me then he again left me n i got angry n started to talk to another guy that guy proposed me n i said him to wait i recently had my break up this is kind of a cheating.. my boyfriend came back we patch up again bt i didn’t told him about that guy bt now he came to about it he is really hurt n angry with me n told that i need 1 mnth space i agred to this think but still i dont knw how to get him back as my boyfriend i luv him n i knw that he also love him alot but he cannot convice his parents and always say that we dont have any futute what should i do….

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 21, 2016 at 7:06 am

   HI Rash,

   why don’t they like you and how old are you both?

13. 

    J

    June 17, 2016 at 12:15 am

    So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 years we are really good together but I cheated on him, twice. The first time it was because we were arguing for almost two weeks and i guess i was looking for attention that he wasn’t giving me so i kissed a guy but thats as far as it went and some flirty texts. I told my bf of course he was upset we talked about it and I guess you could say he let it go but every time we got into an argument he would bring it up and call me names and it would put me down. So ever since then when we’re together we’re fine but when we are a part things go all wrong and he pushes me away and we argue so recently, a guy i used to talk to saw me walking and we caught up and he kissed me, i didn’t tell my bf at first but he found out and he called me all sorts of names and stuff but we talked and i explained everything i told him how i was feeling and he said his feelings too and we were good but he always brings it up and uses it against me and it makes me feel crappy i understand i hurt him but when he always uses it against me it hurts to and i already blamed myself for eveyrhting i just want to know if we both feel like we want to keep going bt he cant let go of the past what should we do?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 18, 2016 at 1:34 pm

   Hi J,

   talk to him sincerely and if he can’t let it go later on, take a break

14. 

    Alyssa young

    June 16, 2016 at 2:19 pm

    Okay so i cheated on my boyfriend within the first three weeks of our relationship with an ex boyfriend. We have only been together now for 3 months, ik ik not long but i really love this guy, he helps me in so many ways with teaching me so much and helping me better my life. The guy i cheated on is giving me another chance but i really just want to know how to gain his trust back. I do everything that it says here i tell him what im doing where im going and who im with and talking to. We talk alot but when i tell him maybe we should give each other a break he keeps saying i dont want you to leave me. I wont get to see him again till the 26 maybe of this month, what do i do???

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 18, 2016 at 12:42 pm

   Hi Alyssa,

   if he gave you another chance, then you’re still together right? if you just want to get his trust back, just be patient and stay honest.. it will really take time

15. 

    Vic

    June 15, 2016 at 3:58 am

    My boyfriend recently saw me texting an old friend and we were rather friendly. He then got mad when he went through my messages and saw that we texted quite regularly with no mention of him. I was upset at that time because we were going through a tough patch and then I needed some advice. The guy did try to make advances but I rejected his advances. My boyfriend is very upset and angry over this, he said it reminds him of his past relationship where he was cheated on before. But I never once cheated on him, still he was angry that i was getting close with another guy. I have already told that guy not to contact me already. My bf is still very upset and has been ignoring me since. What should I do? If I do the NC rule will he think that i am guilty or am moving on to another guy? Or will he try to forget me like he did his ex? We were planning to settle down already before this and we had even gone through our tough patch.. I am at a loss now. Please help.

1. 

   VIC

   June 20, 2016 at 7:59 am

   Hi Amor, many thanks for the support, I have explained to him and started NC. I was just wondering if he will decide to forget me and move on during this time. He was really really angry and wouldnt give me a chance, said he will find someone else. He has even put his status as single. He was cheated on twice before and even though I didnt actually it feels like I did to him. Would it be easy for him to hate me and move on.

   Would really appreciate some insight on this, thank you…

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 21, 2016 at 7:36 pm

   if he hates you then that means he hasn’t moved on.. just avoid doing any jealousy moves.. and you have to see, that he’s being unfair with you.. he’s trying to control you

3. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 17, 2016 at 9:14 pm

   Hi Vic,

   if you’ve already explained the situation yi him..just give him time to cool off

16. 

    Riz

    June 12, 2016 at 7:56 am

    Hello. I was in Relation ship 5 years and we got married according to Religion but did not register it. I cheated with Wife and I was Drunk But My best friend get Space and he give much Wrong information to Her and she Get Mad,She Break with me did not tell me where she is She Block me every where I get Mad I find her, that my best friend where we live together and I leave she live with him and Told me that they got married But they have not then I come and find them together we fight with that guy and and she Get angry they Put a case on me in Court and I try to Prove she is My wife but could not coz they show legal Marriage Certificate to Court. I love her I really Realize that I can’t live with out her Now she is living with that Guy, But still I do not believe that she loves him and have Some true Relation ship, what Should I do ?

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 17, 2016 at 9:23 am

   Hi Riz
   have you started doing no contact?

17. 

    George

    June 2, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    I have been in an on & off relationship with a girl for nearly 3 years now. When things were good between us, they were amazing and we both agree we have never felt a connection with anyone like this before, however during the relationship I went through a really rough few months in regards to family life and finances and ended up being unfaithful and having sex with another girl, and shortly after we broke up I had sex with one of her close friends. I did not tell her until about 2 years into this relationship. Over the last year we have been on and off with me ending it sometimes and her ending it other times because we struggle to see eye to eye. However, she tells me how she considered me someone she wanted to be with for the rest of her life (we are both 22 years old). We have still been having sex over the last 12 months and she says that she wants to be able to forgive me for what I have done but is finding it so hard, and is currently saying she can’t be with me, I’ve explained I understand that she can’t be with me because of what I did in the past, but I explained the infidelity was a huge mistake and I have changed any bad traits within my personality and become a person she would be happy with. She even acknowledges this, saying that I do make her happy now, but the past still haunts her. She has asked me to give her some time and space for her to clear her mind, which I am happy to do. I am happy with the result if she finally says she cannot do it this time after having some time to think, but would be happier with another shot at showing her happiness. The last time she told me she could not do it, I said thats fine but we cannot speak as friends, she broke down after hearing this and was incredibly upset after leaving my house, ringing me 20-25 times in the space of an hour, and after I ignored her calls she messaged me saying she wanted to try again. After two weeks she decided she just simply could not forgive. Therefore I blocked her number. However, she managed to speak to me through social media and ask me to unblock her. She has asked me to give her time to let her think. How do you think I should react to this? Do you think my past is forgivable? I have recently moved home from university, and would be willing to make the effort to see her. I am not asking for an immediate return to the relationship, but instead a fresh start where we begin as if we are just beginning this for the first time. She told me how much she wanted to forgive, but doesn’t know if she can.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   June 12, 2016 at 6:26 am

   Hi George,

   of course it’s forgivable.. But I think you have to give her space so she can think and reflect and forgive you in her own timeline

18. 

    Kay Ann

    May 30, 2016 at 1:19 pm

    Here’s my situation….He broke up with me because he is CONVINCED I cheated on him 40 yrs ago in high school!! We were hs sweethearts…broke up and went our separate ways. We reconnected after over 30 years and have been seeing each other off and on for 5 yrs. Anyway…this last year things took a serious turn and we talked about marriage and he proposed I said yes and everything has been amazing..except for this one thing between us. He first brought it to my attention a couple of years ago…Here’s what he told me….That on evening back in school he and a friend saw me and my bff (whom I was spending the night with) leave her house and walk out to the car of an older guy from school and his friend..(the friend was my cousin)….any way…So when he told me this I was like what?? Cause to be honest I didn’t remember this happening at all….I quizzed him and he said yes he did see me doing this..after about a year of hearing this I finally said yes I guess I did…Here’s where I have to admit I still don’t remember this taking place…but I do know there was a brief moment at a local hang out where this guy and I talked….so I figured maybe this was what he was talking about. Fast forward to present day….Now he has come up with so many other aspects of this story. It has gone from my girlfriend and I walking out to the car to it just being me…that his friend who was with him,( My bf that is and his friend) taking him home and coming back to see what I was up to…and telling him that I got out of the guys car, shirt unbuttoned and hair messed up….to me having actually told my bf..back then how this other guy kissed…to us breaking up over this back then…to me telling him “it” happened between me and this guy and that we were both glad it finally happened…to my bf saying he talked with my cousin about 5 years after we broke up in HS and my cousin telling him that yes this other and guy and I were doing stuff all along behind his back…It’s all so convoluted to me…and I can’t stand the thought that anyone would think all this awful stuff. I was totally faithful back then and have been now! And his rages??? OMG I have never been so attacked and called such vicious names and things in all my life by anyone!! He says he knows I did this back then…I keep telling that I didn’t that all I ever did was chat with the guy for a few minutes. I was 15 at the time and lead a very sheltered life. Anyway..none of any of this happened. I have apologized over and over for having even talked to this guy..who by the way is supposedly the one guy my ex hated more than anyone else in the world…he says I knew this back then and proceeded to “have him” anyway! But, I am not lying to him..and he keeps hammering me about it and calling me a liar….UGH!! Some days like right now…I feel so childish even talking about stuff from that many decades ago…We are broke up now he is saying he hates me and never wants to hear from me again….I am not sure that I want to get back together…but I do know I want him to know the truth about things..that nothing ever happened… Can you help me with this??? I hope all of this has made sense….Thank you

1. 

   Kay Ann

   May 30, 2016 at 1:41 pm

   I should mention…when we broke up over this back in school..it was for only like 3 days or so…we got back together and dated 2 more years. This wasn’t the reason we broke up for good.

2. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 31, 2016 at 4:24 pm

   Hi Kay Ann,

   I don’t know if I will laugh or get pissed at him, sorry 😐 He just doesn’t make sense.. I think you need help from a common friend to tell him that it didn’t happen but if he really doesn’t listen then just let him cool off. Give him time to think to himself. You’ve done enough. If you can talk again before you do nc, to explain calmly that it really didn’t happen, do so but if not,that’s ok.

19. 

    melissa

    May 21, 2016 at 1:03 pm

    Hello

    my boyfriend once cheated on me with some girl then he apologized and he really showed effort i took him back so now we stay together but it seemed like i haven’t healed properly because everytime we fight i tend to want to hurt him back. my friend told me to cheat on him because i will also feel that we are equal so i cheated on him and i hated the feeling because we stay together. when the guy i’m cheating with calls me i feel uncomfortable and i think he overheard the conversation and he is angry. i really feel bad i dont know what to do because he is angry and he is not saying anything to me.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 26, 2016 at 5:30 am

   Hi Melissa,

   does he know now that you cheated?

20. 

    Sidney

    May 20, 2016 at 6:24 pm

    Hey! Recently, I have been with a guy for about 2 months. We never labeled the relationship. We saw each other everyday as soon as he got off work until the next morning when he went to work again. Everything was great until I started asking for commitment. He avoided the conversation. We went on like usual until one night I decided to go through his phone… I know… really bad. I saw he was on tinder and still making conversation with other girls. The conversations were harmless, but it still hurt to know I was not the only girl in his life. I took this as an ok to see other people (before, I had not even considered it because my heart was set on him). I hung out at my friend’s house that weekend who is a guy and things turned a little bit sketchy… I was drunk and posted a snap of the wine and one of the guy I was with… The next day, the guy I had been seeing texted me and said we shouldn’t talk, claiming he saw the snaps and accused me of sleeping with him (which I never did, though things did get a little intimate). This really confused me since he was talking to other girls in the first place. I ended up lying to him, saying nothing happened in an effort to keep him, but he found out later about the lie. He acted hurt, like I had cheated on him and we had a fight that ended in me leaving that night. The next day, he never texted me and I was lonely, so I asked my guy friend to come over to keep me company. Absolutely NOTHING happened between me and this guy. The guy I was with for a few months… lets call him Jared… texted me that night wanting to work things out. I told him I was with the other guy because I felt down and he instantly jumped to the conclusion that I was sleeping with him. I was honest with him this time and told him everything and how I felt about everything. I found it unfair that he was doing this since we were never exclusive. I went to his house that night and we argued a little bit and he makes comments about me sleeping around. I don’t know what to do. I want to work it out and be with him, but Im so confused as to what he wants. Even after asking him what he wants, he claims he doesn’t really know. How do I gain his trust back and move forward? He seems willing to work it out but is still very hesitant and angry towards me.

1. 

   EBR Team Member: Amor

   May 25, 2016 at 1:19 pm

   Hi Sidney,

   you have to cut ties with your guy friends that you had a drink for now and avoid having alone time with any guy.. it’s ok if it’s with a group of friends in an out door activity.. but avoid anything that would make him think you’re drinking then sleeping around