How To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend- When and How To Do It Right

649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”

v93

February 3, 2014 at 3:08 pm

So my 30days are up on the 14 of February i have not talked, texted, or Called my ex boyfriend imiss him so much he has not reached out to me either ihave been posting positive things in facebook and he has been liking my posts am i doing anything wrong as far as trying to get him back, and what should i do after my 30 days are up
Ivy

January 31, 2014 at 12:50 am

Hi,
Thanks for sharing this site. I have a question. My ex broke up with me last year. Since then I acted like begging him for the past 10 months. He said he only contacted me as a friend after 3 weeks of Nc. I started NC again on new year. I am getting tired of it so I did it. He texted me on the 27th and I still haven’t responded since 30 days was not up. Plus, all he texted me was “Ivy”. He didnt say anything else. now, idk how I feel anymore. Idk why he did that either. So if he should text me again. What should I say??
Thanks!

Carly

January 31, 2014 at 10:46 pm

P.S. He broke up with me because he felt that “the spark was gone” and said that it felt like we were married but not in a good way. We’ve never had a single fight, we always go along, and we had a very happy relationship. We’re both each other’s first loves and this is new to both of us.

I think that our “infatuation stage” had been ending and our love was becoming even more mature, and maybe this scared him and caused him to break up with me on an impulse (even though he loves me). Can this work out?

mickie

January 30, 2014 at 3:52 am

i did NC for 33 days and on the 33rd i msg him a very simple txt.. like is that you i saw at (place) earlier.. then in less than a min he replied saying he was at work.. then i’ve waited for 65 mins before replying so that it will not be obvious to him that im excited to talk to him.. but then after my 2nd msg he didnt reply anymore.. what should i do?

admin

January 30, 2014 at 6:12 pm

I wish you had sent him a better text to be honest.
mickie

January 31, 2014 at 4:50 am

you think its ok if i msg him again this sunday since its his day off? something like asking for help in my laptop since his the only one fixing it eversince..
mickie

January 31, 2014 at 5:01 am

what should i do chris.. pls help me=(

Hope

January 27, 2014 at 2:38 pm

HELP! I was seeing a guy and made the mistake of drunk texting. He told me I was being “whiney and annoying” which really made me angry (especially since I’d been drinking) and I sent a very ugly text and unfriended him from FB. Next day when I sobered up, I tried to call him to apologize, but of course he didn’t answer. I also sent a fb friend request…. He ignored it. I sent a couple of texts apologizing over the next two weeks. I didn’t want to ruin any chances by begging, but I did want to apologize. I have heard nothing from him at all. The last time I sent him anything was before Christmas, so it’s been well over 30 days. Is there any hope? Or do I just give up? (He hasn’t blocked me on fb, I don’t know if that means anything.)
Sarah

January 22, 2014 at 7:22 am

I’ve got a bit over a week of NC left and my ex texted me three days ago apologizing for being such a jerk to me about this whole thing (referring to events pertaining to our break up I guess..he broke up w me). When NC is up, how do I approach it? Do I answer his apology text? What do I say?
Thanks so much I really appreciate it!

admin

January 22, 2014 at 6:06 pm

I would start an entirely new thread of conversation.
Sarah

January 23, 2014 at 3:50 pm

So when I finally text do I apologize for the delay, I’ve been busy lately? And so I don’t apologize for my wrongdoings?(although I already did, after we broke up )

jessica

January 19, 2014 at 4:20 am

I implemented the no contact rule for 6 months and had blocked everything off phone, email, so I had no clue as to whether he even bothered to contact me or not. I came back to school after going on a research trip its been about 6 months I am fitter and look a bit different but a ‘good different’ according to my peers and with my luck he saw me the first day I came back to school. His eyes followed my every move according to my friends but my back was to him and I had a good time reconnecting with my classmates. From what I heard he has been having a ball flirting with girls left and right in my absence. Its been about two weeks and we randomly see each other all over campus our eyes always meet but neither one of us has approached the other instead its this whole weird ignoring thing but eye contact. I am planning on sending an group email in which he is included in regards to a research paper in two weeks time. I am hoping by then at least the ‘ice’ will break and one of us will do something other than stare. Good plan?
Amanda

January 17, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Me and my ex havent been in contact for a little bit over 2 months based on my wish of not talking. We fought for 4 months after the break up.

I sent him a text and he called me right after. I told him lets hang out on the weekend. he insisted on seeing me the next day for lunch.

he was flirting and said he still loves me and how painful it was to him. He said he was sorry.

our main issue is that he said he wanted to commit so many times and get engaged. Then he just wasnt ready for it so he broke up with me.

anyways after lunch he took to a spot we used to go to and we kissed and he couldnt get his hands off me. lets just say we got really intimate!!!

we both want to hang out again. but i know he isnt ready to commit.

What do I do?
Amber

January 10, 2014 at 11:59 pm

I am worried that if I don’t contact my ex for 30 days he will assume I don’t want him and none of this will work…??? What do I do?

SuperSan

January 14, 2014 at 8:31 pm

Hi

Was it you or your boy friend who ended this relationship ?

Karin

January 10, 2014 at 2:30 am

Hi Chris,

Quick question, will no contact work even in a situation where you tried to get them back for a month, tried NC after for 3 weeks and broke it? After breaking it I did a bit of texting after (not a gnat but light and sparse) then sent an email explaining what went wrong, what I valued and left it open for a future reconciliation. No response to email, it’s been 11 days … So 11 days of NC.

admin

January 11, 2014 at 1:27 am

It can. BUT you will have to do more than NC obviously.
Karin

January 11, 2014 at 3:03 am

Any suggestion? I’m kinda blind to the obvious right now.
admin

January 12, 2014 at 3:16 am

Suggestions? For what. Sorry I lost the context of our conversation.
Karin

January 12, 2014 at 5:04 am

Suggestions on what to do next? I did NC, broke it, at beginning of December, had light texting after to which he responded but did not initiate, I sent an email at the en of December and he did not respond. I ended up calling him today, no answer so I texted saying I had a question regarding my car and asked him to call me back. He texte back 5 hours later about it, so I asked if we could talk on the phone. It was pleasant, in the end I said we should get together that it’s been a while and he said sure…he has kids so he had to look at his schedule and he’d let me know when. What do you think?

Leighanne

January 7, 2014 at 2:54 am

My ex and I had an ending where he totally the last set of my texts, so I feel like I can’t send something random when I do text. Would it be ok for my first text after NC to be an apology for my over emotional behavior?
Annie

January 3, 2014 at 7:32 am

Hi Chris,

It’s me again (I asked you on other posts few weeks ago but I think it’s been too outdated to continue on that so I do a new one here).

Two more days to go then I’ll finish my 30 days NC and I’m going to make the first contact with him (he didn’t contact me at all during NC).

Just to recap my story, I and my ex were in LDR, he broke up with me after a serious fight (my fault I admit). Then he blocked me from every ways of contacts, including his phone number. But 2 weeks ago, he unblocked me from FB (but still unfriend).

Therefore, the only way I can contact him now is through FB message. Do you think it works? Should I just follow the FB message the way we do with text message?

Thanks
Heidy

December 27, 2013 at 5:23 am

Hi!
Me and my ex broke up 2 months ago. We lasted a year and he had a relationship with another person in those 2 month but it is now over! I read your page and followed the texting steps but as soon as I hit that sent button I get an immediate responds from the server saying my number was blocked from his phone! I saw him exactly a month ago while his ex girlfriend was out of the country and he had told me not to contact him because he had a girlfriend. So, I waited and I found out that they broke up and now she is going out with some other guy already! I reached him through fb but I know he is sleeping already because he works early so i’ll see if he answers tomorrow! Do you think he will answer me ? Oh and way before we saw each other a month ago he had called me out of now where for the first time since we had broken up to see if I was calling him ‘PRIVATE’ and I told him that I wasn’t cause that was the truth! So, any advice?

admin

December 27, 2013 at 7:34 pm

If you make your outreach compelling enough.

natalie

December 21, 2013 at 9:12 am

Hello!
Me & my ex were dates for almost half a year..till he suddenly requested for break up after we had a fight tho we had settled it beforehand. And his reason was exactly “it isnt you but me”..but then after i forced him sometimes he told me we were different ,his feeling was gone and bla bla..at first i pacnic…tried to beg him,asked him to rethink in mature way to solve our problem and so on and ofcourse it didnt worked out.then after tat i still tried to contact him as fren…he responded quitr good at the beginning till i asked him to back then he became kinda cold afterwards but still always respond to my every texts.then i tried to ask him out,he rejected …and sorry &thanks texts happenning there…after tat i still tried to contact him like normal…and he still cold as usual…but then i’ ve nvr contact him anymore up to now..we have broken for a month…and i start the NC for almost 2 weeks i guess..he aint active fb player…and just start being active recently when he changes gadget (i knew it from fren)..but then he add my fb afterall…wondering should i call him or stay NC

natalie

December 21, 2013 at 11:38 am

Sorry, what i mean is Ig insteas of fb. He suddenly follow mine and i accepted but i didnt follow back.. i understand that at the beginning mu ‘beg’ section my have drive my chance to almost 0….but is it still possible for me to win him back after i start my NC for 2 weeks? And some more…we do have bbm of each other which mean every update will be seen by him, will tat effect the NC period? Please help.

Kate

December 18, 2013 at 4:24 pm

I was friends with my ex for about a year before we dated, and then we dated for about ten months. We were talking about when we were going to break up (we were planning on it being in a year because that’s when he goes off to college) but a few days later i started having anxiety out of the blue. We figured it was because of relationship stress, so over the course of a couple weeks we tried everything (acting just like friends, a temporary break up, spending less time together) until we ran out of options and we decided that we should break up to see if it fixed my anxiety. We broke up on the terms that we would not date anyone else until he goes off to college, because we still had romantic feelings for each other and wanted that safety net. It didn’t solve my anxiety but i eventually got over it by the end of the month. Then, he told me he was interested in a girl and he wanted to date her. My anxiety came back and we tried to deal with both of these at the same time. I couldn’t eat regularly for many weeks and he was beating himself up for it. He decided it would be best for him to just stay friends with her, but my anxiety still didn’t go away because it was bothering me so much that he liked someone else. Eventually i offered for us to do a period of NC until he leaves next month for his internship (and i will not regularly see him past this point). He broke down and had a panic attack over the possibility of me not being his friend, and he said i was more important than liking any girl. He said he couldn’t function without me being there for him. We agreed not to do it and for me to fight through with my anxiety until he leaves. Several days later he said that he’s pretty much over this girl, because it takes a traumatic incident for him to get over any girl (he says it happens every time, and that panic attack over losing me counted as one). This solved my anxiety for a while but then it came back. I made a plan for us to work on our friendship by me going over to his house sometimes once he starts his internship so we can watch movies and play videogames and stuff. No kissing or hugging or relationship things until i’ve been over there several times and it’s been several months after he starts his internship. We figure that would give me enough time of not seeing him every day to get over him. We are still best friends, and we really want to work this out. This all started mid-september and my anxiety has been coming and going since then. I’ve lost about 30 pounds from irregular eating and he does blame himself. I have been working on getting over him but last night i had a dream that we kissed and it’s been hard today. I feel like he is a different person than he was when we were dating. I don’t know if it’s healthy to want him back or for us to ever date in the future. We both have so many more choices once we go to college. He is my best friend but i also fear him, and i don’t want to anymore. I want to be able to eat regularly and stop being scared of life. It hurts him a lot that i feel this way and we both want this to stop. I need to get over him but it’s just taking so long. Do you have any advice?
Tarz

December 17, 2013 at 1:17 am

Hey, okay so my ex broke up with me just over three months ago because he apparently could not be the boyfriend that I deserved (although I know that this was probably just an excuse, I do have some reason to believe it.) Anyway, he said that hopefully he will be able to get his life together and maybe in a few months we can try again.
I undertook the no contact rule, and this lasted just over a month. We have only just begun to regularly talk again, which he initiated. We have been messaging back and fourth, he has even been giving me compliments, and it was basically like nothing much had changed. He was also asking if we could meet up soon. He also recently apologised for what had happened between us and said that he would message me the next day. I responded by also apologising for what had happened. He did not reply to my apology and it has now been about 4 days since we last spoke. I was just wondering, did I do something wrong? Or does he just not want to talk to me anymore? Also, do you think he may still like me? Because I think I am still in love with him. Should I message him?
Thank you xo

admin

December 17, 2013 at 6:49 pm

I would only message him after a period of NC.

Lillian

December 16, 2013 at 12:20 pm

What should I exactly do If we’ve no trust between us since he cheated on me … and I gave him another chance and he actually changed but then I found he’s hiding a lot of things … then I lied … about a lot of things … now he broke up with me … I feel this relationship is failing but … for some reason I really want both of us change while I do have the upper hand and build trust between us … HELP!
Karin

December 14, 2013 at 4:39 pm

Hi Chris,
I was seeing my ex for 8 months. We broke up in October but lingered into November. The break up was due to the fact that I felt his effort in the relationship was lacking – we had a few major fights leading up to the break up, I felt like I was carrying the relationship. While I initiated the break up, I feel like I am the one who got dumped. I did no contact for about 20 days but then called him just to catch up. He ended the convo first. In the week after that I called to see how his dad was doing (he was in the hospital), he waited 3 days to respond and then text back only to respond about his dad and that’s it. I have not responded for a few days. Should I respond? Should I go back to no contact? The fact that he is taking days to respond, is that a clear enough sign that he’s not interested but is responding to be nice? I’m caught in the place of do I drop this and let him figure his life out, and I move on or should I try?

Karin

December 18, 2013 at 2:57 am

Ok, I responded, saying I had meant to respond sooner, was busy, tied in a “remember when…”, and ended the text saying something nice about his father being better. I think I’m going to go back into NC for 30 since I didn’t fully complete it, and I probably need it for myself too. My only question is, is it a positive that he responds to my texts even though he is responding days later? His responses are neutral – answering the text but not engaging in convo. What do you think?
admin

December 18, 2013 at 6:36 pm

Yes I think that is a really smart idea!

Roxanne

December 8, 2013 at 11:59 pm

So it’s been only 14 hours since we broke up I have been in NC since I left his home. He texted he was not worth it and said he erased my number then texts me 5 minutes later saying goodbye forever I didn’t respond. The last hour he sent me a video of a song I had dedicated to him and then 2hours later sends a text saying hey? Should I respond or stay NC what if he wants to fix things ? What should I do ? Sorry typed super fast in a hurry !! Thanks

admin

December 9, 2013 at 7:19 pm

stay NC at this point.

Nancy

November 27, 2013 at 6:02 pm

So I am on day 20 of nc. I have not heard from my ex in over a week. I am starting to think he is not thinking of me at all and getting really discouraged. What do you think?
Vivian

November 26, 2013 at 3:55 pm

Hi Chris,

I contacted my ex with the first text a few days ago. It went really well, but I messed up because I didn’t cut it off. We ended up texting back and forth from 2-10 pm. I haven’t texted him since and haven’t heard from him. My question is how long should I wait before I send him another text? I wanted to also throw in that he’s still seeing the girl he has been with since we broke up. They got together within a few days of our break up and it’s been about 3 months.

Thanks!