How To Contact Your Ex Boyfriend- When and How To Do It Right

649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”

Ariel

June 15, 2014 at 12:12 pm

Me and my ex were together for 6months, we were eachothers first loves. Throughout that period he would start huge arguments out of no where and then finally he broke up with me saying he’s too “insecure” and it’s not the right time in his life, I broke the no contact rule 3days after we broke up asking him to come her his stuff he agreed but then blew me off for his mates an hour before he was ment to show up . I want him back? Do you think he will show interest if I do the no contact rule for 30days?
Alayne

June 4, 2014 at 7:06 pm

Hi Chris,
I and my bf of two years broke up due to distance we have been experiencing the last 9 months. I put two months of NC and then contacted him with a friendly mail that he answered a day after as well in a friendly way. I am planning to send him a second message or email this weekend after a concert of a band he introduced me. I am planning to write the following: “Hi, I was at the Band A’s concert yesterday and when song B started playing I just thought of you and the first time we went to concert together. It was a lovely day, wasn’t it? and the thought of that day made me happy and I wanted to share it with you. Take care.” Do you think it is a message that can be sent or how should I revise it? Thanks for suggestions in advance
Erin

June 3, 2014 at 3:40 pm

Hello Chris,

I had an LDR of two years. We called it quits due to different expectations, and career plans. He basically said he doesn’t see a place he can put me in his future when he closes his eyes. Anyways. We broke up and I was fine for awhile. Then I sent him a long and sad e-mail saying I wish we had never experienced the distance and stuff but I know I have to get used to the thing ‘we are not together anymore.’ 3 days later, I contacted him asking if we can Skype one last time to figure the common things and some money stuff out. He did not answer. 6 days later, I got his love letter that he sent earlier through post, and I got it after we broke up. That made me sad. So I texted him saying that I got the letter and it made me think about our decision twice, we should definitely talk and etc. He briefly said he has so many things to say as well and he will call me. But he did not. Instead he sent me an email saying that this decision is the right thing, under different circumstances maybe it could be different, but both distance and feelings just signal that we should break up and etc. Later we talked once more about our feelings and thoughts because I insisted on it, and broke up totally. Those happen in 8 days. Later I went for 54 days of NC. But I terribly miss him. I contacted him twice but both friendly and a week apart. He did not wait too long and answered back in a day in a friendly way but in the second email he sent me all details of how happy life he has, which made me totally sad because I thought he’s totally moved on and trying to show me how right the decision was. Another week is passing. I am planning to contact him again but this time it will be about a time we went to concert with. Shortly saying, “I went to this concert and the place reminded me of you and the first time we went to that band’s concert together. It was fun. Anyways, hope you are doing fine.” But after all the things I told, I am afraid no matter how many texts I send or how many pages of your method I read, I feel like I cannot get him back. Please tell me how my mistakes in the beginning will affect the situation and if there is a chance to get him back. Thanks for reading.

admin

June 5, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Did you read my LDR guide yet?
Erin

June 6, 2014 at 12:03 am

I did. But I am tend to listen to my heart and do stupid things rather than understanding the fact you are giving in that article. I guess I need to hear the ultimate thing out of someone’s mouth.

Ba0

April 14, 2014 at 4:03 am

So. Long distant Boyfriend of 6 months; we’ve been in short contact a few years prior; we broke up about two weeks ago. He has more baggage than I do: ex wife and just two weeks ago sold their remaining house; as for me, this is my first boyfriend in about 6 years, I’ve never really known ‘love’ until maybe him?
I’ve already sent him a long essay three days after he broke up with me. The break up came as an utter surprise because I felt that we were in love. I went on a short vacation and came back to him being distant. I was careful about it and not showing how stressed and angry it was making me. I told him I wanted to skype; he broke up with me the following night I got back. This is his reason:
He wants to figure himself out. There’s too much going on and he doesn’t know where this relationship is going and wants to work on something for the future. He’s confused and not sure if he even wants babies, marriage, to continue in his career (although that’s one of the things that’s stressing him out – architecture). I’ve never asked for babies or marriage and I share his work struggles (architect too); I’ve only asked in the beginning for a serious relationship. He did say I am the type of girl he wants to be with but he doesn’t want me to be with him because it’s not my responsibility to help him figure himself out. That he needs to figure things out himself. He even said that ‘we have great sex and a lot in common’.. but coincide that at another point of the conversation he tells me that he wasn’t sure if he ever though of me as more than a friend (that really hurt, especially after I believed him when he told me he loved me. Not sure if I’ll ever believe those words again.). He was upset that I didn’t really acknowledged him as my boyfriend, I’ve never really said it. But then again he’s told me in the past that he doesn’t like labels and would get serious with one person. I also never told him that I love him. I digress, another reason is our long distance situation. We are about 400 miles away and aim to see each other once every two weeks. It is exhausting both physically, financially and mentally. He was planning on moving to NYC where I am but he claims that his family abroad is thinking of moving to his town and he might be there much longer in terms of years. I told him that I wanted to wait for him to settle and figure things out. He said that wouldn’t be anytime soon.
Chris, do you have any advice on a solution? I know I broke the 30 day rule, I emailed him an essay and in the end I asked if he will be okay to talk at a specific date and time (2wks after email sent). He has not responded in over a week so far. I don’t want to risk him going to another woman. They would jump at the chance, and after a while he’ll yearn for the physical. I’m long distance so it’s a long shot he’ll be knocking on my door.

I literally googled “my boyfriend broke up with me, how do I get him back?”. My mind has been a wreak..
Not simply because I was dismissed by the man who I have a lot in common and great sex, as he poignantly puts during our skype break up.. But because I immediately started to look at myself and what I could better to make him want me again. I got into the question, what do I really want to do/be/go in the future. While I am going out, working out, working to find a new job and upgrade anything that I can immediately fix right now.. The most common advice would be for me to give him space and work on myself and continue that. I’ve been doing that and will not stop working on myself. But I want a partner to share my life experiences with, not anybody… just him.

Erin

June 3, 2014 at 3:49 pm

Same here.
I am going through the same situation.
I insisted on breaking up because he pissed me off and in the end he said frankly he is sorry but he doesn’t see me in his future life. So we broke up. I sent him a long email about how sorry I am and wishing we never did the mistakes we have done and never experienced the distance on the day after we broke up. Later a week, I told him to talk and try to give a second chance because he sent me a love letter the day before we broke up that he loves me and he wants to spend his life with me. So I did not believe it could change in a day. But the last time we talked he was determined and believed that he and I did the right thing. I started working on myself, doing sports, vacations, new friends, new hobbies, looking for new job and trying to move to a new city. I contacted him and he was friendly but that is it. I don’t want anybody but him. We have so many common interests, same dreams, great sex…So I am afraid he will not want to try again as i know him and he never changes his mind. But I just wanted to say, i feel you and good luck with everything. Hope he will come back.
admin

April 14, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Have you read the LDR article?

Jenny

April 6, 2014 at 6:37 am

Hi!

I met my boyfriend in Switzerland. (same college) We dated since last October’13 (so about six months) then this February, I came to Korea for my six months of internship… Now Im going back to Switzerland on August. My boyfriend and I were doing okay at the beginning (texting everyday skyping…etc). However, as I get busy and he gets busy, we didn’t really talk. Then one day I told him I am feeling lonely and why is it so hard to talk to my boyfriend blablah Then he replied me, saying that he’s sorry and he was away all day without his phone. Because of time difference, I didn’t really reply that message. That was tuesday. Then for other three days I didnt get any text from him, so on friday, I called him. He got the phone, I asked what he is up to, he says he’s going to Milan with his friends… I was miserably doing so bad until friday and he is going on a trip. So I couldn’t hold my emotion, I cried, and said I cannot do this anymore. By saying that, I didnt mean to say as in lets break up but he got it that way. I talked to him few days later saying that Im sorry that I said that and hope we are okay. But what he said was, why am I doing this, he thought I wanted to break up with him, he never heard anything worse than what I said to him.. I felt so bad I said its miscommunication and misunderstanding that I didnt mean it that way. But he’s like you shouldnt have said that Im sorry I cant talk. Then few hours later, he called me, and said we should take a break cuz he feels so bad he never heard a girl crying so sad on the phone, he doesnt want to hurt me anymore. I asked him if he still has feeling for me and he said yes ofcourse I do have feeling for you. Then he asked me to talk tomorrow again. So the next day he called me again, his voice was all in sorrow, he says he cannot do this for five months, lets break up but we can always try.
Since I am going back to Switzerland on August, I feel that we can get back together when I go back, but I’m just worried if he will still have feeling for me until then. I don’t think he will get a new girl friend cuz I know that he is not that type of guy who will get a new girl straight away.
Im planning to let him have some space and time, Im just hoping him to text me first but after I read this article, Im gonna wait for a month first.

What should I do? Help me =(
Sunny

March 30, 2014 at 9:00 pm

Hi Chris, I was with my ex for 6 months a year ago (we were friends before) he broke it off due to attachment issues (he said) told me it wasn’t my fault… I did no contact and then met with him a month or so later, but he still said he couldn’t cope with a relationship. He has now text out of the blue just saying he keeps seeing me around etc (I haven’t noticed him). We had a nice text chat but I kept it brief and didn’t ask too many questions, I ended to conversation but was happy and said it was good to speak to him he said yes you too. My question is do I wait to hear from him again? I really like him but I don’t want him to tell me he’s not interested again. Thanks! X
Emily

March 30, 2014 at 8:44 am

Hello, feel very stupid!

So my boyfriend and I were together for 11months. We bought a house together, I lied about stupid things like money, my car. For a while he was acting strange wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. Eventually told me it was because of the lies, said he couldn’t live with it. I never cheated on him or treated him badly. Often he would tell me I was the person girlfriend he had ever had. A lot of friends would comment on how different I am to his ex wife and ex girlfriends. Now he’s ex wife cheated on him. Which in turn left him very damaged with major trust issues. I feel stupid and foolish for lying. I really love him. Is there any way I can fix this? And of course I was stupid and txted him a million times. We only broke up 3 days. What can I do please help!

Thanks – broken hearted.
Franny

March 30, 2014 at 1:56 am

Hi,
Although this would work if your ex was ‘normal’ and had some emotions but knowing what my ex is like i know if i left him alone for 30 days he would love it. Probably because his phone would not be getting 50+ missed calls plus the txts! So im not sure that would help?
Sandy

March 29, 2014 at 6:37 am

Hello.
My ex and I started dating a little over a week after we met. We dated for about a month and a half before he asked me to be his girlfriend. Things were really good between us until we got into a relationship. Then we were together for exactly a month until he broke it off. He told me he liked me but he just didn’t want a girlfriend in general. With this being said, he wanted to continue dating me. This went on for 2 weeks until we went out with some friends and they noticed he just wasn’t reciprocating my affection the way he used to. I talked to him about it and we ended up just breaking things off for good and remaining friends. I later found out he had lost interest in me and it hurt because it was for reasons I had control over. Another thing is we never had sex or anything close to that. After our absolute split, I went a week without talking to him and when I texted him, we talked throughout the day like normal. Tonight I found out he was hanging out with some girl and even though she is probably just a friend, I can’t help but worry that he is getting into her. Although my feelings are starting to slowly wear off, the truth is i still want him. I feel if I don’t contact him, I am basically leaving the path free for that girl or any girl in general and I feel defenseless. What should I do?
Romay

March 28, 2014 at 10:16 pm

i had dating my boyfriend for 2 years than we breakup & now we have 1 year & half from the break but i really do love him & now we are talking together & really do want him to love me like before but notice my bf date another girls after me & the same for me so …. anyways i realy do want to make him love me again cause i love him so much i swear his everything to me & now when he talk to me i feel like he doesn’t care anymore & hate me so can you plz help as soon u can
Maria

March 26, 2014 at 1:21 pm

Hi.
I had been dating my boyfriend for seven months. One night during one of our usual outings, I mentioned that a movie he chose for us to watch was stupid (we always teased each other about trivial things like that) and he physically pulled away from me and was distant the rest of the night. He drove me home and said that he did not want to talk about matter, especially when I tried to apologize for my comment and then he proceeded to ignore me for two days. Eventually, I was able to confront him about it face to face and he said that it was over and refused to further discuss things. I was completely blown away, because prior to this things had been fine between us and that is the puzzling part. I honestly saw no signs of an impending split. I think I would like to give this relationship one more chance despite the abrupt way he decided to end things. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

admin

March 26, 2014 at 5:48 pm

What was his reasoning for the breakup?

Stace

March 25, 2014 at 8:36 pm

Hey chris i have kind of a goofy question, but its serious at the same time haha. My ex used to live with me & I just got a reminder in my mail for him saying he has a dental appt next week. I need to let him know, but I’m not sure how. I am 3 days away from 30 days NC so I am going to wait until after the 30. But how can I text him about this and sound happy/positive etc?! He only contacted me once at day 10 to let me know about rent he owes me and I ignored him of course. So, what do u think I should say?

admin

March 26, 2014 at 5:10 pm

Nope, can’t break NC. He should remember his own dental appointment anyways.
Stace

March 26, 2014 at 5:33 pm

Hahaha I know. I’m not going to break it with only 3 days left! I’m just wondering the best way to communicate it to him AFTER the 30 days is up? Thanks Chris!

Emma

March 23, 2014 at 9:17 pm

Hi Chris, I have been dating this guy since December he seemed really lovely, then all of a sudden when I asked if “we’re ok” he started talking about an ex who broke his heart and he’s not sure if he’s ready for a relationship, I was so upset as I thought things were going well he’d introduced me to his friends and we were spending lots of time together, he lives a long way from me but we both made the effort to see each other, he even bought me a bday present its been 3 days since I saw and spoke to him I have a feeling its over but I want clarification on things and want to meet with him to get this! at the same time I want him back I am so confused as I thought things were great, what do I do? E

admin

March 24, 2014 at 5:49 pm

Well, you two are technically still dating right?

Just talk to him. Talk about how you are feeling like he is pulling away.

Cassandra

March 14, 2014 at 7:38 am

Hi Chris,
I’ve been( or I was )in a long distance relationship with my bf for 5 month . We were texting everyday day and night .. A week ago I was texting him as usually we do on weekend , but he didn’t replied at all , however I could see he was reading my messages and I got very upset . After few messages , I told him that if he was not aware of phone showing messages read ,that I could see he read my messages , he didn’t replied until 7 hours later saying . Sorry I was out with my girls and now we are about to have dinner . I didn’t replied at all . The next day he texted me and I didn’t replied , the following day did the same thing and I didn’t replied . I texted him 2 days later and this time he didn’t reply back to me . The next day I’ve sent another text and he replied as soon as I’ve sent him a messages that I won’t bother anymore , so he texted me right away. He was completely ignoring me via text ,so I cut off conversation . He told me that we will talk next day , so I texted him the next day and he was doing the same again no answering my text , I stupidly sent bunch of text messages and he replied at night . I asked him to be honest with me that if he doesn’t want the relationship to let me know , so I can move on . He replied saying , I don’t know to be honest with you. The way you reacted rally threw me off.. Then I stupidly asked .Is that means you don’t want this anymore ? And he replied , I don’t know right now. I am trying to be a good single dad And maybe it’s not fair that I have enough time to give anything else right now.. I said but you are a good dad , and he replied saying ,Im now trying to watch tv with them .. my last replied was this .. Ok . I’m not there and the time with me is via text . You making things harder for me , by not telling what you want here .. I let you watch the Tv with your girls .. Either way , have a goodnight sweetheart . This was our last conversation 5 days ago and we haven’t contact each other since then . Do you think that I have a chance to get him back ? What should I do next ? Should just wait until he contacts me ? Please help ?

Cassandra

March 15, 2014 at 3:20 pm

Hi Chris ,
Please help me here .. Should i contact him ir should i wait until he contacts me ? 🙁 . Should i applied 30 day even if he says he doesn’t know if he wants our relationship ..

Thank you very much for your help .
Cassandra

March 20, 2014 at 10:54 pm

Is this Chris ??
admin

March 21, 2014 at 6:19 am

Yes?
Dan

March 20, 2014 at 8:24 am

He is being very distant towards you. You need to get out of the relationship and move on to someone who actually cares about your feelings and treats you better. I am sorry to say this, but this guy is not that into you and in fact, he may be using you for either sex or money when the need arises. I’m not sure which one, but you would know which one. I hope you are able to move on soon because everyone deserves someone who will reciprocate their love. If you aren’t receiving it in this relationship, then it is time to let it go.

Anne

March 11, 2014 at 2:10 pm

Hi Chris,

I am almost everyday in ur blog ,I love read it.

So I txt my ex to get my sweeter back! This was the txt!

Hola Chico:) como estas? I need to get my sweater my dad gave me, I left there the last time I saw you, when do u have a free time so I can get it?

He took like 20 minutes to reply,

He txt back ” hola chica 🙂 sorry I just responded. I just got home from a 5 hour drive from thief river falls for work. I leave tomorrow for a work conference but I will be back on Sunday.

And I took 10minutes to reply back!

Hola:) that’s okay, oh nice, sounds fun your conference, so I will txt back on Sunday or Monday to check ur agenda for next week, have fun! Night night.

And he took 2 minutes to reply!
Okay sounds good chica. Have a good weekend, night night.

So it was on Wednesday happened. But I didn’t txt him in Sunday and Monday I was thinking txt him today Tuesday afternoon so he txt me today in the morning at 7 am saying!

Hola! Sorry I didn’t get back until late on Sunday and now I am in Iowa:/ so sick of traveling. I will be back Thursday thought I think.

I txt him back after 10 minutes saying!

Hola Miguel 🙂 that’s okay I know sometimes u travel a lot and Also I found ur socks at home that u let me use to do snowboarding! It’s clean and match ! ill give it back. I will txt u back on Thursday to see if u got home 🙂 Drive safe!

(I wrote that cuz we used to have fun to try find his shocks and match it we used to talk and laught a lot and we went do do snowboarding together two weeks before we broke up and it was fun).

So he txt me back!

Kk sounds good chica!

So we didn’t talk for over 2weeks and I broke the silence cuz my sweater is there. Just I was wondering why he was the first one to txt me if I was going to txt him and I end up not! Do u think he was worried? Yeah he travels a lot cuz his job. Do u think he start to wonder what I have been doing or missing me? He was nice in his txts and we used pet names.. I am just curious, I am thinking if he is scary to see me and talk! I believe he went to this conference cuz I drove close to his house and I saw everything was dark, we live close so I am obligate to drive to his street everyday cuz my job. So what do u think He is thinking? I need an advice please.

I hope he is not reading this blog lol…

Anne

March 12, 2014 at 3:01 pm

Hi Chris, please answer me… I need a man head on that situation! I don’t want to do mistakes… I know you are super busy but just tell me what do you think about my comment on the top! Thanks.

Anny

March 10, 2014 at 10:01 am

i cheated on my boyfriend and brokeup with him…he came in a relation ryt after some months of our breakup..he loved me so much..i am his first love and now i realised that i love him and want him back from his new girlfriend..but the things we have no contact with eachother..i dont have his number..we study in the same college..and we both dont talk to eachother..hes always with his new gf around….what shud i do to get him back again??pls help
Ashley

March 5, 2014 at 12:26 am

my ex and i broke up and he stopped talking to me. he wouldnt answer any of my texts. a week later he responded to me after i called him. he didnt give me any answers but he congratulated me on my band selling out a local bar/restaurant that he obviously didnt come to. i asked how he knew about that and he said he was at that bar the next day and asked about it. but he still wont answer any questions about us. is he taking space? what should i do?

admin

March 5, 2014 at 5:27 pm

Just give him some space. He isn’t ready to talk about you guys yet and that is ok.
Ashley

March 6, 2014 at 5:02 am

so you think he will come around again?
admin

March 7, 2014 at 6:33 am

I think the two of you will talk eventually yes.
Ashley

March 7, 2014 at 7:28 am

thanks i hope so! youre the best

Jen

February 25, 2014 at 10:40 pm

My ex broke up with me 3 days ago. We had gone away to a wedding the weekend before we broke up and fought the entire time. He did not want to go to the wedding and spent a great deal of money on it. For the first week we got home he talked to me with no feeling then Friday he said we could meet up and talk. We spent most of the night talking about other things fell asleep and he woke me up and said he was still mad at me. We talked for an additional 4 hours and things seemed to be going in the right direction. He told me to spend the night bc it was extremely late so I did. When we woke in the morning we were having a good morning and I asked if things could work out. He told me he didn’t know and that he doesn’t see a future with me and don’t I deserve a guy who sees one with me? He said he had given things a year and doesn’t know if they can be fixed or if he wants to try. I said I can work on things give me one month to make things better and if he still isn’t happy then we can go our separate ways. He told me he can’t promise he can give me that and he feels like in one month we will be having the same conversation. He said why didn’t I think about that or take him seriously for the past year? I begged and pleaded with him and took my stuff and said if I leave we will never talk again. He said wait and we talked a few more minutes and I ended up leaving then called him up saying how could you let me leave?? I went home crying with him on the phone told him I love him for the first time and he said he wishes he could say it back. I said I can’t just be friends with him not with how I feel for him and he said he would be very sad if we never spoke again. Since then everyday he has called and texted. I even asked him to hangout Monday night and he said ok. We hung out and we even cuddled on his couch when I said I was cold. Nothing about our relationship has been brought up since Sunday and I am not sure what to do. He had mentioned maybe needing time and I said how long and he said he doesn’t know however long he needs. What do I do? I feel like he is texting me and checking up bc he feels bad for me. He had mentioned not wanting to be with anyone or in a relationship period. I just don’t understand why he keeps me informed about what he is doing. He also got jealous when I mentioned a guy looking at my car (who happens to be out mechanic) I think he blanked out for a second and thought I meant someone else. I have never seen him get jealous until now. What do I do?

Kass

March 3, 2014 at 10:13 pm

I went out with my boyfriend for about three months. He one day came up to me and said he was breaking up with me. I practically cried on the spot, because I loved him, and our relationship went so well. He asked me out later that day after we had talked, and then decided he wasn’t ready and diddnt want to hurt anyone. This same pattern was repeated about 4 times, and so I got a bit mad. But I diddnt show it. But after our break up, I couldent help but message him Rey couple of weeks. Then we were out of contact for about 15 days, but then resumed contact. I am now worried I have come across as desperate and have no chance, hope you can help – Kass 🙂
admin

February 27, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Have the two of you tried having any serious talks?

Lanae

February 15, 2014 at 6:08 am

I started the no contact 5 days ago but my ex keep texting and calling me. I want him back but I think no contact will get him to realize that he could really lose me for good. What should I do? Reply or stay quiet?

admin

February 15, 2014 at 6:21 pm

Stay quiet.
Lanae

February 17, 2014 at 8:24 pm

Thanks becauase he text and call everyday and I have a feeling he might pop up at my house. What to do if that happen. It’s always been hard for me to turn him away so I think Im getting to him my fingers are crossed that this will work if not oh well at least I tried.

Amber

February 12, 2014 at 1:14 pm

So my ex broke up with me before I left on a trip saying he loved me less and less each day and he wasn’t ready for a relationship. I didn’t contact him when I got back. In total it was about 2.5 weeks total no contact and I received a text from him asking to swap our things, I was civil and agreed we should but made sure to end the conversation myself. I did send him a couple little texts reminding him of positive memories always saying I was too busy to talk. I was able to play it cool when we met, we talked for maybe half an hour inside when I said I had to go then we were outside standing in slush in freezing weather we talked for at least an hour and I discovered he still loves me but he thinks we should work on ourselves and hopefully some day in the future we could try again.
I see him tomorrow and would love ANYONE’S OPINION ON THIS. I think I’m going to tell him that I’ll always love him and that of he really loved me he’d want to be by my side and we could grow as a team. That I could deal with not seeing him during the semester and that I’m scared to leave everything the way it is because I know is be waiting saying “it’s okay I love him” and if he found another girl it would crush me (he told me he went on a couple dates with another girl while I was gone).
I think it’s the only way he’ll think of me while I’m gone, otherwise he’ll be able to accept that he broke up with me and he’ll get over me. When I see him I’m going to give him the best day ever of us being friends, remind him of positive aspects of our relationship, show that I’ve worked on myself (losing at cards and not being childish about it) etc. And then tell him at the end of the day and enter NC for 1-2 months before coming out of hiding and contacting add suggested on this site.
We have been texting the way we used to (very positive) and I’ve maintained a positive attitude and been very supportive so hopefully he’ll miss that. My last words to him will be you’ll never find another girl like me and kiss him on the cheek. It’s the best plan I have.
Ideas? 🙂 sorry for typos or grammar issues this was written on my phone!

admin

February 12, 2014 at 7:44 pm

Have you read my guide on seeing an ex in person?

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649 thoughts on “This Is How You Should Contact Your Ex Boyfriend”