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171 thoughts on “How To Ask Your Ex Boyfriend To Be In A Relationship With You”

  1. NClover

    May 18, 2015 at 12:12 am

    Hey Chris! I hope you really do the coching soon…

    I went NC 30 days, yesterday I broke silence and we had a conversation, it went like this:

    Me: Hey! Ypu wouldn’t guess what I saw today!
    (20 min later) Him: What did you saw today?
    (30 minutes later) Me: A white pomeranian that looked like a fox, it reminded me of Fulgi haha. Anyway, I’ll leave cause I’m in a rush. Good night!
    (20 min later) Him: Goodbye, have a good night.
    (3 hours later) Me: Thanks! You too. Hope you have a tasty dinner.
    (3 hours later) Him: I know what it feels like to see something that reminds me of us, and wanting to show it to the other person, I really do. But we can’t do this.
    Each one should go their path, and if we ever run to each other, great, we will say hi like good friends we were, and then we will go on with our lives, but I don’t wanna be your friend.
    There’s a small note on the “Figh club” book, I guess you already read it.
    Don’t reply to this message, just read it and delete our conversation.
    And in the future you should buy a pomeranian šŸ˜›
    Goodbye.

    i dunno what to do. I haven’t reply for obvious reasons and I guess that I should just move on. Also, the note he is referring to basically said that he loved me and that he was going to miss me and that he had to live alone and pursue his dreams alone.

    1. NClover

      May 21, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      Hahaha! Well, it would be quite mental on my side to comment if I didn’t appreciate your answer šŸ˜› haha

      You think so? Even with the “Each one should go their path, and if we ever run to each other, great, we will say hi like good friends we were, and then we will go on with our lives, but I donā€™t wanna be your friend. Donā€™t reply to this message, just read it and delete our conversation.”? haha

    2. NClover

      May 20, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      Hahahahahaha! That makes sense haha, and you thought I wwas just a crazy fan haha

      So what do you think about what he said?

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 21, 2015 at 3:33 pm

      Haha I was kind of like..

      Umm… why did you comment if you didn’t want me to respond.

      Makes a lot more sense now.

      I think that, that little string of messages was very positive.

    4. NClover

      May 19, 2015 at 7:41 pm

      Or did you meant “Did you not want me to respond to this?”. I just think he is trying to manipulate me.

    5. Chris Seiter

      May 20, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      I thought you were talking to me haha.

    6. NClover

      May 19, 2015 at 7:37 pm

      No I didn’t respond. He is so full of himself, isn’t he?

    7. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 6:28 pm

      Did you not me to respond to this?

  2. Pie

    May 17, 2015 at 10:45 am

    My ex never initiate contact but whenever I text him, he text back kinda positively. He is also very open of the idea seeing each other again to return things, but he doesn’t say when exactly. I cant figure out how he feels about me me now. We may have a hang out with mutual friend in the next few days, any suggestions on what to act when I see him again? I mean to be attracted to him šŸ˜› Thank you Chris !

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 6:23 pm

      I would just ask him out a few days from now.

  3. nicole

    May 15, 2015 at 9:00 pm

    Hi Chris,

    My ex lives states away. He wanted me to move there but I wouldn’t unless we were engaged. He says we are too off an on for him to propose but if I move there he would get there after being assured I wouldn’t just walk away. We broke up over this. I did NC …and of course, he contacted after two weeks saying he loves me and wishes I wouldn’t have thrown our love away. Never the less, nothing has changed and I told him we want different things. Don’t you think he would propose if that’s what it took to get me back?

    1. nicole

      May 20, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      Hi Chris,

      Thanks for replying. I did NC and he contacted me a little over two weeks, begging for me back. So it definitely works! BUT I was kind but said we wanted different things in life. He said that wasn’t true. However he is now all over social media and trying to talk to one girl in particular. Is this his way of coping or is he going to contact again?

      I didn’t respond to his last text and went NC again.

      Also, I am usually one to express my jealousy but I haven’t said a peep. Please give me some insight!

    2. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 5:44 pm

      How long of a NC did you do?

  4. Kavya

    May 15, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    Your most welcome!
    Yes you mentioned your b’day in a post and after you gave me free e-book getting impressed from buffy reference to your post so I felt that you are such a lovely person and so I remembered to wish you! (:
    Well I don’t know but I also have lil idea that maybe your wife’s b’day comes between 23 sept-22 oct. Do tell me if I’m right…. (:

    1. KAVYA

      May 25, 2015 at 7:24 am

      Sept, 25th and 26th…nice coincidence!
      Well I’m not Buffy fan but I am fan of your writing skills and I like the way you use Buffy and all other references here at EBR.
      Hey Chris once I sent an e-mail on voyager, I really wanted to thank you for something! (:

    2. Chris Seiter

      June 2, 2015 at 2:21 am

      Well, thanks for being such a fan.

      Sorry I am late to respond.

      Everything has really been piling up lately.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 5:40 pm

      September 25th!

      Ironic my dad’s is September 26th.

      So, you are a big Buffy fan?

  5. Dee

    May 15, 2015 at 3:49 am

    Hey Chris! My ex and I broke up about 6 months ago after 2 1/2 years together. Lately we have been chatting daily, he initiates 100% of the conversations. He has flirted with me and confided in me. Hes invited me out with his friends and the last time we were all together, his friends called us love birds and made sexual jokes and acted like we were back together and he didn’t correct them. He paid for me the entire night and we shared desserts at the restaurant. We have become extremely comfortable and close with each other. But he hasn’t made any real moves on me yet. He’s always complimenting me and saying “I need a girl like you”. He’ll pet my hair and try to make me laugh. He’ll hug me and even squeeze me. But no kisses. Nothing sexual. I really want him to make a romantic move on me. Do you think he’s waiting for me to say it’s okay? Should I make the first move next time?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 5:31 pm

      Have you read my guide on how to make him kiss you?

  6. Taryn

    May 14, 2015 at 9:14 pm

    Hi Chris šŸ˜€

    I like this article. Definitely helps me to have more of an idea of how to approach Ryan with relationship talk. Haha. Before we broke up, we were never an official boyfriend and girlfriend couple. But this helps for him and I to make it happen for the first time. I hope he’d initiate asking me to be his girlfriend, but it might be me doing it. He’s very stubborn. Lol. We’ll get there :]

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 19, 2015 at 5:28 pm

      Yes, I figured this is one of those topics I hadn’t really covered very well so far.

  7. Caroline

    May 14, 2015 at 11:54 am

    Ah. Well we tick these boxes.
    After NC there have been many friendly, extremely flirty and complimentary chats. Especially as I look better than I ever have in my life right now. I pretty much get told off by him for being so tempting.

    I don’t understand why he’s still with the woman he left me for. It’s everything he said he didn’t want in a relationship. Non stop fighting (often about me). Even his friends tell him he was crazy to give me up.
    I can’t get him alone for a proper private chat, he’s not really allowed to be talking to me at all. He had such freedom with me, so I am confused. Is a stressful relationship really what men want? They moan about nagging but I’m starting to think men actually like it.
    I’m torn between asking him why, what did I do wrong (because we never argued so I have no idea) so I can move on and playing the game and being ungettable.
    Life is too short to keep on waiting. I can’t let go without answers, but getting answers may ruin a chance of getting him back.

    1. Caroline

      July 17, 2015 at 8:20 am

      Just to update as this site was useful.
      My efforts and waiting paid off!

    2. Caroline

      May 14, 2015 at 4:29 pm

      Almost a year on and off. They split up and get back together on a regular basis.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2015 at 3:57 pm

      How long has he been with the woman for exactly?

  8. Kate

    May 14, 2015 at 10:56 am

    Hey Chris,

    I’ve completed the NC successfully, messaged my ex last week.
    He’s responding quick and very well. I ended the conversation.
    Next day texted him again – had a nice little chat, he’d send me kissing emoticons etc.
    After a day of silence messaged him again, and again the next day getting responses all the time in the 50-50 ratio or even him texting a tad more. On day 4 of texting he said “now I miss you, I knew texting was a good idea” I said I missed the talking and asked that I assume catching up on Skype isn’t an option then. He got very enthusiastic about it and wanted to Skype right away! and so we skyped, it was nice, very friendly, much more feeling in the friend zone though šŸ™
    however soon after the skype he send me a kissing heart face… Chatted briefly next day post skype and that’s it.

    It’s been 2 silent days and I am wondering if I should keep instigating the texting all the time???
    I hoped he’d take the initiative after a few great chats and now I’m not sure:
    – is he friend zoning me?
    – is it too much too soon and I should implement a mini, say 1 week NC?
    – should I wait for him to text or just keep on starting the conversations?

    Thnaks

    1. Kate

      May 14, 2015 at 11:02 am

      Obviously, which you probably gathered from Skype, we’re talking LDR

  9. Jessie

    May 13, 2015 at 9:20 pm

    Hi Chris! Happy late birthday and thank you for all the work you do to help us out! I have a somewhat unique situation as I don’t think I’ve seen anything about this in any blogs yet.
    I am 2.5 weeks into no-contact with my husband after he left me. The last 2 weekends I’ve found things in my mailbox that I know were from him (not received by post, left in the mailbox). Just two separate occasions, two separate objects. They are cheap things under $5 that I had asked him to make/pick up for me before he left me.
    The strange thing about this is that the first time he left me an object in the mail, he would not have been in the area so it would have been a 50 km drive. The second time, he would have been in the area so only a 15 km detour to bring it to the mailbox. But also making/getting the objects in the first place took time/effort.
    My first thought is to hope this means he misses me and wants me back – but there was no note, and no contact whatsoever besides these gifts. So my second thought is that maybe he’s relieved to finally be done with the drama and he is just being a nice guy and just tying up loose ends by dropping these things off so he doesn’t feel guilty for never completing the task. But why go out of his way when we agreed to meet to discuss the legal aspect of things (divorce etc) in a month? He still has a ton of things to pick up from my place, so he could give me everything next month when he comes to get his things.
    My friend says maybe it was his way of hoping to appease me and re-open the lines of communication, that he’s scared to just contact me directly because he doesn’t know if I’m mad at him.
    But I don’t know. No note, no other contact, the objects weren’t super significant, and he seemed so sure he was done with me when he left. So what do you make of these gifts in the mailbox, hand-delivered by him?

    1. Jessie

      May 15, 2015 at 6:12 am

      Hi Chris, thanks for the quick response! If you think it’s his way of opening communication back up, what should I do? Do I text him a “thank you for going out of your way to bring ____ over” now? Do I wait out the full no-contact period and mention it later? By ignoring his “gifts”, am I hurting his feelings and making him want me LESS?

    2. Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2015 at 3:54 pm

      Thanks for the birthday wishes.

      I think your friend may be right. I think maybe it was his way of opening communication back up.

  10. Jessica

    May 12, 2015 at 9:09 pm

    Hi Chris,

    After 74 days of NC I finally reached out to my ex. I’ve been using your advice on here in conjunction with Mike Fiore’s Text Yuor Ex Back that you sent an email about a woman having success using both your program and TYXB together. The first time I got a response right away, and then cut the conversation short. The second time, I let conversation flow a little bit but it was mostly small talk. My ex isn’t good with communicating via text to begin with, so it’s like talking to a brick wall and I just don’t know how I can create a bond and spark attraction again when it’s not face to face communication. Texting him just feels so stale, but it’s the only choice I have given that he’s moved away for university. That and most of his time and attention go to other things like his hobbies and friends. What else can I do to build rapport again if this just isn’t working?

    1. Jessica

      May 18, 2015 at 1:24 am

      Hi Chris,

      Leaving you with an update. Texted him Monday of last week in which we had small, dry conversation that ended when I woke up the next morning and saw he’d asked me a question about my internship while I was sleeping, replied to it, shot him a similar question, and then he never replied. Didn’t contact him until today. I just graduated with my bachelor’s so I included him in the mass text I sent my friends who couldn’t be there which included a picture of me and “I’m finally done!” Though I did add that I hoped his internship interviews he told me about had gone well. He replied almost immediately, but it was pretty neutral. “Yep. Congrats.”

      Neutral is better than bad, but it’s still not going where I want it to. Phone/Skype calls still aren’t an option either. What would you suggest I do? I was thinking that I could wait an extended period of time before trying to open communication with him again, but I’m not sure if any amount of time in between will help improve the situation.

    2. Jessica

      May 13, 2015 at 8:58 pm

      At times he would be more open on the phone, but he has to be in the mood for a phone call, and he wasn’t near the end of our relationship so I’m not sure if he’ll be more open to one now. We were actually in an LDR so phone/skype calls were the norm, but sometimes he wouldn’t be “totally there” to begin with because of the mood that was created by our frequent arguing in the last month of our relationship, as well as like I said, his hobbies taking most of his time.

      I would like to get to that point, but I’m not sure what steps to take in that direction if he’s a brick wall during the texting phases I’d hoped would bridge communication again.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:49 pm

      What about a phone call?

      Is he more at home through a phone call?

  11. M.

    May 12, 2015 at 6:14 pm

    in theory things work but in reality no matter what you do for the other heā€™ll betray you.. I have a question, I went on a date with a guy and he was very clear and honest with me, from what he said I got that he doesnā€™t really want a relantionship but just have a good time. He speaks to me on fb all these days but just in a friendly tone..Iā€™m wondering is there a way of ā€changingā€ his mind and make him actually want a relantionship with me??

    1. M.

      May 15, 2015 at 5:36 pm

      heā€™s 4 years older than me..about 28.. Itā€™s a good age to settle down but he told me that at some point he lived together with a girl but they broke up..from what I undertood that must have been at least a year ago,,But now I canā€™t even make him ask me a second date.. any hopes?

    2. M.

      May 13, 2015 at 6:27 pm

      he’s 4 years older than me..about 28.. It’s a good age to settle down but he told me that at some point he lived together with a girl but they broke up..from what I undertood that must have been at least a year ago,,But now I can’t even make him ask me a second date.. any hopes?

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:45 pm

      How old is he because its important to know that?

  12. Rosa

    May 12, 2015 at 10:13 am

    Hi Chris!

    I wish I had read this article a month ago or waited longer! I finally thought I got my ex back and I asked him where it was going and if we were back together (we went on a romantic day trip to a beach he had never been to). He texts me the next day that I scared him with the question and it was too intense and to talk about it later in the week when we meet. Well, I haven’t heard from him in 3 weeks and he is dating someone new. I’m not sure if it’s time to throw in the towel.

    Since our break up he has dated other people but it usually lasts a month or 2 only. I tried dating as well. I wish I would have waited or saw these tips on dropping hints! I’m just not sure if it is worth it anymore because I feel sort of disrespected that he wouldn’t tell me anything – not even a “I can’t do this now” and just not talk to me. I haven’t reached out since he was scared and now that he’s dating someone else, I’m trying to move on again. I had lost a lot of weight, worked on myself and everything! I thought I was so close!

    Thank you for writing these articles! Happy belated birthday, I saw the comment above that it was recent!

    Best,
    Rosa

    1. Rosa

      May 13, 2015 at 3:31 pm

      I know because we are still facebook friends and he tags being at dinners with her, bbq’s with her. He posts videos like “you are beautiful” to her wall. He hasn’t told me, but it seems like they are dating from all of the back and forth banter via facebook.

    2. Rosa

      May 12, 2015 at 5:38 pm

      Hi Chris,

      When I asked him in person he said he wanted to take it slow. He seemed a bit surprised by the question. I didn’t say no and it really seemed like it wasn’t a big deal to him. Then the next day he texted that he was scared it was too intense and now I haven’t heard from him and I have not reached out either. It’s been 3 weeks and it looks like he is dating someone new.

      I’m not sure if I should just move on and wait to see if he gets in touch again or completely ignore. Thank you so much for responding!

      Best,
      Rosa

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:43 pm

      How do you know hes dating someone new?

    4. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:23 pm

      Thanks for the birthday wishes.

      Ok, question Rosa.

      How did he react exactly when you asked him the question in person?

  13. AA

    May 12, 2015 at 5:49 am

    Hi Chris,
    my case is an odd one…my ex bf got back together with his ex gf few days ago (I think it was the ex gf who made the first move) right after he broke up with me! What should I do to get him back? Or is there any chance for me to get him back? Currently I’m on the NC period also trying to better myself to become an UG…but I’m just so not sure that if he’s still interested?

    1. AA

      May 13, 2015 at 3:07 am

      About 6 months(3 months LDR 3 months livetogether). The reason they broke up in the first place was because the girl got way too clingy and needy(she’s 23) and my ex thought he needs some time alone. After 4 months they split up me and him met and started an official relationship for 2 months. Everything’s fine and great until last week he dropped the bomb completely out of blue. It was a general “textbook” breakup, he was saying things like “you didn’t do anything wrong, you’re a great gf, it’s just my feelings for you was no long there and I don’t think I’m ready to get into a very serious relationship soon blahblah…” and I asked if there’s other girl involved he said NO. So basically he dumped me (and get back with his ex) with no specific and valid reason?! I have absolutely no idea what the heck just happened. Me and him are at the same age of 26, share same moral values/interests/personalities/life goals, but apparently to him, we’re just “look good on paper”:(

      Anyways, I’m really lucky to find your website and podcast (please just keep them coming:))!! Your articles helped me A LOT. Thanks for getting back to me and happy belated birthday Chris!! Have a nice day:)

    2. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:50 pm

      I plan on recording a new podcast this week.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:18 pm

      How long did their relationship last?

      Do you remember?

  14. Kristin Lay

    May 11, 2015 at 6:03 pm

    I really REALLY need help. So my ex and i have been broken up since last July. We didn’t talk for 3 months and he acted like he hated me. Then in Oct he friend requested me . Then we talked a bit, mostly me initiating conversation , he only met up with me to tell me about his awesome new girlfriend, who broke up with him in 3 months. then we met in April to have lunch were friends he apologized. Now last week we kissed he is not sure he wants to be with me. He has slept with me since. He seems to be very confused and cautious he said loves me and always have always will. I just don’t know what to do to get him to be with or convince him….. HELP!!!!PLEASE ANSWER

    1. Kristin

      May 20, 2015 at 2:58 pm

      What do I do how do I get him to commit? Like idk if he wants me or what to do he seems to be avoiding being alone with me idk help please!!!

    2. Kristin

      May 20, 2015 at 2:41 pm

      He doesn’t but he is responsive when I text him . Do you think we can get back together? What do I do?

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 20, 2015 at 2:53 pm

      I think it is good that he is responsive though.

    4. Kristin

      May 19, 2015 at 7:12 pm

      Now he doesn’t seem to want to hangout with me or anything what is going on? He does t like my things on Facebook please help? ANSWER PLEASE!

    5. Chris Seiter

      May 20, 2015 at 1:48 pm

      He doesn’t or does like things on your facebook?

    6. Kristin

      May 14, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      How do I get pas his resistance and show him I’m the girl for him? Like how do I keep the momentum going.? Should I contact him? Or wait for him to contact me ?

    7. Kristin

      May 13, 2015 at 4:45 pm

      So what should I do first? Any ideas?

    8. Chris Seiter

      May 14, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      Keep the momentum rolling like I said and if you are forced to walk away show him that you are serious about it.

    9. Kristin

      May 12, 2015 at 8:04 pm

      So do I have a chance? What do I do?

    10. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      I think you do have a chance for sure though.

    11. Kristin

      May 12, 2015 at 6:41 pm

      So what do I do now? He likes everything on Facebook of mine and he said he loves me and we are going on a date soon but I want to have a relationship he seems hesistant to commit help!

    12. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:44 pm

      Keep the momentum rolling and you may eventually have to walk away and let him know that you aren’t wasting your time forever.

      (Thats a last ditch tactic though.)

    13. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:06 pm

      You did make a mistake of sleeping with him.

      You shouldn’t sleep with him until he commits.

  15. Jj

    May 11, 2015 at 4:24 pm

    I’ve followed the steps and gotten to the high point twice but he’s still so hesitant and has new excuses every time, like he’s afraid to try again . We’ve been broken up for 7 months and now he’s more comfortable with hanging out with me and we have deep inectual and spiritual conversations to where I’m like THIS FEELS RIGHT. But for him rather as seeing it as “right” he’s worried it’s merely that it feels “comfortable” . I’m seriously almost at my witts end with this guy. We’re both 19 so I understand if he’s in a bit of a “there’s so much more life to experience ” type thing and he feels he needs to “find ” himself (he hasn’t been with anybody or hooked up with anyone
    since being broken up tho.) He says he knows at some point we might be together again or maybe I will find another guy or vice versa and we just gotta see how life plays out. (Dumb. )
    But every other time we hangout I am on my best behavior- totally chill and strictly friendly, then tension builds up and HE is the one that flirts ,HES the one that suggests future traveling plans, and HES the one that makes a move and will
    Kiss me and im thinking like well damn!we’re making progress!… and then he chickens out again and I feel like I’m back at square one. I just don’t know what to do. Constant battle between having hope- wanting to give up , but then not wanting to let go. Should I even keep trying? It’s so unfair .

    1. JJ

      May 11, 2015 at 9:19 pm

      yes we are both 19,- college- same town , same college (not because one person followed the other or anything, thats just how things played out)

    2. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:11 pm

      Cool, seems like you actually will have a decent shot of getting him back.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2015 at 5:20 pm

      He’s 19 as well?

      Are you both still in high school or college?

      LDR or regular relationship?

  16. noor

    May 11, 2015 at 1:54 pm

    Hey chris
    I really liked the article and I need your opinion .
    He loved me and he used to open up to his sister about what he felt and she used to tell me what he said , we were great for a few months , I wasn’t crazy about him or needy or anything but I cared about him and encouraged him to stop smoking and he did . So basically we were great together , I didn’t confess that I loved him when he did but told him that I liked him and I really liked talking to him . oneday I knew that my family and I might travel to a different country in a few months so I wanted to know what would happen to us if I did , he said that nothing will change and that he believed that the distance won’t matter , but after a week or two I talked to him to know if he changed his mind and he said “I don’t know , I’ve been thinking about it and I feel like you want us to remain only friends” I don’t know why I said “yes” two days later he texted me and I told him that I might not travel for a specific reason , I expected he would be happy to hear that but he wasn’t , he said “lets think today and decide tomorrow” the next day he broke up with me saying that it would be best and he didn’t exactly say why . I tried to tell him that I don’t want us to break up but he ignored it , and we said goodbye .
    It’s been two weaks now and he didn’t contact me again and I didn’t try to call or text or contact him in any way too .
    I know that he loves me , I just don’t get it and I want him back .
    Can you please tell me what to do . Should I wait or should I talk?

    1. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      Would I be right in assuming you haven’t quite gotten to the point of asking him to be in a relationship yet?

  17. kavya

    May 10, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    Happy Birthday! (:
    wishing you a beautiful life ahead…Let stars make your wishes come true in cutest manner!

    1. S

      May 12, 2015 at 5:01 am

      Belated happy birthday, Chris! I remember you mentioned your birthday in one of your articles. šŸ˜€

    2. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:16 pm

      Thank you!

      I had a great birthday.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2015 at 5:26 pm

      Whoa! How did you know it was my birthday!!!!

  18. Priscilla

    May 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm

    Chris! You’re great. I love your writing. Help me! I did a month of no contact and dropped off the face of the earth. when I met with him I tried to be the UG however he wasn’t interested! He didn’t ask a single thing about me- no connection, conversation, chemistry. Then the conversation turned deep and he wound up asking me to give him another month to make a decision? Telling me to call and text? So I did but it becomes imbalanced. What’s going on?? Can you direct me to one of your pages or give me good advice here? More NC?

    1. priscilla

      May 14, 2015 at 2:33 am

      sorry chris! i meant: after a month of nc I feel great about myself! I lost weight, I have been incredibly successful with my work goals, I have been hanging out with friends and going to events posting new things to my snapchat story (not everything) and he looks at them but doesnā€™t ask. When we met I didnā€™t tell about it all but there was no intrigue. When we met I didnā€™t tell all but there was no intrigue. He literally only answered my questions and it just seemed dead in terms of chemistry. Itā€™s like a whole different person Iā€™ve never met. He isnā€™t really interested in communicating with me even though he ā€œneeds more timeā€ but Says ā€œdonā€™t avoid meā€. What am I missing? It doesnt seem like he’ll want to speak to me anytime soon.

    2. Priscilla

      May 11, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      I feel great about myself! I lost weight, I have been incredibly successful with my work goals, I have been hanging out with friends and I feel great about myself! I lost weight, I have been incredibly successful with my work goals, I have been hanging out with friends and going to events posting new things to my snapchat story (not everything) and he looks but doesn’t ask. When we met I didn’t tell all but there was no intrigue. He literally only answered my questions and it just seemed dead in terms of chemistry. It’s like a whole different person I’ve never met. He isn’t really interested in communicating with me even though he “needs more time” but Says “don’t avoid me”. What am I missing? going to events posting new things to my snapchat story (not everything) and he looks but doesn’t ask. When we met I didn’t tell all but there was no intrigue. He literally only answered my questions and it just seemed dead in terms of chemistry. It’s like a whole different person I’ve never met. He isn’t really interested in communicating with me even though he “needs more time” but Says “don’t avoid me”. What am I missing?

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:15 pm

      Hi Priscilla, your comment seems to repeat itself multiple times….

      Is there something wrong with your computer or phone?

    4. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      What specifically did you do to become the ungettable girl?

  19. Kelsi

    May 10, 2015 at 7:31 am

    Hey chris!
    So I’ve been in contact with my ex for about a month now! He asked me to hangout two days ago and yesterday we did! It was great, we watched a movie together and snuggled a little, he even held my hand! We didn’t kiss, or hook up or anything like that, but we were both being really playful and tickling each other hahaha and it seemed like he came close to kissing me. And I asked him about it, in a joking way, and he got super weird about it! He basically said that he didn’t think about trying to kiss me and I asked if I made things weird by asking and he responded with just a “yes” and didn’t text me back after it. What happened?!?!? How could things go from awesome, to awkward, over something that I don’t consider to be a big deal? It almost feels like he’s looking for an excuse to make things weird between us, which is SOO out of character for him. Please give me some insight! I’m majorly confused.

    1. Kelsi

      May 15, 2015 at 6:26 am

      Apparently he was trying to get in my pants. We talked about it and he decided that he felt really bad about that, and that it wouldn’t be far to me. He says he loves talking to me, and he isn’t talking to any other girls (I didn’t ask he just said it) he’s kind of flirty and really sweet when we talk and offered to teach me how to drive his car, it’s a manual, and he pretty much said refused to let me play him for it. But I kind of feel like I’ve been friendzoned… And I don’t know how to get out of it. I mentioned something about a date and he tired to figure out who it was, which made me feel like he was a little jealous….

    2. Kelsi

      May 11, 2015 at 7:20 pm

      I said “so am I crazy, or did it seem like you almost went in for a kiss lol”

      So he told me that when we hungout it felt weird to him, and that it was awkward, which is so weird to me, because he didn’t seem awkward when we hungout, he seemed really happy, and when I would get up to do something and come back and sit with him, he’d put his arm back around me… So I kind of feel like that’s just an excuse.

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 12, 2015 at 1:07 pm

      I think its in his head honestly…

      Or an excuse.

    4. Chris Seiter

      May 11, 2015 at 5:29 pm

      How did you ask him about it?

      Be as specific as possible.

  20. Minnie

    May 9, 2015 at 8:05 am

    He is starting to flirt another girl and I am almost going crazy. I don’t know whether he wants a serious relationship or not, but the problem is that he is finding another girl for his empty space.
    I have done 30 days of no contact. After that, I texted him and almost messages that I was replied are positive. Yesterday, we have chatted on facebook for 1 hour, the longest conversation we have since the break up. But today I signed in by his facebook account (I know his password and he doesn’t change it), I saw his flirting messages for another girl. He said things like what he had said to me at the first time. My mood change quickly from hopeful into hopeless. I know that I should do something to get him back, but really don’t know what to do. If he starts a serious relationship, it will be too difficult for us to get back together. Everyday I feel so scared. I don’t know what is on his mind now.
    Maybe I am so sensitive because he is single now and it’s easy to understand a 20-year-old man sending some flirting messages to girls? I want him back as soon as possible. The more time passes, the longer distance between us. I really want us to have a talk about this problem. But he said he needed more time and he was thinking. I don’t know what to do now!!

    1. Minnie

      May 14, 2015 at 10:35 am

      I knew his facebook password. And I stalked him. That’s why I can easily notice that he is trying to flirt another girl (Sorry, I am so guilty, right). However these days, he seems to busy to talk with that girl. I don’t see any messages of them. And once again, when I asked him to get back (it’s hard to say but he knew I want to talk about our problem, and he still encouraged me to speak out), he said ‘No, everything is end’ at first and he tried to be nice just because he doesn’t want to hurt me. But you know, I am really want him to think again (it seems needy but I don’t know what to do in that situation), and then he said that he still confused and he himself really don’t know what to do. Both of us don’t know what to do. I don’t know if he have thought about us or not, but he still confused because he still doesn’t want to lose me right? Even though, at the moment, he like freedom and flirting girls more?

    2. Minnie

      May 12, 2015 at 5:27 pm

      Sorry, Chris. I haven’t seen your reply yet so I post my story again. Please help me!
      He is starting to flirt another girl and I am almost going crazy. I donā€™t know whether he wants a serious relationship or not, but the problem is that he is finding another girl for his empty space.
      I have done 30 days of no contact. After that, I texted him and almost messages that I was replied are positive. Yesterday, we have chatted on facebook for 1 hour, the longest conversation we have since the break up. But today I signed in by his facebook account (I know his password and he doesnā€™t change it), I saw his flirting messages for another girl. He said things like what he had said to me at the first time. My mood change quickly from hopeful into hopeless. I know that I should do something to get him back, but really donā€™t know what to do. If he starts a serious relationship, it will be too difficult for us to get back together. Everyday I feel so scared. I donā€™t know what is on his mind now. He said that he needs more time because he can’t make a decision now. He wants to be free and to flirt girls as many as he can.
      Maybe I am so sensitive because he is single now and itā€™s easy to understand a 20-year-old man sending some flirting messages to girls? I want him back as soon as possible. The more time passes, the longer distance between us. I donā€™t know what to do now!!

    3. Chris Seiter

      May 13, 2015 at 12:39 pm

      Your fear is a common one.

      May I ask how you found out hes flirting with another girl?

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