39 thoughts on “How Can I Show My Ex That I’m Changing?”

1. 

   Rachel

   September 4, 2018 at 9:18 pm

   Thank you chris. I’m going to continue with the 45 days no contact. After reading your book and a bunch of articles I believe that would be the best as there are a lot of hurt feelings. Do you think he is really over me? And what should I do if he does what he did in the past, coming over and knocking on my door at all hours. He is very persistent. I know I need to set clear boundaries but I’m not sure how to get through to him. Do you have an article on an ex who refuses to commit completely but is persistent when you are trying to succeed in no contact? And article on how to set clear boundaries?

1. 

   Chris Seiter

   September 5, 2018 at 12:19 am

   Hi again Rachel!

   Yes…those hurt feelings can run deep. There are so many factors involved as to whether someone has given up on their lover. My gut tells me he is not over you given his past history. Many guys are this way….they want it all. They get fussy and walk away. Then they get jealous and want back in. Lots of reasons for this…to complicated to talk about here. But setting boundaries is a good thing so he doesn’t think he is entitled to whatever he wants. Successful relationships don’t work that way.

2. 

   Rachel

   September 4, 2018 at 8:48 pm

   My ex said he was choosing me just last week. He said he wanted to be with me forever. Well due to our past relationship and other ones, I have major trust issues and i know I need to heal myself before i can recommit to him. I love him and he said he loves me. He told me he that he was still talking to his ex (whom he left me for and ended things with her to come back to me) but it wasn’t what I was thinking. I ended things because I know I need time to heal myself and I am not in the best place to handle him talking to his ex he left me for. I started 45 days no contact last Wednesday morning. Well this past weekend I found out he took out an older woman. I’m 29. He is 37 and she is 42. He took her out on a date. She doesn’t look like anyone he would date. She is the complete opposite of me. Spent the whole weekend with her and even stayed the night and then told her I couldn’t move on from him or get that the relationship was over. She stated that I needed to move on because he has and he is happy with her and doesn’t want me anymore. I guess now he is saying I’m crazy and that they are both bad mouthing me(I heard all this from a mutual friend) He also blocked me on Facebook. I haven’t been messaging him and I didn’t even know about her until yesterday. Is he really over me when just last week he said he loved me and wanted to choose me? Also, I never stuck up for myself because i do not want to get involved in their relationship. I haven’t contacted any of them and He hasn’t contacted me which makes no contact easier on me. I’m not sure what to do. I bought your EBR pro 3 and a couple of other books which have helped me get him back in the past. Though I’ve never been able to successfully complete no contact due to him living down the street from me. So whenever I’ve tried no contact he has come over at all hours of the day and night just to see me. We have been on again and off again for 3 years now. I’m lost. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you. His name is Chris also.

1. 

   Chris Seiter

   September 4, 2018 at 9:05 pm

   Hi Rachel!

   Probably best to utilize no contact if your prior tactics have failed to create a stable, committed relationship. You will need to nicely talk to him about boundaries and respecting you need to heal and focus on being a better version of yourself.